CM packs up her troubles

[CourtnieMarie]

Challenge goals:

• one full-body weight workout per week: squats, EZ curls, cable pulldowns, and deadlifts if still alive
• 30 min running sesh per week
• keep weekly sleep average at 7h40m. TV off by 8pm for Mon-Thurs. Sunday in bed by midnight.
• One drinking weekend day - more details hopefully to come
• food – 3 weekend vegetables
• track yoga – 30mins/week; include bridges and clamshells once/week.
• survive purchase & sale

 

[Grumble]

Following!

 

6 minutes ago, CourtnieMarie said:

food – 3 weekend vegetables

As opposed to busy weekday vegetables that have to work for a living?

[Mike Wazowski]

Following! So excited for all the warriors becoming land-holding knights (and whatever the female and/or gender neutral equivalent is) these days. And for mutual support at holding s*** together when there's a lot going on.

 

Oh, and to hear the delicious magic you work with veggies.

[Harriet]

1 hour ago, CourtnieMarie said:

deadlifts if still alive

 

As opposed to dead or alive deadlifts. Wanted: deadlifts, by any means necessary. 

[Scaly Freak]

4 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

 

deadlifts if still alive

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

As opposed to dead or alive deadlifts. Wanted: deadlifts, by any means necessary. 

 

Livelifts?

[Harriet]

3 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

Livelifts?

 

Certainly, they are lively. Much more vigorous than drinking a margarita whilst floating on a giant inflatable flamingo. 

[CourtnieMarie]

10 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

Certainly, they are lively. Much more vigorous than drinking a margarita whilst floating on a giant inflatable flamingo. 

but equally as pleasing

[CourtnieMarie]

alright zero week. i need some more detail and focus.

• one drinking weekend day - more details hopefully to come
  • let's pick the drinking days shall we? 4/20; 4/28; 5/5; 5/11; and 5/19.
  • 4/29 has a work dinner so that will be an extra weekday where I likely will have a couple glasses of wine or something.
• survive purchase & sale
  • reduce student loan payments (currently paying $400 over the minimum, now only paying $200 over)
  • confirm mortgage commitment date
  • review the draft P&S with attorney
  • Sign the P&S, deposit due
  • Submit the P&S to the Lender for an Appraisal
  • work with the Lender on final documentation

 

as far as zero week goal catching, not so much yet. monday i went to the boston marathon but was in bed way before midnight. yesterday was a shitstorm of dad things and house things. luckily i had par-cooked a big batch of chicken on saturday and it was quick to finish it up last night for dinner and lunches this week. included a ton of baby carrots, mushrooms, pea pasta, and kale. note: 2 mins of pressure cooking pea pasta is a bit too long. i added a block of cream cheese to the pot after everything was in there to make the broth a creamy sauce.

 

yesterday's stress caught up to me this morning and i let myself have a little meltdown. i should have time for some yoga tonight and getting to bed early so i can run in the morning. should be nice enough to run outside!

[Grumble]

4 minutes ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yesterday's stress caught up to me this morning and i let myself have a little meltdown.

I love this. Letting yourself have a meltdown is way more important than most people get. Oh no! I had a meltdown in public because I tried to keep my shit together ALL THE TIME instead of having one in a safe space because we can't ever let ourselves be out of control. 

[CourtnieMarie]

32 minutes ago, Grumble said:

I love this. Letting yourself have a meltdown is way more important than most people get. Oh no! I had a meltdown in public because I tried to keep my shit together ALL THE TIME instead of having one in a safe space because we can't ever let ourselves be out of control. 

it's so true and should be normalized! really i should've let myself have one last night but old habits (keeping my shit together) die hard.

[Scaly Freak]

2 hours ago, Grumble said:

I love this. Letting yourself have a meltdown is way more important than most people get. Oh no! I had a meltdown in public because I tried to keep my shit together ALL THE TIME instead of having one in a safe space because we can't ever let ourselves be out of control. 

 

So very true.

 

Meltdowns are like opening the vent on a pressure cooker... something we should be in control of and do when the time is right.  

[Mike Wazowski]

Umm guys, confession - I’ve never thought of letting myself have a meltdown, period. Guess I’ve got some mental health work to do!

[JessFit]

21 hours ago, Mike Wazowski said:

Following! So excited for all the warriors becoming land-holding knights (and whatever the female and/or gender neutral equivalent is) these days.

I believe this is "Dame" but tbh I'm here for female knights! Also, I really like referring to this as "Land-holding knights." Thank you for this term.

[CourtnieMarie]

20 minutes ago, JessFit said:

I believe this is "Dame" but tbh I'm here for female knights! Also, I really like referring to this as "Land-holding knights." Thank you for this term.

yeah! knight is fine  i mean my avatar is Brienne.

[RedStone]

So 4th (or whatever) on the melt down front. It's funny that I'm at that point where I have to decide it's going to happen, but also true that if I don't allow it, it will come in a worse way/at a worse time. Mental health \o/

[CourtnieMarie]

yesterday was another crazy day. we're getting quite fed up with our lender who 1) accidentally hard pulled my credit a second time last week 2) told us we could work with the lawyer we chose 3) told us we couldn't work with the lawyer we chose but could specify the requirements 4) told us there's a work-around to use that lawyer after we had already rushed around/stressed/called 3 other firms.

 

also insurance barriers to my dad's recovery are cropping their ugly head and the family is saying well we just have to say no to the doctors if we disagree which means, I have to say no. urg.

 

anyway i did get in a few minutes of yoga last night, cooked up a hungryroot dinner, and prepped some overnight oats for the next couple bfasts this week. i also had a beer last night.

 

this morning i got up with no issues and ran 2 miles outside. it was much colder than i figured but still nice. lots of walking interspersed so it took 27 minutes.

 

Fitness: 1/1 runs, 0/1 weights, 0/1 bridges & clamshells, 8/30 yoga

Sleep: 0/1 midnight cutoff, 0/1 drinking days, current avg 7h26m

[JessFit]

I wish to send you virtual hugs because I can only imagine your stress level right now. 

[CourtnieMarie]

39 minutes ago, JessFit said:

I wish to send you virtual hugs because I can only imagine your stress level right now. 

thank you  it is indeed high. keeping up with standard self care helps!

[Harriet]

1 hour ago, CourtnieMarie said:

yesterday was another crazy day. we're getting quite fed up with our lender who 1) accidentally hard pulled my credit a second time last week 2) told us we could work with the lawyer we chose 3) told us we couldn't work with the lawyer we chose but could specify the requirements 4) told us there's a work-around to use that lawyer after we had already rushed around/stressed/called 3 other firms.

 

also insurance barriers to my dad's recovery are cropping their ugly head and the family is saying well we just have to say no to the doctors if we disagree which means, I have to say no. urg.

Wanted to laugh at the Moss gif, but this is too sucky. What exactly do you mean by insurance barrier? Does that mean his insurance won't cover appropriate treatments?

[Laghail]

[Scaly Freak]

1 hour ago, CourtnieMarie said:

thank you  it is indeed high. keeping up with standard self care helps!

 

And you're doing it for a worthy goal. A house!

 

I am impressed you managed to keep up with the self-care. I need to get better at that, so I will follow this thread so I can learn from your example in that area. (No extra pressure or stress or anything... )

[Mike Wazowski]

Hugs and lots of love, friend! Glad to hear you're finding time for self care amidst two things that would each be stressful on their own happening simultaneously.

[raptron]

GUH at the logistical pains from your lender. Get your shit together, lender! And being in the position of having to say no to health care providers isn't enviable either. BIG HUGS. Love you. 

[CourtnieMarie]

thanks all! by self care i really just mean prioritizing sleep, some movement, and time for home cooking. and some social time. these things keep me sane and rejuvenate me! as many of you already know, getting rid of food and calorie restrictions freed up much mental capacity (which of course has since been filled!). 

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

Wanted to laugh at the Moss gif, but this is too sucky.

you're allowed to laugh  i handle the BS as it comes and then realize later how crazy it all is, when i am more calm. sometimes we need Moss to balance it out.

 

2 hours ago, Harriet said:

What exactly do you mean by insurance barrier? Does that mean his insurance won't cover appropriate treatments?

that's exactly what it means. we've been through a few already and are crossing our fingers on this last ditch effort to get him into a 24/7 care facility. i shouldn't say "last ditch" because if this doesn't work there has to be some other option out there. it's just a crazy maze of detours and dead ends trying to get somewhere. i can't even imagine how people are cared for properly who don't have family members doing the back end work.

 

going to a completely separate topic, i forgot to mention something somewhat applicable that has been dogging me for a few days! on sunday, friend 1 said to friend 2: "you look skinny!" and friend 2 said "thanks!" it sent me down a bit of a spiral thinking, well i have gained lots of weight does that make me less-than friend 2? i know logically it doesn't. but it's something that nags at me and i'm sure i'm not the only one who overhears this type of comment and maybe feels poorly about themselves in the aftermath. i struggled with saying something because i have also accepted the same type of comments as compliments when i lost a bunch of weight long ago. so do i have the right to take that joy away from friend 2? how did me accepting those comments years ago affect those around me at the time? yeesh.

[Harriet]

1 hour ago, CourtnieMarie said:

that's exactly what it means. we've been through a few already and are crossing our fingers on this last ditch effort to get him into a 24/7 care facility. i shouldn't say "last ditch" because if this doesn't work there has to be some other option out there. it's just a crazy maze of detours and dead ends trying to get somewhere. i can't even imagine how people are cared for properly who don't have family members doing the back end work.

 

Damn. I don't think it's like that in other countries. What an unnecessary burden on those who are already unwell. 

 

1 hour ago, CourtnieMarie said:

going to a completely separate topic, i forgot to mention something somewhat applicable that has been dogging me for a few days! on sunday, friend 1 said to friend 2: "you look skinny!" and friend 2 said "thanks!" it sent me down a bit of a spiral thinking, well i have gained lots of weight does that make me less-than friend 2? i know logically it doesn't. but it's something that nags at me and i'm sure i'm not the only one who overhears this type of comment and maybe feels poorly about themselves in the aftermath. i struggled with saying something because i have also accepted the same type of comments as compliments when i lost a bunch of weight long ago. so do i have the right to take that joy away from friend 2? how did me accepting those comments years ago affect those around me at the time? yeesh.

 

It's hard... thinness has social currency as long as people collectively believe it does. Just like paper money has value as long as we keep acting as though it does. But if we choose a different path we have to forgo the praise and other rewards of thinness. We also get to forgo the downsides. And there are lots of other valuables to be had, such as home made beef pie and apple tart with creme fraiche and deadlift PRs, so we should hopefully be okay.