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Snarky Tests her “If I could”s


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46 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

 

THANK YOU. I'm definitely going to look into this! That is really cool!

 

It really is. I had no idea when I joined the board through a school program. The people are amazing. Often the resources are out there but one problem is that the blind community is terribly disjointed and difficult to consistently communicate with in comparison to the hearing impaired community. And internet navigation can be nightmarish. 

 

Feel free to pm me or ask any questions, any time. 

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Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

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Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

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1 hour ago, Sciread77 said:

 

It really is. I had no idea when I joined the board through a school program. The people are amazing. Often the resources are out there but one problem is that the blind community is terribly disjointed and difficult to consistently communicate with in comparison to the hearing impaired community. And internet navigation can be nightmarish. 

 

Feel free to pm me or ask any questions, any time. 

Thank you! By sheer luck, my dad met a woman who organizes events for the blind community here,  as well as a mens support group and a womens support group. Shes not affiliated with the association for the blind, but she and some other folks  saw a need and filled it. The mens support group alternates between being helpful and not helpful. But its been good for Dad to meet other guys and say “public bathrooms suck!”

But you are so right! Its hard to find adequate resources and internet is not visually impaired friendly. 

 

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I'm a little late to the party, but that's what I do.

 

I've lived with parents (both my own and my S.O.s) and have been able to be successful. I think the hardest part is transitioning from the idea of a parent / child relationship to a roommate relationship (does that make sense?). You can totally do it - just have to be realistic with how the lines are drawn and what the expectations of both sides should be.

 

My husband and I lived with his parents for like a year while saving up money for our own place. We split up bills, chores, and cooking. It worked out really well because I enjoyed cooking and his parents did not. But it is super hard to share space as adults.

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58 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

I'm a little late to the party, but that's what I do.

 

I've lived with parents (both my own and my S.O.s) and have been able to be successful. I think the hardest part is transitioning from the idea of a parent / child relationship to a roommate relationship (does that make sense?). You can totally do it - just have to be realistic with how the lines are drawn and what the expectations of both sides should be.

 

My husband and I lived with his parents for like a year while saving up money for our own place. We split up bills, chores, and cooking. It worked out really well because I enjoyed cooking and his parents did not. But it is super hard to share space as adults.

I like this adjustment in mindset from parent/child to roommates. You said that and I could feel my mind saying “yup”

giphy.gif

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10 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

I'm a little late to the party, but that's what I do.

 

I've lived with parents (both my own and my S.O.s) and have been able to be successful. I think the hardest part is transitioning from the idea of a parent / child relationship to a roommate relationship (does that make sense?). You can totally do it - just have to be realistic with how the lines are drawn and what the expectations of both sides should be.

 

My husband and I lived with his parents for like a year while saving up money for our own place. We split up bills, chores, and cooking. It worked out really well because I enjoyed cooking and his parents did not. But it is super hard to share space as adults.

 

9 hours ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

I like this adjustment in mindset from parent/child to roommates. You said that and I could feel my mind saying “yup”

giphy.gif

 

Seconded. That’s a fantastic way to put it. 

 

And it’s all kinds of hard to live with other adults. Especially people you love and don’t want to just nuke the bridge between you after a lease is up. 

 

 

 

 

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Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

Character Sheet Training Logs Challenges Prepping for Adventure PrepAdventure Prep Fall BabyWhen Are We Again, Anyway?WhirlwindThe Leaf's LocusHarnessing Hamingja New Roots More Beginnings, More Roots Cleaning Up Facing The Hailstorm Yo Ho Yo The... Keto Life For Me? Taming the Beast Another Step Towards the Future Baking, Suburban Homesteading, and Health, The Adventurers of the Lucky Vale IIIIIIIVVVI, VII VIIIIX

Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

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Sunday was my day off from thinking about the challenge and stuff. I didn't eat after dinner, and slept pretty well!

 

Monday I went for a walk, and then headed off for a picnic with my friends. It was a wonderful afternoon. I ate a late dinner  because  my friend burned the food to a crisp, but what is a few carcinogens among friends?  I really hope we can get together again this summer. It was a great time. 

I dont have any commitments now until the weekend. I feel like I’m swimming lazily in a pool of free time. I cant wait to get some chores done,  finish up some projects, and read a book. :) this would be a great week to step up the exercise a bit since I have extra time.

 

woohoo! 

 

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It's already Wednesday!

 

Yesterday and today I had hours to myself. HOURS! :D:D 

 

Being more intentional with time to myself has been amazing. I'm less anxious, I'm getting more done. I feel like I'm on top of things, not just catching up all the time. I have more energy for friends and family, and I feel less resentful. But the thing that is really amazing is I'm not really less busy, or spending less time with my friends and family. But I'm not putting myself on hold in case someone needs me, and I'm letting go of the feeling that my time only has value if it's serving someone else. 

 

*gasp* So does this mean I'm the problem? Heaven forbid! ;)

 

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I didnt eat between meals today and my teeth are brushed and flossed so no eating after dinner tonight. 

 

I got an hour to myself to try an elephant sewing pattern for felt. The trunk is wrong. Who knew elephants were so dang hard to sew?

 

My soprano ukulele arrived today! It’s an Aklot, and its so cheap considering it has some quality components to it. It has a nice sound to it, and I love it so much. Its also going to be perfect for traveling. I have a nice beginner ukulele in a concert sized cordoba, and its traveled well too, but the soprano will be even easier to take to the beach.

 

I didn't exercise today. I went to the store, cooked lunch for the folks, cleaned, and waited for my uke to arrive like a puppy. I don't want to exercise. I need to just do it, because I’ve skipped enough days that now I feel anxious about it.i don't remember the last time I picked up weights. Just do it Snarky!

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I love my ukulele :love_heart::wub:

 

 

I feel better, nay nay, great about my progress today.  :)  I’ve been a habitual night-binge-eater for a long time and to stop that is a big accomplishment.  But taking the time to be alone has been just as wonderful. I feel more settled and content. Time alone has accomplished what the late night binge sessions didnt, and that’s great!

 

I recognized today that I felt like exercise was counting as my alone time, and I didnt want that. Saying it aloud, that it is definitely NOT my alone time. Exercise is a separate part of my day, much like making the bed, or brushing my teeth.  I enjoy the results, but I’m never excited about it :D  

 

My nephews are staying with us this weekend! One at a time, first is the 8 year old, then tomorrow we take him home and pick up the 16 year old. I really love my nephews and think we’re gonna have a great time together! This feels like a good test to maintain new habits. Family is a huge button pusher for me wanting to stock up on junk food and eat all the things late at night. I am going to take time for myself for each visit so I can avoiding eating my feelings later. 

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1 hour ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

You know what would help me sleep better at night?

 

Garlic. :D  And getting a bit more sunlight during the day.  Basically try to anti-vampire yourself.  ;)

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He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of

you but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?

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I have a lot of feelings this weekend, and need to sort through a lot about my folks and family. My mother said something unkind, and its not the first time, and its just... every day, someone is having an anxiety attack, or depressed, or blaming everyone else, especially me for things not happening. And then My mother has the nerve to tell me I embarrass her because of my weight and because I left the library. 

 

I really do love my parents and they can be so wonderful. But they are also broken a bit, and Thats not my responsibility, I cant be responsible for their childhoods and the issues that stem from that. I dont think they really want that either, but lately they are not okay. I need to set those boundaries a little wider and give myself more space to move emotionally. 

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Enjoy the silence. See you soon. 

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On 6/1/2019 at 6:28 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

I have a lot of feelings this weekend, and need to sort through a lot about my folks and family. My mother said something unkind, and its not the first time, and its just... every day, someone is having an anxiety attack, or depressed, or blaming everyone else, especially me for things not happening. And then My mother has the nerve to tell me I embarrass her because of my weight and because I left the library. 

 

I really do love my parents and they can be so wonderful. But they are also broken a bit, and Thats not my responsibility, I cant be responsible for their childhoods and the issues that stem from that. I dont think they really want that either, but lately they are not okay. I need to set those boundaries a little wider and give myself more space to move emotionally. 

 

That's a powerful realization to have.  May the Force be with you in your ponderings.  

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Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

Character Sheet Training Logs Challenges Prepping for Adventure PrepAdventure Prep Fall BabyWhen Are We Again, Anyway?WhirlwindThe Leaf's LocusHarnessing Hamingja New Roots More Beginnings, More Roots Cleaning Up Facing The Hailstorm Yo Ho Yo The... Keto Life For Me? Taming the Beast Another Step Towards the Future Baking, Suburban Homesteading, and Health, The Adventurers of the Lucky Vale IIIIIIIVVVI, VII VIIIIX

Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

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I'm sorry your mother projected her shit onto you. You are absolutely right that you aren't responsible for it. You are amazing and I love hearing all the progress you are making in setting time aside for yourself and all the positive things that come from that. Keep it up!


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21 hours ago, Sciread77 said:

 

That's a powerful realization to have.  May the Force be with you in your ponderings.  

A day off was a wonderful thing

20 hours ago, Shello said:

I'm sorry your mother projected her shit onto you. You are absolutely right that you aren't responsible for it. You are amazing and I love hearing all the progress you are making in setting time aside for yourself and all the positive things that come from that. Keep it up!


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Thanks for the positive reinforcement. It really does help put me back in a good mindset!

 

 

UPDATE:

 

So Mom and I had a chat. I really appreciate being able to vent here, but I acknowledge she's the one I need to talk to if she's upsetting me. I didn't really need to say anything at first because she opened up with an apology about being really rude to me And while I accepted her apology, I also shared that she did hurt my feelings. we had a long talk, and worked out a lot of things and earnestly talked about what we really want in life.  We'll probably have to have this talk again in a few months. :) But if our plan goes well, I'll be moving out in about a year into a smaller house of my own, and they'll get to decide what they want to do next :) Thank you again for letting me vent here, I was able to calm down enough to talk to her, and sometimes just typing out stuff gives me perspective. 

 

After our chat, we went stomping around the trails in the park for about 40 minutes. There's one trail she and I like that's a big hill with a nice view at the end. It was muddy and I fell once and caught myself before I had a muddy butt, but I bruised my shoulder a bit. Wah! 

In the park the cicadas are full grown and the noise was amazing! At first I thought it was a motor of some kind of heavy machinery, but it was the cicadas. They were EVERYWHERE. On the ground, in the trees. I was both fascinated and grossed out. It was such an incredible experience!

 

This week I finally feel ready to introduce exercise. I packed away my spreadsheets and am just moving. Anything counts right now, it's just about building that habit. Maybe next challenge, I can get a little more structured with it, but for now, I just want to get into that mindset that exercise is like making the bed or brushing one's teeth. Just another habit that makes life a little nicer. 

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On 5/29/2019 at 8:28 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

It's already Wednesday!

 

Yesterday and today I had hours to myself. HOURS! :D:D 

 

Being more intentional with time to myself has been amazing. I'm less anxious, I'm getting more done. I feel like I'm on top of things, not just catching up all the time. I have more energy for friends and family, and I feel less resentful. But the thing that is really amazing is I'm not really less busy, or spending less time with my friends and family. But I'm not putting myself on hold in case someone needs me, and I'm letting go of the feeling that my time only has value if it's serving someone else. 

 

*gasp* So does this mean I'm the problem? Heaven forbid! ;)

 

I love this. Nice!

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My dad is so pleased because his PS Vita copy of Dragon Quest Builders is worth over $100. He's like "I have something rare!" and he started humming to himself with glee. 

 

Sometimes he's such a Slytherin :D:D But he's definitely a good Slytherin. I'll fight anyone on that!

 

 My knee started acting up yesterday. so today it's ibuprofen, and leg strengthening exercises that don't put any weight on my knee. Which I have a handy sheet from the doctors from when my mom injured HER knee. for me, it's not really bad, so I'll be right as rain in a day or so. My shoulder feels better, so I'm going to do some exercises for that today without weights and see how it handles.  

 

Exercise has been sneaky this week. I've been taking it one day at a time, and I've gone for walks more days than I haven't. And it doesn't really feel like exercise. Well, yesterday, it totally did. Yesterday was a difficult walk. But for the most part, it just feels nice to get outside and walk around.  But I'm ready to strengthen up the muscles to support my joints better for walking around. 

 

I feel like I should be doing more, but I'm also really happy with the progress I'm making. I'm trying to get out of the diet mindset, and embrace life long changes. It's not going to be a dramatic process, but full of tiny victories

 

 

 

 

 

 

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55 minutes ago, Snarkyfishguts said:

Sometimes he's such a Slytherin :D:D But he's definitely a good Slytherin. I'll fight anyone on that!

 

As someone who always comes out as either Slytherin or Gryffindor, I take exception to you having to protest so much there may be such a thing as a good Slytherin. 

 

#JusticeForTheAmbitiousWe'reNotAlwaysEvil

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