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Bean Sidhe

Bean Sidhe vs Chaos _ I WANT TO BELIEVE

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Oh, and one more thing. At the PTO meeting, I got asked IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (for the second time by the same person) if I would run this huge party at the end of the year for Youngests grade. This is the second time I have been asked in a large group of people. I said no the first time, the second time I did a "ugh... ugh... Let me check when finals are" someone who doesn't know me said (2 local colleges) finals are well before that." Yes, but I don't go to those 2, I go to (College in another town). "oh" The PTO president kinda shrugged it off and went "didn't we just send out a letter last year asking for help" and I said I would prefer that, I will probably help, but I don't know if I can lead the party with everything else.

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50 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Oh, and one more thing. At the PTO meeting, I got asked IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (for the second time by the same person) if I would run this huge party at the end of the year for Youngests grade. This is the second time I have been asked in a large group of people. I said no the first time, the second time I did a "ugh... ugh... Let me check when finals are" someone who doesn't know me said (2 local colleges) finals are well before that." Yes, but I don't go to those 2, I go to (College in another town). "oh" The PTO president kinda shrugged it off and went "didn't we just send out a letter last year asking for help" and I said I would prefer that, I will probably help, but I don't know if I can lead the party with everything else.

That's not how these things are supposed to work. Everyone knows you nominate someone who didn't show up for the meeting so they can't say no.

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1 hour ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Oh, and one more thing. At the PTO meeting, I got asked IN FRONT OF EVERYONE (for the second time by the same person) if I would run this huge party at the end of the year for Youngests grade. This is the second time I have been asked in a large group of people. I said no the first time, the second time I did a "ugh... ugh... Let me check when finals are" someone who doesn't know me said (2 local colleges) finals are well before that." Yes, but I don't go to those 2, I go to (College in another town). "oh" The PTO president kinda shrugged it off and went "didn't we just send out a letter last year asking for help" and I said I would prefer that, I will probably help, but I don't know if I can lead the party with everything else.

 

UGH that is so frustrating... such a dick move for that person to do. This is why I have started being blunt with people lol Gotta put myself first. Set your limitations that are fair to you and don't help anymore than that. 

 

As for your post previous this one... Can you talk with that guy or get someone he will listen to talk to him? It does not sound like your job description includes cleaning up messes because someone is not a team player. Those PTO meetings sound stressful T_T and I feel all frazzled after reading about your day. You did well keeping to your challenge though.

ALSO... happy belated birthday <3333 

Image result for dean gif

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22 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's not how these things are supposed to work. Everyone knows you nominate someone who didn't show up for the meeting so they can't say no.

 

See that would of been smart. I think part of this is, this principal doesn't understand my philosphy. I can help on multiple things as a grunt, and I can be in everything and most people don't want to do the grunt work.

or I can lead 1 thing, but then I won't be able to help with anything else because that time that would of been spread out before has all been used for the one thing.

 

But more, I was one of 3 parents in the same grade.  and being called out in front of like 20 people to do it, makes the pressure worse.

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21 hours ago, Rookie said:

 

UGH that is so frustrating... such a dick move for that person to do. This is why I have started being blunt with people lol Gotta put myself first. Set your limitations that are fair to you and don't help anymore than that. 

 

My problem is, this is our last year at this school. I don't want to let Youngest down and I plan to HELP with the party anyway. I just don't want to do the actual "running' of it.  Besides, this will hit right after my finals so when I should be doing a large chunk of the planning, I will also be going insane trying to get everything done.

 

21 hours ago, Rookie said:

As for your post previous this one... Can you talk with that guy or get someone he will listen to talk to him? It does not sound like your job description includes cleaning up messes because someone is not a team player. Those PTO meetings sound stressful T_T and I feel all frazzled after reading about your day. You did well keeping to your challenge though.

 

So the catch about my job is, I am in charge of making sure there are supplies out and cleaning up at the end of the week. Between instructors the instructor should be cleaning up, but at the end of the week, I put everything away. So It is kinda my job to clean up messes, but part of me is getting tired of his attitude and his demands. I am in charge of 9 different labs with a total of like 30 sections between them all. Some only have 2 sections, some have 7.  And I am given 25 hours a week to do this. This guy seems to think I am here to just help him. At the same time, I know hes frustrated because the person who is SUPPOSE to be helping him isn't. But I also rate about dirt on the floor level, so picking on me is easy. (this is sadly a thing I have dealt with for awhile).

 

21 hours ago, Rookie said:

ALSO... happy belated birthday <3333 

Image result for dean gif

Thanks

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21 hours ago, BardicGarlic said:

Happy belated birthday! I'm sorry to hear about the PTO though. 

Thanks

 

Its okay. I don't normally go to the meetings because of stuff like that. but It was a "Oh yeah, thats why I don't go" reminder. The PTO is very clickish and I don't deal with that well.

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Weds was another long day. Agents went to school late which always puts me behind schedule. and then it was a long night of activities.

 

I will be honest I am running really tired. Its been getting harder to get out of bed and moving. I know it shouldn't be this hard, but it is. Sadly, sleep is not high on the priority list

 

I did see my dad yesterday when he stopped to drop off flowers for valentines day. he was driving and walking really well. Still using a cane, but he drove himself over. There are still issues there, but that is a different thing.  I also finished one class worth of reading, but the teacher still doesn't have everything posted. This lady is making me a bit crazy.

 

Challenge wise, I don't feel like I did much beyond homework, but I know the challenge said I got all my boxes done.  I do feel like I halfwayed the exercises and stretches last night because I just didn't really want to do them, so I only did like 5 or 10 instead of going until I started to feel tired. Mostly because I was tired when I started.

Strength - 4 out of 4

Flexibility - 6 out of 6

Life and chaos -   12 out of 10

Fight Chaos - Clean-   4 out of 4

Fight Chaos Purge-   4 out of 4

Walking -   2 out of 2

Fuel  -  12  out of 8

Total 44 out of 38

 

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4 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

My problem is, this is our last year at this school. I don't want to let Youngest down and I plan to HELP with the party anyway. I just don't want to do the actual "running' of it.  Besides, this will hit right after my finals so when I should be doing a large chunk of the planning, I will also be going insane trying to get everything done.

 

 

So the catch about my job is, I am in charge of making sure there are supplies out and cleaning up at the end of the week. Between instructors the instructor should be cleaning up, but at the end of the week, I put everything away. So It is kinda my job to clean up messes, but part of me is getting tired of his attitude and his demands. I am in charge of 9 different labs with a total of like 30 sections between them all. Some only have 2 sections, some have 7.  And I am given 25 hours a week to do this. This guy seems to think I am here to just help him. At the same time, I know hes frustrated because the person who is SUPPOSE to be helping him isn't. But I also rate about dirt on the floor level, so picking on me is easy. (this is sadly a thing I have dealt with for awhile).

 

Thanks

Well I totally get what you said above to Tanktimous. That is actually very logical. Just stick to your guns even if they do try to force your hand. Just use the same explanation over and over. Your reasoning is sound. Something like "I just don't have the time or energy to take the lead on planning with finals around the same time and my family but I am more than happy to help in any other way that I can." Even just saying what you said to me. It is a valid reason. You come first.

 

Eek ok that makes sense but its still not your job what he is expecting of you. Not to his demand. I really hope it eventually improves...though since it is something you have had to deal with for awhile it sounds like it won't unless you do something about it. But who has the energy for that. Sometimes it is just easier to bid your time and get it done. 

I am feeling the challenge blues as well. 

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12 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Sadly, sleep is not high on the priority list

 

Tisk tisk.... bean, here’s my motherly love...

 

You get sleep! If not tonight, tomorrow! Sleep should be priority! You exert sooo much energy for everyone else, you gotta work in, let your body re-coop from all the chaos! And your body does that naturally, when you sleep...

 

ok, shutting off my motherly rant! Happy Valentine’s! ^_^

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19 hours ago, Rookie said:

Well I totally get what you said above to Tanktimous. That is actually very logical. Just stick to your guns even if they do try to force your hand. Just use the same explanation over and over. Your reasoning is sound. Something like "I just don't have the time or energy to take the lead on planning with finals around the same time and my family but I am more than happy to help in any other way that I can." Even just saying what you said to me. It is a valid reason. You come first.

 

See this is easy to say in theory. However, I was also taught growing up that people only like me if I am helpful AND some people don't use logic. So I am just trying and I may of spent a good portion of the class party yesterday rounding up people who I know will help and are the ones I would put on a "short list" of parents. So now even the first time parents who didn't know it was coming know this is a thing.

 

 

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

Eek ok that makes sense but its still not your job what he is expecting of you. Not to his demand. I really hope it eventually improves...though since it is something you have had to deal with for awhile it sounds like it won't unless you do something about it. But who has the energy for that. Sometimes it is just easier to bid your time and get it done. 

 

I have a feeling I have 11 more weeks at least with this. After that, who knows.

 

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

I am feeling the challenge blues as well. 

 

I am not so much the challenge blues but worn down. Things are never easy, but some times it gets to me more than others. Yesterday was one of those days

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11 hours ago, Butternut said:

 

Tisk tisk.... bean, here’s my motherly love...

 

You get sleep! If not tonight, tomorrow! Sleep should be priority! You exert sooo much energy for everyone else, you gotta work in, let your body re-coop from all the chaos! And your body does that naturally, when you sleep...

 

ok, shutting off my motherly rant! Happy Valentine’s! ^_^

 

Yes, I know, Sleep is important, but it comes back to that "how many hours are there in a day?" There is no perfect time to do any of the things I am doing, so I just need to make it work, with the hope that the pay off when I graduate is worth it.

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2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

See this is easy to say in theory. However, I was also taught growing up that people only like me if I am helpful AND some people don't use logic. So I am just trying and I may of spent a good portion of the class party yesterday rounding up people who I know will help and are the ones I would put on a "short list" of parents. So now even the first time parents who didn't know it was coming know this is a thing.

 

I have a feeling I have 11 more weeks at least with this. After that, who knows.

 

I am not so much the challenge blues but worn down. Things are never easy, but some times it gets to me more than others. Yesterday was one of those days

Yes but you need to break the mould sometime right? I mean that is just not true. There are people who will only "like you" if you are helpful sure but are those people you really want to like? It is not like they truly like or value you or they wouldn't do that to you. In my own life, I have learnt that there are some people I put a lot of energy into and they like me fine enough... until someone better comes along... then they forget my existence. I have stopped putting so much energy into these types of people because it ends in heartbreak for me lol. My mom is a bit like you... not so much in the helpful but she thinks she has to buy gifts for people or spend money / do extravagant gestures for people to like her. It is sad really and it makes people feel uncomfortable. Plus it opens her up to be used by the bad people. 

 

11 weeks is too long... Is hibernation an option? 

 

Ah okay. I get that. 

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Quick update since I the power is out at work and I was told I have to work Sat instead of today. So I am trying to get a TON of homework done today to make things easier and this is my 10 minute break before I get back to it.

 

Yesterday was busy. Between Work, Youngest's school party and family time, I was swamped. I will say most of the day was homework again when not activly going somewhere. Its a good thing Hubby is so understanding. He knows this is "short term" but it can be draining. I am actually kinda of glad we are not doing a mini this round that requires me to keep track of study time. I don't want to know how much time is spent in homework at the moment

 

I walked to the school since it was 50 outside which was so nice. I didn't go for a real long one, but it was better than nothing. Too bad its not staying warm, the high today is now 12.  I may of also spent part of the class party talking to the parents I know that would be willing to help and letting them either know that class party is a thing (if this is their first kid coming through) or seeing if they would be willing to maybe help with it. Now I can say I talked to them when it comes up next Tues at a meeting and we have are talking about these things.

 

Challenge wise, I did okay. I got all the boxes done which was nice.  I am still sticking to the bedtime of 11:30. But honestly, with getting up at 5, it really doesn't feel like its doing much. It might be that I am so worn down, but who knows. I also had stupid sugar yesterday, and the stupid sugar melt as a result. But Hubby brought home just a tiny bag of chocolate for me since he didn't have a chance to do anything else. However, it does remind me why I don't need to eat it and it was the first time this challenge I ate any.

 

Strength - 4 out of 4

Flexibility - 7 out of 6 

Life and chaos -   12 out of 10

Fight Chaos - Clean-   4 out of 4

Fight Chaos Purge-   4 out of 4

Walking -   3 out of 2

Fuel  -  11  out of 8

Total 45 out of 38

 

Seeing this I am doing okay. I seem to stumble the most on exercise, stretches and exercise. I should also get better at the cleaning,but the fuel goal is going well and the life and family I am doing okay.

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8 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Seeing this I am doing okay. I seem to stumble the most on exercise, stretches and exercise. I should also get better at the cleaning,but the fuel goal is going well and the life and family I am doing okay.

 

Yes. You are doing great!

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9 hours ago, Rookie said:

Yes but you need to break the mould sometime right? I mean that is just not true. There are people who will only "like you" if you are helpful sure but are those people you really want to like? It is not like they truly like or value you or they wouldn't do that to you. In my own life, I have learnt that there are some people I put a lot of energy into and they like me fine enough... until someone better comes along... then they forget my existence. I have stopped putting so much energy into these types of people because it ends in heartbreak for me lol. My mom is a bit like you... not so much in the helpful but she thinks she has to buy gifts for people or spend money / do extravagant gestures for people to like her. It is sad really and it makes people feel uncomfortable. Plus it opens her up to be used by the bad people. 

 

Rookie

Thank you for the idea, but the situation is more complex than I think you realize. While yes, this is not the "correct" way to think, there is more to it. I do admit that I know I have issues. I have multiple ones, and this is one of the things I will work on, when I have time. however, now is not that time. And While yes, I have been hurt, many times by this method, it also means I am helpful but I don't trust. While I do value your support here, please understand that nothing is as simple as I may make it out as, mostly because the other parts, the parts I am not fixing, are going to take many things I can't do right now and I am handling those issues the best I can. 

 

9 hours ago, Rookie said:

11 weeks is too long... Is hibernation an option? 

 

Nope, not an option. I work at a college, its a 16 week semester, and we have 11 weeks to go, 12 if you count finals. So it is something I am trying to address, but I don't see a quick answer.

 

 

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On 2/15/2019 at 5:16 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

Seeing this I am doing okay.

 

You are doing more then okay.

Remember that you shoved up the bar one the difficulty?

I don't remember exactly but did you make a plan for how you are going to evaluate the points total?

Bc it kinda feels like meeting your quota is the minimum per day but you expect to do more then that in order to feel okay with the result?

 

I've been staying mum because I've had a hard time imagining how all the things above might play out for you.

But one thought about your email ignoring coworker kinda superior, do you occasionally meet him in person?

I know that you are at te end of the foodchain but it sounds like someone who just wants people to acknowledge that he got too much on his plate...

Presuming that it's way harder to ignore you in person, it might pose a chance to give a little bit were it won't hurt your schedule.

Harvard model is an Utopia but sometimes it helps to keep it in mind to smooth some edges on conflicts.

 

All the best, things will work out.

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On 2/15/2019 at 8:11 PM, Bean Sidhe said:

 

Rookie

Thank you for the idea, but the situation is more complex than I think you realize. While yes, this is not the "correct" way to think, there is more to it. I do admit that I know I have issues. I have multiple ones, and this is one of the things I will work on, when I have time. however, now is not that time. And While yes, I have been hurt, many times by this method, it also means I am helpful but I don't trust. While I do value your support here, please understand that nothing is as simple as I may make it out as, mostly because the other parts, the parts I am not fixing, are going to take many things I can't do right now and I am handling those issues the best I can. 

 

 

Nope, not an option. I work at a college, its a 16 week semester, and we have 11 weeks to go, 12 if you count finals. So it is something I am trying to address, but I don't see a quick answer.

 

 

Ah okay. Probably. I tend to over simplify things either way. And just because that works for me, doesn't mean it works for others.

 

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I am here. Too much homework this weekend and I didn't get my NF points. I am planning to play catch up later today. Right now I got to get moving. But I am here. Just wishing I could find a minute to breathe.

I will say, I kinda wish I was tracking my study minutes like that one challenge, and I kinda don't want to. I think the 10 hours studying over the weekend would make me cry

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So I was wrong. Today did not go as well as I had hoped. Mostly, people don't know how to run on time.

Replies are going to be tomorrow. And I think updates are going to be too.

 

But the spoiler is, I got all my boxes all 3 days. And with not working Friday, I managed to get an all time high score for my boxes with 54 pts for the day. It was nice not working. I also updated my spreadsheet to keep track of the highest point total and show me which day that was. Sat was a total of 47 and Sunday 43.


Sat and Sunday were mostly homework with some family drama with the extended family. I really really don't want to end up like that. They are so out of shape, they couldn't get up (and its not an old thing). Also found out, SUPER overweight cousin (who is a complete waste of space) dislocated his knee. So now, I have visions of me being there. Doesn't help I am being told I already am, but whatever. Also told a few other things about how "homework shouldn't be this hard" and I was "Making a big deal out of nothing." and I should "be doing more for my family" 

 

So yeah, Challenge wise I did good, homework was okay. But I have some new things I need to process.

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51 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

They are so out of shape, they couldn't get up (and its not an old thing). Also found out, SUPER overweight cousin (who is a complete waste of space) dislocated his knee. So now, I have visions of me being there. Doesn't help I am being told I already am, but whatever. 

 

Maybe you are being told that, but man, you get to see what the longevity of living that way can do to you.

 

The greatest thing our body can do is heal itself and it can do it quick.  Now it may take 1-2 years to get to where you want to go, but think about that for a minute..  Of all the years you've been unhealthy, it ONLY takes a year or two to find a better mind and body.  

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