show up for yourself RES: Keeps on Going and Going

[RES]

 

Continuation of a theme...recap from prior(s)

 

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It's no secret I'm not a patient person. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is I didn't get this way overnight, and I can't fix it overnight. Fixing it takes consistency, building habits that will last, not just get me to the goal and then going back to what I was doing and losing all progress made. I've learned a whole lot about what DOESN'T work for me lately, I've also learned that I can't abuse my body the way I used to when I was younger, recovery takes too damn long now! 

I've been following a couple podcasts, one is Not Your Average Runner, the other is Phit-N-Phat, NYAR talks about running at any size and age, realistically. She also stresses the importance of not quitting on yourself, habit rather than motivation, and other types of good stuff. Phit-N-Phat is a woman that lost over 100 lbs and kept it off 24 hours at a time. She's where I stole the line "I didn't die or get pregnant" from. She talks about being realistic, making a 24 hour plan and sticking to it, (if you're going to have 12 hershey's kisses for breakfast, put it on your plan! LOL) and a lot of don't follow a diet unless that's how you're really going to eat...make it sustainable. If you want to eat Paleo or Keto for the rest of your life, fine, but don't do it to get to a goal weight and then go back. Pay attention to how you feel, are you really hungry? Are you bored? Are you eating your feelings? A lot of other good stuff from her too but I'd be here all day and I do have to work at some point 

 

The goals...

Lose 50 lbs (total) by October, 31st, that's 5 lbs a month

January - Done!

February - Done!

March - Done!

April - in progress

 

The Plan....

1. Three interval runs, and one strength training a week. Look for someplace to make one of these runs outside.

2. Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full.

3. Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read.

 

Yes, baseball season is in full swing, I'm trying to not disappear here but mid challenge 43 my marriage fell apart, granted, it was only hanging on by a thread to begin with...

Things are really up in the air with that right now, we're still living together, we are trying to be civil and be friends...it's tough, not gonna lie, not looking for sympathy it just is what it is.

 

So more than ever I need to meet my goals,  running and training help keep me sane, I really miss when I don't do it...where I struggle most is finding me time, especially now.

 

 

 

I have taken some steps towards some goals to reach before the big birthday, I want to run (not walk) a 5K, and complete a 10K. Signed up for both of these the other day, the 5k is on September 28th and the 10k is on October 26th.  Which should give ample time after season to get my ass in shape...actually my ass is not the problem, it's the rest of me...the ass looks pretty decent I've been told  

 

So the big goal is still this...

Lose 50 lbs (total) by October, 31st, that's 5 lbs a month

January - Done!

February - Done!

March - Done!

April - Done

May - Nope

June - Double Nope  

 

 

The Plan....

1. Three interval runs, and one strength training a week. Make one of these runs outside when possible. Non-game days only, game days give me at least 10,000 steps and at least 20 flights of stairs

2. Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full.

3. Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read

 

That's it, continuing to keep it simple because it's working!

 

The plan has been going well, the big goal not as much  I need to get back on track with that since it's just me making excuses that's causing it. 

Next month we'll get to find out what my grandchild is going to be...I need cool grandma names because I'm to young to be called grandma!  

 

Work is still amazing, life is still pretty damn good, I just need to convince some people it's not the end of the world because it's not going how they want it to!

 

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

First and following!

[Sylvaa]

1 hour ago, RES said:

Next month we'll get to find out what my grandchild is going to be...I need cool grandma names because I'm to young to be called grandma!  

 

My kids think it is funny to call me "Glamma" - you can have it if you want it!

 

Following, of course!

[RES]

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

First and following!

YAY!!

 

So I just looked at my schedule and realized in order to be ready to run my 5k, I need to start my training (from Run your best life) on 7/7...

I may die, almost all of July is games

[RES]

1 minute ago, Sylvaa said:

 

My kids think it is funny to call me "Glamma" - you can have it if you want it!

 

Following, of course!

Mine would roll their eyes, which is a great reason to borrow it  

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

 

[fleaball]

[Thom Stépan]

Your 5k is a day before my 10k. Woohoo training buddies.

Sister in law uses Mammar.

I believe Edda is old Norse for granma,

Nona is Italian.

Or you could go for Grandmama;

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

[Mistr]

Following your epic quest.

 

My only thought on running is to go out in the middle of the night or early in the morning before it gets hot. I don't know how anyone can survive running on hot days. I would substitute laps in the pool every time.

 

Nana is a nice easy to pronounce grandmother name.

[NicTheRugger]

Following along for your awesome goals!

[RES]

Weekly recap time

The Plan....

1. Three interval runs, and one strength training a week. Make one of these runs outside when possible. Non-game days only, game days give me at least 10,000 steps and at least 20 flights of stairs - No strength this week due to the holiday, 4 games but didn't make it to the gym the rest of the week  

2. Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full. - made the plan every day, broke the plan three days...funnel cake with ice cream really is good

3. Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journal, crocheting, or time to read - had 4 days off this week which I took full advantage of "me" time!

 

I heard from my oldest son this week, my daughter in law has been put on bed-rest (best case scenario) for the duration of her pregnancy, she has a partial placental abruption. Worst case is she's admitted to the hospital for the duration  I don't want to think about worse than that

My wife is still in full denial mode, she is trying to make changes but it's still not enough of what I'm asking her to change (and a whole lot of stuff I never asked her to that she thinks will make a difference, when all it does is annoy me) and not enough time to determine if these are for good or just for now (again). I'm starting to feel pressure from her to change my mind and say that of course we'll stay together and everything will be fine.

This leads back to the not hitting the gym this week, she even commented that I haven't been and is everything okay...training for the 5k needs to start today according to the plan I'm using, and I really need to quit making excuses so after this is posted I will get dressed and head there! We have a 6 game home-stand starting Thursday so today, Tuesday, and Thursday are what needs to happen this week to be on track.

 

 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I hope your DIL is ok. I don't know what to hope for with your home situation other than that things work out as they should. 

[Thom Stépan]

Hugs my friend.

Your Daughter will be safe. Yes I know technically in law, but the heart doesnt pay attention to legalities.

As for home and the wife, all I can offer is love and support.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

[RES]

I got another call from my son today, they went to the doctors and everything is fine!! Doctor and the tech both said there is nothing wrong as it shows on the ultrasound...and the Dr also said that the placenta isn't even fully formed at this stage so it's not even possible...

Apparently my granddaughter (80% chance, to my son's dismay  ) is quite the gymnast (takes after her daddy) and is causing her mama no end of back pain

[NicTheRugger]

So glad your daughter-in-law is okay! I'll be keeping her, you, and your family in my thoughts in hopes that everything stays and goes well.

[Thom Stépan]

Your son needs to know daughters are awesome.

Once he sees her face, hears her call him daddy for the first time he will know. Little girls like rough and tumble like little boys. Any activity he wants to do with a son he can do with a daughter. Especially in the early years of life.

As much as my girls do my head in, there is no way I would want sons over daughters. Or daughters over sons for that matter.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

[Mistr]

Yay for starting training for your 5K!

 

I hope you can get your wife to stop doing the annoying things at least. In some ways it is a good sign that she is finally admitting there are problems. Clearly she is not getting it about what the problems are and how to communicate with you about them. Sigh.

[RES]

On 7/8/2019 at 8:19 PM, NicTheRugger said:

So glad your daughter-in-law is okay! I'll be keeping her, you, and your family in my thoughts in hopes that everything stays and goes well.

Thank you so much!

 

On 7/9/2019 at 7:26 PM, Thom Stépan said:

Once he sees her face, hears her call him daddy for the first time he will know. Little girls like rough and tumble like little boys. Any activity he wants to do with a son he can do with a daughter. Especially in the early years of life.
 

I was my fathers shadow until my parents split...I was still most like him even though we didn't always get along

 

On 7/11/2019 at 6:16 PM, Mistr said:

Yay for starting training for your 5K!

 

I hope you can get your wife to stop doing the annoying things at least. In some ways it is a good sign that she is finally admitting there are problems. Clearly she is not getting it about what the problems are and how to communicate with you about them. Sigh.

Thank you!

She's not, and it's so frustrating...I just hate whining about it...I'm just ready for it to be done

[RES]

Wow, two weeks since my last update, how surprising   I keep meaning to come recap but so much has happened and with work it just never got done...

 

I'll start with the goals portion  it's been three weeks since my last goals update...

1. Three interval runs, and one strength training a week. Make one of these runs outside when possible. Non-game days only, game days give me at least 10,000 steps and at least 20 flights of stairs Yes/Missed 1 run/games all week (so yes) still nothing outside but I'm looking to join a run/walk club after season!

2. Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full. yes/yes/derailed 2 days...no regrets that chocolate chip cookie w/ice cream is amazing

3. Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read yes/yes/games all week so no

Overall a pretty successful challenge even though I haven't lost any more weight, I'm keeping goals the same since that will take me into the off season where I will focus more on training schedules since I won't have to deal with gamedays. 

 

So, as everyone knows my wife and I have been having issues (I'm going to call her D because it's quicker than typing out my wife every time.)

A lot of our issues centered around her being in a bad place mentally and not being 'present' in our relationship for the last three years, and honestly, lack of intimacy (sex in particular) for most of the relationship. She had been working on the being present part and had been putting in effort to change this...it was difficult for me to accept because after years of this I was so far over it I didn't want it to work out if I'm being honest. For the other part she was trying, but has come to the realization that she is asexual (sorry if I've gone over any of this before, just honestly trying to collect my thoughts on it because I haven't had a chance to journal about this) I am NOT...I had suggested the possibility of opening our relationship but she had to take some time to think that through....while it may not be a perfect solution in anyone else's mind, it works best for us and our needs. Quite honestly it's been surprisingly beneficial on the communication portion of our relationship which hadn't really been that great since we moved in together.

So that's a lot of the reason I haven't been on here much, and baseball of course  it's very nice not to dread going home at the end of the day or try to avoid certain conversations because you're not sure how the other person will react. I'll have to update my intro portion of the new challenge though!

 

 

[NicTheRugger]

It's wonderful that you and your wife had an opportunity to communicate! And it's very good to hear from you with an update. How's your daughter-in-law doing?

[DarK_RaideR]

[RES]

21 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

It's wonderful that you and your wife had an opportunity to communicate! And it's very good to hear from you with an update. How's your daughter-in-law doing?

Thank you! She's doing good according to my son, they had an appointment Friday and everything seems to be going like it should  

 

9 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

?? why you got nothing to say??

 

[DarK_RaideR]

9 hours ago, RES said:

?? why you got nothing to say??

Because I'm sad and ashamed it took me so long to track down this thread.

[RES]

4 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

Because I'm sad and ashamed it took me so long to track down this thread.

My new thread is up  you've had a lot going on my friend, don't be sad!

[Mistr]

I'm glad to hear you and your wife are communicating better. Not dreading going home is good.  

 

Have either of you been in an open relationship before? I've been in a poly relationship for a long time. I'd be happy to discuss avoiding some of the common pitfalls.