• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Mistr

Mistr sets up the new Normal

Recommended Posts

Thank you @Kishi! I like the multiple levels of progression on bridges. The NF yoga series goes almost directly from the hip bridge (short bridge) to the full bridge (Wheel pose). I just push my hands against the ground and nothing happens. Working through easier stages should help.

 

Yesterday evening I cooked roast potatos (plain & sweet), microwaved some broccoli and packed lunches. I also did dishes and some knitting.

 

Elf continued our tag-team turkey project. I brined it on Sunday, Elf put it in the oven at midnight to bake overnight, I pulled it out Monday morning. Dumbledore put it in the mud room to chill away from the cats and pulled it out again when he got home. I thought Elf would do the carving but Dumbledore volunteered to do that. The turkey was falling off the bones so it was easy to take apart. Then Dumbledore went to his office to do work, leaving two heaping containers of turkey and a carcass on the kitchen counter. I guess that was being helpful?

 

I repacked the turkey so that it actually fit in the containers, labeled them, and put them in the fridge. I considered making stock and wisely put the carcass in a big freezer bag to deal with later. I cleaned the counter so the cats would not be hunting turkey scraps. I probably could have gotten Elf to step up and do it, but I don't think I would have been happy with the quality of the results. I am going to talk with Elf about making turkey gravy and mashed potatos or stuffing. Maybe other people will eat turkey sandwiches. I really need the gravy to make turkey edible. I have a great turkey gravy recipe from Cook's Illustrated. Unfortunately it requires a lot of time. I'm not doing that before the weekend, if at all. I'd rather chop up turkey and make some sort of casserole.

 

Dumbledore reiterated that he does not want to be asked to do any tasks around the house this week. I'll see what Elf is willing to do. I may be on my own until next week. At least we have plenty of food ready to grab and go.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Mistr said:

Dumbledore reiterated that he does not want to be asked to do any tasks around the house this week.

 

Cute. In that case, if something comes up that you can't do, tell him that if you don't do it, it won't get done. If he wants to live with that, then he can.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Kishi said:

 

Cute. In that case, if something comes up that you can't do, tell him that if you don't do it, it won't get done. If he wants to live with that, then he can.

 

He will be out of town at a gaming convention this weekend. Right now he is so worried about getting his materials together that anything else is background noise. He was having a full scale anxiety attack about it last night. I did my best to talk him down, he walked on the treadmill for a while and did some stuff. Including washing several loads of laundry. He said he was feeling better by the time he came to bed.

 

Elf said that they wanted to make mashed potatos to go with the turkey. They also agreed to put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher. There is nothing that really has to get done right away. This weekend will be fine to tackle the bad spots in the kitchen and bathroom. I would like to do a complete reorganization of the bathroom closet. I'm sure there is stuff in the back that has not seen the light of day since we moved into the house. I think I can get Elf to help with that project.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Mistr said:

He will be out of town at a gaming convention this weekend. Right now he is so worried about getting his materials together that anything else is background noise. He was having a full scale anxiety attack about it last night. I did my best to talk him down, he walked on the treadmill for a while and did some stuff. Including washing several loads of laundry. He said he was feeling better by the time he came to bed.

 

Ah. So he has the Brain Weasels, then. Come to think of it, I should have remembered; this has come up before. I dunno. I just hurt for you since I see how hard you're working to keep your stuff going, and how little help you seem to get with that, and I get exasperated/angry out of a sense of concern for you.

 

Well. I still hope that everything works itself out. If the 'important/urgent' square of things is clear, then hopefully it'll just be projects and such that can be done at leisure.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/26/2019 at 12:25 PM, Mistr said:

She said that it is more important to get my glutes to engage than to go really deep. She recommended keeping my feet at shoulder width with only a little turn out. Focus on keeping my chest up and notice when my tailbone starts to tuck down - that is too far. Apparently I am having a common problem of my glutes being lazy and getting my other muscles to do the work.

 

I think this is one of the issues with my tight quads. I need advice on making this less the case. Have you been working on this? Bridging buddies?

 

I've opened your links to read later, and also need to get back to my vitamin C and D intake, so you're giving me a good reminder.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Ah. So he has the Brain Weasels, then. Come to think of it, I should have remembered; this has come up before. I dunno. I just hurt for you since I see how hard you're working to keep your stuff going, and how little help you seem to get with that, and I get exasperated/angry out of a sense of concern for you. 

 

This. I get the brain weasels, so it's really not fair to go, "so the priorities are gaming convention first, years of putting a disproportionate domestic burden on family second". Brain weasels are gonna do their thing. But it's also really hard not to go, "look, when things have settled down, let's have a calm talk about rational reality checks about priorities". (And it's not that I still don't get it. A big event is always going to seem like a bigger deal than one week of chores. But the actual problem is "years of putting a disproportionate domestic burden on family".)

 

Being in science and a little passive aggressive this way, I'd start tallying "invisible labor hours", and "invisible labor tasks" every time I did a chore not on my list or on someone else's list, and then just be like, "This week I did three hours of domestic labor on my list, and four hours of invisible domestic labor, including two of Elf's chores and three things that weren't on the list. And you? Great, now we can calculate this week's 'tool of the patriarchy' score to determine how badly the patriarchy screwed me and, with your complicity, benefited you this week."

 

I'm a delight at parties.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, sarakingdom said:

This. I get the brain weasels, so it's really not fair to go, "so the priorities are gaming convention first, years of putting a disproportionate domestic burden on family second". Brain weasels are gonna do their thing. But it's also really hard not to go, "look, when things have settled down, let's have a calm talk about rational reality checks about priorities". (And it's not that I still don't get it. A big event is always going to seem like a bigger deal than one week of chores. But the actual problem is "years of putting a disproportionate domestic burden on family".)

 

Being in science and a little passive aggressive this way, I'd start tallying "invisible labor hours", and "invisible labor tasks" every time I did a chore not on my list or on someone else's list, and then just be like, "This week I did three hours of domestic labor on my list, and four hours of invisible domestic labor, including two of Elf's chores and three things that weren't on the list. And you? Great, now we can calculate this week's 'tool of the patriarchy' score to determine how badly the patriarchy screwed me and, with your complicity, benefited you this week."

 

I'm a delight at parties.

 

Oh yes, you are dead on target. The ironic part is that Dumbledore is fully aware of the issue of invisible labor. He teaches undergrads about it. I think we have a classic case of cobbler's kids have no shoes.

 

Keeping a tally would only make things harder to resolve. I know, I used to do that and Dumbledore is still paranoid about me doing it. That is one of the reasons that having Elf in the household makes a big difference. Dumbledore can do mental gymnastics to be unfair to me, but not with Elf. And I can play the "help Elf learn the tasks of responsible adulthood" card. On the flip side, I can ask Elf to help get Dumbledore on board with a household plan. Leverage applied on both sides.

 

For now my plan is to be choosy about what I do. There are some things I really need to get done, and other things that will make me feel better. Last night I took a break and started spinning some of my new dyed silk. It only took about 20 minutes and made me feel MUCH better.

 

I'm going to aikido tonight and don't have to teach the Wednesday class for the first time in a month. Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's dojo where there will be a visiting sensei. I'll go to Saturday class for sure and possibly open mat on Sunday. That should be enough throwing my friends around to keep me sane.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not going to quote all of them but am SO glad I am not the only one that sees the disproportionate labor splits...I sympathize with your struggle to get others to do their fair share :( 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Challenge Wrap-up

 

How did I do?

 

Foundations to maintain:  Success! I did all of these fairly consistently. I had some decaf and hot chocolate and missed a few days. Good overall.

  • Exercise routine of lifting Tues/Fri, aikido study Mon/Wed, Thursday open for yoga or make-up lifting, core yoga on weekend days when I don't do aikido.
  • Aikido 2-3 days a week
  • Drink tea instead of coffee or hot chocolate. I stocked up on Peppermint Bark tea when it was in the stores for a week this past December.
  • Batch cook protein and veggies. My family is on board with this now.
  • Prep clothes and food early in the evening so I can get to bed earlier.

 

Life improvements: The first three went well. I did a lot more spinning and knitting and that made me happy. I managed stress a lot better. I have sitting zen as part of my morning routine now. I am not nearly up to every day, but 20 minutes more than half the days is a big improvement. 

  • Do fiber arts instead of playing games on my phone. Ten minutes of spinning is enough to make me feel like I've accomplished something.
  • Sit zen in the morning. My track record for actually making time later in the day is dismal. Mornings work well.
  • Cycle through different kinds of tasks to feel progress and manage stress. Some things are really urgent, other just bug me. Rotate recurring cooking/cleaning chores with things that stay done and actual creative project and reading.

These last two did not happen. I gave up on the white sugar/flour restriction in the first week and did not pick it up again. My weight is 0.6 pounds higher than it was at the beginning of the challenge. I did silk reeling a few days at the beginning of the challenge and then just dropped it. No motivation. Maybe next challenge. 

  • Minimize white sugar and white flour. Part of me wants to cut these out until I'm back to my target weight range. Another part of me rebels and wants to eat all the sweets. Remember that I can't snack when my hands are full of yarn.
  • Add 5 minutes a day of silk reeling to my routine. Right before bed might be a good time.

Task list: Many things done

- Take my summer clothes to the attic. I know I will need them in March. It is still worth it to put the bins away for a month.

- Organize my sweaters in the closet

- Drop off the dry cleaning

- Finish filing the 2018 HSA reimbursements

- Put together a file of tax info

- Find missing tax info - one piece still missing

- Do the damn budget analysis

- Take the ice cream maker to the attic

- Clean the corners of the floor in the bathroom (technically Elf's job, but I want it done so I can put down a clean rug and have warm feet in the morning)

- Scrub the bathtub (Elf and I traded for this one)

- Mend exercise leggings

- Finish turning the heel on my sock

- Pack up my nylons and repurpose that drawer

- Deal with the stacks of stuff by my desk. Points for each stack removed.

- Find a drop spindle I can use for spinning silk. I can buy a new one if I get five tasks on this list done.

 

The last two are close but not quite done. I made the samples of 2-ply and 3-ply yarn. The singles are coming along well. Another couple weeks of work, less if I keep at it.

- Finish spinning fine wool singles for my friend.  

- Send her samples of 2-ply and 3-ply to see how she wants it finished.

 

Having the list helped me focus on getting done things that I had previously identified as important. I got other stuff done too. This weekend I moved all the stuff off the bathroom counter and two shelves of the bathroom closet. I scrubbed the counter (boy did it need it!) and cleaned the shelves. Elf and I sorted the stuff and put back things we thought were still good. Including the old-fashioned red hot water bottle. I think it is probably a costume prop, but in theory it could be used. There was not as much expired stuff as I expected. I knew we overbought on fish oil capsules. There are three big bottles from a sale several years ago - all past their use-by date. Even if they are still good now, I don't think we would use them soon enough to be worth keeping.

 

The counter and closet look much better. Bonus - Elf knows what we have and where it is. They put most of the things back in the closet. Dumbledore will have to search because he wasn't home to participate. I think he will figure it out. I also need his imput on some things that he might want to keep.

 

The fitness side of my challenge is going okay. I miss my previous routine. I haven't quite worked out what I want to do which days with no aikido at lunch. By the time I come up with a new routine, my training partner will be recovered and I'll have to change it again. At least I feel good about all the exercises I'm doing now.

 

I think I'm on the right track. Onwards to the next challenge!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.