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Salinger

Salinger's twenty sixth challenge!

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28 minutes ago, TGP said:

ok. wow, I hear the difference.

wonderful.

 

glad to hear that those feelings are past.  

 

I'm not sure i have advise, per se.

but you've already done some awesome things.

 

is there a date when you get a new chunk of money and the rent is resolved? 

 

 

Self harming thoughts still around, in the background. But i dont think i will, i have techniques to cope. 

 

6th November i get some money....so im holding on. A couple of people have donated to this for me...  https://www.ko-fi.com/lizzbrady I appreciate the support. 

 

Gives me something to fight for. If people think im worth it....which sounds stupid i know. But the work i do, if its not being supported, its demoralising. 

 

Anyway. Thanks again Jason <3 xx

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aww

 

that's sad. :(

I'm sorry.  you need to preserve your mental health.

 

collect up a little and work it out.  can friends help?

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but MOSTLY

please be Well

 

this is hard thing and your feelings were already frazzled

 

no Self-harm! got it?

 

it will be OKK

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and as a follow up question

what about your dad?

 

can he help?

 

I'm really worried about you.  I guess this stu guy is kind of a landlord too? ( I thought he WAS a room-mate)

missed that.

 

you said earlier he wanted to talk and that he was all putting it off

I guess the hints that this was coming was there.

 

I know you know now; but you really cannot use payday loans.  they will ruin you whole life.

 

even now; you need to make sure you don't fall into desperation that might make things worse.

 

the hard thing is that when you are SO stressed you really do need to make good decisions at this point.

if there is ANYWAY to describe things well enough; we'll do everything we can to help.

 

PS.... please PLEASE quite worrying about your dad IF YOU CAN.  

I know your very worried of him- but your going through so much right now.  you need to handle things One Thing at a time when things are hard.

Only the Next 5 feet! (if you see my analogy)...

 

not being too heavy (you can't fix that in this moment) or his health. 

 

Don't heap the badnews on top of each other.

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Friends dont have spare rooms. And my mental health is too awful to sofa surf.... im trying not to be in this pit of despair. Everything feels pointless. 

 

1 minute ago, TGP said:

 

I'm really worried about you.  I guess this stu guy is kind of a landlord too? ( I thought he WAS a room-mate)

missed that.

 

 

Yeah he is the landlord. He owns the house xx

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Just now, Salinger said:

Please dont worry Jason, im sure it will be ok. Just right now its very very bad, mentally. I should eat something maybe? x

ha!

 

don't be worrying about me

I am fine.

 

I want you to keep talking to me and keeping your head above water.

 

eating is good, but the lack of answers will fester if we can't work it out.

 

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in fact

I wish we could chat.

this is a moment I think where we need to talk

 

I don't know if I can help, but I sure want to try

 

 

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https://www.bbc.com/news/business-44041999

per UK law 

 

you have rights for 84days of notice (provided you have been there more than 6months or longer)

 

you also have legals rights to a deposit; espacially providing that you have caused no damage to the property.

that Exception has been tricky for every place I've ever rented.  Landowners (here in PA) hate to give up the deposit.

 

if he gives Eviction notice (which I'm sure he has), do NOT give him any more money.

you will need to money to hop into something else.

---

no we have to work this out.

 

can you just hold on 84days worth of days to earn income and sit on the property while you get enough resources to move to a new place?

 

this is a potentially different choice than bailing to your dad.

 

you tell stu; "fine, but you gotta wait 84days for me to find something"

 

he won't like that!

 

.....

tough!  rule#1

YOU do what it takes to Survive!

 

how important is it to stay in manchester?

how much is typical rent compared to what you normally pay??

 

lots of questions

 

please continue to talk to me as you are able to

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13 minutes ago, TGP said:

in fact

I wish we could chat.

this is a moment I think where we need to talk

 

I don't know if I can help, but I sure want to try

 

 

 

MY friend just said she wants to move out of her place.... and do i want to look with her for a two bedroom place.............. x

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2 minutes ago, TGP said:

 

 

how important is it to stay in manchester?

how much is typical rent compared to what you normally pay??

 

lots of questions

 

please continue to talk to me as you are able to

 

I need to stay in Manchester i think. All my friends are here or London. (london far too expensive) 

 

Thanks Jason. xx

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16 minutes ago, TGP said:

oh YAY!

wonderful!!

 

I retract my questions ;)

 

 

 

im unsure what to do.... in some ways it should be fine...in other ways im not sure ? Shes younger than me...not that that means much but maybe wants parties alot?

 

BUt it would prob be fine for a while. I could go onto the list for a council house maybe (be like 6/8 months i think, maybe even a year) oh now i have to decide. 

 

x

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well, ok

maybe its NOT as easy of a question as I thought?

 

keep in mind though it can be very expensive to move.   with a friend to help you make that investment, things can happen quicker.  ofc you have to think clearly about what it would be like to live with that person. so I understand

 

Now it seems to me that You can stay tight in stu's place for some time. 

but he WILL put pressure on you to leave.

no matter how cordial your relationship with him has been; this isn't a good time for that relationship.  he wants you out because he's decided he can't trust you.

(personally- this seems a Douche thing to ME.  he knows you struggle with some mental illness; and that can find it hard to find money from time to time.  instead; a gently said text to remind you of the rent would have been best for both of you)

 

----

Anyways. enough of that.

if this was ME , I'd grab a lot of tea and get a bath and do some art /listen to music/ whatever

 

you need to thoroughly allow the crisis in your mind to pass before you make any firm plans

 

I've asked a lot of questions and grilled you in the hopes that I could help your think through things; but at the moment its not as bad as it was

 

you have options. you have time.

 

and it is , what 7pm

what a hard day it has been,  right? and yesterday was clearly a nightmere as well.

 

I'm sure your hungry.

 

eat as good as you can and Don't beat yourself up if that isn't extremely healthy.

This has been a hard day; Please allow yourself to eat something easy without alot of guilt.

 

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Hey Jason, i ate pasta salad. With a glass of water. Then cried a lot. 

 

I think ill just look for a place with my friend... maybe we can go for a coffee this week and look together? 

 

I feel desperately sad. But not as panic ridden/sick as i did earlier. x

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ok.  then I am Half happy for you.

 

I do think going in with your friend makes a lot of sense.

and... I'll quit worrying about you.

;)

<3

 

PPPS?

I Sincerely apologize for people trying to come up to speed in this thread.

this is WHY its hard to chat in this kind of forum.

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3 hours ago, Salinger said:

Ste text me, wants me to move out. 

 

s h i t t i c k e t s

 

I am so so so so sorry.  This is the worst news...

 

52 minutes ago, TGP said:

he wants you out because he's decided he can't trust you.

 

I think this may be jumping the gun a bit - rent issues notwithstanding he may have other reasons for his actions.  Maybe he wants another friend to move in.  Maybe he's going to sell the property.  Maybe he wants to use the spare room for himself?  Has he gone over his reasonings, or have you had time to talk calmly about moving forward from here?

 

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that he's of course viewing this situation as a landlord, and it's purely business.  I don't think it's douchey at all for him to make this decision.  Yeah, it sucks, but it's also his livelihood, in a way.  I can only hope he's given you enough time and explanation for everything.

 

48 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I think ill just look for a place with my friend... maybe we can go for a coffee this week and look together? 

 

I feel desperately sad. But not as panic ridden/sick as i did earlier. x

 

This sounds like a great idea~

 

Deep breaths.  Sad is ok.  Let it manifest and be because it's a real valid emotion right now, and you deserve to feel these feelings, shitty as they may be.  The sooner you acknowledge and honor your sadness the sooner it will let you go.

 

We love you, and you're stronger than you think. <3333333

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Holy crap. I don't even know what to say. Reading through this was... emotional. 

 

Jason, you are really a blessing (hope you don't mind me using your name). 

 

Liz, take care of yourself. Bath, good food and early rest sounds really reasonable right now. The only advice from me (based on my own experience - your results may vary) would be - do something mundane, but productive. Let it be something small (arrange books on a shelf, put away laundry etc), but it will make you feel at least tiny bit better with yourself. You will prove to yourself that even in such mess you still have some control over your life. And by being mundane, it will anchor you in reality, not allowing to get lost in thoughts and nightmares. 

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18 minutes ago, shaar said:

 

s h i t t i c k e t s

 

I am so so so so sorry.  This is the worst news...

 

 

I think this may be jumping the gun a bit - rent issues notwithstanding he may have other reasons for his actions.  Maybe he wants another friend to move in.  Maybe he's going to sell the property.  Maybe he wants to use the spare room for himself?  Has he gone over his reasonings, or have you had time to talk calmly about moving forward from here?

 

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that he's of course viewing this situation as a landlord, and it's purely business.  I don't think it's douchey at all for him to make this decision.  Yeah, it sucks, but it's also his livelihood, in a way.  I can only hope he's given you enough time and explanation for everything.

 

 

This sounds like a great idea~

 

Deep breaths.  Sad is ok.  Let it manifest and be because it's a real valid emotion right now, and you deserve to feel these feelings, shitty as they may be.  The sooner you acknowledge and honor your sadness the sooner it will let you go.

 

We love you, and you're stronger than you think. <3333333

 

Thank you Shaar. He says he wants to live alone moving forward. He also said i can come round to see him and Jules when i like. So he isnt being cruel or a dick to me. 

 

Oh god here come the tears again. I feel like a horrible, awful person. Twice now, three times even, ive had to move .... people must not like living with me. Maybe cos i work from home? Ugh. Im trying not to take it so personally but its hard. Its like he has beat me up. 

 

Thanks for saying i can be sad. <3 thank you. 

 

5 minutes ago, aramis said:

Holy crap. I don't even know what to say. Reading through this was... emotional. 

 

Jason, you are really a blessing (hope you don't mind me using your name). 

 

Liz, take care of yourself. Bath, good food and early rest sounds really reasonable right now. The only advice from me (based on my own experience - your results may vary) would be - do something mundane, but productive. Let it be something small (arrange books on a shelf, put away laundry etc), but it will make you feel at least tiny bit better with yourself. You will prove to yourself that even in such mess you still have some control over your life. And by being mundane, it will anchor you in reality, not allowing to get lost in thoughts and nightmares. 

 

Thanks Aramis. Yes ... i can imagine. !

 

Thanks a lot good advice. I just had a bath, and i had some pasta salad and im sat on my bed with Jackson with music on. God ill be sad to leave this place :(  

 

xxx

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14 minutes ago, Salinger said:

 

Thank you Shaar. He says he wants to live alone moving forward. He also said i can come round to see him and Jules when i like. So he isnt being cruel or a dick to me. 

 

 

If another perspective helps you at all, I can maybe understand how he feels.  I co-habitated with others since I left home at 21, and after so many years I -get it-; I love my own space now. I'm glad he was able to give you his reasoning.  

 

Please don't think less of yourself; it happens.  A fundamental thing about people is that they change, and that's not a bad thing.  What someone thinks they wanted a year ago can be very different from today, and even a year from now. It's terrifying when things like this happen because there are so many unknowns - hey this was me last year! - but at the same time please don't forget that also, when things like this happen, so many doors open and your options can be limitless, new, and exciting.

 

It's ok to cry.  It's healthy. Let it out girl, then get on to amazing things~ <3

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49 minutes ago, shaar said:

Sad is ok.  Let it manifest and be because it's a real valid emotion right now, and The sooner you acknowledge and honor your sadness the sooner it will let you go.

 

We love you, and you're stronger than you think. <3333333

 

this is where, shaar's superior wisdom is much better than my own.  (it was very wonderfully expressed).

 

I do Understand that feelings have to come out and that pushed back inside can be very bad and dangerous;

but at the same time they tend to build in intensity and say, No so true, things that can badly damage our confidence, courage and conviction.

 

so speaking Very personally now, MY problem  (with feelings) is that they seem corrosive inside AND outside.

like a Knife that cuts either way.

since I have an instinctive fear of sharp things- I tend to bury deep feelings and put my head down and just push on (and on and on).

 

so...

I appreciate all your friends  that bring out such good advice.

 

just know that... I don't think you're horribly hard to live with.  Like me misjudging stu; I think this is a bad interpretation of you.

 

but I certainly agree that it has been a hard experience.

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Thank you Jason <3

 

_______

 

Morning . its 8.20am. I got up cos i felt i SHOULD. Sometimes i feel guilty lying in bed. Although i was comfy and warm. Now im cold. But ill make some breakfast soon. 

 

Im waiting for that girl to message me back, about going for a coffee to chat about finding some place together. Maybe we could meet later today. If she isnt working. 

 

One bad scary thing is - a lot a landlords (A LOT) dont accept people on benefits. Even though its disability benefits i am on (mental health stuff) discrimination in my eyes but there isnt any law on it so.... people are idiots. 

 

This week ive done barely ANYTHING. Well i havent done a thing. No work really. Obviously its been a pretty fucking awful few days, im not berating myself just being honest. I need to get flea tablets for Jackson as he is due them. Maybe ill go get them from the vets today. Thats one thing crossed off the list. 

 

I think of things to do though, and i want to cry. Lie down, curl up, cry. I know its because my depression is bad right now :(  but it will pass. Im sure. Ive been through it before. x

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