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JustCallMeAmber is a space cadet


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Ship’s log; date unknown. 2 days post-crash (estimated).

System status; buggered.

 

Dear Diary (can I call you Diary? Great, thanks.) Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.

Ah, good, that at least is SOMETHING functioning on this hunk of junk.

Ok, so rewinding just a bit, we (that would be me and MADDY, my mechanical assistance droid) were traveling along headed to the nearest port of call on my star chart, when a series of very bad things happened all at once. I’ll spare you the details, but long story short, we lost power and crash landed on some as-yet uncharted planet. (Not to complain, but how did the scouts miss an ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM?!) Anyways. I’m working on repairing the transmitter, so that I can get a message out for some help. Bad news is that I didn’t exactly score highly on mechanical aptitude at the Academy. I mean, if you’re bringing a mechanic WITH you, why would you need all of that extraneous information floating around? Well, apparently you DO need it if you crash land on an alien planet and your droid goes kaput.

 

Since I’m stuck here until I can signal for help, and MADDY is offline until I can figure out how to repair her, now seems like a good time to formulate a plan. *Rummages through emergency kit; score! Blows dust off cover of official Academy 'Field Guidance' manual.*

 

Ok, let’s see... ah, here we go!

 

Step 1: Survey surroundings. Use your handheld scanner and determine if atmosphere is compatible for respiration. We don’t want you bursting into flames, or turning inside out, now do we? We recommend planetary exploration of approximately 10 minutes per day. Stealth mission, eh? Great! Sounds terrifying.

 

Step 2: Determine status of life support systems. Wait, what? How is that not STEP ONE? I am writing a very strongly worded letter. Very. Strongly. Worded. ANYWAYS. I already did that, you stupid manual!

 

Step 3: Verify ample supplies. In case of emergency, you’ll want enough power pods for at least a fortnight. Right. Those power pods are pretty potent things. I need to ration them out a little, or else I’ll eat them all in one sitting and I can't exactly refill them right now. I’ve got enough to last until the fleet can send a lifeboat, if I’m careful, and assuming I can fix the transmitter. Just need to not eat more than one per day.

 

Step 4: In case of mechanical breakdown, activate your MAD and have it begin assessing the damage. Fabulous. Oh! If your MAD is not responding, it may need recharging. You can use the provided cable, OR IT CAN BE--  * log entry ends abruptly*

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We will never see the best version of ourselves inside our comfort zone

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 3 days post-crash.

Hey? Diary?

Ah, right, sorry about that. I forgot that the datalogs have a time limit when you’re operating on emergency power. Where were we? Of course! We figured out that MADDY can be charged with a hydrogen conversion kit! I’ve got one somewhere in the sorry-excuse-for-a-lab. Fortunately, if there’s one thing this planet has, it is WATER. We just need to refill the reservoir tank with at least 120 units every day until MADDY’s back on her feet.

 

 

In the meantime, I guess I ought to look at the guide to see what’s next:

Step 5: Meet the locals. Preferably before they come to MEAT you. Sheesh. I don’t think this was Academy-approved curriculum, or else their editor has developed an odd sense of humor. But, they do make a fair point; if someone finds me here, questions will be asked, and I don't want to end up as somebody’s lunch based upon my answers. Let’s hope the guys that designed the auto-translator, Duo, are a little better at their jobs than the writers of this ‘guide’ are at theirs. Start small; greet one or two of them. Smile. Don’t stare. Don’t panic if they have more than one face. What’s the worst that could happen? *Clears throat* Hi! I’m Amber. Do you guys play Yahtzee? *fakes explosion; screams dramatically* Right, so I’ll just have a looksee at the next step and come back to that one...

 

Step 6: To combat the effects of interstellar travel, physical activity is recommended daily. Eww. Well, apparently I’ll be walking a fair amount anyway, on account of needing to refill the water reservoir and exposing myself to nuclear radiation for “approximately 10 minutes per day”. Maybe I can find a leash for MADDY and take her for a walk? AHAHAHAHA! Ahem. Sorry. Haven’t had anybody to talk to since she went offline. She wouldn’t get the humor, though. ANYWAYS.

You know, really I ought to get some sort of credit for ‘physical activity’ just maneuvering inside this ship. Some of those maintenance panels I all but bend over backwards to reach. Stretching counts!

 *warning beep* Oh, that’s the timer! Got to go! *log entry ends*

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We will never see the best version of ourselves inside our comfort zone

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Some things I learned from space shows: Always suspect your cyborgs/androids of scheming to kill you. Also, always suspect apparently friendly alien life forms. they want to eat you/put you in a zoo/sacrifice you to a strange god. Suspect your crew mates (they may be alien impersonations). Suspect your ship's central intelligence (it has its own agenda). Suspect the life support (it may be collecting cells as you sleep, to form them into a horrible new life form). Suspect the ship itself (it may be planning to use your remains as replacement parts). Suspect the captain, he may be having a Jekyll and Hyde moment as a result of a malfunctioning teleporter. Suspect the people who sent you on the trip; they probably intended you to die out there, knowing that the time required to complete the trip would surpass your lifetime. Suspect peaceful looking planets, the weather will suddenly and horribly change. Suspect the water. It may be filled with malevolent lifeforms. Did I miss anything? Oh yes. Suspect stars. They may be living organisms that resent being tampered with. And suspect your spacesuit. Its in-built life support system may reanimate you if you die and cause you to run around shooting people with lasers. 

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Let cheese and bread and mead crowd out our secret desires for power and domination.

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Oh this is super fun! I'm definitely getting some Grrr vibes :D

 

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Here for your adventures and all the excellent self care. Here's to another round of gettin er done and keeping those ducks in a row when waters get choppy. 

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On 6/28/2019 at 1:39 PM, Harriet said:

Some things I learned from space shows: Always suspect your cyborgs/androids of scheming to kill you. Also, always suspect apparently friendly alien life forms. they want to eat you/put you in a zoo/sacrifice you to a strange god. Suspect your crew mates (they may be alien impersonations). Suspect your ship's central intelligence (it has its own agenda). Suspect the life support (it may be collecting cells as you sleep, to form them into a horrible new life form). Suspect the ship itself (it may be planning to use your remains as replacement parts). Suspect the captain, he may be having a Jekyll and Hyde moment as a result of a malfunctioning teleporter. Suspect the people who sent you on the trip; they probably intended you to die out there, knowing that the time required to complete the trip would surpass your lifetime. Suspect peaceful looking planets, the weather will suddenly and horribly change. Suspect the water. It may be filled with malevolent lifeforms. Did I miss anything?

 

Suspect the helpful AI, it is secretly out to enslave you in order to protect you from yourself. Suspect the guidance manual, it was written by sociopaths who  are observing your reaction to the situation as a part their gigantic contrived experiment in human psychology.

 

What? She asked.

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“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26

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On 6/29/2019 at 1:14 AM, JustCallMeAmber said:

*Clears throat* Hi! I’m Amber. Do you guys play Yahtzee? *fakes explosion; screams dramatically* 

Sounds about right to me 

 

Don't listen to me, I don't know how to people.  I am also not a cyborg and completely unsuspicious 

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HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY

Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24High School [Current]

Level 2 Ninja

Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11

 

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definitely here for this! i like the timed diary entries ;)

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 5 days post-crash.

Dear Diary,

We are now 5 days post-crash. The hydrogen converter has been set up, and it seems to be functioning, judging by the bubbles. But there’s no response from MADDY yet, not even a light to indicate that it is charging at all. I’m going to continue daily exchanges of the water. Maybe I just need to be more patient.

Units delivered so far: 374

The first interaction with the locals seemed to go ok. But the auto-translator seems to be a little off, or else the farmer I met seemed especially fond of “dancing cucumbers”. Whatever that means. However, as I did not get shot at or stabbed, I’d say first contact was a success. If I’m going to stay for a while, it might serve to try and work on the translator’s learning functions to see if I can teach it some of the local dialect. He also gave me a book, which at least gives me something to do besides swat at the abhorrent insect species that has a taste for blood.

 

Initial planetary exploration has gone well enough, save once getting caught unawares in an electrical storm. Pity I don’t have anything strong enough to harness that much power. It’d fry every circuit in my ship. Power pod rations are holding, and so far I haven’t lost my mind and gone full berserker mode on them. Bendiness was confirmed with full front split, so take that, Manual! Ha!

 

*log entry ends*

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On 6/28/2019 at 3:39 PM, Harriet said:

Some things I learned from space shows: Always suspect your cyborgs/androids of scheming to kill you. Also, always suspect apparently friendly alien life forms. they want to eat you/put you in a zoo/sacrifice you to a strange god. Suspect your crew mates (they may be alien impersonations). Suspect your ship's central intelligence (it has its own agenda). Suspect the life support (it may be collecting cells as you sleep, to form them into a horrible new life form). Suspect the ship itself (it may be planning to use your remains as replacement parts). Suspect the captain, he may be having a Jekyll and Hyde moment as a result of a malfunctioning teleporter. Suspect the people who sent you on the trip; they probably intended you to die out there, knowing that the time required to complete the trip would surpass your lifetime. Suspect peaceful looking planets, the weather will suddenly and horribly change. Suspect the water. It may be filled with malevolent lifeforms. Did I miss anything? Oh yes. Suspect stars. They may be living organisms that resent being tampered with. And suspect your spacesuit. Its in-built life support system may reanimate you if you die and cause you to run around shooting people with lasers. 

..I mean, that last part doesn't sound TOO bad? :P

So, to summarize, everything and everyone is trying to kill me. Got it.

 

On 6/28/2019 at 11:12 PM, RedStone said:

Oh this is super fun! I'm definitely getting some Grrr vibes :D

 

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Here for your adventures and all the excellent self care. Here's to another round of gettin er done and keeping those ducks in a row when waters get choppy. 

Hi! I thought it would be a fun experiment. I'm no writer, but since this is for a challenge and not for publishing, I can be as silly as I want, right? :D

 

On 6/29/2019 at 9:55 PM, scalyfreak said:

 

Suspect the helpful AI, it is secretly out to enslave you in order to protect you from yourself. Suspect the guidance manual, it was written by sociopaths who  are observing your reaction to the situation as a part their gigantic contrived experiment in human psychology.

 

What? She asked.

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Suspect everything. EVERY. THING.

 

On 6/30/2019 at 12:22 PM, WhiteGhost said:

Sounds about right to me 

 

Don't listen to me, I don't know how to people.  I am also not a cyborg and completely unsuspicious 

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(Technically Android, but that's splitting hairs.)

 

3 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

definitely here for this! i like the timed diary entries ;)

Yay!

Definitely not code for "I have to go back to pretending to work now" ;)

 

9 minutes ago, Mike Wazowski said:

Ummmm I LOVE this theme!! So creative, and can't wait to follow our space cadet's journey. :D

 

...and I guess the goals are cool too!

Lol, thanks! I did try to incorporate them in such a way that they follow the story but no so deeply embedded that you can't tell what's being tracked as a goal and what's just for funsies! (Probably still need to try and unbury it a little, but we're learning as we go.)

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i love the slow unburying in a story!

 

also congrats on the full front split!

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 6 days post-crash.

 

Greetings and well-met, oh trusty Diary,

Refilled MADDY’s water dish. Units delivered so far: 544. I’m a little worried, because this should have worked by now…Ok, maybe more than a little worried. I even ate an extra power pod yesterday, which was not a good way to deal with that. I might be able to trade the locals for some other supplies, but not those precious pods. They did invite me to help them come harvest time. I sincerely hope they are harvesting produce, but one does hear stories…I mean, they SEEM like nice folks.

 

Paranoia aside, after some tinkering, I was able to get the translator to accept some new data files. So, we’ll see what we can do about teaching it some new terms on the daily.

 

I’ve been working on the ship’s exterior damage, which has largely entailed cutting away some of the more damaged panels and repositioning some of the less damaged bits. This has meant moving quite a lot of very heavy things, and a not inconsiderable amount of it over my head. In total, I reckon I lifted the equivalent of a *consults book* Moose over my head today. There are parts of the ship I can’t get to, so I’ll deal with those later. I may have to work out access through the floor of the ship. I can focus on sewing up the seams, as it were, until hopefully MADDY can get to work on some of the more sensitive systems. I reckon it’s safer that way, even if that means I have to wait a few more days at least to call for help.

*loud, metallic bang off-screen*

Dang. Sounds like I've got more welding to do. Bye!

*log entry ends*

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On 7/1/2019 at 3:27 PM, CourtnieMarie said:

i love the slow unburying in a story!

 

also congrats on the full front split!

I shall try not to disappoint ;)

 

And thanks!  :DThat was a shock, to be honest. I haven't been practicing it very much, but I was feeling extra limber post-lifting on Saturday. I usually have to work a little to get my hand around my wrist in nose to knee, like this:

yogapedia-janu-sirsasana-head-of-the-knee-pose-january-2015.jpg

but for whatever reason it was super easy this time. It was cool! :)

 

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On 7/3/2019 at 3:58 AM, JustCallMeAmber said:

It was cool! :)

Very much agree

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HUNTER OF ALL THINGS SHINY

Intro Thread    Bodyweight Exercise Library

The Arruvia Conspiracy Challenges: 1, 2, 3, 4, 567, 89, 10 

Other Challenges: 12345, 6, 7, 89, 10, 11, 1213, 14, 15 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24High School [Current]

Level 2 Ninja

Strength: 13 Intelligence: 14 Wisdom: 6 Dexterity:14 Constitution: 12 Charisma: 11

 

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I love your challenge and that you are making such good progress! I have not worked out what the power pods are yet, though. Come on and wake up MADDY! We believe in you!

 

Your story reminds me of a 5-part Studio C sketch series. Please don't go mad out there:

 

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On 7/2/2019 at 12:46 PM, JustCallMeAmber said:

In total, I reckon I lifted the equivalent of a *consults book* Moose over my head today.


Is this code for a 440lb overhead press? I googled mooses--meese?--and this is the minimum suggested weight for a female moose.

 

8 hours ago, juliebarkley said:

I love your challenge and that you are making such good progress! I have not worked out what the power pods are yet, though.


Are they powered with a certain legume that is frequently mistaken for a nut, and that is roasted, ground into a paste, and salted?

I meanwhile, have not figured out what MADDY is. 

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:blink:

MADDY is either a smartphone or a cybernetic guinea pig... I'm not sure which.

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Level 3, Rebel

Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

My Fitness Pal Profile || NF Epic Quest Character Page || Instagram

Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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10 hours ago, Harriet said:


Is this code for a 440lb overhead press? I googled mooses--meese?--and this is the minimum suggested weight for a female moose.

 

The plural actually is 'moose'

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“I've always believed that failure is non-existent. What is failure? You go to the end of the season, then you lose the Super Bowl. Is that failing? To most people, maybe. But when you're picking apart why you failed, and now you're learning from that, then is that really failing? I don't think so." - Kobe Bryant, 1978-2020. Rest in peace, great warrior.

Personal Challenges, a.k.a.The Saga of Scaly Freak: Tutorial; Ch 1; Ch 2; Ch 3; Ch 4; Ch 5; Ch 6; Intermission; Intermission II; Ch 7; Ch 8; Ch 9; Ch 10; Ch 11; Ch 12 ; Ch 13; Ch 14Ch 15; Ch 16; Ch 17; Intermission IIICh 18; Ch 19; Ch 20; Ch 21; Ch 22; Ch 23; Ch 24; Ch 25; Intermission IV; Ch 26

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1 hour ago, scalyfreak said:

The plural actually is 'moose'


Octopuses, octopi, octopedes, octopodes? Actually, I was carving my initials into an octopod with an intergalactic toothbrush given to me by my brother in law Helmut, when it bit me. Octopus bites can be pretty nasty. 

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 8 days post-crash.

Dear Diary,

Figured out late last night that I had wired the converter backwards, and in doing so I accidentally drained MADDY’s batteries to zero. *slight pause* Yeah, that’s what I said. BUT I’ve fixed it, and I can see a small green light, so she’s finally charging! *raises arms in triumph, and then winces in pain*

Ah, yes, that reminds me. It seems the daily star exposure has caused some irritation to my skin. Fortunately, seeing my brilliant shade of red, one of the farmer’s children showed me a plant that grows near here and explained that they use the sap from it to heal minor burns. Seems simple enough, so I harvested some and I’ve mashed it into a paste. It smells…oddly fruity. I tested it on a small patch and found it did indeed soothe the burning. I’m hopeful that it may also help with the dryness that has affected my fingers. The farmer said they actually eat this stuff too, but I’m not relying on Duo to have gotten that translation right.

Speaking of which, I have been doing a fair job of keeping up with the daily lessons so far, as well as communications with the locals. Ran across an entry in the farmer’s book that refers to this form of communication as ‘small talk’. An odd turn of phrase, but I suppose it fits. Managed some of this yesterday with a merchant without feeling like a complete fool, so I consider that a victory.

The air smells of rain, so I'm going to try and get a little more work done before that sets in.

*log entry ends*

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On 7/4/2019 at 3:03 AM, WhiteGhost said:

Very much agree

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On 7/4/2019 at 3:39 AM, juliebarkley said:

I love your challenge and that you are making such good progress! I have not worked out what the power pods are yet, though. Come on and wake up MADDY! We believe in you!

 

Your story reminds me of a 5-part Studio C sketch series. Please don't go mad out there:

 

Thanks! She's charging, so it's only a matter of time before she wakes :)

 

Power pods = pre-portioned peanut/almond butter containers. (I tend to go nuts, as it were, with the stuff and the theory is that having the pre-measured 'pods' will help me be a bit more sensible about it.)

 

On 7/4/2019 at 11:52 AM, Harriet said:


Is this code for a 440lb overhead press? I googled mooses--meese?--and this is the minimum suggested weight for a female moose.

 


Are they powered with a certain legume that is frequently mistaken for a nut, and that is roasted, ground into a paste, and salted?

I meanwhile, have not figured out what MADDY is. 

While that would indeed be a mighty feat of legendary strength, I'm afraid that was a cumulative total over sets of 8-10 lol. (And it was a male moose, I think, 1440?)

 

You are indeed correct! I am powered by peanut butter after all.

 

As in, what it's short for, or what she actually IS?

 

15 hours ago, Curl Brogo said:

:blink:

MADDY is either a smartphone or a cybernetic guinea pig... I'm not sure which.

Or possibly both..

 

13 hours ago, Harriet said:


Octopuses, octopi, octopedes, octopodes? Actually, I was carving my initials into an octopod with an intergalactic toothbrush given to me by my brother in law Helmut, when it bit me. Octopus bites can be pretty nasty. 

Sounds legit.

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 11 days post-crash.

Dear Diary,

MADDY LIVES! She is up (literally) and floating around. But by draining her power cell to zero, she’s been returned to factory defaults. I’ve been keeping an eye on her to see what she does. She won’t answer any commands, and she seems to spend most of her time scanning things at random. I’ve got my fingers crossed that I can somehow restore her to her old self, and that the data on her personality chip wasn’t erased outright. I'm a little afraid I'll make it worse by tinkering, but I miss my friend and I have to believe she's still in there somewhere.

Since MADDY's fully charged now, I’ve moved the converter to the main console. I honestly don’t know if that will work, but it’s the best idea I’ve got right now. The propulsion system would take a hundred lifetimes to charge that way. But I should be able to get some of smaller other systems back online. It would be nice to get the lights back on instead of having to read by pocket light. Better still, I’ll have access to the network, assuming I can somehow get a signal.

Speaking of signals, I FINALLY managed to get the distress beacon activated. Just like Dad always said, "If at first you don't succeed, whack the hell out of it!" I can’t tell how far the signal is getting, but I'm hoping it's at least strong enough to get picked up by another ship. MADDY might know of a way to boost the signal, but right now she’s not talking.

I've had a couple of days straight where I have largely kept to the ship, as the weather has gotten rather gloomy and/or dangerous. The electrical storms on this planet are no joke. It even set fire to a house, from what I heard.

AH, let's see.. *flips through notebook* Fell a little short on water quota yesterday, should be better today. Skin's healing. Duo training fell off over the weekend, but we'll get back to that. Oh, oops. Looks like I didn't scribble any notes for a couple of days. We'll assume all things were just lovely. Also, this process of repairing the ship exterior seems to be yielding some positive results; feeling like I'm getting stronger and stretchier.

*Spies MADDY hovering just off camera. Sighs*  Yeah, I've got to do something about that. Wish me luck, Diary!

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On 7/6/2019 at 11:44 AM, Mike Wazowski said:

Love the entries about small talk - I struggle mightily with it as well, though I'm getting better (I think - random people I encounter might think otherwise).

Lol, thanks! It is tough to tell sometimes. I probably have prompted a few of these:

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Ship’s log; date unknown. 14 days post-crash.

Dear Diary,

I attempted MADDY repairs and made some progress. The good news is that her personality chip is now fully functional. Unfortunately, her repair database is still offline. She can talk, and does incessantly, [*MADDY flies by; chirps* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!] but she can’t fix anything, and as far as I can tell she has the memory of a goldfish. [MADDY: What’s a goldfish? I want one!] She doesn’t remember anything of our journey so far, nor does she remember how to do anything but the most basic of things and I don’t trust her to work on anything in her current state. [MADDY: WHEE! I can fly!]  Which doesn’t help me much, since I’m also incapable of fixing more than basic things. *MADDY stops mid-loop, turns and glares* Ah, present company excluded, of course. *Tosses metal washer towards the flight deck*  [MADDY: OOOOH! WHAT’S THAT?! *flies off at top speed*] So, I’m currently sharing space with the equivalent of an over-caffeinated toddler who can fly and has difficulty with the concept of personal space and property. This should be a grand old time since I can’t very well leave her outside while it’s raining. Still, I think this is an improvement over her semi-permanent case of the mopes.

 

Anyways. In a fit of desperation, I had another perusal of my not-so-trusty booklet  and believe it or not, the Field Guide from Dummies did actually offer something of use to me. On the last page. Beneath the ad for toilet paper. *squints to see small print* TROUBLESHOOTING: All properly licensed and registered interstellar vehicles come equipped with an onboard diagnostics system. Simply enter the search term: ‘runcommandonboardsystemsautomatedtroubleshootingassistanceanddiagnosticsprogram’ into the main console. Slice o’ pie!

 

Yeesh. That really rolls off the tongue. [MADDY eases into frame, slowly edging closer and closer.] That'll be fun to try and type out, since the print on that screen tends to get a little blurry. *gently pushes MADDY out to arms-length.* MADDY! Personal space, remember? [MADDY: You talk funny. *flies off again*] Right. So, once I’ve got enough power to start it, there’s a diagnostic mode that will help me troubleshoot the systems one by one.

 

Duo training has been going well, with the exception of yesterday. Waited too long and my brain was fried. Water has been going swimmingly, if you'll pardon the pun. 540 units delivered to the main console so far. Skin has been a little more hit and miss; healing, but slowly. Book nearly finished. Haven't exactly gone out of my way to interact, but MADDY's been chattering to such an extent that I seem to crave solitude. *Stretches with a series of pops and cracks.* I should get back to work.

 

*end of entry*

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