Seeing Myself (Yourself) Thin / Image

[Demosthenes]

I have been large for my entire adult life (and most of my childhood if I'm being honest). As a "plus-sized" person, you don't really get to pick a style or decide how your body should look. You just wear whatever fits from the small selection available to you. So....I'm struggling mightily with creating a vision for my future healthy self. What do I want my body to look like? How do I want to present myself to the world? What is even achievable given my starting point?

 

Has anyone else gone through (or is going through) this challenge? I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom or recommendations. Not having a clear vision for the future is creating some challenges for me in the motivation department.

 

Thank you!

[RisenPhoenix]

Honestly, losing weight results in body proportions changing in ways no one can predict.  Find a thing you love doing, and do that.  Your body will change based on what that activity is, and it's really only then that you'll be able to see what potential there is.  There was a long, long time where I looked like I was wearing parachutes.  Don't care about the outward presentation, care about feeling awesome about the things you can do.

 

Honestly, the *physical* side of things is much, much easier than the mental side of things.  Brains get used to being bigger, and it's really hard to readjust to realizing the weightloss has really happened.  Took years for me to accept that I wasn't considered the "Big" guy, and I was actually getting sterotyped as the "Bro athlete" guy.

[Sylvaa]

On 8/10/2019 at 9:45 PM, Demosthenes said:

Has anyone else gone through (or is going through) this challenge? I'd really appreciate some words of wisdom or recommendations. Not having a clear vision for the future is creating some challenges for me in the motivation department.

 

Hi! Yes! Kind of! (How's that for an introduction?!).

 

So first of all, let me stop you for a moment. There is no reason why you can't pick your style right now. In fact, you totally should! There are a lot of super fun, cute clothes for all shapes and sizes now (and believe me, I totally know what you mean about before. 20 years ago, when I first started losing weight, my clothing options were ridiculous!). It just might take a bit more looking to find what works for you! And, if you aren't all about spending the money for the style you'll want then, nothing can stop you from wearing hair, make-up (if that's your thing), accessories, and other parts of your life in the style you are building towards. 

 

I'm going to shout this from the rooftops - THERE IS NO REASON TO NOT START LIVING THE LIFE YOU WANT TODAY. Like, yeah, being able to shop the "normal sizes" gives you a lot more options right in front of you. But (and I'm speaking from a lot of experience here), it doesn't automatically get easier just because you lost weight. RP is 100% right, the mental piece is so much harder and focusing on that now will give you so many benefits long-term, it is worth it to start now. 

 

That was really kind of preachy. Here's the deal, I've lost like 75 pounds since I started working on my health. I went from a size 24W to a size 10 - 12.  I kind of always had this idea in my head of what kind of style I wanted when I got thinner, but honestly, now that I'm at the weight that I thought I wanted to be when I started wearing those clothes, I still don't. I don't think they look right on me, or I don't actually like it, or what happens if I lose more weight and can get down another size, or a million other thoughts creep into my head. Because it took me way too long to realize that the mental part of becoming healthier is really the harder part. 

 

So my advice? Think about what you like - is there a style you are drawn to or a decade you love? Check out Pinterest for ideas. Play around with what you like now and see what works and does not work. Find what makes you feel best and roll with it. 

[Demosthenes]

Thank you both for your comments.  Sharing from your personal experience is very encouraging.  I love the idea of picking something you love and do that.  The body, style, and energy will follow from that (ex: aiming to be a rock climber vs. a yogi).

 

I have gained and lost so much weight over the course of my lifetime, I really need to get the mindset right this time.

 

Thank you!

[Diadhuit]

I bumped into this thread by chance. And I am just shopping for a conference I'm going to speak to, so it happens at the right time.
It never occoured to me that my problem with clothes is somewhat related to my size and health.
I will ponder some more! Thank you!