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WEEK 1 DAY 6

 

Wow did the time fly by! Half has been the fact I've been busy as heck, half that I didn't have a computer for 2 days cause tech is weird and half because I was trying to spend less time on it and more doing things.

Today I'm sewing - pillowcases, because it was about time to use up the fabric we have and have more than three of them to switch around all the time. I also need to study for my exam. I will be done with two classes this month if everything goes to plan, leaving three for next month. The rest of the days have mostly been either computer stuff or me worrying. 

 

Inclines are at 383 - low for a thousand, but I have a reason - I changed the level once I was able to do 15 inline push ups in a row. Now I can do five. The diminished sets and the general 'holy hell' of this week is the reason the number is so low, so at this point I just hope I get over 600. 

I also had to carry the PC down five flights of stairs and up so I mean yeah that's not that bad.

 

The trackers are okay-ish, I still need to get up when I wake up.

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42 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

Woot for being strong enough to carry the PC down all those stairs. It's so amazing when the exercise pays off in real life

 

it has been a thing I could do for a while but my posture has changed a lot - gotten better, so now it's even easier. 

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The tree

 

 Of course it wouldn't be simple. Echo had begun to think life deliberately did the opposite of what she expected. Things that she thought should be hard turned out to be easy, and things that should've been simple... well it wasn't like she was lost in the woods on purpose.

 It didn't help that it was kinda her fault. Nefer Wood was notorious for it. It read you mind and used it against you. And she has been feeling weird. Like she was going through the motions of life. Not that she didn't like her life. It wasn't even numbness. She knew numbness and how it presented itself. No, she was comfortable and on a path she liked and could see the end result from, a result she wasn't scared of. Yeah, nervous, but nervous was a good thing, it was the cousin of excitedness.

 She didn't know what she felt. Which is probably why instead of the heavy winds that would hit her over and over like a punch, tearing through her armour no matter how much she'd bundle up, or the earthquakes that made the earth below groan and crack, bleeding hot lava just like her anger did, this time, the woods simply wouldn't let her leave.

 Evander rose his eyebrow when they ended up passing the same clearing with a tree twice. The eyebrow raise persisted as they passed it for the fourth time.

 "Magic?" he signed.

 "Yes." Echo signed. At least Mr Shell didn't seem to notice. Though he was nervous. The rations had depleted two days ago. Now Evander's bow kept them fed.  She had to hand it to the half-elf, that guy could shoot and had sharp eyes to boot. And he didn't do the stupid thing and leave her to try and find his own way - the woods didn't like people that did that.

 On the fifth day, Echo sighed and opened her notebook. They were back at the bloody tree they kept running into.

 

Stay here, I need a high vantage point.

 

 Mr Shell turned to Evander, face puzzled. The man had stopped trying to speak during the path. Everyone did eventually, no one really wanted their words reflected back at them for long. Evander had simply begun setting up the camp and Echo dropped the gear she didn't need and climbed the tree.

 The wood kept leading her to it? Then she was going to see if she could use it to find her way out.

 The tree was tall, heavy leaves weighing even the thickest branches. It creaked even under her own minuscule weight, an unsteady sway to a precarious climb. It made her entire body tingle, and her grip tighten, it made her pay attention to her movements, slowing them down to a crawl. Sweat had begun to bead on her forehead.

 A fitting metaphor for her life. Even before this test, that she had started to think of as a curse before, before simply settling on viewing it as a fact of her life, uncertainty had nipped at the back of her heels, pouncing whenever she had felt strongly about something. Uncertainty in her own abilities - am I strong enough, am I smart enough, is this really this hard or am I just weak? Uncertainty in the future - if this is out of my control how can I know it will turn out the way I need it to? Uncertainty in the people around her - do they really see this the same way as me, or at least the same way as I think they do?

 After the test, she'd tried to figure out why. Why was this her thing? Repeating what people said. Was it that she needed to learn to listen to others? Or was it a reminder that she was too loud, too brash, too much sometimes, that even she was afraid of it. Or was it something else that she needed to do that she was too dumb to think of? Or was it that she relied on her voice too much and needed to stop and use her other senses?

 Echo finally got near the top of the tree. She was higher than she thought she was. Maybe the wood had moved her up a bit, it could do that. The tree swayed under her and she had a death grip on the branch in front of her, suddenly afraid of how high she was. And yet the landscape in front of her, trees bathed in fog that clung to them like a blanket, the cool thin air hitting her in the face, wind just strong enough for her to feel it but not strong enough to knock her on her ass, made her think she'd made the right decision.

 So now what?

 There was no big epiphany. It seemed she'd had her fair share of those since she'd came to Nefer Woods. Take it easy on yourself, but push at your limits nonetheless. Anger demands to be felt and then let go. The only thing you can control is how you react. You and how you feel matter. Nothing happens if you don't do it. She'd had more run ins with the magic than anyone else in just a short amount of time. Curse of the introspective, she mused. Now all she needed was to consciously implement them, which was going to be a work in progress for all of her life.

 But now, the tree had been climbed, and there was simply that odd feeling of an item crossed off from the list, leaving an empty space behind.

 Appreciate your results? Echo thought. She did somehow always manage to just skip the afterglow of even a decent day. No, couldn't be that simple. She knew she needed to let herself back in the afterglow of a job well done more. Another thing she needed to improve by constant trial and error. At least that was a lesson she never had to learn. Even if she failed, she hadn't failed completely if she didn't give up. Her reason for trying was the statement 'what am I gonna do, stop?'.

 Echo closed her eyes and focused on the swing on the tree, the uncertainty of life, the way her body responded to it, weight and foot placement shifting on the branches, boots and armour sliding on bark. Adjustments during the changes of life. Adjustments she made without thinking, because just as life in general was unpredictable, it was also her environment. She could move with the groan and sway.

 "Miss Echo? Are you going to move higher?"

 "Miss Echo? Are you going to move higher?" Echo didn't hear Mr Shell until she repeated his words back at him. When she looked down she released she wasn't even halfway up the tree yet.

 Huh, I could've sworn I did climb this. Echo thought at herself, feeling the exertion in her muscles. She jumped down, it wasn't far.

 "Magic. Should be okay now." She signed at Evander. It was easier to tell him that than fish out her notebook again.

 "We should move now." Evander began packing up.

 "We should move now."

 "But, we've just stopped."

 "But, we've just stopped."

 "Magic woods don't always make sense."

 "Magic woods don't always make sense."

 Echo picked up her things while repeating, wincing at the whine in Mr Shell's voice, and when both Evander and Mr Shell were ready, she strode forward. They didn't get back to the tree again.

 

 

 

 

 

Okay that was a little rambly but nice. I didn't really have a point with this, but it didn't turn out as flat as I thought it would. 

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On 2/18/2019 at 7:16 AM, Salinger said:

Can we see the pillow cases you make?xx

 

Well, they are just regular squares made out of cotton (they're for sleeping not decoration), and currently in the wash. Not very interesting. But fun, especially for practice on the machine.

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WEEK 2 DAY 6

 

Wow did I vanish these days. I have either been busy as hell or swallowed by the void there was no in between. At least I have been trying to get out of it as soon as I fell in. So let's see what's going one shall we?

 

Inclines are at 545. I got to 8 a set on my bed, 3 sets total at a time. More confident about my form now and a general real up in strength too (I am always surprised at how easy it happens to me, even after two + years of exercise). I am no longer planning on hitting 1 000 jut as close as I can get to it, cause I wasn't actually planning on lowering my incline level when I made the goal.

At the end of week 3 I'll try a no incline push up and see how far I've gotten. What I do after will depend on how I do, but I have some ideas.

 

Exams - new material was added, instead of the class I thought I was taking I got shifted to a new one, and now I have a lot more to learn. I am so glad I catch on quickly cause I don't know the date/s for the exams (but I know it's this next week for both) and I haven't started yet, cause my brain refused to focus on anything regarding this for an entire week. Fun. This is also one reason I dislike not having a car or knowing how to drive - I have to wait for 2 hours almost every time to catch the bus which means I spend a lot of money on coffee cause I need a place to sit (a lot for me).

 

The trackers aren't all 80% - fair cause a lot of them are new habits - but I have been filling them out consistently and have seen where my weak spots are so they are serving their use. Which is all I ask for.

 

Organisation - I need a new box for my stuff. To clarify, I have a shoe box that I use to put all my small breakable stuff in that I use semi regularly - bottles of nail polish for example, that I keep under my mirror - no dust, no thousands of tiny little stuff lying around. But the box is too tiny now, so I'm trying to figure out what size I'd need and if I can still use a box. I know the size of the box I can get, so I'll figure something out, but this is a March problem.  I should stop thinking about it now.

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Oh man, I can't imagine being at the whims of a bus schedule. ;_;  (I also really really like driving too so)

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5 hours ago, shaar said:

(I also really really like driving too so)

 

I haven't had the opportunity to like driving, cause my family hasn't owned a car since I was like 5 or 6, and the only extended experience I've had with it is cab drivers and the time we carpooled to work. But it has made me think I'd like it more if I was the driver. :

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WEEK 3 DAY 6

 

Boy have I not been updating this thing. I just haven't had the time nor the inclination to honestly, I hate doing small updates where nothing happens. But oh boy do I have stuff to tell you now - and since it's March it means my goals are shifting a bit, so we're gonna talk about that too:

 

Fitness: incline countdown - 627/1 000 total

Now this kinda seems like a failure doesn't it? I would have thought so too, but you see the main goal for this countdown was for me to break through my plateau and be able to do a genuine push up - the idea was to do enough push ups where I could lower the incline. And while I didn't do the actual goal I did accomplish that. I wound up lowering the incline in the middle of the month and going from a set of 5 to a set of 10 during that part. I can now do a full push up on the ground (well, I did it by gripping my 4 pound weights cause I need to vacuum). It's wobbly but I can do it, even if it's only one. I am freaking ecstatic about this.

I've always hated the fact I was weak physically - it made me feel useless and crappy (far crappier than my really low weight did even if that was what people focused on more). Now I can say I've left that behind - I've grown far more comfortable in my own body as a result. I think it's because I have always been focused on what my body can do and I like moving, so being able to do more of it is always good.

A side effect of this is that I am actually about 10 pounds heavier than when I started the journey too, but I haven't changed clothing sizes (which is something my wallet is glad about) This is what people notice far more than the boost to my confidence, though people who see me every day have noticed changes I even haven't - mom personally likes to tease me about this. :D 

 

Big life goal: book, exam and classes - done, done and done

We already know I finished the book, so that is great. The exams and classes could have gone terribly wrong (because due to a miscommunication and a huge screw up on my part I didn't have all the material) but it didn't, because I can make academics my bitch even with my eyes closed. This is continuing onward in March too.

 

ResponsibleFaintHypacrosaurus-small.gif

 

Habits and discipline: 80% completion for all monthly trackers; complete all of your monthly goals - not done but progressed

So I introduced a lot of new trackers over last month so an 80% completion rate was a huge deal. I didn't do it for a lot of them (I think two out of 8 made it) but I did pretty well. I am learning to trust the process and see the progress.

I have a problem where I have a tough time starting things even if it's things I like. It's the same problem I have with focus - it takes a while but when I do it I am like a laser. So slowly working on this to let myself do things.

 

Miscellaneous: two narratives for the challenge - did one

This is the only one that will have roll over, I have one more week for this. And even if I don't do it, it's fine to be fair. Some months I don't have the inclination to write much.

 

Remember this? This is still the spirit of my challenges.

motivation-vs-discipline-2-638.jpg?cb=14

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WEEK 4 - GOALS

 

Fitness - challenges

  • yoga days 2 days a week
  • darebee daily dare days - 4/7 days a week I will check the daily dare on darebee and make an exercise out of it. This is so I can learn which exercises target which muscles. IF the daily dares wind up targeting a lot of the same muscles I have the option to switch it around.
  • runs - I miss running. I should do some of it now that it's warmer.

 

Book, exams and classes

Basically I need to not worry myself sick about the fact my editor will get back to me soon. Exams and classes are as usual, half my obligation, half dependant on the school so I'm planning on three but we'll see.

 

Habits and discipline

I am tackling this on an 'improve from last month' basis. I have far less trackers this month.

Sleep cycle has informed me my sleep is crap, not surprisingly. I have no idea how to fix it though so I am simply continuing my 'get up when you wake up tracker'.

Curbing procrastination one site at a time. I am gonna just not use one of them for a month and see how it goes. Yesterday was a fail for a bit, but hey it's a work in progress.

 

These are the changes that are happening in March. Let's see how it goes. :D 

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BIG GRATS on the pushup!!!!!  Those are hella tough!!  You're doing great!!  (Also sleep why are you an ASSHOLE TO US we deserve better)

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19 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Doing good Echo! When do you think you will hear from your editor? Did they give a time frame?xx

 

Few weeks. I'm keeping an eye on the email. I'm usually not this calm when it comes to news but when the other person I'm dealing with is really organised it makes it easier. 

 

6 hours ago, shaar said:

(Also sleep why are you an ASSHOLE TO US we deserve better)

 

UGH I KNOW RIGHT? I can't wait till I have a schedule. 

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19 hours ago, Echoceanic said:

 

Few weeks. I'm keeping an eye on the email. I'm usually not this calm when it comes to news but when the other person I'm dealing with is really organised it makes it easier. 

 

 

 

 

Good. Glad you feel calm! Im not calm at all, waiting for my dreaded email hahah :D xx

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3 hours ago, Salinger said:

Good. Glad you feel calm! Im not calm at all, waiting for my dreaded email hahah :D xx

 

Just breathe, I'm over here crossing my fingers for you. :D 

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WEEK 4 - DAY 1

 

So I might not be doing all of the exams and classes I wanted this month. I am kinda fine with this, cause it's a schedule problem, and frankly all the travel exhausts me, and because I most likely will be done with something that came out of left field this month anyway, so it's not like I'm losing a month.

What I am happy about is that I've stopped being that anxious - I even rarely have the rushed through of 'oh my god I'm on the wrong bus' that I usually get like 5 times on a single trip. Whihc I have a feeling isn't that normal, and definitely a source of stress.

 

Today was a good example of how the daily dare thing will go. Darebee gave me a 2 min side split for today so I did this combo with no or low rest in between:

1-min half jacks

1 min march steps

2 min side split

25 squats

40 donkey kicks

1 min half-jacks

Wasn't a huge exercise, I could have probably done more sets but I had no time due to the bus. Though I would say I much rather want to exercise this little but do it almost every day than do it less but go heavy.

 

Fun things for today: I finally found how to put the books from my comp on my kindle app on my phone so now I have things to read while waiting - and relaxing. And I also managed to get my dutch braids to last on my hair - got the bright idea to spray hairspray before I did them, and my hair is finally long enough that the layers don't make them fall apart. Which meant my greasy hair didn't get in my face today.

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its always a huge victory to do some exercise when Life gets busy (and I've done the darebee stuff, too- its a Great daily challenge!)

Also getting past those anxious feeling is another Huge victory.  Woot!  

 

Dutch braids. those sound pretty!  I googled them and they Look SO complicated too!

 

you guys must all get the equivalent of an upper level Math course just to figure out Hair and Makeup.

---

btw,

I'm sure you've said it somewhere; but what are you studying? 

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4 hours ago, Salinger said:

Yay more reading :D what you reading at the moment ?Xx

 

I'm going through a really old series at the moment about old royalty and witch trials - one book left, and reading random books I have on my kindle - mostly indie fiction. 

 

1 hour ago, TGP said:

Dutch braids. those sound pretty!  I googled them and they Look SO complicated too!

 

you guys must all get the equivalent of an upper level Math course just to figure out Hair and Makeup.

 

They're just a french braid but you braid under instead of over. :D But yeah they look extremely complicated. It's all in the practise. 

 

2 hours ago, TGP said:

I'm sure you've said it somewhere; but what are you studying? 

 

I'm taking the exams I need to become a pharmaceutical technician - pharmacist basically.

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WEEK 4 - DAY 6

 

My lack of a sleep schedule has been the source of all my slacking these days. I won't fall asleep till like 7 am, then sleep till 2 or 4 pm and then not be able to fall asleep till 7 am because of it.

Because of this special brand of hell, I didn't exercise as much as I wanted to, though I did do 2 darebee dares so I'm proud of that. I didn't do any work but that's planned - I am gathering my strength. The curbing procrastination thing is working - I'm not really going to the site in question - gonna do this for all the sites eventually I think just for awareness.

The computer off at 10 pm goal has tanked because of the aforementioned sleep problem, but there aren't any dishes in the sink so yay.

 

I've also had a rather intense focus on reducing stress, so that might be another thing I am just aware of these days.

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That is very hard when your body gets confused about daytime / nighttime. Hope you can get back to a sleep schedule next week.

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16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

That is very hard when your body gets confused about daytime / nighttime. Hope you can get back to a sleep schedule next week.

 

Well I got up early-ish, but I am getting headaches again (probably cause the weather went spring on me, but it'll get cooler tomorrow again) so I went to bed at like 2pm.

 

WEEK 4 - DAY 7

 

Well, I did a HIIT that kicked my ass after only two sets (I've been tired anyway these days so it might have something to do with that too) and while I would've preferred for it to last longer so I could sweat it out a bit more(do you get a weird urge to do that sometimes?) but I can't move my legs well enough for another set - darebee's Super HIIT if anyone's interested. So that's awesome.

 

This challenge has been pretty chill for me? Like, I am meeting most of my goals, or at least the spirit of them, even if my updates have become erratic. So I'll definitely be back for another one.

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