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Hiroro Gets Her Head On Straight


Hiroro

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Intro

Annnnnd I'm back. While I'm sorry for being out and missing so much (can't wait to dive into everyone's threads!), it's been a heck of a several months. The wedding was great, then the honeymoon to Portugal in September (AMAZING). And then pretty much the worst couple months of my work life ever, which I'll have to detail in another post. This year started off with a meh, and a lot of turmoil over possibly changing jobs - which is still ongoing. While all this was happening I pretty much steadily gained weight and I'm embarrassingly close to my all-time high again, sigh. I have been running a bit for the last couple months with a half marathon training group, and I'm signed up for the Flying Pig Half in May.

 

Long-term goal - Be healthy and happy (and yes I know this doesn't meet the measurability criteria, but I've recently realized that my scale may not be the best way to measure body fat percentage so I need to figure out a system that makes more sense)

 

Challenge goal - Lose 5lb  (this is less about the number and more about the confidence boost of making progress in the right direction)

 

Goal #1 - Veggies for breakfast

This is something that I've started doing sporadically since reading Born to Run a couple weeks ago. I'm not super hungry until mid-morning anyways - but I've tried IF and wasn't a fan based on how my system reacted (IBS/touchy stomach). It's a good way to get in a couple servings of vegetables early.

 

Goal #2 - Work out 3x/week

I just got over a cold and plan to get back on my runs 2x/week (Tues/Sat), so just need to add one more workout to do this. Planning on a Tues/Thurs/Saturday rhythm.

 

Goal #3 - Brain work

  • Meditate daily (even if it's just one minute)
  • Therapy
  • NF coaching?

I just started going to therapy again last week. Really I should have started again late last year when I was struggling so much at work because it brought on a major bout of depression...but I'm doing it now. One of my main barriers to trying out the NF coaching (besides the cost, sigh) was the fact that a major health issue I've been facing is the anxiety/depression, which I of course don't expect a fitness coach to be qualified to deal with. Well, I've got 5 free therapy sessions through work and plan to pay (eek) to keep going as long as I feel like I need it.

 

I should warn any readers that I'm likely to use this thread as a journal and fully expect to put up some very long, drawn out rambles about where my head is at.

 

It feels good to be back. 

 

 

 

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Journal Entry #1

Just for kicks I'm going to rehash the last several months of suck.

Putting it in a spoiler to minimize clutter.

 

Please don't feel obligated to read - I've had a lot of stuff drifting around in my head for a while and it feels like time to write it somewhere.

 

And I feel like I should add a disclaimer - I realize that in general I'm very fortunate. It's not like I have a fatal disease or have gone through tragedy. But even though from the outside everything is fine, it still hasn't felt that way.

 

Spoiler

I returned from my honeymoon last September knowing I would be picking up this big project from my team lead, since he was changing roles. The date I got back to work was the date of his transition, but his new team was adjacent, so he'd still be around to help me out and answer questions. The problem was that he prepared no project documentation (despite promising it to me), pretty much screwing me over. OTL (old team lead) offered to sit down with me to tell me what was going on, but I didn't have time for him to dictate notes to me which surely wouldn't just pop out of his head in useful form.

 

We have a couple electronic documentation systems which were helpful but not ideal or quick for getting my arms around the project. Thankfully the systems leader on the project was hyper-organized and provided me with some documentation, though without a lot of the details that OTL would have been able to provide. My manager thought that just "loose ends" would be left for me - I honestly don't know if OTL misled him, or if my manager just didn't understand the scope. It would have been workable if I had time to come up to speed (OTL was slammed before I left for vacation and didn't have time to work through it with me) or if I had the documentation from OTL.

 

When I picked up the project, I was immediately under pressure to deliver work packages, while figuring out the status and scope of these packages. It was about 2 months of intense struggle - I wasn't working crazy hours, but every hour at work was crazy. I was also going through stages of anger and frustration with OTL; we had been a 2-person team for a good while and I considered him a friend...he came to my wedding. 

 

During this several-week period I pretty much fell apart emotionally, keeping it together just enough to get done what was needed. I cried at work at least once, on the way home from work most days, and at home thinking about work frequently. The stress took over my life. I thought about quitting every day - I think all that stopped me were my inherent reluctance to make major changes and the knowledge that if I left this mess would get dumped on another team member who would be even less prepared. I had frequent ruminations on self-harm...in retrospect it's clear I should have gone back into therapy then.

 

Through the midst of it, I wasn't working out. I drank too much and did all kinds of stress eating. And those behaviors took their toll. 

 

My manager thanked me repeatedly, but at the end of the project (which I am still doing very minor tasks for but basically completed at the end of the year) I still felt unappreciated and undervalued. The last couple months have been quieter at work, but I still often find myself struck by how unrelenting it is. Finishing a project just results in re-focusing on other projects...which were a bit behind thanks to my focus on the turd dropped in my lap.

 

An opportunity looked like it would be opening for me and my husband to go out to California and work at the facility I'd worked in before, so December-January we were working through that. When they weren't able to hire more people (aka us) it was a big disappointment for both of us. Husband was more excited about the job opportunity than I was - it would have been a good fit for me but I was more excited about getting out of my current job.

 

A couple weeks ago a role opened up in a team that works closely with ours (NOT the team OTL went to), and it was a group I'd thought would be a good fit for me. I don't know that I get excited about any of the jobs in the company, but at least I'd be able to leverage my experience. Also I'm hoping it will get me a solid pay bump, because even though I don't have high hopes for finding a job I'm passionate about, at this point I just want to not hate what I do and to get paid well. That sounds sad but since I don't know what career would make me happier I'm satisfied with seeking personal fulfillment outside of work.

 

I should mention the good things that have happened! This calls for a bullet point list!

  • This first year of marriage is just great. Having Husband around to support me is just wonderful - we were living together before, but now and then I look over and see the ring on his finger and it reminds me that we're MARRIED now! 
  • I've been spending a lot of time with my parents who live nearby, as well as a couple friends that I got closer to through and after the wedding. Getting more plugged in with friends and church helped me balance out the disappointment of the Cali jobs not working out.
  • Also I turned 30 in October in the middle of the work project awfulness - it was a Friday so I took a half day (had just hit a project milestone and could afford to miss a few hours) and a bunch of members of my team went to lunch with me followed by much drinking - we ended up at a brewery where other friends stopped by as they got off work. I was touched that people stopped by on such short notice, and that a couple of my teammates even took the afternoon off with me. It was great and I have no regrets about that celebration.
  • I've also been reading a ton this year.
  • My mom convinced me to sign up for running group training for the first time, and it's fun that both my parents and husband and I are all doing it.
  • My middle sister got engaged...after only a year of dating the guy, and while I have concerns for them and also concerns for myself as the possible MOH, I am happy that she is happy.
  • I finally read the Kondo Tidying Up book this month and have purged a ton of clothes and books already. In the midst of papers now but that's a bit slower.
  • Husband and I are talking about trying to get pregnant in a couple months. This is a major driver behind me wanting to get healthier physically and mentally/emotionally.

 

tl;dr: My job sucked Q4 of last year thanks to crappy coworker who I thought was my friend, leading to emotional struggles. Better now, but still trying to change jobs. Good things are happening too.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Fonzico said:

Welcome home!

I've missed your beautiful self. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself.

All the love!

Hiiiiii you were the person I was thinking about when I debated coming back :)

I missed everybody but you especially.

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Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!! Welcome back!!!!!!!


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Level 74 Wood Elf Druid

Druid: || 59 | 60 | 61 | 61.5 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 ||

Ranger: || 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 ||

||Char/RPG||
STR: 57 || DEX: 59 || STA: 52 || CON: 47 || WIS: 59 || CHA: 59

 

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1 hour ago, darkfoxx said:

Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!!!! Welcome back!!!!!!!


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20 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

Welcome back!

 

Awwww you guys *sniffle* (and lest that sound dramatic I am literally welling up at my desk right now - happy tears at work, that might be a first)

 

I don't think I can catch up on everything I missed, but look forward to following and being inspired by y'all's awesomeness.

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I don't have high hopes for finding a job I'm passionate about, at this point I just want to not hate what I do and to get paid well. That sounds sad but since I don't know what career would make me happier I'm satisfied with seeking personal fulfillment outside of work.


I honestly don't think this is sad. I think it's just fine.
This whole attitude that we need to find fulfillment in our jobs is so overblown.

Yeah, some people are so lucky. But it's not realistic that MOST people are going to be able to do this considering the variety of jobs that are actually available. And furthermore, when you spend all your passion at work, it's really freaking hard to have anything left for the rest of your life.

It is SO. OKAY. To just be content with your job. Of course, it should not be making you miserable, or negatively impacting your physical or mental health. .

But there is so much to you other than your employment situation and yes! Seeking fulfillment in those other areas is good and right and enough!


I'm in a place right now where I spent a year chasing something that I thought would be my perfect job, and while I loved parts of it, the other aspects were SO bad that I was miserable (tears included). I've gone back to my old "boring" job, and honestly just being able to do a job that I like well enough, but can completely leave at work has let me put all my emotional energy into the rest of my life. And the trade off is SO worth it!

Sorry, rant over! But I have some strong feelings about this in case you can't tell haha
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Race: Wood Elf

Level 20

Class: Ranger

Strength: 45 | Dexterity: 15 | Stamina: 44 | Constitution: 29 | Wisdom: 35 | Charisma: 28

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^EXACTLY. Listen to the wise lady


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Level 74 Wood Elf Druid

Druid: || 59 | 60 | 61 | 61.5 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 ||

Ranger: || 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 ||

||Char/RPG||
STR: 57 || DEX: 59 || STA: 52 || CON: 47 || WIS: 59 || CHA: 59

 

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On 3/18/2019 at 3:33 PM, Fonzico said:

-snip-

It is SO. OKAY. To just be content with your job. Of course, it should not be making you miserable, or negatively impacting your physical or mental health. .

But there is so much to you other than your employment situation and yes! Seeking fulfillment in those other areas is good and right and enough!

-snip-

 

 

Thank you so much for your kind words - yeah leaving work at work is...not my strength. Oof I was having nightmares about it for a while there (though I don't mind goofy dreams that my coworkers happen to be in, heh). I've been reading about how the economist Keynes predicted that by now we would all be part-timers thanks to automation and efficiency gains, but that it's proved to be untrue...partially due to the consumer culture, but mostly due to the societal conditioning of being defined by one's career.

 

Sometimes I find myself still surprised at how lost I feel in adulthood and my career - not that I believe I'm alone in this, and I don't even necessarily have any regrets about my career choices. I think since my father took the corporate path, spending his whole career with one company and retiring as an executive, and he LOVED it (not necessarily every job but in general) I just assumed that my experience would be similar. Mom was a SAHM, has a handful of degrees in various fields and is now teaching ESL. So though she's struggled to figure out what she wanted to do, I didn't see it clearly until post-college. 

 

What is interesting to me is that many people find it a fairly easy thing to do, leaving a job (especially if they have another lined up). But I think about looking for something at another company and trying to fake enthusiasm in an interview and just think ugh why bother. We can live on one income (yay Midwest COL), so the tentative plan is to become a SAHM in a few years...unless as soon as I have babies I'm desperate to go back to work for adult conversation, heh. I want to stick with it at least long enough to have one kid to take advantage of paid maternity leave (we get some medical leave plus 10 weeks parental leave - husband is at the same company so ALSO gets 10 weeks parental leave which is pretty solid for an American company). My husband pointed out that I've been saying "five more years" for the past few years, haha. So now I'm saying...maybe three more years, but we'll see.

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Day 1

Breakfast - carrots with olive oil

Lunch - sausage and spinach

Dinner - wine, pizza, toasts with ricotta

Snack - peppermint bark

 

Veggies - Check.

Workout - none, but I made an effort to incorporate more standing and movement (kitchen counter pushups while waiting for the microwave, anyone?) into my otherwise sedentary day

Mind - I have a therapy appointment set for Friday. On the fence about NF coaching still. Forgot to meditate but I had a couple moments during the day when I focused on my breathing.

 

Yeah I see what happened yesterday evening. But not the worst day ever. I'll be looking to do a veggies-first approach to dinner. I ate a whole bag of (frozen, microwave) carrots which was maybe actually kind of a lot.

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Day 2

Breakfast - greens with pistachios and vinegar

Lunch - broccoli, mozzarella, pita strata

Dinner - green beans with olive oil, wings, 2 glasses wine

 

Veggies - 2/2  - and my dinner is more balanced, ha.

Workout - 1/3 - ran 5 miles

Mind - I have not meditated yet but will go do it now, promise!

 

So an improvement on the eating front (I think the wings are fried but they are leftover and free, and smoked - just one more serving left). I'm posting this now because I am NOT going to eat anything else today.

 

My plan is to meditate, finish winding down with my Neil Gaiman Norse Mythology audiobook, and go to bed early. 

 

In completely random and unrelated news, I'm considering taking a 'big' vacation. I'd been thinking about taking one sort of last hurrah international trip in case we get pregnant this summer. (Because eek transoceanic flights with a bab). Yesterday a coworker mentioned he's considering a cruise and I've never been so...I'm thinking about it. Typically I'm an obsessive planner (shocking, I know) so it would be tough for me to relinquish control that much. I've always sort of wanted to go on a cruise so this might be the time - husband isn't interested but I don't mind going solo (though the price for a solo traveler is BLECH) with my coworker friends. I've made a sort of deal with myself that if the offer comes in for the new job soon I'll agree to go on a cruise - and if that doesn't work out plan a solo trip somewhere. New job should come with at least a couple% raise, plus yearly raises are in April, so this would be a celebration of that plus I can schedule it at/close to my transition time.

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Journal #2

In which I reveal myself to be possibly a not very nice person since I am struggling to train our new team member.

 

Spoiler

We actually have three new team members in the last few months, but I only have responsibility for training one of them. He started late last year but was in and out for the first month or two this year. But it isn't just that. He is driving me CRAZY. NG (new guy) is super nice. Over-the-top nice. Annoyingly nice. I consider myself a friendly/nice/patient person, but the effort of training him is proving me wrong.

 

To start with, NG is super duper excited about everything. And this isn't some fresh-faced college grad -- he's probably 50 and still has the enthusiasm of a new hire, which honestly befuddles me. Despite his age and working experience, very little of this experience is relevant. First his nice-ness was refreshing because my team is mostly jaded and cynical, ha. And then he started to wear on me. When I explain things to NG, his typical reaction is "awesome", "that's amazing!", "that's so cool", "wow I didn't know that", or similar. It got old very fast. I want him to ask more questions instead of just...enthusing. I recognize that even with only less than 8 years under my belt in various more=or-less relevant job, I take some of the things I know for granted - so I need him to stop me when I say something he doesn't understand.

 

It's a lot of information, so I understand that I have to repeat myself a few times before it sinks in (and even then it may not until he gets more experience). But I'm honestly concerned because he seems really easily overwhelmed. A few simple tasks and he runs around frantically. He's also very apologetic and a people pleaser, which is not the ideal temperament for this job but I learned to be more assertive so maybe he can too. He's afraid to make a decision in case he does something wrong, even when I explicity tell him that either option is completely fine. Even if I don't leave, it's hurting my productivity to train him, while his efforts are not lessening my workload. 

 

I catch myself getting short with NG. When I ask him a question, his typical response is a string of half-sentences that goes something like "Well I was looking at that and trying to refresh my memory but then I responded to this email and she responded and said that I don't need to worry about that, but I know you were concerned and I just don't know I'm sorry so ok oh that opened on that monitor how do I change the view on this I need to get better at that oh so what was this ok" at which point I interject to try to get us back on track. Every time we look at something together it seems unfamiliar to him, even if it's the fourth or fifth or sixth time.

 

But doesn't change the fact that I might be in another job two months from now - I realize this possibly makes me sound awful. But after getting dumped on by my team lead I desparately want to avoid doing that to NG - yet it seems inevitable to some extent. I can't train him both to understand the hardware (very complex assembly), the work, and the processes all in the next two months. Just do the best I can. And encourage new boss to assign someone to the sub-team if I leave so NG isn't struggling alone.

 

There are mitigating factors...NG lost his father recently and unexpectedly, which is just awful. And the first month he was here, boss didn't know what to do with him so NG got training from multiple people - not ideal. And he has been travelling a lot this year for various (non-fun) reasons. But after ~4 months it seems like he has not made any progress. I realize this may be a reflection on my ability to train rather than his ability to learn, but...I really doubt that it's all me. Meanwhile one of our newer guys who came in with relevant experience is coming up to speed amazingly fast according to another coworker (his team lead) and I am infinitely envious.

 

Rant over.

 

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Sometimes I find myself still surprised at how lost I feel in adulthood and my career - not that I believe I'm alone in this, and I don't even necessarily have any regrets about my career choices. I think since my father took the corporate path, spending his whole career with one company and retiring as an executive, and he LOVED it (not necessarily every job but in general) I just assumed that my experience would be similar. Mom was a SAHM, has a handful of degrees in various fields and is now teaching ESL. So though she's struggled to figure out what she wanted to do, I didn't see it clearly until post-college. 

It's funny (or maybe it isn't funny at all?) how much our parents' experiences shape our assumptions, isn't it?
My dad did the corporate ladder climbing and HATED it. As soon as it was financially viable -aka the kids were out of the house- he quit and became a seasonal landscaper for an apartment complex! Much happier now, and he's always counselled me against chasing a pay cheque.

Journal #2
In which I reveal myself to be possibly a not very nice person since I am struggling to train our new team member.


This does not make you a not-nice person! It makes him a poor learner. And maybe you're not an ideal trainer either - I KNOW I'm not; if someone doesn't pick something up right away, I am so not the right person to be teaching them.

Super frustrating though. Especially if you end up staying in this position.
I have no real wisdom on this one, other than to try to forgive both of you for not getting the results you'd hope for and do your best.

At any rate, have a decent Wednesday! And remember to meditate!

Race: Wood Elf

Level 20

Class: Ranger

Strength: 45 | Dexterity: 15 | Stamina: 44 | Constitution: 29 | Wisdom: 35 | Charisma: 28

BATTLE LOG   EPIC QUEST  CHALLENGE

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On 3/20/2019 at 8:59 AM, Fonzico said:


 


It's funny (or maybe it isn't funny at all?) how much our parents' experiences shape our assumptions, isn't it?
My dad did the corporate ladder climbing and HATED it. As soon as it was financially viable -aka the kids were out of the house- he quit and became a seasonal landscaper for an apartment complex! Much happier now, and he's always counselled me against chasing a pay cheque.



This does not make you a not-nice person! It makes him a poor learner. And maybe you're not an ideal trainer either - I KNOW I'm not; if someone doesn't pick something up right away, I am so not the right person to be teaching them.

Super frustrating though. Especially if you end up staying in this position.
I have no real wisdom on this one, other than to try to forgive both of you for not getting the results you'd hope for and do your best.

At any rate, have a decent Wednesday! And remember to meditate!

Thanks!

I actually mediatated yesterday morning, though by evening it seemed like sooooooooooooooo long ago heh.

 

Yeah it's definitely reminds me of the whole nature-vs-nurture and makes me wonder how I would have ended up with more free-spirited parents. For me since we're saving and investing well now that is very motivating to keep me in it for a couple years. My vague plan if I get this new job is baby #1 - then a year - baby #2 and then it'll have been about 3 years and time to evaluate whether to keep working. Obviously a lot of this is out of my control (fertility! layoffs! who the heck knows!), but I'm finding it calming to have a plan. My Plan C (or D?) if this job doesn't come through, is to just quit and do something part time to keep me busy and make a little money, since we (thank goodness) would be fine on one salary. I'm toying with the idea of going to a job fair this Saturday - in case I do take Plan C and want a part time job at the local rec center.

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Week 1 Day 3

Breakfast - two clementines

Lunch - green beans with butter, broccoli/cheddar/pita strata

Dinner - shared meat and cheese board, brie with bread. 1/3 bottle of wine. full bag of cheddar popcorn. and some cheese puffs

 

Veggies - 3/3 didn't feel like eating my veg breakfast until lunchtime but still counting it

Workout - 1/3 - nothing today

Mind - Meditation 3/3

 

Went out for bites and wine and then driving home just completely broke down, feeling anxious waiting for my job offer to come through, depressed, BLAH. Stopped at the store for crunchy junky snacks and ate a bunch of it. Watched TV. Felt sorry for myself.

 

Week 1 Day 4

Breakfast - skipped

Lunch - 3 tacos, chips (free at work)

Dinner - 3 wings, 3 small ricotta toasts, 3 glasses wine

 

Veggies - 3//4 I just didn't eat breakfast, and then never got around to vegetable things

Workout - 2/3 - ran 3mi

Mind - 4/4 Meditation

 

I brought strata for breakfast but didn't get hungry early, and then went to the SS office to try to change my name and waited 2 hours only to find I had brought the wrong document *sigh*. Lunch was not healthy but not horrifically unhealthy. On my way home I was feeling down about not having heard about the job and found myself planning to inhale the rest of my junky snacks. When I got home I convinced myself that I would feel better after a run, and I DO so YAY. Dinner wasn't healthy but was way better than the cheese puffs and corn nuts I was going to consume. Very small victories.

 

Oh and yes I realize I'm doing a lot of drinking this week, really an unusual amount thanks to free drinks which is typically rare. Next week should be much more sober ;) 

 

Edited to add a glass of wine and meditation.

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Running Rambling

I've had a love/hate relationship with running for years. The injuries plus my genetics-given slowness tend to get me down. BUT when I run 3-6 miles I almost always feel great afterwards, so there's that. I'm still nursing weakness and occasional pain in my left ankle from my injury a few years ago, but since my parents and husband were signed up for spring training and my mom offered to pay, I couldn't say no.

Of course when I started in January I increased my mileage too fast (from like 3 mi 1x/wk to...3mi 5x/wk...apparently I never learn). My shin splints kicked in for the first time since forever - enough that it stopped me running for a week or so. The training group (run by a running store) had a physical therapist on-site after one of the first longer runs so I talked to him. Solution: RUN LESS *sigh* so I cut back to 2x/week and added tape to my outfit and all was well. Since the physio had said I could try adding it back in later a little at a time...this week I've run twice even though I have a TEN MILE RUN on Saturday. I'm a little nervous, having not run long for a few weeks (I did 8 miles, 3 weeks ago? and then got sick so skipped the 9 miler. and then was working and tired/not quite recovered so I took a really long walk last weekend instead of the 6miler I was supposed to do). But I got out 5miles on Tuesday, no problem. And the sickness is gone (though my year-round allergies are here to stay, hooray).

 

On pre-run "hydration" - I went to a happy hour the day before the 7-miler Sat morning run and felt AWFUL. But then a week later I went to happy hour and drank a little less and a little earlier and felt AWESOME during the 8-miler. So...tomorrow (free drinks on the company, which doesn't usually happen often but has been lately) I will hold myself to 3 drinks and then hydrate like a boss.

 

It used to be that running was something I did because I should. But now when I run, I usually feel happier afterwards (like most exercise, really). If only I could get myself up early enough to run in the mornings...but that 5am alarm is just blurgh.

 

I've learned that I'm extra weak on hills, probably because I tend to run the same 3-5mile not-hilly route when left to my own devices. The training group did hill repeats last month and I thought I was going to die. Well, okay, not quite, but afterwards I asked my husband to get me water because I was afraid if I tried to bend over while still beyond gassed I would fall over - not exatggerating. Being the slowest of the family means that Dad and Husband are both done by the time I finish so we stand around after Sat morning runs, drinking coffee and chatting - Mom is doing the full training for London in April (I know, she's such a badass).

 

If this week goes well then I'll know my body is capable of doing 3x/week runs without falling apart, which would be victory.

 

ETA: OH and in the last couple weeks I read Born to Run, which was much more enjoyable than I expected (thought it would be more dry and less of a story for some reason). I would love to be able to run miles and miles injury-free. I've checked out the book written by coach Eric (who trained the author of Born to Run) and am interested to see what he has to say. The one downside of BtR was that even though it had some running tips and techniques based on what the author was doing, it wasn't really enough for me to try to implement in my own running/life. I already forefoot strike and try to do the slight forward lean, but I'm trying out the 'imagine you're pulling a tire by a rope' technique, and just thinking about my running as gliding. And increasing my step rate. Jury's out, but I figure those things can't hurt since they're minor adjustments to my current form.

 

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Non-running Rambles

Since I've been getting back into working out the last couple months I started doing Classpass and recruited a coworker friend to join me. Together so far we have gone to barre (where I'd been before and liked), a boxing circuit class, yoga (I liked, she didn't), and Jazzercise (fun and challenging)! Sunday we're signed up for a TRAMPOLINE FITNESS CLASS. I've done 'Bounce' fitness before where you get your own little trampoline, but this place has BIG trampolines. Seems like a good recovery activity, no?

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I feel like I should feel sorry for this cat but...I'm snickering.

 

ALSO I'm taking advantage of a promo for a 3-month membership at a yoga studio I like - they also offer barre, bounce, pilates, and a strength/cardio class (? I only did it once and don't remember). The yoga is heated, which isn't as big of a deal now that it's warm, but I like most of the instructors. Plus my dad goes here so I can attend class with him!

What I like about yoga is how good and calm I feel afterwards, however long that feeling lasts (sometimes not long...). Doing hot yoga makes me want to eat a salad - something about the heat makes heavy foods less appealing.

 

I know that setting a goal to work out EVERY DAY is overly ambitious and likely to end with me lying on the floor eating junk food in a funk.

But I've wondered on and off if maybe it is necessary just for the sake of regulating my mood.

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On 3/18/2019 at 3:33 PM, Fonzico said:

I honestly don't think this is sad. I think it's just fine.

 

 

Agree. I just clicked sad because I wanted to commiserate with you (Hiroro). I know a lot of that was hard and made you sady.

 

On 3/19/2019 at 8:58 PM, Hiroro said:

Journal #2

In which I reveal myself to be possibly a not very nice person since I am struggling to train our new team member.

 

Not at all. I don't know if you have read @Maigs's thread several months back. This whole dynamic reminds me of her hapless co-worker Kevin. She doesn't even work there anymore, and I'm still scarred from reading about Kevin. Yeah, he's probably a nice guy, but he's making your job harder right now. Completely normal to be frustrated.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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On 3/18/2019 at 7:48 AM, Hiroro said:

While all this was happening I pretty much steadily gained weight and I'm embarrassingly close to my all-time high again, sigh

 

When my own weight creeps up, my brain substitutes all kinds of things like "approaching the worst ever". It's just a number. You rightfully want to be confident in your body and healthy to be a new mom, but as much as possible try not to judge your whole self based on this one small thing.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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9 hours ago, Xena said:

 

Agree. I just clicked sad because I wanted to commiserate with you (Hiroro). I know a lot of that was hard and made you sady.

 

 

Not at all. I don't know if you have read @Maigs's thread several months back. This whole dynamic reminds me of her hapless co-worker Kevin. She doesn't even work there anymore, and I'm still scarred from reading about Kevin. Yeah, he's probably a nice guy, but he's making your job harder right now. Completely normal to be frustrated.

Lol at sady.

i didn't read that thread but it's nice to know that it isn't just me. :P 

 

9 hours ago, Xena said:

 

When my own weight creeps up, my brain substitutes all kinds of things like "approaching the worst ever". It's just a number. You rightfully want to be confident in your body and healthy to be a new mom, but as much as possible try not to judge your whole self based on this one small thing.

I always need this reminder, thanks!

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8 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

It’s kind of a long taper, but if you ran 8 miles three weeks ago, you’ll be fine.

Have fun at your race.

Hahaha that's true I'll just call it a taper/refresh period.

6 weeks to go!

 

My dad wants to run with me but he is faster than I am. Also I'm an uphill turtle but I like to bomb the downhills so we're probably going to be not side-by-side a lot of the time, heh. I usually like to run by myself because I don't want anybody watching me struggle. But I'm thinking about it.

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YOU GUYS I JUST RAN 10 MILES AND I FEEL AWESOME!!!

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This was yesterday, heh

Week 1 Day 5 

Breakfast - broccoli/cheddar/pita strata

Lunch - meatballs, 1 tiny pizza, 2 pretzel bites, 2 chicken nuggets, 2 sliders, bite of brownie, 1.5 beef skewers, 1 pig in a blanket, 1 large cider, 1/2 large beer

Happy hour - 1 wing, 1 mini taco, carrot sticks, 2 pretzel bites, 2 glasses wine

Snack - most of a bag of corn nuts

 

Veggies - 3.5/5 - I took strata instead of veggies because I need to eat it up

Workout - 2/3 

Mind - 5/5 Meditation. Also went to therapy, check

 

Gave myself a half point for the strata - it was fully intentional and I wanted to eat something healthy-ish to avoid stuffing myself with appetizers. Also since I've been eating just veggies for breakfast, I'm going through leftovers much slower and I need to eat up this strata.

 

My therapist encouraged me to sign up for the fitness coaching since I need the accountability, so I'll get that rolling this week...for some reason I feel like I need somebody else's permission to spend my money. 

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GREAT JOB ON THE 10 MILES!!


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Level 74 Wood Elf Druid

Druid: || 59 | 60 | 61 | 61.5 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 ||

Ranger: || 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 ||

||Char/RPG||
STR: 57 || DEX: 59 || STA: 52 || CON: 47 || WIS: 59 || CHA: 59

 

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