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Oromendur: Return to Bag End


oromendur

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Yes, I know. Sorry. I’m about a week and a half late to this party, which was almost enough to get me to just say [BLEEP] it, but that's stupid -- I had pretty good success last challenge (even if I didn't quite get around to my final post; I'll sort that out soon, I promise). So even though it's super late, I'm throwing up a challenge today, squeaking in under the wire before November 1st arrives with the force of a freight train.

 

 

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The past two months have been a long and wonderful series of adventures, but now I’m back in my own long-neglected hobbit hole, which probably needs as much clearing up as Bag End did after Sharkey's men had their way with it (sigh). So the main thrust of this challenge, aside from normal November shenanigans, is going to be getting my hobbit self and my hobbit hole back into a fit state. To this end, I am organizing my challenge efforts into four general tasks: MOVE, EAT, CLEAN, and WRITE. That should be more than enough to keep me busy until December :blink:

 

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MOVE: Keep my PAI score over 100 as many days as I possibly can. Since my recent adventures involved lots of hiking and hill walking and generally being out and about, I'm coming off a pretty active period, and I'm feeling pretty good. I would like to hold onto that feeling. Unfortunately there seems to be some sort of unfriendly force field surrounding my house that sucks me into inactivity, internet time-wasting, and general staring at the wall. To try and avoid this, I will post my PAI scores here once a week.

 

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EAT: Consume full portions of at least ten different freggies each week. This one is inspired by the Doodlie challenge. I got quite a good start on it this week while staying with my veggie-mad friends in Boulder, so I've decided I might as well try and maintain that success and boost some momentum on my ultimate goal of eating more like a hobbit and less like an Orc. It will also conveniently bolster my efforts in support of Waffle Dominion :) I will list here all the different freggies I managed to eat once a week. 

 

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CLEAN: Tackle at least one big, messy, yucky job each week. I've been gone two months. The place, which wasn't exactly clean to begin with, is now crawling with ants; there is a pile of dust and bones that once was a dead mouse in the corner of the kitchen; spiderwebs crackle and tug every time I try and open every door; a thin film of dust coats every surface; there are things in the refrigerator dangerously close to developing sentience. I will mount an assault on this horrid mess, and post a before/after photo collage here once a week. 

 

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WRITE: Win NaNoWriMo. Simple. It's November. In November, I write a novel. This is just what I do. It's non-negotiable. I don't care how many job applications or chapter revisions or book proposals or hobbit challenges are clamoring for my attention, in November I write a novel. What's it about? No idea. Ask me tomorrow ;) I will list my NaNo word count here once a week. 

 

Normally on these challenges I try to give myself some sort of point goal, but I have found in the last few challenges that such an organization doesn't work as well as it once did; if I get behind on points, I put on my sea lawyer hat and come up with a way to get the points without doing what I said I was going to do, and if I get ahead i use it as an excuse not to do said things either. It's silly, but there you are. So, to make a change, I will not be adding up anything quantitative this time around. Instead I will report here as described above, in the hope that public announcements of my successes and failures will keep me honest. Maybe next time, once I can get my act together a bit, I'll be ready for some more goals-and-rewards action, but not right now.

 

Good luck to everyone else! I'm now going to go try and catch up on challenge threads this evening, before the meteor strikes at midnight :) 

  • Like 3

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

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[WEEK 1 UPDATE]

 

It's going to be a quick one this week because hundred thousand family GODS I have a lot of things to get through today...

 

MOVE: PAI points total/PAI points that day for the week (for reference, the max PAI you can earn in a day is 75, and the goal is to keep the running 7-day average over 100):

  • Mon 92/27
  • Tue 93/0
  • Wed 149/57
  • Thu 136-6
  • Fri 122/2
  • Sat 120/5
  • Sun 113/1

Can you tell which days I was in Boulder with active healthy friends and which days I was at home doing [BLEEP] all? Yeah. Me too. I woke up to a score of under 80 today, so if I can work it in I'm going to try and go for a short jog. It's not looking good though.

 

EAT: total 12 freggies (raisins, carrots, apples, romaine lettuce, grape tomatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, swiss chard, spinach, mangoes, iceberg lettuce, acorn squash). Yes, I'm counting iceberg lettuce. No, I don't want to talk about it. This is going to be MUCH harder now that I'm home and don't have active healthy friends cooking for me. Can I count the tomato sauce on last night's pizza? No, no I can't...

 

CLEAN: I was hoping for a nice before/after picture of the ant genocide in the kitchen, but, well, it's sort of still going on. So I'm afraid all you're going to get this week are before and during pictures, and I pledge to post a picture of a clean kitchen later. You know. Someday. If it ever happens...

 

Spoiler for pictures:

Spoiler

 

This is what I came home to:

 

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I pulled everything away from the walls and applied copious amounts of diatomaceous earth to every ant line I could find:

 

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That cleared things up enough that I vacuumed the kitchen, put everything back together, and ate pizza at my kitchen table on Sunday. But all it really did was drive the ants up onto the countertop, where they had a pizza party overnight near the toaster oven. So now the counters are getting the same treatment.

 

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It takes a day or so for the DE to kill them off, so I'll try and clean up again tomorrow and see where I am. I WILL post a picture of a clean kitchen, dammit!

 

WRITE: NaNo word count as of 11/3 is 5183. That's fine, I guess -- it's almost exactly on par -- but I'm struggling. 

 

<self-pitying digression> This is not good. This is the very beginning and I'm supposed to be flushed with excitement about my new story and typing like mad. The fact that it feels perfunctory and pointless already (it's only day 3 -- I'm not supposed to feel that way until the end of week 2, at least) is probably due to the exhaustion of the 2-month trip and the seventy bazillion other unpleasant things sucking away at my life force right now, but it's a real shame. This was always the part I enjoyed the most and I'm feeling a little cheated that I've had to go right to the unpleasant punishing slog without any 'fine furious rapture' to carry me through. Sigh. </self-pitying digression>

 

Still, I have a story that I didn't have before I sat down on Sunday morning (my plan to write at midnight was thwarted by the accidental good night's sleep I got when I sat down on my bed at about 7 pm to take my shoes off and woke up the next morning very well rested around 6). Fantasy world, nomadic eagle huntress meets Islamic steampunk son of missionaries, lots of sweeping steppe landscape, galloping horse and eagle action, nifty mechanical contraptions and bubbling alembics, some fun ruminations about the nature of God and how the idea affects people's relationship to the natural world. I'm trying to resist jumping right in to the inevitable love story, but I don't think I'm going to be able to for much longer :)

 

Overall I guess I mostly met my standards for Week 1; the ongoing battle with the ants over the cleanliness of the kitchen means that one is technically a failure, but it isn't a failure because I haven't been working on it, and that's really what counts. 

 

As an example of how crazy things are right now, here's what's on the docket for day 1 of week 2:

  • jump-start my car with battery backup
  • go to Costco and buy expensive groceries and a new battery for my car
  • jump-start my car again and drive to Aldi
  • buy more affordable groceries with what very little money I will have left after Costco takes most of it
  • jump-start my car again and drive home
  • install new battery in my car
  • eat some expensive groceries
  • start work on VERY EXTENSIVE revisions the peer reviewers are demanding for the book chapter I submitted last challenge, which are due in two weeks (!)
  • draft cover letter for job application for position that just appeared at my undergraduate alma mater (!!)
  • vacuum kitchen (again) and wait for ants to invade (again)
  • oh yeah, NaNo
  • wasn't I going to go for a run??? 

Anyway. November has arrived with all its madness and I seem to have skipped right to the bad part -- but I'll keep going. December will come. It always does.

 

Hope everyone else had a better Week 1!

  • Like 3

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

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Ants are an invading horde.

 

Write about killing the ants, and change the word kitchen counter to sweeping steppes and BAM! epic battle scene.

 

Addit: Mouse bones --> Mastodon bones. Your kitchen is competing with mine for the title of most condemnable atrocity.

 

  • Like 2

Level 3, Rebel

Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

My Fitness Pal Profile || NF Epic Quest Character Page || Instagram

Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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[WEEK 2 UPDATE]

 

This week's theme is going to be "I don't want to talk about it."

 

MOVE (total PAI/day's PAI, goal is to keep the 7-day average over 100):

Mon 92/4

Tue 104/12

Wed 41/1

Thu 38/4

Fri 37/2

Sat 32/1

Sun 47/16

Yeah, I don't want to talk about it.

 

EAT: 11 total freggies (spring mix/apple/acai/strawberry/banana/raisins/romaine lettuce/blueberries/yellow squash/zucchini/bell peppers/cherries. I suppose that's not awful -- it averages out to more than one per day -- but honestly, considering everything else I've eaten in excess, I don't think I want to talk about it. Note: I'm not counting the salsa that I had for dinner one night. No, that was it -- just chips and salsa and sour cream. And way too many G&Ts, but the limes don't count either. And then, for the first time in my lifelong enjoyment of spicy foods, I was sick with systemic gastric inflammation the entire next day. Did I mention I don't want to talk about it?

 

CLEAN: Well, I've reduced the ant invasion to a single entry point in the kitchen, and those little bastards have eaten through an ENTIRE BOX of poison baits and just still keep coming. I ordered another box from Amazon and I'll keep poisoning them until I run out of money -- but it's unlikely I'll be able to poison every ant in the super-colony that is Southern California. Let's just say I haven't made much progress on this front. I guess I did clean the DE off the counters, so maybe that counts? No, I don't think so, because there's a pile of compost stuff meant for the bokashi bucket which has been sitting on the same counter getting smellier and smellier for about five days running now, so that probably negates wiping up a bit of dust. No pictures this week. It's too embarrassing. I don't want to talk about it.

 

WRITE: NaNo word count as of Sunday 11/10 is 13530. All of the other superstar Adventurers are like "Yay! Halfway! 25k WOOHOO" and I'm over here like "Well, my deficit is only about 3k..." Sigh. I don't know why this is so hard this year. I'm not prepared to break my more-than-a-decade-long streak -- but the win (and I WILL win) is going to be very hard-fought. The story is going nowhere and everything is confused and I can't figure out what the characters even want. I'm pretty sure it's not worth the effort, but I'm going to do it anyway, because I'm a stubborn jarhead who does stupid things for no reason. But it's not making me very happy right now :(

 

Spoiler for more self-pitying bullshit:
 

Spoiler

 

To be honest, nothing is making me happy right now. Everything is far more of a struggle currently than I am honestly equipped to deal with. I was supposed to get home from my long trip and dive into the process of sorting out my life -- but instead I've just melted into some sort of dysfunctional mess.

 

I am having some health issues, which is not helping; I have relatively minor surgery scheduled for Monday the 18th that should hopefully improve things tremendously, but even that ended up being a huge stressor because the VA health system doesn't seem equipped to deal with single people, and so they won't keep me overnight but won't let me leave after sedation without a responsible person. I basically had to contact a bunch of friends I haven't seen in months and months until I found someone who could take off work on a random Monday and give me a ride from the inconvenient VA hospital location to the even more inconvenient location of my house. And oh yeah I have seven more job applications to send into the black hole of 'what the hell am I even thinking anyway.' And I have a chapter revision due next Monday which I haven't even started to look at. And NaNo is kicking my ass and the story is pointless and boring. And I'm having digestive issues on top of everything else. And the wretched toilet won't flush and the septic tank doesn't work anyway and now that I've changed the battery in the car the check engine light is on and I'm going to run out of money in March and seriously I just don't want to talk about it.

 

I'll get through it. I always do. None of these feelings are permanent. I've been through enough similar periods to know it's a mistake to believe any of the lying bullshit that comes out of my unreliable brain in these sorts of situations. But that's a fight too, one that has to be fought every day alongside all of the rest of them, and I'm getting tired, and more than a little bored with the whole exercise. 

 

 

Anyway. I'm still plugging away, and I will keep doing so. Although it is kind of embarrassing to so publicly announce my failures, I will do my best to keep posting weekly updates here, if only because it helps me realize that -- even though things seem overwhelming -- I am making small bits of progress.

 

I very seriously hope everyone else has had a better Week 2 :) 

  • Like 4

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

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On 11/4/2019 at 12:23 PM, Ann of Vries said:

Your NaNo project sounds amazing. :wub:

 

It would be even more amazing if it had anything resembling a plot :) 

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
On 11/4/2019 at 1:58 PM, Chris Tarly said:

Your kitchen is competing with mine for the title of most condemnable atrocity.

 

Yeah, kitchen atrocities are kind of a feature of NaNoWriMo :) Time enough to clean in December, right?

  • Like 1

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
7 hours ago, oromendur said:

Anyway. I'm still plugging away, and I will keep doing so. Although it is kind of embarrassing to so publicly announce my failures, I will do my best to keep posting weekly updates here, if only because it helps me realize that -- even though things seem overwhelming -- I am making small bits of progress.

 

I love that you post your failures. TBH, I don't always do a good enough job of posting my own. Internet life is pretty easy to make look amazing and to be out there and say, nope, I'm struggling, is a lot harder than people give it credit for. 

 

You've just has some really amazing adventures and that may be contributing to the digestive issues and the overall "bleh-ness" you seem to be feeling. I talked about this in another thread a few challenges ago - how getting back to normal after having a goal or something to look forward to can definitely lead to dissatisfaction or depression. Do you think this could be part of what is going on with you?

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2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

 

I love that you post your failures. TBH, I don't always do a good enough job of posting my own. Internet life is pretty easy to make look amazing and to be out there and say, nope, I'm struggling, is a lot harder than people give it credit for. 


 


Same. It’s one of the things I love about your posts.

 

2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

You've just has some really amazing adventures and that may be contributing to the digestive issues and the overall "bleh-ness" you seem to be feeling. I talked about this in another thread a few challenges ago - how getting back to normal after having a goal or something to look forward to can definitely lead to dissatisfaction or depression. Do you think this could be part of what is going on with you?

 

I’d believe it because I often feel that way after trips or other great experiences. 
 

Plus ants never help. 

 

In any case, we’re here for support and to help you kill it with fire if necessary. 

  • Like 1

Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

Character Sheet Training Logs Challenges Prepping for Adventure PrepAdventure Prep Fall BabyWhen Are We Again, Anyway?WhirlwindThe Leaf's LocusHarnessing Hamingja New Roots More Beginnings, More Roots Cleaning Up Facing The Hailstorm Yo Ho Yo The... Keto Life For Me? Taming the Beast Another Step Towards the Future Baking, Suburban Homesteading, and Health, The Adventurers of the Lucky Vale IIIIIIIVVVI, VII VIIIIX

Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

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10 hours ago, oromendur said:

 

It would be even more amazing if it had anything resembling a plot :) 

 

Goodness, have you read Erin Morgenstern’s story of how she wrote her best-selling The Night Circus “during NaNo?” It was more like several NaNos over several years of wandering and babbling until she finally wrote a version that started resemble a plot. Mostly because agents she’d been submitting earlier versions to thought it had a lot of amazing qualities, but the lack of a plot wasn’t one of them XD

 

So I’m saying, it’s okay that it doesn’t have a plot yet. It’s okay for NaNoWriMo to just be an exploration in hopes of finding one. <3 

  • Like 2

Druid and Adventurer

The Wye/Dean, UK

Epic Quest: Tales of Owlshire 
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17 hours ago, oromendur said:

This week's theme is going to be "I don't want to talk about it."

 

 

I tried to find an internet meme that had a couple guys with drinks in front of them and the caption said something like "Let's not talk about it together.", but it doesn't exist yet, or I can't find it, and I don't have time to make a meme.

 

It would have been hilarious.

  • Like 2

Level 3, Rebel

Currtent Challenge
Previously known as: Curl Brogo, Darwins_Demon, Vincent Van Bro

2020 Respawn Battle Log || Tarly's Ten Level Nutrition Plan

My Fitness Pal Profile || NF Epic Quest Character Page || Instagram

Weight Loss Quest: Start 270 lbs., Goal 199 lbs., Current 270 lbs., Waist: ,45.0 in., Bodyfat%: 33%

 

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[UPDATE: WEEKS 3 AND 4]

 

Well, I'm still alive. Last week's update was way at the bottom of the priority list and was one of the many, MANY things that didn't make it onto my much-reduced plate, but I've keen kind of desultorily plugging away at everything anyway. Here's the quick run-down:


MOVE (total PAI/daily PAI):

     Week 3: 62/19, 82/33, 82/1, 90/12, 92/3, 99/8, 86/2

     Week 4: 70/2, 62/26, 67/6, 57/2, 57/4, 123/75, 121/1

I got SO CLOSE on Saturday of week 3 (just from daily life, mind you, I haven't done any deliberate exercise since I left England), and then on Saturday of week 4 I went dancing for the first time since I got back. Will I be able to capitalize on the PAI cushion three hours of ballroom dancing gave me enough to do at least one more thing this week? Film at 11. (Spoiler: it's unlikely. But we'll see.)


EAT: 8 freggies in week 3 (romaine lettuce/carrots/grape tomatoes/cherries/banana/iceberg lettuce/beefsteak tomatoes/strawberries) and 8 in week 4 (banana/acorn squash/acai/strawberry/carrots/fruit cup/iceberg lettuce/grape tomatoes). I'm not quite sure about this whole modality -- the point, of course, would be to let the pressure of having to publicly post what I eat influence me in a positive way, but all it's doing right now is acting as a sobering indication of how truly crap my diet is.


CLEAN: Um. Well. I got nothin'. The ant farm I had going in the kitchen has eased off quite a bit, but I'm still feeding poison to a handful or so at a time, and I haven't gotten around to cleaning up the pile of tiny carcasses that has amassed along the floorboards. I guess I did clean my Nespresso machine today (for the first time since I returned, and it was NASTY). That should count as a baby step, even if I had to lift my feet over a dozen other atrocities in order to take it (sigh).

 

WRITE: NaNo word count: 24313 on Sunday 11/17 and 35420 on Sunday 11/24. It's nowhere near the greatest deficit I've overcome, but this is nowhere near a normal year, either. It's going to happen. I'll get to 50k through sheer stubbornness. I don't think I'll get anywhere near to 'The End,' and that's a shame (I really do like to discover the whole of the story during the month), but as a coherent plot still eludes every snare I set for it, I'm just going to chalk this year up to exploration of the character concept and call it good. My initial character idea has held steady, and my initial understanding of the themes is holding steady, but I just can't figure out the events that will make up the story, and the characters are doing a particularly shitty job of explaining it to me this year. I don't know why. Maybe I'm getting old and febrile, or maybe my mind is less intuitive than it used to be, or maybe I'm just too [BLEEP]ing tired to functionally process anything in my life right now. Anyway. I'll finish. It will be ugly, but I will win.

 

Spoiler for some complaining about medical stuff:
 

Spoiler

 

As I mentioned in my last update, I had minor surgery this past Monday. It was not a big huge scary deal or anything, but it did involve begging help from friends (which makes me miserable), and it involved anesthesia, which made it a significant physical stressor on my already-weak body. Everything seemed to be fine -- I got there, they processed me, I fell asleep when I was supposed to, I evidently woke up a bit early (they apparently would prefer you to wake in recovery, not the OR, but my body is particularly good at processing toxins, perhaps because it's had so much practice :unsure:), and I wasn't in any pain. The nurses in the OR wouldn't answer my question about how the surgery went, though, which made me a little nervous. When I got into recovery and had access to my phone again, I saw that the doctor had left me a voice mail. After listening to it, all hopped up on drugs and nervousness and anesthesia aftermath, I cried for about twenty minutes straight.

 

They didn't do it. After everything, after finally convincing them to do this procedure and holding out for MONTHS waiting for the date, after dreaming of this golden ticket that was almost guaranteed to reduce my incapacitating symptoms and give my life back, the machine they were using had a persistent alarm that prevented them from performing the procedure. I don't blame the doctor. It was a safety-related alarm. I know she did her best. When I did finally speak to her she told me she even broke protocol a bit and called the equipment rep while in surgery to see if there was anything else she could do. But, at the end of the day, I put myself through it all FOR NOTHING. There has been no change whatsoever in my symptoms and fighting against the crushing depression I've been shunting aside with the promise of this procedure has taken pretty much everything I have over the past week.

 

I'm still not quite over the disappointment. There's nothing I can do about it, so I will eventually get over it, but it hasn't happened quite yet. The next step is probably a much more invasive surgery, which I am probably going to have to schedule for right after the New Year if I can get a date, because that recovery will be six weeks instead of a few days, and I have kept up a steady drumbeat of job applications and I need to be able to work.

 

Which brings me to the money stressors that are starting to pile up, but that's a whole different rant and I don't really want to get into it. I will say that having the VA healthcare system start charging me copayments because my income is 'too high' is really just beyond laughable. The solution to that (well, I mean, beyond getting a [BLEEP]ing job with some healthcare) would probably be to put in the VA disability claim I've been avoiding finalizing because technically I haven't retired from the military yet -- but that's an entirely different bureaucratic nightmare. The research and shopping around for an appropriate advocate that I will need to do in order to tackle that particularly involved process are just beyond my capacity at the moment. And the house is an utter disaster and the dying car and the smelly refrigerator and the leaky roof and the septic tank and AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH everything is such a mess right now. So, instead of dealing with life, I sit at the computer and disappear into internet rabbit holes like scrolling through Black Friday deals I can't afford or researching a smart home solution until one in the morning. Like I have a home worthy of being made smart, right? (sigh) It's ridiculous.

 


Still, I guess I'm plugging along, making almost the bare minimums for life in general. I got my chapter revision (and the associated peer review requirement of a different chapter) in (just barely) on time. I've submitted a handful of job applications, and after I finish this update I'm going to take action on two more (deadlines being useful things sometimes). I've been carrying around my 3-5k NaNo deficit like some sort of smelly old teddy bear, but I've been doing at least a tiny bit of writing every day. I even found the energy to go back to dance class, which led to a nice night of social dancing this past Saturday (although I couldn't dance the whole three hours, which was a sobering reflection on how much my physical condition has deteriorated in the last six months).

 

As always, if you're reading this, I want to thank you very much for being part of my NF support system. I always feel guilty that I do such a crappy job of staying connected with everyone else -- but no matter how inconsistent or lopsided or awkwardly insufficient I feel about my own contributions, you all are there regardless, and I am very grateful for the connection I have to this community.

 

One week left in this crazy November challenge! Good luck to everyone in finishing strong. 

  • Like 2

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

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On 11/12/2019 at 6:35 AM, Sylvaa said:

I love that you post your failures. TBH, I don't always do a good enough job of posting my own. Internet life is pretty easy to make look amazing and to be out there and say, nope, I'm struggling, is a lot harder than people give it credit for. 

 

On 11/12/2019 at 8:41 AM, Sciread77 said:

Same. It’s one of the things I love about your posts.

 

I appreciate this, thank you. It helps very much to have a supportive community where I can be honest enough to post personal shit fairly anonymously, because putting the jumbled confusion of feelings into words that will mean something to another person forces me to work through everything myself a bit more completely. It really does help a lot. I guess this is why therapy works -- but you guys are cheaper :) All of my personal social media audiences would either overreact to every setback or enjoy some mild Schadenfreude, so it's so nice to have a group who will do neither but take it in stride as part of the process we all go through. Thank you so much for the support. 

 

On 11/12/2019 at 6:35 AM, Sylvaa said:

You've just has some really amazing adventures and that may be contributing to the digestive issues and the overall "bleh-ness" you seem to be feeling. I talked about this in another thread a few challenges ago - how getting back to normal after having a goal or something to look forward to can definitely lead to dissatisfaction or depression. Do you think this could be part of what is going on with you?

 

On 11/12/2019 at 8:41 AM, Sciread77 said:

I’d believe it because I often feel that way after trips or other great experiences. 

 

You all are reminding me that (at least back a few weeks ago when I posted these complaints) I hadn't really been home very long. It might have seemed like forever, but it really wasn't, and you are totally right. I think part of the problem might be the fact that I have been running away from 'normal' for so long now that I'm not really competent to decide what is and isn't anymore :) 

 

On 11/12/2019 at 8:41 AM, Sciread77 said:

In any case, we’re here for support and to help you kill it with fire if necessary. 

 

Thank you. Seriously. Thank you.

  • Like 1

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
On 11/12/2019 at 9:29 AM, Ann of Vries said:

So I’m saying, it’s okay that it doesn’t have a plot yet. It’s okay for NaNoWriMo to just be an exploration in hopes of finding one. ❤️

 

Thank you for this too -- it's honestly kind of kept me going, because even if the plot refuses to appear, there's no reason I can't keep exploring :) I had to get over my strict NaNo traditionalist dislike of incompleteness, and I honestly don't know if I'll ever come back to this thing come December, but it's a world and interesting characters that didn't exist before, and that's more than nothing. 

  • Like 2

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
On 11/12/2019 at 3:45 PM, Chris Tarly said:

I tried to find an internet meme that had a couple guys with drinks in front of them and the caption said something like "Let's not talk about it together.", but it doesn't exist yet, or I can't find it, and I don't have time to make a meme.

 

It would have been hilarious.

 

talk.jpeg.5b5c50c9db187f1cf6449f95b19d8af9.jpeg

 

I guess we're doing a decent job of not dying, the both of us, aren't we? 

  • Like 2

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
4 hours ago, oromendur said:

I guess this is why therapy works -- but you guys are cheaper :) 


We do our best! I think that’s part of what makes this group special. I have a deeper level of trust here than on regular social media, in large part because we’re all here for the purpose of improving and overcoming and not dying. 

  • Like 1

Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

Character Sheet Training Logs Challenges Prepping for Adventure PrepAdventure Prep Fall BabyWhen Are We Again, Anyway?WhirlwindThe Leaf's LocusHarnessing Hamingja New Roots More Beginnings, More Roots Cleaning Up Facing The Hailstorm Yo Ho Yo The... Keto Life For Me? Taming the Beast Another Step Towards the Future Baking, Suburban Homesteading, and Health, The Adventurers of the Lucky Vale IIIIIIIVVVI, VII VIIIIX

Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

Link to comment

orcs_late.gif.699b8c219671136965a44ca0ba358418.gif

 

Well, I'm finishing this challenge much as I started: late (sigh)

 

(I also expect 'pirate scum' is rather kind, considering my life recently :unsure:)

 

[WEEK 5 UPDATE]

 

MOVE: 121/2, 106/12 ,101/1, 102/3, 98/0, 29/2, 29/1. The cushion from dancing last weekend, bumped up by dance class on Tuesday, lasted longer than I expected -- but it evaporated by the end of the week (also as expected) and I've been too beat down with job applications and house stuff to find the energy to do anything about it. Looking back over the challenge here, my performance is pretty dismal: 12 days out of 30 above 100 is well under 50%. But 12 is more than zero, and I guess I have to be grateful for what I can get.

 

EAT: 7 freggies (carrots/beefsteak tomatoes/green beans/pumpkin/sweet potatoes/apples/cranberries). Thanksgiving. What can I say? All of my friends were busy and I'm not seeing my family until Christmas, so I was on my own last weekend. I had originally just planned on splurging on a homemade pumpkin pie flavored by copious amounts of Fireball whisky (don't laugh, it was DELICIOUS), but on Wednesday I started to feel sorry for myself. I decided that there was no reason for me not to have traditional food if I wanted to. I certainly know how to cook it, after the last several years cooking for non-American friends! So I went to the grocery store. (Yes, on the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving, and then again on Thursday morning. I, um, don't recommend it as a general course of action :blink:) I may have gotten a little carried away...

 

Spoiler for picture of my table of gluttony:

Spoiler

 

20191128_204429.thumb.jpg.72d866bf8cf85265629faaa2e34d3845.jpg

All for me. I regret nothing :) 

 


CLEAN: Considering that it's the Thursday AFTER Thanksgiving and I haven't quite finished all the washing up, I don't think we're going to talk about this one much. And we're definitely not going to talk about the fact that several years of a leaking roof culminated in a soggy chunk of wet plaster ceiling falling on my couch while I was enjoying my Thanksgiving gluttony. Nope. Not going to talk about it. I'll, um, clean it up eventually...

 

WRITE: NaNo word count as of 30 Nov was 50,069. I clawed my way across the finish line through sheer bloody-mindedness, and it was every bit as painful as I expected, but NaNo win #12 is in the bag. The good news is, by the end, I finally managed to catch a few glimmers of a glimpse of a plot and story structure. The bad news is that I wrote my way barely through a third of that structure during the month :( Usually I come out of November with a project that, while perhaps incomplete in execution, is ready for structural editing and proposal development. I'm not even remotely close on this one. I'm going to leave it until after the holiday challenge. I haven't decided whether to keep writing on this one in January, or pick one of my other projects and focus on editing for a while. I'll see how I feel when I get home after Christmas.

 

Overall, I'm feeling somewhat less hopeless than I have been. Things haven't really improved all that much -- I still haven't sorted out the VA health mess, and I took a few more gut shots from the universe, including the ceiling falling in mentioned above, and another one involving a steep reduction in my ability to earn my last remaining year of required military retirement points that could have been avoided if only I hadn't been such a lazy [BLEEP] -- but I guess I'm just getting used to getting thrashed (shrug). I'm just sort of keeping on keeping on, sending endless numbers of job applications into the academic black hole and wrangling my letter-writers and wandering around the house desultorily attacking small jobs while ignoring the big ugly enormous ones. It's not exactly progress, but it's not black depression either, and it should be enough to get me through Christmas. We'll have to see what the new year brings.

 

Overall, I'm glad I did this challenge, even if it was kind of a mess. I think I will try and throw something up for the short holiday one -- although I have to admit the raucous all-guild party over there is WAY more than I'm going to be able to keep up with, and feels more than a little intimidating. I guess it doesn't matter if I don't read ten challenge threads or don't read a hundred, right? (sigh) I do think having a reason to write words and post them helps me get through the mucky bits, though, so in the spirit of keeping on, I guess I'll just keep on keeping on.

 

Best of holiday wishes to everyone! See you back in the Adventurer's guild in 2020! 

  • Like 1

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment
On 11/25/2019 at 5:36 PM, Sciread77 said:

I think that’s part of what makes this group special. I have a deeper level of trust here than on regular social media

 

Absolutely concur. 

 

On 11/25/2019 at 5:36 PM, Sciread77 said:

we’re all here for the purpose of improving and overcoming and not dying

 

Here's to further improvement, and additional overcoming, and continued skillfully executed not dying! 🥂

  • Like 1

hröa Periano, sanar Eldaro, fëa Núnatano

(body of a Hobbit, mind of an Elf, soul of a Dúnadan)

Memories of a former Age [ 1 |  2 ]  ~  Return from Mandos [ respawn ]

Recent sojourns in Middle-earth [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 ]

[ Current: The Red Book ]   ~   [ Tracking spreadsheet ]   ~   [ Instagram ]

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.  ~ Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Link to comment

1.  No shame in the meal.  I’d make the exact same kinds and amounts of food if I were alone. Gods know I don’t alter that whether I have 5 or 40 people. 
 

2.  Congrats on the NaNo win. Take every win you can get in this world. 
 

3. Early or late is not important here. Kudos for fighting through. 
 

4. Cheers!

Adventurer, Half-Dwarf Chaotic-Good Paladin

Ne me dites jamais les chances!  ¡Nunca me digas las probabilidades!

Character Sheet Training Logs Challenges Prepping for Adventure PrepAdventure Prep Fall BabyWhen Are We Again, Anyway?WhirlwindThe Leaf's LocusHarnessing Hamingja New Roots More Beginnings, More Roots Cleaning Up Facing The Hailstorm Yo Ho Yo The... Keto Life For Me? Taming the Beast Another Step Towards the Future Baking, Suburban Homesteading, and Health, The Adventurers of the Lucky Vale IIIIIIIVVVI, VII VIIIIX

Spoiler

Perennial goals: Sleep 7+ hours a night, retain (and continue to learn) French and Spanish as a family, increase Spanish Proficiency for work and play,  read like a maniac on my own and with my kids, carry heavy stuff

Long term goals: Cut to 13-15% bodyfat, And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a baaaaarge! -> Someday I'll challenge a Disney world Gaston to a push up contest and win

Link to comment

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