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Harriet’s Year of Transformation Act IX
: Hypertrophy Hubris


Harriet

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4 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

 

March 4, 1789, was the first day the new government operated under the newly ratified U.S. Constitution.

 

Or to rephrase: What @Deckard Gainz said. :)

True, but it doesn't go back as far. We would have had to wait another 13 years to celebrate the bicentennial. 

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52,53

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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On 7/4/2019 at 10:52 PM, Harriet said:

Whee. I went to a barbecue and wished people happy independence day. The only problem was when we started talking politics and an American earnestly told me they have the best political system on earth. I laughed maniacally for about 15 seconds. I couldn't help it. At least in my ****hole of the world country we have preferences. In Germany they have a proportional system, but I won't lecture about that. Anyway, the desserts were great and I got to talk to a newish friend who makes video games. Also there was a dramatic moment when the fatty house-made sausages from the local butcher dripped so much fat onto the grill that the whole thing went up in great orange flames, and video game making friend valiantly opened the grill and removed the sausages. All the hair on his arms turned curly and toast-coloured from the blast. 

Fun fact: I will loudly talk about how I think the German political system is superior anytime people talk about best systems (I also have an Angela Merkel throw pillow from a Secret Santa gift a couple years back, so anyone who knows that isn't surprised). I'm a real hit at "Murica" themed parties. :P

 

Sounds like a fun barbecue, regardless!

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23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

True, but it doesn't go back as far. We would have had to wait another 13 years to celebrate the bicentennial. 

 

Wait, it was a bicentennial independence day? No one mentioned it. 
 

4 hours ago, Mike Wazowski said:

Fun fact: I will loudly talk about how I think the German political system is superior anytime people talk about best systems (I also have an Angela Merkel throw pillow from a Secret Santa gift a couple years back, so anyone who knows that isn't surprised). I'm a real hit at "Murica" themed parties. :P


Yeah, I have respect for Merkel. Of course, she was the leader of Germany's mainstream conservative party. Which just shows how different the scenes are in America and Germany.

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3 hours ago, Harriet said:

Wait, it was a bicentennial independence day? No one mentioned it. 

 I meant 1976 vs 1989.

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52,53

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Right. I should have known American didn't declare independence in 1819. Actually, we went to see Hamilton last night, so my knowledge of American history has increased by about 500%. It was all very triumphant, King George was clearly a Very Bad Man, and there was no mention of the indigenous people they were presumably fighting, nor the black slaves and indentured white servants that I read about in Howard Zinn's People's History of America (which I really need to continue reading). It was, however, very entertaining and well performed. Amazing music and dance, and really groovy costumes. 

Last week was not very productive. I slept poorly thanks to a creature moving into our ceiling and scurrying about at 3am on a couple of consecutive mornings. Also due to weekday drinking (I blame the long weekend), which makes me more tired the next day, which makes it more likely I will want another drink that evening and also that I will stay up late at the computer. There was no taekwondo on Thursday, and I skipped my Friday workout. Well, it's Monday, and this week is pristine and filled with potential. I will do all the workouts, I will get back to meditation, reading, cleaning, and sketching, and there will be no alcohol or staying up late. 

 

71.2kg today, which I think is the same as when I started.

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Squat day today. I got four reps at 145lb. I was slightly disappointed, but then looked at my notebook and realised that last time, I only got three reps AND I failed my back-off set of 135lb. Today I got all 5 reps of the back-off set, so I think that's an improvement. The rest of the workout was long and tiring and generally not glorious, with lighter weights and higher reps. Bench at 75lb, seated cable rows at 85lb, kettlebell bottom up press at 13lb, and slow kicks (front, roundhouse and side) where I hold my leg in the extended position for a couple of seconds.  

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40 minutes ago, Harriet said:


These look a lot cuter than what I envisioned. 

 

Yeah. It's probably a bat. Sleep well!

 

I used to get bats every summer, at 2-3 am, in an old apartment I had. If you have a 6" aquarium net and a piece of cardboard I can help you.

 

Or, just open a damn window. Why I didn't think of this the first year it happened, idk.

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Curl Brogo said:

 

Yeah. It's probably a bat. Sleep well!

 

I used to get bats every summer, at 2-3 am, in an old apartment I had. If you have a 6" aquarium net and a piece of cardboard I can help you.

 

Or, just open a damn window. Why I didn't think of this the first year it happened, idk.

 

Oh, I thought it might be a possum. It seems to be in the space between our ceiling (we're in the granny flat/downstairs) and upstairs... there's no window or anything, I don't know where it got in, and I don't have access to upstairs in order to check, because someone else lives there. The landlady called a trapper, who put a large cage at the front of the house (wrong spot!) with some cat food. I wasn't super impressed by the plan. Today, the cat food is gone and there's nothing in the cage. Pretty sure the next door neighbour's cat or some other cunning creature ate the bait without triggering the trap. 

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18 hours ago, Harriet said:

called a trapper, who put a large cage at the front of the house (wrong spot!) with some cat food. I wasn't super impressed by the plan. Today, the cat food is gone and there's nothing in the cage. Pretty sure the next door neighbour's cat or some other cunning creature ate the bait without triggering the trap. 

First off, you bait the trap with peanut butter and/or Captain Crunch. Second, I'm envisioning something like this:

giphy.gif

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2 hours ago, JustCallMeAmber said:

First off, you bait the trap with peanut butter and/or Captain Crunch. Second, I'm envisioning something like this:

giphy.gif


Yeah, the guy said he was going to bait with peanut butter, but then he used cat food. I don't know why. Also, that cat is surprisingly chill. If I tried to pick up a cat in my mouth I'd fear for my face. And my eyes. And my life. 

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I had a taekwondo practice test today. It went fine. Apparently I got the back stance wrong, but we only learned it recently. Also, I got the feedback that my moves are powerful. No one else got that feedback. YEAH. Still feeling groggy and unmotivated. Haven't done anything but the absolute basics for a few days: grocery shopping, workouts, cooking dinner. This is a actually lot better than my off days used to be. 

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5 minutes ago, Harriet said:

Also, I got the feedback that my moves are powerful. No one else got that feedback. YEAH.

 

Of course they are. You are powerful. B)

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Lifting felt like a long, hard slog today. I felt awful by the second exercise, but I completed everything. I got 5 reps on my 185lb deadlift. That's one more than last time. I also got a couple more reps of the light overhead press, a couple more incline pushups, and the pull-up negatives went better--I was able to hold myself at the top for a smidgen longer. So apparently feeling awful does not indicate that there will be no progress. 

Still, I have to get the sleep back on track. I must turn off the screens and read or meditate for at least half an hour before bedtime (longer is ideal, I know). I haven't had the discipline to turn them off at 9pm, so I'll try 10pm for now. Then I have to turn off the thought-faucet when I get into bed and actually relax. I think I've noticed a pattern. If, when I get into bed, I allow myself to chase thoughts around, I take longer to fall asleep. Hardly surprising. The weird bit is, when I wake up at, say, 3am, I am more likely to wake up fully than to roll over and go back to sleep, if I fell asleep with a head full of thoughts. It's like I want to continue where I left off. The early morning wakefulness is more detrimental to my total sleep experience than merely taking a bit longer to doze off in the first place. So I have to be a bit more disciplined and calm my mind as soon as I go to bed. 


I just realised I said above I've only been doing shopping, cooking, and workouts. I should add that I have been writing every non-Saturday day (except one--there is now $10 in the envelope of shame) since signing the contract with my brother in the beginning of May. 


Also, I am working on another battle. I am not anxious about many things at the moment because I have a routine. But I got super nervous about the taekwondo test last night. I really dislike the physical sensation of nerves, it's highly unpleasant. But I tried to control the interpretive aspect by thanking the fire spirits for the berserker potion, and appreciating that the potion (adrenaline, glucocorticoids etc) was actually releasing fats and sugars from my cells into my blood so I could use them for energy, and helping my heart beat faster so I could get more oxygen to my muscles. This is preferable to getting tired during the test, right? I told myself the same thing this morning when I had deadlift jitters. One day, I will be totally accustomed to anxiety and will feel quite neutral about it. 

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6 hours ago, Harriet said:

Also, I am working on another battle. I am not anxious about many things at the moment because I have a routine. But I got super nervous about the taekwondo test last night. I really dislike the physical sensation of nerves, it's highly unpleasant. But I tried to control the interpretive aspect by thanking the fire spirits for the berserker potion, and appreciating that the potion (adrenaline, glucocorticoids etc) was actually releasing fats and sugars from my cells into my blood so I could use them for energy, and helping my heart beat faster so I could get more oxygen to my muscles. This is preferable to getting tired during the test, right? I told myself the same thing this morning when I had deadlift jitters. One day, I will be totally accustomed to anxiety and will feel quite neutral about it. 

 

It is absolutely preferably to being tired! Anxiety is not the enemy. (Title of a short podcast that let to my own thoughts about anxiety as a form of pyromancy.)

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29

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17 hours ago, Harriet said:

But I tried to control the interpretive aspect by thanking the fire spirits for the berserker potion, and appreciating that the potion (adrenaline, glucocorticoids etc) was actually releasing fats and sugars from my cells into my blood so I could use them for energy, and helping my heart beat faster so I could get more oxygen to my muscles. This is preferable to getting tired during the test, right? I told myself the same thing this morning when I had deadlift jitters. One day, I will be totally accustomed to anxiety and will feel quite neutral about it. 

MOTHERFUCKING BERSERKER POTION!!! I love it. 

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18 hours ago, Harriet said:

But I tried to control the interpretive aspect by thanking the fire spirits for the berserker potion, and appreciating that the potion (adrenaline, glucocorticoids etc) was actually releasing fats and sugars from my cells into my blood so I could use them for energy, and helping my heart beat faster so I could get more oxygen to my muscles.

 

11 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

anxiety as a form of pyromancy

 

I just love these approaches to anxiety so, so much.  I need a reminder of this on a sticky note in my office. . . And my car. . .  And probably at home.

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38 minutes ago, raptron said:

MOTHERFUCKING BERSERKER POTION!!! I love it. 

 

Heheh. I've also been developing little animist prayers and meditations to help with various things. Most commonly, I run through a visualisation whereby I entreat the spirits of the earth to grant me equanimity, valour and resolve. Hmmm, gotta get back to the air meditation, too, it was good. 

Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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3 hours ago, snowkc said:

I just love these approaches to anxiety so, so much.  I need a reminder of this on a sticky note in my office. . . And my car. . .  And probably at home.

 

I took Harriet's fire spirit approach, combined it with the Dark Souls view on pyromancy... and voila, Flame of Anxiety! Let it burn unchecked and it destroys you. Control it too tightly and it builds up pressure that eventually explodes and destroys you. Or learn to live with it, to direct it and to let it burn without burning wild, and now you can use it and draw strength from it. :)

 

I like visualizing something similar to the pyromancy animations from these games, where the fire concentrates around the pyromancer's hands and prepares to soar forward and immolate any fool who dares to attack me whatever is going on that is making me anxious.

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29

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19 hours ago, scalyfreak said:

I took Harriet's fire spirit approach, combined it with the Dark Souls view on pyromancy... and voila, Flame of Anxiety!

 

I just googled dark souls because I've never heard of it. Wiki says it's widely regarded as one of the best games ever made. Hmmm.

Last night our taekwondo class was taken over by yongmudo practitioners. I thought we were going to do cool takedowns and grips, but we only did falls and rolls. I didn't really understand the back roll very well and ended up putting a bit of strain on my neck. I became nauseous, not sure if it was from rolling or from smacking my head on the mat. Also, I seem to have developed a lump in my wrist that google says is a ganglion cyst. This is why I don't like fucking about doing weird exercises like army crawls and shrimping on the mat--I wish to avoid injuries so I can keep lifting. Anyway, google says it's harmless but it could explain the discomfort I've had with pushups at times. I might have to do pushups off closed fists for now. Hopefully it won't interefere with my bench. I should be attempting a new weight today. 

Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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Most ganglion cysts are super harmless and matter little. I've got quite a few and they just kind of hang out, disappear, and reappear whenever. Definitely haven't interfered with bench. You can, rarely, manage to get one that is embedded/twisted in more important structures of your wrists or push on yours nerves. If that happens, you can get them drained. 

 

Backwards rolling does not come easily for most people. But it does get fun once you get use to it and get over the dizziness related to it. 

 

Hope you feel good for your bench workout today. :)

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Bench PR: 100lb x 4

I would have tried for a fifth rep, but I tapped the pins and lost concentration. Still, the pins are pretty useful overall. My wrist was a little uncomfortable rather than painful. It was a little peturbing to think about putting ~50lb of pressure on a weird, unwelcome sack of fluid nestled in between the bones in my hand, so I tried hard to not to. Meanwhile, light squats are almost as difficult and exhausting as heavy squats, even though I'm only adding a few more reps. How is that even possible? 

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19 hours ago, Harriet said:

 

I just googled dark souls because I've never heard of it. Wiki says it's widely regarded as one of the best games ever made. Hmmm.

 

By its fans, absolutely.

 

By those who tried it and dislike it, it's regarded as a game that is intentionally designed to make it an ordeal to play, far too difficult, ridiculously obscure with whatever story is there, and not worth your time. It's one of those niche games whose fans are loyal to the point of fanaticism, but it's definitely not for everyone. Rent before buying.

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Book Riot Challenge 2021

“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26; Ch 27; Ch 28; Ch 29

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Week something-or-other summary:

 

I'm 71.0kg/156lb today, pretty much the same as the last two weeks. So the weight gain from the intuitive eating seems to have settled down, now that I'm past the "permissive" i.e. eat-all-the-things phase. 

 

I did the longer, lighter, higher rep workouts with more exercises, as I said I would. When I felt like quitting because it was hard I reminded myself that it has to be hard if I want to increase my work capacity. And I need better work capacity to maximise my long term strength. 

Extras like meditation and sketching have gone out the window. But I have discovered the joy of earplugs. They are uncomfortable but they stop me waking up so I think the last couple of nights I've gotten better sleep than usual. It could be the start of a new, beautiful, sleepful era. 

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