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Hello!

It's been almost 2 years since I was last around, and I've thought about you guys often. I was thinking about the forums again this morning, and how maybe I'd look at jumping back in. And then in my inbox is a "rebellion digest" with the "new content from your followed items for the past day".... from 2 years ago. 
Image result for gif stargate what

 

 

My word for the year is congruity, so I'm taking it as a sign that I needed to be back here. 
Image result for gif stargate

 

 

I wasn't going to do a theme, but the Stargate gifs are calling me, so expect plenty of that.

Image result for gif stargate teal'c

 

~Goal things~

Movement:

  • Current plan
    • Dance (more on that later) on Sundays and Wednesdays
    • Yoga at the studio on Tuesdays and/or Thursdays
    • Train the pony on Sundays after dance AND either/both Tuesdays and Wednesdays before classes
  • Would like to add
    • home yoga (headstand progressions or neck tension flow)... just a few minutes, any day that I don't have yoga class
    • push up progressions... my progress with fancy yoga poses is restricted by lack of tricep strength. Let's make this happen!
    • maybe (that's a BIG maybe) add a lifting day, even just a bodyweight workout, but I'm not sure

 

Nutrition:

  • Current plan: eat food, often without mindfully enjoying it, no tracking
  • Would like to change: drink more water, eat mindfully, track my calories for just a bit (can't let the perfectionist gremlin get in the way)

 

Life

  • Big picture: chipping away at these
    • 56739884736__97780EFB-E5C4-49A8-9DC1-ABD04A57F477.thumb.JPG.0c4455da7c9231824b77876978bd8b8a.JPG
  • Little picture:
    • Get reading (have 2 books that I'd like to finish by the end of March)
    • Get meatball making (need to make 2 by the end of March)
    • Get crafty
    • Get back to my meditation practice
    • Go to National Park #6 the first week in April


Points:

  • none for following the basic plotline
  • plus 1 for minor new-planet-of-the-week tasks
  • plus 5 for taking down a big baddie

 

Image result for gif stargate sam

 

 

Point Totals:
Week 1: 33

Week 2: 27

Week 3: 16 < ufda 

Week 4: 13 from vacation + TBD rest of week

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Welcome back. I love how  you've done the visual for 2019. I have some goals and stuff for 2019. But having it in the visual form somehow makes it way cooler

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On 3/14/2019 at 4:52 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Welcome back!

Glad to be back :)

 

On 3/14/2019 at 5:06 PM, Elastigirl said:

Welcome back. I love how  you've done the visual for 2019. I have some goals and stuff for 2019. But having it in the visual form somehow makes it way cooler

The outline (just circles and lines) I made on a graphics app. Be happy to share it if you'd like :) I'm very much a visual person.
 

On 3/15/2019 at 1:27 PM, Tzippi Longstockings said:

Yay for a Stargate theme!

 

(Excuse for Tzippi to Momoa-post! Hee hee!)

 

giphy.gif

Image result for gif ronon stargate

Ronan Dex is one of my favorite characters. Jason Momoa is super nice to look at too :P 

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Challenge tomorrow!

Image result for gif stargate knuckles

 

Somethings I am good at implementing. Others... not so much. That brings us to week 1's addition of - Habit Cracking 101. All the items below are things I'd like to start/solidify as things I do regularly. Daily isn't a must, but I consider these all "semi-daily" things.

 

Thoughts on Habits week 1

Spoiler

Life:

  • Reading
    • I've been doing a bunch of big time self improvement or heavy hitting fiction reading. I can't read it before bed because I really want to be able to digest what I'm taking in. I can pick up (good heavens) yet another book, but something light for pre-bed reading. 
    • I can try to do a bit of the heavier stuff over lunch on work days. I've been avoiding it and often napping over lunch instead.
    • I can listen to my bedtime alarm so I can have time to read before bed before passing out.
    • I can dedicate study time on my days off (and possibly on the weekends).
    • I can get some of what's already started (2 fiction books, 1 yoga pose book, 2 spiritual books, and 1 therapy book) finished.
  • Practicing Italian
    • Apps (Duolingo and Drops) are on my phone. Drops runs a 5 minute timer, and I have my phone at my desk at work, so this usually gets done at least before lunch. A second 5 minutes at the end of the day is a plus, but not right before bed. Reasoning: 1) trying to reduce phone use before bed, and 2) I don't remember the words if I'm sleepy.
    • Been doing this for almost a month straight, and the app is cute, so this shouldn't be an issue to continue.
  • Using Curable app
    • Another app, but needs anywhere from 5-20 minutes depending on the exercise. Used for pain reduction therapy, and really has made a big difference in my perceived pain levels. This needs dedicated time. 
      • Off weekdays (T/W): can do during the day. Meditation or Writing exercises.
      • Work weekdays (M/Th/F): could try lunch break but realistically I don't know if that'll happen. Brain Training exercises are short and don't need tons of thought.
      • Weekends: skip if I do it during the week. or maybe repeat a meditation from them.  
  • Oracle Card pull
    • Nothing too complicated, but do want to be in an open mindset. Using the same space where I meditate, so it's a good habit to piggyback meditating off of. I'd like to journal a bit about the card, so maybe 5-10 minutes total. Probably 5. Plus 10 minutes of meditation means just 15 minutes set aside needed. That's doable. I get to use a nice journal and one of my fancy pens for this. It's enjoyable.
    • What gets in the way: the damn internet. We don't have cable, but I watch youtube (late night, science stuff, some fluff) and sometimes scifi shows I've already watched but love. I'm contemplating instituting a no youtube/amazon video rule on Tues, Wed, and Thurs nights, since I don't get home til 7 and the time can burn up fast when I'm home that late. In April I won't be getting home til 8 or later on Tuesdays.
  • Meditation
    • Just getting a handle on how I want to do this. Can do guided ones from Curable some days, and Insight Timer music alone on others. I've done this a few times in the evening before bed, and I really like that, but I have to get to it before it's *too close* to bedtime, or else I'll just go to bed. I like doing this after the oracle card pull. 
    • What gets in the way: I've been ignoring the alarm on my phone that says it's bedtime. I can change the tone/vibration so I actually listen to it.

 

Exercise: (this is where I'm gonna struggle, but here it goes)

  • Push up progressions
    • Don't really *want* to do. But I can't progress with some yoga work until I've got a modicum of tricep strength. Not likely to occur in the mornings, cause mornings are HARD. It's not a long period of time to dedicate, but it needs to be done. 
  • Headstand progressions
    • Need to stretch or be warmed up before attempting. Can do after dance/yoga on weekdays, but I'm usually ready for a shower and dinner when I get home. Could practice M and F after home yoga and or pushups.
  • SI joint care
    • I stopped doing this a few months ago as things have gotten so. much. better. but I want to get back to it so I can stay comfortable and pain free moving into spring. Also possibly a MF after work, W morning kind of thing.

 

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On 3/14/2019 at 11:12 PM, Tova the Vibrant said:

It's been almost 2 years since I was last around,

So good to have you back! How are pony doing? And how is your body? Fibrio wasn't it?

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 welcome back from a fellow prodigal nerd. How do you like duolingo? Using it myself for Chinese. 

 

Good luck on your comeback challenge! 

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19 hours ago, elizevdmerwe said:

So good to have you back! How are pony doing? And how is your body? Fibrio wasn't it?

First, kudos to remembering! Second, I've thought about you many times over the last two years, hearing news from your neck of the woods. 

Pony is fab! Last winter (a year ago) we found a new style of training, and he really took to it. Folks last summer were super impressed with the change in his temperament (not nearly as anxious) and we're going to just blow them away this summer. He's such a cool horse, and I'm so glad he ended up with me. Someone else may not have taken the time to get to the root of his anxiety. And working through his anxiety has helped me with mine, too. 

 

Fibro is a whole story! But the short of it is due to a major mindset shift last March, and some new outlets found this January, I'm at a point where my pain is essentially gone. Not totally, but for me is close enough. Story in the spoiler...

Spoiler

I hadn't been doing very well, and last March something finally clicked. I was walking though revising my big why, and this hit me:

"I've realized that my big why is that I want to work WITH my body instead of against it. I've spent so long fighting my chronic pain, battling depression, and masking my anxiety. I want to take care of my body, not force it to do things. This requires a mindset shift about exercise - finding the joy in the movement, not getting hung up on calorie burn or miles completed. I want to be 70 years old and still riding horses. By building muscle now, I can make that happen. By appreciating what my body can do now - there are muscles under the extra weight! - I can have a better relationship with myself and my body will work harder for me."

Starting from there, I sought out physical therapy for my lower back pain. It turned out to be a primary issue with my sacro-illiac (SI) joint, and a secondary issue with my posture. I literally had to re-learn how to stand! Knowing how jacked up my posture was before, no wonder how much back pain I had! Last September, after three months of PT, I was able to hike up the tallest peak in Crater Lake National Park with minimal pain!

This January, I was really having a bad go. I was going to bed and waking up with severe pain in my hands and feet. Then I found a new yoga/hollistic movement studio, and I started going to a dance class. It's been very cathartic for me, and now I crave it! There's something incredible about this type of movement that's allowed me to let go of some deeply held beliefs - I've found I can take up space, and that I'm tired of hating my body. I've gone religiously twice a week sing the second week in January. Check it out here: http://www.ayadance.com/

The only issue I'm dealing with now is muscle tension in my face. It's not fun, but is localized. I grind my teeth at night - I have a night guard - and that tension doesn't allow me to open my mouth fully all the time. I can't chew hard things, or take big bites of food, or yawn normally. I'm hoping with more dance and yoga and mental shifts I can get rid of this stuff too.

 

 

 

8 hours ago, Doe said:

 welcome back from a fellow prodigal nerd. How do you like duolingo? Using it myself for Chinese. 

 

Good luck on your comeback challenge! 

Heh. Prodigal nerd. 

Duolingo was a great place to start, but I'm stuck on question words. In Italian (and in English, too, actually) they are all very similar and I just can't keep them straight! Drops has been super helpful to learn straight vocab. I did three months of Duolingo last year before my dream trip to Italy, and then dropped it. I'm enjoying getting back to it!

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Day 1:

Life - all my dailies, which is a first I think. Meditation was interrupted by this orange furrball, who is a new addition as of Dec 2017. He was hit by a car, found at my barn, and I fixed him up. His name is Captain Chip Crunch of the Starship Derp.

IMG_4111.thumb.JPG.9ff0a9ae01ff01486061920ca5eacc78.JPGIMG_4110.thumb.JPG.44f52d50ddbbf739e548aad8658ab193.JPG

IMG_4109.thumb.JPG.4dc100eeaf087dbb2eb9dabde5ad0f29.JPG

 

Nutrition- made meatballs for dinner. They were delicious. Tracked food, but wasn't great about eating mindfully. 

 

Movement - nope. 2/3 ain't bad though.

 

 

Life: +5

Nutrition: +5 for cooking meatballs

Movement: 0

 

 

This morning I'm home and doing chores (dishes, litter boxes, laundry x2, maybe cleaning off my dresser) and reading/studying. I talked to my mom for the better part of an hour. Life in her house is full of crazy, and I'm so glad I've removed myself from it. She's back in therapy again for her own issues, but keeps on getting dragged back into dysfunctional patterns by the rest of my family (adult brother with autism, adult sister who stirs the pot, and brother-in-law are all living at my parent's house). 

Edited by Tova the Vibrant
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On 3/19/2019 at 3:56 PM, Tova the Vibrant said:

Pony is fab! Last winter (a year ago) we found a new style of training, and he really took to it. Folks last summer were super impressed with the change in his temperament (not nearly as anxious) and we're going to just blow them away this summer. He's such a cool horse, and I'm so glad he ended up with me. Someone else may not have taken the time to get to the root of his anxiety. And working through his anxiety has helped me with mine, too. 

Aww... I'm so glad for both of you.

On 3/19/2019 at 3:56 PM, Tova the Vibrant said:

Last September, after three months of PT, I was able to hike up the tallest peak in Crater Lake National Park with minimal pain!

That is incredible! And the dancing sounds just as fun with the "set yourself free"-vibe, I can just imagine how much it helps you.

 

Lol, we also had have a ginger cat who just walked into our house and now he is part of the family. He turned 3 this past X-mas. :D Stampy Cat. Hope you can get some form of treatment or help for the facial pains/stress. Totally believe it will come sometime. Glad that you are removed from the extra stress that family are causing.

Huh, you just reminded me that I have laundry to do!

Edited by elizevdmerwe
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On 3/19/2019 at 10:47 AM, Elastigirl said:

Aw, sweet cat. Loving his name!:smile-new:

Thanks <3 

I wanted to name him Chip - partly the cup from Beauty and the Beast, partly because he was in pieces :P and that was before he lost his "spare" leg

 

Hubs came up with Captain Crunch - he had fleas, ear mites, an upper respiratory infection, and had fractures in all parts of his body (jaw, left radius/ulna, 3 in his pelvis, both femoral heads, and the tip of his tail) so he was a bit crunchy

 

And that tongue - so derpy! :D love that fella

 

1 hour ago, elizevdmerwe said:

Hope you can get some form of treatment or help for the facial pains/stress. Totally believe it will come sometime. Glad that you are removed from the extra stress that family are causing.

Huh, you just reminded me that I have laundry to do!

I'm with you. I know it will come. If I can make such improvements in the last 3 months, then it's only a matter of time before the last bits of my pain are fading.

 

That being said, this week I am trialing decreasing my pain medications. I often forget to take my morning dose anyway, so I'm removing it and seeing what happens. I'm super hopeful that this is going to go swimmingly! 

 

I managed to get *3* loads of laundry done Tuesday, and even washed the blankets the kitties sleep on. 

Image result for stargate gif thumbs up

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W1D2

Did chores in the morning. Read a section of a spirituality book for the season ahead, so it got to go back on the shelf instead of in my to-read pile. Italian done. Had cats sit on me after lunch, and obviously couldn't move, so I took a nap with them. Opted to stay home instead of go to the barn so I could finish chores, and snuck in my oracle card before heading off to vote in the special election. In yoga class I got all the way into standing head to knee pose, which I couldn't do a month ago. 

image.png.6784f009b111a4ac87b6a65602da9682.png

After class I met Hubs at a local brewery to get the new releases on their punch card. We got their pulled pork nachos and played a board game. It was a really nice evening.

Anxiety gremlin:

Spoiler

Went to meditate after we got home, and realized one of my stones in my meditation space wasn't there. I started getting worried, because I care about that space I created. Worry got out of hand and all up in my head. I looked for a while in spots that I could be, but then my brain thought that this less than one inch purple thing could be ANYWHERE. My brain decided that I was taking care of the stones, and that in losing one I had failed it. I couldn't deal with those thoughts, and shut down. Got really quiet and intentionally used a game for numbing. 

Luckily husband recognized this, started poking around, and found it - not 3 feet from where it "should" have been. Apparently the derpy orange beast above found my meditation space, knocked the rock down and under the folding door of the nearby closet.

I was able to calm down and go to bed after, but didn't end up meditating.

 

Life: +3 (italian word of the day: pantaloncini = shorts)

Movement: +1 for the sweet pose

Nutrition: decent

 

W1D3

Day off #2. Finished the book for my book club (that was from January.. heh). Italian done. Meditated with Curable (only counting it as Curable for points purposes, meditation points can be for Insight Timer or self guided). Still contemplating the oracle card from Tuesday. Have yet to work on pushups or headstands. Must make those happen if I want to see progress! Can't just go around wishing myself into chaturanga. 

Great ride with the pony in the afternoon. He's so much calmer now than he was a year ago! And more supple, listening to cues better. He'll be back in full work in another 2-3 weeks. Gotta build his muscles up! Mine too, to be honest...

Dance in the evening. Anxiety gremlin:

Spoiler

Two gremlins in two days is more than usual for me in the past 2-3 months. After class we have time to chat about how we felt during the movements. I voiced some concerns about work, and the instructor redirected the conversation. Not meanly or rude, just like she would for anyone else. But my gremlin started to tell me that I had done something wrong (I hadn't). That I was too exposed (the whole point of post-class discussion is working through vulnerabilities). And why did you do that? (cause it was discussion time and that's what was on my mind). I told Hubs what was going through my mind, but I got really stifled feeling. Like something was pressing down on my throat/upper chest. I just couldn't talk about feeling that way.

Really hoping I don't have another gremlin pop up tonight

Life: +3 (italian word of the day: gli occhiali = glasses, which I'm having a really hard time pronouncing...)

Movement: normal plot

Nutrition: same ^

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15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Here's hoping no more gremlins show up. 

No gremlins yesterday! 

W1D4

Work day. Not too much drama (which is a damn miracle lately). I'm focusing on doing things I can control and not what I can't control (including my mildly misogynistic, weirdly non-confrontational, not-caring, petty boss). Really enjoyed yoga class tonight. I love when I go to either dance or yoga and what I end up doing is *exactly* what my body needs.

 

Life: +2 (meditation via curable and italian review)

Movement: +1 (worked on my headstand after class)

Nutrition: +1 for getting extra veg in today and not eating dessert

 

Plan for today:

Image result for stargate goa'uld gif

I WILL do some yoga at home tonight. Or this dude's gonna put a snake in my head I mean, I'll lose 5 points if I don't.

I may end up napping a bit over lunch, but only after I read or meditate. 

 

Tomorrow I get to go to a crystal/rock/fossil show, and I'm super excited :D

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W1D5

Got called by a friend/fellow vet over lunch who happened to be at my barn and wanted to give my pony his shots. It was a shared trip charge since she was out for someone else. Love saving money! It would be even cheaper if I did it myself, but I like knowing I have a relationship with someone who has all the meds and tools (not to mention the ability to accurately pick out a lameness in a horse - which I completely can't do). Grabbed snap peas and sushi from the grocery store for lunch. 

 

I did yoga in the evening, and foam rolled my excruciatingly tight hamstrings as well. While yoga-ing, I turned my head funny and snagged a muscle in my neck. Ooops.

 

Life: +1, Italian only

Movement: +5 yoga battle, no snake in my head! (just a crick in my neck...)

Nutrition: +1

 

 

W1D6

Work in the am. Stayed late to do emergency surgery on a doggo who ate string (don't do that, doggo!). Headed to the rock show, which wasn't as awesome as I hoped, but still fun to spend time with Hubs. Really tasty Mexican food for dinner, over ate the chips and salsa, but I'm only human. Will consider telling waitresses in the future to not bring them.

 

Life: +1 Italian only

Movement: minimal head turning to the right, and 1.5 hours leaning over a surgery table

Nutrition: blarg

 

W1D7

Was all ready to feel like poop after overeating last night, but was actually ok. I've learned I rarely stuff myself full anymore, and I really really hate the feeling. Will work more towards 80% full all the time, and drinking more water if I'm not sure I'm full yet. Dance in the morning had me sweating, then riding the pony had my toes frozen. Treated myself to a nice bath. Would like to get my dailies done, maybe some house work, but also have time to cuddle cats and contemplate further habit changes. 

 

Life: +2

Movement: +1 cause I was CRAVING activity today, and I'll reward the centers of my brain that say activity is good

Nutrition: +1, mindful at all meals

 

ETA: didn't do dailies, but did finally book the 1 more night of hotel stay we needed for our trip in 10 days, so there's that

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On 3/22/2019 at 9:56 AM, Tova the Vibrant said:

Plan for today:

Image result for stargate goa'uld gif

I WILL do some yoga at home tonight. Or this dude's gonna put a snake in my head I mean, I'll lose 5 points if I don't.

I may end up napping a bit over lunch, but only after I read or meditate. 

 

Tomorrow I get to go to a crystal/rock/fossil show, and I'm super excited :D

Did you end up headsnakeless?

 

Hope the show was fun!

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On 3/25/2019 at 10:58 AM, Tzippi Longstockings said:

Did you end up headsnakeless?

 

Hope the show was fun!

Yup \/ 

On 3/24/2019 at 5:10 PM, Tova the Vibrant said:

I did yoga in the evening, and foam rolled my excruciatingly tight hamstrings as well. While yoga-ing, I turned my head funny and snagged a muscle in my neck. Ooops.

 

Life: +1, Italian only

Movement: +5 yoga battle, no snake in my head! (just a crick in my neck...)

Nutrition: +1

My neck is much better today. I can almost turn full range of motion again. 

 

Also, I first thought my hamstrings were tight from balancing poses at Thursday night's yoga class. I think it may actually be from my first hour-long horseback ride of the year. Oof. Once I rode on Sunday my hammies were doing much better.

 

Today was great. My surgery pup from Saturday pooped (that's what I want to see after GI surgery, make sure everything is moving normally), and went home. I took a 20 min nap with the cats - all three! - over lunch. I got so. many. records. finished. On the way home I picked up groceries for Meatball Monday. I may try to have this be a thing for the whole challenge. Minus the Monday I'm out of town. Today was Nom Nom Paleo's Wonton Meatball recipe. I've been eyeing it for a while, and I'm so glad I finally tried it. Everything you want in a wonton (the filling and the crispy outside) but I made them at home! Even got to use some of our frozen green onions from  last year. Next time I may try baking them, as I dislike having to baby each batch in a skillet.

 

The snow is almost gone and I get to start planning the garden. I am so ready for warm weather!

 

Ready to come in guns blazing this week

(p.s. omg look at Carter snag O'Neil's handgun without hesitation. yep imma ship that)

Image result for gif stargate plants

W2D1: 

Life: +1

Movement:  normal stuff today

Nutrition: +6, mindful at all meals and MEATBALLS

 

Thoughts on Habits version 2.0

Spoiler

Life:

  • Reading
    • Beyond wanting to digest what I'm reading, I just *won't* read complicated things in the evening. Period. I'm tired and I don't want to think too much. Book to re-read is picked and started. 
    • Lunch is often eating, errand running, chore doing, and/or napping. Nothing wrong with that. Happy to do Italian study or meditating, but won't try to do heavy reading. Could do light reading (my re-read) though.
    • If I fall asleep on the couch, I don't read. Try not to fall asleep on the couch. Heh. 
    • Down to 1 fiction book, 1 yoga pose book, 1 spiritual book, and 1 therapy book in the "currently reading" pile. (That's two books down this week!) Plus my re-read.
  • Practicing Italian
    • Doing great!
  • Using Curable app
    • Considering restarting from the beginning, but also maybe just working through items I haven't done yet.. Not sure. But I do appreciate this app. I may be able to regularly do counseling every other week and focus on this app for progress otherwise. Would save $$! 
  • Oracle Card pull
    • Cut out a bunch of youtube last week, but opted to read instead. Or I fell asleep on the couch after reading. Sometimes it just isn't the "right" day to do this. And that's ok. Possibly getting myself a tarot deck to play with soon, too. 
  • Meditation
    • Loved listening to meditation tunes during my bath. I really should do that more than twice a year.

 

Exercise: 

  • Push up progressions
    • Yet to touch these. will need a kick in the pants.
  • Headstand progressions
    • Loving the baby progress even if I only did this once this week.
  • SI joint care
    • Worked on this Friday with the hamstrings. 

 

 

Two other things to note:

1) I've lost 8.8# since last year. It's not a bunch, but I checked my BF% numbers, and that lost weight is all fat! Who lost fat AND retained muscle? This gal!Image result for gif stargate who me

Now give me that 10# lost trophy soon, please!

 

 

2) I'm one week in to intentionally decreasing my medications, and no ill effects! I'll be itching to decrease the dosage even more in the coming weeks, if everything stays stable. Won't decrease until after the trip though (April 4-8)

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7 hours ago, Tova the Vibrant said:

1) I've lost 8.8# since last year. It's not a bunch, but I checked my BF% numbers, and that lost weight is all fat! Who lost fat AND retained muscle? This gal!

Woot! Woot! On top of everything else you managed, is excellent.

Way to go!

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Last night my feet started hurting. I'm hoping it's related to wearing my flats for the first time this year, and not a resurgence in fibro issues. 

 

End of First Quarter Goal Assessment

Spoiler
  • Professional 
    • Fear free certification done!
    • Registered for the conference in August, need to book hotels
  • Financial
    • Saved up the money for the car down payment (early, too! March instead of June!), and bought the new-to-me SUV two weeks ago!
    • With the addition of the car note, student loans won't get paid off this year. Bummed, but glad I have a car I can rely on now.
  • Social
    • Current with date and friend outings. Need to plan a friend outing for April.
  • Adventure
    • National Park #6 is next week!
    • May get in a second NP in this year, which would be cool. Might even be a road trip to South Dakota and get 2 parks in on the same trip, and get some quality time in the new car. 
  •  Fun
    • Pony is back in work. I'll miss my favorite local show due to the AVMA conference, which is also a bummer. However, he's been super awesomely calm so far this year, and I have high hopes for how far we'll get this year.
    • Weather is warming up. Could get on the bike soon.
  • Physical
    • Lifting has been back burnered because I've prioritized going to dance and yoga. I love seeing people hit PRs, and would like to do so myself, but I need to figure out where this fits into my schedule.
    • Yoga - swapped the "going to class 5x a month" to "master headstand and crow pose". I've been going to yoga once or twice a week since January, and can't imagine not going. Plus, having crow pose listed may help me actually do the damn push up progressions.
    • Kept the 1 pose a day goal, may be a fun challenge later
  • Mental
    • Still learning my meditation likes and dislikes. 30 days straight won't happen until later this year.
    • At 7 novels/novellas for the year, plus two 1/2s of not great books, and 3 short books. Killing it.
    • Italian - swapped "3 months of practice" to "basic conversational understanding". I've got 2 months of practice so far this year, but I'd like to be able to have a baby conversation.
  • Personal Growth
    • 3 meatballs only. Can work on the furniture and trailer as it gets warmer.

 

I don't want to get going today. I'd like to just go back to bed. 

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I think you posted it on another thread, but you said something about Rugelach. I bought some at the store and I really liked them! They only had chocolate and cinnamon, so I got chocolate (Though the Seinfeld Babka episode did occur to me) and thought it was much better than the hamantaschen. If it wasn't you that brought them up, they are still good pastries.

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On 3/26/2019 at 5:46 AM, elizevdmerwe said:

Woot! Woot! On top of everything else you managed, is excellent.

Way to go!

Thank you!

 

19 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I think you posted it on another thread, but you said something about Rugelach. I bought some at the store and I really liked them! They only had chocolate and cinnamon, so I got chocolate (Though the Seinfeld Babka episode did occur to me) and thought it was much better than the hamantaschen. If it wasn't you that brought them up, they are still good pastries.

So glad you liked them! Now I'm itching to get the recipe from my mom... Looks like I'll be baking soon!

Yesterday was a fucking cool day. 

 

First, I was working on my headstand and was able to find balance in the knees tucked position! It's the first time that's happened. AND I remembered to breath while doing it. I'm going to take some really kick ass photo while on vacation next week. Headstand with a mountain view behind me? Hell yes!

 Image result for headstand knees tucked

Holding this^ pose? Fucking sweet.

 

Second, I was thinking about a couple folks I know who have gotten sick this winter, and especially my mom, who has gotten sick over and over again this winter. There is strong correlation between stress and the body's immune system, and when cortisol levels are chronically high you are more likely to get sick. My mom has two out of three of her kids, plus her son-in-law, living at home. The dynamics went right back to when we were all kids - hardcore dysfunction, and my mom stressing about it. Not to mention the struggles between my mom and my dad. My brother is also regularly sick, and his anxiety is only barely managed with counseling and medications. My sister doesn't talk to me (Side note: I "get" to talk about that at counseling today, not excited.) but from what I hear she's also been sick a few times. 

 

The point of all of this, was that I came back to myself. I did not get sick ONCE this past winter. Not even a little bit. And Fall of 2018 was the first in three years where my depression didn't eat me alive. (Fall 2017 and 2016 got really, really ugly). And aside from some mild dermatitis last summer, I wasn't sick then either. So I checked my pharmacy's website. With the exceptions of my chronic meds (antidepressants, pain meds) and the skin meds, I HAVEN'T NEEDED ANTIBIOTICS SINCE JULY 2017. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL IS THIS!?

Years and years ago I put not getting sick for 1 year on my bucket list. At the time, it was seemingly impossible. I was struggling to get three months straight without getting sick. AND NOW HERE I AM. HELLO WORLD!

 

I have worked HARD to find myself a good place mentally and physically. I didn't even realized I had those on lockdown when I started looking at spiritual stuff this winter. It just blows my mind that I'm here.

Image result for you can't heal you've been sick

 

So I come back to my mom, who is struggling so much right now. And this^ idea. And how she's in the weeds of the crazy and there's no good way for her to heal because she keeps getting dragged back in. And I'm sad for her. 

 

I also wonder if my sister holds it against me. I got out. I separated myself intentionally when I got to college. I got help. Years of counseling. It still grabbed me - fibro, depression - but I won't let it keep me down. That level of dysfunction isn't mine anymore. And now I approach my sister from a place of a functional adult, and she's still in dysfunctional land. She's still angry. I don't know...

 

 

Love you guys, so much <3 

 

 

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