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Casbin - You can do this for God's sake!


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Heyah,

 

I am Casbin a 32 year old folk from Germany.

I've been around here for some years now but it's mostly been a lot of hit and miss over and over again.

 

But it is time to pick the ball back up.

And my formost goal will be to actually finish this 4-Week-Challenge.

 

That being said let's have a look at the Goals I want to pick up at.

 

Fitness:        Do PT-Exercises, Strength-Exercises, some Yoga-Routine or a 30 Minute walk daily

Nutrition:     I want to keep this simple -> have one fruit a day.

LYL:              Do something relaxing like a 10 Minute meditation, autosuggestion, knitting, artsy or similar

                     on hindsight, reading in an actual book would be a good thing too

Life:              This is going to change weekly based on what is already a focal point in each week.

                      For 0 Week: figure out and send out all the paperwork necessary before hitting the road on Monday 18th

 

I will be away from home for the better part of this Challenge and the one there after but if I don't get back into doing this right effing now it's likely to take another year.

This is a big part why I will keep changing my Life Category goal from week to week as I keep figuring out what's to come and what my daily schedule will be like.

 

One more thing I am planning to do weekly statistics gunning for a C (75%) per Goal to call it a success.

But I would preferre to come back here and give a soft rundown on how things have been going regularly (daily would be the best case scenario)

 

Have fun with your Challenge and let's get to hit away at our goals!

Casbin

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1 hour ago, Casbin said:

And my formost goal will be to actually finish this 4-Week-Challenge.

 

 

I can very much empathize with this! I always start strong and then somewhere around the end of week 2 I just, stop doing all the things I should be doing.

Your goals sound great, and I love your idea of weekly statistics/going for a percentage rather then an all-or-nothing measure of success. Might have to incorporate that idea into this challenge for myself.

 

Good luck!

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Hej,

 

yeah it has been pretty much like that for quite a while now, week 3 is a beast to tame.

Part of it probably is the urge to keep adding more stuff and overachieving early on.

 

Today is a pretty good example...

I've set up this routine in the evening and yet I've done everything but the workouts.

And even that is only missing because I didn't realise that I need to change some pictures on the wall, rolling the the balanceball over a flipchart thats hanging on my wall really isn't a good idea.

But I'll just rearrange the position tomorrow and move the pictureframe to the left and it should work out fine.

 

Here is  to looking up a quick yoga routine and I should get a perfect score on bye-week day 1 xD

 

The scoring is pretty much going back to the basics, it's how it was supposed to work when I got here.

Though they planned on accepting a D for a pass.

Feel free to try it out, there are quite a few ideas going around and it's all about what works for you.

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Your not the only one who has a mid challenge slump. I may or may not do well at that point, and whats worse is that then I am afraid to come here and admit it.  Although at week 3 it could also be that you are seeing how things work and going "I can add more" when you need a bit more time with where you are now.

 

Looks like a good challenge and you already did great on day 0. Following to cheer you on

 

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Alright,

 

Hi Bean thanks for stopping bye ;)

 

I know that the Midchallenge-slump is quite real.

Personally it ends up being me remembering more things I should have put in the Challenge and just doing them quietly.

And then guilt strikes home as I didn't do the things I wanted to.

 

Today was quite interesting!

We've had workers all over the house.

There were 2 guys finishing the painjobs for the new windowsills.

Another two came in to check the gaspipes because neighbours had a leak last Saturday and the whole house had to be turned off.

(Good thing we got an e-stove and waterheater up here).

Gladly the heaters have warmwater based supply in this district.

I think a guy from the Electricity supplier and a woman from the appartment management were running around beehive style too.

 

Which means all bets were off.

BUT I did made it on time for all my appointments inbetween.

 

Challenge goals got checked by means of:

 

A Yoga-Video yesterday

Day 2 of the same today bc I actually enjoyed it.

Followed it up with light mobilisation for the lower back.

I've counted running through the mail and a first mental stock of what needs to get done for my life-goal Yesterday.

2 Apples cut up and mindlessly devoured sometime through the day ->  Fruits check

I had a nap because it was badly needed some time noonish which counts for Selfcare ( and I'm hoping to pick up my needles for an hour or too after this).

 

I actually got a physical list of things to do before I leave on Week 3

Already picked out about half the necessary documents for the trip

Found my old Resume and had it half updated before I realised what I was doing

Same goes for sorting above documents and checking if I got enough copies.

Folders are at the ready to sort away papers while I've got them in my hands.

Another 5 Prepthings done for lifegoal!

 

Oh and the redecoration to make room for running that balanceball up the wall happened too.

 

Good second day but pacing is still necessary!

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giphy-downsized.gif

 

Lol, sorry but it sums things up so well right now...

 

I'm still on a roll right now!

Some good Momentum got going and I've been at a fast pace (mix the Idea of "Starlight Express like Movement" and the Song "Let's Twist again" to have an idea).

Aaaand yet, I've still managed to pace myself! (End of selfpraise)

 

Tbh, it isn't a perfect score as I didn't manage to get my workout in but not doing it was a concious choice as was cancelling tonights social gathering to get a little rest in.

 

I crossed more things of my lifegoals ToDo list then I hoped for and practically found all bottlenecks to fix.

 

Now to making the statement above  a tiny bit easier to understand.

I've already mentioned that I will be leaving town on week 3, this is for a rehab in another state.

It took me more then a year to finally make this happen and it is a thrilling idea to finally be able to move forward.

Not that it's a perfect fit BUT at least they are giving me the chance to create an environment were I can test out the stuff I've learned over the course of last year and triplecheck the plan to finally reintegrate me into working after burnout/depression/toomanypeoplewithanopinion with yet another professional...

 

And of course, the bureaucratic side is a typical mess. The letter came in too late to actually get a trainticket via the insurance and they didn't include the form that should have been there. Which means I would have had to send in the form last friday for them to send me a train ticket on time.

Same with the insurance as they forgot the add for my prolonged payment while I'm in their care.

 

There still are a great many things to figure out before the end of this week and then figuring out what to bring for the 6-8 week stay in the middle of nowhere...

Yay for being conflicted about a lot of things BUT I am getting shit stuff done.

I am caring for myself and I've been enjoying to stop by here again.

 

Selfcare happening in 4 different ways

Fruits - done and restocked because I've been running low already xD

Application pics taken

Figured out that I will not have to get a room, if I take the train at 4 a.m. , to make it on time.

Resume had been found and I unearthed all the certificates and job gradings I'll need

 

I've been in constant movement for 12h straight either mentally or physically

Instead of making appointments things already got checked of

I should be able to make a less surprisebox like list to add here for measuring my lifegoal

Anyway  Selfcareroutine, knitting on my cousins babyblanket and autogenes training still happened.

I've had the awareness to cancel walking my former roommates dogs and made a good dinner instead.

 

The only soso-thing today is that I couldn't get myself back up once I'd settled down for food.

I believe that to be a good thing because I didn't force myself just because I said so.

But taking a look at the next few days and reflecting on it afterwards again should show if this was me procrastinating or rather being reasonable.

 

Just in case anyone might not have figured this one out, I tend to be wordy (like you could miss the regular wall of words...).

This is why I've started to keep pictures of creative side project I've ventured down to recently (That knitting WIP will get a pic soonish too).

Just to break things up a bit and make it easier on your eyes ;)
 

 

 

Ok, so I find myself unable to copy the picture without all the rara but gladly the account is for hosting stuff to share here anyway xD

 

Have a great day everyone!

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It honestly sounds like you are doing really well considering. You are in a tough place knowing your going to be gone for 6-8 weeks, but not knowing what you will need or how to handle it all.

 

Hopefully all your hard work right now will continue to pay off. I hope you got some rest last night.

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Thanks Bean, I really appreciate your words. 

 

I will make all this stuff a good thing and that's about it. 

The doubtful part of me might as well just stay quite. 

 

I've found  the first roadbump today and it was a good one. 

 

But I remembered to go and take a walk around our park for fitness before heading to my grocery store to prevent yesterday's hickup from happening again. 

Fruits have been had. 

As well as comfort knitting and a nap just because. 

Lifegoal actually went well too as I've been sorting papers while trying to have someone at the insurance pick up the phone. 

It took calling every half an hour till 3pm but eventually happened. 

 

But those missing forms are a serious concern. 

Apparently they can not be duplicated and the guys at the other end was adament that they must have been included. 

Here goes the concern, if I can not get my hands on those side, I simply won't have an income to pay my bills. 

 

Best case scenario would be that I messed up because that would mean that my legal representative for the case will have copies. 

Or I ended up leaving those with my former employer/family unplanned and forgot about it due to that. 

We will see, I won't be able to reach any of them before tomorrow anyway. 

 

The whole thing cut back on my productivity but I'm still in a good place. 

Off to fixing my mind on solutions again, see ya tomorrow. 

 

 

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On 2/6/2019 at 6:06 PM, Casbin said:

e 6-8 week stay in the middle of nowhere...

 

Sooo.. do tell.. where ya going?! Whatcha doing?!

 

also Casbin your inspire me to finish my challenge. I tend to fizzle our 2-3 weeks in.

 

If your here, it’ll only give me fuel to keep going! 

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Hey,

we are already headed into our first weekend of the challenge or break week  will end if you insist ;)

 

But first and formost *waves* @Butternut it's goog to see you!

You were the one that coincidentally brought my intention back here, I'd be more then happy if it would help you out, too!

 

My rehab finally got waved and I will be headed for Warstein soon which is kinda infamous for it's brewery but apparently doesn't even have it's own trainstation.

The good news is I'll get to do some supervised internships hopefully getting a good look at dieticians!

And have the space to do some fitness and creative stuff while I hang out in the complex.

 

About today:

 

All things are done!

 

I had my fruits for the extra vitamin & sugar

Took a little walk around the neibourhood and tried to make some progress with those forms while I was there.

Had yet another nap which admittedly is part of a coping strategy I apparently can't sub just yet.

But I also got a firm handle on all the report and other papers to the point were I can actually see my desk again.

 

And because I finally managed to reduce the necessary surface area of the desk there was room to roll out my exercise mat.

Dedication Day 3 happened as well!

 

Life wouldn't be interesting if there weren't some loose threads.

I got mail from my insurance who apparently cut down my timewindow to fix the mess with the retirement-insurance.

So, I will get to call them by monday as well as all the other people that might be able to fix the remaining bottlenecks, that is going to be one hell of a day.

This might sound offtune but somehow I am looking forward to the challenge and am determined to produce some solutions besides going through the non-journey related papers.

 

Just let me say this bit of a gratitude-log bc while I talk and think a lot about the things that need actions, there are a lot of great things, too.

 

As said above, I CAN SEE MY DESK AGAIN (sorry, but I could literally scream this out rn)

I really enjoy this Yoga-program as it's a lot of imagined locomotion to start a movement.

    this can sound quite strange but is helping me out to keep focusing on my body and breathing

Ever since day two I don't feel like a well prepared schnitzel -> muscles release loads of stowed stuff without making me want to curl up

The scale started to move again but ever so slightly as I don't push it

Thanks to her slight push I'll be seeing Morag tomorrow to do some leatherwork.

And I will probably finish my second pattern on that new project bc I enjoy the wool, the pattern and to make something for my older cousin and her new toddler.

 

All in all today was like a showcase of what life tends to be like.

Ideas are born while other ideas die and as is with nearly all the things.

I might not be as euphoric as the last few days but there are a lot of good things on the horizon and on my plate.

But most of all, it feels so great to do a "real" challenge again, rather then prioritising any thing else over the things that give me a feeling of moving forward.

 

 

 

Honestly, this is the picture hanging in front of my face right now and it's going along so well with what I wanted to express.

 

See you soon

Casbin

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Being able to see your desk again can be a HUGE thing. I rememeber for years my desk had this whole avalanche thing to it. As it is, Hubby's desk still does. Its so much nicer when you walk in and can go "look a clean spot" It is all about taking victories big and small.

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Wow, look at this it's sunday night already.

 

Before the week-summary I will have a quick rundown on the last two days.

 

Apparently the primal part of my brain was stressing out way more then I realised, at least the cold I'd been holding down came back with a vengeance through friday night.

Anyway I did yet another purge through documents and organised my drawing stuff while I was at it.

Meeting Morag felt great and we did made enough progress for her to test stuff out while I'm gone and got to chat for a while.

A bit of hanging out and watching a move acted as my off time.

Fruits are still going strongly but working out did not happen.

 

Today wasn't exactly great but I did get stuff done.

While I had to take a break and rest a couple of times throughout the day there is a matchplan for the packing stuff next week.

Which is to say that I actually estimated when to get laundry done for it to get dry on time for the next batch, when to get out the suitcase so it won't be in my way and all that kind of stupid details...

 

4 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Being able to see your desk again can be a HUGE thing. I rememeber for years my desk had this whole avalanche thing to it. As it is, Hubby's desk still does. Its so much nicer when you walk in and can go "look a clean spot" It is all about taking victories big and small.

 

Thanks, you are absolutely right, I even learned that my inbox is not the endless chasm I'd imagined, a bit of dusting tomorrow and the desk will actually be neat and everthing is in it's place.

The whole room feels different with just that bit.

 

Fruits happened and I managed to drag myself out for a 20 minute walk.

Foods in the oven which was a struggle that shouldn't happen.

 

In all honesty this is as much of a tight rope walk as I suspected just that it's starting way too early.

But I will make this work, hurdles are meant to be springboards, no?

 

Weekly raport:

 

Fitness      5/7 miss (I believe)

Nutrition   7/7

LYL             7/7 (today's up ahead)

Life            Uhm, I did good but there are quite some loose ends left to fix besides next weeks stuff

 

All in all it was a great start but I will need a sub for my fitnessgoal or maybe being a bit more lenient about my definition of a walk might do.

I'm fresh out of ideas rn, guess I'll be playing this one by ear.

 

Oh, right next weeks Life category will be about getting stuff set for traveling.

Solutions for the other stuff will have to happen on the side like some misc stuff I will write down soon.

 

See you tomorrow and have a great start into the official Challenge!

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19 hours ago, BardicGarlic said:

Cute arts!

 

I'm a big fan of arts, so please keep it going. 

Also, you are keeping it pretty consistent. 

 

Hej, thank you doing those things have become a good way for me to relax I vever considered before.

I really am doing this, aren't I? Here is to keeping the momentum going.

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What would life be like without a little thrill here and there?

Kinda boring, I suppose, but it's like an urban legend anyway.

 

Todays been going strongly, too.

 

I dare nor say that I made progress on last weeks spill over but I did what I can.

From here on out I need to stay patient and wait for the legal office to call me back, hopefully not last minute on Thursday night.

One success that happened was not to call more people who's support I'll need soon and annoying them with "if - then" inquiries that would have led to even more phonecalls with them.

 

Figured things out with the healthinsurance offices and finished stuff with the unemployment office.

To my utmost gratitude a polite, patiente and considerate person was on theire line and we figured things out without having to show up in person.

One less thing on my list that could possibly spell desaster and I don't have capacities to panic over possibly having to rely on them.

Pretty good for a few hours of work.

 

I managed to get a walk and drop of mail for my oldest friend that I'd been procrastinating real bad.

A walk in the park, less guilt AND I found evidence that the sun is not dead, I've seen her in the distance today.

Fruit's are fanishing at a visible rate and I will open this one up for vegies too as I need to finish my stash.

Besides, I picked of the workers and am kinda relieved that my roomies shouldn't be able to boycott the whole house if they don't manage to communicate with each other.

Weirdly, I apparently became the motherhen in our living quarters. I didn't realise but considering in what condition the appartment might be on my return, I can't deny it...

 

Packing is already in progress, I found a way to reduce my project picking and there is no need to constantly move the suitcase around.

Amusingly, all of this happened till noon and I had time to rest, recuperate and do something that made me feel good.

Or to put it differently, I can finally share that WIP I couldn't stop talking about.

 

 

See you

Casbin

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15 hours ago, Morag said:

Damn you are on a roll! I like it!

I made a challenge too, it's your fault. I blame you. :facepalm: :hug:

 

Huhu, I really could not stand not to wave back xD

 

I do feel good about it too and posting here helps with my own mindset.

 

Anyway, as has been said already, I strangle feel complimented.

I'll gladly take the blame, I can bear that if it helps to keep the stuff that will make you feel good about yourself on your plate.

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I will make this quick, just because...

 

Not my best day, low on energy and willpower I had to drag myself all the way to meet the minimum requirements.

And then, when I was done (and right when Morag showed up surprisingly), I realised a few flaws in my thought process.

 

I was mad at myself for having to drive myself for every nitbit thing.

I was frustrated that there was so little that got done today.

I refused to listen to my body and maybe consider to just stop, breath and try too move around the schedule in my head.

Because those min requirements was, be presentable, shrug of therapie without batting an eye, see all the people, finish all your Challenge goals, do something extra for LYL and life category.

And most of all "nope, you can't play sick right now."

 

That's kinda dumb tbh.

First of all it wouldn't be a challenge if I don't have to stretch out of my comfort zone.

Second, that cold is me getting a warning that I'm close to overdoing things

Third, after some breathing and rational scrutiny I am allowed to say that I'm not ON schedule but way ahead.

Finally, sometimes it can be the wiser choice to not do things now in order to have an easier time in the days to come.

 

All in all I can say:

 

All goals checked

Good things happening were a helpful conversation with that unemplayment office, good friends showing up on my doorstep just because they were close, realising that I most practically have a 3 day safety margin in place.

 

Finally one thing that feels very OOC to me:

I will call a restday tomorrow.

No pressure to work on my Challenge goals, the day will go unrated.

No running after people, organising stuff.

 

Just be there, try to allow yourself to rest and feel better and do things you enjoy.

In case I really can't help myself let me leave a MAX cap in place.

If I feel really driven it is ok to do one thing for every category that's not based on "I feel like doing this". No more.

 

So much for keeping this short but I suppose you got used to it if you got this far.

Have fun with your journey

I am quite curious about how this experiment will turn out to feel.

 

 

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Ok, this is probably going to be a rather long one.

 

If you are planning to read, I hope you are comfy, have some music.

 

 

17 hours ago, Butternut said:

Caspin! Keep it up man!  

 

Love the knitting project. 

 

Glad to hear you have friends that stop by.

 

All and all, sounds like things are sailing your way! 

 

Thank you, I love every bit of that blanket too, just everything there is involved and I'm happy for the compliment :angel:

Isn't it weird how good those spontanious moments feel, even if it's just a 5 Minute talk?

As of today, I've been sailing hard on the wind, the fun bit with leaning outside to hold things tight, as yesterday acted as a reagent I never expected.

 

6 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

You are doing great and while you had to drag yourself to meet the requirements. You did it. That is the important thing. You didn't say "Oh forget it" you made yourself do it, so good for you.

 

 

And most of all, thank you for the encouragement to both of you!

But, besides so many other things today, I am freaking proud of me because that scolding to my overachieving side was big news.

 

You see I've had a lot of things on my mind that I really wanted to share and all of them share kind of a Theme that can be boiled down to a single world.

EMPOWERMENT - it's one of my favorite words because of the sheer width of possibilities that come along with it.

 

I tend to talk a lot about how things happen or how they feel.

That's because I strongly believe in the concept of "detect, understand, change" and more often then not my stumbles lead me back to the realisation that I didn't understand HOW things influenced me.

 

That little bit of anger yesterday, or possibly it came across as whining, was BIG news but I wasn't sure about it, yet.

Today I can confidently say, right there at that point I realised that I was leaning back towards "the dark side" and just went - nope.

See, I tend to get overwhelmed, like a lot, which then leads to ignoring my own needs and subsequently towards isolation to recuperate.

 

But not this time!

It's not that I was mad at the energy it took to do my Challenge things but that I fully considered to have fail without a little bit of extra effort.

And hurried the whole prep thing to a point were I'd have finished everything by today just so that I didn't need to admit to myself that I was worried sick about that stupid form thing because it was widely out of my sphere of influence (yes I said was).

 

So in the first part I realised that I was going overboard and admitted that it was a necessity and I hope I find a release afterwards.

And then suddenly, the realisation that IT WAS NOT NECESSARY to push myself beyond my limits while sick. DA FU##

But it might have been the other side playing tricks on me, just that today I can confidently say it wasn't! :)

 

I did turn of my alarm last night to give my body the sleep it demands.

And damn, I feel so much better!

Before I knew it I had already started to sort clothes and packed the access in my suitcase just out of habit.

I've moved a whole lot slower from one thing to another, as in no rush.

But looking back, I did all my Challenge goals but the fruits just because I wanted to.

And had the time to socialise, look around on the way and other such things.

It's just one word that changed, from "I have to..." to "I'd like to..." but it made a world of a difference.

 

So, while I did take a few breaks when my body wanted a rest, yes physically not mentally, I feel way better, fitter even calmer.

I had a walk,  picked up a good healthy breakfast I had nearly forgotten about, did some packing, played with my knitting project and checked in with myself occasionally.

 

And throughout the day most of my urgent worries made popping sounds and imploded.

A letter from my accident partners car insurance that they wired the money (I was still waiting for the bill to ask for a refund there).

I took another calm look at the things that still need to be prepared and confirmed that I can finish everything in 2 days even if fever strikes again.

Made up my mind that it's ok to take my car rather then the train on monday, the extra bucks aren't as bad as I had thought bc I would have had to drive back on 2 weekends anyway.

And it is going to give me a whole lot more freedom to do things on the weekends.

 

And (this is my favorite) the law offices apprentice called me back in the pm.

Whenever I see her, she is really indecisive. Fullout - ask her boss if she can copy this letter - indecisive.

But guess what, this exact person considered what this situation would mean to me and went over her bosses head.

Or I should say she left a note stating what I asked about and to call me back by tonight, which she knew would be ignored.

She picked up the phone and calles my insurances office and as she couldn't get a hold on that woman either asked in their institutes name to be called back.

Which happened today and suddenly she realised that the forms really had been forgotten and send them out!

 

Seriously this kind of behaviour happened a few times in different situations just in this week and I am SUPER grateful for it.

And even more so because in this particular case it was pretty much an existential thing.

Bet on it, for those people, I made very sure to give them the feedback. Bc for the last 5 years, I've scarcly seen it.

Let me tell you, even though I was the one in favor but I could HEAR them smile through the phone and it was damn satifying to know that I gave someone else a slightly better tune for their day.

 

I keep talking about all the things around the challenge but not the actual habits themselves...

On the other hand it is related as in drive and change those small things do to enrich routines and gradually my lifestyle too.

It might be time to have a good look at what I want to talk about in here.

 

See you tomorrow

(I'm a bit too lazy to choose a pic)

 

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