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Kharissandra

Chapter 7: Late to the Party, but I Brought Ginger Beer?

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Greetings, fellow adventurers!

 

The story elements of Khari's journey are taking a break for a little bit. I've got a wide variety of projects going on right now, and I don't want to pressure the story by force-writing it right now. (Please feel free to imagine force-writing as a person madly scribbling in ten notebooks by sitting in meditation and using the Force. This has been a Whimsy PSA. Thank you.) Although I'm a whole week late to the challenge, it just didn't seem right to throw in the towel just because I didn't get a post up in time for the official start. So here I am <3

 

In the meantime, on to goals!

 

Firstly, to continue investing in mental/spiritual wellbeing during transitional parts of the day.

This is the stuff I worked on during my last few challenges on morning and evening routines. (Also, as I consider it, walking to and from work so I don't feel like I'm rushing, get to enjoy some nature and movement and uplifting podcasts might also count in this direction!) Adding creativity as a norm for my mornings was a blessing. I feel ten times more alive. It's awesome. I need to figure out how to scale it down a bit (or just make sure I don't make it all pressurey and guilt-laden if I don't follow it exactly. So far so good, but I can get excessive and am not yet sure how to combat that.) So, morning routine, creativity every day, evening routine, going to bed by 10. Daily. Details below.

 

Secondly, to make every meal as life-giving as I can!

The strict cut-off of all things sugar and grains (end of last challenge) worked in some ways and didn't in others. It was way easier to resist nutritionally damaging foods, because I had decided that "I don't eat those". On the other hand, then I did eat those. Once took me out of the headspace I had accumulated, and I was kind of back at ground zero. Although I didn't go ballistic or anything, it was very much a 'respawn' kind of scenario. But without having saved before starting the last segment or 10. Also, I found that I was suddenly giving myself license to eat anything labled 'paleo', sometimes in excess. This challenge, I want to work on that. All I know right now is that my goal is to spend the entire spring on eating the best food I can. I'm sitting down and writing out a plan for 15 minutes (minimum) tomorrow morning before going out for coffee with a friend. I will also give myself enough time to post the plan here. 

 

Thirdly, to challenge my body's limiting beliefs!

My body is convinced that it's bored of running and that it can do exactly 3 sets of somewhat wimpily-accomplished 10 of any activity. I've discovered that this is not necessarily the case. SO I'm aiming to watch where I start settling for mediocrity during my workouts and push for at least a little more from myself than I'm giving. (Until I hire a person who can call me out when I'm only living up to half my potential, I guess that's my job :) ) (This includes the whole 4 workouts every week minimum thing <3) 

 

Finally...to....to.....

Aw heck. There are so many things I want to do. I keep collecting books from the library that I want to read, only to have them sit there, looking sad and a little startled not to be being handled and flipped through and understood. I keep having ideas that sound great and really really wanting to do them. I keep finding new things I'm good at or curious about and not exploring. But right at the moment? Three hard goals (ant: soft goals) is enough for me. I'm giving myself some love and some space and a lot of thought these days. 

 

That said, there is one more thing I'd like to do. Finally, to post on this forum at least 1x/week, and to follow up with my party members. @Jupiter and @ladyofthebogyou two are my comrades in the trenches around here. I'm sorry I disappeared on you last challenge; this is your hand-written coupon for 1 Large Apologetic Pie if it happens again. It smells like apples and rosewater and a sprinkle of remorse, but I don't plan on needing to bake any of those, so don't get too excited. XD

 

(Also, this isn't in any way discrediting the awesome amount of support everyone else has been hurling my way. I deeply, deeply appreciate it. I'm inspired by those of you who have been doing this a while and I can watch as examples of badassery. I just wanted to call a couple nerds out for yelling encouragement into the void and being covered in the start-up struggle-muck with me.) 

 

Alright, as y'all know, I can't seem to create challenges without complex stat and HP tracking systems. (Or might as well be; why am I like this?) So I'm re-instituting the point system I used last challenge; it was good, but needed a few tweaks. But explanation of those tweaks can wait for the AM. :) Gnight my nerds. 

 

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Here fpr the Ginger Beer! Glad you made it to the challenge

 

I hear you on figuring out the  headspace for food. I've tried all those things. One time I ate half a jar of almond butter because it was "Paleo":redface-new: Still just working at finding that balance. 

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Alright, here we go!

 

The plan for food is as follows: grains (except rice) and sugar are off the table on normal days.

Once a week, if I arrive somewhere with the intention to deviate, I can have 1 off-plan item (example: a single dessert, OR a drink, OR a freaking amazing piece of bread) at a meal, or 3 items at a party (because who doesn't want to try 3 different cookies at a party?). I also refuse snacks and kinda-okay foods (like dairy and snacking) on deviation days. And when I do deviate, my rights to whine about food are vetoed for the day. I eat the heck out of that thing, and I enjoy every bit of it, and if I start craving more, I focus on how freaking amazing it was and the happiness that exists in the moment I'm in and how awesome and healthy my body is. 

On days when I don't intend deviate (especially ones where non-plan options are abundant and salient), there is no wheedling involved. Even if it's inconvenient or feels like a 'food emergency'. I used to give my cravings way more power than they actually have. 

And when I reach my goals of 4-6 workouts in the week, I can make a paleo dessert to celebrate, if I want to. (Because I have frozen bananas. They were 99 cents. I'm excited. This just gives me guidelines so I don't eat them all like...right now.)

I also make a conscious effort to eat every meal mindfully, and only go back for seconds if those 'seconds' are green vegetables. (Not, for example, roasted sweet potatoes, which I could easily eat my weight in.) And generally, only if I'm actually feeling 'hungry' feelings; if I'm not full, but I'm not hungry, then I'm satisfied, and I'm not getting seconds. 

When on trips, I eat the best food I can, eat mindfully, refuse to binge on food I don't eat at home, and give myself a lot of patience. <3

 

As long as I keep to the hard rules and aim at the soft rules, I'll be fine. I'm giving myself space about trips because, wouldn't you know it, I'm going on one. End of the week. Oh and my workplace is having a cookie party on Friday. Better get those 4 workouts in and dig up that almond cookie recipe!

 

If that wasn't enough of a drag for you, here's the point system I'm working with to gamify my existence. 

In each category, I net zero points for sticking to the basics. Only on-plan food day; getting to bed exactly at ten; posting once during the week; working out 4 times. 

I use points in each category when I do something opposing the goals I have. Deviating from the food plan; getting to bed late; not posting during the week; working out fewer than 4 times. 

I gain points when I do something extra that furthers my goals. Drinking enough water. Getting to bed early. Posting more than once. Getting an extra workout in!

Points don't trade categories, and I'm not allowed to beat myself up about them. They're indicators of whether I'm sticking to my goals or not. I total my points once per week to see what's working and what's not. I can save up points for a special event (ex: go to bed early all week with the intention of staying out late with friends). Food points are only cumulative in the 'positive' direction; deviations negate any positive points earned, but if I'm having a neutral day and then do different point-gaining activities (drink lots of water, pick three gratitudes instead of snacking, etc) then each of them can add up. Hope that makes sense XD

 

Honestly, I think I could run a DnD campaign with these guidelines. This is intense. I'm trying to be healthy about it, but I'm not sure how I'm doing. We'll see how this works <3

 

There are gonna be a lot of hearts at the ends of sentences from this point on. Thanks for sticking with me :) 

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On 3/23/2019 at 6:54 PM, Kharissandra said:

That said, there is one more thing I'd like to do. Finally, to post on this forum at least 1x/week, and to follow up with my party members. @Jupiter and @ladyofthebogyou two are my comrades in the trenches around here. I'm sorry I disappeared on you last challenge; this is your hand-written coupon for 1 Large Apologetic Pie if it happens again. It smells like apples and rosewater and a sprinkle of remorse, but I don't plan on needing to bake any of those, so don't get too excited. XD

 

Hey, no worries at all, just glad you're back. You're going to crush this challenge. :)

 

Image result for crush it gifs

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Hey, Everyone!

 

Week 2 Update here. I'm recognizing a lot of stress in my life that's manifesting in different ways, and I've figured out one portion of why it's so hard to get to bed on time. Part of my night time ritual (that I developed what, 2 challenges ago?) is a small amount of mindfulness. In a stressed out state, I tend to avoid mindfulness without realizing it. My subconscious knows that if I get all mindful and aware of my negative emotions, I'll have to deal with them, which feels exhausting and mentally way too much to deal with. So instead, I get really busy. Eventually, I'm too tired to be mindful about anything, so I end up having to skip out on it altogether and go directly to bed. 

 

Doing that makes it much harder to get up in the morning (because looking forward to my list of goals is half the reason I get out of bed); helps me stay in a state of exhaustion; and helps me waste time during the day, so that I feel like I haven't accomplished anything and need to stay up late. A self-perpetuating cycle. 

 

Having realized this, I'm trying to just stop and take 5 breaths when 9pm hits, just to recenter, refocus, and figure out what I need to do in order to make it to bed on time. Sometimes it's doing the dishes even though I don't feel like it, and sometimes it's stopping the task that I really wanted to get done tonight and recognizing it can be finished tomorrow instead. It's a work in progress (it hasn't worked yet) but I'm really excited to have found another piece of the staying-up-late puzzle!

 

In other news, I'm having a little trouble getting my week's cardio in (due to the waking up later than normal and having to rearrange my morning routine to fit my day thing); I got a run in the park, though, and it was incredible! I couldn't quite run my whole 5k trail that I was running frequently by late fall, but I ran a little over half of it and added quick sprints through the rest of the distance. I'm really sore today though XP I guess that's what I get for challenging myself to do my best. (I've also been doing that with strength workouts, just giving myself all the pep talks :D )

 

I went kind of nuts on that weekend trip, I'm sorry to say. I've got to get a handle on my food emotions. I'm starting to wonder if there's someone I could hire or something to help me figure out a plan that works for me. 

Meditation's been good and for the most part I've been keeping to my morning and evening rituals. The creativity thing has started to lapse, but I'm getting right back on it tomorrow. At the moment, I've got some sewing projects going and a couple songs to work on; and I'm also hoping to work on some writing soon!

 

And here I am, posting for the third time this challenge. Now to say hallo to the friendos and spread some love and support!

Some exciting things going on mundanely right now; I'm applying for a few new jobs and I might be finally moving into an apartment! I'm talking with some prospective roomies on Wednesday, so wish me luck!

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1 hour ago, Kharissandra said:

Some exciting things going on mundanely right now; I'm applying for a few new jobs and I might be finally moving into an apartment! I'm talking with some prospective roomies on Wednesday, so wish me luck!

 

Nice, sounds like good things are happening! Good luck with the roommates!

 

Image result for pom poms gifs

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Alright, kinda delayed on the update, but I'm here. 

The good news is, I'm moving into an apartment with 2 awesome people! The less good news is that I lost touch with a lot of the self-confidence I'm working on, and I let myself slide into less healthy habits to facilitate adulting as usual. I've been walking to work a lot though?

 

There's not a lot to say right now on my goals, because to be honest, I haven't been pursuing them with my usual vigor. Thank you guys for being here <3 I'm working it out, but it's taking a while. Much love. 

 

Khari

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