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Morag's unexpected journey.


Morag

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WOW, such beautiful place! Great to hear you rested, and that kids were fine with this kind of vacation.

I can't wait to take my boys to go camping. Maybe I'll just set the tent in the garden to see if they can stand night outside? For now, I need to wait a bit for warmer weather, because the heatwave is gone and at night temps drop to (or below) 10 deg C. 

 

 

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I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk.

Challenges: Current#15 (Xmas mini) |  #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1

Bike build

Left hand Out-of-Order till x-mas until further notice. But I'm happily splint-free already and working on getting the mobility back.

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I removed some of the pictures. I hope you don't mind.
The internet is a weird place.

In other news I am between vacation mind and gets-stuff-done mind, and struggling with moving slower than I think/feel I should be moving at.
This impatience with myself is tiring. Why can't I just do the best I can and be okay with it? Why is there this overcritical side inside me who is never happy unless I run at burn-myself-out- / run-myself-into-the-ground- speeds?

I know I should be kinder with myself. I choose to be kinder with myself. It's not so simple, but you get the idea.
Kids will be at grandparent's house until Sunday, I think, I have no further appointments this week apart from a curiosity to check out open air live music things in the inner city tomorrow. Fuel up on some culture while I can.

Next appointments are interning at my potential job cite Tuesday 6am onward, with a get the contract signed thought riding right behind it, then an interesting lecture on behaviour and communication wednesday morning, daycare resumes without lunch (summer break - no mensa) for LittleBoy, so I need to prepare breakfast AND lunch for him to take along Mondays through Fridays for the next three weeks) and see how things will resume once the school year starts. There were some changes, but I am not up-to-date on things...
LittleBoy is invited to a bday party 27th of july...

Lot's to do all over, but not today, today I'll hit most of the items on my list, and get to bed EVEN EARLIER STILL.

send from my phone, bear with me.

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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2 hours ago, Morag said:

struggling with moving slower than I think/feel I should be moving at.
This impatience with myself is tiring. Why can't I just do the best I can and be okay with it? Why is there this overcritical side inside me who is never happy unless I run at burn-myself-out- / run-myself-into-the-ground- speeds?

I feel you. I keep reminding myself that "good enough" is really good enough. There isn't enough of me (or the time) to be perfect at everything. Sometimes you need to just go easy on yourself. My mom sometimes tell me to slow down, leave unimportant things for later because I can't burn myself out - my most important task is to be for my kids and my wife.

As your is to be for your boys. And if you push yourself to the moment when you just crash into the floor, you are failing on this "main quest". 

 

"Good enough" is really good enough. You may be perfect with something, but not with everything.

 

And now - get some rest :) 

  • Like 2

I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk.

Challenges: Current#15 (Xmas mini) |  #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1

Bike build

Left hand Out-of-Order till x-mas until further notice. But I'm happily splint-free already and working on getting the mobility back.

Link to post

So sorry for all you are going through. Woot for taking the kids camping. Glad you all enjoyed yourself

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Wisdom- 13.5 Dexterity- 10 Charisma- 11 Strength- 12 Constitution-10 

Elastigirl Just Living Life - January 3 to February 6 New Year Challenge! - Nerd Fitness Rebellion

"The chief goal of living is not to merely stay alive" Mike Rowe

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I feel you. I keep reminding myself that "good enough" is really good enough. There isn't enough of me (or the time) to be perfect at everything. Sometimes you need to just go easy on yourself. My mom sometimes tell me to slow down, leave unimportant things for later because I can't burn myself out - my most important task is to be for my kids and my wife.

As your is to be for your boys. And if you push yourself to the moment when you just crash into the floor, you are failing on this "main quest". 

 

"Good enough" is really good enough. You may be perfect with something, but not with everything.

 

And now - get some rest [emoji4] 

Thank you for your kind words, aramis. Good enough. Thats just a turn of phrase. Good enough is actually good enough, that's just so dang difficult. My language is quite a bit bent there: Good enough has this negative vibe to it, that just shouldn't be there. Good enough is not strike sails and give up. It's actually good enough... i have a lot to learn still, especially on this front.

 

I appreciate your thoughts on this.

So sorry for all you are going through. Woot for taking the kids camping. Glad you all enjoyed yourself

Hey elastigirl, good to have you along. Thanks for your words. Yeah life sucks a wee bit, but I am doimg okay, considering.

 

 

 

Late night update.

It's 10:30pm here, I am almost in bed by now, which is a huge win.

I just have to put my clothes out for tomorrow and water my sprouts and then I am done with Thursday.

 

Just have to go to bed and not watch stuff while in bed, then I'll be asleep before 2300 hours. HUGE win.

 

I did most of my routines today, got some small sorting and cleaning done, nothing as big as my mind told me it should, but I spend some time decluttering and cleaning in the livingroom. And spent some time sorting through the last leftover bag of our camping luggage (sorted laundry).

I had a nice enough coaching session (their goal is to get me employed, I have no signed paperwork yet, but more of this another time). Coaching was good, short and painless, had a lovely bike ride through a new-to-me park, even sat and spend some time there. It was lovely, will take the kids there sometime soon. Gorgeous area.

Finished the daily missions for wizards unite.

 

I fried mushrooms, a red paprika, and two zucchini in some coconut and some olive oil with a bit of salt and some thyme, then poured them into a casserole dish over some pasta, added sour cream and cream cheese, some parmesan and some grated gouda and baked the whole thing. It was really yummy.

 

I should have put the leftovers into the fridge right away... after I had eaten, I ate a fork full every time I walked past until my tummy hurt and I had an emergency food coma nap. So I have no leftovers for tomorrow and ate way more than I had planned.

BUT I cooked healthy(ier) food and it was 50% veggies (+shrooms) (I am a biologist: mushrooms are not plants, sorry for the confusion) and it was delicious!

 

And I even have enough ingredients to make another batch... will put leftovers away then.

 

Other than that I knit (on the second vacation sock now, have added the provisional stitches that will be the opening for the heel lateron. Can't believe how fast I am knitting a pair of socks.), finished reading Iron Druid book 1 Hounded by Kevin Hearne, watched at least 2, maybe 3 episodes of voyager (end of season 6 now) and had to water my balcony something fierce, summer is hell on the plants, just sayin'.

 

Tomorrow I might take some bujo & FlyLadyControlJournal pics for you all. Maybe.

 

Lovely day, and when I list it all it's not as little as it seemed, I did have a full day afterall.

 

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send from my phone, bear with me.

 

 

 

  • Like 4

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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8 hours ago, Morag said:

My language is quite a bit bent there: Good enough has this negative vibe to it, that just shouldn't be there

Yeah, languages sometimes tend to kick you in the face only with words connotations and traditional influences foreigners don't know of or understand. But is it the thing here? I cooperate with some German companies in my branch and "gut genug" was never source of any misunderstanding. And we use this term quite often, as we deal with engineering for third party customers who have their own quality expectations we need to meet. 

Or, maybe it is because Germans have this label of perfectionists? 

 

Some time ago, I stumbled on some "happiness in life" guide, and from it one thing just burned into my brain.

 

If you face a choice or decision, determine your expectations and pick the first option that meets them. Don't search for better, just take good enough. You'll be happy with it, as it is something you wanted. But if you skip the good enough option in search of better, you'll never be happy/satisfied with your choice (because there always might be a wee bit better one).

 

This was related to getting new things, but it can be extrapolated on your daily life. In Polish, there is this saying - "better" is enemy of "good". In other words - don't overthink on finding THE BEST option (you won't find it anyway), just take the one that meets your expectations and move on. 

  • Like 2

I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk.

Challenges: Current#15 (Xmas mini) |  #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1

Bike build

Left hand Out-of-Order till x-mas until further notice. But I'm happily splint-free already and working on getting the mobility back.

Link to post

I am struggling.
I am tired all the time, can't get out of bed within even an hour of waking, and I wake well past 8am. So next week will be "interesting" (Serenity pun intended). Because being at work bright and early (6am) will be a hugely different experience.
I decided to torture myself a bit in preparation: I will get up as if I have to go to work, both Sunday as well as Monday, hopefully, three days is enough to get my sleep rhythm in check Enough to be able to do Tuesday with minimal ill-effects.
I was thinking I should start today, but I am lazy and tired and I talked myself out of it. Silly me.

What was I thinking, seriously saying yes to shift work? I have watched hubby suffer under this kind of bullshit for ten years and now I just go and say "sure I'll do it, why not"? What the F is WRONG WITH ME?

Also
Not having kids for any length of time is weird! Not bad per sé just weird. I'll hop through the bathroom, then do the grocery haul for next week's no-mensa lunch situation, and by some veggies and stuff for my own eating for this weekend, then I'll warm up yesterday's leftovers, because I did indeed put food in the fridge yesterday. And "out of sight out of mind" it's waiting for me there. Packing things up and putting a lid and a fridge door between me and leftovers apparently is enough to get me to put down the fork.
It's all about thresholds it seems: make healthy snacks easier accessible than unhealthier choices, add height to threasholds I want as a deterent, lower those I want myself to cross.
Silly human behaviour... silly morag behaviours.

I'm tired tired tired. I expect it is because I am not doing much, therefore I don't need any energy much, so the body is reducing available resources, I am tired, don't want to do much, and so on and so forth. Bit annoying.

I'll get some stuff done today, then I'll sit and knit and watch a movie as evening wind down, then bed as early as 9pm (8?), with an alarm for 4am. An hour and a half should be enough to get up, sorted and to the bus in the morning. So I will practice that. See how it goes.

Getting up 2h early while I am in school routine, getting up before the kids, all that jazz, it shouldn't be a problem. But doing it during summer break is kind of cruel.
Okay. Enough babbling, lets get moving.

send from my phone, bear with me.

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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22 hours ago, Morag said:

What was I thinking, seriously saying yes to shift work? I have watched hubby suffer under this kind of bullshit for ten years and now I just go and say "sure I'll do it, why not"? What the F is WRONG WITH ME?

Everybody reacts different to shift work. I did shifts for couple years in the past and it was manageable, but annoying. My wife works shifts for 10+ years already and she is perfectly okay with this. Just try it for couple months and decide if you are okay or not. 

 

22 hours ago, Morag said:

Not having kids for any length of time is weird! Not bad per sé just weird.

I feel you. My boys were at my in-laws for a week and home were so strangely calm and quiet...

 

22 hours ago, Morag said:

I'll get some stuff done today, then I'll sit and knit and watch a movie as evening wind down, then bed as early as 9pm (8?), with an alarm for 4am. An hour and a half should be enough to get up, sorted and to the bus in the morning. So I will practice that. See how it goes.

Sounds like a good plan. I'm crossing my fingers for you :D

 

  • Like 1

I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk.

Challenges: Current#15 (Xmas mini) |  #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1

Bike build

Left hand Out-of-Order till x-mas until further notice. But I'm happily splint-free already and working on getting the mobility back.

Link to post

So the sitting and knitting I got down. I excel at it even.
The going to bed thing? Not so much.

At some point last night part of me convinced the rest of myself that I don't even need to go to bed, I somehow got myself believing, that staying up till 4am, ... and beyond, just not sleeping a whole night, that that was a good idea. Why? I don't know.
I knitted and netflixed until... 5am through... then -Surprise- crashed like a ... something impressively failing, I don't even know.

I have no idea what I was thinking?!

So it is almost 1500h now, I am groggy but awake, I have no idea how to get back onto the waggon.
Since I started doing daily dares and since the kids are gone, I don't get anything done anymore. Things are falling apart and I need to do something. But I am tired and willpower is scarce.

I brush my teeth and shower and get dressed, but everything beyond that seems like HARD work. Laundry dishes, prepping for the next day... I just fell out of my clothes last night/this morning, I didn't do a single thing on my evening list.

Farkh

I am really down.
Sorry for the whining. I'm feeling whiny.

I'll shower and get dressed and then I'll see where I am and what I can do.
Might even get around to taking pictures of my controll journal, see where I am at...

send from my phone, bear with me.

  • Confused 1

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Just changed the alarm to 4am. And the backup to 0430h. Thats in 12h and a bit.
My Sunday, if I am kind with myself, and plan on at least 6-8h of sleep tonight, will be around 4h long. 6 if I really want to be tired like all hell tomorrow.
What was I thinking?!


send from my phone, bear with me.

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Hey. 

Are you still awake? If so - GO TO BED! RIGHT NOW! You need it. Especially after pulling an all-nighter. 

 

And if you are reading this already at Monday - I hope you rested enough for your day. 

 

5 hours ago, Morag said:

Sorry for the whining. I'm feeling whiny.

No need to apologize. Everybody needs some whining from time to time. 

 

But if you want to stop feeling whiny, take a piece of paper, pen and write some small things that annoy you from your direct vicinity. And then take this list and deal with something from it. This helps me a lot when I need this little nudge to start doing something.

For example - my current list (done couple days ago) still consists de-cluttering two shelves and a cabinet, fixing rattling something inside my car driver's door, sending complaint papers to WizzAir and organizing my PostApo LARP gear. But I already scratched off de-cluttering my desk, diagnosing/fixing rattling car's exhaust and fixing hinge that fell off from my wardrobe. 

Some are bigger than other, but even the smallest one will give you some momentum when finished, the little bit that you need to face bigger things. And after this, the process of regaining control over yourself and your surroundings starts to fuel itself with motivation, momentum and energy. If you can do the A thing, you surely will manage to deal with B thing, then C thing and so on. You just need to start (preferably with something small). 

 

 

  • Like 2

I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk.

Challenges: Current#15 (Xmas mini) |  #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1

Bike build

Left hand Out-of-Order till x-mas until further notice. But I'm happily splint-free already and working on getting the mobility back.

Link to post

wow!  So much going on in you'll life. 

be kind to yourself!  so much stress and difficulties.

 

sometimes when things get stressful and hard; I like to remind myself that this will NOT last forever.  you wait, you'll have better stronger days in the future.

 

You only have to handle the day as it happens; and soon unbearable stresses will ease. 

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https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/116426-im-awake/

the "NEW" normal is good with me! as Life was Never really Normal anyways....

 

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Hugs. It is hard without the kids. I know this feeling well. I have done similar, bar the knitting.

Be gentle with yourself. Sleep, rest and do what you can.

Hugs

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

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Where to find me: Current Challenge : Battle Log Facebook : Instagram :

"Each day, just focus on getting 1% better in whatever it is you're trying to improve. That's it. Just 1%." ArtofManliness Article.

"That which is wise and holy helps the health and wholeness of the chain of generations." D. R. Miller. 

"We do not rise to our expectations. We fall to our level of training." Archilochus

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Thanks guys.

I seriously don't expect things to ever properly calm down. It seems to be a trademark of myself to always have my metaphorical plate full. Maybe I should talk about this with my therapiat... or meditate. There seems to be something there for me...

Anyway. When you posted, aramis, I was still up and about withthe kid. I got to bed by 2230 hours, asleep around 2300h, the kid in my bed. I woke when the alarm went off, but fell back asleep right after, actually crawled out of bed around 0730h, got the kid up amd moving by 0800h. Delivered him at daycare 0920h. Which is utterly late but so there. Had another revelation of: I can easily get out of bed 8h after falling asleep, everything else seems ludicrous.

My plan is thus: put out clothes for tomorrow, pack purse (breakfast and lunch, plus bus tickets) at 1800h at the latest. Be in bed by 1900h, sleep before 2000h alarm at 0330h backup alarm at 0400h.
Be out the door at 0500h, get bus at 0529h, be at work 0545h.

The kid this morning told me how afraid he is of "being alone almost every day" once I start working. So I am going to show him how awesome it is when I do indeed start working, he'll get picked up from school, we will spend lovely afternoons, all the things.
Fears are indeed irrational. Not just mine. Bears keeping in mind.

Anyway. Off to do some cycling in the drizzle. Talk more soon.



send from my phone, bear with me.

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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I still haven't posted pics of bujo/travel journal and controll journal. So here goes:
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And my work-in-progress controll journal
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That's quite the wall of pictures. I hope you're reading this on wifi... anyway.

Today I am not awesome, cried a lot already and it isn't even noon yet. Will pick the kid up from daycare by bike today (his is parked there), then we'll go and brows and maybe buy some ceramic pens... you know? For painting rocks... possibly we'll see. May go for a walk beforehand, feeling restless and kinda stuck...



send from my phone, bear with me.

  • Like 2

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Crying is good. Let the sadness wash out of you through your tears.

Good luck with the first day.

Hugs.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

Where to find me: Current Challenge : Battle Log Facebook : Instagram :

"Each day, just focus on getting 1% better in whatever it is you're trying to improve. That's it. Just 1%." ArtofManliness Article.

"That which is wise and holy helps the health and wholeness of the chain of generations." D. R. Miller. 

"We do not rise to our expectations. We fall to our level of training." Archilochus

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Thursday morning update.

Full week of things is slowly coming to a close.

Today an estranged friend is coming for a visit in the afternoon. Taking care of the kids and myself is the only thing on my list beyond that.

Tomorrow I have a 9am therapy appointment. And I am thinking about hitting the state support place up beforehand... still haven't heard anything... might be nice to be able to pay my rent and eat when the first comes around... they open at 7:30, I believe, so if I go really fucking early I might get it all done and be home before it's too unbearably hot out.

It feels like a good plan, even though it means I'll be cycling all over town before my usual breakfast time. Getting that financial worry out of my system would increase the quality of my weekend though.

 

Friday I am "off duty" then by 10am/10:30.

 

Saturday my mum will pop by for an overdue visit (we talked yesterday and it seems we both miss each other), plus she has an idea for my shower walls, so we'll give that a try, among other things. And the little one has a birthday invitation, that'll be fun for him.

 

Sunday no plans, as per the "let's rest on Sundays"-plan.

 

I have no idea what I want to cook the next few days, there's champignons and one meager paprika left in the fridge, and that's easy enough to fry up and maybe make a casserole out of, but I feel I should be planning some cooked meals for the weekend... but it's so frikkin warm, everyone is sniffling (except I) and I am just not in the mood for "meh, I don't want to eat that"-conversations. Maybe I'll just ask the boys what they want to cook (& eat). Maybe if I ask what ingredients I should get for them on my grocery haul, I'll get a proper answer out of them. Delegate. It has worked in the past.

 

So far my morning thoughts.

The little one wanted to sleep in my bed, even though he slept there the night before too, but hubby has been here yesterday, little one and I watched a movie until late last night, and with the heat and his sneezing he hasn't been sleeping so well, so I allowed it.

He's still asleep, even though he needs to leave for daycare soon. They'll build wooden flying contraptions today. At least that's what the plan said. They were in the botanical garden yesterday, there's a biannual butterfly exhibit there at the moment. Biannual meaning every other year, not twice a year.

So they looked at all the butterflies and he really liked it, he said.

Tomorrow they'll make hotdogs. Which he loves. I hope it all works out.

 

Two more full weeks until the school year starts. I haven't bought any school supplies yet, no money for that atm. Hope it works out. First week of school will be an expensive one! All the workbooks and stuff. I really should go and hit the office tomorrow morning.

 

Oh, I handed in all my information, very soon I will get my contract, I'll be employed Sept 1 onward. Yay!

 

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send from my phone, through tapatalk, bear with me.

 

 

 

 

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

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Catching up today.  Your camping trip sounded amazing!  Hope you are managing to stay cool with that heat wave.  I was so grateful to leave London when we did but the weather was lovely for the 2.5 days we were in England!!! (yes I was close but no time to get away for a real visit :nonchalance:)  I've come back to our late summer monsoon rain and thunderstorms.  It's lovely to see so much rain in our high mountain desert.  

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I've been thinking of ya lately.  I'm not sure I always know what to say that helps, but know I am here.  Reading and listening when you need it.  

 

Yeah for getting started with the new job in September.  That gives you plenty of time to get ready for that new adventure!!!  What would you like to eat this weekend?  You didn't ask yourself that question...  I am missing fresh tomatoes and mushrooms with pasta.  I might have to make some with zoodles this weekend.  

 

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Ranger-Monk Hybrid

I am a strong little powerhouse 

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Battle/Quest Log and Instagram: TerraOracle

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Catching up today.  Your camping trip sounded amazing!  Hope you are managing to stay cool with that heat wave.  I was so grateful to leave London when we did but the weather was lovely for the 2.5 days we were in England!!! (yes I was close but no time to get away for a real visit default_nonchalance.png)  I've come back to our late summer monsoon rain and thunderstorms.  It's lovely to see so much rain in our high mountain desert.  68830mu9fdbz.jpg

 

I've been thinking of ya lately.  I'm not sure I always know what to say that helps, but know I am here.  Reading and listening when you need it.  

 

Yeah for getting started with the new job in September.  That gives you plenty of time to get ready for that new adventure!!!  What would you like to eat this weekend?  You didn't ask yourself that question...  I am missing fresh tomatoes and mushrooms with pasta.  I might have to make some with zoodles this weekend.  

 

 

Hey Terra, it's all good. You don't have to say anything specific. The connection is there regardless. I oftentimes don't know what to say on people's threads either, it still counts. 

Beautiful pucture, thank you!

 

The whole "what do you want to eat, you haven't asked that"-thing, I feel like there's this forum thing happening, where it is utterly clear and obvious to me, but I am missing some crucial part of information in my descriptions that makes it sound like I am not taking propper care of myself. But I am, I promise.

The thing missing is that I recently added a Who Makes Supper/Dinner List. So Mondays are weird and unpredictable, but Tuesdays and Fridays I cook or make open-faced sandwiches for everyone, Wednesdays and Saturdays it's BabyBoy's turn, and Thursdays and Sundays it's BigBoy's turn.

So I am actually off duty regarding feeding small humans, or at least reduced to support role, which is really nice. AND the monsters learn to think about what they want to eat, learn how much frikkin work it all is, and get used to taking care of themselves and each other in a very fair kind of co-operative way.

BONUS did I mention that I get to be not-(fully)-responsible at times? So awesome!

Yes, weekends when they are at grandma's, the list falls apart, but who cares!?

 

That's why I didn't ask what I wanted to eat. A I do weigh in with what I would really not like eating. B I am not very picky at all and C it's not my turn to worry about food and feeding people. Yay.

 

Thursday was a wash. Friend/acquaintance messaged about minor sunstroke/over-exposure and asked to reschedule, we did, for today in the early evening.

So the kids and I hid indoors because of the frikkin heatwave and I finished Star Trek Voyager, and watched the first episode, and only the first episode, of Katee Sackhoff's new Another Life. Liking it A LOT. Very afraid about the fact that it is only 10 Episodes long, and how I tend to binge lately.

Watched another few episodes of Star Trek with Capt. Kirk... hard to swallow the 1960ies vibes... but enjoying it as best I can, knowing it's "only" 3 seasons long. May have to switch to another story line again at some point, to wash my palate... I grew up with Voyager, loved it. A strong female lead with a fancy version of my own first name (Katrin / Kathryn)? Which girl wouldn't love that, honestly. But I never watched Enterprise or the Original or even Deep Space Nine for more than an episode here and there... so a while ago I started (re)watching things, I had the idea to stay in chronological order, but just couldn't untangle it all. Plus watching the original for any length of time was rubbing me the wrong way, so I jumped back and forth between original ST and DS9 but then I took a detour through all that is voyager, and I haven't regretted it, but now I don't know how to watch the things... I'll wing it for now. Feeling a bit silly about myself.

 

 

Friday I went to the office. They need more information or they can't determine if we actually need support. Awesome. It's almost the first and I have no idea what to do if we can't sort this out soon. Thanks for more work. And thanks for (NOT!) letting me know!

 

Then therapy. Feeling a bit directionless at the moment. Bit overwhelmed. Talking helped a little. Not sure.

 

Did the groceries haul, BigBoy wants to make something with sausages, pesto calabrese and spaghetti, BabyBoy wants to make something mashed potatoes and tiny meat balls (bought ones, that are advertised to be put in soups), that kind of stuff.

Skipped going to the electrician's to ask if my lamp is repairable and what it would cost, because I have no picture of the lamp and even if I had one, I have no money, so I cycled home, hugely sunny day, not awesome on my neck and shoulders. Got home to find my still-husband rummaging through our old account statements, trying to sort it all out, so I could hand it in that same day before they close. Of course it was not all sorted in time, I could have told him that, did say as much to the therapist when I planned out loud how I would sort the shit out through the weekend and hand it in Monday morning with a "I need to speak with someone about this right away - yes I have time to wait".

And no, he did not ask me if he could come by, and yes, he knew I wasn't home, and yeah the kid let him in, and no I was not happy. Still am not.

He sorted all the account statements, but I will still have to copy them all, so thanks for nothing much except more stress!

 

Today the little one has a bday invite for 14:40. We ate breakfast together, I will shower first, then he will (? We'll see.) Then we get a list of things done, including a timer decluttering/cleaning in our zones. We're currently in zone 4 "bedroom/library" in my room and "bed & bookshelf" in their rooms.

Next week is livingroom for me and floors for the kids. Looking forward to getting things in order. Plus getting a handle on the screen times and all that parenting stuff. Being an adult is hard. Serious next level business!

 

Anyway. Gotta get moving. Been hiding for almost half an hour now. Oops.

 

c37e0ad1a90e5c0bf4cb11f9bf9e690b.jpg

 

Love you guys

 

Katrin

a.k.a. Morag

 

send from my phone, bear with me.

 

 

 

 

PS Kid showered AND washed his hair himself. I jist helped with the washing out. This is huge!

 

After getting dressed, he made his bed, and we did a solid 15min timer in our respective areas. I dusted all the book shelves and sorted some of the arts & craft material into a proper container. He sorted quite a bit of his shelves. Atta boy. I did a second timer of Stuff That Belongs Into The Hallway Walk-in Closet, camping leftover stuff. Then I sorted xmas deco and screws and other useful tool stuff into two more boxes, so there's enough room in the Walk-in to put it all away.

 

Mum is here now to help me out with my shower stall and look at old family albums. Gotta run.

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Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

Link to post

We looked at old pictures while the chemical sledgehammer cleaned my shower. Now it's only slightly dirty, no longer disgusting. So it is a solid win.

 

Long talk with mum. Felt good.

 

Had the rescheduled meet with my I Would Like Her To Become My Friend, we talked and talked and talked and walked through the park, sat by the water (pond) until the wind increased and it became too cool. It was very nice. I really like her eyes. We walked here, the kid cooked his pasta stuff while we talked about knitting and stuff. The food was very good and the company was even better.

Yay, catching up and reconnecting.

 

The little one had some fun at the birthday party, not as much as I had anticipated though, not sure what that was about.

 

LittleOne and I played Sushi Go Party and when I won by a hair's breadth the kid had a meltdown. But we haven't played games in a while, losing is not fun. When it was late and the kids both were still playing and the little mongrel wanted me to play even more I just declined, brushed my teeth, pushed BigBoy to do the things he promised me he'd do (taking garbage out and starting the dishwasher) he grumbled Loudly but he complied. And I slept really well, apart from the people talking loudly under my window at 4 am. UGH people!

 

 

Today we get more schtuff done in the decluttering/cleaning department then it's off time. I look forward to knitting a row on my blanket, maybe push towards the toes on the second sock... take more garbage out, copy a pile of account statements, prep my launch pad for tomorrow and overall enjoy the day and be as lazy as I can. Might even grab a picnic blanket and lay in the park... that reduces the discussions about screens... plus getting a bit of a tan would be nice... it is summer afterall. Oh... and help the kid with potato peeling and cooking and such...

 

Anyway looking forward to a sunny Sunday.

 

 

Ten years ago - oh god that hair of mine:

aedbe24ae397af4046cf8154064b253c.jpg

 

Fifteen years ago that kid is now a teen bigger than I am who can cook...

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Thinking about doing something with my hair. Don't want to cut it all off, I love my hair, but life changes inherently bring this urge to change the hair too with them... not sure yet, keeping my foot firmly planted on the break.

I have hacked off my hair and regretted it often enough to know better than to indulge in these urges.

But I am tired of henna-dyeing and tired of hair so long it's barely manageable. Just a little bit off, a nice cut and dyeing a good deal closer to my natural colour (dish water blond) maybe, but I also remember feeling like my natural haircolour is "colourless" and being depressed by it... I have no idea as I said: foot on break pedal for now.

Good thing I have no money for a salon visit anyway.

Looking forward to that visit though, will get an appointment with the boss of my salon, he's cool, and have a solid talk about type and what would be flattering when I start thinking about taking my foot off this break pedal.

 

So far. Lazy morning.

Talk soon.

 

send from my phone, bear with me.

 

 

 

 

Katrin the Morag Lvl 22 Cadet, half klingon, c-licensed trainer, mother of two, gaming nerd

 

Current Challenge

 

Road map to Level 50

Link to post

Just about as late to a party as one can be- in fact, showing up right before closing time, ahem, but I wanted to say that I read through your challenge and I’m so very impressed with you. I can see the bravery in just about every post! Oozing it, really! Wonder when the next challenge is going up and wonder if you’ll be part of it? Would love to follow your journey :) 

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Daily Battle Log, Sweat like an Orc, Live like a Hobbit, and Look like an Elf

Current Challenge: Plague

“As the Wheel of Time turns, places wear many names. Men wear many names, many faces. Different faces, but always the same man. Yet no one knows the Great Pattern the Wheel weaves, or even the Pattern of an Age. We can only watch, and study, and hope.”  Robert Jordan, The Eye of the World

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