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Morag

Morag is figuring out a few things - I hope

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Heya, nerds

 

My name is Katrin, I go by Morag on various internet platforms.

I am 36 years old now, single mum now (since june this year) of two beautiful boys (9 and soon to be 16). I am located in the real north of Germany. I work with demented elderly (since Sept this year), I started lifting barbells (dito), but the later makes my hip/something twinge painfully, so I need form adjustments at the very least. It hurts so much that I haven't been to the gym in weeks.

I am 1,7m tall with just under 100kg for weight, which is ridiculously too heavy.

 

Both my kids have their birthdays in December, a life choice I am still kind of unhappy about, and kind of not. You know?

I just cast on a hat for myself in black fluffy yarn, something I had sworn to myself NEVEREVEREVER do again, but sadly Hufflepuff is black and yellow, and so is my gorgeous xtra-warm-xtra-long skarf, so there.

I am taking an evening class of beginner Korean, which is fun and challenging and one of the few things keeping me sane.

 

My therapist of several months brought up the BTW Therapy Is Almost Over convo, which is kind of scary and kind of exciting.

 

I struggle with nutrition most of all. Consistently making decent enough choices (or these days it's more of an At All) and finding and sticking to humane portion sizes. I feel like my food choices are limiting where I am and where I'm headed in a VERY dramatic way. But calorie restriction is a stressor I have avoided for a while now, and consciously too. Separation has been a bitch even though it was kind of a mutual thing.

 

This christmas season I am nesting. I will buy a tree one of these days, for the first time in possibly 10 years, we already have some decorations up. We will not celebrate xmas at my in-laws house for the first time in years and years.

I made a memory board with maps and fotos and things. And I will keep adding to that.

Most of all I have to keep keeping my stress levels in check. I am the whack'a'mole queen for a reason.

And it would be hell'a nice if my physique reflected how much better I am all over, so I am thinking about what to do regarding food. Because I liked myself at under 90kg... I looked and felt amazing... I remember it being hard work, getting there: HIIT once a week, focused training to fix my abysmal posture (not sure how much of that bad stuff has come back, since my hip is acting up a lot lately), counting calories, weighing EVERYTHING that went on my plate, 500-1000kcal deficit (starting out with too much, and learning about healthy deficits lateron). Eating a limited number of veggies, still not being a fan of the things I ate too much of back then...

 

So yeah, I want to restrict my eating, get that all sorted out, but on the other hand I do not want to fuck up my mental health with going down that rabbit hole of super-über-perfection.

I also feel though, that I am paralyzing myself by over-analyzing here... so that's awesome!

 

A coworker is sick, so instead of 4 days off next week I work every day but one. But then I have Wednesday through Chrismas off, which is nice. Plus all the extra hours bring extra money too, so that's potentially nice (unless they tell me I should take extra days off, that's not cool) plusplus it's short notice extra hours, so I get a bit more money per hour too, it's not a lot, but some months it's those small things...

 

I bought myself a couple of japanese eggplants (I think. They are long and slender, but I didn't ask, so they may be from somewhere else), which I've never seen outside of my Korean cookbook before. So I am looking forward to soy marinated eggplant 가지 나무 (?) Gaji Namu without substituting the main ingredient. Maybe.

Plus today is my 9yo son's bday party, which he is super excited about. We'll see how it goes.

 

Plus knitting black yarn... what was I thinking?!

 

 

Enough of my ramblings.

Thanks go to @Terra, for messaging me privately and pushing me to make a challenge. Sorry, my friend, for being so late. I'm here now.

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Yay! Glad you are here.

I really liked where you talked about being so much better and wanting your body to reflect that. I feel like that could be a healthy way to look at it.… keep the inside intact and start to work on the outside.

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Welcome! I definitely understand the diet and restriction getting out of control. The main thing I learned from dieting is that deprivation leads to backlash eating, for me at least. So it's worth finding a middle path where you get to eat things you enjoy and not feel too hungry. Good luck! 

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17 hours ago, Morag said:

So yeah, I want to restrict my eating, get that all sorted out, but on the other hand I do not want to fuck up my mental health with going down that rabbit hole of super-über-perfection.

Have you considered something like 5:2, or intuitive eating? They might be approaches that will help you reach your aesthetic goals without plunging yourself into the deep end of kcal counting and restriction mindsets.

 

17 hours ago, Morag said:

Because I liked myself at under 90kg... I looked and felt amazing... 

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but this phrasing caught me; correct me if I'm making assumptions here, but I think it'd be awesome if you liked yourself at any weight! :)

 

The danger of using weight as a road marker is that it's not a meaningful statistic; in the sense that it doesn't consider your muscle:fat ratio, your overall health, your strength levels, or even how much water you're holding onto. Would it be possible to reframe this with similar/different ideas such as: 'I liked fitting into this pair of jeans', or 'I enjoyed feeling full of energy', etc?  Just food for thought.

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2 hours ago, Defining said:

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but this phrasing caught me; correct me if I'm making assumptions here, but I think it'd be awesome if you liked yourself at any weight! :)

 

The difference between "I liked myself at" and "I preferred my body at" might be a subtle one to call a non-native speaker on. :)

 

Intermittent fasting of some sort might indeed be a good route. It's not very concerned with what or how much you eat, but when, and works well for a lot of people. (In fact, I think the general philosophy in IF is usually not to restrict calories, because it's a stressor.) A lot of more visible IF followers are some flavor of low carb or paleo, because they complement each other well, but certainly not all, by a long shot. It might be a good experiment, if calorie restriction and food choice are stressors you've had experience with and are currently avoiding.

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Just now, sarakingdom said:

The difference between "I liked myself at" and "I preferred my body at" might be a subtle one to call a non-native speaker on. :)

CompassionateJoyousBaleenwhale-small.gif.58ad854b4fb2087ada5c06618052057c.gif

 

Excellent point! And one that didn't even occur to me, thank you for pointing it out. I could use more reminders that not everyone is quite as pedantically semantic as I am. :P 

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12 minutes ago, Defining said:

Excellent point! And one that didn't even occur to me, thank you for pointing it out. I could use more reminders that not everyone is quite as pedantically semantic as I am. :P 

 

Otherwise, I would totally agree with you! Verbal self-talk that implies one is less likeable as a person because of circumstances, it can do a lot of harm and be nearly invisible. But nuances of implication are a lot harder in a second language, and usually much less your focus than how native speakers actually express themselves in practice. Given the careful choices around self-care in the rest of the post, it seemed to me like that was more likely. :)

 

18 hours ago, Morag said:

I started lifting barbells (dito), but the later makes my hip/something twinge painfully, so I need form adjustments at the very least. It hurts so much that I haven't been to the gym in weeks. 

 

I have become a great fan of walking to rehab joints in the legs, especially hikes over uneven ground. It doesn't seem like much, but it's a gentle, steady, and controlled weight-bearing exercise that asks the muscles around the joints to repeatedly stabilize the joints. (And the more uneven the ground, the wider the range of angles and forces the muscles are being asked to compensate for.) I did a lot of hiking after a series of ankle injuries that were being caused by weakness in the ankle, and it helped a lot. 

 

Something like that might be a good way to get those muscles all tuned up and used to working together while you're waiting. Sometimes it's form, and sometimes there's a minor muscle that isn't able to work as hard as the rest and fails sooner.

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On 12/7/2019 at 9:09 PM, Defining said:

Have you considered something like 5:2, or intuitive eating? They might be approaches that will help you reach your aesthetic goals without plunging yourself into the deep end of kcal counting and restriction mindsets.

 

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but this phrasing caught me; correct me if I'm making assumptions here, but I think it'd be awesome if you liked yourself at any weight! :)

 

The danger of using weight as a road marker is that it's not a meaningful statistic; in the sense that it doesn't consider your muscle:fat ratio, your overall health, your strength levels, or even how much water you're holding onto. Would it be possible to reframe this with similar/different ideas such as: 'I liked fitting into this pair of jeans', or 'I enjoyed feeling full of energy', etc?  Just food for thought.

 At first I didn't even understand what you meant at all. Funny that. Stupid language barriers.

 

I liked how I was: hard-working, dedicated, consistently pushing towards my actual goals. I was focussed on my training, getting strong and capable enough to run my first mudrun.

I liked how my body felt: I was more flexible, stronger and less fragile. I got compliments for my hour-glass figure, drifting towards bone-y ass and I like how my hard work with my pt resulted in my flabby tummy actually getting flat. No, most of that is not self-defining, I get that. And I am not my body, I have a body.

 

Working on mental health and being kind to/with myself, that's not glorious work. It's not something that is visible and praised. It's necessary work, it's important AF. And not doing it leads down a very dark rabbithole. But noone (here, I don't know about other places in the world) sees the work that goes into going to therapy and unfucking some of the most massive mindblocks one has. It's not 15kg of bodyfat lost, and an amazing figure. It's taking care of the day-to-day and staying sane while doing that. It's a lot of things, but it's not dedicated training and living in a horribly high caloric devicit for far too long.

 

Sorry rambling. Again. I understand the difference between I liked myself at... and I prefered my body at... and it's more than my body. I am so very well aware. And yes, the subtleties went by me, which is infuriating because I am not a native English speaker, but I have this image in my head of being so awesome at it... humbling.

 

When I first started out I came from a place of viscerally, violently being disgusted at how I looked on a photography of myself. I worked on my nutrition as well as my thoughts about myself. Working both sides of the problem, as it were. I like how much I learned about myself back then, how curious I was. Finding out what works and doesn't in regards to satiety and such. But it was a very stressful time, because I would weight everything that went onto my plate, I did not learn portion sizes or moderation. It was all a bit mad.

 

PS I am on the bus to work early shift and I have so much of a not looking forward to it at all... It's not even funny.

I work today, then Tuesday is the only remaining free day, then I work 3 days for a sick colleague, then I work my own 4 days of early and next Wednesday my next, longer span of free days starts... which is good, cause I already feel like hitting things with blunt metal implements...

 

Oh and yeah, my first-born's bday is saturday. With the whole baggage coming for coffee and cake and possibly dinner. Plus Sunday the teen wants to play magic scool exit thing... he may take his brother and me along... possibly.

 

The bus is almost there. I don't wannaaaaaa....

 

Speak soon

 

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On 12/6/2019 at 10:54 PM, Morag said:

Thanks go to @Terra, for messaging me privately and pushing me to make a challenge. Sorry, my friend, for being so late. I'm here now.

No need to be sorry!  I'm just happy that you are here.  That work schedule sounds absolutely crazy but then all those days off sound lovely!!!  

 

11 hours ago, Morag said:

I liked how I was: hard-working, dedicated, consistently pushing towards my actual goals. I was focussed on my training, getting strong and capable enough to run my first mudrun.

I liked how my body felt: I was more flexible, stronger and less fragile. I got compliments for my hour-glass figure, drifting towards bone-y ass and I like how my hard work with my pt resulted in my flabby tummy actually getting flat. No, most of that is not self-defining, I get that. And I am not my body, I have a body.

 

Working on mental health and being kind to/with myself, that's not glorious work. It's not something that is visible and praised. It's necessary work, it's important AF. And not doing it leads down a very dark rabbithole. But noone (here, I don't know about other places in the world) sees the work that goes into going to therapy and unfucking some of the most massive mindblocks one has. It's not 15kg of bodyfat lost, and an amazing figure. It's taking care of the day-to-day and staying sane while doing that. It's a lot of things, but it's not dedicated training and living in a horribly high caloric devicit for far too long.

 

Sorry rambling. Again. I understand the difference between I liked myself at... and I prefered my body at... and it's more than my body. I am so very well aware. And yes, the subtleties went by me, which is infuriating because I am not a native English speaker, but I have this image in my head of being so awesome at it... humbling.

 

When I first started out I came from a place of viscerally, violently being disgusted at how I looked on a photography of myself. I worked on my nutrition as well as my thoughts about myself. Working both sides of the problem, as it were. I like how much I learned about myself back then, how curious I was. Finding out what works and doesn't in regards to satiety and such. But it was a very stressful time, because I would weight everything that went onto my plate, I did not learn portion sizes or moderation. It was all a bit mad.

There is so much here and I wanted to highlight a few things.   --  I am in a similar place with not hating my body but I am NOT comfortable in my skin right now and sometimes my body isn't able to do what I want it to do.  I don't like how I feel and how my movements feel.  The mental ability to get to a place of taking care of your health because you love yourself and your body is VERY powerful. It isn't easy and there are people who never get there.  Many of us start out hating ourselves and that motivation can be powerful but it is often dangerous too.  It pushes us to deprive, and count, and nitpick and it fosters so much guilt, plus more self hate.  It's a vicious nasty circle!   Refusing to play into that madness is amazingly liberating and enlightening.  Finding the path of just the right balance of food, exercise, play, self care and love isn't easy.  Many of us are on the same journey, yet each of our journey's are uniquely our own.  You, my friend, are not alone.   The reminder that I am not alone is also one I needed to hear this morning.  :love_heart:

 

I have been amazed at time by your grasp of English, it isn't an easy language and you do remarkably well.  

 

 

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13 hours ago, Morag said:

And yes, the subtleties went by me, which is infuriating because I am not a native English speaker, but I have this image in my head of being so awesome at it... humbling.

NOOOOOO, it was me, NOT you! I read into words too much, and think I'm far more clever than I actually am. You ARE awesome at English, so much so that I totally glossed over and didn't initially realise that you're not a native speaker!

 

13 hours ago, Morag said:

I liked how I was: hard-working, dedicated, consistently pushing towards my actual goals. I was focussed on my training, getting strong and capable enough to run my first mudrun.

I liked how my body felt: I was more flexible, stronger and less fragile. I got compliments for my hour-glass figure, drifting towards bone-y ass and I like how my hard work with my pt resulted in my flabby tummy actually getting flat. No, most of that is not self-defining, I get that. And I am not my body, I have a body.

thats-awesome-gif-12.gif.b347832b65e0427f0ccfdeacdbc76f3d.gif

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On 12/7/2019 at 1:09 PM, Defining said:

Have you considered something like 5:2, or intuitive eating?

 

Chiming in here too. What are you eating? Which is to say, maybe if you can try to fill your house with slow burning foods that make you feel full, you might do better with portion control. Can you set yourself some simple metrics? Like instead of counting every calorie, pick a favorite bowl for dinner and just eat that bowl - I realize your calorie content could very wildly here but if what you have available are good ingredients (stew, rice and chicken, etc), this might help you recalibrate a bit without making more work for yourself during an already stressful time.

 

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What am I eating?

Currently? In a day? Blegh.

So yesterday I ate a pile of bullocks. I had no food on me while at work.

I ate 100g mini-salami as a treat for doing the shopping even though I didn't feel like it after work. I ate candy all throughout the afternoon, some fake-shrimp with cream cheese for "dinner", and about a quarter of a bag of chips after that and almost a litre of sweetend instadrink stuff.

Oh and one ittybitty sugarenriched yoghurt... Fruchtzwerg.

Fuck. Being honest about food is hard.

But I haven't had a mind to put in the energy to not eat shittyly for a while.

 

I think I'll make something with rice as a staple meal. I love some of the banchan (=korean side dishes) in my cook book, they are AMAZING, plus I really like how rice feels satiety-wise and all that... not entirely sure though.

 

Something which could double as onigiri-/gimbab-filling would be perfect!

 

So far my morning ramblings. Today is my only free day in the next span, I will try to enjoy it.

 

Bbs

Katrin

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Food is hard!  I just ate a cookie for breakfast.  If I had more than one cookie I would have eaten more.  

 

Enjoy your day off and take care of yourself!!!  

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Food is hard indeed. But! Yesterday I had a craving for some really delicious fatty, spicey, sausage bun thing I have eaten in the past, but I had a lunch date an hour later. Even though I hadn't had breakfast I talked myself out of buying the thing. I am proud of myself for that. I had lunch plans and good ones too, and I stuck to the plan instead of bombing it with convenience food while shopping.

 

I have devoured books 2 & 3 of the grimspace series, by Ann Aguirre, loving every sleepless minute of it. Sirantha Jax. The third (Doubleblind) is one of my favourites, right after the last one (the 6th). Yes, I've read them before, but it's been a while and I (re-)discover a lot I haven't saved inot my long term memory banks. Worth every moment.

 

Today I have a pasta salad to make and bday surprises to buy, possibly going to pick up my new ID card too, while I'm out, then, and this is crucial, a nap before the little one comes home, then BigBoy's B'day party tonight, AllYouCanEat sushi&other asian foods, then escape the magic school, then bed straight away and 4am alarm in the morning, with work starting at 6, ending half past one then family inlaws all of them here at my place for the kid's bday celebration... then bed early for more early shift work to follow...

 

And on the 18th a block of free time starts, when I will not work, lugg home a tree, pretty up the place, buy the food stuffs early, so I bypass the craycray realizing they have to buy food for the holidays. 19th last appointments. 20th my mum's bday, and xmas market and a non-romantic date in the evening. Saturday to sleep in and not stress. 22nd be happy, then watch handball live, be happy some more. Then Monday cooking all the things that can be cooked in advance, then chillin' enjoying the holidays, then working 26th through to the end of the challenge and into the new year, possibly the kids at grandma's house...

 

So far my plan, feels good to have a plan.

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7 hours ago, Morag said:

Even though I hadn't had breakfast I talked myself out of buying the thing. I am proud of myself for that.

That is great. Sometimes you just need a win like that to make your whole day go well

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On 12/13/2019 at 1:16 AM, Morag said:

on the 18th a block of free time starts,

Oooh, Ooooh, Ooooh!  This started today!  Did you get a tree and buy the food stuff?  

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5 hours ago, Terra said:

Oooh, Ooooh, Ooooh!  This started today!  Did you get a tree and buy the food stuff?  

20191218_181413.thumb.jpg.f3192f223d0290365c807f81c7952fb3.jpg

 

I did indeed. I was being clever about it too: I picked up the tree Monday after work, I went and got my ID card from townhall Tuesday after work, and I did a massive packing of packages session Wednesday before (and after) food shopping, and we went and bought (almost) all the food stuffs. I even packed a random number of empty boxes, before I realized how many gifts there were already here.

So I am almost done with all the xmas prep, and have another almost week, to figure out all the things I need more time to figure out. Like what do I give the still husband for xmas? Likewise my mother (and sister and brother) in law et al. What do I give my mum for her birthday on Friday (probably framed pictures but I need to somehow magically buy a frame for those, so 🤷🏼‍♀️).

 

And I have gifts for both kids, and my mum has gifts for both kids, and things are mostly sorted out. I am looking forward to a few very nice non-date-dates. I have been invited to watch a handball game live again (thanks @Casbin!!!) I have a date with my mum to go to the xmas market on her bday (tomorrow). We'll be cooking for xmas dinner Monday afternoon. (Oh, in Germany xmas eve is the big deal, not xmas day, that's "first of two national holidays after").

I'll work Dec 26th through Jan 3rd, and the kids will be at my inlaws house most of that time. I am happy. Mostly.

I have one more Korean lesson, one more therapy session, this year, both of which today. I have a dear friend sleeping over and a thing I will hit this morning, hopefully successfully, we'll see.

Life is a lot, but I'm spreading it out as best I can. As best not to let it become overwhelming.

 

I am knitting an emergency gift scarf, but I think I shouldn't... I doubt I'll finish it in time... sigh, I am silly, aren't I?

So yeah xmas prep. I'll probably miss most of the New Year's Eve stuff, not only because I'll be working early shift. But I think I got it pretty good, being off work the whole week before christmas. I want to do some crafts with my hotglue gun and the larch cones, pine cones rarara, I have a date with my kids to do precisely that... may bake some more cookies, LittleOne has been on a sugar devouring spree lately. Not awesome.

 

And the ElderSpawn has noticed that both the hubby and I are no longer wearing our marriage bands. I told him when we each stopped wearing them (hubby with the start of 2019, and I about a month or two after he had moved out) and the teen was all "I didn't even realize!" In his next breath he proclaimed to "not care, doesn't matter" and also "LittleOne is too young to understand" he asked about divorce, and I had to tell him that we haven't even talked about that yet. He doesn't care if or if not, he said.

 

He's 16 now, of course he'd like his parents to be happy together, married and everything, but he is mature enough now to not be too angry that we are what we are, which is not perfect, yet we love the boys, and we'd like the other one to be happy and well too, so there, could be worse.

His words: are you planning to separate? (we are separated, kid, do you mean divorce "Scheidung"?) yeah... (we haven't talked about that at all yet) oh, ok, I don't care either way. (You don't?) No, don't care, just noticed you two aren't wearing your rings anymore, noticed it Saturday [during his family bday coffee and cake thing] (went on to explain when each of us stopped wearing our rings) I didn't even notice!!

The little one sleeps in my bed about 3/4 of the time now, I am starting to feel... territorial some evenings... especially after he keeps cuddling closer and closer all morning before until I almost have no space for myself any more.

 

Food is not awesome. Yes, I lost a bit of weight, I'm down to 98,3kg, but that is not at all due to good habits, quite the opposite actually. It's more due to not eating propperly while I work. Too tired to cook food afterwards. Nothing much packed...

 

I am tired a lot in general these last few evenings. But I am okay with catching up on some sleep. The 4am alarm has taken its toll.

 

20191215_143437.thumb.jpg.eb3ef566fb5249a9c338b027493e8adb.jpg

 

Went for a Kids-pick-me-up-after-work-stormy-walk-in-the-woods. That was very nice. My hip is still fucked, but I am walking, and biking and even walking off road in the woods last Saturday. I am not in constant pain, so it could be worse and I do want to get back to training, but I am also afraid that I exacerbate the iffy thing going on in my hip. Have not found a pt yet, haven't seriously looked for one yet either, so that could explain why not.

 

Anyway. That's not a bad xmas season, I believe. It's my first one ever to juggle work and home life, first one as an adult without hubby, though he will celebrate xmas eve with us.

 

I am okay with my life being as it is, and the things I am not okay about? Yeah, I'm working on those. I have no other adult to work out compromises with. Just some expectations of mine and reality, and those I can happily find compromises with.

Yes, I'll have guests, but they are guests, not live-in-people. The kids and I are the only people who truly matter about any decisions, everyone else... they'll be okay. And the kids and I? They love the tree, they love rearranging the presents to not-so-subtly feel them up and guess at their content. I ADORE planning christmas dinner and cooking it with my mum. Life could indeed be very much worse.

 

We'll have "Sahneschnitzel" for xmas dinner. Which is breaded pork, piles of mushrooms and onions, covered in insane amounts of wholefat cream, then baked until it all falls apart if you look at it too hard. As sides we have dumplings with homemade croutons for a filling, Krocketten (??) And I'll wrap green beens in bacon and panfry them... ice-cream for dessert, means I have no work with that and that's my plan. All things considered it could be worse. My in-laws come by for a few hours, but won't stay for dinner, and they bring asparagus cream soup which hubby can't do without, so we have soup, then an oppulent feast then ice-cream then more presents then my mum sleeping over, it could indeed be worse.

 

What do you make for xmas dinner? Is it a traditional meal, or something you switch up every year?

 

 

 

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You sound good, I am happy for you.

Your elder child saying "I don't really care either way," likely actually means "I care a lot, but I am unsure about how I actually feel about it, and I don't really want to talk any more about it or I might have feelings" which might mean you need to keep him informed without making a huge deal about it.

 

12 hours ago, Morag said:

What do you make for xmas dinner? Is it a traditional meal, or something you switch up every year?

I usually make some sort of pork roast or pork chops with mushroom gravy and mashed potatoes. The kids also really like my green beans (sauteed with garlic and shallots finished with some white wine), but the only real tradition that is sacrosanct is my chocolate mousse for dessert. It is a great recipe that is simple but not easy. Butter, sugar, vanilla, pinch of salt, really good chocolate, and lots of eggs. It is so rich and lovely... and has everyone bouncing off the walls in a sugar rush afterwards.

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17 hours ago, Morag said:

What do you make for xmas dinner? Is it a traditional meal, or something you switch up every year?

Our tradition is Xmas day breakfast.  Aebleskivers!  Lots and lots of them!!!  

 

We change up the other meals most of the time.  I grew up with a grandmother who burnt a lot of things so we often has pizza for Christmas eve and I'm going to do that this year.  For Christmas dinner a ham and elk roast are on the menu this year.  It isn't christmas if we don't have pie and cookies.  Gingersnap cookies are my favorite so I try to make one GF batch of them every year.  And I might make an apple pie with GF crust.  

 

 

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Gahhhh and I vanished again.

Bit aggravated about that, but here I am. Again.

 

I did start a new Journal, as discussed with my therapist. Did I mention here? She wants to wean me off, says I seem to be done with therapy, what is left to learn/do, I can do on my own. But I fret, I have no self-reflection implemented, just talking things through with her once a week, or every other week now. I feel I need tk internalize this process somehow.

So journaling.

 

Also main nutrition goals: staple meals and portion sizes.

 

I tried out freeletics nutrition recipes:

* Avocado feta egg

1/2 tsp olive oil

125g Cherry tomatoes, in halves fried up first

2 eggs sunny side up or scrambled added

50g feta cheese

1/2 avocado

Salt, pepper, lemon juice

 

And

* mushroom omlette

1 red onion

200g mushrooms

Fried in 1tsp olive oil then set aside

3 eggs turned into omlette in

2nd tsp of olive oil

Flipped

Veggies added back in,

30g parmesan

1tbsp of parsley (which I had to do without)

 

Both meals are very satisfying, both satiety-wise as well as how delicious they are. So that's definitely progress.

 

I'd like to add some sort of a rice meal to my quiver at some point, but so far I have two breakfast/lunch/dinner/brunch recipes, and that's just about as perfect as it gets.

 

I worry about not having enough variety, but eating willynilly has been what I have been doing, so any plan is better than no plan at all. And the plan that I can stick to is even better than any random plan. And I am, again, just starting out.

 

And I believe it is time to start thinking about next challenge.

I have a very light month ahead of me, work-wise, because I took three vacation days for that concert I have tickets for, so those are count towards my total work days, even though I'm not working them. Add in that I usually work 12-13 days a month, and they made the January a 12-days-month, that leaves a total of 9 days, of which New Year's Day was one, and so is the 3rd (=today), that leaves 3, almost 4, weeks and 7 work days throughout. That's not a lot at all.

 

So, yay. I plan to get some studying done, yay Korean!

I plan to find a physical therapist/osteopath for that hip twinge that is starting to piss me off due to the fact that it keeps me out of the gym and I am indeed starting to feel the jones for endorphins.

 

I plan to go ice skating with my sons at least twice before they close the rink down on the 13th.

Kids' schools start back up on the 6th, mine (Korean, yay) on the 9th.

 

The Hu Concert on the 15th.

 

Bondage thing on the 17th.

 

So far I am happy and healthy, enough, I have a mild case of the sniffles atm, but that is not impacting quality of life too badly.

 

I am knitting on a sweater I ADORE.1930001093_2020-01-0309_46_03.thumb.jpg.98c1b86e39011cdffd0c573fc6594fc4.jpg

 

My children have been at grandma's so long that I have MISSED them, so much so that they cannot do wrong (yet).

 

I have had some amazing weeks this last span and I am truly, truly lucky.

 

So thinking about a theme for the first challenge of 2020... I'll keep you apraised, but content wise I'm most certainly aiming this thing (that is my life) down the same road, staying the course, so to speak.

 

Hope you had a wonderful christmas and a new year's celebration fitting where you are. Hugs all around.

Be goot. Or take pics!

Don't do anything I wouldn't do 😉!

 

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