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LovelyBouncer

Bouncer Connects with Food

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*put awesome intro story here* (will put link if I do write this month, there is scenes forming in my head but quite don't have it down yet- one day will hold a Narrative). 

 

Can feel the celebration of the first harvest... Literally in the wind. I love this time of year, I realize Fall just brings wind of magic and hope (perhaps why the Fall semester is easier than Spring for me?)

So perhaps the perfect time for me to complete a full Whole30!

 

 

Last month I had done a no fast food challenge...  Had only cracked twice with Subway and Chipotle. 

While having allowed myself to go to down to earth coffee places and co-op/natural food stores outside of grocery stores. 

 

The last two of last challenge I was able to start up again on the forums for my 4th NF Anniversary! Despite my weight having gone up a bit over the years, I am happier and in a better place than I was when I first came on.

 

For a long time now I know my relationship with food has been not healthy (most people can understand). It hit me harder when I started comparing my romantic relationship with my boyfriend last June when I was hitting a personal limit of frustration. Despite the frustrations, and I was ready for him to be done too. When I gave us space, he reached out and agreed on his own faults and asked to have time with me (I was betting on a month, he did it within a week). A relationship he wanted to work on, with no games just to have a happier relationship. 

For me this is the first romantic relationship I've ever had, and next month is our first anniversary... 

 

When I looked at my favorite foods of McDonalds and other sweets. I realized that I was going above and beyond to get my sugar fix, however I usually was left with nothing but an angry sugar crash. 

When I gave up fast food, I tried looking at every meal to see what I enjoyed. 

Many frozen meals due to my fatigue and not wanting to cook. 

I noticed also meals I once loved both cooked and bought, tasted like bad dates. My taste has changed due to exposure of Nigerian food (real variety of spices in every dish, along with new flavors of food that are bitter and savory). That even my comfort food has been lacking. 

 

For some reason I heard a whispering of Whole30... ( @Teros own challenge was a high influence) It came about. I started planning for August 1st. Realized on my NF Anniversary that I was nose diving in amazing sugar pastries, that I all enjoyed however had a week left to go. And starting on the first was a bit more stressful than I preferred (getting it done in one go). 

 

Now since the 24th and having to restart once. Today I had officially completed the first week! 

I am relying on Whole30 hot dogs, and need to work on getting some cooking. I had found I can make yummy salads through my own pickings, while want to look at more one pot recipes. 

I want to cook more due to fiances also, $5 pack of hot dogs are high on sodium and a bit expensive. 

 

The CHALLENGE!

 

Nutrition: Whole30, Follow the rules, no desserts or candy either or compliant baked goods and even baked goods.  until I hit day 30.When I hit day 25 I can start looking at the next plan (but first let's finish one!) This is to help push the restart on my gut... 

If completed rewarding myself with a guilt free gaming day. 

 

Fitness:

A:Stretching 5 mins daily, must after work. Bonus on my days off.  This summer I work at a public zoo as Maintenance (janitorial and setup for events, I usually walk 5-10 miles a day with different type of strength activities...). Was like a boot camp for the first two months, body is keeping up a bit (plus know strategies on how to make it work). Been doing leg stretches because I noticed my lack of flexibility and my feet tightening significantly. 

B: School Plan, I'm currently looking into a janitorial job to help keep activity up for the school year but also want to keep getting stronger. I will have access to outdoor trails, the gym, a pool and random classes my school offers (and may announce sooner than later). I know I will be looking for more outdoor stuff to keep the sun on my skin until gets cold, but I do have more chances. 

 

SpiritualMeditate Daily, try to get 5 mins in a day of walking meditating. I want to keep up all my different techniques, and will work on continuing with my healer weekly (or biweekly). 

 

Life

A: Paperwork, Need to restart my Medical Insurance. A trail of paper work I need to complete but have partially done since last challenge. Plan is to get my part done by the end of this challenge (live in a big county for state insurance so this could take awhile). Goal is to be back in therapy by the end of the year. Also need to apply to Schoo job (high chance I'll get in a Janitor job for a cleaning company due to seeing my mother enjoying the care from the company- and being blood connected to a favorite worker will more than secure it. 

B: YNAB Daily check of YNAB. The fail this summer was a lack of savings, but I haven't had a second job since last summer and had a bought a new car last February. The future goal is to live off my own money (had been borrowing from boyfriend and mother most of the year... now to try to get my stuff together). 

C: School, Get school stuff started. Turn in my end date to the zoo, update my Saturday job at the museum when I start working at every week. Make sure I'm taking a class within my goal, start looking for books and so on. School is coming probably faster than I think.

 

NF: Stay active in the forums, post at least weekly (a win if daily or more). Stay connected with at least 3 people through the entire challenge. 

 

 

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Good luck with the Whole 30. A couple people on NF had tried it over the years.

I don't think I've ever had Nigerian food... A lot of spices sounds a lot like our traditional Malayan food. We also have huge influence from Indian food, especially here in Natal in South Africa. Our town/city (Pietermaritzburg) has lots of different Indian cafés, restaurants, etc. where you can have all kinds of curries, biryani, etc. The traditional "boere kos" which I grew up with though, are relatively bland in comparison, but it has it's place too.

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I'm on day 13 of whole30. 17 days left of summer job.... 

Weird count, might not be helping my sanity. But the countdown matches almost right when school starts. (Day after Whole30 is the first day, Aug. 26).

 

Stretching 50% of the time after work. 

 

Paperwork not much done... Need to get started so I can get dental started also.

 

YNAB, need to start... Noticing my anxiety but trying to breathe through it. Been avoiding bills which isn't a good thing either...so trying to face that. Buying so much from the grocery store gets to me I think, but need to remind myself I'm probably paying less than going out to eat.

 

Getting ready for school... Looks like one book this semester. Thinking of working on bullet journaling again... I have an unlined journal rarely use that I'll start up to give me an idea before I get a new one. School is the time for planners, and normal planners never fit me. Plus track goals.

 

Meditation... Could be better bit remembering deep breaths and mantras throughout every  day. 

Some strong energies from the angels are coming around. I ended up making plans with a spiritual friend to go visit Duluth in September or October. I have been craving a fall trip badly, to a see I often dream of going to. Wanted a friend, literally stumbled upon her on facebook.

 

 

 

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On 8/4/2019 at 6:37 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Good luck with the Whole 30. A couple people on NF had tried it over the years.

Thank you for reading up!

Yeah, its something i tried over and over again when I first started NF. But never could get past a point. Other's would passby all the sugar, while I was on the floor feeling like I was dying. 

Now I'm working a full time job (only took one half day off so far, while doing it). It's really weird when 2 months ago I laughed at the idea, and was having a difficult time with cutting out just fast food. 

 

On 8/4/2019 at 6:37 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I don't think I've ever had Nigerian food... A lot of spices sounds a lot like our traditional Malayan food. We also have huge influence from Indian food, especially here in Natal in South Africa. Our town/city (Pietermaritzburg) has lots of different Indian cafés, restaurants, etc. where you can have all kinds of curries, biryani, etc. The traditional "boere kos" which I grew up with though, are relatively bland in comparison, but it has it's place too.

Yeah, I'm still figuring out where Nigerian food stand. But I'm coming from very little African food life (Latino/hispanic culture was a biggie I grew up around outside of Scandavian/Midwest eating). 

I know right now I'm in a mix of two types of Nigerian cooking, based off just having a male and female cooking. Next to their each from a different tribe in Nigiera. The two main ingredients that have caught my attention are Bitter Leaves (actually seen them grown at the Conservatory I work at) and Egusi (ground melon seeds from a tropical melon - literally makes food slimy when added to soup/stew). 

Else I do believe the spices and such are from how Nigeria was in the trade routes also, that a lot of the  flavors are of both African and Asia with som European 

 

The flavors are different enough that the Texmex (Americanized hispanic food) is that its throughly plain, and finally see why my boyfriend has no interest going to eat at a Mexican place even though they use similar types of foods (beans and meat with a grain). While when we do eat out, its been 85% asian of sorts where he was able to eat up. 

 

On 8/3/2019 at 10:56 PM, darkfoxx said:

Great goals, and I love a good Whole30 for a hard reset!

Thank you! THis has been ringing in my years when temptation falls on my lap. This is more than just about dieting, more of all lifestyle change!

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On 8/10/2019 at 4:52 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Just take everything one day at a time, and do what you are able to.

Thanks needed that...

 

Day 18 on whole30! 

This has been an interesting journey!

Part of me is accepting I will be eating in this new way for the rest of my life, as I evolve.

 

And found new love with food. Such as I have finally cut up and ate a mango on its own. 

My first time having real slices of mango was March 2011 in Costa Rica. For me it tasted like pine sap mixed in fruit, I felt like it tainted everything it touched.

The pineness is still there but now I find its own sweet sap. It's bright and soft, to me is the fruit of life. I get lost in the experience of this fruit. A fruit I have to take a knife to the peel and slice off the core. Something of a relationship where I'm not whining when I can't get a mango, however enjoy every minute I get with it.... 

I had a similar experience at Applebees on Saturday when my boyfriend had taken me out (an initive I've been suprised with since I complained of us skipping the going out/dating part since February.... Something I realized I see as desired especially when a guy can get lost on earning money). I had a simple steak and broccoli dinner, not expecting much. I found myself falling for that dinner, as my boyfriend questioned my meduim rare (or well? The words fell out for the waitress) steak- he didn't trust the pinkness in the steak. But asked for what I thought was the fluffliest broccoli I have ever eaten...

 

Downside my period started around day 14. I haven't had one in months other than spotting due to my arm implant birth control (which has been very nice for working such an active job this summer). The actual show wasn't bad, the side effects of cramps and fatigue got to me. Where I left work early and had a hard time staying awake.

Worked through two more days, without chocolate. If it wasn't for a couple older coworkers I talked with, and my bf and mom keeping cheering me on... Its all for me, but seeing those days add up and announcing it to peeps has helped move me on.

 

The only way I broke the rules is drinking straight cranberry juice with lara bars. However, when I look at the situation, it was an emergency. And I found I don't eat lara bars unless I'm stuck with no other food. I eat only fruit nut bars (with no chocolate or questionable ingredients- I have no brakes dor chocolate). A food that has taught me I'm not a fan of dried dates... 

 

 

Other goals? I have to work on stuff but trying to be kind. 

My brain is being rewired and my inner child has been taking the wheel. Not enough sleep, and enough coffee to trigger heart burn... (Otherwise no heart burn). 

I need to plan on the steps for paper work... As I realize with my cooking I need to plan out the steps, go over more than once. Allow room for mistake (especially since a lot of my paperwork takes a 80 mile commute at the moment). 

 

NF is the place for my goals.

 

Right now its to get ready for bed as its striking midnight.

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Thanks all for the likes...

Very much enjoyed when I get on.

 

I have fallen off the Whole30 wagon... At first not hard but then I kind of just sat off of it noticing how easy it is to get certain foods. (Such as suckers at my museum job.. And how hard it is to get a good meal that does fill me up - I get easily hangry so going without food isn't an option). 

And I realized its the feeling hangry and tired... And I'm about to face a 12 hour shift with very little tools to keep me going. 

 

I step back and realize I kind of leaned on sugar, not only for cravings but for fast calories... Calories to sustain the hunger I've been feeeling TOO much today. I've turned to sugar (Arby's meal and Mcdonald's for a quick fix so I can get sleep... but not really). 

And tomorrow unsure. The traveling will stop in a week. 

 

So tonight, one last fast food meal. And find stuff to bring to work tomorrow on my morning drive up. Tomorrow is a 12 hour shift. 

Such as grabbing latte drinks that I liked at the store (that are made with compliant food... just not a good mixture). And some sauce for the veggies I went (ick at). 

I'm not hitting a train wreck! 

Just a detour that's going to take longer. I need to take a bit more time to figure out my food. But I believe in myself. 

 

I have lost weight, despite my havok of sleep (and that's still better than years past). And that may exactly be what had tempted me off the trail... next to having more meal options to fill me up. 

Along with running around a bit when I girl just wants to crawl up next to her boyfriend for cuddles (which is partly how I got behind on prep, he's supportive but an extra drive and an hour plus every time I saw him...)

 

I do know I need to plan a little bit more to get through this next week. But I can just worry about tomorrow, and then I have Monday to regroup and tackle my last week of Summer job right before school starts. 

 

Have my laptop (that is made for table use only, so may have more updates has we continue on). 

 

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Regrouping is great, don't worry too much until Monday and then design a plan that you can realistically follow (I'm awful at that, I always try to fit in more than I can chew).

 

Take care and keep believing in yourself, you can do it.

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6 hours ago, Jean said:

Regrouping is great, don't worry too much until Monday and then design a plan that you can realistically follow (I'm awful at that, I always try to fit in more than I can chew).

 

Take care and keep believing in yourself, you can do it.

Thank you! Needed that reminder, it's interesting how quickly someone can have it and then start questioning everything. 

 

My small plan today is not to waste the veggies I had for yesterday by buying a few things to round out the meal. Going ahead to my local co-op and getting lovely yummy caffeine drinks as sleep hasn't been fully restored yet... and won't be until tonight. Going to be looking around for the "pop and cap" latte drinks that are compatible with Whole30 food wise 90% - the one drink I can pronounce everything I'm drinking. 

Hoping to get breakfast there also, and more lunch meat for today (the whole30 compatible stuff) and a bottle of kombucha. 

I woke up on time, so will have enough time to gather my things and get the food. 

 

As I said, I didn't get a lot of sleep, however, I will say magic helped me get up this morning. How much I didn't want to go, I'm mentally set to get going. 

One thing about my time in Whole30 is the lack of food I wasted, eating everything up because I didn't want to go to the store again. How I got to see some food as an easy topper. 

 

 

Mini goal today, stay off the facebook and read up NF threads. I'm behind on post people. Let me take advantage of my high caffiene state today ;) 

 

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Didn't end up as highly caffienated... But emotionally a hard time. 

Got into a forced working situation with a coworker that really doesn't care to work with me. They can be civil, but as an empath it just sucks. By the end of the night I was covered in garbage sauce (Japenese festival). Was on the edge a couple times, but could tell physically I was stronger than the last month's event. Emotionally more battered as I ended up crying at my boyfriends place. 

I allowed myself to feel hurt, but tried to remember love. Gave my pain to the devine to help remind me to learn. While sent love to my co-workers. Within 30 mins I was able to enjoy cuddles with my boyfriend and some good sleep.

Just being able to do that has shown my growth over the last few months. I still have a lot to learn, but have grown also.

 

 

Today, slept in. Had McDonalds when I didn't exactly need it. (Their cookies... Omg). 

Bought two books from Whole30. I'm already 30 pages in "it starts with food". I'm trying to figure out a game plan. I need a bit more planning now that I've tried it.

Two main food goals I'm going to start again is no fast food and watch my food waste. The last week some food needs to be thrown out, but not as bad as I done before whole30. 

The thirdish goal is research and figuring out foods to try. And get ready to try again. I'm noticing the inflammation that has returned and my sinuses getting bad. I don't need to figure it out, just have a list of foods to try to keep around for emergencies and stables. 

 

 

With the books I bought a new bullet journal! All summer except on here I've been going without a to do list, and with 3 classes in a higher lvl of difficulty I will need a tool for on the spot. I enjoy the bullet journal the most, so another go!

 

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Woke up this morning finding out I have a starting of a bladder infection...

Due to not having health insurance and hating antibiotics... I am working on drinking up water and cranberry juice (found the real stuff for tge first time).

I didn't want to go to worl, but realized half the pain is from fatigue from Sunday. 

Ironically ended up showing up an hour early due to leaving early for the shops (frozen meals, juice and a cup to put my juice in).

 

Was thankful for showing up early to get a good parking spot as there was a morning down pour upon us.... Plus don't have to worry about my car today as I start up my last week.

 

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If you're sure about what you have and that water and cranberry juice actually helps (or that it's benign) then go for it. Otherwise and even though it costs a bit, I'd still go see a general practitioner to get his medical input. I don't know how it works where you live but that normally shouldn't bind you to buying any medication or following any treatment, it just helps you to know better what is happening and how you can fight it.

 

Take care and enjoy the juice. :)

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On 8/20/2019 at 3:35 AM, LovelyBouncer said:

I allowed myself to feel hurt, but tried to remember love. Gave my pain to the devine to help remind me to learn. While sent love to my co-workers. Within 30 mins I was able to enjoy cuddles with my boyfriend and some good sleep.

That is great progress! So proud of you for acknowledging your feelings, but not wallowing in them. Being able to get perspective, get through it, and get up and going again.

 

W.r.t. the bladder infection, I agree with @Jean. How is it going now? Hope you are getting better.

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Whelp I feel like an idiot for not finding a free clinic.

The symptoms aren't going away and hoping to figure out to get in somewhere for a cheapish prescription or an answer. 

My mom lectured me in not finding a free clinic up here and I'll be starting school with this as I fill out insurance forms... (Been getting by uninsured and have littlr to no money saved). There are two clinics I can try to get into early next week that will let me in. While an urgent care thats questionable.

 

Packing up my stuff tonight, hoping to get things in my car. Called my manager after work to let him know I have an infection and needing to go home instead of work, and would like to finish paperwork and go home. I let the head person know before I left I won't be working...

 

This is a consequence of a number of things, my mom lectured me for not be on top of my health so I can show up for work. And I hear my old therapist in my head that this sucks, but part of learning and development of becoming an adult.

 

Interesting how life makes certain goals come first

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Don't torture yourself about the free clinic. I don't know how it goes by where you live but such things don't exist around here... could be like searching for a Leprechaun. That's very harsh of your mother to lecture you in this situation.

 

Getting insurance before getting treatment is a good call, assuming you can get it quickly. Otherwise, and I know it's hard (because I've been having "a cold" for two weeks and that's not going away and I don't want to go see a doctor for financial reasons too), maybe you could try to see if there's a way to come up with the money with your savings (as little as they can be), family help (you can repay that later, Ideally when you're done with school and have more money coming in - if I understand correctly that you're studying and not teaching) or an advance from your boss (you'd have to figure out how to live next month with the lesser salary, though).

 

9 hours ago, LovelyBouncer said:

Interesting how life makes certain goals come first

Sure is. I hope you'll find a solution to make it work. Take care.

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A free clinic is a great idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of suggesting that - my sister used to go to the Indian Health Board in Minneapolis. You don’t need to be native to go there. Good luck.

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On 8/24/2019 at 12:47 AM, Jean said:

Don't torture yourself about the free clinic. I don't know how it goes by where you live but such things don't exist around here... could be like searching for a Leprechaun.

Luckily I live in the state that somewhat has prioritized medical services for all. (The home of the famous Dr. Mayo Brothers probably helps). Kicking myself over the health insurance due to all I need to do is fill out paperwork, as I'm not earning enough out of poverty level so I can receive pretty good state health insurance (plus they don't count my student loans here which helps, compared to other states... and being a bit transparent with all they cover). 

 

On 8/24/2019 at 12:47 AM, Jean said:

That's very harsh of your mother to lecture you in this situation.

And thanks I needed this, for a needed reality check. 

My mother is in the recovery that her mental health and reactiveness isn't the best, I have a tendency to take it personally. She called the next day when I was packing up my stuff and apologized. Explaining that me not having health insurance triggered her own stressors and had a bad day from her health. For her giving me a hard lecture is her wishing she had another way to help. 

When I got home last night, she said she wanted me to get into a clinic tomorrow so I get antibiotics. She would try to help if needed but didn't want me to wait till Monday. Reminding me of a bad UTI I had years ago that came out of nowhere. 

 

 

 

I did get to a discount clinic, that had advertised to be a daily 12 hour Urgent Care that had low upfront prices for people without insurance. 

After waking up before 7 this morning, I had felt better in some ways (half my symptoms cleared up yesterday). However, I was getting pains in new places that made me worry about the infection traveling into my kidneys, which was freaking me out and had me looking for a place. 

I went in and can give a positive review of caring staff and was prescribed antibiotics. They saw enough in my test results to prescribe but was a bit less than they expected despite my symptoms (Cranberry juice could have helped with having it get worse). 

Was able to afford everything out of pocket, and didn't leave me broke. 

 

 

----

So this is the end of my Summer Break, tomorrow I start a semester of 9 am classes. Trying to get stuff moderately ready so I can show up on time, maybe have food with me.  I'm freaking out a little, seeing my weaknesses this last summer. However, I have been in school now for a while and know 2/3 of my professors, and have heard horror stories on the third (which my advisor rolls his eyes saying our plan will work out). Along with ready to learn on figuring out where to put the skills that I have learned, that had made the zoo manageable. 

What's getting to me is I won't be going back to the zoo, my brain is somewhat freaking out now and then when I calm it down saying "we don't have to go back". Which leaves me with relief... 

 

Oh and for who don't know. My plan is to graduate with my undergrad in two yearish (I've been in school longer than 4 years (when added up), and am taking my time to get a hang of school (which has given me room to work on life skills with  school, and put me at a better place). My major: Recreation, Parks and Leisure Services (the dessert of Social studies). Minor: American Indigenous Studies (the social "study of it"). 

 

-----

 

Other news! Yesterday my boyfriend offered me sheep meat and chicken before I left the city. .. My favorite type of flowers, lol. 

I ended up taking the ribs (wished I had grabbed chops, but next time). And a different type of chicken than I'm used to. He had split the price of a meat share, which had me intrigued since I never had seen meat cut up (or felt the warmth of fat when picking my pieces from his bowls of meat). 

So that's on a list of priority to cook up or freeze. He had boiled up sheep organs, which normally I would be all over. He made a place for us to share. I had some sheep stomach and (very tiny bite of) lung for the first time and had to explain to my boyfriend that I had been eating more sugar since I haven't been feeling well and I was stressed out to be able to relax and become aware of the new food (was so uncomfortable to cuddle up with him on his hard couch. But now I can say I tried it, and will try again in the future. 

 

 

Whelp this went longer than I planned. 

So I must be feeling better lol. 

On fitness going to be easy on myself, as I have paper to focus on. 

Despite eating junk all week, I found out I am 289 (lower than last time I weighed myself). My mom also divided space in the fridge, the rule to not touch each other's food unless asking. I get more than half the fridge and her promptings on getting back on Whole30 (so my full support team is on getting me back on the eating right). And as I got sick days later... yeah I need to get back on. 

 

 

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On 8/27/2019 at 5:21 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Good luck with the new semester, and just take it one day at a time.

Thanks have been taking this to heart. Especially with my longer classes when I wasn't feeling well. 

 

---

 

I'm feeling better, I went on a hike on Friday! First time in a long while, where leaves and dirt crunched under my feet. Along with hearing noises like cicadas and birds with a stream nearby(don't hear that so much in the cities. Stretched afterward also! So many parts were tighter than ever. 

 

Going back on Whole30 again, my body and spirit are begging for me to do so. I haven't been able to find a happy medium or at least been buying something sweet or fast food on a daily basis. 

I am able to notice the havoc on my body, but having a hard time getting away from sugar. I see why I go to these foods, but noticing the harm. Being dependent on the next kick of sugar, but dealing with the joint and muscle pain all over my body. Along with my gut being extra angry. 

 

Helpful tip, September 2nd is a virtual "Whole30 September Restart", so hope to find more stuff to flood my facebook. 

 

Do I have a better plan, maybe... I'm looking for foods to love, let's see how that turns out to be.  

 

----

 

School! Got through the first week! I ended up adding another class on Wednesday, something was bugging me to go full time. While also wondering what I want to do with my career- I've been told to look for careers that make me excited before I change everything. So adding another class to finish up the plan in the hope of staying on course. 

First semester in a LONG time that I've been full time! 

 

 

---

 

Before the semester started. I told my boyfriend I will be not coming up very much (if any). He responded that he will work on coming down when he can.

Will be different than last Spring and the summer where I was seeing him at least weekly (in the summer quite a few times a week).

 

Problem is, I have a need for touch like no one's business. 

 

 

tenor.gif

 

But I happen to be in the culture of... 

 

tenor.gif

(I seem to find people who are big on this... I was surprised when I first meant my boyfriend on how he liked touching me). 

Yes, I live with my mother, but she is in the recovery of life of pleasing and fighting others. She has been there daily for a hug, but ugh. 

 

So I've been taking hot showers, may take up swimming again to help with my tactile need. Need to buy a weighted blanket, and asking the universe for answers. Maybe I need to lay on the grass more... 

 

 

----

Spiritual...

Despite being ill and in fast food, I had been grounded aware. Knowing how to tackle a day (that involved naps every day). So a sign I've been doing meditations in my going days to get away from 

Weekly I will be working on going to a Oneness Blessing (Wed.) and Meditation/celebrations around peace/universe love. Along with my healer. Hitting up Monthly services at the interfaith center also. 

So an increase in getting connected with a community, that I've been on and off with. 

 

---

Paperwork!

I did get my work application in, haven't finished insurance papers. So that's a high priority for tomorrow since its a day off (Labor Day). 

 

 

 

But first, for fitness, I'm taking a hike in the morning. On a freshly cleanished trail. A small drive (literally behind my museum job). I want a morning trail so badly (need to make days for this), one of the first I went into back in 2016 when I was training for a warrior dash. Has been a nice escape along the river since. 

It has been on and off flooded most of the Summer due to heavy rains (right in the flood plain of the Minnesota River), so excited to check it out!

Trails I can get through that hour of moving and found myself pumping my heart. Plus dirt... aww sweet dirt. 

 

 

Now with it being late and have tomorrow plans. TIme to go to bed! 

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12 hours ago, LovelyBouncer said:

Problem is, I have a need for touch like no one's business.

LOL, sounds like my youngest son (10yrs). He constantly hugs people around him (not strangers). He also almost always greets strangers in shops or where ever we may be, or wave at people in cars around us. We've gotten lots of funny looks over the years.

 

Nice job with the hikes! Way to go.

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Morning hike.... It was a foggy hike.

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This was once a gravel/broken asphalt road that has over grown due to the flooding. 

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Down the road, a pipe was dugout. I forget what its called but its a pipe put under the road to move the flooded water under the road a couple of years ago. It never really worked, I ended up walking around it down off the trail. 

 

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All mud if not water.... With both human and deer foot steps (and one bike track went through).

 

There was a part covered in sitting water... Don't ask me why I kept going through. I wanted an adventure I guess.

Ended up walking through a swamp-like area with the number of algae growing. 

 

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I had hit dirt area and sand areas for a bit before. This was like a small creek that was dug through a part of the road. I kept finding the footsteps of people that I found a path around.

 

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A bad pic of the river valley. I think the walk was half hour one way. I checked out a trail that met at this end but didn't have bottled water so turned around hoping for another adventure another day. 

 

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Remembering you only have a pair of jeans halfway through the walk...

Hoping to salvage them but looking to buy more.  And maybe some actual hiking pants...

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Totally salvageable. I've got two pair of jeans and am doing everything with them, even though people look at me like I have no idea of hiking when they show up with their fancy sweatproof light clothes.

 

Jeans are where the adventures are. The river valley looks nice, I hope you've had fun.

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On 9/2/2019 at 2:28 PM, Jean said:

Totally salvageable. I've got two pair of jeans and am doing everything with them, even though people look at me like I have no idea of hiking when they show up with their fancy sweatproof light clothes.

 

Jeans are where the adventures are. The river valley looks nice, I hope you've had fun.

You were correct! They survived no issue, I had used dish soap and brushed it in and let it sit (unintentionally). Came out with no sign of the mud., yay!

And agree, I love my jeans. Though I'm somebody who tends to stain all my clothes quickly, jeans have always been easy that way. 

 

Relooking at my pics on my computer, they turned out great for a foggy morning. 

 

Told my brother about it the other day, and he asked me if I could invite him along if I ever hike between 3-8 pm on the weekend. Something to remember and hope for. 

 

----

 

Dropping Whole30... Sitting myself to do homework and paperwork is a whole battle. That I remember now takes most of my critical thinking of juggling food, no less taking care of my myself. Praying to keep working on my relationship with food, and some sharp memories gurgled up. 

Another sign I may need to step away from Whole30 for now, there is a lot of stuff that is coming up from my past. Being easy what I put in my mouth will be helpful.

Thinking of putting a candle out in our kitchen, to remind me to bring love in my food. Some food may not agree with me, but not all food is bad. 

 

---


Also, I applied to a cookie shop (a shop where you can buy warmed cookies on spot). I was recommended by my healer that he knew they were looking for work, and with it being close to my place and easy I should apply. Instead of doing my insurance forms on Monday I did that...

Questionable if I will get the job because it sounds like they are shifts covered (and I have no real desire to work between Midnight-3 am or any delivery- they do delivery that late for just cookies and ice cream). But will wait and see. So far have done an application weekly since my summer job. Just looking for up to 15 hours a week

 

Ended up getting some cookies (heaven....) and Subway. 

Been eating a lot of convenient food lately... But once a day am gathering up my own meal (steam veggies in a microwave and fry up a cut-up chicken breast). 

 

Sitting down and thinking, the ultimate goal is ALL food is GOOD. But, finding what foods makes me feel good and STRONGER is better. 

Being an empath leaning on my weight and sugar to protect me, I know I am stronger to deal just need a mentally easier path. 

---

 

Homework is also getting done! Sometimes I get lost in Netflix, but then remind myself to get the homework done. Anytime I get "I don't know what I'm doing" the answer ends up being "GOOD! You're getting your money's worth!" 

The goal this weekend is to get it mostly done before Saturday. I can then drive to my boyfriend's for a night with no worries. 

 

Otherwise taking one day at a time. Trying to not be hard on myself on naps (enjoying it before I start another job).

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