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Whisper

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I've been petering out the last few challenges. I think part of that has been depression, and part of it simply being overworked. It looks like the 50-60 hour weeks are going to keep on coming, possibly through the end of the year. Outside of work, we're also going in to a busy time of year for me. Bell Choir has started up again. Orchestra will be starting soon. I'm also planning on taking a study based on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola, which will be fairly demanding.

 

At the same time, I don't want to fall completely off the grid here. I want to continue making progress (or at least not backslide) with my health, so I'm going to aim small this time and at least stick around until I fill up for a fuller challenge.

 

Goal #1 (as it always seems to be) is sleep. If I stick to a good routine, I do better in most aspects of life, but keep backsliding out of it. 

Rules for sleep:

1. Laptop never goes in bedroom.

2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom.

3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8.

4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed.

Exception: on nights I am out past 7:30, half hour wind-down starts when I get home.

Need to do today: get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom.

 

Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.

I've still got a big stack of boxes from when I moved way back in February. I either need to get them sorted out or moved into a small storage unit by the end of the month. I would rather just get them sorted, so goal is a minimum of 1 box a day, sorting books that I want to keep onto my book shelves, getting rid of books I don't want to keep, and storing through miscellaneous stuff. I've good a good amount of space in my closet to store stuff, I just need to make better use of the space I have.

 

Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.

Today:

1. Get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom.

2. Get back of scrap paper into car to take to recycling thing at church.

3. Crush empty cans for recycling

4. Put clean laundry away and dirty laundry into basket.

5. Take shower

6. Bell Choir practice, drop off box while at church.

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I don't think there's anything wrong with doing a smaller smaller challenge based around time constraints.

Normal weeks are 45-55 and cover weeks for me can be nearly 70 hours so I can relate to that, especially the sleep thing, frankly when I'm that tired it's the only time I can get into any kind of consistent routine (hmm maybe next challenge for me).

That daily check list idea is interesting, I've actually spent a large part of today setting a routine checklist up for myself like that at work but I hadn't considered extending it to simple stuff at home.

Good luck.

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I've been petering out the last few challenges. I think part of that has been depression, and part of it simply being overworked. It looks like the 50-60 hour weeks are going to keep on coming, possibly through the end of the year. Outside of work, we're also going in to a busy time of year for me. Bell Choir has started up again. Orchestra will be starting soon. I'm also planning on taking a study based on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola, which will be fairly demanding.
 
At the same time, I don't want to fall completely off the grid here. I want to continue making progress (or at least not backslide) with my health, so I'm going to aim small this time and at least stick around until I fill up for a fuller challenge.
 
Goal #1 (as it always seems to be) is sleep. If I stick to a good routine, I do better in most aspects of life, but keep backsliding out of it. 
Rules for sleep:
1. Laptop never goes in bedroom.
2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom.
3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8.
4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed.
Exception: on nights I am out past 7:30, half hour wind-down starts when I get home.
Need to do today: get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom.
 
Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.
I've still got a big stack of boxes from when I moved way back in February. I either need to get them sorted out or moved into a small storage unit by the end of the month. I would rather just get them sorted, so goal is a minimum of 1 box a day, sorting books that I want to keep onto my book shelves, getting rid of books I don't want to keep, and storing through miscellaneous stuff. I've good a good amount of space in my closet to store stuff, I just need to make better use of the space I have.
 
Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.
Today:
1. Get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom.
2. Get back of scrap paper into car to take to recycling thing at church.
3. Crush empty cans for recycling
4. Put clean laundry away and dirty laundry into basket.
5. Take shower
6. Bell Choir practice, drop off box while at church.


Yeeee!! you are back!
And I like your goals, make sense with the amount of work.
Is there anything that might reduce the load?

Are you going to do the exercises now? That's a lot of effort, I realised I can't give the whole attention they require right now.

It seems you have a lot on your plate, and I am confident you can deal with it!
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40 minutes ago, Diadhuit said:

Are you going to do the exercises now? That's a lot of effort, I realised I can't give the whole attention they require right now.

I'm not sure right now when I'll be starting them. I had made an attempt at them a few years ago using this format, but was unable to complete them. I've been wanting to give it another attempt and had approached James about possibly doing them over the summer. He had told me that he was planning on running them this fall, but at last follow up hadn't nailed down when he was going to start it. I am a bit nervous about doing them with how much I currently have on my plate, but this is something that I've really wanted to attempt again for a while, so we'll just have to see how it goes.

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Trying to walk out the door after my 10 hour day, my manager stops me to ask if I can stay late, and come in late the rest of the week! So doing 11.5 hours today, which is probably going to throw off my evening to do list, and my sleep timing for the rest of the week...

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I'm not sure right now when I'll be starting them. I had made an attempt at them a few years ago using this format, but was unable to complete them. I've been wanting to give it another attempt and had approached James about possibly doing them over the summer. He had told me that he was planning on running them this fall, but at last follow up hadn't nailed down when he was going to start it. I am a bit nervous about doing them with how much I currently have on my plate, but this is something that I've really wanted to attempt again for a while, so we'll just have to see how it goes.


Do you have a spiritual director (or companion as mine prefers)?
I found that a good one is a blessing! And she is preparing me for the exercises and since lately I was always crying when I was talking to her, I realised how important it is not to start now.
Do you practice the examen already? Or biblical readings every day? Journaling?
Don't want to discourage you only because I didn't have time though!

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Trying to walk out the door after my 10 hour day, my manager stops me to ask if I can stay late, and come in late the rest of the week! So doing 11.5 hours today, which is probably going to throw off my evening to do list, and my sleep timing for the rest of the week...


Ugh! What job do you do? Why is there this much overtime? Is it paid at least?!?

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On 9/17/2019 at 2:13 AM, Diadhuit said:

Ugh! What job do you do? Why is there this much overtime? Is it paid at least?!?

In grandiose terms, I am a Faith Healer / Exorcist for a company catering to those willing to spend top dollar to assuage their deep and abiding fear of the outdoors. In more mundane terms, I'm a Maintenance Technician for company making overpriced window coverings. All of our product is custom ordered, so our work level isn't consistent and we are in a busy time of year. We also just changed computer systems, so nothing is working right, and Maintenance is currently short handed, so even more hours. Yes, the overtime is paid.

 

On 9/17/2019 at 2:12 AM, Diadhuit said:

Do you have a spiritual director (or companion as mine prefers)?
I found that a good one is a blessing! And she is preparing me for the exercises and since lately I was always crying when I was talking to her, I realised how important it is not to start now.
Do you practice the examen already? Or biblical readings every day? Journaling?
Don't want to discourage you only because I didn't have time though!

One on one spiritual direction do not seem to be a common practice amongst Lutherans. I'm guessing that you're Roman Catholic? 

I looked up examen when it showed up on your list for a while last challenge. I have not previously practiced it, although when I was working on the variation on the exercise, most of the elements for it were included in the daily assignments, just not called out as such. I've struggled to have consistency in my own practice; I think that is part of why I want to try them again, to have the accountability and layout.

 

I read some more about Examen last night and tried some with a journal before bed. I think I'm going to make that part of my regular routine. I found several outlines for it; do you have a prefered one?

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In grandiose terms, I am a Faith Healer / Exorcist for a company catering to those willing to spend top dollar to assuage their deep and abiding fear of the outdoors.


This made me chuckle. I needed a bit of a laugh. The bright side is that at least you can have a bit more money. Is it worth the effort?

One on one spiritual direction do not seem to be a common practice amongst Lutherans. I'm guessing that you're Roman Catholic? 
I looked up examen when it showed up on your list for a while last challenge. I have not previously practiced it, although when I was working on the variation on the exercise, most of the elements for it were included in the daily assignments, just not called out as such. I've struggled to have consistency in my own practice; I think that is part of why I want to try them again, to have the accountability and layout.
 
I read some more about Examen last night and tried some with a journal before bed. I think I'm going to make that part of my regular routine. I found several outlines for it; do you have a prefered one?


You guessed correctly. Baptised Roman Catholic, practicing Roman Catholic and Church of Ireland, Christian by faith. I attended some Lutheran services (not sure it's the right term in English) but I'll admit my knowledge has some limitations.
Anyway... spiritual direction is not common in catholics either. I have been very lucky and after two failed attempts I found the person that clicks with me. Befriending a gesuit priest has its advantages... they know people
I do struggle with my consistency too, yet when I was regularly doing the examen it was really easier to see the path. Yet I find some resistance to it now and it might be because it would show something I don't want to aknowledge.
I started with this book: http://www.loyolapress.com/a-simple-life-changing-prayer.htm
And the examen goes like this:
:


1. Ask God for light.
I want to look at my day with God’s eyes, not merely my own.
2. Give thanks.
The day I have just lived is a gift from God. Be grateful for it.
3. Review the day.
I carefully look back on the day just completed, being guided by the Holy Spirit.
4. Face your shortcomings.
I face up to what is wrong—in my life and in me.
5. Look toward the day to come.
I ask where I need God in the day to come.

I then adapted to me, where point 2 is feeling the best moment in which I was closer to God.

The point 5 was the one that falls first, yet the most powerful. I find that way too often what I ask is realised, in ways I don't expect. And shows God's care and love, and also their sense of humour.

Now, I realise I've written a lot, but maybe it was a lot of words that I needed to hear for myself. I am going to switch off and pray the examen before falling asleep. Goodnight!
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@Diadhuit I ordered a copy of the book. I also looked up your name. Irish for "hello", literally "God to you". I really like it. I hope when you see this you have rested well.

Shutting down my computer. Going to do the Examen and get some sleep myself.

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Monday

Goal #1  sleep. 

1. Laptop never goes in bedroom. Fail

2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom. Fail

3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8. Fail

4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed. Fail

Schedule got thrown off my working extra late and timing being off with everything. Didn't get to sleep until after 11.

 

Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.

Got a little bit done.

 

Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.

Today:

1. Get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom. Fail

2. Get back of scrap paper into car to take to recycling thing at church. Check

3. Crush empty cans for recycling Fail

4. Put clean laundry away and dirty laundry into basket. Fail

5. Take shower Check

6. Bell Choir practice, drop off box while at church. Check

Had much less (productive) time than planned. Missed items moved to Tuesday.

 

Tuesday

Goal #1 sleep. 

1. Laptop never goes in bedroom. Check

2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom. Check

3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8. Check

4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed. Fail

Sleep start was 9 pm.

 

Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.

Sorted three boxes. Feeling more able to move but lots left to do.

 

Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.

Today:

1. Get phone and laptop chargers back out of my bedroom. Check

2. Crush empty cans for recycling Forgot

3. Put clean laundry away and dirty laundry into basket. Check

 

 

Wednesday

Goal #1 sleep.

1. Laptop never goes in bedroom. Check

2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom. Exception had to get up extra early so planned on using phone alarms. Set phone to airplane mode at 7:30 and left it there.

3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8. Checkish Examen ran a bit longer

4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed. Checkish asleep by 8:41

 

Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.

Had a lazy day. Been getting home really late with working an 1.5 hours late and extra traffic so just relaxed today.

 

Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.

1. Take shower Check

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Every day this week has been different and it is throwing off my ability to have a groove. Normally get off work at 3, but this week.

Monday, work 5 to 4:30

Tuesday, work 6 to 4:30

Wednesday, work 5: to 4:30

Thursday, work 4:30 to 4:30

Friday work?

 

I might get tomorrow off (I'll be well over 40 hours anyway), or I might work. I'll find out later today. This morning was extra early because I took a friend to the airport near where I work, so figured I might as well get going.

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Whisper - 

 

Good to see you staying in the fight with life.  As an umpteen hour workday survivor, I get the loss of circadian rhythm and overall problems with over work and burnout.   

 

Like Diadhuit, I'm a Roman Catholic and I've had some challenging, and a great experience with faith directors.  Getting right with God is something we all struggle with.  It has only taken me 20 and change years to start fighting on the righteous path again.  

 

My life is a lot more fail than win.  The primary thing I hang my hat on is keeping on trying again.  Seriously.  Simply showing up and trying has gotten me further than I ever imagined.  

 

Looking forward to following you.  I'm not here for the victories.  I'm here to support the struggle.

 

 - Murphy's Roommate

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Worked until nearly 5 last night (over 12 hours) and was really tired by the time I got off work. I overlooked the fundamental principle that a tired Whisper is a stupid Whisper, and did a lot of stupid yesterday evening. Needed to pick up a little bit of oil, so stopped at WalMart, got the oil, and got "fruity snacks" and chocolate covered cinnamon bears, which I have no ability to eat in moderation. Planned on going to bed quickly, so brought laptop to bed to finish something up in Township and finish watching a video on Youtube. Ended up not sleeping promptly, skipping Examen to watch video, mess around with the game, and eat crap until I felt sick, and woke up still feeling sick from all the crap.

 

Thinking about deleting Township from my laptop, and maybe just leaving the laptop at work this weekend. Yes, I am working today, another 10 hours if I'm lucky, closer to 12 if not.

 

Thursday

Goal #1 sleep.

1. Laptop never goes in bedroom. Fail

2. Phone gets turned all the way off at 7:30 and is charged outside of bedroom. Was in room, but messing with laptop not phone.

3. At 7:30, take night meds, brush/floss, then light reading until 8. Fail

4. 8 pm, lights out, eyes closed. Fail, asleep at 10:57

 

Goal #2 Finally finish sorting boxes and get my space better organized.

Nothing done.

 

Goal #3 Get back to making/using daily checklists. I don't want to make unmanageably big ones, but a few things to get done each day.

Got oil, nothing else from checklist.

 

I definitely have tomorrow off, but will be assisting with a funeral tomorrow late morning. I do not know the departed; I'll just be running the church's sound system. I need to make some major progress on my stuff this weekend, as better access to the storage room needs to be achieved by Sunday afternoon.

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Sounds like some more struggle.  Keep getting up. 

 

I tend to handle fatigue well, and I handle stress well professionally, but a stressed me makes bad personal health decisions.  All the bad personal health decisions.  

 

Looking forward to seeing what you do next!

 

 - Murphy's Roommate

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A wild update appears!

 

Weekend before last I succeeded in clearing my stuff out of the storage room at the place I'm renting and helped them get some sorting done in there. I've got a bunch of boxes packed into my closet right now that I still need to sort through, but it felt good to hit that milestone.

 

Last Thursday - Sunday I helped facilitate a Cursillo (Via de Cristo) Weekend with my church community.  As always seem to be the case, there were some hiccups along the way, and I felt really drained by the time it was over, but overall it was a really good opportunity to step out of myself and to grow in my Christian walk. 

 

I'm flying out for work Wednesday morning, but I'll try to do better keeping up with people here.

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A wild update appears!
 
Weekend before last I succeeded in clearing my stuff out of the storage room at the place I'm renting and helped them get some sorting done in there. I've got a bunch of boxes packed into my closet right now that I still need to sort through, but it felt good to hit that milestone.
 
Last Thursday - Sunday I helped facilitate a Cursillo (Via de Cristo) Weekend with my church community.  As always seem to be the case, there were some hiccups along the way, and I felt really drained by the time it was over, but overall it was a really good opportunity to step out of myself and to grow in my Christian walk. 
 
I'm flying out for work Wednesday morning, but I'll try to do better keeping up with people here.
That is a big milestone!!! from the storage place to few boxes you came a long way!!!

When you say drained, what do you mean? Mentally or other?

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On 10/2/2019 at 12:52 AM, Diadhuit said:

When you say drained, what do you mean? Mentally or other?

Physically and mentally. There's a lot of work and not much time for sleep. There is also a lot of interacting with people and putting myself outside my normal comfort zones and while I can do a fairly good job of acting in the role of extrovert, it takes a lot out of me.

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Physically and mentally. There's a lot of work and not much time for sleep. There is also a lot of interacting with people and putting myself outside my normal comfort zones and while I can do a fairly good job of acting in the role of extrovert, it takes a lot out of me.
This makes a lot of sense. I was worried that you were referring to be spiritually draining, my spiritual director always reccommends to see where energy is driving you, not sure if this helps?
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Tuesday, started filling a cold coming on. Picked up cold meds and got ready for my trip.

Wednesday, flew out to Maryland. Flying with a cold is not fun. While landing I couldn't get my ears to pop and everything was extremely muffled after. Right ear cleared up after a while, but left ear refused to.

Thursday, worked in our Maryland plant and modified the first machine, left ear still not clear.

Friday, modified the 2nd machine and flew back to Utah. Once up at cruising altitude my left ear finally cleared up, but clogged again during landing.

Saturday and Sunday I spent in bed. LOTS of sleeping. Ear still not clear.

Monday, back at work and feeling mostly better. Ear feels like it is starting to clear at long last.

 

Debating going to bell choir practice tonight. Need the practice, but also feeling wiped out from work. I do want to try and get by bedding washed tonight, including the cover for my new weighted blanket so I can try it out.

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22 hours ago, Whisper said:

Debating going to bell choir practice tonight. Need the practice, but also feeling wiped out from work. I do want to try and get by bedding washed tonight, including the cover for my new weighted blanket so I can try it out.

 

Got bedding washed and cover put on weighted blanket.

Went to bell choir -  it was good.

Slept with the new blanket; I think I'm in love!

 

After work today I'm helping a friend get some stuff taken care of, so probably won't get much of my stuff done. I have decided to challenge myself to stop doing anything in bed other than sleeping. This includes reading before bed. I'm hoping that it will help my sleep quality and actually falling asleep when I'm supposed to, rather than getting stuck doing stuff.

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5 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

Aren't weighted blankets just lovely?

They are! I tried a small one, which I liked but didn't really fit under. I just got a really big one and it is wonderful.

 

5 hours ago, NicTheRugger said:

And that's a great idea with using your bed just for sleeping! Creating good sleep hygiene is so important for a good night's rest. Keep up the good work!!

I've been working on gradually improving my sleep hygiene, it feels like the right time to take the next step, but it was a bit hard not even reading in bed before sleeping. I think long term it will be for the best, but it is going to take adjustment.

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I want a weighted blanket... 

And you have done really good with your sleep hygiene over the course of your previous challenges up until now! Great job. 

 

Geez everyone is getting sick right now ALL AROUND THE WORLD. crazy. A lot of people at my work are fighting colds too.  Is your ear cleared up?

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