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TGP

TGP takes another chance for an adventure

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the Large brick building was ugly, skip thought, it was nothing like the quiet reserved houses beside it.   he paused wondering for the thousandth time whether he really SHOULD do this.  all past attempts had gone SO poorly.  his lot in life, ignomious and impoverished suddenly seemed a beckon of stabilty that ran through his life; and More than stability, he COULD do it, no, not stability was the wrong word.

 

he life was bearable and doable.  Nothing of the ugly flagrant building was either of those things.

 

but then again he thought; this wasn't the first time he had run from home and dived into adventure.  it WAS a disaster Last time, and the time before that (all the littlier time before that)... but somehow he HAD survived.  maybe it was his time?  maybe things could be better.

 

he said a little silent prayer to the gods and dared to walk in.

 

the air stank of beer, brew, leaf and way too many uncouth people (that mostly all needed a bath).....

----

Hello World!

I need to change things up!  so I'll revert to a story quest!

 

as the intro says I've done this before!  expect stale unoriginal fantasy tropes and and a clumsy youngish guy looking for adventure!  expect some kind of vague tie-in to my life as a whole.  

 

anyways I'll try to keep it short.

 

I can't believe another challenge is upon me!  In THIS one, though, I'll be doing my half marathon.  its too soon to look at goals, quite yet.  but I know I need to manage time better than I am.

this is vast and constant fault of most of my goals. 

 

Great aims and expectations but If I'm to actually DO what I intend to do; I need to move on from my lax summer.

 

* I have weekly piano lessons again

* ofc I need a great constant effort to do well at the half marathon

* I signed up for a YMCA class on T/H.  very EARLY indeed!  5:30-6:30

*I need to make sure additional fitness in the morning doesn't lead to sleep deprivation

*I've not made much of a deal about it HERE but I really feel the need to be more spiritual than I've been recently.  not just attending church (which I have) but spending time thinking of scripture and praying.

 

from these five aims; I need to make smart, defineable, and incremental goals.

 

 

sept2.jpg

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mmm

I didn't think I'd post again today, but I've decided that because you guys are awesome! and have some great experiences to share...

 

I'd like to have your opinion.

 

Now, I don't have the consent of the person involved, so lets not talk of Who but lets just say that a very close person to me has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.... that person is also Not quite an adult, so I'm REALLY not at liberty to say who he or she is

 

I have found it a little more difficult to manage the relationship with that person since he/she has learned of their diagnosis.  it seems that me that yes, they probably have it, but its not a very strong or intense thing and it hasn't (to me) acted like I often see it described on the 'net.

...but Mental illness is a complicated thing; I realize this....

 

anyways.  my  concern is that I preserve a good and strong relationship with this person and above all manage to give him/her wise counsel.  as I have sometimes given this person advice- which they have appreciated (in the past).

 

but frankly, I kind of worry that he/she has used their diagnosis in a demotivating way.  becoming Less disciplined, less social, more disruptive, etc.

 

and don't take me wrong, I'm not EVEN suggesting this person is doing so on purpose.  but I think,  they have perseverated and obsessed on it.  they Now expect to see bipolar manic and depressive moods swings and as a consequence,  is experiencing some unnecessary anxiety as a result of that.  the anxiety, expectations,etc I worry become Just as much of a challenge (if not more) than the disease itself.  ... but IN SAYING that; I worry that might seem dismissive and even insulting.  I KNOW that stigma of a mental illness is REAL.  and I reject it entirely.  having a disease in your mind is NOT a personality flaw (full stop!).

 

I just wonder if there's anything I really ought to keep in mind when dealing with someone who just got diagnosed. 

 

perhaps I will google it out.  but those of you with personal experiences; please share anything that seems relevant to you.  I'd appreciate your perspective and thoughts.

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Hey Jason, good to see you, following along OF COURSE!

 

You also know i have bipolar, any questions, just ask <3 im happy to discuss my experiences xx

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well, yes

I'd really appreciate your advise with this (specifically) liz.

 

as I said; I kind of feel like he's acting up Beyond the emotions that bipolar would cause and I'm worried he's expectations may manifest symptoms due to his EXPECTATIONS

 

but its a really sensitive thing, as well.

 

being told you have bipolar disease would NOT be a easy thing to confront.

I'm pretty sure, some of these thoughts CAn't be shared with him.  he's got enough baggage just dealing with the disease.

 

but do you figure, a certain amount of TOUGH love is good?  General support ofc.... but perhaps a gentle warning NOT to let the disease take control of his life.

 

my fingers CRINGE just writing this so I'm thinking ... ah... NOT.  OTOH; sometimes people in my life have done my favors but asking me to be Tougher than I feel.

(or were THEY just being insensitive)

---

your opinion is greatly appreciated.

 

....I have Lots of love for people that struggle with this illness.  What a BRUTAL disease!

 

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14 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

A story challenge, fun! When is the half marathon?

 

 

October 12

 

14 minutes ago, Elastigirl said:

 

Adding  prayer and scripture to your life always reaps good  things.

 

you know I think I keep my light too covered by a bushel, to use the biblical expression.

I know this isn't the place to preach but at the same time; I think that I really wont' feel peace until I make my spiritual quest as sincere and real as my exercise program.

 

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I suppose it definitely depends on the person Jason. Do you know him well enough to know if tough love would work? In my opinion, dont let the bipolar change how you treat him. If you usually use tough love, then keep doing that, no need to be 'careful' around him, you know?

 

Im a very sensitive person so sometimes tough love can upset me, make me feel ive done something wrong!! But my friends know that, so are more tactful with me. I doubt that sensitivity is to do with bipolar, just the way i am!!

 

How old is he? (if you want to discus privately thats ok) 

 

Is he acting up because he is a teenager? haha 

 

Its funny though, im trying to remember what happened when i was diagnosed...if i acted like i thought i was MEANT to now act. Maybe i did a little, like you say, its a massive thing to be diagnosed with this. It hurts, i felt wrong, ashamed, and yeah, i felt FUCK IT, im going to be a little dickhead for a while and make people see im mad, and crazy. 

 

But i was younger then, i wasnt mature. It was really really really hard. :(

 

Plus if he is on new medications, there will be bad side effects for about 2 weeks, sickness, increased anxiety, restlessness or over tired...stuff like that. 

 

Wish i had someone like you to care for me back then.... i didnt tell my parents, i didnt want to worry them....anyway. If i can help more please just ask xx

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2 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I suppose it definitely depends on the person Jason. Do you know him well enough to know if tough love would work? In my opinion, dont let the bipolar change how you treat him. If you usually use tough love, then keep doing that, no need to be 'careful' around him, you know?st ask xx

 

Im a very sensitive person so sometimes tough love can upset me, make me feel ive done something wrong!! But my friends know that, so are more tactful with me. I doubt that sensitivity is to do with bipolar, just the way i am!!

 

Generally I worry about crushing his easily bruised Tender feelings... but yes, at times I have used tough love with him.  the relationship is (given WHAT it is) a little More complicated than one would think.   (sorry I think it reveals a little too much to say what that relationship is).

 

2 minutes ago, Salinger said:

How old is he? (if you want to discus privately thats ok) 

Is he acting up because he is a teenager? haha 

 

 

Not Quite an adult.   and YES, very much possibly a teenager having a teenager's reaction to something that he already feels bad about

 

2 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Its funny though, im trying to remember what happened when i was diagnosed...if i acted like i thought i was MEANT to now act. Maybe i did a little, like you say, its a massive thing to be diagnosed with this. It hurts, i felt wrong, ashamed, and yeah, i felt FUCK IT, im going to be a little dickhead for a while and make people see im mad, and crazy. 

 

But i was younger then, i wasnt mature. It was really really really hard. :(

 

 

ty for the candid personal experience in this question.  Yes, I think I'm very much seeing this kind of reaction.

 

but to add to that. this is NOT  a "F U" rebellious personality!  in fact he/she obsesses over respect to authority figures!  Never breaks a Rule!!  to put it in  Terms that MAY contrast to yourself; he doesn't TOUCH alcohol and couldn't be forced to do any Kind of DRUG!

 

he's/she's a very much, I FOLLOW THE RULES completely kind of person and this reaction hasn't changed that!

 

instead of REBELLIOUSLY BREAKING the rules; I think he's/she's Making NEW ONES about how PEOPLE with bipolar act manic and depressed at moments notice.

....

I would NOT accuse of that directly.  that's definitely NOT the right tact for him.  As a person with autism he/she already often feels misunderstood and stigmatized.

 

I VERY much think he/she is feeling wrong, ashamed,etc.... I wish I could ease those feelings (sometimes, for BOTH of you, actually)

mental illness ISN'T a defect.  I've had enough problems with depression to know this personally.

 

YES, I think he's/she's not mature enough to really understand this. and certainly Not as comfortable in his skin as I have gotten (over the years)

 

 anyways; does Any of the big issues in our lives, "wait" until we are Old enough to be ok with them? heck no....

 

10 minutes ago, Salinger said:

 

Plus if he is on new medications, there will be bad side effects for about 2 weeks, sickness, increased anxiety, restlessness or over tired...stuff like that. 

 

Wish i had someone like you to care for me back then.... i didnt tell my parents, i didnt want to worry them....anyway. If i can help more please just ask xx

 

he's NOT yet on medication.  the pychologist hasn't quite convinced the beaucracy that this is a real thing.

 

Have you ever heard about HOW screwed up American Health care is (espacially in regards to mental illness)? ha. (no political rants I promise!)

 

Lastly I can have lots of empathy for the adults around you.  no doubt they barely knew what was going on and had NO clue what to do.

I've read enough about your parents to feel that your blessed with a pretty great parents (espacially  your father)

 

I'lll keep you informed as circumstances permit.  ty for your candid thoughts...

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I would be patient.  People all adjust to their diagnoses differently and he may just be acclimating to the fact that "hey, I have this". They may be acting out in an attempt to come to terms with this, or prove to themselves or others that they have it by acting the part, or they just don't know how to control their feelings right now. My opinion is that if it continues and you're concerned maybe sit down with them and kind of.... approach it from another angle that's not tough-love, maybe just be like "hey it's been a month since you got dx'ed with this, how are you feeling about it?", and maybe kinda let them open up and see what they have to say and go from there.

 

Keep us posted!!  ALSO HI FOLLOWING

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Thank goodness for Salinger :)

 

But as for your friend. Young people are going through such a tumultuous bout of brain chemistry changes that adding a mental illness on top is a huge amonut to manage. If your friend is acting out, maybe they need to right now. Maybe they need to retreat from people, or be absolutist about things, or whatever (I obviously don't know the exact form of all their actions). Some of managing is support, and some of it is figuring out how to be self-sustaining. Give the kid some reaction time for a new diagnosis. Be patient. Let them know you're there. But if you're going to push them in a particular direction, do so gently. It is more important that you are present for support than that they fix anything on a particular timescale. If they aren't a self-harm risk or a risk to others, space to let some things slide might be warranted. Even adults swing into funny habits when major events occur.

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2 hours ago, TGP said:

it seems that me that yes, they probably have it, but its not a very strong or intense thing and it hasn't (to me) acted like I often see it described on the 'net. 

 

I know you realize this, but I have to say it anyway: This is a dangerous statement. Much like trauma, a mental illness's effect on a person and how they are able to operate in the world varies wildly from person to person. I have come up with a number of friends with ADHD - it seems to run in nerds - and while some of my friends just have unique ways of organizing themselves, others slipped into some questionable and unhealthy habits. Don't minimize the effect the diagnosis has on this person - you need them to know you believe them that they're having a hard time so that they feel comfortable asking for help when needed. Mental illness is incredibly incredibly isolating.

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yeah, like here I need to work on being a voice of support and help.

 

this is harder NOT easier when the relationship is much more personal.  ty for your thoughts Daemon.

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First, YAY! for story challenge! You know I love story challenges and I've seen a few more this cycle so I'm pumped!

 

Second, I think patience is the key to your situation. Patience and acceptance on your side first, it can affect you as much as it affects him. Next, try to communicate that the diagnosis doesn't _change_ anything. It's the same situation it was before the diagnosis, just now it has a name. That is much easier to say than it is to know in your heart, but maybe you can help him see that.

 

Good Luck!

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Not having first hand experience with these kind of situations, I can't help without doing more harm than good but I'm still full of admiration for your kindness and empathy. Plus, you know, story challenge. Tough times you're going through (as GoodDoug has written, having a relationship change like that usually also affects you) but you seem well on your way to not let it get in the way of your awesomeness.

 

I'm tagging along to send thoughts. This IS the time.

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13 hours ago, TGP said:

I signed up for a YMCA class on T/H.  very EARLY indeed!  5:30-6:30

These were my FAVORITE.  Get me GOING in the morning before work had a chance to rain on my parade.  Get it.

 

In terms of your 2nd post (in my experience with high schoolers...7 years as a teacher): first of all, I second. Deamon in that mental health can manifest itself in 100099 different ways.  My ADD is different from my students, their friend, etc.  I wasnt diagnosed til I was 30 because I was well behaved in school.  My inability to organize and focus and fibish what I start was seen as a personality flaw, not a mental illness because I could sit down and shut up in class.

 

However, as a teacher I have also found that anytime a kid gets any kind of news that seems to change their perception of themselves (or others perception of them) like a diagnosis, it can potentially lead that kid to "try on" whatever this new perception might be by leaning into it.  Some kids do go a bit far with it out of frustration or depression or to make it a joke to their friends as a coping mechanism (so when they are really struggling, their friends think they are being funny, not sick) "Fine, you say I'm bipolar, Im gonna be the most bi fucking polar person you ever saw"

 

 The best thing to do (in my personal opinion...you do you) is be supportive of what they are going through, but also remind them that this doesn't define them and they are still the person they were last week before all this happened, and that you accept this new piece of them as part of the whole that makes them the kid you respected and enjoyed hanging out with all along.

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Skip was Nervous starring at his (unappetizing) bland meal of stew and potatoes and wondering how in the world he was supposed to eat it....  For you see, SKIP was on an adventure and he knew he needed a good meal and a nights sleep to venture further into his destiny.  and he knew too- he was far too Nervous to eat, to say nothing of sleeping.....

 

A strong burly middle aged mans sat down in front of him.

"So, I've been watching you and your little adventure", he says

 

Skip WAS massively alarmed by EVERY word of this strangers statement- and was Very ready to flee for his life

 

The man's expression was one of direct Command.  "You don't know me-do you?  hmmph.  well you Should I was at your Dad's stable enough times.

 

This means Nothing, skip quickly thought,  he's dad knew many thieves, skinthroats, and bandits....

 

"I am Called Benyon, and YOU need help...." he says.  "you NEED to know; You are Going to Fail!  you already have three times before and you WILL again"  

 

the earnestness of it- set skip back.   but... it was hardly a relevation. somehow Skip figured in his heart of hearts this too was a failing Quest- a hopeless task, and after the needs robbing he would be out of gold- and back at his dad's stable like the losing, failed son he always felt he was.

 

Benyon, though, had this most piercing look-  "..but  you know. it isn't impossible..."  its almost like he was arguing with himself.  that Indecision, though last for just a moment- a momentary lapse from a man that had captured the gift and wisdom of the Confident choice.

 

No, Benyon said, No - You shall come with me.  there's more in that loofish head of yours that you know. lets Discover it!

 

I am going to Jackson crossing by tomorrow and You shall come with me. Finish your meal quickly and saddle up my mount.  make sure my horse is prepared..."

 

.... This was Shocking to skip- just a moment before he thought he was being robbed- Now he was to be this mans helper??

 

Benyon Frowned.  Now, listen very closely.   I want to help you kid- and I'll pay for your little laber.  3 shillings a day... but YOU must do as your told.... that is the price of my assistance.

so Hup!  we have much to do.

 

and if we stay the man three sits over WILL rob you (or try)... I see it in his eyes...

---------------

 

Hello my friends.

 

sorry for being offline for too long.  I had a nice three day weekend...  Did a wonderful 16mile hike with my son!  we were both very happy to see that he could handle the distance.

 

the hike was LOVELY!  beautiful crisp cool sunny day, the first hints of yellow leaves,  in the very scenic "Hickory Creek Wilderness" area.

its the only wilderness area in PA

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRZIQW6HG-IvOgdajDt6ch

----

what does my story mean?

 

its time for me to be DIRECT about things.  "benyon" is the personification of my good advice, confidence, and mentor- while dufas skip is me.  Clumbsy, error-prone,  likely to fail.

 

but If I pay mind to my mentor, perhaps I will NOT fail. perhaps NOT?

 

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On 9/13/2019 at 3:42 AM, Sabretooth-Kitty said:

Good luck with your goals and half marathon! 

 

Thank you!  I have hopes, too, that I'lll do better about my goals this week.

On 9/13/2019 at 3:06 PM, Salinger said:

Hows things man? x

 

well, like always, its got its good sides and its NOT so good sides.

overall, I've enjoyed this weekend quite a lot.  it felt like I had TIME to enjoy myself a little.  espacially my 5 walk with my son.

 

but.... I've been having so MANY headaches recently!  :( 

On 9/13/2019 at 2:34 PM, DaemonCorax said:

In other news, how’s the running going?

 

Yeah, that Didn't go particuarly well this week.  I missed my LONG run. its TIME for the big efforts- just really a few week before the half marathon.

but I had problems with sleep most of the week and only got the 2 smaller runs.

 

;) the shoes are NICE though.  really, really happy with my shoes.

 

and I'm pretty convinced I CAN run the 13 miles.  I try very EARNESTLY to get the 10mile run in this week.

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22 hours ago, TGP said:

but If I pay mind to my mentor, perhaps I will NOT fail. perhaps NOT?

I think the mentor is there to help you up when you do fail, help you try again, but better this time

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On 9/16/2019 at 2:24 AM, TGP said:

the hike was LOVELY!  beautiful crisp cool sunny day, the first hints of yellow leaves,  in the very scenic "Hickory Creek Wilderness" area.

its the only wilderness area in PA

 

Oh that is stunning!

Here's hoping and pushing that you get that long run in this week.

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