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Terah - Everything is a lie!


Terah

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I've been away from NF for so long. I really needed to sort myself out. Don't get me wrong: I love you guys and I have missed you <3

I used to be with the Druids, but it's time for me to step out of my shell, and become what I truely am: An Assassin

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I always sorted my challenges in diet, fitness and life. I think I'll stick to those cathegories once more. I will tell you where I started, what I've realized in the last months I've been away and what I'm planning on doing this challenge.

 

Diet

Diet culture is a lie. I've been on diets since I was 8, and I'm still overweight (yes, that rhymes :p ). I've been trying and trying, before NF, during my time on NF. All it led me to do is enter the diet/binge cycle. 

Basically I didn't like what I saw in the mirror/on the scale. Decided on going on a diet, searching the interwebs for the latest craze. Ended up only eating fruit and veg. Not eating at all for two days straight. Going as low as 1200 kcal a day (my TDEE is around 2300 to give you an idea), or even just 500. I've put my body through so much, and to what end? Than I felt really bad (obviously), I got digestive issues, felt really weak, didn't sleep well, got cranky and all other kinds of weird (and sometimes gross) side effects of those diets. So I ended the diet and my body grabbed this opportunity to let me binge ALL THE THINGS. The more processed the better. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I wasn't strong enough, so I tried again and again.

I started to realize this a few months ago and hopped on the Intuitive Eating wagon. Which ended to be a diet too, ending in binges. Although it took so much longer before the binge started.

After a lot of soul searching, reading books and watching youtube video's I came to the conclusion that diet culture is a lie. A big nasty lie to sell stuff to desperate people. Whether it be books or supplements or to gain add income. I decided not to fall for it anymore.

Also I came to the conclusion that there is nothing wrong with me. My body is doing what it's supposed to do: binges after restrictions are normal. And during those binges I ate mostly processed foods.

I also realized that I needed to learn to really listen to my body. And processed foods are not going to help me with that. It's like learning an instrument while the whole orchestra is already playing. Eventually I'll be able to hear myself through all the other noise, but I need to learn to listen to my own sound first. 

So that means: focus on whole foods. Really notice how they make me feel. And not all whole foods are going to make me feel good (eggs are still a no, as they trigger a mild allergic reaction for example). Processed foods once in a while are totally okay, but I do need to realize that they will f*ck with my hunger cues and listen extra carefully during that.

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Fitness

A workout doesn't count if it takes less than 45 minutes and doesn't leave me sore and sweaty, right? WRONG! 

Feeling sore and extremely tired after each workout is not okay. Off course, if you just start a new routine, some soreness is to be expected, but it shouldn't last.

I was training way too hard, too long. And as a result I was so sore and tired I didn't want to workout anymore. And some days I won't feel all energized and ready to crush those weights. It's okay to do a lighter workout during those days. It's okay not to go to the max every single time.

So I bought myself a starter workout program. It's simple, fast and doesn't leave me feeling dead in the end. I'm still able to do all my stuff during they day. And now I'm actually looking forward to working out. How about that?

I also dance twice a week for two hours, and used to feel so guilty when I missed an evening. But I started looking around during dance class, and most people there don't make it every class (except for a few really hard core galls). I don't strive to be an excellent dancer, I don't want to perform every chance I got. I just want to have fun. And if that means skipping a class, or going for one hour instead of two, that's okay. 

So this challenge I'll continue te starter workout program (about 20-30 minutes 4 times a day, at home), and go dancing to have fun and for no other reason!

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Life

I want to be more productive. Get more done, be more awesome. But every time I expand my todo list, try to get more done I retreat in a corner of the internet only to come out when I HAVE TO do stuff. So here too: I have to me more gentle towards myself.

My goal for this challenge: get on top of housekeeping again.

My business is running smoothly, my boys are doing great. This is the only thing that keeps falling through the cracks.

Whenever I'm falling behind, my go to is laundry. It's like the stepping stone to all other chores. 

So I'm going to do a load of laundry every day, including folding and putting it away.

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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Assassin life, yes! :)

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Raptron, alot assassin

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1 hour ago, deftona said:

Hello again my love, I'm very glad to see you here again so I am of course following!

Yay!

 

1 hour ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Welcome back!

Thank you :) 

 

1 hour ago, WhiteGhost said:

Following you over to this thread :) 

Cool :) 

 

23 minutes ago, raptron said:

Assassin life, yes! :)

Totally! It seems to fit me better than Druid life :D  

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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12 minutes ago, Tobbe said:

Looking forward to following your challenge thread :) Welcome back!

Thank you! 

I was looking for your thread, but couldn't find it. Do you have a link for me?

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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Update time!

 

I've been on my new workout program for nearly 6 weeks now. The first thing I noticed was no more backpain. Now I'm starting to see my biceps coming  through, which is pretty cool :D

 

Today my mom came and spent the day with me and the boys. We did lots of games and she read to them for like an hour >< Which all three of them loved and it gave me time to do some house keeping and get a little bit of work done.

 

And because it's Tuesday there was zumba and Dancehall class! We actually moves to a new dance studio. The preveous one was a small room in the attic of a fastfood place. Now we're in an old building that was previously owned by the cultural center of this city and has an amazing big and beautiful dance room. I had a really good workout. The dance we're practicing now is so hard, but I'm starting to get it.

 

Next Saterday my dance teacher is hosting a zumba Halloween party. His parties are always lots of fun, but I've never been to a Halloween party (it's not really a thing in the Netherlands), and I hate all things horror. So I'm a bit nervous about it.

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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14 hours ago, Terah said:

and I hate all things horror. So I'm a bit nervous about it.

I was thinking about this, and realized that I have never associated Halloween with horror.  In my mind it is all about fun and candy, and the macabre side to it is more lighthearted than actually scary.

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8 hours ago, WhiteGhost said:

I was thinking about this, and realized that I have never associated Halloween with horror.  In my mind it is all about fun and candy, and the macabre side to it is more lighthearted than actually scary.

 

8 hours ago, Tobbe said:

 

Definitely same here!

I hope you guys are right! 

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Spoiler

 

Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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On 10/22/2019 at 2:36 PM, Terah said:

Diet

Diet culture is a lie.

 

Amen! Book

 

On 10/22/2019 at 2:36 PM, Terah said:

I started to realize this a few months ago and hopped on the Intuitive Eating wagon. Which ended to be a diet too, ending in binges.

 

Sorry to hear that. I'm still a firm believer in Intuitive Eating. Just got this email from Isabel Foxen Duke

 

 

It’s clear in retrospect that I highly underestimated the amount of food I really needed in my early days of Intuitive Eating.o?ih=P_P_s_UVZ_rU_6kDRE_Nwo_6TnDpb_v1p9o

This is likely because diet-mentality (especially the "hunger & fullness diet") got in the way of my trusting my natural instincts around food.

For instance, if I didn’t feel a “growl” in my stomach or other physical sensations that I personally labeled hunger, I would put that urge into the “emotional eating” category.

The reality, however, is that I may have been experiencing signs of appetite…which is simply a "drive to eat," that may or may not accompany specific physical sensations in the body.

Thinking about food is often the first sign of physical hunger we experience,

which is why trying to draw a narrow line between “emotional eating” and “eating for hunger” is actually more complicated (and less reliable) than you might think.

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11 hours ago, Tobbe said:

trying to draw a narrow line between “emotional eating” and “eating for hunger” is actually more complicated (and less reliable) than you might think.

Thank you for sharing. This is so true. 

I also still have trouble not labeling foods as good or bad, but I'm aware of it, and that's a first step :)

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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Following! All of your goals sound fun, i.e. fun as in there is a high chance they will help with things running more smoothly. :) (My definitions of fun are sometimes quite boring, but I Do get really giddy about efficiency methods that work.)

 

Definitely not asking this to judge, just to gain a perspective: how many liters (or w/e measuring method you use where you live) is your washing machine?

I have a pretty big one at home, so the concept of one laundry load a day makes me go O_O 

(Although, since laundry is a chore, no matter the size it's a pretty big accomplishment to keep it up every day. And in any case it will save loads (ha) of time in the weekend!)

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3 hours ago, analoggirl said:

fun as in there is a high chance they will help with things running more smoothly.

Definitely my defenition of fun too :D

 

3 hours ago, analoggirl said:

how many liters (or w/e measuring method you use where you live) is your washing machine?

Ours has a 6 liter capacity. I have aproximately 3 loads of clothing, 3or4 towels/table cloths/dish rags and such and 2 loads of bed stuff every week (more if my youngest decides its time to wet the bed again :p  )

 

I used to have a bigger machine, but the washing machines kept breaking down on me. Preferably right after the warranty had ended (and once just before, but that store had gone bankrupt, so we were screwed then too). So I really wanted a high end one, but those are exensive. The smaller ones were a little less exensive, so that's what we did.

 

My point: two little boys make a lot of laundry ;)

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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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6 hours ago, Terah said:

Preferably right after the warranty had ended (and once just before, but that store had gone bankrupt, so we were screwed then too).

Of course they do... :(

 

6 hours ago, Terah said:

My point: two little boys make a lot of laundry ;)

Gotcha :D Thanks for explaining.

 

10 hours ago, Tobbe said:

Our laundry machine is pretty big. It takes 8 kg loads. We do four to five loads per week. (Two adults, three kids 10, 7, 0.8 yr)

(Not that you asked me... :rolleyes:)

That is quite alright. I find it useful  to hear! 

 

Ours is 9 kg, apparently. The laundry loads vary quite regularly because of family visits (which are usually long because they come from abroad) :)

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wednesday

I can't drink coffee anymore. I just started to like it :(

I noticed that my sleep wasn't so good, so I decided to see what would happen if I would cut out coffee. Well, I sleep like a rose, that's what happens (much better than a baby who wakes up every 3 hours ;) )

It had been a week, so yesterday I thought I try a cup of coffee again. Sleep was not good. I kept waking up and having trouble getting back to sleep.

So how many cups was I drinking you may wonder. One whole cup a day. Yes, I know. My husband drinks like 8 of them and sleeps fine.

O well, there is always decaf...

 

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Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice
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Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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18 hours ago, Terah said:

wednesday

I can't drink coffee anymore. I just started to like it :(

I noticed that my sleep wasn't so good, so I decided to see what would happen if I would cut out coffee. Well, I sleep like a rose, that's what happens (much better than a baby who wakes up every 3 hours ;) )

It had been a week, so yesterday I thought I try a cup of coffee again. Sleep was not good. I kept waking up and having trouble getting back to sleep.

So how many cups was I drinking you may wonder. One whole cup a day. Yes, I know. My husband drinks like 8 of them and sleeps fine.

O well, there is always decaf...

Aww. Decaf can definitely scratch that itch! 

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Raptron, alot assassin

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The Halloween dance party was so much fun! There were a few people dressed really scary, but most were not so bad :D

We danced for 3 hours straight. There were like 5 different instructors each with their own style. 

One of the instructors really enjoyed scaring people. He's a big guy and wore a long, dark coat and a smiling white mask en just stood really, really still while staring at people.

 

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Doodlie for life, Pancake by choice
Spoiler

 

Challenge 12, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 

Challenges 2017: 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Challenges 2018: 29, 30, 31, 32, 3334, 35,

Challenges 2019: 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Challenges 2020: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

 

Challenges 2023: 46, 47

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