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It's a story as old as time... Respawning!

 

I am starting this challenge a little late, so I will use it to build up good tools and habits, so I can be at 100% for the next challenge! 

 

I am really working on myself right now, focusing on building out a better person both at work and in my personal life, and while learning about growth mindset, realized that I had gone into a place where I had neglected my body, and moved back to thinking that "nothing could be changed, I will stay this shape forever, this is my destiny". 

But how can I hope to change my mental habits and think I cannot change my physical aspect as well?

 

So, I am trying again! 

I will start slow, build habits, focus on not being miserable, doing thing for ME and having an actually inspirational goal, not something I think I may be able to achieve but not really want. 

So for this time, I am deeply focusing on myself and thinking about what I REALLY WANT, versus what I hide myself behind. 

 

3 goals for these 2 weeks to prep (goals 1 are for week 3, to be done by May 12th and goals 2 by the end of the challenge!).

 

1- Get inspired - really think about what I want to look like. The styles I like (not the styles I have to wear because of my body shape), the clothes I always wanted to wear. Also think about makeup, hair and nails, which I can start doing immediately! 

---> Goal 1: identify styles I like in magazines - cut out 5-7 pictures

---> Goal 2: find pictures of people I like and want to emulate - cut out and put on the walls 2-3 pictures

 

2- Establish habits - for nutrition and for moving. I've let my diet go, to the point that my diet is now "whatever I want to eat". Let me tell you, I want to eat chocolate more often than vegetables. So this is where I start watching meal-prep videos and how to swap carbs-heavy meals with healthier (but still happy) alternatives. 

---> Goal 1: Re-balance diet: go back to eating from noon (1145) to 10pm, and eat vegetables and/or fruits with every meal

---> Goal 2: start meal prepping again, in order to eat outside less and facilitate goal 1

 

3- Track things and adjust, in order to stay happy - The best indicator of me actually investing in myself is the time I dedicate to thinking about it and tracking to make sure I actually do the things, but don't get too crazy. And I know that if I start slow and build momentum, I will continue and actually get to a great place. 4 years ago I was eating paleo and mostly carb-free. This seems far away from an all choco diet, but I can slowly go back to it. I KNOW I CAN. 

---> Goal 1: track all that I eat and my workouts in a Google spreadsheet (the sheet is built!)

---> Goal 2: Establish goals for eating (using Weight Watchers Points) and for exercising (keeping in mind all of the things that Staci told me AND my preferences)

 

Let's start our journey again - this time I am bringing with me a positive spirit and a desire to celebrate small wins. Let's go! :) 

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Update at the end of the first half week!

 

Results are mixed:

- I progressed a lot in re-establishing good habits

- I also overate again, fueled by negative feelings

- I read more about these negative feelings and how to better manage them

- I am trying to live with courage rather than in fear

- Also, I found an example of inspiration of what I want to look like. But it turns out it's a (very feminine) guy. He does have the body composition I like (also the clothing style) so I might stick with him, since I don't feel yet comfortable with a very feminine look, which is often present in spring / summer for women

- I am tracking! I gave up for a couple days while I was overeating, but I am back at it again! 

- I am using motivational mantras in the morning and at night in order to remind myself of who I want to be (e.g., someone who chooses courage over comfort) and it seems to help

 

Overall, I am celebrating the progress I am making and trying to remind myself to push when I can and to also rest when I need it. Mindset is important, so I am focusing on that and leveraging everything I can find, even the things I used to think (judgmentally, without thinking) that sounded "gimmicky". 

 

And I discovered I love wearing bright colors! I was only hiding myself and wearing black in an attempt to hide my extra kilos, but I am trying to wear brighter clothes that make me happy. 

I think I am trying to please myself rather than all of the other people. only took three decades to learn that lesson! :D

 

 

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Hello again, and welcome back. Good to see you again, and looks like you have a solid plan for moving forward. 

 

On 5/7/2019 at 10:05 PM, Asuka said:

Also, I found an example of inspiration of what I want to look like. But it turns out it's a (very feminine) guy. He does have the body composition I like (also the clothing style) so I might stick with him, since I don't feel yet comfortable with a very feminine look, which is often present in spring / summer for women

 

If that's what you want to look like, I wouldn't think the gender of the goal is important, long as it makes you happy and comfortable. 

 

On 5/7/2019 at 10:05 PM, Asuka said:

And I discovered I love wearing bright colors! I was only hiding myself and wearing black in an attempt to hide my extra kilos, but I am trying to wear brighter clothes that make me happy. 

 

The clothes make the person. :) Good to have external reminders of why you like yourself. 

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On 5/8/2019 at 4:05 AM, Asuka said:

 

And I discovered I love wearing bright colors! I was only hiding myself and wearing black in an attempt to hide my extra kilos, but I am trying to wear brighter clothes that make me happy. 

 

yaaaay! bring back colours!!!

 

and very good job at addressing your feelings and trying to better your habbits!

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On 5/10/2019 at 10:55 PM, Manarelle said:

Hello again, and welcome back. Good to see you again, and looks like you have a solid plan for moving forward. 

If that's what you want to look like, I wouldn't think the gender of the goal is important, long as it makes you happy and comfortable. 

The clothes make the person. :) Good to have external reminders of why you like yourself. 

Hi Manarelle! Nice to see you too and amazed by your progression on Thor! 

I tried to look for female inspiration too, if only because I want to learn to be more feminine after shunning it for most of my life (in reality because I could not find feminine clothes which fit me). I want to find people whose style I find inspiring, yet real and attainable, and cute! 

 

"External reminders of why you like yourself" - it took a while for me to get there, but I am there now! Super cute nail polish (I make my nails by myself) are super strong reminders right now. I am building up the courage to find clothes I like to wear, I am proud to wear and which, by extension, will not make me hidden!

 

On 5/13/2019 at 5:28 AM, Norgaard said:

yaaaay! bring back colours!!!

and very good job at addressing your feelings and trying to better your habbits!

hahahah Thanks Norgaard! 

Colors and happy designs make me soooooooooo happy it turns out! At first I was feeling judged when looked at, and now I'm just thinking "They are looking at me because I look awesome!" and it helps propel me forward!

Image result for digital wolf tshirt

This is an example of my favorite t-shirt right now. Can't go to work with it (too bad), but I go to dance class, and I feel BADASS while dancing! It eve helps me push through difficult moments in the dance, so I feel I am dancing better too! #cannothidewillnothide

 

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Welll I have a multicolored t-shirt with all the original pokemons on it :D ill get you a picture!

I like that one you showed!!! wear it with pride!

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On 5/18/2019 at 12:09 AM, Norgaard said:

Welll I have a multicolored t-shirt with all the original pokemons on it :D ill get you a picture!

I like that one you showed!!! wear it with pride!

YES!! Definitely send a picture! I love Pokemon too, but the Pokemon TM tshirts are (for the moment!) too small for me - at least the ones I can find in Asia. But as soon as I fit in one, you better expect me to wear one too!

 

I feel happy in this tshirt! It is currently too big for me (their sizes are wonky - 2XL is too small, 3XL looks like a tent), but the tent-like size is good for dancing because of all the movements we do. 

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