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Miaulin

Miau's gonna have to take a little time

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( having a rough patch that will necessitate some recovery. feeling generally spooked. still trying to Do The Things, but will be scarce for the time being. u_u )

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51 minutes ago, Miaulin said:
  • and trying to do Camp NaNoWriMo come July. I've been steadily losing my writing abilities since i was about fifteen and i Don't Like It. i used to easily knock out 5k in one sitting but now it's all an agonizing battle to write anything. feels like none of it is any good...so i'm set to intentionally write talentless sludge until i get back some traction and start to rebuild some actual skill.

 

 

NaNo is so fun!! Sometimes you just have to write nonsense for a while until better words come out, but writing the nonsense is fun too. :)

 

(Following!) 

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giphy.gif

 

WHAT IS THIS CAMP NANOWRIMO THAT YOU SPEAK OF

 

I AM ONLY FAMILIAR WITH THE ORIGINAL

 

Also hello, and I love love love your goals, and I'm so excited for your narrative!!  :D 

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5 hours ago, Miaulin said:

feels like none of it is any good

Maybe it's not bad, but you put too high expectations on yourself? When I create something, I am rarely content with the outcome - all I see are flaws and errors I made in the process. But people compliment my works, so maybe it's similar case. 

 

And one more thing

5 hours ago, Miaulin said:

looking for a church to join

How does this work? Is it so formal you have to fill out the form? Sounds like a job application. 

Don't get me wrong, I just don't understand the idea of "joining" the church. In Poland, churches are open for everybody, you just walk in. Or, maybe, I take the word "church" too literally. Is it about joining a community formed around the church?

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21 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

NaNo is so fun!! Sometimes you just have to write nonsense for a while until better words come out, but writing the nonsense is fun too. :)

 

Exactly! I've made varying efforts with it since 2011 (which was my best attempt XD) and for this Camp i want to embrace the fun, nonsense-is-encouraged spirit of it ^_^ it's great to see you!

 

21 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

I'm always so impressed with people who do Camp NaNo and NaNo itself! I'm following along and cheering you on!

 

Heyoo! Thanks so much :D

 

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

WHAT IS THIS CAMP NANOWRIMO THAT YOU SPEAK OF

 

I AM ONLY FAMILIAR WITH THE ORIGINAL

16 hours ago, Salinger said:

Hey, yes whats the Camp one??

 

Okay so in the Original NaNoWriMo that happens each November, everybody's official goal is the same: fifty-thousand words. some people choose to write more, and there's also always a Rebel's Guild, but for the most part, it's all set. With Camp NaNoWriMo, every April and July, everyone can customize their own goal. I don't know if there's a minimum, but you can set the goal lower than 50K, or higher, and you have the option not to go by wordcount at all but rather by minutes or hours spent working on a project, or pages or lines written. It's even more casual and relaxed than the traditional NaNoWriMo. There are also 'Cabin Assignments', where you're basically assigned a little chat group of other writers you can talk to over the course of the month. Some Cabins really go for it and arrange games, swaps, discussions, and other activities among themselves. Preferences can be set to have you grouped with others writing the same Genre, working on similar projects, or other criteria...or you can set up a private cabin and invite whom you want, or be invited to someone else's cabin. Anybody can opt out of a cabin (or cabins in general, for those who like to go it alone) and even join a new one at any time.

 

17 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Also hello, and I love love love your goals, and I'm so excited for your narrative!!  :D

16 hours ago, Salinger said:

Im following and supporting you as ever :D xx

 

Thank you kindly mes amies!

 

16 hours ago, aramis said:

Maybe it's not bad, but you put too high expectations on yourself? When I create something, I am rarely content with the outcome - all I see are flaws and errors I made in the process. But people compliment my works, so maybe it's similar case. 

 

Fair enough! It isn't so much bad, then, as it is definitely stiff and a little awkward, perhaps, and doesn't come without a battle. So, in need of some exercise to build strength and loosen up those writing joints. ^_^

 

16 hours ago, aramis said:

How does this work? Is it so formal you have to fill out the form? Sounds like a job application. 

Don't get me wrong, I just don't understand the idea of "joining" the church. In Poland, churches are open for everybody, you just walk in. Or, maybe, I take the word "church" too literally. Is it about joining a community formed around the church?

 

Nah, no applications involved.Churches are open to everyone here, too,  'Joining' is mostly just a "hey, i'm here/to stay" kind of thing...kind of Community, as you said. Typically a person visits a church a few, or several times. Attends the services, maybe even a Sunday Morning Class, gets the feel of the place, and can ask to become a member. There's no questionnaire (they might ask if you've been baptized or something, depending on the denomination) or fee or anything, but it's just kind of a distinction between 'visitor/just passing through' and an intention to participate. Lets the congregation, or community, know you're one of theirs, it's a way of putting down some roots.  So...typically if you're a visitor, then yeah you just walk in, but if you 'join' and become a member, it means you're a little more involved in what that particular church is doing. I hope that makes any sense at all.

 

But also, and almost more importantly, when i say we're 'looking for a church to join', i mean i'm contacting places to get some idea of what they stand for before we even make that first visit, because unfortunately around here there's a particularly high concentration of churches using 'Christianity' as a platform for some really bad takes, so i'm trying to check places ahead of time to make sure they're not encouraging racism or promoting Trump from the pulpit or something. 

 

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Zero Week Day Two:

Still Way Too Tired For Anything, but did my stretching and a small handweights workout, took vitamins, ate food. Will Walk and Read before bed. Tomorrow's plan is to do the reading and break out my notebooks to try to write some before ever turning the laptop on to see if that helps with focus at all, because as it is i'm a bit locked out of my brain. Maybe there've been too many stories in there for too long and it's all clogged up :lol: nothing else really to report except that some more Marvel is supposed to arrive tomorrow, including Spider-Man: Homecoming, so yay for superhero inspo. We're almost caught up to Infinity War, but i doubt Endgame will be released yet alone Watched before we go see Far From Home for my brother's birthday. 

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2 hours ago, Miaulin said:

Maybe there've been too many stories in there for too long and it's all clogged up :lol:

 

I have no idea if this really happens, but it is a FEEL. I have experienced this very thing.

 

Camp NaNoWriMo sounds amazing, but I think I don't have time to keep up with it right now, sadly.  :(  I'm definitely cheering you on though!!

 

2 hours ago, Miaulin said:

Still Way Too Tired For Anything, but did my stretching and a small handweights workout, took vitamins, ate food. Will Walk and Read before bed.

 

Good for you!! I'm so proud of you!

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Being part of a strong church can be such an encouragement . Praying for you to find a church that loves the Lord and His word.

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so i was just going to crawl in a hole for a bit and leave it at that, but now it strikes me it might come across a bit rude to just vanish (again) with nothing but an edited post, so

 

mind's being wibbly again. After being unreasonably tired all last week, Monday i woke up with chest pain like i haven't had since 2016, and this kind of...building unease and disconnect until on Tuesday i wound up self-harming. Though Dr. Google is of the opinion that my brand of that is more under the 'OCD' set. It looks worse than it is. Managed to keep anyone from noticing until today. Momsauce was upset as i'd worried she would be. I'm not miserable or anything right now is the kicker, and today has actually been really good. I've just had this flighty feeling for a few days.  ( can't go see a doctor about any of this as i've no medical insurance to speak of, which won't be remedied until i can complete my diploma (which begins in September) and get a job, so, have to manage as best i can until then )

 

i'm still trying to keep up with my usual goals of exercise, water, memrise, the CampNaNoWriMo, but my goal for this challenge has shifted now to be a Screen Break, looking for a bit of Quiet. I'll still check in on Saturdays to keep up with what everyone else is doing, though <3

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2 hours ago, Miaulin said:

so i was just going to crawl in a hole for a bit and leave it at that, but now it strikes me it might come across a bit rude to just vanish (again) with nothing but an edited post, so

 

mind's being wibbly again. After being unreasonably tired all last week, Monday i woke up with chest pain like i haven't had since 2016, and this kind of...building unease and disconnect until on Tuesday i wound up self-harming. Though Dr. Google is of the opinion that my brand of that is more under the 'OCD' set. It looks worse than it is. Managed to keep anyone from noticing until today. Momsauce was upset as i'd worried she would be. I'm not miserable or anything right now is the kicker, and today has actually been really good. I've just had this flighty feeling for a few days.  ( can't go see a doctor about any of this as i've no medical insurance to speak of, which won't be remedied until i can complete my diploma (which begins in September) and get a job, so, have to manage as best i can until then )

 

i'm still trying to keep up with my usual goals of exercise, water, memrise, the CampNaNoWriMo, but my goal for this challenge has shifted now to be a Screen Break, looking for a bit of Quiet. I'll still check in on Saturdays to keep up with what everyone else is doing, though <3

 

Hey Mia....really sad to read you are not feeling good. Sorry you self harmed. Is it clean? Do you need stitches? If so you really need to go to the doctors. 

 

I understand that flighty feeling, even when things are good or fine. Its frustrating isnt it !

 

Im thinking of you alot, and hoping things improve. As always, if you want to talk, but away from here, im always available. Miss you xx

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I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. Sending lots of love and support your way. Please know that you can reach out to me if you ever need a person to talk to!

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*slinks back in*

 

so i've pretty much missed the challenge <.< and pretty much haven't been doing, ah, anything since then. been a little 'spacey' as my brother helpfully commented. not been sleeping super well either (jolt awake twice each night with hammering heart) but anyway, happening:

 

  • hand's all healed up. there's a scar but that'll eventually fade back into a blood pressure alarm like it used to be.
  • momsauce and i visited the only church that didn't leave me on Read and it seems like a good place, very focused on community service. we saw a rainbow in the sky afterward so that was nice :3
  • ive kinda been neglecting real food in favor of Bread Products despite being Allergic To Wheat and while it hasn't Killed Me Dead Yet i do need to munch some Real Food.
  • finally got brave enough to actually try making cauliflower rice stir-fry the other day tho and found that I Like It tres bien
  • might be able to borrow my grandad's bike soon (yay)
  • after so very enjoying braiding my hair having learned how at long last...i'm now ready to just. cut it alllll cut it alllllll don't want it long anymoooooore, cut it aaaaa i got possessed by frozen for a second, sorry <.<
  • i think my quarter-life crisis hit here recently tbh i was straight-up even thinking about a real-life name change and everything. (i think a name about halfway stuck, too)
  • tomorrow's only official 'job' is to do my workout but i should probably also do some cleaning and. eat food and stuff. i bought lettuce today. *deploys glitter pompoms*

and yeah! sorry for being Dramatic again, but thanks for the encouraging/supportive comments, they were much appreciated <3 i've still been lurking on various threads and keeping you all in prayers and thinks and long-distance cheering for everyone <3

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On 7/22/2019 at 1:42 AM, Salinger said:

Hey Mia so good to see you. Sending you masses of love and support xx

 

giphy.gif

it's great to see you too :3

 

 

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ngl i'm having a bit of a Struggle here lately in terms of mental health doing weird things, the settings changing more rapidly (i think) than i'm used to. From one hour to the next i'm going from this kind of...overly optimistic and excited and making plans and gogogo to more like, not wanting to exist and ugggggh don't even want to move type of feelings. so that's fun. i've also been in a bit of a hyper-organizing kick between fits of zero brainpower?

 

which did lead to drawing up an intensely thorough budget but on the other hand also had me in flowchart mode trying to math how my family could possibly eventually afford a trip somewhere because we've not gone anywhere in a vacation sense since i was too young to remember. ( i learned that hotels are Very Expensive but i've also picked out a B&B i'm Determined to drag my mother to some time before the Second Coming of Christ ) got my school stuff all mapped out as well.

 

i have done exercise this week, more than once. feel a bit dreadful today (allergies? cold? the world might never know) and so none today, just chugging water and continuing to pore over my budget-making like whatever would be a good comparison for obsessively writing down and reorganizing the same information like thirty times in a row. i have to bug my mom for more info about the bills' due-by dates in order to map further ahead.

 

also during all of this i've learned that the maybe-second-nearest city is where all the good stuff is and is now the setting of no fewer than three Future Plans ( December, Next Year's Birthday, and An Unknown Future Date That's Totally Definitely Actually Happening )

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Hey Mia sorry you haven’t been great mentally. You are so inspiring and lovely and you keep going regardless. That’s impressive and I’m sending you love and happiness xxx

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Love you so much, Miau! You're still showing up and doing stuff even when you feel crappy and that is ever so Rangerly!!  <3 <3 <3  I hope things settle back to an even keel before too long - and I definitely hope the trip adventure happens!! That would be so lovely for you guys and a much needed break!!

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Hey Mia! I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your mental health. If you ever need a listening ear, my inbox is always open <3 Sending you oodles of love and support! Keep up the good work-- you're doing great :) 

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