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farflight

Farflight wants more...life...

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**Warning...severe introspection imminent**

Well...looking over this life I've really only been a warrior...well since I chose to be one...

 

There comes a time in every future warriors life where they say..."No more...no more victim...no more whining...no more...l am not going to lie down..."

 

For the majority of my life...I was blissfully unaware that I'd been living in a simulation...plugged into the matrix...and it just never felt right.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTm6H1uHJ9KfLAAV6m5Lmz

 

I did everything I could to, fit in, feel different, or be someone else...never being free or the person I wanted to be. Addiction, escape, unfulfilling relationships, damaged and unhealthy marriage, broken eating habits, and no self-worth...Then something clicked...something inside broke...and my eyes opened to a terrifying reality...

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...

No more victim...no more passivity...time to learn...time to fight for me...for once...

U80S.gif

 

3NDyIqy.gif

 

Goals

1) Keep focus on the gym, actually asked coach for "more" recently. I'm going to follow-up on the check my mouth decided to cash. 

2) Stick to budgeting goals and plans

3) Talk to coach about tightening up nutritional content

4) Keep spirits up through the grind

5) Stay in touch with fellow nerds

 

On a related note....

we_get_it.png

I guess co-workers were right...that I'm "a dateable item"

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21 hours ago, Grumble said:
Don't Worry, I'll Wait - Worry GIF - Worry KattWilliams DontWorryIllWait GIFs
 

Updated....hope you didn't miss any sleep in suspense...

 

21 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

Here you go:

 

heart.png

YEA PIECE OF HEART!

 

I guess I was imagining more like an expansion pack or sequal to a really good game...like homeworld (and cataclysm, and homeworld 2)...Like I've beaten the first installment of this game of life and learned the control scheme, basics of boss fights....now that the dirt is out of my eyes I can focus on the future story and content ahead...

 

Got the gym done this morning. Woke up hella late this morning (615 am...god when did that become late...). Thought for a couple minutes about moving gym to evening or just making it up tomorrow...but I adulted and went anyway, little late to work but forget it, I need that gym time (plus didn't have anything "mandatory" scheduled till 10, and my boss rocks). 

 

Supplemental goals/expansion pack goals

1exp) work on language. Slightly inspired by @spezzy's good place last challenge...I need to clean up language both online and HEAVILY in person. I can clean it up with I'm in meetings with parents of students, but tend to slack of around fellow professionals. I need to stop reduce that or just keep soap in my mouth the whole time

2exp) get more social with friends/family. Signed up to delete facebook account in january. Found out it takes them a freaking month to delete an account. Will be 're-rolling' my account in two weeks (seemed easier than pruning through all the bad history on there). Going to make a fresh account and join the NF group, and rebuild 'friends' with healthy people (e.g. most of y'all...probably...and family)

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3 minutes ago, farflight said:

Updated....hope you didn't miss any sleep in suspense...

Snorlax Pokemon GIF - Snorlax Pokemon Sleep GIFs
(actual footage of me losing sleep)
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19 minutes ago, farflight said:

Got the gym done this morning. Woke up hella late this morning (615 am...god when did that become late...). Thought for a couple minutes about moving gym to evening or just making it up tomorrow...but I adulted and went anyway

 

This is one of my biggest challenges, so I am always impressed when someone else beats this particularly insidious Procrastination attack.

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22 hours ago, farflight said:

Goals

1) Keep focus on the gym, actually asked coach for "more" recently. I'm going to follow-up on the check my mouth decided to cash. 

2) Stick to budgeting goals and plans

3) Talk to coach about tightening up nutritional content

4) Keep spirits up through the grind

5) Stay in touch with fellow nerds

 

Excellent goals. Got a plan for keeping your spirits up? 

Neato on finding someone. Enjoy! 

 

22 hours ago, farflight said:

**Warning...severe introspection imminent**

 

I did everything I could to, fit in, feel different, or be someone else...never being free or the person I wanted to be. Addiction, escape, unfulfilling relationships, damaged and unhealthy marriage, broken eating habits, and no self-worth...Then something clicked...something inside broke...and my eyes opened to a terrifying reality...

 

I can relate to this. Mostly the low self-worth, escapism and addictive behaviours. I'm now trying to build the life I actually want, but it's slow. Damned slow. I mean, gosh-darned slow. Ahem. I wish you great success.

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2 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

so I am always impressed when someone else beats this particularly insidious Procrastination attack.

Try this aura...

Thorns
Enemies take damage when they cause melee damage to party members.

Lore

An eye for an eye is sometimes not enough. Those who would strike the emissaries of the Light had best take warning, for retribution shall be swift and certain. The might of your blows shall be felt a hundred fold unto you! [1]

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

Got a plan for keeping your spirits up? 

For me, the best tends to be trying to stay objectively grounded in reality. 

 

I do this by staying outside of my head and thoughts. When interacting with others, I don't hypothesize WHY they behave a certain way...I just accept thats HOW they behaved. When I run into difficulty and need to figure things out, I utilize my soulstones to summon friends to aid with opinions, guidance, and support

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11 minutes ago, farflight said:

I do this by staying outside of my head and thoughts. When interacting with others, I don't hypothesize WHY they behave a certain way...I just accept thats HOW they behaved.

 

Huh. This could probably work well in any kind of situation. I'll have to think on this.

 

And I'm partial to the Armor of Agathys for situations like those. :)

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1 hour ago, scalyfreak said:

 

Huh. This could probably work well in any kind of situation. I'll have to think on this.

 

And I'm partial to the Armor of Agathys for situations like those. :)

 

What is this armour you speak of?

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26 minutes ago, Harriet said:

 

What is this armour you speak of?

 

It's a D&D 5th Edition warlock spell, 1st level. Caster gains a bit of health, and attackers take cold damage if they succeed in hitting you. You can cast the spell at higher levels for higher health gains and damage.

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Week 0, Friday

 

No gym today, nothing scheduled. Busy ascot workday.

 

So no real fitness report today, started a convo with coach about an exercise I'm unsure of given lower back health history. I've told myself, if coach says 'do it,' I do it until my body makes it clear to me that I shouldn't (i.e. near injury/pain).

 

As far as "enjoy life" / "keep spirits up"... having a guys movie night tonight at my house. Making pork carnitas tacos, refried beans (canned most likely), and some veggies.

 

All nerds welcome. Address is...56)( No$#% $##; B@#$$#@@, TN $%13%....

....

....

Stupid security features...won't let me type in my address! I guess I won't see yall! :-(

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So tacos happened this weekend....

image.png.378d017301e0fff6f92eaa9f0f627b45.png

 

and yes...they were delicious...

 

Week 1 workouts didn't start as I'd hoped, coupled with a carb overload brunch (read: cinnamon rolls, pigs in a blanket, egg casserole, french toast casserole, eggs Benedict, bacon) with family...it was deliciously shameful...so meal fail...then at least I'll get gym time in...it was deadlift day, my fav day. Ended up spending a nice left overs dinner with gf, by time dinner was had, gym had closed,

 

tenor.gif

 

so I walked the dog for 3 miles and called it a day.

 

So Week 1, day 1...pretty much a fail in my book, but I told coach about it, told y'all about it. I'm offsetting all my workouts this week by one day, with myself getting back on S/T/Tr lifting schedule next week (so this week is going M/W/F). 

 

I don't like schedule changes, but I'mma have to roll with this one. I did it to myself.

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2 hours ago, farflight said:

 

tenor.gif

 

I don't like schedule changes, but I'mma have to roll with this one. I did it to myself.

 

You'll be fine. Wednesday is an auspicious day for lifting, I assure you. 

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catch up session #1 completed...I MUCH prefer am sessions to pm! 

 

Been raining here all day so weight room was a brofest sauna. One thing that is fun to watch, 3 Highschool (guesstimate) bros walking around, I swear, in the time it took me to do warmups and figure 4 lifts, they'd done maybe 2 sets curls...must be nice to have so much time lol!

 

Managed to 'cash the check' today, did all the extra assigned tasks...I REALLY hope I can move my arms in the morning!

 

Peace in weight brothers...and sisters

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14 hours ago, farflight said:

3 Highschool (guesstimate) bros walking around, I swear, in the time it took me to do warmups and figure 4 lifts, they'd done maybe 2 sets curls...must be nice to have so much time lol!

 

If they go near your bench while you do chest press... RUN!!

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On 2/7/2019 at 8:47 AM, farflight said:

2exp) get more social with friends/family. Signed up to delete facebook account in january. Found out it takes them a freaking month to delete an account. Will be 're-rolling' my account in two weeks (seemed easier than pruning through all the bad history on there). Going to make a fresh account and join the NF group, and rebuild 'friends' with healthy people (e.g. most of y'all...probably...and family)

That is a fantastic supplemental goal. I've almost entirely stopped using my Facebook account, and it's amazing to me how infrequently I think about it compared to how much time I used to spend on it. I didn't know that they imposed a cooling off period now. I know a few years ago, they would show you pictures of your Facebook friends and say they were going to miss you.

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9 hours ago, kwesadilo said:

I know a few years ago, they would show you pictures of your Facebook friends and say they were going to miss you.

They still do that, which I found quite humorous..."all these people are going to miss you!"...

...

you mean those people that I haven't spoken with in 5+ years...and we only had a work friendship to begin with?....lol delete

 

I think I should be able to re-roll sometime next week. I'm really trying this whole, stay in contact thing, with folks...it's exhausting...

 

Update on supplemental goal #1) still using inappropriate language, but it 'feels' like I'm at least trying to reword things, at least in text based conversations. Cursing in verbal interchanges might take a little more time.

 

 

Important news...I CAN move my arms this morning...this was doubtful after last night, but YEA! Although, for the first time in awhile, I'm a tad sore from the workout...not quite DOMS level, but I can tell I did something yesterday...

 

Back to work!

DAF4B2.gif

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12 hours ago, farflight said:

catch up session #1 completed...I MUCH prefer am sessions to pm! 

 

 

Nice job following up on the missed session. The spirits of iron will surely be placated. 
 

1 hour ago, farflight said:

I think I should be able to re-roll sometime next week. I'm really trying this whole, stay in contact thing, with folks...it's exhausting...

 

Yeah... it's kinda easy when you're forced to be with people regularly, like at school or work. But "staying in touch" via social media or email or whatever is kinda awkward. I definitely let a few contacts drop in my early 20s because I felt too anxious and self-conscious to contact people without some good reason, especially if I hadn't spoken to them for a while. It's a pity. Right now I'm trying to just drop people a line every now and again, but my social anxiety doesn't like it at all.

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30 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Yeah... it's kinda easy when you're forced to be with people regularly, like at school or work. But "staying in touch" via social media or email or whatever is kinda awkward.

 

I find it especially difficult with people you used to meet regularly and then they move to another town or job. Because the more time passes, the less I seem to have in common with them. Which is stupid, because the job wasn't the reason I became friends with them, it was just how we met, but that doesn't stop the awkward feeling of not having anything to talk about anymore.

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23 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

 

I find it especially difficult with people you used to meet regularly and then they move to another town or job. Because the more time passes, the less I seem to have in common with them. Which is stupid, because the job wasn't the reason I became friends with them, it was just how we met, but that doesn't stop the awkward feeling of not having anything to talk about anymore.


Yes. And having a proper conversation via some messaging app? Not easy. I need to sit down with someone in a relaxed space and be able to see their face, in order to talk freely and respond intuitively. 

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26 minutes ago, Harriet said:


Yes. And having a proper conversation via some messaging app? Not easy. I need to sit down with someone in a relaxed space and be able to see their face, in order to talk freely and respond intuitively. 

 

To me that depends on how well I know the person. I have relaxed conversations with my siblings in messaging apps all the time. :)

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7 minutes ago, scalyfreak said:

 

To me that depends on how well I know the person. I have relaxed conversations with my siblings in messaging apps all the time. :)


Fair. I always have something to say to my bro. Like "what animal are you even lifting?" and "are we playing the video game today?"

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3 hours ago, farflight said:

Update on supplemental goal #1) still using inappropriate language, but it 'feels' like I'm at least trying to reword things, at least in text based conversations. Cursing in verbal interchanges might take a little more time.

This makes sense to me. I think it's easier to 'edit' what you type versus what you say. And like any other habit, it takes a bit of time to change.

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