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Elennare

Insert Training Montage Here, Part 1 [Elennare]

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Yesterday was...interesting.  I did great on my food for breakfast, lunch, and snack.  Dinner was dim sum, because I needed something I could eat quickly while getting ready for practice/take with me to eat on the way.  No where near a disaster, and I had some brussels sprouts, too, but, ya know, bread.  The reason I had very little time between work and practice was I had to go pick up Little Bug from school, because Husband lost track of time and didn't leave early enough to get him (in his defense, Little Bug has half days all week, so it was not the normal schedule).

 

Practice was fairly good, until it wasn't.  I was kind of tired (but when am I not, really?), and my stomach wasn't feeling so great.  I thought something I ate earlier in the day didn't agree with me, and since it seemed to have sorted itself out other than feeling slightly off, I went to practice.  The first half was drills, which went fine other than me getting tired faster than I expected.  Then we got to scrimmage.  Just before the end of the first half of it, I almost threw up.  Thought it was just because I was tired, because I had been working really hard, so I sat out for a bit.  After the break, I went back in, skated one jam, and realized that no, it wasn't the tired tired, but the I'm still a bit sick tired.  So I sat out for the last 15 minutes of practice. :(  I felt bad about that, because we were low on people, but I wasn't feeling good and there's no point to killing yourself at practice (an actual game is a different story).  On the up side, I feel like I'm learning a lot about how to jam for flat track and making actual progress in my skills.  And I got complemented on continuing to push even when I was gassed, so that was nice too!

 

My watch tells me I got 8.5 hours of sleep last night.  That may be the case (though personally, at the moment I think it's full of %$#!@), but I did not sleep well.  At all.  It (felt like) it took forever to fall asleep, and then I kept waking up.  Including at 1:51am, because there was a small earthquake (3.3, I think?), with the epicenter only a few miles away from us.  Felt like a giant shoved the bed, and the house made a "fwump" sound, similar to settling, but louder and the whole structure.  Husband slept through it, Little Bug briefly woke up and went right back to sleep, and I have no idea if it woke Little One up because I didn't get to ask him yet.  And then I woke up with a headache this morning, because I was apparently clenching my jaw after I got back to sleep after the earthquake.

 

Also, I have to give my brain credit.  I had a nightmare while I was in Seattle (can't remember if I mentioned that before or not) that involved being in an earthquake.  The "feeling" of that was EXACTLY what I woke up to with the real earthquake.  Go me? :P

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Ah, sorry you've been tired and aren't sleeping well! Good for you for passing on the treats you've been trying to avoid and making good food choices. :)

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18 hours ago, Elennare said:

Also, I have to give my brain credit.  I had a nightmare while I was in Seattle (can't remember if I mentioned that before or not) that involved being in an earthquake.  The "feeling" of that was EXACTLY what I woke up to with the real earthquake.  Go me? :P

 

You're learning to read the future, go you indeed. :) Glad you got some time on the track, even if it didn't help you feel better. 

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Week...3?  Day 2.

 

How is it week 3 already?  Or am I mixed up?  I honestly have no idea at the moment, and don't seem to have enough brain to figure it out, nor enough...something, to care currently. :P

 

I was super tired all day yesterday.  Until it was time to go to bed, of course.  Stupid society that doesn't accept my circadian rhythm.  It sucks.  I did manage to get my step goal, but I was too out of it to do anything else.  Ate fairly well, except for the onion rings at lunch.  Which were actually a good choice, because they almost made up for the terrible dry, bland salmon.  I should know better by now that the healthy stuff at the cafeteria is never tasty or well cooked. :(

 

I've been weighing myself about once a week this year, but haven't been reporting on it here.  Mostly because it keeps going up, and I am trying not to worry about the scale so much, especially since I'm (attempting to) focus on performance rather than appearance currently.  The last week or so, I've been feeling a bit blah and fat.  I know that last statement will make some people upset, because "fat isn't a feeling," except, my sense of my body has been that I am larger (probably through a combination of bloating and being discouraged/exhausted).  And then, this morning, the only pair of clean pants I could find was the pair that was too small when I bought it (yay online ordering...).  I was not looking forward to trying to squeeze into them, but didn't have much choice because if I didn't leave in the next 2 minutes Little Bug was going to be late for school.  So, I put them on, and they still fit!  I wouldn't say they went on "easy" (yet), but there was no squeezing involved.  And after wearing them for a little bit, they're actually comfortable.  Evidently, the scale and my stupid brain* are full of lies. :)  I really need to take some more progress pics and measurements.

 

*stupid brain is what Husband and I call the little voice in the back, or sometimes front, of your brain that tells you you're no good and all sorts of other nasty things to tear you down.

3 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

You're learning to read the future, go you indeed. :)

I certainly hope not, because my nightmare was a fairly significant earthquake and I ended up separated from the rest of my family and my inhaler while there was tsunami inbound!

 

Though, according to my mom, having dreams about disasters when under a lot of stress runs in my family.  At least through the women on her side.

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Week 3 day 4.

 

Got to bed about an hour late, but met my step goal and did a pilates video.  Even got Husband to do part of it with me, so that was nice.  Unfortunately, I also ate like a trash panda.  Well, progress, not perfection.  Moving on! :)

 

Went to a presentation at work yesterday about the career path I'd like to follow, and basically heard "there's no way you can do this in your current role, and as far as the sort of thing we're looking for in candidates, none of your almost 13 years of experience are worth anything."  So that kind of sucked.  And I am now going to be taking a serious look at getting my master's and trying much harder to get a job working on space stuff.  So there's that.

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1 minute ago, Elennare said:

Went to a presentation at work yesterday about the career path I'd like to follow, and basically heard "there's no way you can do this in your current role, and as far as the sort of thing we're looking for in candidates, none of your almost 13 years of experience are worth anything."  So that kind of sucked.  And I am now going to be taking a serious look at getting my master's and trying much harder to get a job working on space stuff.  So there's that.

Jeeeez. That's not a bummer at all. Is there someone you could talk to one-on-one about this rather than the overall presentation? I'd be surprised if NONE of your experience was relevant, no matter the field.

 

Aw, yay for pilates together. :) 

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2 hours ago, raptron said:

Jeeeez. That's not a bummer at all. Is there someone you could talk to one-on-one about this rather than the overall presentation? I'd be surprised if NONE of your experience was relevant, no matter the field.

Unfortunately, no.  What they specifically are looking for is innovation and technical contributions, which are measured by IP disclosures, patents, and publishing papers.  Nothing I've done before or am currently doing gave or will give me an opportunity to do that.  Further, they are looking for work history that had an impact beyond the group you work in.  Guess who never got opportunities to do that (and in some cases, I am all but certain actively excluded from potential opportunities)?  Yep, me.  I have, unfortunately, had several bad managers who have actively (if not intentionally) held me back in my career, which sucks.  They are looking for very specific things, and I just don't have them. :(  I'm still trying to figure out if the part that sucked the most was them effectively flat-out saying the role I currently have isn't eligible, or the first presenter (who started as a summer intern a year after I was hired and full time 2 years after I was hired - and you have to be a level higher than I currently am before you can even apply) saying he got handed the thing I want on a silver platter.  Like, that was his presentation.  "I got lucky and my career path just happened to be exactly what they want, and I had awesome mentors who made sure I did the right things to get it."  Blargh.

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On 3/1/2019 at 2:02 PM, Elennare said:

Unfortunately, no.  What they specifically are looking for is innovation and technical contributions, which are measured by IP disclosures, patents, and publishing papers.  Nothing I've done before or am currently doing gave or will give me an opportunity to do that.  Further, they are looking for work history that had an impact beyond the group you work in.  Guess who never got opportunities to do that (and in some cases, I am all but certain actively excluded from potential opportunities)?  Yep, me.  I have, unfortunately, had several bad managers who have actively (if not intentionally) held me back in my career, which sucks.  They are looking for very specific things, and I just don't have them. :(  I'm still trying to figure out if the part that sucked the most was them effectively flat-out saying the role I currently have isn't eligible, or the first presenter (who started as a summer intern a year after I was hired and full time 2 years after I was hired - and you have to be a level higher than I currently am before you can even apply) saying he got handed the thing I want on a silver platter.  Like, that was his presentation.  "I got lucky and my career path just happened to be exactly what they want, and I had awesome mentors who made sure I did the right things to get it."  Blargh.

 

Ugh, that sucks, I'm sorry. I've been fighting (slowly but determinedly) for a few years now to change my career and it does seem like some people just get lucky and others of us have to slog through all the tedium, muck, and as you're aware, active aggression toward progress. Hope things improve for you soon.

 

On a positive note, though, looks like you're getting a solid 2 out of 3 goals hit every day, and cool that Husband joined you in pilates. Did that feel like a one-off thing, or did he seem interested beyond that?

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On 3/2/2019 at 5:33 PM, Manarelle said:

 

Ugh, that sucks, I'm sorry. I've been fighting (slowly but determinedly) for a few years now to change my career and it does seem like some people just get lucky and others of us have to slog through all the tedium, muck, and as you're aware, active aggression toward progress. Hope things improve for you soon.

I actually really like my current job, and (finally) have a really good manager.  It's just, apparently, not conducive to my preferred career path, though it does have room for advancement.  It's far and away better than my previous position, so in that regard at least, things have improved significantly.

 

On 3/2/2019 at 5:33 PM, Manarelle said:

On a positive note, though, looks like you're getting a solid 2 out of 3 goals hit every day, and cool that Husband joined you in pilates. Did that feel like a one-off thing, or did he seem interested beyond that?

Yeah, all things considered, I'm doing a pretty good job on this challenge.  Lots of room for improvement still, but I am slowly making changes stick.  I think Husband joining me for pilates was part of his on-going sporadic interest in getting in shape.  I don't think he's going to be joining me regularly, yet, but hopefully if I keep asking it'll be more often than not.

 

Week 3 wrap up:

Had a fairly good weekend.  Last night I did not sleep well, but other than that I hit my sleep goal.  Friday night the boys and I stayed up to watch the SpaceX launch.  It was just before midnight for us.  Little Bug saw the whole thing, but Little One fell asleep shortly after liftoff. :)  Saturday I was supposed to be the coach for the new skaters, but none of them showed up, so I got to join the regular practice.  I was actually really happy about that, because it was focused on doing crossovers, and I learned some things and finally figured out how to do something I've been struggling with for a long time.  Now I just need to build up my endurance for doing it...  Sunday staying up late Friday night caught up with everyone, so we kind of just took it easy.  I did meet my step goal all 3 days, and my streak is now 62 days long and my goal is over 10k!

 

On to week 4! 

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Week 4 day 1.

 

I successfully avoided getting a donut and had a healthy breakfast.  Lunch wasn't too bad, either.  Dinner wasn't great, but it wasn't a disaster.  I was also dead tired all day long.  So I decided to not go to practice and get to bed earlier.  Did meet my step goal.  I'm still trying to figure out how my watch says I only got 7:50 of sleep, but I feel way more rested today, so there's that at least.

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On 3/4/2019 at 12:08 PM, Elennare said:

I actually really like my current job, and (finally) have a really good manager.  It's just, apparently, not conducive to my preferred career path, though it does have room for advancement.  It's far and away better than my previous position, so in that regard at least, things have improved significantly.

 

Fair enough. Are the current position/ advancement opportunities good enough to change the preferred career path? Glad to hear you're in a decent, if unplanned, place.

 

Sounds like you had a pretty solid week, too. Grats on the progress on skating, silver lining to no new skaters showing up for sure.

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23 hours ago, Elennare said:

Week 4 day 1.

 

I successfully avoided getting a donut and had a healthy breakfast.  Lunch wasn't too bad, either.  Dinner wasn't great, but it wasn't a disaster.  I was also dead tired all day long.  So I decided to not go to practice and get to bed earlier.  Did meet my step goal.  I'm still trying to figure out how my watch says I only got 7:50 of sleep, but I feel way more rested today, so there's that at least.

Hope you are more rested the rest of the week!

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2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

 

Fair enough. Are the current position/ advancement opportunities good enough to change the preferred career path? Glad to hear you're in a decent, if unplanned, place.

They could be, but will they?  Probably not.  And honestly, I took this position with the idea that it would broaden my skill set and make me look more hireable to the space program.  So it was always intended as a stepping stone to where I ultimately want to go.  I had just hoped that I'd also be able to start building my portfolio towards the technical career path (vs getting promoted into management...because yuck).

 

2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

Sounds like you had a pretty solid week, too. Grats on the progress on skating, silver lining to no new skaters showing up for sure.

 

4 minutes ago, raptron said:

Hope you are more rested the rest of the week!

Thanks! 

I am actually glad that no new skaters showed up, because I was really bummed I was going to miss the crossover class (they announced that's what it was about after I signed up to teach).  And I do seem to be getting caught up on sleep again.

 

Week 4 day 2!

Donuts for breakfast!  Because it was Fat Tuesday.  Otherwise I ate good.  Met my step goal and got enough sleep.  Didn't do any other exercise, because my parents are visiting and they arrived a bit after dinner so didn't have a chance to do anything.  Oh well.

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Week 4 Day 3.

 

So I gave up coffee for lent (which started yesterday) and had shark week start.  That was not a good combination, especially since Ash Wednesday is a fast day.  What I ate wasn't particularly healthy, but I didn't eat much and my brain needed the carbs.  Especially while dealing with lack-of-caffeine headache.  And then I got stuck at work until 6:30, so I didn't get to go to practice.  I had been hoping the skating rink would have had the fitness class and I could drag my mom to it with me, but they didn't have it last night.  At least I met my step goal.  And also watched a couple WWII pilot training videos, one on flak and one on the flight procedures for the B-29.  I have no idea how/why my dad found those on youtube, but they were really interesting!

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Week 4 day 4.

Not much to report.  Had to work late (planned this time, because apparently 5-7pm was the only available time to schedule the training class), so not a whole lot of time to do much.  Chugging along slowly.  Lack-of-caffeine headache went away around lunch, so that was good.  Got more sleep, because Little One didn't wake up a whole bunch of times to throw up/unable to breathe.  Hopefully he continues getting better quickly and no one else catches whatever he's got.

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Phew, fingers crossed the little one is on the mend! Sorry about the late work day, but it sounds like things are goin ok. :)

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On 3/7/2019 at 11:58 AM, Elennare said:

So I gave up coffee for lent (which started yesterday) and had shark week start.  That was not a good combination, especially since Ash Wednesday is a fast day. 

 

Ouch. When it rains, it pours. Sorry all that hit at once. Hopefully the weekend goes better for you. 

 

Overall, though, sounds like you make some solid progress on the challenge. I see lots of food tracked, sleep at least attempted (if affected by out-of-your-control factors), and steps met, not to mention skating improvements. How's it feel to you?

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On 3/9/2019 at 6:13 AM, Manarelle said:

 

Ouch. When it rains, it pours. Sorry all that hit at once. Hopefully the weekend goes better for you. 

 

Overall, though, sounds like you make some solid progress on the challenge. I see lots of food tracked, sleep at least attempted (if affected by out-of-your-control factors), and steps met, not to mention skating improvements. How's it feel to you?

 

I think things went pretty well.  Definitely room for improvement, but things are heading in the right way.  That said, the time change has thrown me for a loop and it may take all of zero week to get back on track.  I finished the challenge pretty well, though!  My parents ended up staying a day longer than they had originally planned, which complicated things slightly.  Practice on Saturday was good, right up until I got walloped in the head.  Had someone's elbow give my jaw a glancing hit and then bounce up into the side of my head.  Which hurt, even through the helmet.  It hurt enough that I decided to sit out for the rest of practice (the remaining half hour) because I didn't want to take chances.  And that helmet is done now.  I took it kind of easy the rest of the day.  Sunday the boys and I walked to get lunch at a place a mile away.

 

And, I had to go to a meeting in the middle of writing this update and have now completely lost my train of thought and can't remember anything else I was going to say.  So, I guess that's good enough?  On to the next challenge!

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Ouch, glad you were wearing a helmet, then, that sounds like not a fun hit. Are the helmets like bike/ motorcycle helmets, where one hit compromises the integrity for later? 

 

Grats on a solid challenge! I hear you on the time change being rough.  Hope things have settled out this week, and see you in the next one!

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2 hours ago, Manarelle said:

Ouch, glad you were wearing a helmet, then, that sounds like not a fun hit. Are the helmets like bike/ motorcycle helmets, where one hit compromises the integrity for later? 

 

Grats on a solid challenge! I hear you on the time change being rough.  Hope things have settled out this week, and see you in the next one!

 

Yeah, it would have sucked without a helmet!  A good skate helmet can last through a couple hits, but it depends on how hard of a hit it is.  I personally replace mine after 3 medium hits, or when they've just gotten knocked around and accumulated a bunch of small hits (this seems to be about once a year, barring any large hits).  Any helmet should be replaced after one hard hit.  This one didn't seem like it should have been that hard, but it hurt enough that I don't want to take the chance.  Helmets are cheap compared to a brain. :)

 

This week is not going as smoothly as I would like, but things are starting to even out.  So I think if nothing else, I'll be able to roll into the next challenge not careening out of control.

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3 hours ago, Elennare said:

This week is not going as smoothly as I would like, but things are starting to even out.  So I think if nothing else, I'll be able to roll into the next challenge not careening out of control.

 

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