Where did all the adamantium go?

[Endor]

On 5/4/2019 at 7:03 PM, zenLara said:

I've started to listen to podcasts in icelandic, through the day, but I'm not sure whether I should count them as actual study time. I mean, is not like I sit down to listen and pay attention, is just that I play them while I'm doing chores or walking to a store or things like that. I'm just trying to get more exposure to how the language sounds. If I count them as study time it will raise my week hours to the infinite.

My French improved tenfold when I watched only French TV but that's a bit easier to get the gist of than just audio. I'm sure it will be helping a lot though. 

[Endor]

On 5/7/2019 at 6:03 PM, zenLara said:

spring is here

Have the swifts arrived yet?

[Lara]

10 minutes ago, Endor said:

My French improved tenfold when I watched only French TV but that's a bit easier to get the gist of than just audio. I'm sure it will be helping a lot though. 

Tv makes it easier, but listening is something I can do almost anytime, while to watch tv I'd had to sit down. This way, I just have some podcast in the background and at the end of the day I've listened to at least one whole program. I'm happy that after a few days my ears are getting used and I hear a lot of words separately and clearly. Only that I don't know what the words mean, haha, but it's a step.

 

12 minutes ago, Endor said:

Have the swifts arrived yet?

Yes! A first brave group arrived a few weeks ago, but it's been this week when they have all gathered 

[Captainfantastic]

On 4/20/2019 at 4:36 AM, zenLara said:

I'm not waiting until monday. I'll use these two days to see how I feel about tracking all this.

 

19.4.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	5'	Feeling lazy at the beginning. At the end, body felt nice from having moved.
MUSIC PRACTICE
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	20'	The video was open in one of my tabs so I played it without much thinking. I enjoyed it because I could understand almost everything (with subs). I didn't know all the vocabulary but could deduce most of the unknown words from context. Feeling proud afterwards.
WRITING	15'	I thought the exercise was silly and that I didn't know how to do it anyway. While writing, the main thought was that it was cheesy. Reading it when finished made me think it was a bit funny and made me chuckle.
GYM
STRETCHING	2'	Did them during with yoga, so same reflection. Neck and shoulders.
OUTDOORS	1h	Before I left I was feeling bored and anxious. I had began to numbly refresh NF site. During the walk I felt really good, the air was cold but nice. There was a storm that gave interesting colors to the fields and the sky. Coming back I was tired but in better mood.
READING	10'	Unsure about reading before bed. I want to like the book I'm reading, but the writing style is sticky. I blame the translator, sincerely. Afterwards, once again, liking the story and the characters but hating the style. Still, was nice.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING
BREATHING. MEDITATION

Total time: 1h52.

Also did some chores and most of the time spent at the computer was at the low table.

 

I don't know about the table format... I need to use a small font to avoid using a lot of space, but maybe is not comfortable to read this way. What do you think, guys? Is it better if I forget the boxes and just write?

I just checked on my phone and doesn't feel supersmall, but both there and at the computer I have a feeling of relief in my eyes when I come back to the normal font.

Cheesy writing(Especially when it's something you don't usually do) can be very relieving. Even if you know the whole time that you're writing something silly, finish it anyway.  You're doing really well and i LOVE the idea of noting how you feel after you've done things. 

[NeverThatBored]

Lara - I had no idea you had a challenge thread this time!! Hi! 

 

I always find your challenges so thoughtful and inspiring. I had a really good time reading through your progress tables just now - they paint such a beautiful picture of how to pay attention to your instincts! 

[Endor]

What's the book you're reading at the moment?

[Lara]

22 hours ago, Captainfantastic said:

Even if you know the whole time that you're writing something silly, finish it anyway. 

Yeah, this. Finishing. I do have a problem with that. Well, who doesn't?

Welcome, Captain!

 

20 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

Lara - I had no idea you had a challenge thread this time!! Hi! 

 

I always find your challenges so thoughtful and inspiring. I had a really good time reading through your progress tables just now - they paint such a beautiful picture of how to pay attention to your instincts! 

I wasn't sure about starting one, but it seems is doing me good. Yay NF!

I'd like to read all the tables in one sitting when the challenge finishes, to see if my perspective has changed and how much. The goal is not to do the things as much as to enjoy them and be aware of that enjoyment.

I've seen you keep doing all the things, by the way  That little ranger brain of yours.

[Lara]

12 hours ago, Endor said:

What's the book you're reading at the moment?

My main book right now is the first novel of The expanse series. I decided to start it because I had watched part of the tv show and I liked the story but not the way it was filmed, so I thought of reading the books. The things is, the book is not adding any complexities to the story I have watched, characters don't seem to have further development, and the story runs exactly in parallel to the story in the show, which makes me think the tv show makers did a good job, but that the book is a bit dry (to me). I don't know if I should keep reading to see whether it gets better, or at least until I arrive to the parts I haven't watched.

I'm alternating it with Shermer's Why do people believe weird things, but I don't have an opinion on this one, I'm still reading the numerous neverending prologues.

[Lara]

8.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE	30' + 30'	Focused. Tiring. Rewarding.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	23'	Ohmygod, I'm reading. Actually reading. I thought I'd never reach this point (and 1h30m of listening)
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	15' + 5'	Relaxing.
OUTDOORS
READING
SKETCHING	8'	I'm terrible
WH BREATHING	15' (didn't measure water temperature)	Breathing exercise was intense, pleasant, relaxing. Shower was intense, but not pleasant or relaxng, ha. I was in great mood afterwards, I felt a lot of tension flowing out, and I had a very nice coolness sensation in my legs.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15'	Just fine.

Total time: 2h21m. Not bad, not bad.

I'm trying to find some sort of yoga program I can follow. I think I'd like some order, some direction, instead of doing random vids. I think that having a goal for this would help right now, but paying options are quite expensive.

[Waanie]

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

Ohmygod, I'm reading. Actually reading. I thought I'd never reach this point (and 1h30m of listening) 

That's amazing ! 

 

2 hours ago, zenLara said:

I'm trying to find some sort of yoga program I can follow. I think I'd like some order, some direction, instead of doing random vids. I think that having a goal for this would help right now, but paying options are quite expensive.

There's a lot of 30-day youtube programs around. For me it was about eliminating choice, so I started with the one of Bad Yogi (which are 10-20 minute videos), but also Yoga with Adrienne, Tim Senesi and others have free 30-day challenges. I spread the videos out more, but it is still nice to not have to choose anything whenever I want to do yoga. You could make it a goal to a number of videos per week, or to finish a 30-day program within x weeks, etc.

[Lara]

45 minutes ago, Waanie said:

There's a lot of 30-day youtube programs around. For me it was about eliminating choice, so I started with the one of Bad Yogi (which are 10-20 minute videos), but also Yoga with Adrienne, Tim Senesi and others have free 30-day challenges. I spread the videos out more, but it is still nice to not have to choose anything whenever I want to do yoga. You could make it a goal to a number of videos per week, or to finish a 30-day program within x weeks, etc.

Bad Yogi vids are my favourites! I've gone through Motz's original 30-day challenge several times. I've used other vids but I always come back to those ones, I find her nice.

The thing is, I'd like to work mainly on flexibility/mobility and inversions, but what I've usually found are single vids, where you start with a simple table top and 5 minutes later, voilà, we're in a headstand! I'd like to find something with sequences to improve some poses, progressions where you can start from an easy pose like downward dog and end up achieving, after some weeks or months of work, a handstand. Explained progressions, how to work gradually on backbends, forward folds, etc. This way I could keep using my favourite "full body" vids but also work some specific things I'd like to improve that don't usually appear on those videos (or appear marginally). I understand that such a work on the side of the instructor must be rewarded, but I didn't expect programs to be so expensive, to be honest. I guess I could do it myself, search and pinpoint vids that have the contents I'm looking for and then put them in order so I can work slowly towards the more difficult poses, but as you say, there is so much choice that it feels overwhelming, so that's maybe a task to leave for the summer.

[NeverThatBored]

6 hours ago, zenLara said:

Ohmygod, I'm reading. Actually reading. I thought I'd never reach this point (and 1h30m of listening) 

 

 

That's awesome!! 

[Lara]

1 hour ago, NeverThatBored said:

That's awesome!! 

[Captainfantastic]

13 hours ago, zenLara said:

Yeah, this. Finishing. I do have a problem with that. Well, who doesn't?

 Welcome, Captain!

Thank you!

[WhiteGhost]

19 hours ago, zenLara said:

I'm terrible

At least you are doing it though...

[Waanie]

How about the challenges of reddit's /r/flexibility? I don't know how good they are, but they seem comprehensive and have weekly exercises that progress towards the goal of the month. I also remember there being some past mini-challenges of the assassins of all kinds of skills. I think that a lot of free resources are out there, but it is very hard to determine how good they are.

[Lara]

1 hour ago, Waanie said:

How about the challenges of reddit's /r/flexibility? I don't know how good they are, but they seem comprehensive and have weekly exercises that progress towards the goal of the month. I also remember there being some past mini-challenges of the assassins of all kinds of skills. I think that a lot of free resources are out there, but it is very hard to determine how good they are.

Thanks for the link! I'll take a look at them this weekend.

[Lara]

A couple of lazy-busy days...

9&10.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	10 minutes of listening each day
WRITING
GYM	2h	Good.
MOBILITY	4 short minutes on thursday, but then 1 of my hours at the gym on friday was mobility	Progress in the neck/shoulders area.
OUTDOORS
READING	30' - 1h	Seems I'm going to keep the book by now.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	16' + 16' shower 16º and 14º	Breathing is getting more and more relaxing. Showers are beginning to be almost enjoyable. Almost.
BREATHING. MEDITATION

Total time: 50m + 3h16m.

When the animal flow class ended yesterday, the trainer told a couple of guys and me that we're getting better and almost there to make it to the next level since we execute the moves quite correctly, but that we don't have enough strength and stamina to go through short flows and that's limiting us... and that best way to get better at something is to practice that something *sighs*

WhiteGhost, we finally learnt the front kick through! The guy explained it in two separate steps and now it feels silly that I couldn't do it easily before. I don't have that sensation anymore that I have too many limbs 

[Lara]

Not a very active day yesterday...

11.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA
MUSIC PRACTICE
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	45 minutes of listening	I hope I'll start understanding more than random words soon.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	9'	Not bad. Trying to remember the positions/moves that lead to improve neck.
OUTDOORS
READING	1h	Story is getting better.
SKETCHING
WH BREATHING	18' shower 17º	Excellent breathing exercise. Water felt very cold at the beginning, but after a while it was ok.
BREATHING. MEDITATION

Total time: 1h27m. I was feeling very tired after the gym session on friday, soreness was starting to appear, and early in the morning my boyfriend said we should go clothes shopping, and so the day was doomed from the start.

[WhiteGhost]

20 hours ago, zenLara said:

WhiteGhost, we finally learnt the front kick through! The guy explained it in two separate steps and now it feels silly that I couldn't do it easily before. I don't have that sensation anymore that I have too many limbs 

They are so weird.  The first few times I tried them I could not figure out how in the world my leg was supposed to get past my arms, but once I figured it out it felt quite natural.  Still pretty tiring though!

[Lara]

3 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

Still pretty tiring though!

Yeah, it was one of the reasons why he said we lack stamina. A few of them and we were all burnt

[Ensi]

Following my fav Wolverine!

 

 

... from a safe distance, of course

 

I like your challenge, it's good to actually think about how your activities truly affect how you feel! You might find some things better for you than you imagined, and maybe identify some things that don't work as well as you thought. Happy to tag along and see how it goes

[Lara]

1 hour ago, Ensi said:

Following my fav Wolverine!

 

 

1 hour ago, Ensi said:

... from a safe distance, of course

 

1 hour ago, Ensi said:

it's good to actually think about how your activities truly affect how you feel! You might find some things better for you than you imagined, and maybe identify some things that don't work as well as you thought

The problem I'm having right now is that everything feels a bit blah, and that I'm not sure I'm actually enjoying the things I do. It's like I feel so numb everything is dull. So the idea was to try to reinforce feelings, any of them, and to know whether I'm spending my life on things that are worth it. I'm not sure if I'm being successful because, checking my tables, some days what it seems I've been doing is more an evaluation of doing more/less, and focusing on the progress or results of the activities, instead of analyzing my feelings while doing the thing or afterwards. I guess that happens because sometimes I don't really know what I'm feeling, or I can only notice it after some time has passed. For example, I don't really know what I feel about my music practice, working out, meditation, or the mobility time. I just do those things because I said I would do them, and then I comment on how it went, but I don't seem to have a clear sensation of like-dislike/fun-boring, I stay more in the useful-useless/focused-unfocused. Others are easier: sketching is fun/frustrating, learning icelandic is fun (although this is the first time is not being frustrating also), going oudoors is stressful/nice, and WH breathing is nice and relaxing.

Hmmm. Maybe you didn't need such a detailed explanation... Let's say it's my third week recap.

 

12.5.19

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	23'	I did some searching and I think I know what I want to do. Or at least I have a better idea.
MUSIC PRACTICE	37' + 23'	Tired. Unmotivated (more on the recap later).
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT
ICELANDIC	12'	Reading. And 40' of listening.
WRITING
GYM
MOBILITY	20' + 6'	I'm trying to make my bf do the stretches too, and today he agreed to a long session. Less relaxing than other days.
OUTDOORS
READING	7' + 10' + 10' + 20'	Starting to enjoy a bit more the story, because is deviating from what I've watched.
SKETCHING	7'	Maybe I should let that poor cat rest and try other things.
WH BREATHING	18' + 9' shower 16º	Wellbeing. So much that I repeated it later in the morning. Shower is not nice, but I can stay there longer.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	15'	Totally unfocused.

Total time: 3h37m.

[Lara]

Third week recap

 

ACTIONS	TIME SPENT	SENSATIONS AND FEELINGS
YOGA	23'	I think I like it when I do it, but it feels so hard to start.
MUSIC PRACTICE	3h20m	At least this week I know how I feel about this: discouraged. The news my pianist gave me have taken a toll bigger than I expected.
HANGING. PUSHING. WORKING OUT	dead hang 3'30" 3 push-ups	Yeah, I'm supposed to be doing this... I forgot about it for the last 5 days. I guess it's not very motivating right now, even when I think I want to do it because I want to get better for those MovNat classes.
ICELANDIC	56'	I'm amazed at this. I find barely no resistance to get to work. I'm having a lot of fun, and every time I find I understand a passage, or some sentences is like a party for my brain.
WRITING	-	I think it is quite obvious by now that this is not going to happen. Maybe something for later. Maybe I've got enough with what I'm doing.
GYM	2h	To be honest, I didn't want to go this friday. I was tired and stressed, but forced myself to go. Worth it, as always.
MOBILITY	1h49m	I don't always feel like doing it, and sometimes I feel good doing them and other moments I'm bored. But it let's a lot of tension go away, so seems something that can be good in the long run, not only for the mobility itself.
OUTDOORS	1h	It was so nice. I should repeat it to myself every hour of every day: you love to be outside, don't let anxiety tell you otherwise.
READING	3h35	I have ups and downs depending on what I'm reading.
SKETCHING	25'	I'm starting to feel less resistance towards this. I guess it's because I'm accepting whatever comes out of the pen.
WH BREATHING	2h2m	I definitely like this. It's getting better and better as the days go by. I like to feel warm under the blanket, with all those tingles, feeling my lungs at rest.
BREATHING. MEDITATION	1h	I don't know why, but lately I find it like a total burden to prepare breakfast, and this seems to be like a first aid kit.

Total time: 14h35m. Obviously, this week every area went down in matters of time, because the 26 hours I spent on me time last week are probably a record that will take time to repeat itself. But I can say that I've seen my levels of satisfaction go up:

 

1) I've sat down, thanks to the conversation with Waanie, to think what is not working about yoga, and I've decided to switch by now to Briohny Smyth vids, and to combine beginner/intemediate flows with her series to build handstands or her crow pose vids.

 

2) Reading is not a problem when I like the book. Or yes, because then I read too much.

 

3) The two activities that make me smile the most are icelandic and sketching.

 

4) Gym classes are always always always worth it. People aren't very chatty, but I'm starting to feel at ease.

 

5) Mobility is worth it. It's hard, and I'm not sure I like it, but I'm sure my body is going to appreciate what I'm doing.

 

6) I have to go outside more. I don't know why I have so much resistance against it. All my thoughts are of the negative sort: it's going to be boring (it's never boring), it's already 15 minutes of walking to arrive to the countryside (15 minutes are such a loooong time), there will be too much people around because it's sunday (sure, if 1 person, half a dog and a parked car at the start of the fields are too much people, then there's too much people of course). When I come back it's all the opposite. The colors, the wind, the smells, the bugs, the warmth of the sun or the coolness of the rain, or the darkness of the storm... everything feels perfect to me every time, and yet, I try to keep myself away from that.

 

7) WH is getting better. And when WH gets better, everything in my life gets better.

[Waanie]

11 hours ago, zenLara said:

But I can say that I've seen my levels of satisfaction go up:

That is great . I think it is not bad to do things just because they are useful, especially if you don't dislike them. You also don't need to be super-enthusiastic about cooking and cleaning in order to do them. At the end of the day, you feel better about having done it, and I think it is the same for you with e.g. mobility exercises and music practice.