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Mad Hatter

Mad Hatter retreats

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In every assassin’s life there comes a time where one needs to step back from the shinies and turn inward. For me that time is now, hence the druid retreat. Hi! :) 

 

For the past few months I’ve been struggling with mental health, and while I’ve come back from the stage where getting out of bed is an achievement, I’m still feeling mentally… wobbly. Now I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, rather I’m trying to see it as my body and mind trying to tell me something, and my job is to listen even when it’s difficult. 

 

Which brings me to my goals

 

1: Do not try to ignore the brain gremlins by numbing or distracting myself. Or they’ll bite 10x harder. Instead, get bored and see what happens - good and bad. 

  • No YouTube, movies, shows or games
  • No IG, or FB - I’m not actively using either, and they’re both heavily culled, but it makes it easier to remember the rules
  • NF only with morning coffee
  • No phone or computer past 8 pm on weekdays
  • Books and podcasts are ok, unless I end up binge reading for 5 weeks which is not the point. :D 

 

I'll admit I'm quite scared of this challenge, but I've been wanting to do this for a while as I'm curious to see what will happen.

 

2: If I can’t run from the brain gremlins, learn to deal with them

Either journal, meditate or go for a swim on a daily basis. The first two are very much new experiments to me.

 

I don't want to turn it into a goal, but a few weeks back I decided to commit to handstand training for the foreseeable future, as an experiment to see what happens when you only do one thing at a time instead of being a perpetual dilettante. ;) Let’s see how far I can take it before the FOMO kicks in haha. I have as separate handstand battle log which I will continue updating with details of my training. I'm also taking a free running class where I'm in the baby stage of learning flippy things, but other than that it's pretty much all handstands.

 

I don't have a nice intro blurb, so if you have questions ask away - I'm an open book! :) 

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14 minutes ago, Tobbe said:

Wow! Those are some ambitious goals! No YT, no FB, no IG... What to do with all that free time?!

  

Following along :)

I'm not sure, but that's what I'm hoping to find out. :lol: I'm going to make a list today of potential ideas to use as a starting point.

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3 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

Hi, following along

 

Have you considered art or a musical instrument to do in your free time?  

Art is definitely on the list! Musical instrument is not on the list right now, I tried to learn the ukulele at some point but I didn't enjoy the practicing part. :P I could hear how bad it was. :lol: Now it's at the office and my boss plays it whenever he can't focus. Which is very frequently haha.

I've been toying with the idea of learning to sing, I don't think it's a project for now but one of these days. I'm really, really bad at singing, and while I know I don't have the voice for it and would never expect to get to the remotely good stage, I'm curious wether it'd be possible to go from a point where even karaoke is embarrassing to a place where I can at least sing in tune.

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35 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

I'm curious wether it'd be possible to go from a point where even karaoke is embarrassing to a place where I can at least sing in tune.

 

Hah, I've given up on even that part... Whenever I have to take part in "Happy Birthday", or Christmas carols, I just quietly hum along :D Don't want to ruin it for everyone else Note :P 

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32 minutes ago, Tobbe said:

Hah, I've given up on even that part... Whenever I have to take part in "Happy Birthday", or Christmas carols, I just quietly hum along :D Don't want to ruin it for everyone else Note :P 

Curious, did you ever try to learn? And if you did, how? But I'm the same, I don't sing unless I can't hear myself. :P Sometimes I wish I were tone deaf so I couldn't hear how terrible it sounds. :D 

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Nice goals :). I'm in the same stage, where doing anything substantial can take a lot of energy. I'm looking forward to your list with possible activities, as I'm also struggling with finding things to fill my time with.

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1 hour ago, Mad Hatter said:

I've been toying with the idea of learning to sing, I don't think it's a project for now but one of these days. I'm really, really bad at singing, and while I know I don't have the voice for it and would never expect to get to the remotely good stage, I'm curious wether it'd be possible to go from a point where even karaoke is embarrassing to a place where I can at least sing in tune.

I tried learning to sing at one point, and was able to get so that I can sing along with someone else if they sing well.  I will never have a great singing voice and cannot carry a tune well, but I am better than I was.  I would love to get better, but I feel like I may have hit the limit of my abilities

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7 minutes ago, Waanie said:

Nice goals :). I'm in the same stage, where doing anything substantial can take a lot of energy. I'm looking forward to your list with possible activities, as I'm also struggling with finding things to fill my time with.

Hah your list seemed pretty long already! :lol:

 

3 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

 I tried learning to sing at one point, and was able to get so that I can sing along with someone else if they sing well.  I will never have a great singing voice and cannot carry a tune well, but I am better than I was.  I would love to get better, but I feel like I may have hit the limit of my abilities

How did you try to learn? Do you think it's only a physical limit or a self teaching limit or that you could maybe learn to sing well, or at least better, if you found a style that suits you better?

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4 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

How did you try to learn? Do you think it's only a physical limit or a self teaching limit or that you could maybe learn to sing well, or at least better, if you found a style that suits you better?

Pretty much teaching myself through youtube tutorials & practice.  I have a few siblings that are amazing singers (My brother was even part of a choir that went touring all over the world) so I suspect that I may have had some potential but I don't know if I could ever unlock it, especially at this point in my life.  

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32 minutes ago, Mad Hatter said:

Curious, did you ever try to learn? And if you did, how? But I'm the same, I don't sing unless I can't hear myself. :P Sometimes I wish I were tone deaf so I couldn't hear how terrible it sounds. :D 

 

No, I've never tried to learn. So I can't say it's impossible for me to sing. But I just can't control how I speak/sound. I can't imitate dialects, and I speak foreign languages with a horrible accent. I also don't play any instruments. We had to learn to play the flute in school. And I did learn, but it was all mechanical. Never did have an ear for it. 

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8 minutes ago, WhiteGhost said:

Pretty much teaching myself through youtube tutorials & practice.  I have a few siblings that are amazing singers (My brother was even part of a choir that went touring all over the world) so I suspect that I may have had some potential but I don't know if I could ever unlock it, especially at this point in my life.  

Oh wow, impressive! I have absolutely no idea what's possible to achieve as an adult, it's extremely far out of my territory! Part of me suspects that it's like with most things, if you put in enough practice and learn the techniques you can achieve a lot. But then there really is the anatomy of the mouth and vocal cords that will play a massive difference and there's no escaping that. But I don't know to what extent it plays a role. Maybe it's a large role, or maybe it's like with fitness where people say things are impossible when in fact they just don't put in the effort required...

 

4 minutes ago, Tobbe said:

No, I've never tried to learn. So I can't say it's impossible for me to sing. But I just can't control how I speak/sound. I can't imitate dialects, and I speak foreign languages with a horrible accent. I also don't play any instruments. We had to learn to play the flute in school. And I did learn, but it was all mechanical. Never did have an ear for it. 

There's a lot of fine motor skills involved in making sounds, I guess the first part in learning to sing or speak differently is simply to build strength and connections with muscles that you've never used before in that way. For some people it's completely natural and for some it requires lots and lots of practice and probably coaching help...

 

I never learned any instrument - the recorder was the first instrument that all kids had to learn before they were allowed to choose their real instrument (so dumb!), but my parents wouldn't let me try because they didn't want me practicing at home. :P (It sounds bad but I don't blame them, they were probably right and I wanted to learn because everyone else did it, I don't remember ever having an intrinsic interest in learning an instrument) 

 

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9 hours ago, Mad Hatter said:

No phone or computer past 8 pm on weekdays

 

Goes to bed at 7:30. Wakes up at 3:30 to go on the computer until work starts

Problem solved! :D :P 

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13 hours ago, darkfoxx said:

Hello and welcome! Congrats on getting as far as you’ve come already - here’s to kicking those brain gremlins asses!

Thanks, lovely to be here! :D 

 

11 hours ago, @mu said:

 

That's tough!

In for the taming of those head weasels :)

 

p03zw1sn.jpg

I wish mine were that cute. :lol:

 

11 hours ago, Tobbe said:

 

Goes to bed at 7:30. Wakes up at 3:30 to go on the computer until work starts

Problem solved! :D :P 

Genius!

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good luck! well thought out challenge :) 

 

and on the subject of learning things you aren't inherently good at: yes, i think you can learn to sing. you may not have natural talent but with enough grit, i think you can get to a happy place! 

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Interesting challenge. I'm super impressed with how you are bravely moving out of the comfort zone  and taking the time to listen to your own voice.

 

My church is  really into singing. They believe that we all have the ability to sing. Obviously, some do it better than others. But, if you think about it, singing is one of those things that is across cultures and throughout history. Since we don't really practice singing much as children, we don't develop the skill and so then we don't have it (and we don't pass the skill on to our children. I had never really though about it that way until I went to this church. I am working at improving my singing. Right now I'm at the  not quite as sucky stage .:)

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19 hours ago, Zenaxavoir said:

Whoa, we have similar challenges (except yours is harder, lol). The Brain Gremlins need to freaking die.

I'd rather learn to deal with them, as sometimes they have good things to say. They just have communication issues. :) 

 

16 hours ago, raptron said:

WOAAAH!!! I'm so impressed by your anti-gremlin strategy. 

It's a pretty radical approach, but now's a good time.

 

13 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

good luck! well thought out challenge :) 

 

and on the subject of learning things you aren't inherently good at: yes, i think you can learn to sing. you may not have natural talent but with enough grit, i think you can get to a happy place! 

Thanks, I think I might need it. :)

 

I'd set an extremely low bar for singing, I'd be happy if I could just hit notes more or less right. :P 

 

13 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Interesting challenge. I'm super impressed with how you are bravely moving out of the comfort zone  and taking the time to listen to your own voice.

 

My church is  really into singing. They believe that we all have the ability to sing. Obviously, some do it better than others. But, if you think about it, singing is one of those things that is across cultures and throughout history. Since we don't really practice singing much as children, we don't develop the skill and so then we don't have it (and we don't pass the skill on to our children. I had never really though about it that way until I went to this church. I am working at improving my singing. Right now I'm at the  not quite as sucky stage .:)

Thank you.

 

Not quite as sucky is a great achievement! :D I actually have been wondering about the consequences of both not singing and also not making loud sounds in general. I wonder if there's something we're missing out on when we keep our emotions in and voices down.

 

12 hours ago, GoodDoug said:

I like your challenge, very appropriate. I am interested to hear how journaling will work for you (or not work)

I've tried doing morning pages a few times, and I while I found it too time consuming to do on a frequent basis, I did find it very helpful in getting thoughts unstuck when they were trapped in a loop. It's easy to have the same thoughts pop into my head over and over, but I'm too lazy and get too bored to bother writing them down. :P 

 

12 hours ago, sylph said:

<3

:cheerful:

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On 9/15/2019 at 12:58 PM, Mad Hatter said:

I've been toying with the idea of learning to sing, I don't think it's a project for now but one of these days

Did you mention this, maybe a couple of years ago? Or I'm having an internet dejà-vu?

 

 

It's been a few days now, how is it going?

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