ATLA: Treva vs the Fire Nation/Ozai

[Treva]

20 hours ago, Toshimi said:

 

A little. I have one all cut up in pieces but not pieced together yet. I decided to use iron on backing for it to help stabilize it but I've read you dont have to (it just sounded scary not to) not sure when I'm going to get to the rest of the project though. 

This is a good idea.  I will keep that in mind as I do the google searches today.

 

12 hours ago, Teirin said:

Nice!  Libromancer was generally good. 

 

Cross-stitching is fun.  There are some great patterns out there.  I have one for the Metropolis movie poster that I will do some day.

oh good!  i'm looking forward to reading it, looks like it should be a good silly romp.

Yes, I realized that a lot of the cool patterns I see can be cross stitched.  I'm doing these artwork cross stitches to start, and after that I think I want to try something video game themed.  It's not as scary as I thought it would be at first.  

 

---

 

I wasn't expecting to need this much time off for my body to rest, but it's been very good for me so far.  I didn't realize how much my body needed to eat and sleep and just not do things for a while.   On a bit of a mini vacation out away from the noise pollution, and it's amazing to hear all the birds and the wind moving through the trees.  Extremely therapeutic.  Might actually find a minute to meditate today (for the first time in weeks).  Confronting the impostor syndrome stuff makes me feel less afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.

 

[Mistr]

On 4/10/2019 at 7:23 PM, Treva said:

Yes.  Well.  I didn't slow down enough, and my body did the usual thing which was make me pay for it.  It was an emotional and a physical crash all at once and I do not recommend it to anyone.  I came down with something gross over the weekend, and am starting to come out of it.  I was halfway through arm day and realized I wasn't well enough to do cardio.  Been a bit bedridden, had more fascinating mind revelations.

 

I'm glad you are taking the time to rest and recover.

 

On 4/10/2019 at 7:23 PM, Treva said:

 

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Thank you for saying this, especially with regards to appearance and primary care/success in an academic field.  Thinking for myself and going against the grain has certainly gotten exhausting.  Part of my weekend blechs were probably due to realizing that I thought I'd been fighting lots of head gremlins, when in reality they were all the same "I'm not good enough" gremlin.  I didn't realize it was one thing that was the cause of a lot of these other issues, like not feeling pretty or intelligent.  (I know, now it seems totally obvious, but it was a big deal for me this weekend!).  So that was a bit crazy on the brain, and I am adjusting to the new worldview as best I can.  I'm certainly less angry at my body than I used to be, and I think I have a healthier view of what relationships are supposed to be, with some residual anger at the people who told me I wasn't pretty enough.

 

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You were under pressure to be the best in music school and when you were working to get into med school. Supposedly that calms down a bit once you are admitted, but there is still all that competition for residencies. It is hard to feel good about yourself when people keep setting you up like that. When you look at people in other fields you can see how silly it is to compare appearance. For example, all the young women in movies are good looking. Sometimes the film sets up someone to be prettier than someone else, but you can go to their IMDB page and see that with other makeup they are beautiful. Who is more beautiful? That is a question of taste, not measurement. The same applies to intelligence, but people get delusions that it is quantifiable.

 

I like to live under the fairytale delusion that if you do what you love, you end up with people you love.  Maybe that'll work out, maybe it won't, but I will definitely do more damage to myself actively attempting to date during intern year.  Yet again, not going to sacrifice the work fora relationship I don't have.

 

I think you have a decent shot at finding people you share your interests when you do what you love. People are also far more likely to find you attractive when you are happy and passionate about what you do. Think of all the time you would waste doing things that aren't important to you if you tried a different approach. 

 

 

tl;dr I understand my own impostor syndrome now!  And when I had the emotional whiplash from it I didn't have any friends to talk to (seven cups of tea to the rescue).  I don't expect my friends to be on call, but it did hurt a little bit that after being available when my friends need me, I didn't have anyone when I needed to talk.  I am glad I found a way to get myself back up, and to reach out in other ways.

 

You know, several of us are available IRL. PM for contact info.  

 

 

On 4/10/2019 at 7:23 PM, Treva said:

I have also picked up reading romance novels, which has been a brilliant life decision.  Not a substitution, but a good distraction from the "this won't happen" fears.  It's a decent stopgap, although I know I can't keep substituting books and video games for people indefinitely.  

 

Actually...  people have been testing that hypothesis. As long as necessary seems to be a common conclusion.

 

On 4/12/2019 at 9:38 AM, Treva said:

Yes, I realized that a lot of the cool patterns I see can be cross stitched.  I'm doing these artwork cross stitches to start, and after that I think I want to try something video game themed.  It's not as scary as I thought it would be at first.  

 

I have a cross-stitch project going that I've been doing for a looooong time. Pretty much any design that can be charted on graph paper can be done in cross-stitch.

 

On 4/12/2019 at 9:38 AM, Treva said:

I wasn't expecting to need this much time off for my body to rest, but it's been very good for me so far.  I didn't realize how much my body needed to eat and sleep and just not do things for a while.   On a bit of a mini vacation out away from the noise pollution, and it's amazing to hear all the birds and the wind moving through the trees.  Extremely therapeutic.  Might actually find a minute to meditate today (for the first time in weeks).  Confronting the impostor syndrome stuff makes me feel less afraid to be alone with my own thoughts.

 

Yay! good that you are getting some time to relax and get away from people. Time to figure out what you actually want to do without everyone telling you.

[Treva]

On 4/15/2019 at 5:50 PM, Mistr said:

 

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Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You were under pressure to be the best in music school and when you were working to get into med school. Supposedly that calms down a bit once you are admitted, but there is still all that competition for residencies. It is hard to feel good about yourself when people keep setting you up like that. When you look at people in other fields you can see how silly it is to compare appearance. For example, all the young women in movies are good looking. Sometimes the film sets up someone to be prettier than someone else, but you can go to their IMDB page and see that with other makeup they are beautiful. Who is more beautiful? That is a question of taste, not measurement. The same applies to intelligence, but people get delusions that it is quantifiable.

 

There was a lot of competition for residencies, and I have a tendency to pay more attention to the people who tell me I'm not good enough than to people that tell me I am.  I even spoke about some of my professors with current residents, who said the people I'd had trouble with are well known for bringing down students.  That is a good analogy, and it helps.  It is especially true in medical school, where quantifying intelligence by way of testing and grades is very important programs deciding who they will take.  It is probably not quantifiable in as many ways as they would like.  It was funny to hear program directors say they wish they had a way to tell who was going to work hard and be kind, instead of just picking people on test scores.  

 

I think you have a decent shot at finding people you share your interests when you do what you love. People are also far more likely to find you attractive when you are happy and passionate about what you do. Think of all the time you would waste doing things that aren't important to you if you tried a different approach. 

Well I'm glad it doesn't sound like a totally stupid idea.  It's altering the odds a little.  And I would be wasting a lot of time!  And to some extent, I think I have done that too; I have done activities and things which I didn't totally love, and the people I met weren't really anything I'd want in my tribe.  I'm glad I tried those things, though, if only to rule them out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 4/15/2019 at 5:50 PM, Mistr said:

 

 

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I have also picked up reading romance novels, which has been a brilliant life decision.  Not a substitution, but a good distraction from the "this won't happen" fears.  It's a decent stopgap, although I know I can't keep substituting books and video games for people indefinitely.  

 

Actually...  people have been testing that hypothesis. As long as necessary seems to be a common conclusion.

Oh!  Thank you for providing me with a summary of the data!  Considering my love life is so bad I can't even find the romance novels I want at the bookstore, as long as necessary/possibly indefinitely is reassuring.

 

 

On 4/15/2019 at 5:50 PM, Mistr said:

I have a cross-stitch project going that I've been doing for a looooong time. Pretty much any design that can be charted on graph paper can be done in cross-stitch.

 

 

On 4/15/2019 at 5:50 PM, Mistr said:

 

Yay! good that you are getting some time to relax and get away from people. Time to figure out what you actually want to do without everyone telling you.

This has been so important.  I have figured out I don't know what to do yet, but I do know I don't want it to take forever or to be all consuming.

I also know that I need more naps before I make decisions

 

 

Okay so starting this week off mostly strong! 

• Monday did not do too much; I have been practicing buckets and buckets, and have to limit myself to 3 hours a day because my wrist and elbow are starting to act up.  However, if I take some time now to change my technique, I have enough repertoire that I feel like I could practice more than that.
• Healthy eating and hydrating have been steady, and I've picked up on and off meditating again.  I found that doing some body scans takes about five minutes, so that's a good focused meditation I can start banking on again. 
• Sleep has been steady, and now that I am feeling better I am easing myself back into exercise.  I was afraid I would have lost my gains taking the week and a half off, but I think I can mostly pick up where I stopped.  
• I can always do better on my sword progress, my swapping out of desserts, and my yoga.  I keep wanting to make things a more regular practice, but there are usually time sensitive tasks that need to get done at night for the next day that end up taking priority.  I am hoping this dies down soon; if not, I will make some adjustments.
• Steadily knocking off tasks to be done.  I have one more that has to be done in person at school, and the rest I can accomplish at home away from school.

 

Personal log: Did some cleansing cleaning out of closet and of paperwork on monday, which was why I didn't make it to the gym.  I spent the whole day debulking my closet.  It was therapeutic.  The physical act of letting go of clothes from other times in my life was good for mentally letting go of baggage.  I am in a much healthier place.

 

Going to buy myself some books to be shipped home for the end of holy week.  This has been a doozy to get through, and I'm looking forward to taking some real time off, where I can focus only on the things I want.

[Mistr]

31 minutes ago, Treva said:

Personal log: Did some cleansing cleaning out of closet and of paperwork on monday, which was why I didn't make it to the gym.  I spent the whole day debulking my closet.  It was therapeutic.  The physical act of letting go of clothes from other times in my life was good for mentally letting go of baggage.  I am in a much healthier place.

 

Going to buy myself some books to be shipped home for the end of holy week.  This has been a doozy to get through, and I'm looking forward to taking some real time off, where I can focus only on the things I want.

 

Good for you for getting things cleaned out!

 

I am glad to see that you are being flexible with your goals to fit with your current time pressures. You are getting the important things done and fitting in your training and music around that. Plus catching up on sleep. Keep giving yourself credit for all of that.

 

You might want to check out yoga for wrists and shoulders. Sitting in one spot playing keyboards is more active than typing, but it still has your arms in the same type of position for a long time.

[Treva]

On 4/17/2019 at 10:11 AM, Mistr said:

 

Good for you for getting things cleaned out!

 

I am glad to see that you are being flexible with your goals to fit with your current time pressures. You are getting the important things done and fitting in your training and music around that. Plus catching up on sleep. Keep giving yourself credit for all of that.

 

You might want to check out yoga for wrists and shoulders. Sitting in one spot playing keyboards is more active than typing, but it still has your arms in the same type of position for a long time.

Good point!  I am doing some research on the physical toll of performing, and I haven't gotten totally into the literature but it looks like at the least, heart rate reaches 52% of maximum during performance, which is just under the requirements for cardio.  so I have been skipping cardio at the gym given I'm doing so much practicing and performing on a daily basis, and don't want to wear myself down.

 

I need to get more stretches, for sure.  I'm starting to get a little crampy, and my books have some stretches I've been neglecting.

 

 

Wrapup for week 3!

 

• Per usual, still bad at sword and meditating.  
• Practicing, sleep, healthy eating, and hydrating are going extremely well.  I am bribing myself with no calorie flavored waters, but I'm hydrating and at least right now it's building the habit of doing it.  
• Getting back into the gym is good--I've been not doing cardio this week under the assumption that my playing for many hours is enough for this week.  Next week, i'll go back to regular running or something.
• Yoga is happening.  I need to remind myself to stretch before tonight and before tomorrow morning.
• I have almost completed all my tasks; I'll be sure to get them done before next week.
• If I bring my sword with me next week, I can expect to do well for completion.  I think even if I don't, I should be okay if I really focus on meditating.

 

So right now, check marks for

Sleep: 88.9% completion

Practicing: 76% completion

Eating healthy: pretty good

Hydrating:  pretty good.

Strength training: we are a little short this week on one leg day, but I'm doing lots of organ.  

Cardio: definitely doing 5x/day

KB: picked up to almost every day this week

Yoga: picked up to almost every day this week

 

Nearly there with

Knocking off all tasks

 

Not doing well with

Sword

Meditating

 

I'm still waiting to see how I did on my last two rotations, which is a little unusual.  We have less than a month before graduation, and I'm a little nervous that my teachers won't have my grades in for graduation.  Haven't gotten any emails yet to that effect

[Mistr]

Yay for all the exercise!

 

It sucks that your teachers are being slow to submit grades. I rather expect that they are under pressure from the program administrator to get those DONE. I know what the end of the semester looks like at my house. I imagine it is the same everywhere.

[Treva]

On 4/22/2019 at 12:48 PM, Mistr said:

Yay for all the exercise!

 

It sucks that your teachers are being slow to submit grades. I rather expect that they are under pressure from the program administrator to get those DONE. I know what the end of the semester looks like at my house. I imagine it is the same everywhere.

I bet it is.  I'm an ickle bit nervous because I need these to graduate, but at the same time I respect that normally it takes a month to get grades in.  I know it takes people a while to get em all done.

 

Okay so far this week!  I am giving myself double points for actually bringing my kettlebells back home so I can use them.  I also have been focusing on creative ways to get my exercise, like using the local playground for pullups, and going for walks to get my cardio.

I am cutting myself some slack on practicing this week, since last week was such a heavy playing week.  I think it is ok for my hands to rest and for me to stretch out my elbows, since they are making me aware of them.

This has been a good time to get better at my meditation.  A Five minute body scan is a great way to spend any moment of my day.  I am thinking of trying to invent a quick one minute meditation I can do if I need to quickly center myself while at work next year.  

 

I think the most important thing is I have been using my mandatory tasks as comping strategies.  Like, I hurt, I'm gonna stretch.  Or, I'm tired and frustrated, I'll take five minutes for a body scan.  Or, I AM FEELING EMOTIONALLLL I should practice.

This is the sort of self reliance emotional adulting that I have been trying to cultivate, and now that I 1) have slept, 2) am not under school pressure, and 3) have stripped off the leeches/toxic friends, I am more able to make these things effective strategies.

Having more sleep and confidence in myself helps me have more willpower, which helps me make healthier choices.  I didn't realize how badly my willpower stats had been damaged.  I am regenerating it through this challenge and this is a good.

So, things to keep trucking on:

1. I am enough

2. I need more willpower.

 

 

[Treva]

Wrapping this one up.

 

I went back and here were my Defeat Fire Lord Ozai Goals

 

Music Practice Most Days: 75% completion  I definitely did this.  Even though I wasn't every day, I balanced a lot of practicing last week, and am starting to get back into it this week

Meet Sleep Goals Almost Every Day: 85% completion  I did great with this especially once I was done with school

2x/week Each Strength Day  50%.  I didn't do this every day, mostly because I am home with the parents, and am making sure I spend time with them.  that said, I'm using the playground equipment here for arm day, and so far so good

5x/Week Cardio  Either walking or running

Daily KB  I haven't done this completely every day, but I have brought my KBs home with me so I could stay on track last month and the rest of may.  So points to me for that

Daily Sword.  Did not do well with this. 

Daily Yoga  Doing great with this, taking the time to do this has been very helpful.

Daily Meditation  50%   I'm not doing this every day yet, but I'm doing it with some intention and knowing it will be helpful.

Pass all courses: if not, find out what needs to be done in order to pass and ensure Graduation

Knock off all the other tasks on my list    I did all this, except fencing lessons, because it turns out my schedule will be too erratic for classes

 

 

Of course, this wasn't perfect.  I didn't do much sword stuff, and my exercise had to be really flexible and much less regulated than I would like.  That said, I have been flexible and keeping on with at least some of the things that are important.

Progress since the beginning of this challenge

 

Firebending:

Music Practice 30 min daily:  I am doing much, much more of this.  I'm actually feeling ready to pick up new repertoire, which I will do as soon as I'm done with a few computery things I need to do this afternoon. (A+)

Daily Sword practice: I am not doing as much of this.  I am wondering if daily is too much, although I really like it as a component of yoga (C)

Daily Yoga: Happening.  Going well.  My hip is feeling better, as are my knees.  I've been doing tai chi/yoga flows, and while I'm not as stretchy as I used to be, I'm excited to get back to it. (A) 

Grade: A

 

Condition for battle:

Strength training:  I am able to do strong things I was not able to do before this challenge.  I can do more commando pull ups than when I started, and I can jump up to them.  I can also do more of my ballet exercises

Daily KB: This was holding steady, and it still is.  I brought my KBs home with me so I can keep exercising this next month.  The general conditioning has made doing other feats a lot easier

Cardio: I have graduated back up to running outside regularly.  I am still bad at it, but I am doing it.  

Grade: A

 

Physical Health:

Eat Healthy at any cost: Getting better at this all the time.  I think making it easy for myself, and saying that it doesn't have to be the most perfect vegetable vegetable ever, helps.

Sleep 6-8 hours: doing this.  So good.

Dessert Swap: less chocolate, find something else.: The yogurts or yogurt+marmalade has been good for me too, especially if I pair it with a little bit of marmalade.  

Grade: A

 

Uncle Iroh is The Ideal Mentor:

HYDRATE: Better with this, especially since I'm at home and drinking LOTS of tea

Study for the final exam--daily if possible: I think I nailed it

Daily meditation: I have found a way to start making this work for me.  It still needs more progress.

Grade: A

 

Overall grade: Yay!  Good work, doing stuff, much better, happy with this.

 

I guess maybe I've at least hit the avatar state, maybe once.

 

Summary:

I feel like I've hit a good fitness baseline.  I can do the following things

• multiple commando pull ups
• 50 regular pushups
• run a mile in 8 min 30 sec 
• Meditate for at least 5 minutes
• Do all my german longsword guards and master strikes comfortably
• single legged squats!
• single legged bosu platform balances

Since I've started on nerdfitness, I have made a lot of body progress.  My weight is about the same, but I tried on a dress that was tight for me in high school, and fits better now than it did ten or so years ago.  Since I began a few years ago, overall I'm down probably a dress size.  I think this is a successful body recomp, although I don't know what my %fat %lean.  My skin is much better, still not perfect.  My relationship with myself is much, much healthier and much more positive.  

 

I have made a lot of great, positive progress that I am proud of and I might feel comfortable starting a battle log, and using that for my time in residency.  I will be under an intense schedule and taking things day by day, rather than the monthly challenges, might be a better fit for where I am right now.

 

I may or may not do much for the next challenges.  I'm mostly interested in keeping myself healthy, practicing, and taking time to relax with things I enjoy doing.  I did not realize how tired I have been.  I still need more sleep.

 

[Teirin]

Saw this and thought of you:  https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/medicine-music-connection-1.4770372?cmp=newsletter-news-digests-nova-scotia

[Mistr]

Congratulations on a great challenge and all the progress you have made during med school. The fact that you are healthier and stronger than you were ten years ago is awesome.

 

I agree that a battle log would be a good choice for your residency. Your goals will probably be for longer stretches than the four-week format of challenges. @Kishi has been using the battle log format for the last year or so, with continued good progress. Let us know when you set one up.

[Treva]

On 4/29/2019 at 8:35 PM, Teirin said:

Saw this and thought of you:  https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/medicine-music-connection-1.4770372?cmp=newsletter-news-digests-nova-scotia

Thank you for thinking of me and posting this! It was a great read, and makes me feel better about my current career choices. At least someone else gets it.

 

On 4/30/2019 at 6:15 PM, Mistr said:

Congratulations on a great challenge and all the progress you have made during med school. The fact that you are healthier and stronger than you were ten years ago is awesome.

 

I agree that a battle log would be a good choice for your residency. Your goals will probably be for longer stretches than the four-week format of challenges. @Kishi has been using the battle log format for the last year or so, with continued good progress. Let us know when you set one up.

Thank you thank you thank you! It blows my mind that "the best shape of my life" doesn't have to have passed me by. And I was really surprised about how my clothes are fitting, since my weight numbers are only 2-5 pounds lighter.

 

Thank you for the reassurance, and I will certainly let you know! I confess having seen @Kishi's log has helped me figure out that a longer scale format without the challenge imposed month restrictions will be better. I'll either be on two week ish things or something longer. Not as good for challenges, especially when I'm mostly just trying to keep my head above water.