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rx25YT4.jpg

 

Yes, the picture has changed, I may go into the reason why at some point....but don't be fooled

 

Ivy.jpg

 

I am STILL a badass ;) 

 

Quote

It's no secret I'm not a patient person. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is I didn't get this way overnight, and I can't fix it overnight. Fixing it takes consistency, building habits that will last, not just get me to the goal and then going back to what I was doing and losing all progress made. I've learned a whole lot about what DOESN'T work for me lately, I've also learned that I can't abuse my body the way I used to when I was younger, recovery takes too damn long now! :lol:

I've been following a couple podcasts, one is Not Your Average Runner, the other is Phit-N-Phat, NYAR talks about running at any size and age, realistically. She also stresses the importance of not quitting on yourself, habit rather than motivation, and other types of good stuff. Phit-N-Phat is a woman that lost over 100 lbs and kept it off 24 hours at a time. She's where I stole the line "I didn't die or get pregnant" from. She talks about being realistic, making a 24 hour plan and sticking to it, (if you're going to have 12 hershey's kisses for breakfast, put it on your plan! LOL) and a lot of don't follow a diet unless that's how you're really going to eat...make it sustainable. If you want to eat Paleo or Keto for the rest of your life, fine, but don't do it to get to a goal weight and then go back. Pay attention to how you feel, are you really hungry? Are you bored? Are you eating your feelings? A lot of other good stuff from her too but I'd be here all day and I do have to work at some point ;)

 

So the big goal is still this...

Lose 50 lbs (total) by October, 31st, that's 5 lbs a month

January - Done!

February - Done!

March - Done!

April - Done

May - Nope :(

June - Double Nope :( 

July - Nope Nope Nope :( 

August - Yes! :) 

 

The Plan....

Run: I'm following NYAR 10K training plan currently, so points for when I do what is scheduled (including rest days)

Eat: Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full.

Lazy: Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read. Sleep has been an issue lately so more of this

adventures: not an actual goal or on the plan (hence the little a) but I need more of these, less making excuses to not get out and enjoy life!

xamine: I've spent a lot of time 'navel gazing' lately...some of it has resulted in some interesting revelations. I want to continue this and finish a couple of 'self help' books I've been reading during this challenge.

 

On with the show!

 

Disclaimer, I'm a kinky lesbian in an open relationship. My threads used to have a tendency to get rather interesting (it's been years but I can hope it happens again :lol:) and I have had people unsubscribe because of that...

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

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Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Recap, week zero

 

I know I'm late with this...been battling what feels like it could be depression? Never been diagnosed so not really sure if that's what it is. Slowly getting back to me and we'll see where that takes me!

 

The Plan....

Run: I'm following NYAR 10K training plan currently, so points for when I do what is scheduled (including rest days) 6/7, missed my long run Saturday due to D's family surprised her

Eat: Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full. 6/7, I could have added the Maple Street Biscuit to my plan but didn't 

Lazy: Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read. Sleep has been an issue lately so more of this 5 days of this! :) 

adventures: not an actual goal or on the plan (hence the little a) but I need more of these, less making excuses to not get out and enjoy life! Pagan Pride was this week...so was hanging out with the cute woman I met there a couple times.

xamine: I've spent a lot of time 'navel gazing' lately...some of it has resulted in some interesting revelations. I want to continue this and finish a couple of 'self help' books I've been reading during this challenge. Just started reading this book it's free on kindle unlimited for those who may be interested :)  

  • Like 3

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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15 minutes ago, RES said:

Yes, the picture has changed, I may go into the reason why at some point....but don't be fooled

 

I am STILL a badass ;) 

Girl, being vulnerable does not mean you can't also be a badass. Anyone can put up a strong face and fake being ok, it's the badasses who drop the pretense and put it all on display. If nothing else, admitting, sharing and then rolling with the punches only makes you more  of a badass.

 

15 minutes ago, RES said:

Disclaimer, I'm a kinky lesbian in an open relationship. My threads used to have a tendency to get rather interesting (it's been years but I can hope it happens again :lol:)

It truly feels like this hasn't been the case for a long while and I bet your twin going MIA again isn't helping...

 

I'll bring the tequila, you bring the rest ;)

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Lvl 54 Multitasker

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13 minutes ago, RES said:

rx25YT4.jpg

 

 

I love this! I can definitely relate. I usually explain it to people as "I don't NEED a person or relationship. I am complete without one. But, I am like Doctor Who, I want a companion to go through life's adventures with, because it is more interesting than doing it alone."

 

I love your goals :)

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Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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6 minutes ago, DarK_RaideR said:

It truly feels like this hasn't been the case for a long while and I bet your twin going MIA again isn't helping...

 

I'll bring the tequila, you bring the rest ;)

Consider it a date ;)

 

6 minutes ago, Aquarii said:

I love this! I can definitely relate. I usually explain it to people as "I don't NEED a person or relationship. I am complete without one. But, I am like Doctor Who, I want a companion to go through life's adventures with, because it is more interesting than doing it alone."

EXACTLY!!

Well, and my hands get tired :lol: 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 6

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Hey Gorgeous glad to see you back again.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

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Where to find me: Current Challenge : Battle Log Facebook : Instagram :

"Each day, just focus on getting 1% better in whatever it is you're trying to improve. That's it. Just 1%." ArtofManliness Article.

"That which is wise and holy helps the health and wholeness of the chain of generations." D. R. Miller. 

"We do not rise to our expectations. We fall to our level of training." Archilochus

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1 hour ago, RES said:

Just started reading this book it's free on kindle unlimited for those who may be interested :)  

 

I'm really interested in that book in regards to jealousy in general. I understand that it's primarily focused on specific reasons for jealousy, but I'm interested in your take on it from all aspects of jealousy.

 

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11 hours ago, RES said:

EXACTLY!!

Well, and my hands get tired :lol: 

 

 

Might I suggest taking up guitar or piano? It does absolute wonders for hand dexterity and endurance ;)

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  • Haha 1

Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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21 hours ago, Thom Stépan said:

Hey Gorgeous glad to see you back again.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk
 

Hey handsome, happy to see you as well!

 

20 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Following along again.

Always happy to see you! 

 

20 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

I'm really interested in that book in regards to jealousy in general. I understand that it's primarily focused on specific reasons for jealousy, but I'm interested in your take on it from all aspects of jealousy.

 

It's been an interesting read, I'm about 1/3 of the way through so I'll recap it soon

 

16 hours ago, Mistr said:

I'm glad you survived Dorian with only minor scratches in your plan.

 

Yay for progress toward your goal weight and doing lots of fun things!

 

Don't relationships make life interesting? :wub:

Thank you

interesting is a good word..."and the understatement of the year award goes to... ;) " 

 

9 hours ago, Aquarii said:

 

Might I suggest taking up guitar or piano? It does absolute wonders for hand dexterity and endurance ;)

I actually have a guitar...someday I'll learn to play it...

  • Like 1

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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On 9/19/2019 at 10:46 AM, DarK_RaideR said:
On 9/17/2019 at 8:46 PM, Aquarii said:

It does absolute wonders for hand dexterity and endurance ;)

Seriously @RES? You just gonna let this one fly by like that?

:lol: Damn, I had a great response in my head, only works if I type it out I guess :rolleyes: guess my fingers were busy elsewhere ;)

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 3

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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On 9/21/2019 at 12:17 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Something something you'll go blind.

my eye doctor said I was when he saw my prescription ;) 

 

2 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

I hear such people's other senses do get a boost.

 

Might be worth it.

hmmm, might be, if only there were a way to test such a theory....for science of course :lol: 

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RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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4 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

I hear such people's other senses do get a boost.

 

Might be worth it.

 

This merits a very weird Google search...

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Chaotic-Neutral, Elven Bladesinger (Apprentice): Level 1

Current Stats: STR 11 || DEX 11 || CON 12 || INT 15 || WIS 15 || CHA 12

Goal Stats: STR 14 || DEX 17+ || CON 14 || INT 18+ || WIS 18+ || CHA 14

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily; to not dare is to lose one's self". - Søren Kierkegaard

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23 hours ago, Aquarii said:

 

This merits a very weird Google search...

Comparatively speaking...probably not that weird ;) 

 

21 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I think you just proved my point.

Probably :lol:

 

I've tried to update for week 1 about 10 times now and keep getting sidetracked

 

The Plan....

Run: I'm following NYAR 10K training plan currently, so points for when I do what is scheduled (including rest days) 6/7, didn't do Saturday because...well, I'll get into that later

Eat: Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full. 6/7, D and I were drinking Saturday and ordered pizza (not on plan, no regrets)

Lazy: Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read. Sleep has been an issue lately so more of this. 6 days of this! :) 

adventures: not an actual goal or on the plan (hence the little a) but I need more of these, less making excuses to not get out and enjoy lifePainting with pride on Saturday

xamine: I've spent a lot of time 'navel gazing' lately...some of it has resulted in some interesting revelations. I want to continue this and finish a couple of 'self help' books I've been reading during this challenge. Almost done with the jealousy book, it's getting a bit preachy and repetitious now

 

Recap...

First thing, the female half of the couple I've been seeing the last couple months decided I wasn't what she needed in an intimate partner, I'm fine, actually better than fine with this. 

D and I had a very good talk on the state of our relationship last 'date night' (Thursday) about what lead me to act the way I did, what we are going to do going forward...I think we are both at peace with this. One thing I have come to realize in the last several weeks since my jealous meltdown is I'm not poly...yes we have an agreement that we can see other people but I like the thought of knowing one person always has my back, I don't want to piece together a whole relationship like a puzzle...Two, three at most is all I am willing to do. I have D, who is now and forever will be my safe space, nesting partner, and spouse. I'm getting to know the cute gal from Pagan Pride, I may be open to one more than that but if not that's okay too...I'm happy with my life and my choices.

The thing I will get into later....for a while now I've been having a pain in my right side (when I say a while, I mean over a year) almost feels like when I was having gallbladder issues...well, I have no gallbladder now for it to be that. It's got me a little concerned just because of things it  could be...which it's probably not but I deal with enough chronic pain I don't need any more!

 

  • Like 4

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Yay for you and D having a good talk! It sounds like your relationship has improved by leaps and bounds over the last several months.

 

Poly can mean different things. I've been in a poly relationship with a primary partner for a long time. There have been several secondary relationships over that stretch. Some were just his, some were both of us involved with the same person. In one case I kept a secondary relationship going for a while after he broke it off. An outside observer would be likely to assume that we are a traditional heterosexual monogamous couple. So totally wrong, but easy to assume. The main reason I haven't pursued a secondary relationship is that just figuring out what people mean by poly and what they want in a relationship is a lot of work.

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Level 71  Viking paladin

My current challenge  Battle log 

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On 9/24/2019 at 11:16 AM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I hope that pain gets sorted soon.

You and me both...got to a point that it was affecting several aspects of my life and I didn't care for that

My trainer did tell me I need to break the habit of dealing with things over a year before addressing them LOL

 

1 hour ago, Mistr said:

Yay for you and D having a good talk! It sounds like your relationship has improved by leaps and bounds over the last several months.

 

Poly can mean different things. I've been in a poly relationship with a primary partner for a long time. There have been several secondary relationships over that stretch. Some were just his, some were both of us involved with the same person. In one case I kept a secondary relationship going for a while after he broke it off. An outside observer would be likely to assume that we are a traditional heterosexual monogamous couple. So totally wrong, but easy to assume. The main reason I haven't pursued a secondary relationship is that just figuring out what people mean by poly and what they want in a relationship is a lot of work.

I guess what I would want ideally since she doesn't want to close it to just us again is more of a closed poly relationship? One or at most two secondary but I don't have the time or energy to date or maintain multiple relationships on the level some people in this community do!

 

  • Like 1

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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This is becoming a habit...week 2 recap LOL

 

The Plan....

Run: I'm following NYAR 10K training plan currently, so points for when I do what is scheduled (including rest days) 7/7

Eat: Continue making the 24 hour plan, eat on plan when hungry, stop when full. 7/7

Lazy: Three times a week (at least) take time for me, this can be journaling, crocheting, or time to read. Sleep has been an issue lately so more of this. 3 days of this! Was a bit of a crazy week

adventures: not an actual goal or on the plan (hence the little a) but I need more of these, less making excuses to not get out and enjoy lifeNot this week

xamine: I've spent a lot of time 'navel gazing' lately...some of it has resulted in some interesting revelations. I want to continue this and finish a couple of 'self help' books I've been reading during this challenge: Finished the jealousy book, moved on to "Awaken the Giant Within" 

 

Was a decent week, ran my 5k (okay, didn't run all of it but did set a new PR), got news that the ultrasound on my side was unclear and they need to do a CT...does nothing for my anxiety levels I can assure you.

This weekend is pride, I can't wait till that's over! I'm having a hard time trying to not hermit myself...

Going to get a haircut, maybe that will help

 

  • Like 5

RES...and I want to live days worth dying for

Current: RES: Still in the Struggle

Spoiler

Really Eclectic Scorpio, Level 79 |1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|

My Character Page | Tracking Spreadsheet | My Blog |

Growth happens when you care more about the well being of your future self than the comfort of your present self!

"Pass on what you have learned. Strength, mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The greatest teacher, failure is." -Yoda

 

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Yay on the PB for the 5k run.

Sent from my CPH1725 using Tapatalk

  • Like 1

Where to find me: Current Challenge : Battle Log Facebook : Instagram :

"Each day, just focus on getting 1% better in whatever it is you're trying to improve. That's it. Just 1%." ArtofManliness Article.

"That which is wise and holy helps the health and wholeness of the chain of generations." D. R. Miller. 

"We do not rise to our expectations. We fall to our level of training." Archilochus

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