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Terra

Activation Energy -> Part 2 includes enzymes and stuff (Terra)

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I really need to remember that the hubby doesn't hear all the stuff that a doctor says to him or he doesn't ask the right questions.  So the one hour I needed to spend with him this morning turned into 2.5 hours plus an hour later today when it was all said and done.  I should know better.  It went well.  But the procedure was 1 hour and then we had to wait for him to come out of anesthesia and then he wanted food.  AT home he got mad at me because i followed him in the house (to grab my lunch!) and then told the oldest spawn of ours she is not to get in a car with dad today because that is what the doctor said.  She has a orthodontists appt this afternoon that the hubby was going to take her too, but no driving for him per the doctor.  So I have to take off from work some more today to take care of that too.  I'm a little stressed about getting my hours in this week and the extra time away today only made that worse.  I can stay late tonight to make up some of it....   <sigh>

 

I have been feeling bloated the last two days so I'm trying to choose smaller meals (I suck at portion sizes!!!) No exercise happened last night but I got to bed before 10:30pm.  

 

I'm having trouble being confident these days...  There is so much going on in life right now and I'm managing it all but not with confidence.  It sucks and kind of pisses me off.  So I'm looking for that kick in the pants boost that I need.  I'm not finding it externally so must be that its lost somewhere in me... 

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On 6/17/2019 at 10:00 AM, Terra said:

I forgot to take that progress chart photo.  :concern:  To summarize: I'm doing really great with BJJ classes, green smoothies, gratitude and eating more veggies.  I'm not doing great with yoga, KB swings and getting to bed by 10:30. 

 

You are doing so well with so many things!

 

6 hours ago, Terra said:

I'm having trouble being confident these days...  There is so much going on in life right now and I'm managing it all but not with confidence. 

 

So there's also something to be said for "fake it till you make it." I think it's ok to feel unsure, but try not to let it stop you from doing things that you want or need to do.

 

I've thought a lot about the imposter syndrome. One thing I think I've figured out is that I don't know how to make myself feel like less of an imposter, but I can try not to (1) let it stop me from doing things, or (2) beat myself up for feeling that way.  #2 was the big realization for me. I felt terrible and I was making myself feel even worse by being critical of my own feelings.

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Hugs Terra,

You got this. All the hugs against a tough week!!

send from my new phone, bear with me.

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@Xena and @Morag - Thank you for the words of encouragement! I am making steps towards maintaining a positive attitude over the coming weeks.  

 

I added a couple of positivity/encouragement apps on my phone.  Its amazing how just a few quotes about being positive help me stay in the right frame of mind.  I also can open pinterest and ask it for quotes on whatever I need to hear that day.  This really helped me yesterday and I need to make it a regular thing!!!  

 

I finally got our my KB and swung the damm thing!!!  I was too late getting home to make BJJ class last night but I pulled out my KB app and did a quick 7 minute workout.  It was lovely and had me breathing heavy.  My strength and cardio are in great need of my focus, and this might be the way to do it!  7-10 minutes at a time!!!  I picked a 21 day challenge because that is all I have left before we leave on vacation...  Yikes!  

 

Green smoothie for breakfast, Five Guys lettuce wrapped burger for lunch and another smoothie for dinner with carrots, hummus and a piece of paleo bread for an evening snack.  Food was great yesterday!!!  Eldest spawn and I discussed smoothies for dinner more often.  She is cooking tonight!!!  I'm excited about what she will come up with.  

 

Energy levels are high and I'm craving a dance party! 

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20 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

kettlebell swings are an awesome way to get a short, powerful workout in!

And I need to remember that!!!  

 

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BJJ last night.  Food was a struggle last night.  My zucchini's had gone bad and the lettuce too.  I found two leaves good that were big enough for tacos, but that wasn't what I wanted for dinner.  Oh well, I ate chicken tacos anyway!!!  

 

Today is no classes.  I'm driving to my parents house with the spawn.  I'm hoping to get in a couple of nice long walks this weekend. I might do some yoga stretching too. 

 

My left foot has been hurting lately and I think it has to do with my weight.  That was the foot where I had to have the plantar fascia release a 3.5 years ago.  I have got to stretch it out so I don't have further problems.  I am at that weight were things start to hurt.  So this shit has to change now.  I won't be back on the challenge boards  before the end of this challenge, but this challenge just continues on through July 11th.  So I am working on the little daily changes to make then habits that make my health and life better!!!  I am seeing progress.  The chart on my bathroom mirror helps.  Daily motivational reminders also help me keep my spirits high and more positive.  (yes there is an app for that!) I'm so tempted to do a 2.5 week keto challenge starting on Monday...  I just want to be comfortable moving again!!!   

 

And I'm off to be productive before my long drive!  

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Sorry about your foot. Have you tried wearing a special sock or brace to keep it stretched at night? I know some people who swear by them.

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17 hours ago, Xena said:

Sorry about your foot. Have you tried wearing a special sock or brace to keep it stretched at night? I know some people who swear by them.

Thanks for the suggestion.  I never found the brace/sock very helpful for more than anything but keeping me awake when I should be sleeping!  I have been stretching much more in the last few days and I think it is helping.  

 

One last little vent about parents and then i'm off to post a new challenge...

 

Spoiler

I love my parents but damm they drive me nuts!!!  It was funny to watch Baby Black Widow (spawn#2) butt heads with my mother (whom she was named for).  They both are stubborn and opinionated.  It made me giggle. -- Do you ever have one of those life defining moments from your childhood that is so stark in your mind that you remember all the details and yet the parent that is front and enter in that memory doesn't even remember the events at all?  My mother brought up a creative writing class I "took" in high school and I laughed at the "memory." I never tried creative writing again after she re-wrote a story i was writing for a contest in the 5th grade.  It is probably one of my childhood's defining moments and she doesn't remember it all.  She thinks it was something I did in HS?!?!  I was flabbergasted.  I took every science class I could in high school so I didn't have to take electives at all.  It was also one of those memories that defines how I parent today.  I was blown away!   It does make me wonder if alzheimer's is in the near future with my mom, it runs in the family and we have seen moments that could be early indicators.  --  Spawn#1 refuses to spend time with my parents right now without me and Spawn #2 is spending just 2 days with them this summer. It was partly scheduling and partly them not wanting to spend time with the grandparents in general UGH!  Anyway you look at it was an emotional and draining weekend.

 

 

I'm off to get a couple of work task completed this morning (and I'm not feeling great) and then I will post my next challenge!!!  

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9 hours ago, Terra said:

I never found the brace/sock very helpful for more than anything but keeping me awake when I should be sleeping!

Yup... I should have written the other half of that sentence. I know some people who swear by them and others who feel exactly the way you do!

 

I have some similar memories about my mother. Interesting that you got to sit back and watch a bit.

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