Diadhuit moves 2/2

[Diadhuit]

It would still be nice to find a thing that works for you, since there are always more stressors on your way [emoji6]. It's a pity that all the conventional stuff doesn't work [emoji20].
 
I hope that you can stay at your job! Especially with Brexit coming soon, the Irish economy will probably suffer a lot. On the other hand, developers are always needed everywhere.

I am not worried about me finding work tbh. I am thinking of changing company anyway. Yet, Brexit uncertainty brings lower prices for houses, people made redundant and higher food prices (most is imported here). Ireland is probably THE place where being vegetarian harms the environment because meat is local, vegetables are not (beside potatoes and cabbage)...
Irish economy might gain from Brexit, because it was overexpanding, so this slow down is overall beneficial long term.

I really hope to find what works for me, I'm embarking to a 8 weeks mindfullness course on compassionate living. We'll see!

[Waanie]

I'm glad that something in the house is finally going better than expected . I'm glad that you have options for work as well, and that you don't have to worry about things like finances.

 

The mindfullness course sounds good, have fun with it .

[Diadhuit]

57 minutes ago, Waanie said:

I'm glad that something in the house is finally going better than expected . I'm glad that you have options for work as well, and that you don't have to worry about things like finances.

 

The mindfullness course sounds good, have fun with it .

 

Thank you!! I am glad too, even if sometimes I forget about it.

I think I could adopt this technique: https://forge.medium.com/move-tasks-from-your-to-do-list-to-an-i-did-list-a1193ab4440d

Since a lot of my stress comes to put effort into things and not seeing immediate results, having a list of what I accomplished in a day could give me a different feeling...

[Diadhuit]

Wed

- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - not really

- cook once per week - not yet

- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - 11.30 that works since I'm off tomorrow

- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - no

 

I am not ok. I am really not ok. I want to just sit down and cry. I want my ex back and I want to smash his face for getting back to me and opening a can of feelings. My grandma fell again and she is in deep depression and wants to die, and I'm afraid I won't see her before she does. At the same time I'm getting a huge fear of flying that is getting to me even on land. And I love my job but I'm about to snap to my boss. We were in disagreement with a person to hire, and honestly if that is how people get hired I distrust the whole industry and the idea of fairness (if, indeed, I had some left). I can't discuss details, but I want to shout from the rooftops how injust the field is! At least, it's not a candidate vs candidate situation, yet it's the first time that I want to leave the industry based on inequality on hiring (until now it has been about inequality full stop).

I better boil my rage down now.

 

 

[Bean Sidhe]

Glad to hear good news with the house. Its great they are going to have so much done before you move in.

[Waanie]

-hugs- 

 

I hope you will feel better soon.

[Diadhuit]

-hugs- 
 
I hope you will feel better soon.

I think I'm a bit better. I have a strong sense of justice and I see an injust world and want to cry. What's the point in spending all these energies to say we like diversity if this happens?!? (I know, cryptic, but can't reveal context)

Anyway, my plan is to probably leave soon, yet where can I find anything different?

In@Whisper thread I was reminding him about an evening prayer and how I could do it as well. Didn't do it, but still it might be a good way to find what is moving in my heart.

[Diadhuit]

-hugs- 
 
I hope you will feel better soon.

I think I'm a bit better. I have a strong sense of justice and I see an injust world and want to cry. What's the point in spending all these energies to say we like diversity if this happens?!? (I know, cryptic, but can't reveal context)

Anyway, my plan is to probably leave soon, yet where can I find anything different?

In@Whisper thread I was reminding him about an evening prayer and how I could do it as well. Didn't do it, but still it might be a good way to find what is moving in my heart.

[Whisper]

3 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

In@Whisper thread I was reminding him about an evening prayer and how I could do it as well. Didn't do it, but still it might be a good way to find what is moving in my heart.

You're going through a lot of stuff right now. Maybe the full Examen isn't what you need right now. I do think taking some time for Light and Thanks would be helpful; He is there and there are good things, even with the rest of the mess.

[Diadhuit]

Stressor one is done and was successful!
Talk was good, made some (re)connections to lay down a path out to another company in case I want to do that.
Nearly decided I will go and ask to change team more openly. I just can't stay where I am.
But first stressor two, moving in [emoji5]

[Diadhuit]

You're going through a lot of stuff right now. Maybe the full Examen isn't what you need right now. I do think taking some time for Light and Thanks would be helpful; He is there and there are good things, even with the rest of the mess.

Fair point, my spiritual director would say the same. Yet I'm drawn toward the examen (even a partial one), and the block feels more 'the enemy' work. It's complicated to explain better than this. I have to say yesterday I did the last part and I'm happy to say it felt like coming home [emoji5]

[Whisper]

10 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:

Stressor one is done and was successful!
Talk was good, made some (re)connections to lay down a path out to another company in case I want to do that.
Nearly decided I will go and ask to change team more openly. I just can't stay where I am.
But first stressor two, moving in 

 

Congratulations on the talk! Hopefully you can either change teams or jump ship to a better situation for yourself.

[Diadhuit]

 
Congratulations on the talk! Hopefully you can either change teams or jump ship to a better situation for yourself.

Thanks!!
I had a great weekend after, spent with my mentor and another former colleague.
I missed speaking the language of my region and while I don't really speak it, they do.
We sat, chatted about life and career and feel better...
Better... until I got really sick on Monday! It seems I have cought a bad viral belly flu.
Called the doctor, he scared me about not drinking (he's right) and the fact dehidration can cause clots in me... [emoji33][emoji33][emoji33]
But could start drinking again in the afternoon, so I'm slightly better. Even if still not in the eating mood

[Bean Sidhe]

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Waanie]

3 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

It seems I have cought a bad viral belly flu.

I had this too! I thought it was a case of food poisoning, but I heard later that some colleagues also got it. I'm glad you could get some liquids in on the first day already. Feel better soon!

[Diadhuit]

I had this too! I thought it was a case of food poisoning, but I heard later that some colleagues also got it. I'm glad you could get some liquids in on the first day already. Feel better soon!

There was some people from the Netherland at the conference, especially one seating next to me.
They might have spread that to me [emoji19]
Yet, I'm slowly back to my feet.

[Diadhuit]

Thu-Fri-Fri (more than a week!)
- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - not often, because of sickness
- cook once per week - 0/2 (but for this week, I barely ate)
- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - random sleeping pattern, not only because of sickness though
- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - some, not regular

[Diadhuit]

Sat - 1 day to move out!
- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - no
- cook once per week - 0/2 (barely ate)
- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - in bed at 11.30, yes
- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - yes

Emotional day, found some of my writings. It's long since I have been happy. Yet, I can tell how many of my prayers were realised.
And reveals some patterns.

And now it's nearly midnight and I'm thirsty. Shall I drink and risk not sleeping because of sleep apnoea (I reckon is partially caused by reflux) or because of thirst?

[Diadhuit]

Sunday - moved out!!!!
- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - yes (if I remember when in bed)
- cook once per week - 0/2 (still not 100% well, my belly rumbles still a bit)
- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - 45mins to the deadline, still bed to do and other things!
- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - yes

Busy and rewarding day.
Did phy exercises and darebee daily dare, packed, cleaned, moved out, unloaded boxes in the new place, discovered that freezer must have been left open because it froze out water, defrost some, chatted with a friend, went out for dinner with her, went to prayer, then Mass, talked to a friend about her depressed son, waited for the bus for 15 minutes, arrived home, chatted to the neighbour, started unpacking some stuff.
Writing it all out is quite [emoji33] for all I achieved in one day!

[Waanie]

14 hours ago, Diadhuit said:

Sunday - moved out!!!!

Congratulations!

 

[Diadhuit]

Congratulations!
 

Thanks!! yet still so much to do!

[Diadhuit]

Monday
- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - yes
- cook once per week - 0/3 (does cheese sandwich count?)
- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - yes, was so tired!
- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - no

I'm really tired, can't say more

[Waanie]

3 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:

does cheese sandwich count

Only if you make it a very fancy cheese sandwich with vegetables and a sauce, or if you make it a grilled cheese and eat vegetables on the side .

 

What are you eating for dinner at the moment? Isn't home-cooking something like an omelette or chili faster than ordering in/eating out?

[Diadhuit]

Only if you make it a very fancy cheese sandwich with vegetables and a sauce, or if you make it a grilled cheese and eat vegetables on the side [emoji14].
 
What are you eating for dinner at the moment? Isn't home-cooking something like an omelette or chili faster than ordering in/eating out?

My issue is remembering to eat before I get starving (that seem odd for an obese person)

So I'm often skipping breakfast as I'm late for work. I have lunch there, sandwich or pre-made. If I go to a tech meetup (as tonight I was speaking at one) there can be crappy and disgusting pizza. I arrived home 10pm. Now I'm in bed, feeling hungry but not acting on it.
Home-cooking is faster when you are home, and I miss it so much! I still have the tail of a big time-consuming wave that is keeping me from cooking much. I know, I know, excuses. I'm giving me some space for this challenge, but at least one meal a week NEEDS to be in! C'm on!

Tue
- physio exercises twice a day every day (unless dancing, max 1/week skipping) - yes
- cook once per week - 0/3
- in bed at 11 every working day, 12 weekends - yes, am so tired!
- meditate / pray daily (as little as: 'Goodmorning, I love you more and more and I feel God's love' acclamation is enough) - yes

[Diadhuit]

Actually,@Waanie I recently wrote this in anothe thread:

I am tempted by this recipe without sugar though: https://www.craftycookingmama....black-bean-protein-bars-vegan/

Or this replacing flour with chickpea flour:
https://www.dovesfarm.co.uk/re...free-beetroot-and-chia-brownie

I feel the desire to cook at home, yet I am not 'finding the time' that I know it being my excuse... what is the block I don't know yet.