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ResistingVenus42

Stepping Up for the First Challenge

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Alright, let's take it from the top:

1. My name is Stephanie (you can call me Stevie). I'm 34 years old and a librarian. I can't remember how long ago I found NerdFitness but it's been the best thing I've found for me. To make a long story short, I've had weight issues all my life but I finally unlocked the key to start my ultimate quest: accepting myself no matter how much I weigh. That's been a long time coming! 

 

I'm a nerd and a tomboy. I love reading (duh), traveling, and creating art. I'm a Trekkie, Whovian, Star Wars fan, and a Sailor Moon fan, among others. Workout-wise, I love cardio, am ambivalent about running (I like it but I'm not consistent with it), but since getting into strength training I'm having more fun with my workouts. (For the record, the Beginner Bodyweight Workout has helped TREMENDOUSLY with being able to help shelve books in children's - fellow librarians, take note!)

 

2. Being a Trekkie kind of parlays into my quest: I want to lose 80 lbs by next year's Star Trek Las Vegas con in early August. So that'll be going from 208 (as of last week) to 130 (roughly where I was in college). If I'm a few pounds off it's not the end of the world. Right now I'd at least like to get below 200! Maybe 190 by January would be nice. But let's take it slow.

 

3. Well I guess getting to 190 would be a supporting quest, but I chose three from the boards because I need a bit of help. So my three are to eat one veggie with one meal every day; to swap one processed snack for a healthy protein, fruit, or veggie; walk every day for 5 minutes; and to floss at least 15 seconds a day. I feel these are doable for me (the food one was hard since I already drink tea and water and no soda - the frappucinos may be hard to quit but I've done it before and I can do it again). 

 

I'll set a reminder to post on Fridays (my weigh-in day) and let everyone know how I'm doing - I can just do it in this thread, right? Anyway, best of luck everyone...and me especially!

 

Live Long and Prosper, and May the Force Be With Us All!

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20 hours ago, ResistingVenus42 said:

I finally unlocked the key to start my ultimate quest: accepting myself no matter how much I weigh. That's been a long time coming! 

 

Welcome! This is friggin awesome! You deserve to seek happiness and do the things that you love at any weight. 
 

20 hours ago, ResistingVenus42 said:

So my three are to eat one veggie with one meal every day; to swap one processed snack for a healthy protein, fruit, or veggie; walk every day for 5 minutes; and to floss at least 15 seconds a day.


These look like prudent, achievable goals. Good luck! 

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Thank you @Harriet and Solidify! I appreciate you both taking the time to say hello and share some encouragement :)

 

So my first update: I have cervical spinal stenosis, and for the most part it's been under control. However, Thursday at work I managed to aggravate it and Friday I had to call in sick because I was in too much pain to move. Which totally shot my plan of working out that day to hell! The pain really knocks everything out of me, and though I thought of at least doing some squats, after doing a little bit of walking wore me out. So exercising was right out.

 

Diet is also shot out the window, as I've lapsed into old processed sugar habits and back on what I call the "raccoon diet" (eating nothing but "garbage"). To be fair, diet has been the absolute hardest thing for me to change since I'm constantly tired, but I'm trying to reframe it as "this isn't a priority". Thursday for lunch I had steamed green beans and a chicken fillet (breaded but hey I'm trying...). I'm on Level 3 for the diet and trying to move to level 4 but a no-carb breakfast is very difficult. Okay it's not a priority. Yeah yeah I get it... (I like my oatmeal, what can I say?)

 

One of the truest things I've found on this journey is that if I force myself to do something, I won't enjoy it. Even if it's an exercise I like. Slowly, over time, I've come to want to do these things like go to the gym and walk to work and that's made all the difference. I've made similar changes with food, but frankly when you want pasta...you want pasta. (It doesn't help I'm part Italian.)

 

I always get frustrated that, as soon as I start something like this, life throws a wrench into my plans. I start working out, my stenosis flares up. I work on fixing my diet, there's birthday cake at work. Excuses, excuses, I know, I know. But it's so damned frustrating.

 

Perhaps if I frame it as a goombah in Mario...no level is completely free of obstacles, right? (Though I never did get very far in Mario...okay, new metaphor.) I just have to face it and beat it. And, most of all, NOT get discouraged. 

 

Maybe I SHOULD start a blog instead of posting here - though I will admit having to post here every Friday (barring this one, fine...) is a great goal. 

 

Thanks again for your support and helping me get through one day. 

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The challenge thread can be kind of like a blog.

 

On 11/16/2019 at 3:20 PM, ResistingVenus42 said:

I'm on Level 3 for the diet and trying to move to level 4 but a no-carb breakfast is very difficult.

 

I don't follow the NF diet recommendations (from the Academy, I'm guessing). I might suggest that different kinds of diets work for different people. The trick is to find out what works for you. Maybe instead of forcing yourself into a no carb breakfast, play around with what you are already doing and what you already like to eat. Instead of cutting out your oatmeal, perhaps add some protein? (just an example, I don't know specifically what you eat now).

 

For myself, I like toast in the morning, but it doesn't hold me until lunchtime. If I add a protein powder smoothie, it's a whole different ball game (and I still have the toast).

 

Not telling you what to eat, but suggest that experimenting can be a really good thing. Maybe "no carb" is one of those experiments, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the only answer.

 

 

 

 

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You don’t have to follow the challenge format. I use the challenge thread like a blog that moves every six weeks - I try to talk about fitnessing, but also whatever seems relevant. You could also start a battle log; it sounds like that would fit best, but it can be kind of quiet there.

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On 11/16/2019 at 12:20 PM, ResistingVenus42 said:

Diet is also shot out the window, as I've lapsed into old processed sugar habits and back on what I call the "raccoon diet" (eating nothing but "garbage"). To be fair, diet has been the absolute hardest thing for me to change since I'm constantly tired, but I'm trying to reframe it as "this isn't a priority". Thursday for lunch I had steamed green beans and a chicken fillet (breaded but hey I'm trying...). I'm on Level 3 for the diet and trying to move to level 4 but a no-carb breakfast is very difficult. Okay it's not a priority. Yeah yeah I get it... (I like my oatmeal, what can I say?)

 

One of the truest things I've found on this journey is that if I force myself to do something, I won't enjoy it. Even if it's an exercise I like. Slowly, over time, I've come to want to do these things like go to the gym and walk to work and that's made all the difference. I've made similar changes with food, but frankly when you want pasta...you want pasta. (It doesn't help I'm part Italian.)

 

 

Sorry I'm just replying now. I missed your post somehow. 

 

The stenosis sounds really frustrating, sorry to hear about that. As for diet, I have found that depriving myself always leads to backlash (i.e. binging on comfort foods), whether it's deprivation of calories, carbs, or generally food that I find pleasurable to eat. So I have to find compromises that are healthful and easy/pleasant to eat. Also, I have done a lot of reading on diet and I don't think carbs are bad per se. Refined carbs are. Excessive carbs are. Carbs that "crowd out" more nutrient dense foods are. But lots of people feel pretty good with moderate carbs. Unless you have celiac's or non-celiac gluten sensitivity, getting rid of your beloved oats is probably less important than cutting back on the processed sugar habits you mentioned. Personally, I'm finding that fat and protein in the morning don't work for me. I can do it for a few days and then I start hating food and finding everything repellant. I'm currently eating chia seeds with coconut milk and a good amount of fruit in the mornings. 

 

I don't think you should push yourself to get to the next diet "level" if you're finding it super difficult. I think Xena's recommendations of experimenting and adding things in instead of taking them out is spot on. 
 

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I've found that cutting things out doesn't work for me anymore, so I experimented with cutting down instead. If I want a candy bar, I go to the convenience store & buy one. If I am desiring cookies, I will buy a package & split them up into serving size portions. Once I have one serving, that's it: no more for the rest of the day. It was hard at first, but I'm actually much more into healthy eating now that I know I can have a sweet if I want one & usually just 1 serving will satisfy that craving.

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Hey, again! Weekly update! Thank you to those of you who commented - I'm still learning how to use the forums so I'm really glad I have y'all here for support. 

 

The week started out GREAT! My first day off is Sunday, so I walked to get my breakfast and listened to a podcast as I went. (I had a multigrain bagel with cream cheese and unsweetened iced tea, if it matters.) It felt amazing, especially since the weather was FINALLY behaving! (I live in Florida where it's constantly hot and humid, but lately it's been glorious - apologies to those of you who live elsewhere, sorry.) I tried to get my boyfriend to join me but alas. 

 

On Monday I went on my very first hike in a local park - SOOO much fun! Walking through the woods, I remembered the fun I had as a kid playing in the woods before they burned down or got developed. I listened to Coldplay and took pictures. Even had a blue jay land about five feet from me, do a backflip on a branch, and then fly away. Even though I ran into some deep mud (which I almost fell in), I did just fine. I got a smoothie afterwards thinking I'd made a good decision but I'd obliterated my calories for the rest of the day. Oops. Well, hey, lesson learned.

 

I'm in a very fortunate situation where I can walk to and from work, so I lengthened my walks a little bit so I'd get at least five minutes in, totaling 20 minutes altogether for one day. I did that for two days before I ate something wrong and had to drive home, but I had a salad with ginger dressing and a fairly bland dinner to soothe my stomach. I missed my gym appointment from this - I was nervous about exercising after a bad stomach problem.

 

Thursday things had cleared up but I decided to take it easy - I ate a late breakfast (which I was really proud of myself with) and a healthy dinner. I left my Apple Watch at home, with whom I've having a spat with because it only said I exercised 12 minutes on my 1-hour hike, but when I started dreading, "Oh no I'm not getting my exercise counted," I realized how utterly stupid that sounded. I don't need to "log" exercise or count steps - Just because it's not counted doesn't mean it doesn't count. So I ordered myself a nice regular watch to wear instead. Yeah I'll miss notifications if I don't have my phone but...who cares?

 

So I figured today, Friday, weigh-in day, would be pretty awesome. Nope. Still 208. Down a couple ounces (yay) but still a solid 208. I know the scale lies and frankly I hate the stupid thing, but if it doesn't get measured it doesn't get improved. But instead of getting down on myself, I remembered the positives of what I'd accomplished this week:

  • Went on my first hike (and I plan on doing at least once a week on Mondays, so weight training is now Wednesdays and Fridays)
  • Ate a hell of a lot better - made egg salad for one lunch, veggie pasta for another, and two eggs with my requisite oatmeal
  • On that note, when I wanted to eat out, I said, "You have plenty of food at home" (Mom would be proud lol) and stuck with it. I only broke that a handful of times.
  • Ate mindfully for the most part - no computers, no phone, no eating in the office...just sitting at the kitchen table like my mother taught me
  • Instead of self-criticizing about my art, I told myself, "Instead of complaining, why not work to improve your skill?" So I've been working on different sketches and trying different art styles from my favorite artists and doing my best to incorporate them into my work and take it to the next level. 

One kind of funny story, though: because I dirtied my jeans on my last hike and today is casual day at work, I got out my last good pair of jeans. They split, leaving me to change into my workout pants before hitting the gym (I mean one less step but still...). As I was whining to my coworker, she said, "You need to get those stretch jeans."*

 

"I need to not be fat," I replied, smirking.

 

I mean, it's funny now.

* She didn't mean this to be rude, she was trying to help. I wasn't offended in the slightest. 

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I feel like a total loser for not replying to y'all directly so here's a bonus post: Thanks for dealing with me! :D

 

On 11/14/2019 at 6:47 PM, solidify said:

welcome.

“Change is the essential process of all existence.” – Spock, Star Trek

I LOVE this! Spock always knows how it's done.

 

On 11/20/2019 at 9:04 PM, Xena said:

The challenge thread can be kind of like a blog.

 

 

I don't follow the NF diet recommendations (from the Academy, I'm guessing). I might suggest that different kinds of diets work for different people. The trick is to find out what works for you. Maybe instead of forcing yourself into a no carb breakfast, play around with what you are already doing and what you already like to eat. Instead of cutting out your oatmeal, perhaps add some protein? (just an example, I don't know specifically what you eat now).

 

For myself, I like toast in the morning, but it doesn't hold me until lunchtime. If I add a protein powder smoothie, it's a whole different ball game (and I still have the toast).

 

Not telling you what to eat, but suggest that experimenting can be a really good thing. Maybe "no carb" is one of those experiments, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the only answer.

 

This is great advice. And honestly I'm kind of glad you said this: I can do no-carb lunch and/or dinner (and generally do) but breakfast I needs my carbs. I'd love to do keto but I also have a history of disordered eating...and that's a slippery slope I'd rather not travel down. Right now it's just eating better. We'll go from there. But again, thank you.

 

On 11/20/2019 at 9:34 PM, Sloth the Enduring said:

You don’t have to follow the challenge format. I use the challenge thread like a blog that moves every six weeks - I try to talk about fitnessing, but also whatever seems relevant. You could also start a battle log; it sounds like that would fit best, but it can be kind of quiet there.

 

Ooh, I like the idea of a battle log. I could talk about my hikes and whatnot. This is really cool! And I do like having some accountability in blogging at least here (I have readers ahahahah). Thanks so much for the input!

 

On 11/21/2019 at 12:15 PM, Harriet said:

 

Sorry I'm just replying now. I missed your post somehow. 

 

The stenosis sounds really frustrating, sorry to hear about that. As for diet, I have found that depriving myself always leads to backlash (i.e. binging on comfort foods), whether it's deprivation of calories, carbs, or generally food that I find pleasurable to eat. So I have to find compromises that are healthful and easy/pleasant to eat. Also, I have done a lot of reading on diet and I don't think carbs are bad per se. Refined carbs are. Excessive carbs are. Carbs that "crowd out" more nutrient dense foods are. But lots of people feel pretty good with moderate carbs. Unless you have celiac's or non-celiac gluten sensitivity, getting rid of your beloved oats is probably less important than cutting back on the processed sugar habits you mentioned. Personally, I'm finding that fat and protein in the morning don't work for me. I can do it for a few days and then I start hating food and finding everything repellant. I'm currently eating chia seeds with coconut milk and a good amount of fruit in the mornings. 

 

I don't think you should push yourself to get to the next diet "level" if you're finding it super difficult. I think Xena's recommendations of experimenting and adding things in instead of taking them out is spot on. 

 

No worries about replying late! I'm bad with that myself so there you go :)

 

Yes, I also found deprivation leads to disaster. I don't say I can NEVER EVER EVER have ice cream, I just don't have it in the house. So I make it a special thing - like I hear older people telling me ("When I was a kid, soda was a TREAT, not an everyday thing!"). On Fridays also we have a volunteer who brings us goodies, and I can't say no to that :) They're just too good (and homemade, natch). 

 

I was thinking of changing the "no-carb meal" to, say, dinner or lunch. Like I said upthread, breakfast right now is a carb meal, and I do my best to eat complex ones (multigrain bagel or oatmeal, for examples) instead of refined ones. Also the mornings are where I'm the least functional, so whatever is easiest, happens :D  

 

I'm so glad I have you guys here to help me out and say "yeah maybe you're too hard on yourself" or "you're overthinking this, dude". Both of which are BIG problems I have and, though I've been through therapy and they've gotten better, they haven't vanished. 

 

4 hours ago, fitnessgurl said:

I've found that cutting things out doesn't work for me anymore, so I experimented with cutting down instead. If I want a candy bar, I go to the convenience store & buy one. If I am desiring cookies, I will buy a package & split them up into serving size portions. Once I have one serving, that's it: no more for the rest of the day. It was hard at first, but I'm actually much more into healthy eating now that I know I can have a sweet if I want one & usually just 1 serving will satisfy that craving.

 

Yep, I do the same thing! I try to get single-sized servings of everything so I don't overindulge. Sometimes that isn't possible, but I certainly do try. It's a HUGE help.

 

You know what fills a "sweet" need for me? Cereal. Plain, boring, Cheerios in almond milk. Weird, huh? But it works. 

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20 hours ago, ResistingVenus42 said:

when I started dreading, "Oh no I'm not getting my exercise counted," I realized how utterly stupid that sounded. I don't need to "log" exercise or count steps - Just because it's not counted doesn't mean it doesn't count. So I ordered myself a nice regular watch to wear instead. Yeah I'll miss notifications if I don't have my phone but...who cares?


Sounds like an upgrade :) Good that you caught this thinking and stopped it. Some people get obsessed with the tracking itself rather than the exercise. 

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23 hours ago, ResistingVenus42 said:

You know what fills a "sweet" need for me? Cereal. Plain, boring, Cheerios in almond milk. Weird, huh? But it works. 

Totally trying this! Thanks!

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What a great week summary post! Great job getting out hiking and working on your art.

(and to be honest, stretch jeans are pretty comfortable).

"Sweet" for me can be plain yogurt with fruit.

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Okay so I've missed a few days but I'm back! 

 

A LOT has happened, including gaining weight over the holiday week - 211, YIKES! I felt bad about it but then I remembered that this is a holiday and overeating is common. That's okay! Shake it off and try again...

 

Thanksgiving and the day after both started off great but devolved into my own personal hell - I was triggered by my stepfather's political talk and got REALLY depressed and almost went to what I call the "Bad Place". Similar happened the next day at my boyfriend's family dinner but no trigger (thankfully). It wasn't as happy or peaceful as I would've liked but it's family so when is it ever.

 

I forgot to tell y'all I went on my second and third hike these past two Mondays: the second hike was great until I got stuck in shin-deep mud (protip: when the trail map says that particular spur gets muddy, believe it). I was terrified - did I get myself into a mess I couldn't get out of? - but I remembered my great-x3 grandmother, who walked the Mormon Trail. If she could do that, I could walk through a bit of mud. I did spend the following Sunday cleaning nasty mud off my (brand-new) hiking shoes. (On that note, I got these things called "remodeez" that work great for absorbing mud-fart smell from shoes - got them from Target and they were a LIFE-SAVER!) 

 

This past Monday I kept it simple (okay fine I was a little trigger-shy from mud and it was raining a bit) and went to a local park. It was just as magical and I took some amazing photos. I now understand how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place. I'm making my Monday hikes a habit and I'm loving it. 

 

My workplace sent out emails about a 5K and race training, completely paid for by them, so I took advantage of it and signed up. I've run precisely one 5K in my life and run/walked others, and I like to say I have a "like/meh" relationship with running. The first training was last night and I don't think group training is right for me: I didn't like their pace (I kept wanting to run longer than just 30 seconds), I didn't like how they did static stretching as opposed to dynamic warmups that are recommended here, I didn't like how they didn't do ANY cool-downs whatsoever (this is coming from someone who notoriously skips cool-downs too), and I hated how I automatically compared myself to everyone else and got hyper-competitive. This wasn't even a real race; it was just training. I feel I train better on my own with my couch-to-5K app, so I may do that instead: I like getting lost in my own head instead of thinking how I have to be faster/better than everyone else. I fully intend to run the 5K race, though. 

 

Also after that training I had a WICKED bad pinched nerve in my thigh that was making sleep almost impossible, which I chalk up to not warming up/cooling down properly because I've NEVER had this pain before. (I have enough nerve problems as it is!)

 

So right now my exercise is hiking on Monday (with some strength training thrown in), Wednesday and Friday is strength training at the gym, and Thursday and Saturday would be 5K training. It certainly feels like a lot and maybe I'm overreaching here. Already I'm feeling tired, and I know I'm not eating enough. I keep remembering what is said here on Nerd Fitness - "you can't outrun your fork" - and all the exercise in the world won't make a lick of difference if you're not eating well. I will report I AM eating much better than I normally do but I still have a long way to go. I am trying, y'all!

 

One downside to this is how my stenosis is coming back. I got two epidurals - one in early August, one in mid-September - and despite them laying me on my butt for a few days (especially that second one), they did work. But they're wearing off...and my pain is coming back. I'm being mindful and listening to my body, but when the pain is in both arms no matter what you do, it's hard to cope. I know my lower body is fine and I can walk for long periods without getting tired, I can squat for longer than I used to, and I can run about a minute without stopping - not at all bad. But what I need to work on is my core and my upper body. And with my arms/shoulders/neck in the pain they're in, it'll be hard. But I can listen to myself and take it easy. Or try to. 

 

I hope your holiday was a good one, and if you're not in the US, I hope you had a great past two weeks (ish) anyway. Thanks for following along. December is going to be GREAT!

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So sorry your holiday was stressful and unpleasant.

 

Sorry the group training wasn't what you hoped. It can be motivating, but has to be the right fit. I guess my main advice would be to give yourself permission to change your mind, and do whatever you think will work best for you. If you want to try it again sometime, great. If you feel like those are a bunch of fools you have no time for, great. If you find some different kind of group run you want to try someday, also great.

 

Sorry to hear about the stenosis. Hope you can get some relief.

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Hey, all - Just wanted to update with my progress.

 

First off I can't believe it's been five weeks since I joined. I should be prouder of myself but mostly I feel like a screw-up, mostly because I'm like "oh, wait, I had to do that! D'OH!" So, well, I have made changes. I can't be TOO angry at myself since I have made some improvements.

 

Mondays are still hiking days. This past Monday I hiked over four miles and totally felt like I was walking to Mordor. At one point my stenosis flared up but I literally said, "You are NOT doing this now. No, you're not. We're almost done and you will WAIT UNTIL WE'RE DONE." After a while, the pain went away. Would I recommend that for all the time? No. But it made me smile.

 

Also I had some blood tests done and it turns out I have *slightly* high cholesterol (nothing to worry about, like 40 points above normal) and a vitamin D deficiency. So the doctor prescribed me a weekly D supplement for twelve weeks and YOU GUYS. 

 

YOU. GUYS.

 

This vitamin D supplement has made my life so much better. I'm more energetic and feel so much better in general. I'm walking and running more just for the fun of it and because I can. I've shifted three different sections of library books and am always working to shelve children's books when I'm in that department. I'm ON A ROLL. 

 

And you know what? For the first time I'm actually beginning to believe I'll lose weight now. Like the desire was there but the energy never really was. Now that it's back, I feel like things will really begin to happen. 

 

Now that it's the holidays I'm taking a page from a friend's book and not stressing too much about anything until the year starts. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop hiking/running or watching my diet (which, let's be real, still needs a ton of work). It just means I'm not going to stress about not necessarily hitting my goals. The fact that I'm running/hiking three days a week as opposed to zero days a week is a HUGE GAME CHANGER!

 

I've changed my schedule a bit, so Sundays and Thursdays are run days and Mondays are hiking days. I'm hoping to eke my hiking mileage up week by week - maybe someday I'll do a thru-hike but, very literally, one step at a time. I still need to fit in some strength training, and I'm hoping for maybe Tuesday and Friday. We'll see. My current gym has odd hours that don't work with my schedule, so I'm thinking of switching to something like Planet Fitness. Yes I know I can do these workouts at home but I find I'm better when I'm NOT home and have to actually BE somewhere. Otherwise at home I slack off. This is probably why getting my MLS online was super-rough. (Next degree I get, it's DEFINITELY in a classroom!)

 

It's almost time for shift-change but I wanted to post SOME update and let anyone who cares know how I'm doing. I have all next week off and I'm looking forward to at least walking almost every day. I'm looking forward to simply moving more and getting ready for that 5K run in February (yes I'm still doing it - I'm doing a couch-to-5K app on my run days and I'm a bit behind but I'm catching up to where I need to be). 

 

I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday, no matter what you celebrate, and if I'm not back before then, have an awesomely nerdy New Year!

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Happy belated holidays and 2020, y'all! Hope you had a good holiday.

 

I had an...okay one. I got some AWESOME hiking gear for Christmas and promptly made use of my new backpack and binoculars. I'm debating whether or not to get some cheap trekking poles or at least a walking stick so I can try some hillier terrain (surprisingly there ARE hills in this part of Florida). I didn't put on TOO much weight, and I actually managed to have fun with my boyfriend's family.

Unfortunately after that I got an allergic reaction to *something* (we still don't know what) and I had to go to the ER. It was very mild, but still: when something like that happens it sidelines you for a while. For me it was a week. I wasn't feeling like myself, plus I had to miss work so that added to my worries. Then my stenosis decided to rear its ugly head and...well...

 

I've been hard on myself this week, even with the medical stuff. I get the NF emails and I feel like I'm failing. I have everything planned out activity-wise but I've just been too out of it to do anything. Which rounds back on me thinking I'm finding excuse after excuse after excuse to NOT do it. When in reality I LOVE being outside, I just have been physically and mentally drained. Anxiety is fun, y'all.

 

Typing this out now I realize it's only been a damned week, and it's not the end of the world. I also keep reminding myself that January is a month of baselines: I set up both budgetary and fitness-oriented goals for the month, and I SWORE to NOT BE HARD ON MYSELF because we're establishing where we are and where we need to go. Yet anytime I get the slightest of setbacks, I feel like the world's biggest failure. It's a lot of unlearning. Part of it is that I want to lose X pounds by August and it just seems more and more unattainable. I'm not unrealistic - I'll settle for something, ANYTHING below 180 lbs - but I'm not that optimistic.

 

Food still is the hardest piece of this puzzle, though I'm focusing not on exclusion but moderation and substitution. Instead of getting a burger, for instance, I get a wrap. Once this week my boyfriend and I were talking about pizza, and he said, "You know why I like thin crust? LESS CARBS!" So I, being cheeky, said, "Well in that case, let's not do pizza at all! Then you have NO carbs!" I caught him off-guard and I love it. (He too is trying to watch his weight but he hates exercising and has arguably a worse diet than I do.)

 

Story of my life of being too hard on myself. I feel like no progress has been made, even though there's been some. Something something, forest...trees...

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Woohoo! Hiking gear!🎉🎉🎉

Try not to beat yourself up. You're not defeated unless you give up (I have to keep telling myself this).

We fall, get back up, & keep going. Repeat.

Life is difficult, but difficulty used correctly can strengthen us.

Hang in there! You got this!

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