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Salinger's twenty second challenge!


Salinger

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Hi there gang!

 

Again, not really a theme as such, (i can never keep them up) but back to basics on this challenge. I tend to have the SAME goals each month, and i wonder if thats ok? Im striving to improve, and my goals never get achieved, which sort of upsets me. I see so many of you achieving great, cool things. I am a loser!

 

Ok enough of the self hate. Here are the goals:

 

  • Food must now be tracked five days a week. (weekend off) 
  • CLEAN, wholesome food to be eaten. 
  • NO TAKEOUTS for the whole challenge. 
  • Drink 2ltr of water per day. 
  • Go to the gym 3 days a week (Mon/Weds/Fri if possible)
  • Go on a hike. 

 

They are my main goals, its going to mess up a bit at the beginning of the actual challenge, as i go back to Venice on the 31st May, till the 11th June. But i will be walking a lot there (no cars) I cant help that though, so i will just try my best whilst out there. 

 

Really, my eating habits need to improve a lot and this is the challenge to sort it out. 

 

So come, join me.... 

 

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Sunday evening, almost 10pm, the back door is open and there is a lovely breeze, I am watching the golf, drinking tea, and may eat a plum. :D 

 

I had a lovely hot bath and my skin is tingling as the cold air hits it... i feel all clean and cosy. I definitely needed it. 

 

My housemate is at his girlfriends house, so im home alone, and i think i will chill with the golf then get some rest. I have a REALLY busy week coming up. 

 

I have to write and send a proposal tomorrow, return a top at post office, make some sound art for Venice, build a synth, meeting with a Gallery on Friday, driving to Sheffield on Tuesday, and start my notes/research for Venice residency ... also three gym sessions, and be nice to play tennis if the weather is ok. 

 

phew. 

 

giphy.gif

 

Will keep calm as possible though, not let my anxiety take over! Its been pretty bad lately, but i have also been crap at taking my medication...self destruction!! 

 

x

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9 minutes ago, Salinger said:

enough of the self hate

 

That would be a good goal! Oftentimes the way we think about ourselves winds up influencing how we actually act, so thinking in terms of "I'm a loser" or "I never do what I say I will" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. Try to think about all your wins- your gym visits, your car and the adventures you've had so far, all your excellent work in the art world, the great food you've cooked, getting out and playing tennis and football -and remember that they count just as much as anything else. Try to build yourself up! And especially remember that you are already good and worthy and valuable just the way you are, even if you aren't where you want to be yet. One step at a time, mon amie <3

 

14 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I cant help that though, so i will just try my best whilst out there. 

 

That's the spirit! Does the no take-out apply to Venice too, or will you have a way to prepare your own meals while you're there? Lots of walking is good!

 

Sounds like you're exceptionally busy, but do try to keep your head up; you've got this and i know you can do it! Sending all the hugs and good vibes :3

 

11 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Will keep calm as possible though, not let my anxiety take over! Its been pretty bad lately, but i have also been crap at taking my medication...self destruction!! 

 

Not to intrude, but i often struggle to take anything from medicine to vitamins consistently, myself. If you wouldn't mind terribly, i could poke you regarding that and you could poke me back so as to keep each other reminded?

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1 hour ago, Salinger said:

I tend to have the SAME goals each month, and i wonder if thats ok?

 

So do I.  And of course it's okay.  Why wouldn't it be?  My goals rarely vary by much.  I figure if/when I master them, then I'll find new ones.  Or if there is something specific I want to focus on, then I'll add/adjust on the fly.

 

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

I see so many of you achieving great, cool things. I am a loser!

 

 

I didn't achieve much this go round.  Or last go round.  Or the one before.  See what I'm getting at?  We get up, dust off our asses, and try again. We're Rangers.  It's what we do.

And don't discount walking.

Why walking is the most underrated form of exercise

or

4 Reasons Why Walking Is Real Exercise

Walking is a great way to start.  Especially if you haven't been doing much.  So don't give up.  Just keep trying.

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I'm here!!!

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“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck

“Do I dare disturb the universe?” – T.S. Eliot

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison

"All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us" JRR Tolkien

 

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9 hours ago, Miaulin said:

 

 

That's the spirit! Does the no take-out apply to Venice too, or will you have a way to prepare your own meals while you're there? Lots of walking is good!

 

Hey Mia! No, doesnt apply to Venice, its so tough to prepare meals unfortunately...i will try to cook a few nights but mainly i will be eating my main evening meal in a restaurant. I will make good choices though. When i say take out, i mean like sitting at home and ordering mcdonalds or pizzas ugh awful. 

 

9 hours ago, Miaulin said:

 

Not to intrude, but i often struggle to take anything from medicine to vitamins consistently, myself. If you wouldn't mind terribly, i could poke you regarding that and you could poke me back so as to keep each other reminded?

 

Yes good plan :) thanks Mia!!! xx

 

8 hours ago, Rinna said:

 

So do I.  And of course it's okay.  Why wouldn't it be?  My goals rarely vary by much.  I figure if/when I master them, then I'll find new ones.  Or if there is something specific I want to focus on, then I'll add/adjust on the fly.

 

 

I didn't achieve much this go round.  Or last go round.  Or the one before.  See what I'm getting at?  We get up, dust off our asses, and try again. We're Rangers.  It's what we do.

And don't discount walking.

Why walking is the most underrated form of exercise

or

4 Reasons Why Walking Is Real Exercise

Walking is a great way to start.  Especially if you haven't been doing much.  So don't give up.  Just keep trying.

 

Thank you Rinna !!! xx

 

4 hours ago, Stribs said:

I'm here!!!

 

oh wow. You are back :) this brightened my morning! xx

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Good morning all, it is 7.15am, kinda of foggy and a bit cold this morning but the forecast is to get sunny/warmer this afternoon. Busy busy today. I think i will do a list to keep me motivated ...

  • Finish writing, and send submission for residency
  • Return shirt at post office
  • Clean kitchen
  • Track food all day (and eat healthy food)
  • Drink 2ltr of water
  • Make hair appointment for next week
  • Build synth and create some sound art
  • Pay rent
  • Write proposal for next Broken Grey Wires exhibition
  • Sort out BGW website
  • Keep up with emails
  • Go to the gym
  • Read for an hour to relax

 

Phew...these are the main points i need to do today, so will keep going and hopefully relax later tonight :)

 

Feeling 'ok' this morning, to be honest, even when feeling fine, i have this sense of dread inside me that things may go wrong at any moment. Need to work through that i suppose. 

 

Right, lets win the day!!!

 

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7 hours ago, Salinger said:

Feeling 'ok' this morning, to be honest, even when feeling fine, i have this sense of dread inside me that things may go wrong at any moment. Need to work through that i suppose. 

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? This was part of one character's arc.

You've got this! <3

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.
Jacques Yves Cousteau

My own page!  // Instagram

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3 hours ago, TGP said:

Hey Liz!

I'll certainly be following.  looks like a good list.  You got this day!  keep "no SELF-HATE" up there in your head, as it doesn't help you reach your goals.  ;)

 

 

Thanks so much for following :) always great having you here! The self hate chatter is around big time today :( xx

 

1 hour ago, jcmgm said:

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? This was part of one character's arc.

You've got this! <3

 

No i dont watch it, interesting though. It really can be a big problem for me. Did they figure out how to get over it??x

 

1 hour ago, Cheetah said:

You can do it! Happy challenge!

 

Thanks Cheetah <3 xx

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Hey all. 5pm here. *yawn* im so fucking tired. I feel sick, i have a headache. WOooooooooo. 

 

I am doing my best with the list...

  • Finish writing, and send submission for residency
  • Return shirt at post office
  • Clean kitchen
  • Track food all day (and eat healthy food)
  • Drink 2ltr of water
  • Make hair appointment for next week
  • Build synth and create some sound art
  • Pay rent
  • Write proposal for next Broken Grey Wires exhibition
  • Sort out BGW website
  • Keep up with emails
  • Go to the gym
  • Read for an hour to relax

 

Submission is sent, as is the shirt at the post office, i have been tracking food and made decent decisions all day so far. I feel im addicted to eating crap though?! ughhhhh

 

Ive drank a lot of water but not yet at 2ltr...

 

I built the synth and it all works :) looks and sounds mega cool. Ill make some sound art stuff this evening. 

 

My website is back up... www.brokengreywires.co.uk 

 

Emails have been kept up with. 

 

No gym yet, still writing proposals, not read either. But im thinking of going into the garden and reading for a little bit. Its sunny, and warm out. I feel guilty and horrible and hating myself. I am trying not to though. 

 

:(

 

giphy.gif

 

 

 

 

 

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Catching up, your Venice photos are AMAZING!!!! Gosh it's so perfect~

 

How's the car doing?? :]

 

Hope you are hanging in there this afternoon!!  Tell that negative voice in your head to kick rocks!!!!

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Tell me, if you had the strength to take another step, could you do it?

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1 hour ago, Salinger said:

Hey all. 5pm here. *yawn* im so fucking tired. I feel sick, i have a headache.....

No gym yet, still writing proposals, not read either. But im thinking of going into the garden and reading for a little bit. Its sunny, and warm out. I feel guilty and horrible and hating myself. I am trying not to though. 

 

:(

 

giphy.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

yeah.  Headaches really suck.

 

and that last bit as I all I would ask you to do.  "try"

so MUCH magic in that word.

 

spent lunch thinking about how I spend MY time and how I want to juggle that better.

so... NOT EASY.

you'll be ok. 

 

what are you reading these days?

 

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44 minutes ago, shaar said:

Catching up, your Venice photos are AMAZING!!!! Gosh it's so perfect~

 

How's the car doing?? :]

 

Hope you are hanging in there this afternoon!!  Tell that negative voice in your head to kick rocks!!!!

 

Thanks shaar! Yes Venice is unbelievably pretty, back there next week.... 

 

my car is amazing I love it. I am driving to Sheffield tomorrow for therapy and then popping in to see my parents too - do a long (ish) drive over the day. Not really that

long but about 4 hours overall. 

 

Thanks shaar miss you. X

 

21 minutes ago, TGP said:

 

yeah.  Headaches really suck.

 

and that last bit as I all I would ask you to do.  "try"

so MUCH magic in that word.

 

spent lunch thinking about how I spend MY time and how I want to juggle that better.

so... NOT EASY.

you'll be ok. 

 

what are you reading these days?

 

 

Thanks TGP! Great to have your support. 

 

After my post I settled in the garden with a cup of tea, and read my book. I’ve actually just finished it! :( it was so so so good.

 

The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson. 

 

I tweeted the author to thank him for writing it and he liked my tweet :) 

 

its basically a non fiction adventure into madness. Ronson is a journalist and meets loads of people from psychiatrists, to murderers branded psychopaths to Wall Street men to Scientologist...etc it’s bloody brilliant. 

 

I think i will start another one of his all about conspiracy theorists !!

 

i still feel very sick and my head is creaking. Maybe I am anxious about therapy tomorrow??

 

 

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21 hours ago, Miaulin said:
21 hours ago, Salinger said:

enough of the self hate

 

That would be a good goal! Oftentimes the way we think about ourselves winds up influencing how we actually act, so thinking in terms of "I'm a loser" or "I never do what I say I will" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. Try to think about all your wins- your gym visits, your car and the adventures you've had so far, all your excellent work in the art world, the great food you've cooked, getting out and playing tennis and football -and remember that they count just as much as anything else. Try to build yourself up! And especially remember that you are already good and worthy and valuable just the way you are, even if you aren't where you want to be yet. One step at a time, mon amie <3

^^ All of this! Self-hate is the worst enemy, because it's inside us. Something I like to do is when I have those negative thoughts, I try to pretend that someone who I truly can't stand and whose opinion truly doesn't matter to me said those things. And then I tell it to shut up, because I don't care what that person thinks anyway. And that this person is wrong, and I'm better than what they think I am. (If it helps, I may or may not choose certain political figures...) 

 

Looking forward to your challenge, and cheering you on. You've got this!

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14 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

^^ All of this! Self-hate is the worst enemy, because it's inside us. Something I like to do is when I have those negative thoughts, I try to pretend that someone who I truly can't stand and whose opinion truly doesn't matter to me said those things. And then I tell it to shut up, because I don't care what that person thinks anyway. And that this person is wrong, and I'm better than what they think I am. (If it helps, I may or may not choose certain political figures...) 

 

Looking forward to your challenge, and cheering you on. You've got this!

 

Thank you so much Nic! <3 xx

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Morning all, its almost 11am, been up since 9am just hanging about, listening to music and drinking tea. Im feeling pretty anxious - im driving to Sheffield in about an hour, for therapy. If you have been following me, you know i have therapy every two weeks, over the phone with a man called Milan (he is Croatian originally) he helps so much, is very calming and interesting, we have really good discussions as well as 'therapy'. Anyway, today i meet him face to face for a session. EEEK. 

 

Then afterwards, ill drive to my parents (20 mins from Sheffield) for tea and biscuits in the garden in the sun! Then i will drive home...

 

So a long day really! But ill put some music on in the car and try to relax...!!! x

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Good job making and keeping that appointment today.  Courage is taking action in the face of fear.  You are very courageous!  Keep up the good work!

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Echoing what Cheetah said. It's very brave of you to take this next step and meet with your therapist in person. You've got this! Hope the session goes well and that tea and biscuits in the garden is lovely (it certainly sounds lovely!).

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On 5/20/2019 at 12:59 PM, Salinger said:

Did they figure out how to get over it??x

mmm it was kind of psychology therapy about why they auto sabotaged themselves when they're feeling happy, before life came breaking down.

As they are saying above @NicTheRugger and @Cheetah.

YOU ARE COURAGEOUS!
here's a penpen for you!
giphy.gif 

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17 hours ago, Cheetah said:

Good job making and keeping that appointment today.  Courage is taking action in the face of fear.  You are very courageous!  Keep up the good work!

 

Thank you Cheetah <3 xx

 

16 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

Echoing what Cheetah said. It's very brave of you to take this next step and meet with your therapist in person. You've got this! Hope the session goes well and that tea and biscuits in the garden is lovely (it certainly sounds lovely!).

 

Thanks Nic :) xx

 

9 hours ago, jcmgm said:



YOU ARE COURAGEOUS!
here's a penpen for you!
 

 

How lovely, JC. You're the best xx

 

6 hours ago, Miaulin said:

*vigorous pompom shakins for your session tomorrow* Best of wishes friend! I hope the meeting is productive and a nice time for you <3 <3

 

THANKS Mia!! xx

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Morning all! It is 6.45am here, its raining a little, i just had to run outside to bring in my camping chair haha now i have a cup of tea and im catching up with you all. 

 

Yesterday was nice, the drive was fine, windy windy roads for some part but i did well...a little nerve wracking but all was good. 

 

Therapy was lovely and hard in parts. My therapist is just as nice in person :)  the sessions are an hour, but we lost track of time and so it lasted an hour and a half :o but we spoke about  a lot of things. Mainly my sensitivity, my intense emotions (good and bad) and anxiety. Conclusion being, I am an artist.... artists feel things. Sometimes more intensely than others. Its not a negative (even though its a struggle) its mainly hard for me because i believe its something wrong with me. If that makes sense? 

 

Anyway, i need to try to remember what he says, difficult in the 'moment' but ill do my best!

 

Then i drove to my parents, and ended up having dinner there. (chicken and veg and roasties mmmmm) oh and we all walked the dogs too. It was lovely to see them. 

 

Then i drove home. Was quite difficult at times, the sun was just about in that annoying position where its low enough to be a hinderance. Very bright and made it difficult to see in some instances actually. But i made it home ok!

 

Got home, drank orange juice, watched the Simpsons with Ste, went to bed. 

 

Its early now, im still tired...i could sleep all day haha

 

But i have things to do. I will drive into town around midday, to meet my friend to go through the band art im making for him. Im driving so i don't drink alcohol...! Pot of tea and a bacon butty we plan on haha. 

 

Then ill be home for around 2.30pm i hope...do some work, buy milk, make a hair appointment. etc. Then around 8pm I am back to town (bus) to meet a friend i havent seen for ages. I will drink then but i dont want it to be a mad one. I want to be home by midnight. 

 

Again, im starting to panic about life/work/play and balance. Basically, if i am planning to drink alcohol, i tell myself there is no point exercising that day or tracking my food. And i go drinking a lot...so im running out of days to work out!!!?? Its so frustrating and i could sob actually about it. 

 

Really, i should go to the gym in the morning on the days i say i will go. Then it is out of the way!! Regardless whether ill be drinking or eating out or anything. UGH. 

 

x

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4 hours ago, Salinger said:

Really, i should go to the gym in the morning on the days i say i will go. Then it is out of the way!! Regardless whether ill be drinking or eating out or anything. UGH. 

You got this!!!!!  Gym gym gym!!!

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“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck

“Do I dare disturb the universe?” – T.S. Eliot

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” – Toni Morrison

"All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given to us" JRR Tolkien

 

Human Bard: CON 2, WIS 5, INT 1, CHA 2

 

Current Challenge: Nova Levels Up (and maybe doesn't abandon a challenge...)

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