Nic Tries To Roll With the Punches

[NicTheRugger]

Hello all, it's a bit late in the challenge, but better late than never, right? Hitting a lot of setbacks with this challenge:

• Got rejected from the Marines again.
• Didn't get to exercise much on vacation, despite best attempts to
• I've been asked to find a new place to live by the family I'm renting from-- apparently it has nothing to do with me. I suspect they want to sell the house. They've been nice enough to give me until the end of September.

 

I'm in a rough place mentally, right now. I feel really disappointed and like everything is going wrong at once. I know, rationally, that it's just my silly brain doing dumb depression things, but it's still really overwhelming and I'm really sad and frustrated. I think it's time for me to move on from the Marines. I tried my best, I really did, but it just isn't working out, and I'm... 27 (or almost). I'm getting to a point where it isn't practical for me to hold off on settling down because I'm trying for something that isn't guaranteed. But now I feel like I'm at a bit of a loss at what to do for fitness goals, because for so long (over a year), I've been using the Marines PFT as the standard for my training plan, and while it was exhausting at times, both physically and mentally, if I officially give up, I don't have much of a plan. To be honest, I'm not even sure what I should do for this challenge.

 

Area 1: Mental Health

Considering that I can tell I'm in a depressive episode right now, I should probably do something to get my brain back where it should be, right? The challenges here:

1. Pick up that journal again! I stopped journaling, and I think that that was a mistake. I will try to journal twice a week.
2. Do something relaxing: Either knit or color once a week.

 

Area 2: Fitness

1. Keep up the cardio. I've actually come to somewhat enjoy running. And the cardio is good for me. It lets me get away with doing things like eating popcorn for dinner which I totally didn't do tonight as a depression meal, nope.
2. Start weightlifting again? If I truly am giving up on the Marines, then I can focus less on bodyweight (while still doing it because it's awesome and fun), and start adding back in weightlifting to my workout routines again!
3. The stretching. I'm not sure if I liked stretching at night all that much. Let's try morning stretching instead and see how that goes! Daily stretching in the morning.

 

Area 3: Everything else

1. Find a new place to live by the end of September! The problem is that everything in my area is very expensive and for the most part, out of my budget. Government salary doesn't really lend itself to finding a place of my own. I'm going to try to look for an apartment complex with a gym that way I can cut down on costs of having to pay for a gym. 
2. Decide if I'm actually done with my Marines adventure and let my recruiter know if I am.
3. Start packing up again... of course, once I'm done unpacking it's time for me to start packing again. Because that's just how my life works. 

 

That's all I have energy for tonight, folks. I'll try to check in tomorrow.

[Elastigirl]

Glad you made it to the challenge!

[DJtrippyT]

Oh, how disappointing! I know you worked really hard towards that goal and I can only imagine what you’re feeling. Whatever you chose, we’re all in your corner for your next chapter. 

[Salinger]

Hey Nic, so sorry about the Marines and the housing situation

 

Sending you loads of love. Take it easy xx

[darkfoxx]

That’s a rough go, but good to see you back! Take the time you need to heal, and you’ll find the next goal, whatever that may be.

[Whisper]

Hi Nic; I've been hoping to see you!

 

18 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

I've been asked to find a new place to live by the family I'm renting from-- apparently it has nothing to do with me. I suspect they want to sell the house. They've been nice enough to give me until the end of September.

 

I went through almost that exact situation last challenge. You've got time to look, and this time you know you'll be staying in the area longer term which might make it a bit easier than last time you were looking and unsure if you would be shipping out.

 

18 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

I think it's time for me to move on from the Marines.

It is really hard to give up a dream and you'll need to grieve for it. On the plus side, you have achieved one of your other dreams with working for the DA's office. Your work still serves the public good.

[JuiceeTarget]

Glad to see you here! Sounds like you are having a tough time, but we are here to act as your cheering squad. We can also give you a kick in the pants should you need it. I'm strongly in the "fake it til you make it" camp and it sounds like you could use a dose of looking for the silver lining.

• Choosing to not try for the Marines means you have the freedom to settle down. As well it means the freedom to make a new definition of who you are.
• Needing to move out means you have the freedom to have a bit of an adventure until you find where you are destined to land more permanently.

Sorry if that is a bit too Polly-Anna but I think changing your frame of reference to make these into positive changes to your life can be very helpful. Even if you aren't feeling it completely, keep telling yourself these things and it can really help.

But, if you aren't ready for that, feel free to throw a grumpy party for a little bit... but not for too long

[NicTheRugger]

Boy howdy, an update! And thank you so much for all of the encouragement and well wishes, friends. Truly, having this community is such a blessing and one I am genuinely grateful for. Your encouragement and support makes it easier for me to work to accomplish my challenges!

 

Forgot to stretch yesterday morning, but had a really good morning stretch today! I did the blogilates morning routine and wow, did I feel it. I think I'm going to stick to this stretching routine because I felt really energized after it. Haven't done much on terms of exercise, but that's because I've been feeling rather low energy lately. I'm hoping to kick it into gear tomorrow though with a morning stretch and then a trip to the gym to use the elliptical for a few miles. Work has been crazy lately (someone got let go on Friday so we're extra busy now), so between work and apartment hunting (I've visited 3 places in the past 2 days), it's been a hectic time. I'm checking out another place tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this one, so we'll see what happens! I'm actually looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow-- I haven't been in a few weeks!

 

I still need to email my OSO and let her know that I won't be going forward in the application process... I'm dreading writing that email. I'm probably going to draft it up on Friday and send it over the weekend, mostly because I don't have much time this week. Seriously, so much going on. I'm typing this as I get ready for bed. Between work, the online class I'm doing, and apartment hunting, free time feels like a distant dream lol.

 

This is all I have time for tonight-- I'll try to check in on y'all tomorrow!

[Salinger]

Glad you are ok, we love having you here Nic <3 xx

[JuiceeTarget]

16 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

free time feels like a distant dream lol.

Yeah, it turns out "free time" isn't free. It has a cost  

[Jarric]

House-hunting sucks, but you'll find the right place for you, just remember there's light at the end of that tunnel.

 

I don't know about you, but I really find exercise helps me mentally. So if that is you, don't wait to feel energised to exercise; exercise to feel energised

[Teros]

On 8/12/2019 at 10:02 PM, NicTheRugger said:

Either knit or color once a week.

What kind of coloring?

 

Good luck on finding a place.

[NicTheRugger]

On 8/15/2019 at 2:01 AM, Salinger said:

Glad you are ok, we love having you here Nic <3 xx

Thanks, Liz! <3 

 

On 8/15/2019 at 1:28 PM, GoodDoug said:

Yeah, it turns out "free time" isn't free. It has a cost  

Gosh, it sure does!!

 

On 8/15/2019 at 1:41 PM, Jarric said:

House-hunting sucks, but you'll find the right place for you, just remember there's light at the end of that tunnel.

 

I don't know about you, but I really find exercise helps me mentally. So if that is you, don't wait to feel energised to exercise; exercise to feel energised

Very true! Motivating myself is the true challenge  

 

On 8/15/2019 at 5:45 PM, Teros said:

What kind of coloring?

I have a handful of coloring books that I can use! 

[NicTheRugger]

Hello hello, my friends. An update!

 

Thursday: Did 3.5 miles on the eliptical, and checked out an apartment. I quite liked it! The room itself was small, but the shared areas are very spacious, and I don't like spending time in my room unless it's for sleeping, so that's okay. My concern is whether my furniture will fit in once my bed is there... but on the plus side, there's a walk-in closet! And my potential roommate seems like an absolutely lovely person. We have a decent amount in common, too! She's studying history, and I'm a history nerd, she crochets while I knit, we're big readers and love Harry Potter, and both drink more tea than we probably should! I like her a lot, and even if I don't end up living with her, I think I've made a friend  

 

Friday: No apartment hunting, but did go on a nice 3.67 mile walk in the evening. 

 

Today: Visited 2 apartments. One would be me by myself and one would be with an older woman (60s) as a roommate. Both apartments were lovely in different ways, but I think I'd rather live with someone closer to my own age and with some shared interests, you know? I'm essentially living by myself now (landlady and I don't really speak much), and... it's a little lonely, at times. Especially as I have so few connections in the community outside of work. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to in the evenings, or even just hang out with and watch tv with.  So I've reached out to Potential Roommate with a couple more questions (namely, is she planning on leaving any time soon, because I don't want to move in with a great roommate only to find out that she's leaving 6 months later, you know?). Depending on how that goes, it's likely I'll be moving in mid September! 

 

I'm really liking morning stretching more than evening stretching. I think it starts the day better. I'm also working on building a more reliable morning routine, other than "get up, make bed, exercise, shower, make lunch, go to work." While I do like workout out in the morning, I also like having quiet time in the morning to think, enjoy the silence, have a cup of tea, and then start the day, and with this job, it's really good to be able to work out the stress of the day at the gym at the end of the day rather than at the beginning! 

 

That's all for now, folks. Have a great weekend!

[NicTheRugger]

Hey friends!

 

Quick  update:

My knee has been giving me trouble lately-- it's the same one I sprained (or thought I sprained) last year, and ended up being a key factor in my decision to not go forward with my Marines application again (because I was considering it, up until my knee started acting up again). Running and even cycling are a bit much for me right now. I've taken to wearing a supportive knee brace. The good news is that I can still use the elliptical! So that's probably what I'm going to have to do for the rest of the challenge. The bad news: my healthcare situation is confusing, but I'm looking for a doctor who can take me on or around 1 September, as that's when my new healthcare plan kicks in. Unfortunately, that means I have to wait until almost the very end of the challenge to get medical assistance because the US healthcare system is a bloody nightmare. That means I have to do a reorganization of my goals. Cardio sessions are going to have to be either walks or elliptical sessions, since I don't want to do anything to my knee to make it worse-- especially since I have to wait until early September for an appointment. Unfortunately, this also means that my favorite lifts (deadlifts and squats) are straight out until the knee is properly diagnosed and treated. Looks like it's back to the pull-ups and push-ups for upper body training because my lower body is on recovery/easy stuff!

I'm really liking my morning stretch routine. Only journalled once last week (whoops) but will be sure to hit at least 2 this week.

 

In other news... my lack of exercise is giving me a bit of squish! I need to figure out portion sizes again now that I'm not in military training mode and don't need as many calories....

 

Until next time!

[JuiceeTarget]

This is what I call "rolling with the punches." Sorry it is so tough for you right now, but it really looks like you are doing a great job adapting. 

[Salinger]

Hey Nic, what will you use to sort out calories and stuff? Hope your knee improves soon xx

[SkyGirl]

Hey Nic, I'm late to your thread and I'm so sorry to hear that things are rough at the moment. It sounds like you're doing a great job of trying to keep moving forward - hopefully you're also taking time to rest and take care of yourself, too.   

[NicTheRugger]

Hi friends,

 

Sorry for disappearing for so long! I'll admit, I'm not doing the best right now. I've been walking with a knee brace every day and my knee still isn't feeling better. I'm trying to find a doctor, but finding a new doctor is hard! I can't even walk for further than a mile without my knee hurting, and lifting? Forget about it! I moved my nightstand from my parents house to my current place for easier moving once I get an apartment and my knee was miserable afterwards. Just from carrying a relatively light nightstand (no more than 40 pounds-- a weight that I can and have carried for even longer distances than down a flight of stairs). Not being able to exercise in the way I've gotten used to doing is... difficult. It's taking a real toll on my mental health, and I feel restless and grumpy because I have no physical outlet available to me. Not being able to work out is also killing my motivation in other areas of my life. I'm hoping to find a doctor soon, so I can get my knee checked out and treated so I can go back to working out! I'm hoping to join a gym or maybe even pick up crossfit again! But I can't do that until I can do a basic body-weight squat or go for a walk without pain.

 

The apartment search was going really well. I found a place I really like, and in theory I'm meeting with the landlord this weekend. Buuut, I haven't heard anything yet from potential roommate about when we'd all be meeting, which is concerning? The paranoid part of me wonders if this was a scam in some way. I'm usually not paranoid about this kind of stuff but, you'd think that a landlord would want to fill an empty room in an apartment, right? Or maybe I'm just used to people moving at a more... expedient pace.  Fingers crossed, I guess.

 

With regard to morning stretching, while I've missed a couple of days here and there, it's probably the most consistent thing about this challenge so far. I actually quite enjoy the morning stretching. It's something physical I can do without undue strain on my knee, and it's a lovely way to start my day! I'm considering doing longer stretching sessions to get even more "exercise, but I've never been a fan of yoga-esque workouts. 

 

Right now, the best thing going for me is my job. I really enjoy it. Sure, the hours are long and the pay isn't that great considering the hours I work, but it's otherwise fantastic. I'm learning a lot, and I work with pretty awesome people. I also see some interesting stuff every day! Oh the stories I could tell... I'm starting to get a handle on my day-to-day stuff. I still have a lot to learn, obviously. My boss has been working for the office for 8 years and she's still running into stuff that she doesn't know how to do! But when it comes to pre-trial stuff, I'm feeling more and more comfortable. I'm actually writing up an intro manual for new ADAs! I'm hoping once it gets a bit more in-depth, I can share it with my boss/team and get their input to add to it and maybe make it an official thing for our little corner of the DA's office, and if that's successful, compile a more formal version for the office as a whole. It's a labor of love, and it's slow going, but I'm hoping to have a very basic "manual" by the end of September. That might be a goal for my next challenge...

 

That's all for now, folks! I'll try to check in a couple more times this week!

[JuiceeTarget]

Boo for bum knee, but yay for stretching.

Maybe you can find a good mobility routine to supplement stretching and to keep you more active. I know for me, calling it mobility training instead of yoga can help

 

I'll be sending good vibes for your knee!

 

[NicTheRugger]

Last week of the challenge! When I started this challenge, I didn't know how apt that name would be. This really has been a challenge of rolling with the punches.

 

The good: I found an apartment! I haven't signed the lease yet because my future landlord's printer wasn't working, apparently, but I have a move-in date of the 15th! (Looking to make it the 14th though, because who wants to move on a Sunday? Not me!) Another good: I found a doctor! She has pretty decent reviews, and she's board certified, which is a personal requirement for me, in looking for a primary care physician. I've never had a DO before as a PCP, but I've read into the differences between MDs and DOs, so I'm looking forward to seeing how the difference in philosophy/training takes effect irl. I'm enjoying doing morning stretching a lot. I think it's a really great way for me to start my day.

 

The bad: Moving is a right pain in the rear, and with this wedding that I'm going to this weekend, I have even less time to get organized and packed than I would like. Bad number 2: while I have found a doctor, I will likely be unable to be seen by her or her NP until after I move, because of paperwork that I need to fill out, and that's going to my parents' house rather than my own current residence. This means any fix to my knee will likely not happen until at least the end of September, if not October. I don't want to go to the ER for something that isn't truly life threatening, but this is inconvenient.

 

The ugly: I will likely need surgery to fix my knee. The pain, while greatly reduced, is still there and it's impacting my daily life. I can't go for leisurely walks anymore. Heck, I can't even walk around a warehouse store without pain, which... well, it sucks, friends. I hate being so inactive. I did a push-up workout today (4 sets of 20 incline pushups), and it was... boring. I miss being able to run and feel my blood pumping. I miss slowly working towards a new PR in squats and deadlifts. And I can't do any of these things that I love doing until my knee is fully recovered. Assuming I get surgery to fix it, I will also likely undergo a few months of physical therapy before I am well enough to do that. And it makes me sad, because I've worked so hard to get in as good as shape as I was just a month ago, and now all of that progress is going to be lost. 

 

I hate to end on a depressing note, but at this point, I'm sort of resigned to it. Hopefully I'll get into the doctor sooner than the end of the month, and I'll be able to get help sooner.  That's all for now, folks. Bye!

[JuiceeTarget]

15 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

and now all of that progress is going to be lost.

The progress won't lost, you are still the person you are because of the work you have done, and that won't change. Also, there are things you can do to keep active... even if they are a little boring. I think a little reframing can go a long way with your situation.

 

And I get it, setbacks suck. But you've had setbacks before and come out stronger... I think you will do so again. Reframing can help: instead of missing all these things you can't do, you have an opportunity to find some new things that you might (or might not) enjoy. 

 

Don't sit there and take the punches, roll with them  We all have your back!

[Salinger]

Hey Nic, great about the new place and stuff. So sorry about the troubles with your knee must be very hard. But you WILL get there !! Plenty of time for recovery <3 xx

[Elastigirl]

Glad you found a place. Bummer on the knee. Have you looked at Dr. Google for some rehab exercises? Obviously best plan is to see the doc but while you are waiting, maybe some mild exercises (that don't hurt)

 

What is the difference between a MD and a DO?