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ladyofthebog

LadyoftheBog is Faceless (Wo)man While Also Channeling Inara Serra

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*So, before we begin:

this title is kind of a misnomer as I am not planning on becoming an assassin for the Many-faced God in Westeros. Nope, staying staunchly ranger/druid hybrid over here. I, have, however been thinking a lot about identity, personality, and self. Particularly, I've been thinking and feeling hard on the concept of what lies below the self and how projections of personality relate or do not relate to that foundational self. I've spent a lot of time with dead and dying people over the past years and I've got a lot of wisdom locked up in my psyche to process.

  Questions I've been grappling with:

           1) What roles do I identify with and how do these roles combine to conceptualize a theory of self and personality?

           2) What are ways (short of like, a wild mushroom trip in the desert) to shed those conceptions of self?

                      a) are there ceremonies for such a thing? where there once? can we make new ones?

                      b) how long can we live in this liminal space

           3) What is left behind? how do we reintegrate?

 

I like to think big :p.

giphy.gif

 

Plus, I've been thinking about my workouts as more functional lately. Rather than just seeing how much I could lift or considering aesthetics as I have done in the past, I've been thinking about what I could do with the strength, moves I am practicing while I am doing it. This is kind of embarrassing but I'll even imagine fantastical scenarios in my head while I am doing a certain exercises! Being a faceless woman assassin seems like an appropriate role for that.

 

The other stuff I want to do that doesns't really fit in with the faceless man motif is r/t getting into the body and celebrating it like the temple that it is. I'm a pretty sensual, feminine person and I want to make a point of living deliciously.  My spirit animal will be Inara Serra from Firefly and whomever strikes my fancy. My last challenges have all been Hobbit related which is great because HOBBITS but I'd like to make a point of expressing my more refined self as well!

giphy.gif

 

Logistics of challenge:

* WISDOM: Explore the dynamics of the many-faced (wo)man by journaling and listening to Alan Watts/Ram Das lectures.

 

* DEXTERITY/STRENGTH: 6 workouts/week. Track weights. Yoga x 3 week

 

* CHARISMA: Do something purely sensual for sensuality's sake every damn day; share music on this piece

 

Cheers, y'all!

xxoo

Sophie

 

 

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11 minutes ago, ladyofthebog said:

This is kind of embarrassing but I'll even imagine fantastical scenarios in my head while I am doing a certain exercises! Being a faceless woman assassin seems like an a

You realize this is NERD fitness  right? I bet if we took a poll, the majority would say they do the same thing. :smile-new:

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On 2/8/2019 at 6:02 PM, Elastigirl said:

I bet if we took a poll, the majority would say they do the same thing. :smile-new:

Can confirm, definitely do that. Also listening to epic music (or music that reminds me of Tony Stark, variable by mood) to really stay in that headspace when distracted by "oww pushups".

 

On 2/8/2019 at 5:48 PM, ladyofthebog said:

Particularly, I've been thinking and feeling hard on the concept of what lies below the self and how projections of personality relate or do not relate to that foundational self.

Gosh, same. Those are some good questions you've pulled out of your ponderings. I've been reading "You Are a Badass" and the ideas about construction of self have been really interesting. I'm super excited about your challenge and look forward to hearing your conclusions. (Conclusions is kind of a misnomer, though, right? If we're living mindfully and always growing and learning, do we ever fully conclude?) Quest on, you awesome human!

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Week 1: It Begins

 I worked out at night yesterday which I just loathe. Still made it through and woke up this morning feeling tight all over and not in a good, "hey, how grand! I worked out my body so well yesterday" but the "I am too little butter spread over too much bread" kind of way. Still stoked I convinced myself to do it and on track to have hit my 6 workouts/week goal. It's going on 5 weeks now that I've hit the 6x/week and I'm really feeling good for it.

 

I think the general malaise may be because the tiny munchkin woke up at 450 am yesterday and 530 am today. Given, she does sleep through the night and goes to bed at dusk basically but, man, these are too early of hours for me to maintain!

IMG_0564.thumb.JPG.805f91a87fb38d140cdc08e1bee97679.JPG *photographic evidence of working out when the sun has gone down; doesn't really capture how drenched i am with sweat

 

So, living in a tiny house we don't have a pantry. Still, liking this solution fine:

IMG_0376.JPG.e9250153733c2092c01e5da9bfc44a06.JPG

* also on diet related stuff: I MADE DELICIOUS VEGAN PHO. I am constantly on the search for vegetarian pho (yeah, I get that pho is technically beef broth) and haven't found something that either 1) is probably actually beef broth with tofu 2) isn't very far from me. I AM SO HAPPY about this self sufficient pho development.

Started this book and just wild about it so far:

57162665104__4AD382BA-CCBB-49DF-A3E2-47777CE68953.JPG.93cdd847e4815a471864fc6da8417a90.JPG

This isn't a very coherent update on this quest but what can I say: sleep deprivation. Will update on quest's parameters at week's end!

 

 

On 2/8/2019 at 3:02 PM, Elastigirl said:

You realize this is NERD fitness  right? I bet if we took a poll, the majority would say they do the same thing. :smile-new:

I especially like to imagine sneaking about when doing spider push ups.

On 2/8/2019 at 3:58 PM, Thom Stépan said:

Alan Watts, awesome.

Understanding who you are is a fascinating journey. Possibly the only journey truly worth undertaking.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk
 

true dat.

On 2/11/2019 at 10:52 AM, Kharissandra said:

Can confirm, definitely do that. Also listening to epic music (or music that reminds me of Tony Stark, variable by mood) to really stay in that headspace when distracted by "oww pushups".

 

Gosh, same. Those are some good questions you've pulled out of your ponderings. I've been reading "You Are a Badass" and the ideas about construction of self have been really interesting. I'm super excited about your challenge and look forward to hearing your conclusions. (Conclusions is kind of a misnomer, though, right? If we're living mindfully and always growing and learning, do we ever fully conclude?) Quest on, you awesome human!

yes on epic music! i like to listen to viking chants sometimes. i have read the badass book! it was awhile ago when it first came back but i remember it as charming! i'll share philosophy lectures as i listen to them and we can nerd out on them! yes, i agree about conclusions- you never step into the same river twice! i remember reading heraclitus back in the day and really liking that idea.

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5 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

I MADE DELICIOUS VEGAN PHO

I'm gonna need that recipe, please. Homemade vegan pho seems like everything I need in my life. 

 

5 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

I worked out at night yesterday

Good job getting 'er done! :D Yes it sucked, but look at you goooooo

 

Your pantry is adorbable! I love it. And good on you for the recycling pile! No judgements here. 

5 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

you never step into the same river twice

Ooh yes, I also like this. Looking forward to nerding out with you! :D

 

In other words...WOOT! :D

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On 2/8/2019 at 2:48 PM, ladyofthebog said:

Plus, I've been thinking about my workouts as more functional lately. Rather than just seeing how much I could lift or considering aesthetics as I have done in the past, I've been thinking about what I could do with the strength, moves I am practicing while I am doing it. This is kind of embarrassing but I'll even imagine fantastical scenarios in my head while I am doing a certain exercises! Being a faceless woman assassin seems like an appropriate role for that.

As said above, sounds like a normal imagination. I'll admit I've done it too. Not just fantasy but I imagine real life too; During 1-arm dumbbell rows I've imagined taking someone’s arm and helping them on top of a wall during an obstacle course. During squats I've imagined bosting someone big on my shoulders up to a ledge and right now my heart beats harder thinking about the times in real life I actually did and they were 2x my weight. Its like an action movie in my head and I'm the thankless grunt carrying on as I always do.

I've also had the opposite, back when my life became very simple for 6 months my day consisted of 2hrs gym time EVEY DAY. My next push to my next goal came on my mind more and more. With a base powerlifting comp coming up I was thinking about attempting a 315lb squat. Going through the motions in my head I suddenly noticed that I began to Valsalva (breathing technique to support the core) when I relaxed my breath I realized my back, core, glutes, quads etc. were all flexed as if ready to perform the rep... Only I wasn’t anywhere near the gym or doing anything strenuous.

Good on you for your night gym time, I know its breaking from your comfort zone but it keept you on track with your workouts! I need to stop making excuses: "It isn't my ideal gym time/place/crowded" is something I say to myslef all too much.

If you manage to link all your exercises into a full length adventure story (Like Princess Bride) I'm sure we'd be interested to read it. Hmm maybe bench press is pushing away the rodent of unusual size in the fire swamps...

 

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Kids and lack of sleep go hand in hand. Even though for the past year I have only had one fulltime lack of sleep still occurs on weekends.

Way to go on the workout consistency.

Vegan food is cool.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

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Well, fatigue does make cowards of us all. But look at you, still showing up and getting it done despite. Kudos to you for that!

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Salutations:

On 2/12/2019 at 6:35 PM, Kharissandra said:

I'm gonna need that recipe, please. Homemade vegan pho seems like everything I need in my life. 

 

Good job getting 'er done! :D Yes it sucked, but look at you goooooo

 

Your pantry is adorbable! I love it. And good on you for the recycling pile! No judgements here. 

Ooh yes, I also like this. Looking forward to nerding out with you! :D

 

In other words...WOOT! :D

i'll send over! do you have an instapot perchance? If not, no biggie as I changed up the recipe I used to do it with the instapot! Tonight I made golden lentil soup (fancy words for tumeric lentils) which is a recipes I adore too. I can send that along too if you are curious!

On 2/12/2019 at 10:06 PM, "Jake" said:

As said above, sounds like a normal imagination. I'll admit I've done it too. Not just fantasy but I imagine real life too; During 1-arm dumbbell rows I've imagined taking someone’s arm and helping them on top of a wall during an obstacle course. During squats I've imagined bosting someone big on my shoulders up to a ledge and right now my heart beats harder thinking about the times in real life I actually did and they were 2x my weight. Its like an action movie in my head and I'm the thankless grunt carrying on as I always do.

I've also had the opposite, back when my life became very simple for 6 months my day consisted of 2hrs gym time EVEY DAY. My next push to my next goal came on my mind more and more. With a base powerlifting comp coming up I was thinking about attempting a 315lb squat. Going through the motions in my head I suddenly noticed that I began to Valsalva (breathing technique to support the core) when I relaxed my breath I realized my back, core, glutes, quads etc. were all flexed as if ready to perform the rep... Only I wasn’t anywhere near the gym or doing anything strenuous.

Good on you for your night gym time, I know its breaking from your comfort zone but it keept you on track with your workouts! I need to stop making excuses: "It isn't my ideal gym time/place/crowded" is something I say to myslef all too much.

If you manage to link all your exercises into a full length adventure story (Like Princess Bride) I'm sure we'd be interested to read it. Hmm maybe bench press is pushing away the rodent of unusual size in the fire swamps...

 

i have for sure thought about wrecking people's shiz before while lifting weights. Also, when running? I'm glad to know I'm not alone and I would love to read a thread of what people imagine while working out! Mind is a powerful ally for sure. DUDE, that would be awesome to link my workout into some kind of narrative. You know, funny you should mention Princess Bride, I was contemplating crafting this here thread for a Princess Bride themed challenge!

 

On 2/14/2019 at 3:16 AM, Thom Stépan said:

Kids and lack of sleep go hand in hand. Even though for the past year I have only had one fulltime lack of sleep still occurs on weekends.

Way to go on the workout consistency.

Vegan food is cool.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk
 

the child slept until 6 am this morning! I feel grand! Children, consumers of sleep. Right now, the little Rowboat is napping away peacefully. I even want to go peek in and watch her sleep but best not to wake her...

I'm not technically a vegan- I recently stopped dairy because I am convinced it doesn't do my GI any favors. I've been a vegetarian/pescaterian for a very long time. I figure I don't eat anything I couldn't kill? I don't mind going fishing so I'll eat fish! Plus, it's so very healthy... I'm convinced it is partly why my Filipino side of the family lives such long healthy lives? I mean, a lot of confounding factors but the healthy diet of fish and veg couldn't hurt either. Anyways, this is a ramble to say that cooking vegan food is VERY fun because you have to get creative. Hope you are well!

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Mid--Week Update::

* WISDOM: Explore the dynamics of the many-faced (wo)man by journaling and listening to Alan Watts/Ram Dass lectures.

This is one of my favorite Ram Dass' lectures. I listened to it again this week while puttering around the house. When I think about how this man has changed my life, I think about the whole web of causes and reactions. I think about how we are related in large and small ways. I *try* to go out of my way to be kind to  people I meet because I believe that we are all living in one big lake. Our actions disturb the surface building together and making waves. Those waves can be forces for good or for suffering but the point is that one action leads to another and another, so intertwined that we can't see the pattern of it. Some small kindness can avert a disaster or save a life somewhere down the line. Anyway, when I think about Ram Dass and what he has done for me (or anyone I've learned so much from) I think about waves and how all can live that way.

10:10 onward is good. (the myth of success; joy is not a checklist)

* DEXTERITY/STRENGTH: 6 workouts/week. Track weights. Yoga x 3 week

HEY! On track this week to finish strong with 6 workouts. Only clocked in yogax2 and once was with my daughter and a weiner dog puppy literally climbing all over me but it happened.

* CHARISMA: Do something purely sensual for sensuality's sake every damn day; share music on this piece

M: massage for Dr L (what I've decided to call my husband on here. Not terribly creative but...) The key to doing something nice for my husband is not to ask him! Is this a dude thing?? He'll never say yes to something for himself if I ask him- I just have to do it!

T: shower after working out (ahem, I workout just about everyday in the middle of the day. This means I spend half the day a sweaty mess usually. Begone with that!) and using lovely shower products that have been moldering in the back of our cabinets.

bath

W: Nighttime routine down. I've been practicing abhyanga (fancy way of saying oil self massage), doing a face care routine- including retinol which I recommend to anyone above thirty tbh, hand cream, a lavender salve I made, and putting on some essential oils into the diffuser. I love nighttime after the chick has gone to sleep. It's the only time all day that is wholly mine.

Th: took a bath (admittedly with my daughter because, that's the reality) in the middle of the day. My legs are now shaved and I love the feeling of rubbing them together.

 

Thank you all for keeping up!

 

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I don't have an instapot, but Yes please to recipes! :D Good job on the nighttime routine; it sounds lovely :D Also on the workouts (yoga with a small pupper climbing all over me is the first kind of yoga I might actually get into long-term XD).

20 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

Some small kindness can avert a disaster or save a life somewhere down the line.

That's deep (lol was not trying to make water puns, but here they are anyway XD). 

 

Sounds like you're kicking major butt so far! :D Let us know what kind of support you need! (And in the meantime, here is a cute picture). CatnDoggo.png.d88fecb36b859eae0773278b7bc31daa.png

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The whole web of causes and effects that you are describing is what I know as the Web of Wyrd.

This is from Anglo-Saxon paganism. Probably the most easily to understand works on this concept is Brian Bates' books 'The Real Middle Earth' and 'The Wisdom of Wyrd'.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

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On 2/12/2019 at 9:40 PM, ladyofthebog said:

This isn't a very coherent update on this quest

 

Those are my favorite!

 

Somhow they seem more true...

 

On 2/12/2019 at 9:40 PM, ladyofthebog said:

yes on epic music!

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor check gif

 

On 2/12/2019 at 9:40 PM, ladyofthebog said:

i like to listen to viking chants sometimes.

Afbeeldingsresultaat voor check gif

 

On 2/15/2019 at 10:54 PM, ladyofthebog said:

Is this a dude thing??

yes

 

 

Good to see you are soldiering on, you got a pretty rigid system in place, just make sure to enjoy all the things you are setting out to do!

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End of Week: In Which All Goes to Shit and I AM VERY HONEST ABOUT IT INTERNET

  I feel like there is going to be a lot of shit in this post. Is cursing kosher here? WELL THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF SCATALOGICAL LANGUAGE here because omg. 

giphy.gif

So, on Saturday the 6th workout/week did not transpire because directly following some *ahem* quality time knowing Dr L (thank you, child nap) we get a call from in-laws that my husband's mother has fallen down the stairs. We live pretty close so I zipped right over. My MIL is young, she was a teen parent, but, unfortunately, a large woman so we ended up having to call the fire departments and paramedics to get her out to what ended up being an ambulance. I spent the rest of the day into the night with her at the hospital. When I got home, I ate sad pizza (like the saddest) that Dr L had ordered and I picked the cheese off of because, fucking dairy. Is it even pizza then or is it just sad tomato bread? Well, anyway, it made me feel like crap. The upside/downside of eating healthy is that shitty food makes you feel even more shitty, I have found. 

 Moving on next day, my husband pissed me off

giphy.gif

because he wanted me to call in sick to work. Mind you, I work only once a week and my husband always wants me to call in sick. He also "forgot" that I had a phone interview the other week and I was left hanging trying to do the call and take care of the chick at the same time so I had that lingering resentment simmering in my resentment soup. I try to explain that I take my job seriously and that I have a bunch of people (including dying people) counting on me literally every time I work.  That said, I feel like I'm trying to eat my cake and have it to, I suppose. I'm grateful that I technically don't have to work but I like having the opportunity to help people, I like feeling my brain juices flow, and I like to feel my impact on the world. I just wish he would take my work seriously and somehow that means taking ME seriously in my mind. 

 

     So, the work day was actually fine. I attended one death, help manage the pain and discomfort for someone who was actively dying, had the opportunity to help a family find something meaningful to connect with their actively dying relative (reading the bible to her), and had a man hold my hand who was otherwise non-responsive. GOOD STUFF.

 

 So, today, I've been trying to tend for my in-laws and deal with a very pissed off toddler. I think my in-laws are more grumpy tbh. They don't deal with difficulty well and have trouble caring for themselves in the best of times. I feel shitty even typing that but I guess I need to get it off my chest. My MIL is having difficulty getting up and moving which makes it so very hard. It really puts into perspective why a healthy way of life is so very important. She has trouble getting around as it is and this injury has just brought to light how much we need to put her healthy as a priority. It's the unspoken thing in our family. We don't talk about her health because it's such a sensitive subject even though we all really want to... I am hoping this terrible crisis makes an opportunity for that. Just a little more activity, just a little more healthy foods would really change her life :(

 

anyway, i am going to get a workout today and keep on keeping on. 

 

correspondences:

On 2/16/2019 at 9:59 AM, Kharissandra said:

I don't have an instapot, but Yes please to recipes! :D Good job on the nighttime routine; it sounds lovely :D Also on the workouts (yoga with a small pupper climbing all over me is the first kind of yoga I might actually get into long-term XD).

That's deep (lol was not trying to make water puns, but here they are anyway XD). 

 

Sounds like you're kicking major butt so far! :D Let us know what kind of support you need! (And in the meantime, here is a cute picture). 

all the water puns please.

 giphy.gif

i'm pretty good at getting things done, it is my mind that is the problem! recovering over-achiever over here (roll call, who else is with me?????)

On 2/16/2019 at 10:32 PM, Thom Stépan said:

The whole web of causes and effects that you are describing is what I know as the Web of Wyrd.

This is from Anglo-Saxon paganism. Probably the most easily to understand works on this concept is Brian Bates' books 'The Real Middle Earth' and 'The Wisdom of Wyrd'.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk
 

hmm... I love difficult to understand things much more fun than easy to understand things!! I'll check it out

 

8 hours ago, Mr_Willes said:

 

Those are my favorite!

 

Somhow they seem more true...

 

Good to see you are soldiering on, you got a pretty rigid system in place, just make sure to enjoy all the things you are setting out to do!

I think that they are good because they are usually more in real time updates. Proper challenge updates are more like checking things off a list (or at least for me)- therefore, way less entertaining.

 

Is it rigid? Working out a shit ton comes second nature at this point and, like, fuck, I HOPE I can do at least one sensual thing every day. I think that it seems rigid when looked back on and less when actually doing it. and, to be honest, the sensuality thing has more to do with mindfulness than anything else. I want to take time to appreciate the wonder that it is this body and how it feels more often rather than constantly trying to change and improve. Like right now, I'm thinking about how incredibly sensual the soft mohair sweater I am wearing is and how it feels on my skin (like gentle angelic spiders!).  all of this said, your comment made me go check into the great tome of Sophie's past and I came up with some interesting insights that I'll share sometime! 

 

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3 hours ago, ladyofthebog said:

work out done and feeling GREAT. man, i love moving me boddyyyyy


WHen it rains it pours! But I am really glad to see your mood turned around.  Sometimes we really need a workout to make use of all that extra fire we have burning inside. Conversely I think sometimes we "need" a $#!tty moment in our day to put some fire into our workouts. I know that sounds twisted (I wish bad days upon nobody here) but it can break you out of a rut if you were barely falling short of a goal or starting to lag in your normal routine. That being said today was FAR MORE $#!t than you "needed"

We actually order no-cheese pizza in our house for my daughter. It's usually sausage, olives, ham and pineapple. Sometimes with the red sauce and sometimes with bbq.

Addressing a sensitive matter of a family members lifestyle/ health is always a challenge. Your situation reminds me of parts from "What's Getting Gilbert Grape" and that did not end well. I wish you the best of luck hopefully this is the eye opener everyone needs.

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Sorry to hear about your family, hopefully things will get better (which means she will not only physically get better but also mentally, and takes this event as a hint to change life a little).

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