Zaethe: Shieldmaiden's Saga [Ch.01]

[Pherales]

29 minutes ago, Whisper said:

I struggle with binge eating too. Particularly in bed. (What is up with that?)

 

Trying to train myself not to eat in bed at all, and while I don't say that I "can't have" anything, there are some things I'm learning  not to buy more of than I am comfortable eating in a single sittings, 'cause I will end up eating it all at once.

 

I've actually had less issues with binge eating for a while, it's been great.  The source of the problem seems to be not taking my meds, which leads me to believe that my binge eating issues have some major emotional roots.  Not exactly a eureka moment, but useful to know!

 

I think the thing with binge eating and bed, for me at least, is the comfort thing.  Comfort eating in a comfort place, double safety!

[Pherales]

I feel a hundred times better emotionally having taken my meds.  Now to actually remember this, so I don't go through the nonsense again.

[fleaball]

It is wayyyy too easy to just forget to do things that you know make you feel better. I would like a word with whoever designed brains and left them with such flaws. 

[Wobbegong]

14 hours ago, Whisper said:

I struggle with binge eating too. Particularly in bed. (What is up with that?)

 

Trying to train myself not to eat in bed at all, and while I don't say that I "can't have" anything, there are some things I'm learning  not to buy more of than I am comfortable eating in a single sittings, 'cause I will end up eating it all at once.

Same! I'm really lucky that my current bed situation is basically a mat on the floor, so it somehow doesn't seem to occur to me that it's a place for eating of any kind. I've never eaten anything in my futon. But I also now never sit in chairs at home, always opting for the floor instead, and that's kind of a weird and unexpected side-effect. I have chairs.

 

Regarding not buying more that you're comfortable eating at once, that's actually a great suggestion. In the store I'd be the type to say "but THIS time I won't overeat, so it's fine!" and buy too much, but eventually after going through that conversation a few times I'd remind myself that I didn't stop the last however-many times, and maybe to just try buying less this go-round. Habits like that can build slowly, but with consistency they do eventually begin to build.

 

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

It is wayyyy too easy to just forget to do things that you know make you feel better. I would like a word with whoever designed brains and left them with such flaws. 

Or to rationalize it away as "skipping it won't make that much of a difference this one time" (only to have that 'one time' blossom into a long-standing tradition of not doing the thing), or "it's too hard to get started right now, so I'll do it later," only for 'later' to never come.

 

Looking at you, regular exercise and light therapy. I'm sure we all have a few things that qualify on that list.

[Pherales]

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

 I would like a word with whoever designed brains and left them with such flaws. 

 

Meeeeee too.  Whoever that was, I hope they've been fired.  Terrible workmanship.

[Pherales]

The emotional difference between yesterday and today has been a complete 180.  One of those, I didn't realise how bad things were until they weren't bad anymore, times.  Got myself out of the house and feeling pretty good, drank my water, ate twice, all of the things.  Mad how much of a difference my meds make.

[Bean Sidhe]

On 11/1/2019 at 11:22 AM, Zaethe said:

*Hugs*  I know, the stories aren't exactly the same but we both have aspects we can relate to.  If you ever want a shoulder just to vent, I listen well and am good at not forcing unsolicited advice on people  

 

For what it's worth, knowing how hard going through that was for me, you're doing an amazing job of handling everything the universe is throwing at you.

 

Thanks I will remember that. I also hope you don't take it as insult if I don't touch base with you either. I am always afraid I am bothering people and most days I just feel like anything I say to ANYONE will only make their lives harder and its not fair of me to put that on other people.

Thank you for saying the last bit. Honestly, I am really not in a good headspace and pretty sure  I am making a great bloody mess of this and pulling everyone around down with me.

[Bean Sidhe]

14 hours ago, fleaball said:

It is wayyyy too easy to just forget to do things that you know make you feel better. I would like a word with whoever designed brains and left them with such flaws. 

 

THIS... ALL OF THIS... I mean it can be something as easy as taking your meds or remembering to eat or exercise or light therapy or going to bed on time but whoever designed the brain I swear they left some serious glitches in them.

[Pherales]

1 hour ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

Thanks I will remember that. I also hope you don't take it as insult if I don't touch base with you either. I am always afraid I am bothering people and most days I just feel like anything I say to ANYONE will only make their lives harder and its not fair of me to put that on other people.

Thank you for saying the last bit. Honestly, I am really not in a good headspace and pretty sure  I am making a great bloody mess of this and pulling everyone around down with me.

 

Nope, it's all good.  It's an open offer, no obligation required  

[Pherales]

Well, on one hand, I managed to only get 5 hours of sleep.

 

On the other hand, I'm up early enough that I actually had breakfast!  At breakfast time!

 

[fitnessgurl]

On 10/22/2019 at 8:57 AM, Zaethe said:

 

Haha you would love my tea cupboard.  I think at last count I'm stocked in about 9 different types of tea for all occasions.  It's more of a habit I need to break I think.  Honestly it could just be an addiction I haven't noticed.  Either way I've always found my best approach to those things to just be to cut them out cold turkey.

 

But now I'm going to make myself a nice cup of tea  

Huge tea fan here...well technically some are infusions because they're herbal but everyone in the U.S. calls them tea. But YUM! Do you have a favorite?

[fitnessgurl]

 Having read through your thread...I have to ask: have you told your doctor about all the stress you still have inside you? I'm asking because (speaking from personal experience) stress takes an incredible physical as well as mental toll on your body. 

 

Not eating properly or being improperly hydrated can lead to anxiety or hanger (angry because you are hungry).

 

If you want more info about it or want to know what I went through; feel free to pm me.

 

Cheering you on towards wellness!

[Pherales]

3 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

Huge tea fan here...well technically some are infusions because they're herbal but everyone in the U.S. calls them tea. But YUM! Do you have a favorite?

 

Tea, I'm an Earl Grey girl.  Herbals, I got some pineapple and peach infusions a few weeks ago that have completely replaced my soda intake, and are sweet enough that they don't need anything extra added to them.

 

3 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

 Having read through your thread...I have to ask: have you told your doctor about all the stress you still have inside you? I'm asking because (speaking from personal experience) stress takes an incredible physical as well as mental toll on your body. 

 

Not eating properly or being improperly hydrated can lead to anxiety or hanger (angry because you are hungry).

 

If you want more info about it or want to know what I went through; feel free to pm me.

 

Cheering you on towards wellness!

 

My doctor is aware, yeah.  I manage stress just fine, it's dealing with the not managing stress that tends to cause issues.  I seem to thrive under pressure.

 

The anxiety is diagnosed general anxiety disorder, to match with the borderline personality disorder.  But I don't get angry, really at all.  When I take my meds I'm a generally cheerful, average person.  When I don't I don't realise I've fallen off the deep end til I'm treading water.  Pretty much this entire challenge so far, haven't been taking my meds.  

 

Thanks  

[fitnessgurl]

That's a rough place to be. Maybe make tracking your meds a Hard Hat challenge for 30 days? Steve K. did an article about it. Not sure if you've read it. I had to do it for tracking pain meds at one point.

[Pherales]

On 11/3/2019 at 9:25 PM, fitnessgurl said:

That's a rough place to be. Maybe make tracking your meds a Hard Hat challenge for 30 days? Steve K. did an article about it. Not sure if you've read it. I had to do it for tracking pain meds at one point.

 

I usually remember pretty well, a few months ago I was in hospital for a few weeks and everything has been upside down ever since, I'm having to work at getting back into a schedule.  Making it a challenge isn't a terrible idea for sure, I gotta get it sorted somehow!

[Pherales]

Stinkin' migraine all day, done barely anything except try to sleep it off.  Head is still killing me, but I've been slacking on updating here so I wanted to at least get a little something down.

[fitnessgurl]

51 minutes ago, Zaethe said:

Stinkin' migraine all day, done barely anything except try to sleep it off.  Head is still killing me, but I've been slacking on updating here so I wanted to at least get a little something down.

I hear ya. Migraines are horrible. The only thing that works for me is MigraSoothe.

[Pherales]

53 minutes ago, fitnessgurl said:

I hear ya. Migraines are horrible. The only thing that works for me is MigraSoothe.

 

Caffeine helps sometimes, but today's one is stubborn, and has made a reappearance tonight, only I can't find a comfortable enough space to relax and take the weight off my skull to rest properly.  Yay

[fitnessgurl]

15 minutes ago, Zaethe said:

 

Caffeine helps sometimes, but today's one is stubborn, and has made a reappearance tonight, only I can't find a comfortable enough space to relax and take the weight off my skull to rest properly.  Yay

Ugh! That stinks. Sometimes gently rubbing my scalp helps. Maybe it will help you?

Hope you feel better soon.

[Pherales]

Better, after about 11 hours of sleep.  Joints aren't too happy about that, but nothing that isn't manageable.  I'm actually quite pleased that I've caught up on some rest I was lacking, so there's my silver lining.  Got some fresh air, haven't eaten yet which I'm just starting to notice now, not enough water.  Big surprise.  Time to go chug some more in a half hearted attempt to catch up

[Whisper]

Happy you're doing a bit better at least. Sometimes our bodies need a good +10 hours rest, and given all you've been through recently, it doesn't surprise me. Good luck catching up on water.

[fitnessgurl]

Glad you're feeling better!

[Pherales]

Payday, which of course means I'm broke already.  I'm recouping after some big bills, but I'm on top of pretty much everything and only barely in the red, so I'm okay with this.  Picked up my cane today, I've been needing one for a while and the pharmacy had this one on hold for me for about four weeks bless them.  It's pink and blue, with cherry blossoms on it.  Very happy me.

 

 

[fitnessgurl]

4 hours ago, Zaethe said:

Payday, which of course means I'm broke already.  I'm recouping after some big bills, but I'm on top of pretty much everything and only barely in the red, so I'm okay with this.  Picked up my cane today, I've been needing one for a while and the pharmacy had this one on hold for me for about four weeks bless them.  It's pink and blue, with cherry blossoms on it.  Very happy me.

 

 

What a pretty cane! 

You're making progress & that's a good thing. Remember to count those wins!

[Whisper]

"I may not be living the best version of my life, but I'm gonna be damn cute regardless."

 

I love that attitude! Nice of the pharmacy to hold onto it for you.