Sylvaa is Succinct

[GoodDoug]

Yes Sylvaa, sorry your thread is now less succinct. <relurk>

[Sylvaa]

17 hours ago, GoodDoug said:

I haven't done much travel, (really, very little) but now you guys make me not want to talk about it in public.

 

I understand the "status signaling" aspect, but I really feel like it is important when I feel someone is doing that to check whether it is them being pricks about all the places they've gone, or me being a prick and feeling jealous about not having gone all those places. I easily project my own insecurities on others, and feel others do the same (see what I did there?)

 

Please take my comments as a gentle nudge to be aware of how you might sound and not as an attack... please.

 

Nope, I see where you are coming from and tried to frame my statements in a way to acknowledge that I don't begrudge anyone traveling experiences. I also was specific about how it's common in my industry (consulting). 

 

Here's the thing - if you just got back from an amazing overseas experience, I want to hear about it. I want (the collective) you to tell me of your excitement and all the fun things you did and saw. If it's relevant to a conversation (i.e. if we are talking about LotR and you went to New Zealand recently), tell me how they compare. I work with a girl who is a nomad. She's in her mid-twenties, is single, and uses her weekends to go different places. I enjoy her stories because for her, it's about the experience of seeing what is out there. I have a travel buddy who takes a yearly vacation to the Caribbean. He is a great resource for places to stay and places to avoid or the best excursions and hotels. 

 

What I don't like are the people who use travel as a status symbol. If you are sitting around in a group and one-up every story that is told, that's an issue. If you can't hold a conversation around anything other than all of the places you've been, that might be an issue. If you continue to drive conversations around only travel, even if the rest of the group has moved on, that's an issue. (Also, collective you, not YOU).  

 

Consulting as a whole is a lot about status symbols - what you have, who you know, where you've been, etc... it's a very frustrating thing to someone who doesn't really care. So yes, my experiences are colored by the fact that most of the people I am around are entitled without realizing it (or with realizing it and not caring). I work with a lot of very nice people who don't understand the real world. Also, now I'm not succinct.

 

Yesterday:

• Worked out
• Ate well
• No Yellow Belt work
• Enough Tomatoes

Right now, work is weird. There is a lot of upheaval with the current project I am on to the point where I might not have to travel for a bit very soon. More to follow.

[Wild Wolf]

On 9/16/2019 at 12:04 PM, Sylvaa said:

It was fun, but not my thing.

 

I prefer disc golf, so maybe you would too? 

 

Love the simplicity. How's the new program going with the hubby?

 

Wolf

[Sylvaa]

4 hours ago, SheriffWolfpool said:

I prefer disc golf, so maybe you would too? 

 

Love the simplicity. How's the new program going with the hubby?

 

I think I just prefer my sports more physical. But it's all good. Life isn't fun if everyone is the same.

 

The program is going okay. The warm ups some days are almost a full workout for the husband, but he's sticking with it and getting through it. Whenever possible, we are doing them together (or at least at the same time!) which has been fun. 

[NeverThatBored]

6 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

The warm ups some days are almost a full workout for the husband, but he's sticking with it and getting through it.

 

I feel that way about warmups most days.  

 

Good for him for sticking with it! What kind of program is it?

[Sylvaa]

13 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

I feel that way about warmups most days.  

 

Good for him for sticking with it! What kind of program is it?

 

It's an online thing that's fairly CrossFit style, but adapted in a way that everything can be done at home with dumbbells or a barbell (we have at least the beginnings of both). The reason I think he's more okay with it is the program is that's adapted off of the workouts that Seth Rollins does. (If that name means nothing to you, it's because you don't watch WWE.)

 

This weekend we are on our way to Philly. It's too bad someone had to have their birthday a different weekend and didn't make plans to go up there this weekend.

 

[Machete]

On 9/17/2019 at 8:43 AM, Sylvaa said:

What I don't like are the people who use travel as a status symbol.

 

Seems like the difference between having sex with someone vs. banging people.

 

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Seth Rollins does. (If that name means nothing to you, it's because you don't watch WWE.)

 

I remember watching that guy live on Smackdown when he was in The Shield. I thought they were just going to be B-listers. Haha

 

On 9/19/2019 at 8:21 AM, SheriffWolfpool said:

I prefer disc golf, so maybe you would too? 

 

Apparently UFC's Ben Askren is really good at it.

[NeverThatBored]

11 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

This weekend we are on our way to Philly. It's too bad someone had to have their birthday a different weekend and didn't make plans to go up there this weekend.

 

 

I knowwwww but it was a totally spontaneous trip! It was fun, but now we have to head to NJ this weekend to meet my bf's new nephew and I'm so tired T_T 

 

Do you have any fun plans for Philly?

[Snarkyfishguts]

I really like this format because its totally on level with my current attention span  

 

[Sylvaa]

Weekend Update

 

Operation Convince My Husband to do a Spartan Race was a success. We did the Citizens Bank Park Spartan on Saturday. It was a lot of fun. We took the train up Friday night, grabbed a delicious dinner, woke up early Saturday and spent a good part of the day at the ballpark, changed and went out for BBQ, then came home midday Sunday.

 

My husband was actually pretty excited about all of the obstacles he was able to complete (as was I) and he saw where his biggest limitations were in the whole process. He's willing to do these again (provided there is no mud), so we're probably going to use this as a benchmark race every year. 

[Sylvaa]

 

 

[WolfDreamer]

4 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Operation Convince My Husband to do a Spartan Race was a success.

 

Awesome! I'm so glad you two had fun. I'm proud of you for the courage to convince him, and I'm proud of him for getting out of his comfort zone and trying something new with you. Well done to both of you. 

[RES]

On 9/23/2019 at 12:44 PM, Sylvaa said:

Operation Convince My Husband to do a Spartan Race was a success

Awesome job!

 

[Sylvaa]

 

Wow, it's been a hot minute since I've actually posted in my own thread. Or anywhere really. I've fallen into a weird funk that I am still slowly working my way out of. So what happened? I'm not really sure. I mean, it'd be super easy to blame WoW for sucking me into a zerg rush to 60, or even that post-race funk people get into after completing goals. But both seem pretty fake in terms of why I spiraled into a free fall of introversion.

 

The good: I've been losing weight. Steadily, but not too fast. I hit 168 lbs this weekend; which is the first since probably early spring (if I even hit it, I know I hit the 160's, but uncertain if I stalled at 169). It's primarily been food related (go figure). I've been limiting things that make me feel crummy and it's working. The worst thing right now is that at least some beers are a no-go drink wise. Luckily, wine seems to be fine. It's still a work in progress as I figure out what exactly I can still incorporate into my eating, but it's so nice to eat meals and not be miserable. Also related, I've been really cognizant of the AMOUNT of food that I eat. So it is very rare that I eat to a point of feeling uncomfortable. 

 

I've been focusing on using the veggies out of our weekly boxes and have been incorporating ALL THE VEGGIES into meals. I've done Italian Wedding Soup (with kale), an eggplant curry, and a ratatouille esque veggie side over the past two weeks. I'm pretty sure my kids aren't as cool with it, but my husband has at least gotten on board with most of it.

 

The bad: workouts have significantly suffered. I just.... haven't really felt like it. I can't say that it's related to the whole weight loss thing, because I definitely feel like I could, I just haven't wanted to. I'll get in a workout or two here or there, but across the board, it's just been kind of meh. My travel schedule has been a bit messed up over the past few weeks, which probably hasn't helped either. 

 

I've also been super unfocused with work recently. This project is winding down and there are some un-predicted changes occurring, which has put a damper on a lot of work. I've not had as much to do, so instead of buckling down and finishing work, I've been majorly slacking. I also haven't been using my planner (surprisingly those two things go together). I did restart using it today, so hopefully going forward, it'll be better.

 

The ugly: My husband and I have had some rocky moments lately. I don't think this is the reason for the struggles above, but I also don't think it's helping. I say that because there isn't too much correlation between when one or the other happens. We've both been having some internal struggles that have been contributing to external struggles. We've talked through a lot of things recently, which has helped, and we are open to the possibility of counseling at some point if we could (which is super difficult where we live for a number of reasons). He has been dealing with some self-consciousness and jealousy and I'm struggling to find ways to help him. 

 

All in all, this challenge has been a wash. But I needed it to be so. So next challenge should be better.

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

I hope things work out. Regarding you and your husband, I can offer some books that might help the two of you help yourselves. Please remind me of what, if any, religious leanings you have so I can recommend appropriately (if you are interested), since many of the resources I know are Christian based.

[Sylvaa]

24 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope things work out. Regarding you and your husband, I can offer some books that might help the two of you help yourselves. Please remind me of what, if any, religious leanings you have so I can recommend appropriately (if you are interested), since many of the resources I know are Christian based.

 

Things will work out because we want them to. Disclaimering a bit to not come off wrong. Sometimes you get to a point in a relationship where you recognize that you aren't going to succeed for whatever reason, and that's okay. But we aren't there. Honestly, I think it's a good thing some of this is happening because I am my husband's first healthy relationship. So in a lot of ways he's still trying to figure out himself. But at the same time, there is an element of frustration that goes along with that. 

 

I'm always interested in resources. That being said, we may not end up using them depending on how "preachy" they are. Even though I'm not Christian, I don't have a fundamental problem with a number of their teachings because they are pretty much in line with a lot of the other major religions. I don't mind scanning over parts that I know aren't going to happen (or modifying to be more in line with my beliefs). But if the tone gets too "you need Jesus in your life", then I'm out. 

[Tanktimus the Encourager]

One that isn't religious at all is John Grey's What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know. It's lengthy, but helpful.

Another one is Love and Respect. This one is explicitly Christian, but I think it's accessible for people of all Faiths. They quote the Bible a lot, but aren't trying to convert anyone. The short version is Men typically give and crave respect, whereas Women typically give and crave love. As a disclaimer, this isn't about gender roles or "Who should be in charge" but rather helpful tips on how best to communicate; when men feel respected they feel more free to show love and when women feel loved they feel more free to show respect.

 

[GoodDoug]

Glad you are back. Sorry things have been yucky lately. I think we all find ourselves in a funk sometimes. Here's hoping you find your way through the funk and to the funky good times.

[The Most Loathed]

Sorry to hear about struggles but also celebrating the successes . W00t for 168 and for not feeling crappy after eating!

 

I have some recent experiences with relationship stuff and found The Seven Principles of Making a Marriage with by Gottman to be very true for me if a bit dated. The fact that you guys are aware and talking is probably the single most important thing. I believe in yo.

[Sylvaa]

So guess who was super excited to jump into working out, then forgot a sports bra for the week? I could have probably run out and purchased one, other than the fact that I've already had to purchase an extra recently (like in September) for the same reason. While I have no issue spending money on things like that, I am only fine with it when I need it, and this is not an emergency. In fact, I have enough that I shouldn't buy one. Monday, I did a hotel room workout and yesterday I did yoga. So I'm surviving.

 

Next week, I get to work from home, which is super exciting. I'm ready for a break from all of the on site time. This project is only slated to be staffed through November at the latest and I am so ready for some solid at home time. My manager is all about giving people slight rests and I am very excited about that. 

[The Most Loathed]

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

So guess who was super excited to jump into working out, then forgot a sports bra for the week?

me?

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

I could have probably run out and purchased one, other than the fact that I've already had to purchase an extra recently (like in September) for the same reason.

oh.

 

Forgetting gear is always frustrating.

[Sylvaa]

13 minutes ago, The Most Loathed said:

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

So guess who was super excited to jump into working out, then forgot a sports bra for the week?

me?

 

Is it wrong to say that I have one you would look super cute it!  

[The Most Loathed]

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Is it wrong to say that I have one you would look super cute it!  

What color? Yellows don't look good against my skin tone.

[Sylvaa]

2 minutes ago, The Most Loathed said:

What color? Yellows don't look good against my skin tone.

 

Oh, totally same! Dark gray, super comfy too!

[The Most Loathed]

1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

Oh, totally same! Dark gray, super comfy too!

 

You gotta go for comfort. Dark grey is really my color!