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RisenPhoenix

RisenPhoenix Works On Something

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The Something is TBD.

 

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Okay, the TBD didn't really happen, so lets keep it vague and still somewhat measurable.

 

1) Something about Food

 

I need to keep logging my calories, but with the inclusion of multiple provided lunches at work, it's hard to accurately track.  So on days that I'm getting a lunch (or being social on the weekend), I'm going to go for an IF approach.  Thankfully the days I'm provided lunch at work are Wednesday and Thursday, which means they won't make my life difficult for aikido.  I have accepted that my job, IF, and training do not mesh well.  I don't have enough in my control to really keep the timings of my meals in such a way that they can fit my bench work times, give me ample room to digest before aikido, and then have a meal after aikido.  My attempts at 16-8 inevitably turn into more like 12-12, or 14-10.  Weekends I still do semi-fast, anyway.  

 

Still aiming to have my weight be 210 or less by mid November, and my last weight in had me at 217, which is nearly 10 pounds lower than when I started at the beginning of last challenge.  So at least progress is being made.  Even if I had a lot of food and beverage at my house warming this weekend.

 

2) Something about Aikido

 

We are still trying to launch a fundraiser for, well, funds for the dojo to move.  And I need to work on some social media outreach, photography, and interviews we wish to work on.  Also there's the whole teaching fiasco that is just sucky and definitely influencing my brain.  (Though fun conversation last night with the other 6th dan senior instructor is the fact that she also finds all of this ridiculous and she said she'd talk to Sensei to see if she can get a better outcome.) . Tack on the fact that I'm trying to get back to building myself back to a semi-regular schedule and that's that.

 

3) Something about Houses

 

There are a few things I want to get settled before the weather turns too cold here.  I have two radiators that have small leaks around the valves to turn them on and off.  It's either a very easy fix, or a very hard fix.  The easy fix means I should be able to do it.  The hard fix means I have to hire someone.  On top of that there are steam vent valves that need replacing on some of the units, so they don't whistle the night away once warmed.  I also would like to install a smart thermostat, but am also 100% certain it'll be more involved (from what I saw I need a C-wire for most smart thermostats, and my furnace is old enough that it doesn't have one).  That's to say nothing of the whole "How well insulated in my house" question that I won't know until Winter actually hits.  But if I can spend a bit more money to clear out the big issues, hopefully it'll be easier down the road.

 

4) Something about Socializing

 

Being in the new house without a roommate is nice, but also means I now lack and built-in socializing that living with someone provides.  Honestly, no idea if I actually care about it, but I should probably try to have one or two more social things added to my calendar to get me out of the house.  I guess.  This Saturday I'm volunteering at my cousin's brewery/going to a birthday celebration, I need to have AgentSka and his girlfriend over for dinner at some point, and there are a few other "what's ups" that might be happening by the end of the challenge.  So try to get a bit out of my comfort zone I guess.  Maybe.

 

Somethings are exhausting.

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On 9/11/2019 at 10:11 AM, RisenPhoenix said:

There are a few things I want to get settled before the weather turns too cold here.  I have two radiators that have small leaks around the valves to turn them on and off.  It's either a very easy fix, or a very hard fix.  The easy fix means I should be able to do it.  The hard fix means I have to hire someone.  On top of that there are steam vent valves that need replacing on some of the units, so they don't whistle the night away once warmed.  I also would like to install a smart thermostat, but am also 100% certain it'll be more involved (from what I saw I need a C-wire for most smart thermostats, and my furnace is old enough that it doesn't have one).  That's to say nothing of the whole "How well insulated in my house" question that I won't know until Winter actually hits.  But if I can spend a bit more money to clear out the big issues, hopefully it'll be easier down the road.

^^^^^^This

 

I strongly recommend getting a professional in to look over your heating system NOW. Before the weather turns cold. Lots of people are going to discover furnace problems on the first cold day of fall. You can make an appointment now and get someone in before things go crazy busy for them.

 

While you can probably fix some things yourself, it is good to have an expert go over the system with you the first time. For example, I learned that the radiators in my old house had leather gaskets in the valves. That house was built in 1921. Leather gaskets work fine for some period of time that is less than 70 years. The furnace repair guy warned me not to close the radiator valves unless we were going to shut off the water and replace the gaskets. Closing them would break up the ancient leather into little bits, which would contaminate the hot water radiator system when the valve was opened again. I don't know when your house was built but I'm sure it has some weird quirks that you would not suspect.

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Yeesh.  Life and weeks fly by....

 

Some Things about somethings.

 

1) Food was crap.  Lots of running around, lots of minimal energy, lots of just convienent food.  Weight was 220 on Saturday morning and then I proceeded to spend the next 48 hours eating carbs and drinking beer.  The fest was awesome, but exhausting, and I'm currently still dead from exhaustion.

 

2) My knee was being stupid this week, so I was forced to take things easy.  Monday the knee acted up in class, so I took class and NP off.  Went to class Thursday, Friday, and Saturday though.  Thursday I talked to Sensei about the Teaching Debacle.  It seems that it's mostly having kept missing one another on the mats (years gone by I was training Wednesday and Thursday rather than giving myself nights off, so those days plus Sunday meant I saw him three days a week rather than just the Sundays, which I sometimes miss because Life) so he wants to see me more in his classes, plus something vaguely about having "Our Dojo Style Aikido," which is horrifically vague since there are three senior instructors, and a dozen people who have taught aikido over the years.  If he had said his style aikido, would have made sense, but specifically he said Dojo aikido style.  So that's interesting.  So probably going to shuffle my schedule around now to alternate my Tuesday and Thursday attendance so he can see me more.

 

3) Talked to my neighbor, she has a good plumber she recommends.  So I'm going to try this week to tighten things without help, and if not I'll get her guy to help.

 

4) Beerfest this weekend was fun, but exhausting.  I'm still lagging today, even though I didn't need to work Sunday (outside of a low key sit-and-sort task I did with my cousin while she and I chatted and drank coffee).  A former neighbor who missed my housewarming is trying to set something up where he can come see the new place.  He got his own apartment a year or so ago and is an extrovert.  So he is suuuuuper lonely.  While I am reveling in the solitude.  But that'll happen at some point.  Preferably while I'm not a dead, exhausted human.

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On 9/23/2019 at 11:51 AM, RisenPhoenix said:

2) My knee was being stupid this week, so I was forced to take things easy.  Monday the knee acted up in class, so I took class and NP off. 

 

My sympathy on your knee being stupid. If you haven't already done so, I strongly recommend getting it evaluated by a competent physical therapist (not a doctor!) A good PT can tell you which muscles need to be strengthened, which need to be stretched, and the exercises to make that happen. Taking things easy for a few days is a good start. Long term addressing the problem takes targeted work.

 

On 9/23/2019 at 11:51 AM, RisenPhoenix said:

Thursday I talked to Sensei about the Teaching Debacle.  It seems that it's mostly having kept missing one another on the mats (years gone by I was training Wednesday and Thursday rather than giving myself nights off, so those days plus Sunday meant I saw him three days a week rather than just the Sundays, which I sometimes miss because Life) so he wants to see me more in his classes, plus something vaguely about having "Our Dojo Style Aikido," which is horrifically vague since there are three senior instructors, and a dozen people who have taught aikido over the years.  If he had said his style aikido, would have made sense, but specifically he said Dojo aikido style.

 

How strangely familiar. My sensei also talks about how people who plan on testing should show up for her classes at least once a month. Good plan to go to his classes more often.

 

Ah, the perennial "style" issue. Maybe he means Kanai sensei's style? There are always differences from person to person, but there are some characteristic moves of each of the first generation uchi deshi. Tohei Akira's ikkyo is a direct irimi while Saotome's ikkyo is more off the line to the side. Tohei shihan used more ten chin moves than most of the other shihans. Might that be what he means?

 

On 9/23/2019 at 11:51 AM, RisenPhoenix said:

While I am reveling in the solitude.

 

Yay for enjoying your new house!

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Yeah, that is a lot to have to work with and through and such.

 

Glad things are straightening out at the dojo; hopefully, y'all get on the same page sooner or later. Sounds like a quirk of traditional work. It's been my finding ever since I walked away from most hierarchical training that in the absence of a curriculum to be loyal to, you just have personal development. A sort of individualized becoming toward something, rather than doing x or y technique the way some other dude does it because.

 

Like I said, not having that ironed out sounds like it could be a source for some friction; I hope y'all manage to smooth it out.

 

Also, hope the radiator's a simple fix!

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Right, so food has been kinda crap the last few days.  Or at least not ideal.  So not crap.  Just not ideal.  Yesterday probably had the highest Crap content, but also was post-Stairs, so I'm less flummoxed about it.  Need to have a light dinner today because lunch provided at work was super heavy.  And I have friend/s coming over tonight, so food is a bit questionable right now.

 

Aikido I skipped Monday because I was too dead to train by the time work ended.  Tonight's last minute plans mean that I'm not going like I expected, but I do expect to train tomorrow and Saturday, so it should be fine.  Saturday I might even get to do three hours (my dojo + Harvard's back in session).

 

I do want to try and tackle one of the radiators this weekend and see how it goes.  Based on the Youtube video I saw I have the tools, I just need some plumbers tape.  I'll do more research, but if I can get one confidently repaired then I can get the other squared away, and then hopefully only hire a plumber to flush the system for routine maintenance.   But anyway, from the refund Redfin gave me I have a grand stocked away for plumbing and emergency repair costs.  Hopefully it doesn't go too much more than that...

 

So yea.  Somethings getting done.

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19 hours ago, Kishi said:

Hey! Just dropping by to say I hope the Somethings ain't gotcha down. Hope things are well!

 

Not dead.  Just....damn.  Damn.

 

So my saga the last week...

 

Friday I got amazing data.  Like, company-altering, very important data.  So I kind of exploded into action with my NuBoss to repeat this thing as fast as possible for confirmation.  I got to unwind on the weekend, which was nice (3 hours of aikido on Saturday between my dojo and Harvard, another hour on Sunday), and some batch cooking and was somewhat social with my former neighbor.  Also played a whole bunch of the Link's Awakening remake on Switch, which I got as a house warming present.  

 

Monday morning at work we realize the group we collaborated with on the Very Amazing Data was giving our all company seminar this Thursday.  Cue ramping up things needed to accomplish before we give them the data confidently.  So Monday I worked about 10 hours on that, and then also volunteered to give a talk to the department RAs about some process stuff.  And then Monday afternoon, the company sent out an email that my former BigBoss and BigBigBoss (the two who shuffled and caused the massive reorg that hit LAST month) were "transitioning out of the company effective Monday."  AKA - Let go.  I mean, a week notice I guess for the rest of us, but considering how close I had become to BigBoss (who I spoke with extensively about the issues I had with my Former Boss at the end of last year), it shook me up.  And the Very Amazing Data was a thing those two people championed, and I have been explicitly told that my NuBigBoss didn't care about.  So triple hit there.

 

Tuesday was analysis and also producing a slide deck of the data in the narrative that we needed to provided to NuBigBoss.  Cue another 10 hour day to make sure data is accurate, repeated, and also delivered in a straightforward manner that leaves no question to the fact that this is a real effect.  Wednesday morning I did Stairs, got to work, and finalized the slides and data with NuBoss that he was going to deliver to NuBigBoss.  Except NuBoss wanted to use a crap slide as the "Major" result, and I had to do a whole lot of pushback to make sure the best slide did that.  Essentially he wanted to use a slide to avoid a minor criticism that actually would open us to a HUGE criticism, especially in how the slides were presented.  He relented after I pointed out half a dozen different reasons why his idea sucked.  Score one for productive work relationship with NuBoss.  He presented the data to his boss, and NuBigBoss apparently loved the data.  I then got to send it to the collaborating scientist, the scientist's Director, and the Chief Science Officer at work (as well as Former Big Boss and Former Big Big Boss).  I spent a good 15 minutes crafting that email to suite the audience, and also make sure my name got good air time.  Former Big Boss said she the email was perfect.  So I did something right.

 

In the process of all of this, the dojo is still looking for a new space, and I got an email asking if I could make it to class last night because a potential temporary space person was coming to see the dojo and how we use space to assess how good of a fit we would be in their space.  So I dragged myself to class despite putting 30 hours in at work in 3 days and being mentally and physically exhausted.

 

And now it is Thursday.  We have the meeting the other group is presenting.  I have a billion tasks besides this to accomplish.  AgentSka and his girlfriend are coming over tonight for dinner and drinks to the house.  Tomorrow should be lighter, but also I need to go to my parent's house to help with manual labor things this weekend.  And through it all, my diet has been crap thanks to stress and need for speed food.  And the house, while wonderful, also needs a plumber ASAP to deal with the radiators, because New England seems to have suddenly decided to hit Fall really hard.

 

The only plus side to all of this is I'm sleeping surprisingly well.  I wonder why....

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There honestly needs to be a "Wow" react. Lot of highs and lows over in here, it sounds like.

 

I don't mean to underreact or to understate what's going on; it's just an awful damned lot, and like you said:

 

56 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Not dead.  Just....damn.  Damn.

 

So, you know.

 

I hope things stabilize soon for you and that you get enough rest to recover and be well.

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2 minutes ago, Kishi said:

There honestly needs to be a "Wow" react. Lot of highs and lows over in here, it sounds like.

  

I don't mean to underreact or to understate what's going on; it's just an awful damned lot, and like you said:

 

 

So, you know.

 

I hope things stabilize soon for you and that you get enough rest to recover and be well.

 

I think at this point I've given up on the concept of stability. Like, I get the concept of life throws crap at you, but I can't help but feel like my highs and lows tend to be pretty epic waves.  Like, sure, average the two and you get the neutral existence of Life. But I tell people what's going on in relative detail and I tend to get looks of "Holy crap how are you still sane?"

 

Dunno.  Like, on one hand I do put myself in some of these scenarios (hello, home buying process).  On the other hand, I get whalloped with things out of left field semi-regularly.  And yea, from a stoic perspective the latter I can work on not giving as much power to, but also.... not like I have a huge support network to lean on when I really could use it.

 

*shrug*

 

Well, I guess it'll all stop when I'm dead.  Probably.  I feel like I'd probably somehow fall into some necromancer's lap and I'd get reanimated into, I dunno, some zombie butler/punching bag.

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Wow. So much wow.

 

I understand how much work and stress it is to verify that Really Amazing Data is real. There is always that nagging doubt that someone changed a setting on an instrument somewhere, and the results will turn out to be bogus. Good for you standing up to your NuBoss to present the data in a meaningful way.

 

You are a great dojo member for showing up at class after putting in all the extra time at work.

 

I think you made the right decision to eat anything that happened to be in reach for the last week. Any other choice would have compromised your high priority goals.

 

I hope you get some positive things at work from all the effort you put in this week.

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2 hours ago, Kishi said:

There honestly needs to be a "Wow" react. Lot of highs and lows over in here, it sounds like.

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That was a huge emotional rollercoaster reading that update. I really don't know what to say.

39 minutes ago, Mistr said:

Wow. So much wow.

 

 

Also I feel the need to say thank you to the three of you .  Because a large part of the time I feel like maybe I'm over reacting to how exhausted I am and maybe I'm just full of shit.  But glad to see at least other people are going "okay, that's a bunch of stuff" and not telling me I'm full of shit.  Since I know all three of you would call me on my shit. :P

 

I'm also still trying to figure out how it's suddenly October.  And how much I need to push my dojo's annual seminar to people on the medias of social.  And how much work I'll have to do for that.  And now it's suddenly the end of the year and I feel like January was yesterday.  Because time is dumb and I need a TARDIS.

 

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Hugs!

 

Recruit (grab and pin) some of the newer people in the dojo to help with the seminar. Delegate ALL the things that can be done by other people. Really. You are helping them learn responsibility. Shugyo is an important part of martial arts development. You would be selfish and inconsiderate if you kept the seminar planning tasks all yourself. :D 

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On ‎10‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 2:15 PM, Mistr said:

Hugs!

 

Recruit (grab and pin) some of the newer people in the dojo to help with the seminar. Delegate ALL the things that can be done by other people. Really. You are helping them learn responsibility. Shugyo is an important part of martial arts development. You would be selfish and inconsiderate if you kept the seminar planning tasks all yourself. :D 

 

I second this. They're your kohai. Act like it. :D:D:D

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It's Tuesday. Somethings happened kinda I guess.

 

Week was crazy with all the data stuff at work, but Friday I did manage to get two hours on the mat in with Harvard.  I was going to leave after one class to unwind, but was convinced/harassed to stay.  Got home later than I really wanted, but ah well.

 

Weekend was surprisingly relaxing considering I spent it with my parents.  Saturday I woke up much later than expected and got a late start.  Got to my parents' house and promptly was taken to the back woods to lumberjack.  Wood hauling, cutting, stacking.  Worked with my dad for a couple of hours, got a cord of wood or so cut and stacked in their wood shed.  I was then fed a dinner that mostly consisted of veggies, which I think is a first at my family's house. Following day was light but still some physical activity, and I got sent home with a bunch of leftovers they wouldn't eat (read: Veggies and meat).  I also upgraded my slowly dying phone.  I'm now chic and own an iPhone 11.  Huge upgrade from my iphone 6 that was no longer charging properly.  Or giving locational data properly.  Or pairing well with my bluetooth headphones.  Or car. Or staying in silent mode.  It's a nice upgrade that'll last me another 5 or 6 years, until Apple stops supporting this one, too.

 

Food is not particularly awesome right now.  Yesterday I guess wasn't terrible, today's worst offenders are rice, some popcorn chip things, and a few nibbles of chocolate.  Lots of nuts, too.  Should work on getting more fruit into my system and water.  Been slacking on that front.  Trying to not be paranoid about the calorie counting, just being mindful of my junk intake right now.  Easier for my brain.

 

Social-wise I kind of already was social this week.  Coworker I'm semi-mentoring came by my house to pick my brain about some experimental design stuff, plus a little venting for him.  Initially the draw was picking my brain over whiskey, but I made tea instead and we just had tea and science instead of whiskey and science.  Later this week NuBboss wants to take the team to dinner, and was insistent that everyone comes.  To the point he made a direct comment to be flexible with the time and calling out my aikido commitments.  Whiiiiiich shows he's gotten the point that I'm not just someone who does science and I'm a whole person.  And also he wanted a Thursday dinner so I could make that anyway, even with adding in Thursday classes. >.> <.<

 

House stuff still needs to be organized.  Gotta call a plumber.  I have a lot of expenses kind of popping up this month, more than I expected, so I'm going to have to be a bit light somewhere in my things.  Thankfully I've kind of been told I don't need to pay much/at all for the dojo's annual seminar.  I have helped with a million things, plus I'm allowing at least 4 people to sleep at the house that weekend for the seminar.  I can be a little light on money this time around.

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1 hour ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Social-wise I kind of already was social this week.  Coworker I'm semi-mentoring came by my house to pick my brain about some experimental design stuff, plus a little venting for him.  Initially the draw was picking my brain over whiskey, but I made tea instead and we just had tea and science instead of whiskey and science.  Later this week NuBboss wants to take the team to dinner, and was insistent that everyone comes.  To the point he made a direct comment to be flexible with the time and calling out my aikido commitments.  Whiiiiiich shows he's gotten the point that I'm not just someone who does science and I'm a whole person.  And also he wanted a Thursday dinner so I could make that anyway, even with adding in Thursday classes. >.> <.<

In a perfect world you could look him in they eye and say, "You want me there, you pay me." Alas, this is not a perfect world, and neither you nor I would say something like that, but sometimes it's fun to pretend.

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2 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

In a perfect world you could look him in they eye and say, "You want me there, you pay me." Alas, this is not a perfect world, and neither you nor I would say something like that, but sometimes it's fun to pretend.

 

Eh, this isn't a huge deal like that.  IF it were "Miss all your classes always because work" he'd get a big ol' fuck off from me.  This is just minor teasing because I have made it clear that most of the time I'm away in the evenings for training purposes.

 

That said, I have, in fact, told him unless things were on fire if he tried to give me weekend work I would tell him to fuck off.  In those words.

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Are we still in the challenge? Anyway....

 

I was a dead human the back half of the week. The dinner On Thursday with the new team went well, but essentially I was in work mode for 14-15 hours that day. Friday I was exhausted as a result and was constantly running around, too. I did go to Aikido Friday night but I was dead. Then two hours on Saturday with Harvard and one more on Sunday at home. 

 

Also on I think Tuesday night or Wednesday I made a huge discovery/realization about a program at work that got escalated to my Nu big Boss pronto. So that is two huge things in two weeks. I’ve become a commodity at work. Also I had to make another big email to people that is spurring  a lot of conversation in the department. It will either be really good for my career or really bad, since it’s the topic the NBB previously said he didn’t care about. TBD on how that plays out. 
 

Food has been better but not great. I weighed myself yesterday and I was 218. Slightly more than the last time I dared touch a scale, but not terrible. Also my body is smaller. Last time I did a waist measurement it was nearly 38”. This time it was just about 37 inches. Ideally I get back to 35.5”, but bit terrible here. And my natural waist is at 36.25” or so. Not terrible. Not great or what I want. But not terrible. 
 

got the contract for the plumber, now I just need to call him. No stress there at all. Also house is nearly ready for the seminar guests Il be having, so that’s nice. 
 

Unrelated I did NP today because it was a holiday and close to my house. I grabbed my first ride share bike, pedaled over, then did the workout. Pedaled to breakfast, then lost the ride share bike, walked half way home, found another ride share bike, and ride it home. Probably would have been cheaper to drive, honestly, but nice amount of movement before 9am. Then I made chili. 
 

starting to think up new goals now, and I think I’m in a better place than I was six weeks ago. So that’sa plus. Keep moving forward. 

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