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ElizeElvinFoxRyder - Running with the dogs


MrsVan

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5 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Just have to take it as it comes. I've already told Brandt if a heavy storm comes up this afternoon, I'm not going to Lego. Last week I had to race out in front of it to get home. If it is light rain, then it's fine. I'll dose Missy and keep the dogs inside. But no driving through these heavy storms if not absolutely necessary to get home. Extra-murals just aren't worth it. 

 

You've got your priorities absolutely right.

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SO happy you weren't hit!!

Gosh, that's just crazy, now I know tornadoes are possible in South Africa... (I think I looked up once where the other places got hit). 

 

The craziness of the weather changes, do hope a safe week is ahead. As there is one thing to know storms, but have always been taught tornadoes are so unpredictable. 

May your pup also get okay through the chaos of weather changes. 

 

I do hope the tension loosens up for you, I personally get the jaw tension (and the pains....). 

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we always treat tornado's seriously.

I recall one time; they called me to do a church meeting during a tornado watch; and I'm like...

 

Seriously!?  do you know we are waiting in our basements for this to Pass!?

 

..... sometimes I think its amazing more people don't get hurt from them.

 

what I can say is that Here in the USA they are well forecasted things; for something that is very hard to predict, alot of effort is made to warn people that might be hurt, to be safe and take shelter.

---

PS.

I also think that in places we they don't happen OFTEN like HERE (in my part of the USA) or over in Safrica- its additionally challenging to be prepared for them but my understanding is that there have been tornados in every continent (and most countries) of the world except Antartica

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the "NEW" normal is good with me! as Life was Never really Normal anyways....

 

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On 11/13/2019 at 12:47 PM, The Hero of Time said:

 

You've got your priorities absolutely right.

The safety and wellbeing of my kids (2 and 4 legged), and self preservation are paramount. Also a healthy dose of respect for Mother Nature and what she is capable of. We once had our whole house's roof blown off by a freak wind. It lifted the whole roof, intact, and dumped it on the other side of the electric fence. Luckily we weren't home at the time, and luckily we lived on a plantation so there weren't neighbours who could get hurt.

On 11/13/2019 at 5:58 PM, LovelyBouncer said:

SO happy you weren't hit!!

Gosh, that's just crazy, now I know tornadoes are possible in South Africa... (I think I looked up once where the other places got hit). 

 

The craziness of the weather changes, do hope a safe week is ahead. As there is one thing to know storms, but have always been taught tornadoes are so unpredictable. 

May your pup also get okay through the chaos of weather changes. 

 

I do hope the tension loosens up for you, I personally get the jaw tension (and the pains....). 

I decided to push some of the paper work w.r.t. emigration to the side for now, and rather continue with some of next year's school work prep. My stress levels immediately scaled down. It also doesn't help that hubby is trying to push to finish his rally car (the one he is building) and is digging heavily into our monthly money. I've had to warn him that he's reaching limits of going into grocery money, and other money that we've earmarked for other expenses. Luckily he listened, so that stress was lifted as well.

On 11/14/2019 at 2:43 AM, Sloth the Enduring said:

Wow. Scary. I’m glad you’re all ok.

Thanks for your concern. There's been storms every single day this week! Every single day saw tornadoes trying to form, some definitely forming, some out over the sea (1hr+ from us), others within 30min. to an hour's drive from us. These are areas not known for tornadoes, how rare they may be to South Africa.

17 hours ago, TGP said:

we always treat tornado's seriously.

I recall one time; they called me to do a church meeting during a tornado watch; and I'm like...

 

Seriously!?  do you know we are waiting in our basements for this to Pass!?

 

..... sometimes I think its amazing more people don't get hurt from them.

 

what I can say is that Here in the USA they are well forecasted things; for something that is very hard to predict, alot of effort is made to warn people that might be hurt, to be safe and take shelter.

---

PS.

I also think that in places we they don't happen OFTEN like HERE (in my part of the USA) or over in Safrica- its additionally challenging to be prepared for them but my understanding is that there have been tornados in every continent (and most countries) of the world except Antartica

We have had tornadoes in South Africa from time to time, but nothing this severe as far as I know, and in our hot, dry Free State province. These storms are occurring over hilly to mountainous terrain, which is not common here. And no, our country isn't prepped to handle these kinds of storms. I mean some of the communities continue to build their houses in river flooding areas, where they are destroyed every single year when those rivers come down, and still... nothing changes. The areas hit that first day were very fortunate that only two people died, with 'various' injured. I don't know whether people were warned over national TV, as we don't watch, but Brandt said there were no warnings on the weather channel that he checked on. Only belatedly did we receive warnings that there were bound to be more storms after Wednesday. As far as we know there was never a tornado warning beforehand, and the last warning, the one which I read for Thursday (yesterday) said the weather will be so severe it is "biblical, with an extreme danger to life". Going into Friday.

 

--------------------00--------------------

 

We were very lucky that in Pmb itself we were only hit by severe, short downpours and some hail. In a farming area about 30min. to the other side of us (so not to the sea side, but more to the mountains), it's been reported that some cattle had been killed by the hailstones! I doubted this, but Brandt confirmed Wednesday evening that some of their farmer clients phoned to confirm that they've had severe damage to crops and animals. It's as if our town has been on the outskirts of all the storms so far.

 

I'm just saying "Thank you Lord, for keeping us safe."

 

I didn't go to Lego on Wednesday. To be honest, there hadn't been warnings (that I picked up) when we had to leave, sky was actually open, blue, and almost sunny, but Adam got a headache (eye strain I think), and Missy started shaking (that's her warning signal). Within a short space of time (we would have been in Merrivale by then for Lego), it clouded over and it started raining. By the time we would have had to return home, it was storming. Short, sharp, not sweet. Small hail again, and icy cold! So we would have been caught in it. My gardener also phoned and said that his house's roof was badly damaged and he wasn't going to come to work (on Thursday). Today (Friday) he is working next door at the neighbour's so I guess he managed to fix it. I haven't spoken to him yet.

 

Same thing happened Thursday morning, but this time I've read weather warnings (what I mentioned to TGP above), and when the clouds started moving I knew, no horse riding for Adam, and we stayed put again. Another short (20-30min?), hard storm, luckily no hail in town this time, some strong winds, and after that it drizzled on and off for a couple hours. It was also fortunate that the guys came to fix my washing machine just before the first hard rain came down. While this storm hit Pmb, the full blast was felt closer to the sea, and I've seen various videos of tornadoes trying to form, vicious winds blowing, rivers coming down in flash floods (one taxi was pulled into the river - all 4 people were saved, 1 lady got mild hypothermia from floating down stream).

 

For today there's been rain forecasted, but no storms like the last couple days, but Brandt says the weather are moving in from the sea (south west), and it doesn't look good. I promised the boys I'd take them to the trampoline park today. We'll just have to see.

 

And I also helped Brandt with his car Wednesday and Thursday evenings for close to two hours, putting in back windows.

 

Oh and challenge wise...

Week 3 - Challenge: (Ha... caught up! About time!)

:dog: De-stress: Morning coffee in bed.

:dog: Finances: Dailies only.

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143

:dog: Walking: None. Storms.

:dog: Dog run: Played inside with Zuzu.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Gluten in the fish coating. Little bit of chocolate/milo.
  • Water/Tea: A lot less again.
  • Coffee: Back to four mugs.

:dog: Measurements: Measured on Monday. Weight down, measurements not.

 

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Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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2 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

The safety and wellbeing of my kids (2 and 4 legged), and self preservation are paramount. Also a healthy dose of respect for Mother Nature and what she is capable of. We once had our whole house's roof blown off by a freak wind. It lifted the whole roof, intact, and dumped it on the other side of the electric fence. Luckily we weren't home at the time, and luckily we lived on a plantation so there weren't neighbours who could get hurt.

 

That must have been horrible to come home to. Flooding is more the issue around here (not us, personally; we're on the top of the hill; and not this time 'round) and you certainly develop a healthy respect for the destructive power of water. It does make you contemplate what you would save...

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Current Challenge: More treasure-hunting in Kakariko graveyard

Epic Quest: Kokiri Forest | Great Deku Tree | Great Deku Tree, part 2 - boss fight | Meeting Princess Zelda | In the royal tomb | Still in the royal tomb | Treasure-hunting in Kakariko graveyard

___

 

"A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage." --- Hero's Shade, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

 

___

 

I help research into the Coronavirus with Rosetta@home and World Community Grid. You can too.

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43 minutes ago, The Hero of Time said:

 

That must have been horrible to come home to. Flooding is more the issue around here (not us, personally; we're on the top of the hill; and not this time 'round) and you certainly develop a healthy respect for the destructive power of water. It does make you contemplate what you would save...

A contractor phoned me at work. They lived about 500m down the road and heard something. He went out to see and found our house roofless. I was working late while hubby was at a squash tournament out of town.

Yes, I've spent some time thinking what would I save, and came up with family, pets, and then.... mmm the things I don't dare forget lest it gets stolen. Unfortunately, as sentimental as I am, photos came last. Fire arm and computers came first :D.  Yip, still think that would be my order of saving things. But then I also tend to drag on the practical things like, I hope that I remember to close the gas off, and switch off the electricity mains if I'm able to. I haven't figured my brain out totally yet.

 

We've been to the trampoline park. The boys finished their school work quickly and we decided to rather go early than wait for afternoon. A lot of the schools in town have been closed after a warning from our provincial education department, so there was a grade 1 or 2 class at the place, as well as some older kids brought in by parents. Adam and Rocco were still the oldest. Some parents on the community group complained earlier this morning that they didn't know what to do with their kids, if they couldn't send them to school.

 

One good thing for me: there is a new manager at the coffee shop at Blast Trampoline Park, and he offered to make me a coffee milkshake. It isn't on their menu (I asked), but he was keen to see what he could do. :D I totally agreed to be the guinea pig, and thoroughly enjoyed the coffee milkshake. Hope they'll put it on the new menu.

 

The wind is now starting to pick up and it's closing in and misting up. This was a total 'mislukking' of a challenge week. The thoughts in @Tanktimus the Encourager's thread, w.r.t. not getting around to training, and being so tired and stressed, did give me pause for thought.

 

Oops... here comes the rain!

Chat again over the weekend.

Be good!

:love_heart:

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Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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It has been a hellish couple of weeks, keeping track of the monkey troop. The magic dust that had corrupted the male and female alpha leaders' senses, had shown no signs of weakening. Neither were there any signs of change in the rest of the group of mischief makers. Elize and her pack of hunting dogs had been following after them, keeping an eye, trying to stop mischief where they could. Scaring the troop away from human habitation, preventing more attacks. But they never engaged directly. They stayed vigilant, aware. Then came the rain, and the storms. Luckily it stopped the troop from going out causing chaos, but it brought its own problems. Elize and her pack had to stay put, weather the storms as they raged all around. Hail came down in fist size chunks of ice, bulldozing trees from above. Small critters came scurrying into their cave looking for warmth and safety. Bigger animals had taken to dark, close packed forest areas, where the top branches of age old trees, stopped some of the hail and rain. Wherever they could find a hollow or some shelter, the animals took it. The dogs, with Missy as leader, dug trenches all around to lead the rushing streams of water away from their shallow cave in the hollow of the rocky outcrop. Elize dragged pieces of branches around to form more of a barricade to their shelter. Layers upon layers of leaves created a bigger 'roof' to enlarge their shelter for others to find refuge as well. Her little bit of magic helped to keep everything solidly in place.

 

As Elize woke up from a fitful night's sleep, she got a huge fright when she saw the hulking form next to the fire, warming his hands.

 

"Your awake," he mumbled around his long-stemmed pipe, his gray, grizzly beard hardly moving. The rim of his gray hat lifted ever so slightly, and two twinkling, laughing eyes looked her over.

 

"Not much worse for wear. Your pack told me you had a terrible time with the weather." Elize relaxed her muscles, and slowly let go of the firearm she had instinctively grabbed lying next to her bedroll.

 

"Gandalf," she expelled on a sigh. "Good to see you, old friend. What are you doing here?" She took the mug of coffee he was holding out to her, cupping it in her cold hands.

 

"I found a spell of reality which might work on tranquilisers. Thought I'd come myself, help you with this ... situation," he sucked on his pipe, huffing the smoke out, which twirled lazily up to where a slight draft took it out into the morning air.

 

"That would be marvelous" she answered, hope lifting her voice and emotions. She absentmindedly rubbed Rosy behind the ears. Zuzu also crept closer to those 'magical fingers'. They could always find just the right spot that needed a scratch. Elize immediately felt the cold creeping into her toes, inside her sleeping bag, when the two dogs moved away from her feet, but she didn't pay it much attention, her mind already racing with possibilities. Missy was laying calmly at the cave opening, tongue lolling pink in the early morning light. She seemed to have a big smile on her face too. Little furry bundles could be seen curled up against her flank. Some were starting to move around, and soon stretched themselves out. Nothing like a warm, dog body to curl up against in cold, hard times. There's always a ray of light in any situation, if you look at it from the right angle.

 

Elize informed Gandalf of the situation with the Malicious Monkey Troop. They've been running around, putting out the proverbial fires, but not really accomplishing anything. They made plans for the coming week. They would corner the monkey troop, going first for the big ones. If they fell, the little ones won't know what to do, and should be easier to handle. If they couldn't get the big ones, as they usually make sure they were very well protected by their followers, they'll take out the next in line. The storms had thrown the troops' movement into disarray. Will they fall back into their old pattern? Elize, Gandalf and the pack will just have to take it as it comes. They couldn't plan for specific places, specific times. This was almost a case of gorilla warfare.

 

Gandalf had brought a big flask with tranquiliser liquid, as well as empty darts. He would first infuse the liquid in the flask with the new magic spell he'd found. Then Elize had the very exact job of making darts. They would also have to be colour coded. Bigger dosages for bigger members of the pack. They worked equably as a team throughout the day; making jokes, filling each other in about happenings from their respective communities. Gandalf came all the way from The Land of the Big White Clouds. That was where he had found this particular spell. By night time they were ready. They had their 'ammunition' set, their plans, as much as they could plan, were thought out. There should be more than enough tranquiliser for the whole troop, and then some.

 

Elize and her pack had run a perimeter sweep earlier the day to check on the whereabouts of the troop, but the latter had not moved. They were very cautious of the storm still brewing around the ridges of their rocky outcrop. Gandalf set perimeter warnings before retreating into the shelter. Time for a good night's rest. Tomorrow will come soon enough.

 

--------------------00--------------------

 

All that to say that I basically hadn't moved in any which way with my goals for this challenge. But I'm gathering my ammunition together, making my plans, picking up and going to continue.

I thought about a lot of my particular monkeys over the last week, and one especially hit me over the weekend. Some emotion/emotional thinking following for those who'd prefer to skip...
 

Spoiler

 

While grocery shopping yesterday, I realised that I've been procrastinating about making arrangements for end of the month's trip up to Sabie. Well, I couldn't really because our gardener has already told me that he wasn't sure if he could house sit for us, as he told another employer he would be helping him that weekend. He would only know by end of this week. Thinking about not having someone here, gave me the out that I could stay. Brandt and I have argued about this 'tradition' of going up to Sabie for this particular race and to visit his mom, many times over the last couple years. I think the last year or two had been without confrontation with me being blamed for something (previously home schooling in particular, another couple times about the boys not cycling or doing the sports she wants them to do - cricket and rugby, and other nonsense), but it never is a break/holiday for me. I always work my behind off, because Brandt's mom invites a lot of people to the cycling event, them staying over at her house, and I have to jump in to help with washing, food prep, looking after all the kids, etc. Brandt calls it his holiday break (along with the one in July when we also visit his mom), because he does everything he likes: cycling, watching movies, relaxing, helping to fix things around her house. So yes, I'm always worked up about having to go to her house, and I generally see it in a negative light. This year, now after the slight confrontation we had in October about wanting to emigrate... yeah I'm negative. I don't want to go to her house, finish and klaar.

 

It just hit me... she phoned earlier this week during working hours, to give Brandt a message, but wanted to tell me to give it to him? She normally phones him directly on his cell, so why did she phone home? Anyway.. she phoned last night to talk to Brandt again, and when talking to me told me about her conversation with Rocco earlier the week. Rocco answered, told her I wasn't home and took the message that she wanted to tell Brandt something about the cycling. When I came home, that was what he told me. Later he also told me that she apparently thought she had to tell them that they shouldn't talk to strangers on the phone, and Rocco said he told her that she wasn't a stranger that was why he told her I wasn't at home. They know exactly what they should/shouldn't say or what they are allowed to do/not do. Brandt and I have drilled them on it. I also phone home if I'm out longer than an hour to check on them, which is why they answer the phone. So long story short, she took it upon herself last night to tell me that she realised that I hadn't told them about strangers and what to tell people over the phone so she told him/them, because it is for their own safety. She'll make sure that they know how to handle the situation. I really bit down on my teeth then, because I got a cramp in my cheek/jaw. Told her shortly that Brandt and I had both drilled it, and we as their parents know what to do. "Well..." was all she answered. Then it was about Adam having to start using deodorant because he is now a teenager, and other things in that line. I tried to ignore it and started asking about the weather, made a bit of small talk, got the boys to say hello to her over the phone, and rang off.

 

I shouldn't be worked up about it, but I am. I feel like she is taking over again/continuously, continuing to disrespect us as parents, and the only way that I can get through to her to stop this meddling is to fight, feeling I have to defend us. And I'm sick and tired of it. So I'd rather just steer clear and avoid the situation at all. Neither the boys or Brandt gets worked up about it, they just outright ignore her. I just can't seem to. So I made up my mind last night that I'll tell Brandt I'm not going up end of the month, end of story.

 

Then there is the slight situation that Rocco's fencing coach is organising a bootcamp with an international fencer who will be here for an international fencing competition early December. Rocco's last lesson is next week, but she asked everyone to come in the Tuesday after (3rd Dec. when we would be driving back from Sabie) to collect gear. If you're not there, you don't take part in the bootcamp. So I asked her tentatively if it would be ok if I fetched Rocco's gear while he visits his grandmother, and she said it would be ok (we know his size, I have it, I'm responsible for it). She will hold the last lessons that week, as well as prepping to official at the international competition in Durban that next weekend (6-8 Dec), and setting up the bootcamp for that following Monday and Tuesday (9-10 Dec). So she wants it done and handed out to the families.

 

Brandt isn't willing to cut his visit to his mom short (he is going up on Friday, will be cycling in a team event the Saturday afternoon till 8pm the evening, then visiting with everyone in the team, taking a break on Sunday. Monday he will be fixing things around her house, so he only wants to drive back Tuesday), so I told him this morning, in light of Eric probably not being able to house sit, and me having to fetch Rocco's gear, I am opting to stay. He just looked at me. So I said "ok, the real reason is I don't want to go up", told him he knows my previous feelings on the situation, and what happened in October, I'm not in the the mood for a possible confrontation, so I'm asking to stay. He just nodded, then walked off.

 

I don't want to put him between us. I don't want him to have to choose. I don't want to keep him or the boys away from her because I can't handle the emotions. So I'll take the coward's way out and stay away. Because I'm really, really brewing for a fight.

 

 

Something else I've come to realise and accept. When/If we emigrate, we won't be able to take Missy with. If there is one thing that last week's storms showed me it is that she really doesn't cope in bad weather, and NZ has a lot of storms (depending on where you live, but still). Also... and this is the big reason, I found two new lumps on her. One in her face, next to her right eye, and one on her neck. Age wise she is 12yrs, but healthy and fit, but we've already had two lumps removed last year. It took her a whole year to get back from those two operations. I just don't want to put her through the stress in her old age, on a long term basis. I'm just going to go on for now, not take any drastic measures, until we finally know what our future looks like.

 

Now I'm going to clean the house. It's raining again. Gardener didn't come to work. Brandt asked, if I'm really staying, would I paint the weight lift stands.

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Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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On 11/15/2019 at 10:51 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

A contractor phoned me at work. They lived about 500m down the road and heard something. He went out to see and found our house roofless. I was working late while hubby was at a squash tournament out of town.

 

At least you had some warning, but it must still have been quite a shock to actually see it.

 

On 11/15/2019 at 10:51 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Yes, I've spent some time thinking what would I save, and came up with family, pets, and then.... mmm the things I don't dare forget lest it gets stolen. Unfortunately, as sentimental as I am, photos came last. Fire arm and computers came first :D.  Yip, still think that would be my order of saving things. But then I also tend to drag on the practical things like, I hope that I remember to close the gas off, and switch off the electricity mains if I'm able to. I haven't figured my brain out totally yet.

 

There's a hard disc I would go for first. It has our photos and scans of all our important documents, including the likes of birth certificates. Pretty much everything else is covered by insurance, and the hard disc has scans of the receipts for the items the insurance would need to replace. If I had chance, I'd grab some of my wife's artwork, and maybe some of the grandkids' pictures that are on the fridge (although some of those are scanned too). Fire-arms aren't really an issue over here... but turning off the gas and electricity, that's something I need to remember.

 

When you figure out how to figure out your brain, let me know. I need some tips for my own. :friendly_wink:

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Current Challenge: More treasure-hunting in Kakariko graveyard

Epic Quest: Kokiri Forest | Great Deku Tree | Great Deku Tree, part 2 - boss fight | Meeting Princess Zelda | In the royal tomb | Still in the royal tomb | Treasure-hunting in Kakariko graveyard

___

 

"A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage." --- Hero's Shade, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.

 

___

 

I help research into the Coronavirus with Rosetta@home and World Community Grid. You can too.

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3 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

There's a hard disc I would go for first. It has our photos and scans of all our important documents, including the likes of birth certificates.

One of the reasons why I would go for our computers first! I also have all this on my HD and backups. Basically all our finances, invoices/receipts, and all Brandt's tax stuff is on my computer, so we'll definitely need it. Our insurance with regards to household content is set specifically for 'acts of God'. So we'll only be paid out for household contents being damaged/lost if it happens due to serious freak/weather situations. Which this was at that time, but if we are broken into or stuff stolen from our property, we don't have any cover.

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Mrs. Van's Latest Challenge

 

 

Zechariah 4:6

"Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit, saith the Lord."

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8 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I shouldn't be worked up about it, but I am. I feel like she is taking over again/continuously, continuing to disrespect us as parents, and the only way that I can get through to her to stop this meddling is to fight, feeling I have to defend us. And I'm sick and tired of it. So I'd rather just steer clear and avoid the situation at all. Neither the boys or Brandt gets worked up about it, they just outright ignore her. I just can't seem to. So I made up my mind last night that I'll tell Brandt I'm not going up end of the month, end of story.

You do have the right to be upset. Your feelings are normal and valid. Elsewhere you called your solution "The cowards way." It isn't. You're staying home for your sanity. That isn't cowardice, that's wisdom. Cowardice would have been to go and be miserable instead of standing up for yourself and setting a boundary. I'm proud of you for the way you handled things.

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Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

52,53

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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I strongly echo tanks thoughts.  I too caught that term and I think it doesn't fit at all.  this is a difficult situation with a difficult person. Your clear-eyed decision is worthy of gandalf's sage approval; If I'm any judge of what a wizard might say about such things.

 

 

 

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https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/116426-im-awake/

the "NEW" normal is good with me! as Life was Never really Normal anyways....

 

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Been evacuated twice in the past three years for wildfires. First time, no notice, fire coming down the hill. Second time, a couple of days warning. I have learned firsthand that my normally very rational, cool, calm and collected brain turns to mush and I do not always make good decisions during evacuations.
Make a list ahead of time and keep it by the door. Maybe keep a go bag packed at all times with clothes and entertainment for the kids. Flashlights. A book light for reading by. One of the random things I grabbed on my way out the door last time was a book of piano music. I ended up at a hotel that happened to have a piano in the lobby and I was very happy to have that music book with me. 
You don’t have to grab the entire computer if you don’t have time or space,  just the hard drive.
After spending a night shivering in a parking lot, I now keep a sleeping bag in my trunk at all times.

Getting far away from the disaster area and staying with my kids is my solution. It eases the stress on the people taking care of evacuees (she says nobly, ahem) and (most importantly to me) it eases the stress on me.

Some in the area just said to hell with it and took the kids to Disneyland.

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I agree, not cowardly at all, especially because you were able to be honest with Brandt and tell him the real reason you didn't want to go. It's really honorable that you are happy to let Brandt and the boys go up and enjoy the time. It doesn't sound like it would be at all enjoyable for you, so I'm really happy you've found a way to get out of it.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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15 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You do have the right to be upset. Your feelings are normal and valid. Elsewhere you called your solution "The cowards way." It isn't. You're staying home for your sanity. That isn't cowardice, that's wisdom. Cowardice would have been to go and be miserable instead of standing up for yourself and setting a boundary. I'm proud of you for the way you handled things.

 

14 hours ago, TGP said:

I strongly echo tanks thoughts.  I too caught that term and I think it doesn't fit at all.  this is a difficult situation with a difficult person. Your clear-eyed decision is worthy of gandalf's sage approval; If I'm any judge of what a wizard might say about such things.

 

 

 

 

4 hours ago, Xena said:

I agree, not cowardly at all, especially because you were able to be honest with Brandt and tell him the real reason you didn't want to go. It's really honorable that you are happy to let Brandt and the boys go up and enjoy the time. It doesn't sound like it would be at all enjoyable for you, so I'm really happy you've found a way to get out of it.

Thanks guys, but ... Brandt asked me this morning just before leaving for work, whether I'm now really going to stay? I said yes, I'll buy the things his mom wants us to get her, and send it along with him. I'm not going. He got really upset, told me that I then have to tell her, he won't do it, and drove off. The year before last he told me I take things too personally and my reaction is childish. So yeah, I'm not really happy at the moment. Honestly I feel like crying. I still feel staying is the right thing for me to do, and your words has bolstered my thoughts, I'm just... I'm just upset.
 

The boys heard then that I've decided to stay. They immediately said, then their not going with either. I told them there would be other people there with kids they could play with, and granny's bought that new bird that can talk... Adam is adamant, he isn't going if I'm not going, because first, too many people, second they'll have to stay at the cycling race the whole time, third granny is going to moan because she feels she has to watch them while at the pool the whole time, and lastly she has to look after them because I'm not there. He is set, and he isn't even upset about it. :( Rocco said he'll go, because those things won't bother him. I also think it is about him being allowed to eat as much bread and biscuits as he wants to. I'm not there trying to be strict about food. I told them to sleep on it, and not to worry about it. They should think what they really want to do, if they want to go, no problem. If they want to stay, no problem.

 

I think this is partly why I also want to go away to NZ so badly - then I get away from these situations. I can get away from everything I have to put up with that I hate/seriously dislike. Never mind safety, job opportunities for Brandt, education and future for the boys...

8 hours ago, Emma said:

Been evacuated twice in the past three years for wildfires. First time, no notice, fire coming down the hill. Second time, a couple of days warning. I have learned firsthand that my normally very rational, cool, calm and collected brain turns to mush and I do not always make good decisions during evacuations.
Make a list ahead of time and keep it by the door. Maybe keep a go bag packed at all times with clothes and entertainment for the kids. Flashlights. A book light for reading by. One of the random things I grabbed on my way out the door last time was a book of piano music. I ended up at a hotel that happened to have a piano in the lobby and I was very happy to have that music book with me. 
You don’t have to grab the entire computer if you don’t have time or space,  just the hard drive.
After spending a night shivering in a parking lot, I now keep a sleeping bag in my trunk at all times.

Getting far away from the disaster area and staying with my kids is my solution. It eases the stress on the people taking care of evacuees (she says nobly, ahem) and (most importantly to me) it eases the stress on me.

Some in the area just said to hell with it and took the kids to Disneyland.

Oh my word. We once had a huge veld fire coming over the ridge, and the fire department sent out warnings, but we didn't have to evacuate. Keeping a packed bag ready is a really good idea. I have some things in the car at all times because they are needed when you least expect it (especially when you have kids). One of those silver blankets are in our medical kit in the car, there is a thick, padded picnic blanket which does keep you warm (made it myself), and two of the boys' smaller blankets, extra jackets for all of us, umbrella, sunscreen, hats, a 5L bottle of water, a small emergency flashlight... But you have some really good ideas here. Glad you were safe and had your music with you.

 

--------------------00--------------------

 

The sun is out and shining weakly, but we can actually see it.

The challenge is not looking good, but I'm hoping to pick things up.

 

Week 4 - Monday:

:dog: De-stress: No morning coffee in bed. No time during the day. Did relax at swimming.

:dog: Finances: Nothing yet.

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143

:dog: Walking: Not yet.

:dog: Dog run: Played inside with Zuzu. He chased the vacuum cleaner head yesterday morning. He chased monkeys later in the day. His collar is more loose, so he seems to be starting to loose weight.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Had milo after swimming, and a small chocolate.
  • Water/Tea: Need to get water at the shop. There is a lot of dust in our tanks. The filters are getting everything out.
  • Coffee: Back to four mugs. Yes, this is ok again.

:dog: Measurements: Weighed on Monday. Weight stable at 97.9kg No measurements taken, but my belt is looser, goes into the last hole, and I can pull it tighter if there were more holes. But it is a man's belt, so bigger than a woman's.

 

ADDED: I cleaned the house thoroughly yesterday. Did a lot of cooking. Did a lot of prep work on the school stuff. I'm having to nag Brandt about things he has to do document wise for the agency. He's back to not wanting to talk about it, and getting upset when I try to tell him the things I've done and still have to arrange :(

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20 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

One of the reasons why I would go for our computers first! I also have all this on my HD and backups. Basically all our finances, invoices/receipts, and all Brandt's tax stuff is on my computer, so we'll definitely need it. Our insurance with regards to household content is set specifically for 'acts of God'. So we'll only be paid out for household contents being damaged/lost if it happens due to serious freak/weather situations. Which this was at that time, but if we are broken into or stuff stolen from our property, we don't have any cover. 

 

Makes perfect sense to me, although it's easier to grab a portable hard disc that just contains the data.

 

Is it a lot more expensive to have cover for theft?

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I'd want to get away from all those people too.

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It's kind of funny to see how Rocco might see the advantage of not having his mom around... 

 

But sorry it's getting tough, and I personally see Brandt having to redo how he sees the trip if you aren't there. I personally agree with taking a break, especially with the amount of stress daily life just has been with the paperwork and storms. 

While also Brandt may take your emotions as a challenge, however, you are being upfront. Ready to prepare, and be there but have your boundaries. Especially with the unpredictability of house sitting those boundaries and plans are needed. Good job for taking care of yourself, and hope things make sense as they fall into place. 

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3 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

 

Makes perfect sense to me, although it's easier to grab a portable hard disc that just contains the data.

 

Is it a lot more expensive to have cover for theft?

To have normal household contents theft cover will cost about R300/month more, excluding things like our computers and fire arms which have to be specified. That will cost probably about double that, I'm not sure. I haven't gotten a quote recently, but yes, it is a hefty amount more. Also because of the high crime rate throughout the country, some insurance companies kind of insist you have an alarm system (linked to security company), not just dogs, otherwise they load your premium because of 'extra risk'. You also have to prove that your house was forcibly entered into, or they don't pay. We already have security doors at all the doors that open to the outside, and burglar bars in front of all the windows that can open.  We also have three dogs who are way better than any security company (in our opinion).

43 minutes ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

I'd want to get away from all those people too.

Yes, she's going to have a full house. Two other families will be there as well.

47 minutes ago, LovelyBouncer said:

But sorry it's getting tough, and I personally see Brandt having to redo how he sees the trip if you aren't there. I personally agree with taking a break, especially with the amount of stress daily life just has been with the paperwork and storms.

This isn't the first time that I've refused to go up. Brandt won't see it differently, and he won't change his plans. I've been told that I'm the one who has to change how I think about it, or how I see it. I guess me standing up for myself more and more is throwing a spanner in the works.

 

I don't understand it...

Spoiler

 

Or her. She has no problem arranging things that people will enjoy, like when we visit at other times, she arranged that we go somewhere, do something, she arranges for team mates for Brandt for this cycling event every single year, but she always makes these scoffing, biting remarks about people. She seems to always be insulting, to the point of rudeness to some people, except her two sons. She says she is straight and honest, but I mean, half of the things she's said to me over the years were just plain false, and very hurtful. Because we chose to homeschool, I was blamed and said that I'm doing an injustice to the boys, and many, many such remarks. At her 70th birthday she said out loud in front of all her/our friends and family gathered, that I took Brandt away from her by insisting we move to Pmb, but he was transferred by his work! Everyone burst out laughing asking her if she was serious and some even said, 'get real' (Afrikaans). Through the years I've heard how dirty my house is; don't even go back to how I struggled to get her NOT to give the boys any gluten (and now that I've cut it out again, she is upset again), when a bite of a slice of bread would give them such bad asthma, they would have to use emergency pumps. Then she'd feed them toast behind my back, and I had to jump to get them breathing again. I did fight then, but Brandt said nothing. Because we don't want to buy another trampoline, she told me in October how could I decide that because without a trampoline the boys won't do anything. They are already not doing sport. My reply was "Ag bog!" (similar to something like 'that's nonsense') and I pointed out that they were swimming, doing fencing or riding, and that they've always been doing some type of sport through the years. But no, they aren't cycling which is what she wants, and they don't play rugby or cricket because they aren't in a school. I was told how bad my sewing was after I'd fixed those two shorts I'd bought for Brandt, but when I pointed out that there was nothing wrong with the way I fixed it, it was the pants which were tapering that was the problem, she just snorted. That was when she brought up that we were overspending and I told her what she was referring to was our expense for the dogs' tests for emigration, and she clamped up. So I piled more sewing on her lap to keep her happy and occupied. And now with the emigration plans, it is all my negativity that is making Brandt wanting to go over. I just don't get it. How can she be nice, do nice things for people the one minute, but flog them with her tongue the next?

 

I've always just swallowed it, but these last couple of years I've reached a point where it drives me nuts and I want to fight and tell her off so badly! A couple of years ago I was seriously contemplating leaving Brandt because I couldn't handle it, and him never standing up for us. Then the problems with my mom came in, and ... yeah well. Here we are.

 

I'm not trying to drag old cows out of the ditch, I'm just not... I just don't understand how she can be so nice one minute, the next totally the opposite.

 

 

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Ok, I have to add this... I phoned m.i.l. just now, said Adam and I won't come, and she was nice the whole time. Said she was sorry to hear but that is just how it is. Told her that Rocco still wanted to go up with Brandt, if it wasn't a problem, and she was fine with that. Said there was no problem. We talked a bit about her new bird, she said how she enjoyed him talking to her, and then we said good bye. I really don't understand.

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Sorry you are  dealing with it. I think you are fine to say you don't want to go. I also like how you told Brandt that you want him to stick up for you. That's obviously super hard for me, he has a lifetime of just trying to ignore it, but it is still good for you to  state that desire. I hate it when people use being "straight and honest" as an excuse to be hurtful.

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You learned to stand up for yourself with your own mother, and now you refuse to tolerate things from your MIL.

1 hour ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Ok, I have to add this... I phoned m.i.l. just now, said Adam and I won't come, and she was nice the whole time. Said she was sorry to hear but that is just how it is. Told her that Rocco still wanted to go up with Brandt, if it wasn't a problem, and she was fine with that. Said there was no problem. We talked a bit about her new bird, she said how she enjoyed him talking to her, and then we said good bye. I really don't understand.

She'll complain about it later.

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5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

She'll complain about it later.

True.

-------------

I'm sorry this is so hard. I can completely imagine the whole dynamic. It would be really nice if Brandt supported you in your decision, but I understand that we all get trapped in patterns when it comes to family.

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Xena, Level 14+ Valkyrie Ranger

January 2017  December 2016

Oct/Nov 2016

 

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17 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

To have normal household contents theft cover will cost about R300/month more, excluding things like our computers and fire arms which have to be specified. That will cost probably about double that, I'm not sure. I haven't gotten a quote recently, but yes, it is a hefty amount more. Also because of the high crime rate throughout the country, some insurance companies kind of insist you have an alarm system (linked to security company), not just dogs, otherwise they load your premium because of 'extra risk'. You also have to prove that your house was forcibly entered into, or they don't pay. We already have security doors at all the doors that open to the outside, and burglar bars in front of all the windows that can open.  We also have three dogs who are way better than any security company (in our opinion).

 

Ouch, I can see why you've opted for security measures rather than pay through the nose for insurance. It must be stressful to live in an area with such high crime. It's a long time since I've had a dog but I do remember that he knew when people were outside the house, even though we couldn't see or hear anything until they were much closer.

 

17 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I guess me standing up for myself more and more is throwing a spanner in the works.

 

I think it's a spanner that should be thrown. There are two people in my wife's family who sound like your M-I-L. They both think the sun shines out of their own arse but I think they both have Aspergers (this is an improvement from coming to the conclusion that one of them is phsychotic). I have reached the point (after many years of trying to find a way to deal with them equitably) where I just avoid them as much as possible. I've exhausted all the options (that I can think of) to change their attitude.

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3 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

 

I think it's a spanner that should be thrown. There are two people in my wife's family who sound like your M-I-L. They both think the sun shines out of their own arse but I think they both have Aspergers (this is an improvement from coming to the conclusion that one of them is phsychotic). I have reached the point (after many years of trying to find a way to deal with them equitably) where I just avoid them as much as possible. I've exhausted all the options (that I can think of) to change their attitude.

Aspergers does not equate to self-centerdness. 

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