Curiosity Killed the Cataleya, but Satisfaction Brought Her Back

[Cataleya]

Hey all.

 

I've been gone for a while. I actually don't even remember what my last update was. I'm tenure track and doing well at work. My relationship is going well; we are almost at the one year anniversary of our wedding. My family is doing mostly fine, though there is some large drama surrounding my grandmother's will that's still going on but largely doesn't involve me. So things are going okay.

 

But I've gained a lot of weight back, I am still struggling with my hypothyroidism and PCOS and the shitty doctors that come with them, I am having severe cognitive dissonance about eating meat, I'm feeling oddly guilty about finally being solidly middle class and wondering where my place is in the world, and my partner's grandparent has cancer and will be gone in 6-18 months, which has resparked my existential terror and a new fear of getting old and sick and having no family (read: children) to help me out.

 

So I realized I just do better with all of you. You're patient and kind and supportive, but also able to tell me when I'm misstepping. You hear me out and don't judge me for my stupid fears. So that assassin chick you kinda like is back. I'm going to casually post around until the next challenge, and then start out small. Because I need small wins. I gotta work through all this shit, and you're the best people to help. You guys are my family.

 

So. Y'know. Hi.

[Diadhuit]

Hey all.
 
I've been gone for a while. I actually don't even remember what my last update was. I'm tenure track and doing well at work. My relationship is going well; we are almost at the one year anniversary of our wedding. My family is doing mostly fine, though there is some large drama surrounding my grandmother's will that's still going on but largely doesn't involve me. So things are going okay.
 
But I've gained a lot of weight back, I am still struggling with my hypothyroidism and PCOS and the shitty doctors that come with them, I am having severe cognitive dissonance about eating meat, I'm feeling oddly guilty about finally being solidly middle class and wondering where my place is in the world, and my partner's grandparent has cancer and will be gone in 6-18 months, which has resparked my existential terror and a new fear of getting old and sick and having no family (read: children) to help me out.
 
So I realized I just do better with all of you. You're patient and kind and supportive, but also able to tell me when I'm misstepping. You hear me out and don't judge me for my stupid fears. So that assassin chick you kinda like is back. I'm going to casually post around until the next challenge, and then start out small. Because I need small wins. I gotta work through all this shit, and you're the best people to help. You guys are my family.
 
So. Y'know. Hi.

Hello! And welcome back!
Was being summoned after my question that sparkled the return? If so, I feel the responsibility to be supportive [emoji5]
I didn't realise how similar we are: life overall good, PCOS, hypothyroidism, internal clock ticking, middle-class guilt (I'm buying a house now), existential terror! That is basically me (lest being in a relationship, that makes the clock scream harder)!
Anyway, welcome back, and good luck!

[Wobbegong]

5 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I'm going to casually post around until the next challenge, and then start out small. Because I need small wins.

I mean, you could always do what I'm doing this respawn and just start a short one week challenge to build some momentum... c'mon, anyone can do a week... *nudge, nudge* 

 

Lol jk, poke around, get back in the swing of things, do it your way. We're here for you and happy to have you back! 

[Cataleya]

Hello! And welcome back!
Was being summoned after my question that sparkled the return? If so, I feel the responsibility to be supportive [emoji5]
I didn't realise how similar we are: life overall good, PCOS, hypothyroidism, internal clock ticking, middle-class guilt (I'm buying a house now), existential terror! That is basically me (lest being in a relationship, that makes the clock scream harder)!
Anyway, welcome back, and good luck!

Sort of! I have been considering coming back for a bit but when I got pinged I figured it was a sign.

And yeah, it does sound like we're in a similar spot! If you have ideas on how you've been dealing with all of it, I'd love to hear them.

I mean, you could always do what I'm doing this respawn and just start a short one week challenge to build some momentum... c'mon, anyone can do a week... *nudge, nudge* 
 
Lol jk, poke around, get back in the swing of things, do it your way. We're here for you and happy to have you back! 

I considered it, and then decided to do more planning instead so I knew going into it what goals I should have without overdoing it. I love making themed challenges but sometimes overdoing it. I'm glad to be back though!

[Diadhuit]

And yeah, it does sound like we're in a similar spot! If you have ideas on how you've been dealing with all of it, I'd love to hear them.

Meditation and counselling seems to be my way. Because never underestimate the power of stress when accumulating fat on the belly and you already know how that and PCOS goes hand in hand.
I cannot take any hormonal pill as I'm prone to clotting. So that bumped me up in weight. I tried the mini-pill, thinking that would have helped, and that bumped up my weight. So, avoid chemical regulation if you can. Aldactone and metformin were my sacred grail, lost loads, but I'm not on them anymore.
I got better at eating with IE, as all the PCOS drama screw up my relationship with food. I'm now realising when I'm hungry or emotional more. And I'm starting again with looking at PCOS friendly foods

[Cataleya]

Meditation and counselling seems to be my way. Because never underestimate the power of stress when accumulating fat on the belly and you already know how that and PCOS goes hand in hand.
I cannot take any hormonal pill as I'm prone to clotting. So that bumped me up in weight. I tried the mini-pill, thinking that would have helped, and that bumped up my weight. So, avoid chemical regulation if you can. Aldactone and metformin were my sacred grail, lost loads, but I'm not on them anymore.
I got better at eating with IE, as all the PCOS drama screw up my relationship with food. I'm now realising when I'm hungry or emotional more. And I'm starting again with looking at PCOS friendly foods

Ah, yeah. Meditation just doesn't do it for me unless I'm struggling to fall asleep. [emoji23] I may need to consider counseling again but idk

Spironolactone has helped with acne but not weight loss and I don't know that Metformin has done anything either. I think I just need to work on my diet again. Time to start logging again to see where I'm at!

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[Diadhuit]

Ah, yeah. Meditation just doesn't do it for me unless I'm struggling to fall asleep. [emoji23] I may need to consider counseling again but idk

Spironolactone has helped with acne but not weight loss and I don't know that Metformin has done anything either. I think I just need to work on my diet again. Time to start logging again to see where I'm at!

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

If you fall asleep meditating it means that's what you need (that's my rule for myself)

Go you! Only once a meal plan was successful for me, but was sooooo boring! It felt having always the same food: rice with beans, barley with beans, beans, red beans, white beans.

[Lightning]

Hi Girl!  I’m giving it a go again too. I’ll see you on the Assassin boards and we can cheer each other on. 

[Cataleya]

Hi Girl!  I’m giving it a go again too. I’ll see you on the Assassin boards and we can cheer each other on. 

Right on! I'll be on the lookout!