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Dalish

This is not a challenge thread...

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Unfortunately my finances are stretched to their limitations, there aren't funds to hire any help with it, so it's gonna be a diy job.
 
It shouldn't be TOO difficult overall, it's more the annoyance of yet another thing not going smoothly than anything else
Sorry I forgot you just moved in...
Apologies if I sounded rich or if I hurt you
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7 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Sorry I forgot you just moved in...
Apologies if I sounded rich or if I hurt you

 

no not at all, I'm quite used to having nothing in terms of finances :P it's not a sore point of pride for me.  I make it work pretty damn nicely.  Just is what it is!

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It's not the hose.  It's the pump.  So I just bailed water out of a 6.5kg top loading washing machine, spilled bleach water all over about 75% of my actual clothes, to learn that the machine is fucked and I can't afford to fix or replace it.  

 

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It's not the hose.  It's the pump.  So I just bailed water out of a 6.5kg top loading washing machine, spilled bleach water all over about 75% of my actual clothes, to learn that the machine is fucked and I can't afford to fix or replace it.  
 
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Oh, no! That sucks!! do you have to wash all by hand now?

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4 hours ago, Diadhuit said:
8 hours ago, Dalish said:
It's not the hose.  It's the pump.  So I just bailed water out of a 6.5kg top loading washing machine, spilled bleach water all over about 75% of my actual clothes, to learn that the machine is fucked and I can't afford to fix or replace it.  
 
giphy.gif

Oh, no! That sucks!! do you have to wash all by hand now?

 

No, luckily, I have some local friends and there's a laundromat fairly nearby.  It's just...hassle.

 

4 hours ago, fleaball said:

Jesus. I’m sorry this is such a hassle. 

 

Meeeeeee toooooo.  And to make things EVEN better, I messaged Dad and told him, and he was like "Well it was still generous of them to give it to you."  Um, what?  It was generous of them to fob their broken crap off onto me?  What?

 

And then the next thing he says is, maybe it's a cheap and easy fix?  With what money?

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I've hit this point where I'm just so emotionally/psychologically worn out.  Like physically I feel about as healthy as can be expected for being out of hospital about a week.  But the snowball effect of things just continually tripping me up is pressing on my psyche.  I need to unwind and let go for a bit but I've not quite figured out the how on doing that.

 

Oh did I mention the light bulb in the living room blew?  And I can't reach the fixture to change the bulb?  Yay!

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I've hit this point where I'm just so emotionally/psychologically worn out.  Like physically I feel about as healthy as can be expected for being out of hospital about a week.  But the snowball effect of things just continually tripping me up is pressing on my psyche.  I need to unwind and let go for a bit but I've not quite figured out the how on doing that.
 
Oh did I mention the light bulb in the living room blew?  And I can't reach the fixture to change the bulb?  Yay!


It's ok, unfortunately it's normal, the good thing is it will pass.

Ask for help for the lightbulb, it's ok not to be a superhero
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4 hours ago, Diadhuit said:


 

 


It's ok, unfortunately it's normal, the good thing is it will pass.

Ask for help for the lightbulb, it's ok not to be a superhero emoji5.png

 

 

In the back of my head I know, but in the front I just wanna bitch about it :P  I hear venting is good for the soul.  Mostly I just hurt still from hospital, and it's getting to me on top of everything.

 

 

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You have all my sympathies for whatever bitching you want to do. I spent a week in the hospital a few years back and I remember how frustrating it was after I got home and everything seemed so much harder. 

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I pushed out some productivity today, and I feel a bit better.  Been getting agitated more and more over even little things, and it's been offsetting my whole outlook.  Woke up today hurting, I actually had to take an oxy in the morning, which I haven't done for a few days.  But once it kicked in all I felt was restless.  So I bagged up a couple of bags of trash, organised all my dishes,  finally moved my appliances into the cupboard where I wanted them so I could set up my little tea corner (I like tea, it deserves a corner), did the whole boiling water in the kettle three times to make it usable cause it's brand new, took the garbage bin out to the roadside for collection in the morning.

 

So now I feel better, I'm pleased with the day's accomplishments, even if all that took nearly three times as long as it should have done.  It's a start, there's somewhere clean in my house.  I can make a cup of herbal tea later and curl up on the couch with it.  Dishes themselves can wait til another day, but I did something 

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Also, there are a bunch of kookaburras living in the park across the street, this for me is way high up on the list of reasons why I love my apartment.  Kookaburra laughs make me happy, no matter how long I live in this country it never gets old.

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25 minutes til I head out to get to the hospital for this appointment.  I'm hoping for some good news but I'm not entirely convinced I'll get it.  It's been over a week and I'm still feeling quite spectacularly crappy.

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So hospital appointment came with xray and ultrasound, which shows that there's still fluid in the space around the lung.  So my antibiotics have been extended by another 10 days.  On top of this I got the news that it's gonna take a minimum of 6 weeks for me to start feeling normal and not crappy again.  Yay.

 

Unfortunately, life doesn't really wait for health to recover, and I absolutely had to do a grocery shop today or I was gonna end up living on beans and water for two weeks.  So hauling heavy bags from the car sucks.  But I've now got a stocked kitchen that should see me through til payday.  And relatively cheap too.  The joys of not cooking for anyone but me, I don't have someone making snarky comments over my vegetarian options.  Not buying meat cuts my food costs down soooo much.

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I've 110% run out of spoons for the week.  The emotional crash has occurred and I've descended into a place of miserable apathy that's pretty impossible to actually try to explain to anyone who's not experienced it.  I just wanna curl up in my bed fort and stop thinking.  I'm so fed up of feeling crappy.  I'm sick of trying to make the best of a crappy thing and not actually getting any real measurable successes with it.  I've just got no more spoons left.  And the time spent doing fuck all to recover some physical spoons adds literally nothing to my emotional spoons.  So no matter what I can't win.  My head hurts, I feel nauseous, and I've just about had enough of it.

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I've 110% run out of spoons for the week.  The emotional crash has occurred and I've descended into a place of miserable apathy that's pretty impossible to actually try to explain to anyone who's not experienced it.  I just wanna curl up in my bed fort and stop thinking.  I'm so fed up of feeling crappy.  I'm sick of trying to make the best of a crappy thing and not actually getting any real measurable successes with it.  I've just got no more spoons left.  And the time spent doing fuck all to recover some physical spoons adds literally nothing to my emotional spoons.  So no matter what I can't win.  My head hurts, I feel nauseous, and I've just about had enough of it.


I can only imagine how you feel and it's ok to stop fighting and stay in bed. Just give yourself some time (e.g. 3 days, or how long you think it's appropriate) and then re-evaluate.
You are sick and follow your body and your feelings is what you need to do to recover.

I felt similarly (but probably way less) when I broke an ankle and was homebound in an empty apartment. And no family around. I soon discovered who my friends are and the real ones came even just to put the trash out, do cleaning and keep me company. I will always be grateful to every single one of them. I am sure you have some of them around, don't be shy in asking!
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51 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:


 

 


I can only imagine how you feel and it's ok to stop fighting and stay in bed. Just give yourself some time (e.g. 3 days, or how long you think it's appropriate) and then re-evaluate.
You are sick and follow your body and your feelings is what you need to do to recover.

I felt similarly (but probably way less) when I broke an ankle and was homebound in an empty apartment. And no family around. I soon discovered who my friends are and the real ones came even just to put the trash out, do cleaning and keep me company. I will always be grateful to every single one of them. I am sure you have some of them around, don't be shy in asking!

 

 

I can't count my local friends on less than half a hand, and they have young families of their own to prioritise.  The amount of help/company they can reasonably provide is sooooo limited, so it's not the easiest of scenarios.  But they help when they can

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Self care when sick lesson learned.  I've been so hella dehydrated.  I've downed 1l of water in the last hour and I feel quite a bit better.  Dumb me overlooked the whole I've been running a litle bit of fever for like, three months, which dehydrates you, as well a some ide effects of the meds I'm on, which also cause dehydration.  So I've been chilling out with 2-3l of fluids, when I'm needing closer to 5-6l.  No wonder I feel so rough all the time, and my hands and feet are like little ice cubes.

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I'm sorry that the road to recovery is going to be so long. I'm happy that you've figured out the dehydration aspect and are feeling a bit better, but don't feel bad about needing time in your bed fort. 

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On 8/17/2019 at 6:57 PM, Whisper said:

I'm sorry that the road to recovery is going to be so long. I'm happy that you've figured out the dehydration aspect and are feeling a bit better, but don't feel bad about needing time in your bed fort. 

 

Thanks.  It's not so much feeling bad about it as it is being sick of it.  Knowing how to get out of that rut and not physically being able to is a frustrating situation

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It's been a couple of days.  Good news is the hole in y back has healed over, so I don't need to go to the docs every few days to get the bandage changed anymore.  Bad news is the mould issue in what was my bedroom is getting worse.  Pulled out all my reserve spoons and hauled my things from that room to the smaller room, which is mould free, and then slept the entire afternoon out of sheer exhaustion.  

 

House inspection is on Thursday, and I'm almost ready for it.  Friend was supposed to come over today and help, but unsurprisingly no-show.  So I got all the trash cleared out and a ot of the laundry moved to the bathroom, as well as a sink full of dishes.  Tomorrow I just have to finish up the laundry, the dishes and make sure the boxes and stuff I haven't unpacked are put neatly enough that it doesn't look like the black hole of Calcutta in here.  Then dinner at Dad's tomorrow night, hoping to get up there for about midday and take a couple of loads of laundry with me, cause clean clothes are a nice thing to have.

 

New discoveries, I'm now officially down 12kg in the last month and a half, which is significant progress.  Also all the time spent in hospital has almost completely tanked my sweetness tolerance, which is fantastic.  I had to dump out an entire cup of tea because two teaspoons of stevia made is disgustingly sweet.  Half a teaspoon completely suffices now.  Can't handle soda anymore, I've always drunk sugar free stuff but now even that just tastes like syrup water.  My stomach has very much shrunk as well, portion sizes have decreased dramatically.  A lot of positive things coming from being sick, little silver linings to the crap parts.

 

I've got a six week medical cert, so plenty of time to rest and recover, and on the last day I've got another hospital follow up appointment to see how things are going.  I'm hoping at that point I'm going to be able to start incorporating a bit more activity in my day to day.  Right now it's mostly just pottering around doing as much by way of cleaning as I possibly can.  I'm getting about 3000 steps in a day or so most days, which isn't terrible.  My lung capacity isn't great.  But I'm trying to maintain a steady pace, not overwork myself to a point I'm making things worse, and build a ladder of positive things to offset the crap.

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So, I have a personal request.

 

If you're going through threads, and you're just liking posts with no intention of interacting with the thread beyond that like, could you not do that here?  Your intentions are decent, but to someone with an anxiety disorder, even medicated, it just comes across as "I want you to know I was here and you aren't worth actually interacting with, loser."

 

It's becoming a bit of a mood trigger.

 

Thanks.

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So, I have a personal request.
 
If you're going through threads, and you're just liking posts with no intention of interacting with the thread beyond that like, could you not do that here?  Your intentions are decent, but to someone with an anxiety disorder, even medicated, it just comes across as "I want you to know I was here and you aren't worth actually interacting with, loser."
 
It's becoming a bit of a mood trigger.
 
Thanks.
Sorry to hear that. I know that feeling.
Yet I'm sometimes guilty of it because I'm at loss of words so apologies!80fc65f857a6f42439b7b445df43ea50.gif

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