Life Unedited

[klinc]

When I write things down and look at them later, it can feel like looking at an unflattering photo. ;p It's hard for me to admit I'm not as smart and polished as I want to imagine... so underneath all the other goals - part of what I want to accomplish with this is being more accepting of my unvarnished reality.

 

Over the years I've had spreadsheets and lists with goals - and at some point I realized that a lot of them were all about trying to be "perfect" or as close to perfect as I could get. I was aiming for the perfect house, perfect yard, perfect wardrobe, perfect body, perfect diet; while trying to be the perfect daughter, friend, employee, pet owner, etc. I think all these things sound good - and I just bought into the idea that if I got closer to perfection - then I would be happier. But I started realizing that chasing them was kind of making me feel worse. It felt like I was always falling short, and there was always too much that I was supposed to be doing... so I've decided to refocus and get back to basics.

 

In a funny way - I guess I'm still chasing perfect - but instead of trying to do more and be more - I want to strip it down. 

 

Quests for 9/19 - 9/20: De-stress, De-clutter, Basic body maintenance

 

I have a really stressful job, I've been struggling with some injuries (from aerobics), and I'm a long time vegetarian (that's somewhat lazy about getting in green leafies and protein) - which means I can be a bit lethargic and struggle with recovery. So my starting goals are:

 

First 4 weeks:

Goal 1. Do yoga for 30 minutes a day with an emphasis on breathing and hip mobility. (De-stress + basic body maintenance)

Goal 2. Pick up the house every evening before bed. (De-clutter)

Goal 3. Eat protein in 2 of my main meals (Basic body maintenance)

 

 

 

[Jean]

I've spent my life as a teenager trying to be perfect, then my mother gave me this book where, upon reaching perfection, the protagonist was introduced to a room full of sitted people sipping tea because that was it: perfect people weren't doing anything. They were allowed to sip tea but that was the extent of it. The protagonist went back to living life.

 

Unvarnished reality is awesome and there's something grand in being able to look the truth in the eyes without blinking. I'm all for stripping down. Your goals look great, glad to have you among the struggling imperfect people shaping the world.

[klinc]

Thanks for the comment, Jean!  

When I was a teen, I was a bookworm who was really into music; and I think being a nerdy girl made me shrug off/rage against who society wanted me to be. I just wanted to play guitar. This is part of the reason having perfectionist tendencies really took me off guard as a 30+ year old woman. Part of me feels like, "Wait - wasn't I above all that?"

 

I guess having more responsibilities - made me take other people's expectations more seriously; and it seems like in the process I lost faith that being myself was/should be enough?

 

Anyway - I can report things are going well (ish) so far...
I have managed to eat protein at 2 meals a day every day! I skipped yoga one day already (!) so I decided to sign up for more structured classes to keep on track and I think this has helped (4 out of 5). And I'll give myself a B+ with cleaning. I've definitely been a lot better about picking things up as I go and having the goal in mind has made me more conscientious about other cleaning. But if it gets late I tend to go easy on myself (like yesterday I folded all of my laundry and put it in my room... and even though it's clearly not entirely put away, I can talk myself into this being a decent level of completeness)... I think the best work around may be to to revise Goal 2. Goal 2.1: Pick up the house every evening immediately after dinner.