• Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

shaar

» shaar's springtime chillout challenge [furyheart chronicles; good vibes only~]

Recommended Posts

18 hours ago, shaar said:

Cons: Had LITERALLY THE. MOST.  PSYCHOLOGICAL/HORROR-Y DISTURBING DREAM I MAY HAVE EVER HAD.  I won't get into a ton of specifics because you'll literally pick up your phone and call the police to have me committed but basically I bought a gorgeous old 3-story Victorian house with my ex's sister (??) that's in this weird-ass lovely Sleepy Hollow style forest location and it's eventually haunted and we're outside at night and a bunch of weird rabid cats show up followed by a very sinister yet SCARILY well organized group of local, uh, locals that are really well versed in capturing people and torturing them and they somehow capture a group of us (where did the other people come from idk) and march us around kinda Mad Max style and yeah I'm gonna end it there 'cause you'll seriously call the police

  • Old abandoned buildings, check
  • Rabid wild local fauna, check
  • Sinister yet SCARILY well organized group of locals into torturing captives, check
  • Mad Max post apocalyptic desert vibe with makeshift technology slapped together, check

q2swSXOkQk9vW.gif

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Urgan said:

after all you don't die in dreams.

 

I have.  More than once.  Stake through the heart once (I was a vampire), end of world detonation type event, the other time.  Feels super weird.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Rinna said:

 

I have.  More than once.  Stake through the heart once (I was a vampire), end of world detonation type event, the other time.  Feels super weird.

 

That's interesting. Were they lucid dreams? (Hopefully you got another crack at Vampire Life...) I found that once I realized I was dreaming, I pretty well stopped having terror-for-my-life scenarios because it's hard to be worried about your demise when there's another you commenting on how weird it is that the features of a real life house got switched around and it looks really silly now. "That's weird" was indisputably the most common phrase ever uttered by Mystery Science Theater 3000 me. The only nightmare scenarios to escape the purge were the classic I'M LATE and the one where I was in the driver's seat rolling backwards at an increasing rate and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. A few of the good dreams happen more than a few times, which is always cool when "your favorite show" comes on. You know, the one where suddenly you're a dragon.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/23/2019 at 1:13 PM, Salinger said:

Oh wow.... you sure you didn’t take acid ?? Hahahha xx

 

NO SHIT RIGHT??? JEEZ

 

On 4/23/2019 at 1:15 PM, GoodDoug said:

PSYCHOSIS IS AWESOME! Right? I mean, I think we all have it to some extent.

 

And is random CAPS_LOCK YELLING considered HYPE, or am I DOING IT wrong? I'm trying to bring some HYPE to your THREAD!

 

I GUESS SO I mean it sure was FASCINATING STUFF..........

 

YEAH DUDE CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL YEAH YEAH YEAH GO TEAM

 

:3

 

23 hours ago, TGP said:

ok,

wow

 

like "Take melatonin" and start writing the next plot for an all animal horror story! ha!

 

I'm not sure I would be Willing to do it again; but I'll say that sometimes dreams are fickle "here Today, gone tomarrow" kinds of things.

I wouldn't disbelieve it- but I'm still a little skeptical that melotonin is the direct cause of the looney-bin dreams

 

if you Were a little willing to try it- you might cut the pill in half and give it a go, like that.

 

or wait till you were Really, really sleep deprived and try it then!  

 

IOW; bad dreams are definitely something to avoid; however no sleep can screw you up SO very bad.  it may be willing to embrace a little more risk before you discard something that definitely helps you catch the zzzzs.

 

 

I did some cursory research and a side effect of melatonin is vivid dreams, especially in women, so...  Some people actually take large doses to try and get wacky dreams.  W H Y

 

Weird dream aside, it didn't interrupt my sleep at all, which was interesting.  I woke up feeling fairly refreshed if not UNSETTLED

 

23 hours ago, Urgan said:

Apparently it was National You Suck Go Home KYS Day yesterday?? Talk about useless holidays.....

 

 

So you walked into a Resident Evil game, then. Sounds a bit like 4. I've never had that experience with melatonin, but we're all gloriously different with the capacity for spectacular oddity. If it happens again, now you know how to get some writing inspiration lol.

 

Did I tell you about the time a velociraptor skeleton became animate and chased me and my friend all around his property and it was all scary until I realized I was dreaming, at which point it became really cool because after all you don't die in dreams. I somehow figured out that I needed to chop it to bits (How do you bash apart a skeleton held together by pure malevolence? A shovel.) and bury the parts separately? Childhood + lucid dreams = the best. 

 

I love the dreams where I realize I'm dreaming, they are the BEST.

 

HELL YEAH SHOVEL 'EM RIGHT BACK INTO THE GROUND

 

22 hours ago, Cheetah said:

I don't practice at lucid dreaming much any more, but I used to because it was the only way to stop the nightmares.

 

When I do have a lucid dream, I always do the same thing.

 

I fly.

 

There was a string of time where I would have a fair amount of lucid dreams, and they were AMAZING.  I had read a while back that mugwort tea can help induce lucid dreams, and I actually tried it a few times, but no dice.

 

20 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

When I've used melatonin I've felt like I had trouble falling asleep all night, and that I kept waking up real easily. I must not have gotten into deep enough sleep.

 

Huh, or maybe the dosage was off or not enough?

 

9 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I have never heard of melatonin supplements..  Did they give you funky dreams again?

 

From the ol' internet:

 

"Melatonin is a hormone that regulates sleep–wake cycles. It is primarily released by the pineal gland. As a supplement, it is often used for the short-term treatment of trouble sleeping such as from jet lag or shift work."

 

Vivid dreams are a side effect!

 

5 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:
  • Old abandoned buildings, check
  • Rabid wild local fauna, check
  • Sinister yet SCARILY well organized group of locals into torturing captives, check
  • Mad Max post apocalyptic desert vibe with makeshift technology slapped together, check

q2swSXOkQk9vW.gif

 

I mean, I did play BL2 before bed that night....

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Huh I made an update at the end of that post but it's not there, what a world, jeez forum software I don't have a lot of time here to rewrite my shit HELP ME 

 

ANYWAYS

 

Melatonin: Day 2

 

Took 5mg before bed.  No wine, no ambient tunes.  Had some dreams but they were neither a. vivid nor b. terrifying.  I did sleep straight through from 10-6:30 though, and that was rad.  Woke up a bit groggy but once I got going I felt a-ok.  Gonna try again TONIGHT.

 

Finally going to the GYM again tonight after like a week and a half!@?/1?4 YESSSS

 

I forgot what all else I wrote before the forums dumped on me.  But this is a GOOD VIBES challenge so none of that malarkey here huh~

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oof, vivid dreams are so weird! It’s a side effect of the first antidepressant I tried, and boy howdy they got realistic. Thank God they weren’t scary. I always woke from them thinking “well, that was oddly specific” :P 

 

I’ve never had a lucid dream; but I, too, have died in dreams. Twice I think? Both times from bleeding out from various nefarious persons attacking me with sharp objects... it was a very strange sensation: everything began to fade to black, and that’s when I’d wake up. One of those dreams, I was in a secret rebellion and I was killed by some invading forces I think? It was extremely dramatic, like in a movie haha. The guy even said some dramatic one-liner before he offed me. 

 

I hope going back to the gym was VERY GREAT AND GOOD :D 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey Shaar, how was the gym?xx

 

It was ok!  I'm having some serious shoulder fatigue issues that I gotta figure out bleh

 

4 hours ago, Shadri said:

Oof, vivid dreams are so weird! It’s a side effect of the first antidepressant I tried, and boy howdy they got realistic. Thank God they weren’t scary. I always woke from them thinking “well, that was oddly specific” :P 

 

I’ve never had a lucid dream; but I, too, have died in dreams. Twice I think? Both times from bleeding out from various nefarious persons attacking me with sharp objects... it was a very strange sensation: everything began to fade to black, and that’s when I’d wake up. One of those dreams, I was in a secret rebellion and I was killed by some invading forces I think? It was extremely dramatic, like in a movie haha. The guy even said some dramatic one-liner before he offed me. 

 

I hope going back to the gym was VERY GREAT AND GOOD :D 

 

YES I've never been scared but upon waking "huh that was v detailed and also ODD....."

 

I've never died in a dream!!! MANOHMAN that would wig me out~

 

 

 

 

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

 

Today I sat in highway gridlock because some dingdong in a box truck drove into a 18 wheeler and jacked my normal 25 minute commute up to AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES GOD ABOVE AND ANYONE HOLY I WAS READY TO EXPLODE INTO FURIOUS BURNING CONFETTI but whatever at least it wasn't me so there's that

 

I've dropped my melatonin dose from 5mg to 2.5mg because while I'm not having dreams anymore, yesterday had me in some kind of unearthly haze where I felt wildly disconnected from my actual body and skeleton and I couldn't get out of my own way or concentrate on ANYTHING and was running at literally 5% efficiency so.   2.5mg last night did me fine.  I'm sleeping great, now just gotta not like..... sleepwalk during the day.  I'm not gonna take it on weekends, 'cause weekends.

 

Something's weird with my shoulders, lifting is HARD and it's not even like I'm struggling to finish my sets, it's about halfway through I literally - cannot - lift - any - more, like my shoulders are SO done and fatigued and they will not move.  I've never experienced this before and I've stalled hardcore so I guess I'll have to figure that out huh

 

Anyways I'm v. glad it is almost WEEKEND ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Tomorrow I have s massage appointment and then I'm playing my VERY FIRST PNP GAME EVER AAAAA, a friend of mine is running an intro Starfinder game for folks in my FC that have never played before, so tomorrow we'll do our character sheets and give it a go!  I AM EXCITE

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, shaar said:

Today I sat in highway gridlock because some dingdong in a box truck drove into a 18 wheeler and jacked my normal 25 minute commute up to AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES GOD ABOVE AND ANYONE HOLY I WAS READY TO EXPLODE INTO FURIOUS BURNING CONFETTI but whatever at least it wasn't me so there's that

 

giphy.gif

giphy.gif

 

...I need to find angry confetti gifs but about to get in my car, so.....

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, shaar said:

Today I sat in highway gridlock because some dingdong in a box truck drove into a 18 wheeler and jacked my normal 25 minute commute up to AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES GOD ABOVE AND ANYONE HOLY I WAS READY TO EXPLODE INTO FURIOUS BURNING CONFETTI but whatever at least it wasn't me so there's that

I feel you.  I also got stuck in some terrible traffic today that took me 38 minutes to go 2.3km.  IT WAS AWFUL!  Totally understand your furiousity

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

W E E K E N D U P D A T E

 

Ok so good thing bad thing.  I guess.  Let's start with.... good thing?

 

1449565442-799682393c093c4b5a5034dde32bb

 

GOODTHING

- Got outside yesterday for a GREAT Saturday afternoon of errands and adventuring!!!  Had my shoulder massage appointment, drove around and looked at all the springtime trees and flowers, stopped at a super nature/hippie store and bought some fish oils and tea and got a juice made of like beets and kale and pineapple and stuff that was SO GOOD and now I want a juicer again....

- Completed my very first one-off PnP game with some friends that was SUPER fun; my character was a human envoy that has rich parents but ran away from home at 18 'cause she just like, wanted to live her life dude, and become a Space Pirate and document all her travels on Snapchat and we investigated this space reactor and she tried to touch a green enemy guy because she thought he was cute and wanted to take him to Space Coachella but died by electrocution (oops), but got revived and then she sass-talked some crazy NPC into giving her an ice gun and then the final boss was a dragon and she ran up and used intimidate to yell at him and insult his family lineage and our Operative shot the shit out of it and we all finally got to go to Space Coachella

 

GOOD STUFF

 

BADTHING

- Y'all I do NOT know what is UP with me, I don't know if I need some bodily detox where I just eat beets and honey for 30 days or something but jeez do I just Not Feel Right.  I'm consistently achy/tired/spacey/all of the above or maybe only 1 or 2 at a time, I'm getting plenty of sleep (6-8 a night) but I just don't feel.......... RIGHT.  I consistently feel like my life is overwhelming and I'm 130% rushed constantly, even though on paper I'm really not?, I think I've failed to properly settle into a solid work/life balance and I'm not sure how to accomplish that.  Like, my life on paper is NOT that overwhelming, but for some reason I constantly feel like I'm behind and am failing to utilize my time properly and feel ~at peace~ with myself and.... I.. dunno I dunno, I can't find a good way to describe it properly.  Phew.

 

So TL;DR something's wrong but I'm not sure how to fix it?  Maybe I should stop drinking boxed wine on the weekends?  Eat more fruits?  Chuck the melatonin?  Revert to living in the woods like our forefathers did and eschew all modern trappings of society?

 

83ce948166a598c00b08fb558b07f224.gif

 

A-ny-ways............................

 

In an effort to try and start organizing my time better, I'm going to try and take one afternoon/evening after work to NOT come straight home but instead head out to parks and nature places to be outside and explore.  I've wanted to do this for a while but the weather made it kinda eh, so I'm not gonna rush home to make dinner and shower and hop on the computer, I'm just gonna take it at my pace and try and chill a little more.

 

GOOD VIBES ONLY SHAAR

 

Anyway, hope everyone's Sunday is SUPER CHILL!!!  I feel a little better after typing this out, I know I'm wildly capable of Getting Shit Done but I'm also a little confused at this weird brainfog so

 

AS ALWAYS

WE GOT THIS~ <3

 

tumblr_n5uovjOi931tp7433o1_500.gif

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure if you saw my recent posts? About life/work balance?? Im struggling a lot too. Again - im not MASSIVELY rushed, but i am finding it hard to sort out time for everything, working, partying, exercising, eating right, meditation, reading.....blah blah. Its tough isnt it. And it certainly makes me feel lethargic and stressed out. 

 

You are doing so well though Shaar, and i love your thoughts for getting to the parks after work....good idea. I need to get outside more too. With my car, its so much easier to do that now as well. NO EXCUSES. 

 

Sending masses of love and positive vibes xx

 

200.webp?cid=790b76115cb4655869324275637

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mebbe regular melatonin use just isn't for you. Perhaps if you're now on a better sleep cycle it's done its job?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Not sure if you saw my recent posts? About life/work balance?? Im struggling a lot too. Again - im not MASSIVELY rushed, but i am finding it hard to sort out time for everything, working, partying, exercising, eating right, meditation, reading.....blah blah. Its tough isnt it. And it certainly makes me feel lethargic and stressed out. 

 

You are doing so well though Shaar, and i love your thoughts for getting to the parks after work....good idea. I need to get outside more too. With my car, its so much easier to do that now as well. NO EXCUSES. 

 

Sending masses of love and positive vibes xx

 

200.webp?cid=790b76115cb4655869324275637

 

It is tough!!  I think no matter what we have going on in life, there's always that "!!!!" that you're not doing it right/enough/screwing it the hell up...

 

We can do it!  Everyone here inspires me to be better and try just a little harder.  We're all in this together. <3

 

5 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Mebbe regular melatonin use just isn't for you. Perhaps if you're now on a better sleep cycle it's done its job?

 

THIS IS MY THOUGHT.  I'm going to try sleeping normally tonight and see how it goes.  Sleep is stupid also it's 2019 why must we STILL depend on it to survive????

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Another possiblity is that your brain is still bracing itself for THE NEXT AWFUL THING TO HAPPEN! You lived with so much cortisol for so long coming off of it is taking an adjustment period. You like your life, you like your job, you like your boy. How long has it been since you had so much like in your life? Maybe your brain just needs to get used to being happy and to realize it doesn't have to brace itself for something bad to happen.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, shaar said:

W E E K E N D U

BADTHING

 

- Y'all I do NOT know what is UP with me, I don't know if I need some bodily detox where I just eat beets and honey for 30 days or something but jeez do I just Not Feel Right. ....  Revert to living in the woods like our forefathers did and eschew all modern trappings of society?

 

 

ok,

While I normally would Cheer the primitive living/homesteading mystique.   (and with chickens and a garden; I'm tiptoeing in that world myself)

 

primitive life MEANS giving up on nerdfitness.com and thats just flatly NO, NO THE HECK WAY, SORRY CAN"T DO IT! ... isn't it?

 

so anyways. my little (obvious) thought is that your feeling some anxiety.   While Anxiety may feel More Physical than what you seem to be describing; don't underestimate the ability for the emotional to seem physical.

 

now, I'm not sure what is going on.  but we're nerds and were rangers.  you could experiment and see if any number of lots of alterations helps.  you can reach out to any number of professionals.  I've done the latter and have uneven success.  

 

but surely, being what you are- you'll ranger on and do wonderful compared to what you are facing.

 

we have You back!

 

well...

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBRZOAx3T4Pm7zm3Y3vdA

not exactly like that. though.

 

:)

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/28/2019 at 1:53 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Another possiblity is that your brain is still bracing itself for THE NEXT AWFUL THING TO HAPPEN! You lived with so much cortisol for so long coming off of it is taking an adjustment period. You like your life, you like your job, you like your boy. How long has it been since you had so much like in your life? Maybe your brain just needs to get used to being happy and to realize it doesn't have to brace itself for something bad to happen.

 

I briefly considered this possibility but I'm fairly certain that over the months I've put this dog to rest... unless there's something buried SUPER DEEP WITHIN MY ONION-LIKE PSYCHE that is.  AhahahaHAHA.  I've come up with the following:

 

1. I worked a 4 day workweek for 6 years.  Now I'm working 5, and sometimes 6 days in a row. (Once in a month I do a Saturday from 9-2.)

2. I have a commute now that's more than 15 minutes.  A good day it takes me 25, and a bad day.... well, anywhere from 30-60.  It's variable and unpredictable.

 

T I M E WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 

On 4/29/2019 at 9:50 AM, TGP said:

 

ok,

While I normally would Cheer the primitive living/homesteading mystique.   (and with chickens and a garden; I'm tiptoeing in that world myself)

 

primitive life MEANS giving up on nerdfitness.com and thats just flatly NO, NO THE HECK WAY, SORRY CAN"T DO IT! ... isn't it?

 

so anyways. my little (obvious) thought is that your feeling some anxiety.   While Anxiety may feel More Physical than what you seem to be describing; don't underestimate the ability for the emotional to seem physical.

 

now, I'm not sure what is going on.  but we're nerds and were rangers.  you could experiment and see if any number of lots of alterations helps.  you can reach out to any number of professionals.  I've done the latter and have uneven success.  

 

but surely, being what you are- you'll ranger on and do wonderful compared to what you are facing.

 

we have You back!

 

well...

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBRZOAx3T4Pm7zm3Y3vdA

not exactly like that. though.

 

:)

 

 

Wait I can't live in a cave with internet?!!?!  IT'S 2019 WHY MUST WE SUFFER!!!!!!!

 

There is some general "get-shit-done" related anxiety there.  It shows up randomly but thankfully, it doesn't seem to linger overlong.  

 

Also yes I do need my spine :DDDDD

 

 

 

HI GUYS <3333  Kinda-sorta mid-week update!!  BULLET POINT STYLE:

 

- I am feeling better!  I made sure I got out a lot over the weekend, to just be outside and take photos and feed some geese and stuff.  It helps tons.

- I bought my very first plant for my deck garden!!  It's lavender and I'm going to repot it tomorrow, and put it outside this weekend when it warms up more consistently.  The deck gets full sun so I think it'll be perfect!!  I'M V EXCITED TO CULTIVATE PLANTS!!

- Today was leg day and I can finally do weighted step-ups with 15lbs in each hand and WOOOOO!  Good stuff~

- It's FINALLY ALMOST SPRING.  The mornings are still in the high 30s but once the sun comes up we get up in the 50s regularly.  By this weekend into next week we should be a little bit warmer....!  WE SURVIIIIIIIIIIIVED

 

Boring update yeah, but that's all I've got right now, ahaha~  Hope everyone's week is going well!  HAPPY MAY!!!!!!!

 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad you are feeling better, and exciting you have a plant!! Im worried mine will die while im away.... hoping we have had a bit of rain back in Manchester. 

 

Yay spring :D xx

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
14 hours ago, shaar said:

Wait I can't live in a cave with internet?!!?!  IT'S 2019 WHY MUST WE SUFFER!!!!!!!

 

Well, there are personal hotspots, but they still require cell towers, which indicate the existence of humanity........

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/1/2019 at 10:37 AM, Rinna said:

 

Well, there are personal hotspots, but they still require cell towers, which indicate the existence of humanity........

 

I'll take a tower outside my cave as long as it's just the tower itself and not like PEOPLE..............

 

On 5/1/2019 at 7:44 PM, GoodDoug said:

 

THE FUTURE

IS NOW

 

On 5/2/2019 at 10:13 PM, Cheetah said:

HAPPY SUPER LATE THURSDAY!

 

On 5/3/2019 at 6:23 AM, Salinger said:

Happy FRIDAY :D

 

xx

 

HAPPY EVERY DAY <3333 HIHIHIHIHI

 

 

HI EVERYONE sorry WOW I swear I didn't shuffle off this mortal coil or anything...

 

WHAT A WEEK.  Work was bananas 'cause we had one co-worker out on a planned vacation and another's cousin passed away unexpectedly so she was out from Tuesday morning onwards so we were HARDCORE SKELETON CREW

 

anigif_enhanced-31738-1391010205-4.gif

 

I got some good overtime and had a GREAT WEEK regardless, our boss bought us all lunch yesterday and I had some killer eggplant pizza so HELLYEAH.  I'm feeling much better about Things In General; after talking to you guys here, and specifically replying to Tank's comment, I had a big lightbulb moment as to WHY I was feeling so rushed all the time and it makes total sense.  Duh shaar.  I guess sometimes you just hafta talk it out~ <3

 

I was gonna make a pilgrimage to a local farm today that does ice cream and everything but it's STILL RAINY AND LIKE 50 DEGREES HERE SO.  Spring has been REALLY dreary guys, like cold and rainy, we've only had a few 60+ days with sun, it's draaaaaagging.  So instead I'm gonna go shopping for some spring shirts to wear to work, because I assume that SOMEDAY the sun will return and we will be warm once more......................  

 

WindingCircularAvocet-size_restricted.gi

 

Fitness is going great, I did leg day Tuesday and can now do weighted step ups with 15lbs in each hand and my balance is PERFECT and gosh I love leg day because it really pulls balance into play and I just, really dig that.  I love one legged things like one-leg RDL's and weighted step ups 'cause you've got weight in each hand and have to learn how to work that new stability onto your load-bearing foot and IT'S JUST RIGHT UP MY GOT DANG ALLEY  Last night was chest and back day, lots of bench pressing, lots of it, dumbbells AND bars, yee haw~

 

Yikes it's 11 and I gotta be ready to go by 12 so uh

 

AHAHAHA

 

HAPPY WEEKEND Y'ALL!!!!  I'll check in on everyone later today!!! <3

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now