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ElizeElvinFoxRyder - Running with the dogs


MrsVan

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5 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Aspergers does not equate to self-centerdness.  

 

You're quite right, Tanktimus. That didn't come across the way I meant it at all.

 

Having Aspergers does not make someone selfish or in any way less worthy of love, understanding, and respect than the rest of us. The fact that these two are self-centred is not causally related in any way to the fact I think they may have Aspergers (and don't realize it).

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On 11/19/2019 at 7:30 PM, Elastigirl said:

Sorry you are  dealing with it. I think you are fine to say you don't want to go. I also like how you told Brandt that you want him to stick up for you. That's obviously super hard for me, he has a lifetime of just trying to ignore it, but it is still good for you to  state that desire. I hate it when people use being "straight and honest" as an excuse to be hurtful.

Thanks E.G. I asked him last year and the year before. I didn't state it outright again this time (October and now), but he knows how I feel. I also realised, even though he has had a lifetime of dealing with it (well 51yrs), he still hates confrontations, especially with his mom, and it racks up his stress as well.
As soon as he heard that I'd spoken to her, he visibly relaxed. As much as I want him to stand up for me/us, as much as it would bring a stop to the nonsense (or at least lessen it), he is as much under the pressure as I am. Then again, she specifically talks to me either on the phone, or when he isn't around. So she is going about it behind his back. So him previously talking about situations didn't change anything except now she goes behind his back to comment.

On 11/19/2019 at 8:31 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

You learned to stand up for yourself with your own mother, and now you refuse to tolerate things from your MIL.

She'll complain about it later.

That's true, because I also stood up against Francoisana, and she hasn't brought up that conversation again.

Yes, m.i.l. will probably have a lot to say after the weekend. I guess I am also unhappy, because I don't want this from her. She knows the situation between my mom and I, and I expected m.i.l. to be different, because I've accepted her in the role as my mother.

 

On 11/20/2019 at 2:08 AM, Xena said:

True.

-------------

I'm sorry this is so hard. I can completely imagine the whole dynamic. It would be really nice if Brandt supported you in your decision, but I understand that we all get trapped in patterns when it comes to family.

And it hit me, as I mentioned to E.G. that even though he spoke to her on other occasions (after I've had to defend myself/the boys/our household many times) that the only change in her actions has been to now comment behind his back, when Brandt is either not in the room, not close by at all, or over the phone, where Brandt doesn't listen in. She never makes comments like these in front of him.

22 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

Ouch, I can see why you've opted for security measures rather than pay through the nose for insurance. It must be stressful to live in an area with such high crime. It's a long time since I've had a dog but I do remember that he knew when people were outside the house, even though we couldn't see or hear anything until they were much closer.

Our area still has the lowest crime rate stats for this town/city. This is the situation of the whole country, unfortunately. Police has already sent out warnings that 'Christmas/Holiday' season crimes are starting and they expect it to be higher than previous years.
The whole country has had issues this year with dog poisonings too. The investigative news channel even broadcasted an episode about it. Our area was also hard hit, but we are very, very lucky that none of our dogs were poisoned! We've had at least ten incidences in a 1km radius around our house this year, that I can remember. The dogs are poisoned, and within that same week the house are broken into. Our dogs sleep inside the house. When we go out, I usually let them stay outside (if sunny), but while we are home, they are able to come and go as they please. They are part of our family/pack, and we believe, therefore looks after us, to protect us, as part of the pack.

22 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

I have reached the point (after many years of trying to find a way to deal with them equitably) where I just avoid them as much as possible. I've exhausted all the options (that I can think of) to change their attitude.

I've learned about boundaries and people here on NF. I've now cut some people out of my life because of them constantly having pushed me to do what I don't want to do. There is another family now whose son I'm not going to allow to come here any more, at least not frequently. And I'm not going to allow the boys to play there, either.

13 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

Having Aspergers does not make someone selfish or in any way less worthy of love, understanding, and respect than the rest of us. The fact that these two are self-centred is not causally related in any way to the fact I think they may have Aspergers (and don't realize it).

Yes, true. But... I see a lot of families who are struggling with their kids who have Aspergers, and they sometimes just allow that child to have his way, thus the child becomes selfish and self-centred, because it is just easier to let the child be (at times), than to try and enforce rules/manners. The boys have one such boy in Lego class, but both the teacher and the mom of the boy is very strict on him. Then this other boy who comes to play computer games here, who I recently had trouble with... he actually doesn't have Aspergers, but is dyslexic. At home he seems to be getting away with anything. I don't allow it here. We've also previously had friends with kids with Aspergers, and at home the one boy could do basically what he wanted, but he knew in my home I had rules. The kids were a lot younger, and he usually listened to me, whereas he threw tantrums like crazy at his own home. So ... those family members you mentioned might have Aspergers, and Aspergers as such isn't the cause of their actions, but the way they were raised, or maybe they were allowed to get away with things, which taught them that bad behaviour.

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Week 4 - Wednesday:

:dog: De-stress: Yes! Morning coffee. Chat with Brandt who is much more relaxed.

:dog: Finances: Nothing yet.

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143

:dog: Walking: Yes! 4.9km in cool weather. But I was ravenous afterwards.

:dog: Dog run: Played inside with Zuzu, but only for a short while. Adam played with him some more.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Was ravenous after my walk. Bought samoosas and spring rolls at the shop, while waiting for the boys to finish Lego. I've realised that I've cut on my food, but I'm getting a bit hungry at times. That is when I buy wrong foods, or nibble on things. So have a look at how much I'm eating, and always make sure that I have something meaty to nibble on.
  • Water/Tea: We've cleaned our water filters, but water is still dusty. Then read that a lot of mud got into the municipal water pipes when they fixed the broken pipes over the weekend. So, that might be how it got into our tanks too, as we forgot to pump water to the top tank and it drew from the municipal pipe. Brandt now pumps water to the top tank every other day. Bought clean, filtered water from Oasis shop for household anyway, so drinking that now.
  • Coffee: Back to four mugs. Yes, this is ok again.

:dog: Measurements: Weighed on Tuesday and Wednesday morning, because my belt could be tightened more, and I seem to have lost another 1kg. Stood on 96.9kg!

 

I was however bloated, with cramps last night from the samoosa and spring roll, so ... will see what the scale says next week.

 

Also received a lot of documentation back which we've requested. Brandt other degree's transcript, and a quote for translation of official documentation into English. Yikes! R5000 for +-11 pages to be officially (accredited) translated from Afrikaans to English! The lady is coming to our province (Durban beach) next week on holiday, so she said she could do the translation beforehand, bring the documents with her, and I could collect in Durban (the same weekend that I'm NOT going away), instead of extra courier fees to fetch. There are probably other people who can do this, but she came highly recommended on the emigration group on Fb. Brandt told me to go ahead with it. I've uploaded visa photos, these extra documents, etc. Still a couple more docs that need to be sorted.

 

I've also arrange to sell my 2nd hand math books (Life of Fred that we've moved past), and buy 2nd hand LOF books (to use late next year) from parents who happen to live out of town. As it happens, I might have to collect those books in Durban, on THAT weekend as well. :D So it seems everything is happening next weekend now. Just as well that I'm not going away.

 

Today is a really sunny day! I expected as much yesterday when the mist came in so thick driving home from Lego, that we could only see about 10-20m in front of us. I have to run various errands for Brandt and home today and tomorrow. Adam will also have his first riding lesson in nearly a month, today.

 

I also have a new book to proof read by the end of the weekend.

 

Have to rush out now.

Chat again soon.

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Sorry its been a rough couple of weeks, Elize. But I just want to say how proud I am of you for standing up to your M.I.L. It's so easy just to keep going along and doing it just because you feel like you have to. For the same reason, I have chosen not to go to M's family for Christmas. Its awkward, I never feel like I can truly relax, and I don't know them all well enough to feel like I'm with 'family'. So this time, I choose to stay home, or maybe go to my Dads, but he isn't going to 'do Christmas'. Not even going to cook Christmas Dinner, but at least I can curl up in the corner with a book and not have to constantly present a face to the world. 

 

I hope Brandt starts to understand where you are coming from. *hugs*

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2 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Our area still has the lowest crime rate stats for this town/city. This is the situation of the whole country, unfortunately. Police has already sent out warnings that 'Christmas/Holiday' season crimes are starting and they expect it to be higher than previous years.
The whole country has had issues this year with dog poisonings too...

 

That sounds like a constant source of worry. I've heard you mention the idea of emigrating. Is this one of the reasons?

 

3 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I've learned about boundaries and people here on NF. I've now cut some people out of my life because of them constantly having pushed me to do what I don't want to do. There is another family now whose son I'm not going to allow to come here any more, at least not frequently. And I'm not going to allow the boys to play there, either.

 

That is one of the (many) great things about NF.

 

I had to learn that one myself (about boundaries) and I still face criticism for keeping my distance. But if they're going to manipulate me and try to interfere in my marriage then I no longer have any time for them.

 

3 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Yes, true. But... I see a lot of families who are struggling with their kids who have Aspergers, and they sometimes just allow that child to have his way, thus the child becomes selfish and self-centred, because it is just easier to let the child be (at times), than to try and enforce rules/manners. The boys have one such boy in Lego class, but both the teacher and the mom of the boy is very strict on him. Then this other boy who comes to play computer games here, who I recently had trouble with... he actually doesn't have Aspergers, but is dyslexic. At home he seems to be getting away with anything. I don't allow it here. We've also previously had friends with kids with Aspergers, and at home the one boy could do basically what he wanted, but he knew in my home I had rules. The kids were a lot younger, and he usually listened to me, whereas he threw tantrums like crazy at his own home. So ... those family members you mentioned might have Aspergers, and Aspergers as such isn't the cause of their actions, but the way they were raised, or maybe they were allowed to get away with things, which taught them that bad behaviour. 

 

That explains what I was trying to get at far better than I did. What's frustrating is that no-one else seems willing to set those boundaries in order to help them learn.

 

In any case, it's good news that Brandt seems more relaxed and I hope that he also starts to see the value in having boundaries.

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3 hours ago, Rhovaniel said:

Sorry its been a rough couple of weeks, Elize. But I just want to say how proud I am of you for standing up to your M.I.L. It's so easy just to keep going along and doing it just because you feel like you have to. For the same reason, I have chosen not to go to M's family for Christmas. Its awkward, I never feel like I can truly relax, and I don't know them all well enough to feel like I'm with 'family'. So this time, I choose to stay home, or maybe go to my Dads, but he isn't going to 'do Christmas'. Not even going to cook Christmas Dinner, but at least I can curl up in the corner with a book and not have to constantly present a face to the world. 

 

I hope Brandt starts to understand where you are coming from. *hugs*

Thanks Rho. That means a lot to me.

I really hope you have a peaceful time, wherever you spend your Christmas, so that you can recharge your batteries and get some well deserved rest. I just hope his family totally forgets about the idea to spend Christmas at our house this year. Brandt won't encourage it, but he'll probably say yes if I don't give a vehement and very aggressive NO! We discussed it in July on our way back from Sabie then, and I gave him as much of my opinion and feelings as I could with two big eared boys in the back of the car, listening to every word. We spend Christmas at our own home every year, because 1. Brandt hates travelling that time of the year, and 2. we have actually come to enjoy the peace and quiet. We don't make a big thing of it either, and luckily because it is summer, cold meat and salads, as well as fruit and ice cream are in.

3 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

That sounds like a constant source of worry. I've heard you mention the idea of emigrating. Is this one of the reasons?

Yes. Yes safety is definitely a big part of the reason. Everyday safety against criminals, but also political safety.  There are political parties openly shouting for the killing of whites and nothing is done against them. Even our Human Rights Commission doesn't act against them, except if other parties take them to court. Unfortunately also the direction our government has been going towards the last 20+ years, and accelerated the last 3+yrs. With new laws being pushed through that state people's property/land can be taken without compensation, and no other reason than the government wants it, as well as minority groups being pushed out of certain (tertiary) education (at the moment) and job prospects, it is becoming more and more difficult to go on. Everyone in the country are affected, except high officials in government. Our government is exceptionally corrupt. :(

3 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

In any case, it's good news that Brandt seems more relaxed and I hope that he also starts to see the value in having boundaries.

There has been times that he stood up and talked out against his mom and his brother, in particular. Unfortunately I'm blamed for that as well. But he stood up for us, the boys, and that is what counts. It's been easier for him to just ignore things, but maybe. Maybe with everything chafing he'll realise that having boundaries is better. I'm also still learning that I can allow that boundaries, that I'm not in the wrong by wanting those boundaries. But I want those boundaries because they stop me from being hurt. He isn't being hurt, he isn't really affected, except if I talk to him about it, and try to tell him how it hurts me. So *shrug* I really don't know. He also doesn't talk easily so I sometimes are at a real loss for what he feels.

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Woohoo for the weight loss. And it sounds like a good idea to keep snacks that support that goal around for when you want something

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23 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

...and always make sure that I have something meaty to nibble on. 

 

I'm also looking for this kind of snack. Apparently pork rinds and beef jerky are good, but I haven't found them in the shops yet.

 

18 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

With new laws being pushed through that state people's property/land can be taken without compensation, and no other reason than the government wants it...

 

I hadn't realized things had got so bad. The last time I heard about this sort of law being put in place was in Zimbabwe with Mugabe.

 

18 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Our government is exceptionally corrupt

 

Again and again, a country's problems can be traced back to this issue.

 

18 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Maybe with everything chafing he'll realise that having boundaries is better. I'm also still learning that I can allow that boundaries, that I'm not in the wrong by wanting those boundaries. But I want those boundaries because they stop me from being hurt. He isn't being hurt, he isn't really affected, except if I talk to him about it, and try to tell him how it hurts me. So *shrug* I really don't know. He also doesn't talk easily so I sometimes are at a real loss for what he feels. 

 

It sounds as if he really doesn't like conflict. I recognize that in myself, so I do have some empathy here. However, also, I realize that I have to do better in this regard---Steve Kamb's concept of "20 seconds of courage" really helps with this one. I'm also not one to talk easily but, again, that's often to avoid conflict.

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20 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Woohoo for the weight loss. And it sounds like a good idea to keep snacks that support that goal around for when you want something

Thanks, I'm hoping it sticks, or doesn't stick. :D

2 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

I'm also looking for this kind of snack. Apparently pork rinds and beef jerky are good, but I haven't found them in the shops yet.

We call beef jerky, biltong. Traditional South African snack :D I bought biltong, dry wors, and cabanossi (like dry wors, but a smoky red meat, rather than the normal dark meat of biltong) for the family again today. I also repackaged it in 50g small brown paper bags (plastic makes it sweat and go bad), and the boys, and Brandt know only one bag per day (I'm not their favourite person when I do this). Pork rinds are good, and you can easily make it yourself. If your butchery sells raw pork rind, then you can cut them in strips and bake them in your oven. You can keep it in an airtight container in the fridge. Play around with seasonings when you bake them.

We always have carrots in the fridge, so I really just need to get one out (depending on size), maybe cut in rings, put in a container, and I can munch on them too. Same with sweat peas/sugar snap peas, and cucumbers.

I'm also going to make some Fathead sausage rolls (tonight I'll fill them with a beef meatball mixture for dinner), or I can make Fathead crackers. There really are a lot of options, I must just do it.

2 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

The last time I heard about this sort of law being put in place was in Zimbabwe with Mugabe.

Yes, they're following in his footsteps. It came out now that they supported Mugabe all the time.

 

Week 4 - Thursday:

:dog: De-stress: Morning coffee, afternoon reading while Adam rode.

:dog: Finances: Nothing yet.

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143

:dog: Walking: Wednesday, nothing else.

:dog: Dog run: Played inside with Zuzu a bit.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Nothing untoward.
  • Water/Tea: Had water. Not enough, but more than previously.
  • Coffee: On par.

:dog: Measurements: Done.

 

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Zechariah 4:6

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Week 4 - Friday:

:dog: De-stress: Relaxed a little bit during the afternoon.

:dog: Finances: Nothing yet.

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143

:dog: Walking: Wednesday, nothing else.

:dog: Dog run: Played on the stoep. He chased the "Water Dragon".

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Nothing untoward.
  • Water/Tea: 1+ Bottle.
  • Coffee: On par.

:dog: Measurements: Done.

 

Vacuumed all the floors. Washed the rubber mats that we use for the dogs to lie on, as well as our yoga/exercise mats. Zuzu loves chasing the water spray. We have one of those 'gun' heads that you put on the front of the hosepipe, then you turn the nozzle to set it to spray wide and soft or narrow and hard. Zuzu chased this "water dragon" the whole time. He (and I) was sopping wet by the time I finished scrubbing all the mats. The rest of cleaning the house is on par.

 

Had a lot of errands to run, which I did. Some typing, done. Started on proof reading, finished Saturday evening. Can't remember what else.

 

Saturday: Brandt went to a rally on the south coast. I donated blood (68th time), got a small 6 pack size round cooler bag as gift, because they are trying to get more people to donate before official holiday season starts. Blood pressure - normal (100/84), heart rate 76, iron levels - normal 13.2. The sister gave me the usual juice box and biscuits (I gave the latter to the boys), but told me to drink more juice for energy and it was better than tea to keep me going. I bought a 500ml freshly squeezed orange juice, no added sugars of any kind. Drank about half of it, then diluted the rest with water, and later drank that as well. Unfortunately due to the hot day, the blood donation caught up with me that afternoon, and I fell asleep for about 2hrs when I got home. Did the laundry, did not cook. We ate leftovers and I just relaxed most of the day. Today is Sunday. I slept in, and I cooked. Updated our CVs, updated other documents.

 

It was the third night in a row that I had a weird dream about New Zealand. I can only remember the first night's dream.

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Aww hopefully a good sign on the dreams!!!

 

But your goals of keeping room for the good has me thinking. Have to remind myself your going into Summer as soups look good here in the cold. Has me usually thinking on how I can apply to myself... Sugar free jerky is tricky here in Minnesota (as my bf says, Americans just cover up all the meat). To me it sounds like you have it well part of the diet. 

Keeping fathead recipe just to say I cooked something with fathead one day. 

 

Also yay for bonuses on giving blood! A reminder though of the lack of healthier options when it comes to getting back on track (though personally I think a natural body response not loaded on sugar would be to sleep...). I personally stopped years ago after one too many fainting spells (not enough food beforehand...) May look into it one day when things calm down. 

 

 

May the next day be better after hopefully good sleep! 

 

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On 11/22/2019 at 1:06 PM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

We call beef jerky, biltong. Traditional South African snack :D I bought biltong, dry wors, and cabanossi (like dry wors, but a smoky red meat, rather than the normal dark meat of biltong) for the family again today. I also repackaged it in 50g small brown paper bags (plastic makes it sweat and go bad), and the boys, and Brandt know only one bag per day (I'm not their favourite person when I do this). Pork rinds are good, and you can easily make it yourself. If your butchery sells raw pork rind

 

There are surprisingly few butchers around here. I'm going to have to work harder at finding a good one. Everyone buys their meat from the supermarket nowadays.

 

On 11/22/2019 at 1:06 PM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I'm also going to make some Fathead sausage rolls

 

I hadn't heard of Fathead pastry before. That definitely looks as if it's worth making.

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___

 

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___

 

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12 hours ago, LovelyBouncer said:

Aww hopefully a good sign on the dreams!!!

 

But your goals of keeping room for the good has me thinking. Have to remind myself your going into Summer as soups look good here in the cold. Has me usually thinking on how I can apply to myself... Sugar free jerky is tricky here in Minnesota (as my bf says, Americans just cover up all the meat). To me it sounds like you have it well part of the diet. 

Keeping fathead recipe just to say I cooked something with fathead one day. 

 

Also yay for bonuses on giving blood! A reminder though of the lack of healthier options when it comes to getting back on track (though personally I think a natural body response not loaded on sugar would be to sleep...). I personally stopped years ago after one too many fainting spells (not enough food beforehand...) May look into it one day when things calm down. 

 

 

May the next day be better after hopefully good sleep! 

I love soups, and hubby and oldest son will definitely eat it with me, but my youngest is a pain to cook for.

All the food tips and tricks I'm falling back on, came from our time when we followed Banting (like keto or paleo) very strictly, a couple years ago. We're heading back that way, except now I'm also taking into account that we don't have to keep to set meal times, we eat when we are hungry. I don't easily include starches, but fats make up for that, and actually keeps us fuller for longer.

 

I used too much cream cheese in the fathead dough, so it came out rather sticky. One trick which does work, is to wet the roller, or spoon, which I used to flatten out the sticky dough with. I only topped the sausages with the dough, didn't roll them in it, but it came out delicious! Even Rocco loved it. Also made the crackers. They were a bit thicker than supposed to as I couldn't get the dough thin enough (couldn't roll it out due to it being sticky), but they were thus a bit more 'bready'. Was also very good with a thin layer of butter spread on top, otherwise too dry for us.

8 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

There are surprisingly few butchers around here. I'm going to have to work harder at finding a good one. Everyone buys their meat from the supermarket nowadays.

The same thing is happening here. I actually only go to one butcher for our biltong and dry wors. I do buy some of our (human) meat there, but they are very expensive. I buy all our pets' mince there, as this butcher makes an ideal mixture. Most of the time I buy from the butchery inside the supermarkets. Over the years I've come to know the manager, and have asked for certain cuts. Luckily there were other people who also asked, and now it is a regular cut, like the pork skin/ belly fat. Here they now specifically label some of those cuts "Banting", which is the South African equivalent of keto or paleo. And of course along with "healthier" or special package/items, comes a price increase. Par for the course.

 

Week 5 - Monday:

:dog: De-stress: No alone time.

:dog: Finances: Others, not this :(

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143 hah where is the 200 I wanted to reach?

:dog: Walking: Still to come.

:dog: Dog run: He ran like crazy all on his own for a while. He is slowly but surely getting a waist! I saw a faint indentation in that area today.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Was good.
  • Water/Tea: Had water. Nearly 2Lt.
  • Coffee: On par.

:dog: Measurements: Done. Definitely came down some more. Weighed 96.3kg this morning. All body measurements are down between 1cm and 2cm in places: middle, butt, hips down 2cm each; thighs down 1cm each. Muscle? I don't know, but I can definitely still pick up a full 25Lt water drum.

 

Today was crazy! The telephone (landline) kept ringing during the morning. I wanted to ignore it, but eventually just answered to get people to stop phoning! I got so many emails (docs, invoices, accounts, reply from accountant, etc.) that I couldn't get to everything.

 

After school work, I had to rush to town to buy a new lock for our front/outside gate. I couldn't unlock it on Sunday, when I came back from town, and Brandt had to cut it with the grinder. It was a special outside security lock with hardened shaft, so you can't cut it with handheld metal cutters. Didn't get one as high level or expensive again, but still good on the 'security level' scale, according to the manufacturer.

 

Found out that there are still two swimming lessons left for December, one fencing lesson in December, and probably riding lessons. The boys and I are all a bit disappointed, but then again, today was such a hot day, that the boys will enjoy their time in the pool at least. I think the teachers/coaches are doing what they can to increase the time to bring in money, keep kids busy, and out of parents' hair. This is our longest school holiday throughout the country, from middle next week till around middle January?

 

Rocco is now unsure about whether he wants to go up to granny this weekend or not. She phoned last night saying that two families are now not going. They have 'last minute' other plans. So no kids for Rocco to play with. She made arrangements with Brandt; I'm not getting involved in any way. Rocco is unsure because 1. he doesn't want to miss swimming (and also fencing he says now), 2. what will he do all by himself up there? He'll only be able to take his tablet, none of the computers *gasp*!

 

Gardener came to work with a huge bump on his cheek. Another infection or something. He said his shoulder and neck was swollen throughout the weekend, and he was in pain. Sounds like he'd gone to see a 'traditional healer'. I just said 'mmm'. He then asked whether I thought it was a good idea that he rather go see a doctor at the provincial hospital clinic, and I again said 'mmm... Yes, probably a better idea."

 

Vacuumed all the floors. Washed the front rooms and kitchen floors. Boys did all the dusting. I started some laundry, but forget later in the day. Will continue tomorrow. We also received our pillows that I ordered last week! Memory foam, airflow, contoured pillows for the boys and I. I think this might solve some of my neck/shoulder pain issues, and I'm hoping it will help the boys with their headaches and neck pains that they've had recently. Brandt didn't want a new pillow, but opted to have my 'old' pillow as backup.

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12 minutes ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

The same thing is happening here. I actually only go to one butcher for our biltong and dry wors. I do buy some of our (human) meat there, but they are very expensive. I buy all our pets' mince there, as this butcher makes an ideal mixture. Most of the time I buy from the butchery inside the supermarkets. Over the years I've come to know the manager, and have asked for certain cuts. Luckily there were other people who also asked, and now it is a regular cut, like the pork skin/ belly fat. Here they now specifically label some of those cuts

I had to re-read this  to figure out your were talking bout buying meat for your family vs your pets,🙂

Those pillows look interesting. You'll have to let me know how they work

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2 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I had to re-read this  to figure out your were talking bout buying meat for your family vs your pets,🙂

Those pillows look interesting. You'll have to let me know how they work

 

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10 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

I had to re-read this  to figure out your were talking bout buying meat for your family vs your pets,🙂

Those pillows look interesting. You'll have to let me know how they work

Sorry, that was badly written. Yip indeed I meant buying meat for us, vs. for the pets. I guarantee that humans are safe and not being consumed in our household. :D

 

The pillow is the same width (or is that length? from left to right) as a normal pillow, but top to bottom (not thickness) it's smaller. It is also not as thick as the previous shaped pillow I had, but it has two edges that are formed and thicker than the rest of the pillow. I used the thickest part under my neck. It is a lot harder than the previous shaped pillow (which wasn't memory foam), and also harder than the standard memory foam pillow I have been sleeping on this last year. But I slept like a baby. Well I slept through until Rocco woke me up, but that story will follow just now. For now, no stiff neck when waking up, and the 'buttons' (for lack of a better word in my head at the moment), on the pillow, does indeed give more airflow, so you don't sweat as much, and it definitely doesn't get on the pillow(case) as much. I'll see how it feels by the end of the week, then let you know.

 

As I mentioned to E.G. above, Rocco woke me up during the night. He actually sleep walked. I got such a fright. When I woke up, he asked me in English (!) what would I do if he decided to stay? What would we do? I looked at him and yes, it was just before 3am, so the first word out of my mouth was "huh?" I asked him in Afrikaans what he was talking about, and why was he talking to me in English. He walked to the bottom end of the bed, turned around and said, "wat?, maar wat gaan gebeur as ek bly?" (What? But what will happen if I stay?) and then walked out of the bedroom, got back in his bed, and promptly fell fast asleep. And I definitely didn't dream it, because Adam called from their bedroom that he could hear us whispering, which he remembered this morning. Rocco didn't remember anything.

 

I spoke to Brandt, told him about the nightly visit, which he didn't wake up to, and we concurred that Rocco should stay. So when I woke him up this morning, gave him a couple minutes to throw the sleep off, then told him that we've decided that he'll be staying and not going up with his dad. Brandt was standing next to me. Rocco just looked from me to Brandt, and we explained to him what happened last night. Told him that we think he is so split in two about making the choice, that we've now, after last night, decided for him. And he was fine with it! He asked me a couple questions, to understand what had happened, and why something like that happens. Told him about his subconscious working and thinking while he was sleeping, and he is now happy. No problem with having to stay. So that's that. Brandt is fine with having to go up alone. He'll be taking the Uno, leaving the roll cage in, because he wants to ask some of his forester friends (old colleagues) whether he could drive around the plantations a bit.

 

I hope today is going to be a lot calmer than yesterday. I also think I'm going to take a 15min. power nap before continuing with anything. I was so shaken after Rocco woke me up that it took me quite some time to fall asleep again.

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15 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I do buy some of our (human) meat there, but they are very expensive

 

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.

 

5 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

He actually sleep walked. I got such a fright. When I woke up, he asked me in English (!) what would I do if he decided to stay? What would we do?

 

The poor lad had obviously been thinking about it a lot. It sounds as if he's very responsible and has a lot of empathy.

 

5 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

So that's that

 

Hopefully things will be more settled now that those decisions have been made.

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10 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Sorry, that was badly written. Yip indeed I meant buying meat for us, vs. for the pets. I guarantee that humans are safe and not being consumed in our household. :D

 

No need to apologize, it made me giggle.

 

Interesting how I dreams we try and work things out.Glad you all came to a decision about Rocco  and the trip

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22 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.

:D ;) exactly!

22 hours ago, The Hero of Time said:

The poor lad had obviously been thinking about it a lot. It sounds as if he's very responsible and has a lot of empathy.

He is, and he does. Still takes chances as just boys will do, and a bit more of a rascal than his older brother, although... hmmm... they are switching around a bit. Adam is again becoming a bit more of a prankster, well trying to give me a fright at times, while Rocco is developing his quieter side. But I am really proud of both boys. I can depend on them, and they know they earn privileges through acting responsibly.

16 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

No need to apologize, it made me giggle.

 

Interesting how I dreams we try and work things out.Glad you all came to a decision about Rocco  and the trip

Yip, I think that was what my NZ dreams were about too. But I don't sleep walk (as far as I know). Both Adam and Rocco sleep walked as little boys at one time or another. I actually gave myself a hard talking to, because I didn't pick up that he was having such a hard time to decide.

 

Week 5 - Tuesday:

:dog: De-stress: No alone time. Also didn't take a power nap early morning.

:dog: Finances: Others, not this :(

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143 Just... just... oh nothing...

:dog: Walking: Will do today!

:dog: Dog run: It was too hot!

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Had ice cream with chocolate sauce - it was hot +36C.
  • Water/Tea: Had water. +2Lt!
  • Coffee: On par.

:dog: Measurements: Done. I've lost between 3-4kg for the challenge! In my notes (my private book) I wrote that on Saturday before the challenge started, I weighed 100.3kg. On the Monday I weighed 99.6kg. Now I'm 96.3kg. I'm taking it from the 100.3kg mark. 4kg = 8.8Lbs.

 

Going to put my tackies/tekkies on now, to walk while the boys do Lego. I'll catch up with you all later tonight.

*hugs*

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Congrats on the weight loss!

 

giphy.gif

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1 hour ago, Elastigirl said:

Congrats on the weight loss!

 

giphy.gif

:D Thank you!

 

Week 5 - Wednesday:

:dog: De-stress: Took an hour nap this afternoon. Things became a bit too much.

:dog: Finances: Others, not this :( Same old...

:dog: Burpees: Nothing yet.

  • Pushups: 143 Same old...

:dog: Walking: 3km in very hot midday sun. Even Dy mentioned it was extremely hot (close to 40C), so I stuck to the 50% shady path. Did 3x1km and then the 300m in and out the driveway, so 3.3km in total. I was hit by heat exhaustion when I got home, but other things too.

:dog: Dog run: It was too hot! Even worse today.

:dog: Food:

  • No/Low Gluten, Starch, Sugar: Had a slice of pizza and a caramel muffin, because Lego End of Year Party. Also Coo-ee Cola which we got free at the petrol station.
  • Water/Tea: Had water. 2Lt+ Drinking from 3rd bottle for the day right now.
  • Coffee: Only 3 mugs till now. Maybe another one a little later, but I don't think so.

:dog: Measurements: Done.

 

After my walk I was really tired, mostly due to the heat. While waiting for the boys to finish up, I had my Lego treats checking on messages. Remember I told you guys about our friend who left for NZ two weeks ago? He and his wife came by to say good bye? Well he got a job offer, and she is leaving end of January 2020 to join him! I had very mixed feelings. On the one hand I was very happy for them, but on the other hand I felt so, so down. I nearly started crying, but I told myself to suck it up.

 

The drive to and from Lego was also tiring; I have to really concentrate because (after these storms) we have so many (more) potholes in the streets. I'm actually driving on a section now that is a broad dirt road between the farms, because it is in better condition than the tar roads to the Lego place. Then also the pass I have to drive up/down, where there are almost always livestock in the road at some point. Anyway... tired, heat exhaustion... I cooked and sorted out what I could when I got home (translation documents, etc.), and then went to lie down for an hour. I felt much better, more collected when I got up. I really felt like my emotions were going to boil over. To explain how confused or out of my head I was, the translation lady asked that I have the original documents ready tomorrow when they drive past our town. I know I kept those documents with me, in the NZ folder I created, but I couldn't seem to find it. I took out this stash of documents, kept looking at it, kept paging through it, but couldn't see the documents I were looking for! I went through the cupboard with our documents from years past, took out boxes, looked through nearly everything, and after searching for nearly half an hour, went back to the original stack of documents. And finally realised I was looking at them. Those were the right ones!

 

Brandt is also out of sorts these last two days. He was home very early yesterday and today (between 4-5pm! Normal time is 5h30-6pm). He is frustrated about something, but doesn't want to talk about it. Just says he wants to build and finish his car.

 

Because I'm out of routine in the mornings, I'm not getting to my exercises. The boys have been wanting to start earlier with school work these last two weeks, because they are only allowed on the computers after school work is done. So that throws my routine out. I'm flopping around to get things done; walk to the back room to get the laundry, to fold it, then forget why I'm there. Walk to the kitchen to do stuff, then stand around wondering why I was there? I am really looking forward to this break!

 

Whenever the next challenge starts, I'm just going to take it as it comes. I'm not going to try and do exercises, or go for something, I'm just going to see what I'm up to and (as Tank said in his thread) award myself a pat on the back for trying, for starting an exercise.

Monkey Business

MONKEYS.jpg.788cb61c95e48310d6134b4890f01462.jpg

 

There were altogether about 8 monkeys on the climbing frame, 9th one ran back to the avo tree on the left, and probably about 10 more in the surrounding trees.

Rocco had dragged those branches to the climbing frame to make it his 'fort' using 'natural camouflage'. This was last week when the neighbours had their trees cut down.

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I'm Not sure "thanksgiving" holiday has much of an international outreach.

 

but tomarrow is that Holiday in the USA; a day to be grateful for what we have.

 

the day has a tradition of being a day of peace between some Native Americans and the Pilgrams when our country was being colonized.

 

... at any rate, its a good thing to reflect upon some.  things can be anxious and tense.  but in the midst of difficulties; still we have much to be grateful for.

 

I'm grateful for (specifically) the many people here on NF that have lent me their support and I thought I would reach out a little to express some gratitude 

 

Thank you!

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, TGP said:

I'm Not sure "thanksgiving" holiday has much of an international outreach.

 

but tomarrow is that Holiday in the USA; a day to be grateful for what we have.

 

the day has a tradition of being a day of peace between some Native Americans and the Pilgrams when our country was being colonized.

 

... at any rate, its a good thing to reflect upon some.  things can be anxious and tense.  but in the midst of difficulties; still we have much to be grateful for.

 

I'm grateful for (specifically) the many people here on NF that have lent me their support and I thought I would reach out a little to express some gratitude 

 

Thank you!

We know about Thanksgiving, but it wasn't taken up here in SA. Black Friday on the other hand, has.

We do have our own day that was similar to Thanksgiving. It is on 16 December every year, and is also a public holiday. It was historically started as The Day of the Vow, by the Afrikaans speaking people, to thank God for what we have, thank Him for protecting us, leading us, and always being there for us, after a huge battle that was fought. It was changed in 1994 to the Day of Reconciliation, and has lost all meaning, even for what it stands for today.

 

 

 

What I am thankful for this morning, is that Brandt and the boys just left to visit my mom. They took her birthday parcel (and her arthritis meds) with. The weather has also changed from scorching hot, to cool and misty. I am also thankful that we are finishing up school work today. I am thankful for a lot of things and I do mention it quite often, because that is the only thing that sometimes keeps you going, when negativity tries to take over.

 

Woke up with an old song of faith ringing through my head (Sy naam is Jahweh - Jan de Wet). It was quite nice doing dishes while softly singing this song to myself.

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On 11/27/2019 at 10:14 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

... they are switching around a bit. Adam is again becoming a bit more of a prankster, well trying to give me a fright at times, while Rocco is developing his quieter side.

 

This happened with my granddaughters over the past year or so. The elder used to be the shy one out of the two. Now it's switched around and she's quite confident while the younger has become the shy one.

 

On 11/27/2019 at 10:14 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

can depend on them, and they know they earn privileges through acting responsibly.

 

It sounds as if they're a credit to you.

 

On 11/27/2019 at 10:14 AM, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

I've lost between 3-4kg for the challenge! In my notes (my private book) I wrote that on Saturday before the challenge started, I weighed 100.3kg. On the Monday I weighed 99.6kg. Now I'm 96.3kg. I'm taking it from the 100.3kg mark. 4kg = 8.8Lbs.

 

Over 2lbs a week is really good going. You should be pleased with that.

 

15 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

The drive to and from Lego was also tiring; I have to really concentrate because (after these storms) we have so many (more) potholes in the streets. I'm actually driving on a section now that is a broad dirt road between the farms, because it is in better condition than the tar roads to the Lego place. Then also the pass I have to drive up/down, where there are almost always livestock in the road at some point.

 

This reminds of driving across Scotland at night. Long stretches of pristine tarmac with the occasional huge pothole that seems determined to take you by surprise. Then there's the bonus of a stag appearing in the headlights---he didn't seem to think there was any earthly reason he should move out of the road for us, and he kinda had a point.

 

3 hours ago, ElizeElvinFoxRyder said:

Sy naam is Jahweh - Jan de Wet

 

Am I right in thinking the first part translates as "Your name is Yahweh"? I've no idea what "Jan de Wet" means.

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1 hour ago, The Hero of Time said:

Over 2lbs a week is really good going. You should be pleased with that.

I am.

1 hour ago, The Hero of Time said:

This reminds of driving across Scotland at night. Long stretches of pristine tarmac with the occasional huge pothole that seems determined to take you by surprise. Then there's the bonus of a stag appearing in the headlights---he didn't seem to think there was any earthly reason he should move out of the road for us, and he kinda had a point.

:) Nice to hear animals are the same world over.

1 hour ago, The Hero of Time said:

Am I right in thinking the first part translates as "Your name is Yahweh"? I've no idea what "Jan de Wet" means.

Almost... it translates to "His name is Yahweh", and Jan (name) de Wet (surname) is the singer (also a church minister). I listened to the whole album ( CD) I have of him now.

 

-----00-----

School is done for the year!

I need to make some decisions on a lot of things.

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