Where did all the adamantium go?

[Lara]

On 4/27/2019 at 8:55 PM, Mad Hatter said:

This makes me so happy to hear!  It's really great to see "fun" popping up in your tables.

 

Also the list of stuff that you do daily is seriously impressive. I feel so lazy now, if I can manage one or two things I call that a good day...    

Yes! Finally! There's still some fun in life  

Well, you've been doing a crazy amount of work during the winter months, which is impressive, specially because where you live winter is for real... So maybe now is your time to rest a bit?

 

On 4/27/2019 at 9:39 PM, Asa Pond said:

I don't know why, but this is legit the first time I've seen your challenge show up when I looked at the boards. 

 

Anyway - Yay! I found you!

 

I love this challenge and the idea behind it. 

Thank you! Welcome!

 

26.4.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	15' + 30'	Was very needed.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT		.
ICELANDIC
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY
OUTDOORS
READING	30' + 1h + 1h	Just ok.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	14' + cold shower (12º)	Relaxing and activating at the same time. Shower was hard, only 1 minute or maybe less.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15' + 20'	Nice. Felt relaxed afterwards.

Total time: 3h4m.

Now, for the following 2 days, I've mainly rested. On saturday morning I went to the gym for a mobility workshop they had organised, and used the train trip to read. Didn't have time for my morning routine since it was early in the morning, and then, on sunday, I didn't even remember about it. I guess I needed a rest, so nothing wrong with it.

Total time for the weekend: 2h of gym (mobility), and then lots of reading. Maybe even too much 

 

[Lara]

First week recap

 

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	22'	I've been quite reluctant to approach this. It's like I don't feel is helping right now. Maybe because I'm doing the bare minimum and that's not how I get better.
MUSIC PRACTICE	1h45m	This feels poor. It's true that I've been working on this like a crazy for the past months and done lots of progress. Maybe I needed a couple of relaxed weeks.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 1m40s 2 push-ups	Well, it's something. I also did some bar hanging at the gym (travelling and on one arm!!!). And this was all about starting, that's all.
ICELANDIC	45'	I enjoyed the time I invested on it.
WRITING	20'	Boring...
GYM	4h	Best thing this week, even if I'm starting to feel frustrated about being sore the whole time.
MOBILITY	43m	This is quite good. I didn't expect to do that much. It always ends being more relaxing than I think it will.
OUTDOORS	-	Such a pity.
READING	5h37m	This has been fun. Maybe too fun, because I'm gone from not reading at all to spend hours with my reader.
SKETCHING	-	Oups.
WH BREATHING	70m	The more I do it, the more relaxing I'm finding it. Cold showers are awful, but at least I'm not getting sick this time.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	50'	This is helping a lot. I'm enjoying it. I only do it when I feel like it, not as a routine or anything, and it is paying.

Total time:14h34m.

I'm a bit disappointed with the results, not because they're not good, but because I had the feeling I had done way more. Probably it is because of those 3 pre-challenge days when I did a lot, that lead me to think I was more active during the week, when in fact activity has diminished as the days went by. I was convinced that my yoga and music practice numbers were better, but it seems they aren't. Still, I remember that when I did my "schedule" challenge, feels like ages ago now, I considered it very successful while doing around 12 hours a week of work to improve my life. This "weak" week I've surpassed my old self by 2 hours. That's something to be proud about.

But the best part is that even when I've left some things undone (sketching, outdoors...) and I'm not happy with the amount of time I dedicated to some activities, I'm starting to build a nice comforting feeling that I'm going where I want, and not were laziness and depression push me to, and this is what I was looking for. I hope this next week I will feel even better.

[Mad Hatter]

3 hours ago, zenLara said:

Yes! Finally! There's still some fun in life  

 

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

But the best part is that even when I've left some things undone (sketching, outdoors...) and I'm not happy with the amount of time I dedicated to some activities, I'm starting to build a nice comforting feeling that I'm going where I want, and not were laziness and depression push me to, and this is what I was looking for. I hope this next week I will feel even better.

<3

 

3 hours ago, zenLara said:

 Well, you've been doing a crazy amount of work during the winter months, which is impressive, specially because where you live winter is for real... So maybe now is your time to rest a bit?

Nooo, rest is no fun!  I think it just seems like I do a lot of stuff, I spend many, many hours every day dicking around when I could be doing something slightly more productive. 

 

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

I was convinced that my yoga and music practice numbers were better, but it seems they aren't.

That's why tracking is great for accountability. Though just to be clear I still think you hold yourself to a ridiculously high standard!

[Lara]

8 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

That's why tracking is great for accountability.

This. Yes.

 

29.4.19 (week 2)

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	18'	Decided to skip the early morning short session and do a longer one later instead. Worked much better, and it helped release a lot of tension. Was a nice surprise to feel so much better after it.
MUSIC PRACTICE	55'	Not bad. Starting the week strong.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 40" + 30"	Nice.
ICELANDIC	25'	This video was more difficult than the previous ones, but time flew anyway.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	11' + 10' + 3' + 5'	Today I was having thoughts of doubt, wondering whether this is really effective.
OUTDOORS
READING	5' + 10'	I've reached a boring part in the book.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	13' + cold shower (12º)	Suuuuper relaxing today. I would have loved to stay there without breathing forever. Shower a little less awful than other days. Nice sensations afterwards. Warm.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	18' + 15'	Didn't like the guided meditation I chose for the first one. I felt calm and in peace after the second one.

Total time: 3h10m.

Did the most of my morning. Proud.

I went to the diy store and bought a couple of thin boards to practice balance at home. I've placed them in the corridor, so every time I go from one room to another I can practice. My boyfriend raised his eyebrows at first, but 2 days and he's already a fan. Haven't practice crawling yet (why oh why don't they let us rest our knees on the floor), but getting better at jumping from one to the other and at walking over them while carrying something.

 

[Endor]

I still think you're bonkers getting in a cold shower  

[Lara]

30.4.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	1h12' + 50'	One student missed her lesson and I used that free to practice.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	20" + 1 push-up	Hard.
ICELANDIC	20'	Watched again the same video. Could understand much better.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	10' + 12' + 3' + 9'	The exercises I chose today were tiring but relaxing.
OUTDOORS
READING	45' + 12' + 8 + 26' + 9' + 40'	Well. Looks like the boring part is over.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	14' + cold shower (15º)	I loved the breathing exercise today. Every time I needed to breath again I was sad because I wanted more of those sensations. Spent the cold shower in panick, but felt warm when I came out. Only cold water.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15'	It always makes me feel better to prepare breakfast while paying attention to my breath.

Total time: 5h47m. Wow.

 

[SymphonicDan]

That's excellent that you actually bought some boards from the DIY store for that!

 

"So what are you building with these?"
"IDK I'm just building a normal DIY thing, honestly!"

 

How do you measure the temperature of the cold shower?

[Lara]

6 hours ago, SymphonicDan said:

How do you measure the temperature of the cold shower?

I have a water thermometer that I place in a glass under the tap.

 

1.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	45' + 35'	Nice job done.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	20' + 20' + 20'	The fact that I seem to have taken a jump is encouraging.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	8' + 4'	Just ok. Felt like I needed a bit of rest from this.
OUTDOORS
READING	15' + 1h + 1h	Finished a short book today. Not as good as I expected given its fame, but ok.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	15' + cold shower (16º)	Less relaxing than yesterday. Shower wasn't that bad, since water was less cold.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15' + 3'	Felt quite stressed, with a shallow breath, quite high in the chest. Tried to slow it down with a breathing exercise but didn't work well.

Total time: 5h20m.

[Mad Hatter]

On 4/29/2019 at 11:54 PM, zenLara said:

I went to the diy store and bought a couple of thin boards to practice balance at home. I've placed them in the corridor, so every time I go from one room to another I can practice. My boyfriend raised his eyebrows at first, but 2 days and he's already a fan. Haven't practice crawling yet (why oh why don't they let us rest our knees on the floor), but getting better at jumping from one to the other and at walking over them while carrying something.

SUCH a fun idea!  Care to share more details about the setup?

 

Your productive hours are impressive.

[Lara]

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Care to share more details about the setup?

 

Sincerely there are no details. They are just two boards in the corridor, one after the other, with a small gap in between to practice jumping, but it's not a circuit or anything like that. I just go through the corridor by walking over them instead of using the corridor floor. With time I may buy some more and do something more creative, like putting my barefoot training box in the middle or things like that, but by now just that.

 

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Your productive hours are impressive.

Thanks! I'm quite surprised myself, to be honest  Everyday I ask myself: how long will this streak last? But I think I'm finally starting to understand how this works. Today both my mind and body were feeling tired of the new habits I'm working on and I thought that if I didn't listen I would soon find myself coming back to my old habits. So I'm trying to accept resistance and yield a bit to it so that I don't end up burnt, like so many other times. So I did less today, without any critic or regret.

 

2.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	25'	I said I'd do less. And I did less.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT		.
ICELANDIC	30' + 20'	I've started dual language reading, and it's kind of addictive. I understand way more and learn vocabulary at superspeed. I'm glad I thought of doing this.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY
OUTDOORS
READING
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	13' + cold shower (14º)	I was tense today and didn't have good sensations. This is like the third night in a row I'm having chains of nightmares and I'm not well rested, and it's starting to take its toll. Cold shower, surprisingly, was easier and I stayed a bit longer because I wanted.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	11' + 10' + 13' + 15'	Except for the last one, when I was preparing breakfast, the other three are just me trying to get back to sleep after the nightmares. I finally succeeded, and went straight into another nightmare.

Total time: 2h17m. Not bad for a lazy day. Not bad at all.

 

 

[Mad Hatter]

15 hours ago, zenLara said:

So I'm trying to accept resistance and yield a bit to it so that I don't end up burnt, like so many other times. So I did less today, without any critic or regret.  

Love this. And you still manage to be more productive than most!

[Lara]

Well, no need to copy the table today. I keep having nightmares and tonight I slept poorly again and was awake part of the night. So I got up late, arrived a bit late to work, and after lunch my eyes were so heavy I decided to take a nap, and it was a bad idea. I slept for more than 2 hours, and long naps and me we're not good friends: spent the afternoon feeling like a zombie and without any willpower whatsoever. Still, managed to practice a bit before dinner (45'), and since I was having lunch alone I worked a bit on icelandic (28'). Now I'm still tired and sleepy, but probably won't be able to sleep until late, I don't know.

Total time: 1h13m.

[Endor]

4 hours ago, zenLara said:

long naps and me we're not good friends: spent the afternoon feeling like a zombie and without any willpower whatsoever.

I'm exactly the same, makes me groggy the rest of the day so I try to avoid them. At least you got some practice and Icelandic done, that's good under the circumstances  

[WhiteGhost]

7 hours ago, zenLara said:

long naps and me we're not good friends

I have this problem too.  If I take a nap longer than about 10-15 minutes or so, I feel groggy for the rest of the day and can't fall asleep at night and it throws my whole sleep schedule off for a few days.

[Lara]

7 hours ago, Endor said:

I'm exactly the same, makes me groggy the rest of the day so I try to avoid them.

 

4 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I have this problem too.  If I take a nap longer than about 10-15 minutes or so, I feel groggy for the rest of the day and can't fall asleep at night and it throws my whole sleep schedule off for a few days.

I'm glad I'm not the only one having problems with long naps. My boyfriend is an expert on day sleeping and he finds it difficult to understand me when I say how much I dislike them.

Good thing is there were no nightmares tonight.

 

I've started to listen to podcasts in icelandic, through the day, but I'm not sure whether I should count them as actual study time. I mean, is not like I sit down to listen and pay attention, is just that I play them while I'm doing chores or walking to a store or things like that. I'm just trying to get more exposure to how the language sounds. If I count them as study time it will raise my week hours to the infinite.

[Mad Hatter]

Glad you got better sleep tonight!

 

I’m the same with long naps, but I do like a short nap or even just lying down for a bit and not worrying about falling asleep. But then I always set a timer for 30-40 minutes so I don’t end up fucking up my sleep schedule too much. I don’t often do it but especially when I train twice a day it’s an amazing reset.

 

4 hours ago, zenLara said:

If I count them as study time it will raise my week hours to the infinite.

Well technically only to 168 hours assuming you don’t sleep.  

[Lara]

5 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

Well technically only to 168 hours assuming you don’t sleep.

Exactly. And doesn't infinite start at 169?

 

4.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	15'	Oh, my neck. Not fun.  But it was relaxing. Meditated afterwards to increase the sense of calm.
MUSIC PRACTICE	1h	A bit discouraged today. My pianist is probably going to work somewhere else next year. Makes me sad to lose her, and the work I've been doing feels pointless suddenly.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 30" + 30" + 20" + 1 push-up	Checked that I can do 1 minute (30+30) if only I rest a few seconds in between, success!
ICELANDIC	45'	Fun! (and 2h30' of unintentional listening).
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	10' + 2'	After these days, my neck is angry.
OUTDOORS	1h30'	Feeling sleepy before I left. Lazy, too. But the other alternative was to stay alone at home, doing what? Went to the country and walked uphill for about 45 minutes, then come back calmly. It was very nice. Weather was perfect: warm not hot, blue sky, lots of colors, soft breeze moving the leaves.
READING	15' + 10' + 10'	Began a new book. I still don't know what to think of it. Anyway, didn't feel boring.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	13' + cold shower (16º)	Unfocused, impatient, but satisfying: I'm still in bed and I've already done something. Shower was weird, pleasant and awful at the same time.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15' + 15' + 10'	Feeling calm afterwards.

Total time: 5h12m. Great day. Specially proud of the walk, since there was a lot of resistance to go out.

Might read a bit more before bed.

 

[WhiteGhost]

11 hours ago, zenLara said:

Feeling sleepy before I left. Lazy, too. But the other alternative was to stay alone at home, doing what?

Love this mindset

[Lara]

5.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	40'	A bit tired today, in general, so it was difficult to keep focus.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	3 push-ups	Haaaaarrrrrdddd.
ICELANDIC	10' + 28' + 8' + 8'	Fun. Interesting. Also, 2h15m of unintentional listening.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	8' + 3'	Always more tiring and more relaxing than I expect.
OUTDOORS
READING	10'	I don't know whether to keep reading this book or switch to a different one...
SKETCHING	20'	Fun and frustrating at the same time.
WH BREATHING	15' + cold shower (14º)	Intense and relaxing. Cold shower went well. I don't use hot water anymore unless I wash my hair.
BREATHING. MEDITATION

Total time: 2h30m. Had planned to do many things today, but in the end stayed shirking in bed until late.

 

[Lara]

Second week recap

 

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	33'	I don't know. It's an activity that has always been useful and enjoyable, but somehow I don't seem to find the time for it. Those 2 times I managed to find the time the sensations afterwards were amazing. Did some more than the past week, anyway.
MUSIC PRACTICE	7h55m	Now we're talking. Rewarding.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 2m50s 5 push-ups	I am faaaar far away from my goals here. Dead hang comes easier, but push-ups...
ICELANDIC	4h42	Awesome! (And another 4h45 of listening!)
WRITING	-	-
GYM	-	Was closed this week because holidays in the city.
MOBILITY	1h38m	Not bad, taking in account that it is a new thing, but I'm wondering if less than 2 hours a week are enough to attain something.
OUTDOORS	1h30m	I loved this.
READING	5h35m	I'm not enjoying the current book as much as some of the previous ones.
SKETCHING	20'	If it is so fun, why do I have this enormous resistance to do it? Same for going outside.
WH BREATHING	1h38m	Some days feel a bit boring, but when sensations get intense it becomes addictive.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	2h20m	To be honest, I didn't think this habit would stick, but here we are.

Total time: 26h14m. Almost 3 hours a day of me time!! Success!!

Most of the things are on a roll, but there are a few that don't seem to be working. I'm feeling a lot of resistance to start writing, and also to sketch and do yoga. I feel resistance to do other things too, but those others I do them anyway. Maybe I just need some more time, I'm doing quite a lot already.

What I want to remark this week is how almost all activities went up, regarding the time invested in them, if we except the gym, that was closed so not my responsibility, and reading that stays the same.

[WhiteGhost]

4 hours ago, zenLara said:

Fun and frustrating at the same time. 

This is my feeling about sketching too

 

[Mad Hatter]

 

15 hours ago, zenLara said:

Maybe I just need some more time, I'm doing quite a lot already.

I'm glad you've at least realised this  That's an impressive number of hours!

 

15 hours ago, zenLara said:

If it is so fun, why do I have this enormous resistance to do it?

Probably because of the frustrating parts of sketching! It's also very normal to not want to leave your comfy space. It's kinda funny tough that once we take the step it usually turns out to be fun or at least not anywhere near as bad as we make it out to be.

[Lara]

Let's start third week...

 

6.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	50'	Productive. Progress is accumulating.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 30" + 40" + 20" 2 push-ups	I'm not enjoying these too much by now. I try to focus on the future rewards.
ICELANDIC	11'	I can't believe I'm reading an actual book  Almost 2 hours of listening.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	12' + 5' + 7' + 2' + 5' + 5'	Released a lot of tension. Cramps when doing feet exercises.
OUTDOORS
READING	5'	Probably should drop the book.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	15' + cold shower (14º)	So relaxing. I want more. Hands and feet hurt in the shower but it wasn't so unpleasant, maybe I'm getting used.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15'	Unfocused, but breathing was easier than other days.

Total time: 2h14m. Not bad for the first day. 

I'm starting to notice that I'm in a better mood. Maybe it's the cold water, maybe the fact that I spent most of my time being active, maybe that I feel productive and in progress... or maybe it's just that spring is here.

[WhiteGhost]

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

I'm starting to notice that I'm in a better mood. Maybe it's the cold water, maybe the fact that I spent most of my time being active, maybe that I feel productive and in progress... or maybe it's just that spring is here.

Maybe a combination of everything 

 

[Lara]

21 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

Maybe a combination of everything 

 

Most surely, yes  Spring is always such a beautiful and easy time anyway...

 

 

7.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	30'	Short time but focused.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 30" + 40" + 30" + 20" 1 push-up	Hands are still too tender. I like hanging. I don't like pushing.
ICELANDIC	10'	Not much time, but always fun (+ 1h of listening).
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	12' + 2'	So hard and tiring.
OUTDOORS	1h	Decided to sacrifice part of my music practice to go outside, but there was so much resistance to go out that anxiety raised up to the top. I was almost crying when I left the appartment but decided I wouldn't yield to anxiety sensations. Didn't feel much like walking, so spent most of the time sitting in the sun and enjoying the warmth and the sounds.  Totally worth it.
READING	10'	Meh.
SKETCHING	10'	I'm such a disaster! But I don't care.
WH BREATHING	15' + cold shower (14º)	Nice. After the shower, nice sensations of coolness.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15'	Just fine, nothing special. Breathing was easier than other days.

Total time: 2h36.