aramis Posted January 25, 2020 Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 2 hours ago, Salinger said: Mood wise, not too bad this morn. A lot of anxiety but im trying to keep it at bay. Depression has lifted a little What a wonderful news! 2 hours ago, Salinger said: I should also exercise, Exercise is not a duty (unless you make yourself think of it this way), it's an opportunity. If you think of it in terms of "should" or "need to", it feels like somebody told you to do it. But in reality exercise is fun activity which energizes you, makes your brain produce happy stuff, so it's good to treat it this way. Exercise because it's fun, not because "you should". 2 hours ago, Salinger said: trying hard to get into the mindset of habit Maybe just stop thinking about it. Just act. Go to the shop instead of driving there. It's a win-win, as you get some steps in, and you save on fuel Fancy go to the gym? Great! let's set the Saturday as the gym day for some time (mark it in your calendar) - you'll have something to wait for 1 Quote I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk. Challenges' status: Spoiler Not gonna Challenge anymore for now. I took Steve's words and started thinking in days and years. Challenges are just short-term distractions. #16 | #15 (Xmas mini) | #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1 Other activities: Bike build Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 25, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 8 minutes ago, aramis said: What a wonderful news! Exercise is not a duty (unless you make yourself think of it this way), it's an opportunity. If you think of it in terms of "should" or "need to", it feels like somebody told you to do it. But in reality exercise is fun activity which energizes you, makes your brain produce happy stuff, so it's good to treat it this way. Exercise because it's fun, not because "you should". Maybe just stop thinking about it. Just act. Go to the shop instead of driving there. It's a win-win, as you get some steps in, and you save on fuel Fancy go to the gym? Great! let's set the Saturday as the gym day for some time (mark it in your calendar) - you'll have something to wait for You know what, you may have hit the nail on the head Aramis!! I DO think of exercise as a duty...i think of it as a way to lose weight and stop hating myself. In reality, it IS an opportunity. Ive never thought of it like this!! Wow. Thank you. In other news, i just googled and found kettlebells at 50% off so i bought one! It will be delivered any time from not to 4pm, hope it comes sooner rather than later. I have been googling kettlebell workouts. excited to try it out. xx 3 Quote Link to comment
aramis Posted January 25, 2020 Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Salinger said: i bought one Seems a bit impulsive, but 50% off is quite a deal Is it cast iron one, or vinyl covered concrete? I found cast ones superior, as they are smaller with same weight compared to concrete ones. In weights up to 10kg it isn't a big issue, but at 16kg it was uncomfortable to even get in front rack position with concrete one. 1 hour ago, Salinger said: googling kettlebell workouts I can advise either NF begginer KB workout -> here, or one I use right now -> here. I made a cheat-sheet for the latter, just to have a visual of what exercise to do next. And I use Tabata timer app to count the times of sets. Spoiler 2 Quote I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk. Challenges' status: Spoiler Not gonna Challenge anymore for now. I took Steve's words and started thinking in days and years. Challenges are just short-term distractions. #16 | #15 (Xmas mini) | #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1 Other activities: Bike build Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 25, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 1 hour ago, aramis said: Seems a bit impulsive, but 50% off is quite a deal Erm, you know about bipolar?? hahahh very impulsive, gets me in trouble a lot. but yes, the 50% off had 2 days left so .... 1 hour ago, aramis said: Is it cast iron one, or vinyl covered concrete? I found cast ones superior, as they are smaller with same weight compared to concrete ones. In weights up to 10kg it isn't a big issue, but at 16kg it was uncomfortable to even get in front rack position with concrete one. It is cast iron xx Quote Link to comment
aramis Posted January 25, 2020 Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 1 hour ago, Salinger said: you know about bipolar Yeah, I know. Yet I wouldn't excuse every impulsive action with manic episode (or mental issues in general). I'm only depressive, but it doesn't stop me form acting impulsively sometimes 1 hour ago, Salinger said: It is cast iron Great choice I feel like cast iron ones are like old hand tools - they seem to have a soul of their own. 1 Quote I absolutely CAN run on caffeine and hatred. But only with a dash of milk. Challenges' status: Spoiler Not gonna Challenge anymore for now. I took Steve's words and started thinking in days and years. Challenges are just short-term distractions. #16 | #15 (Xmas mini) | #14 | #13 | #12 | #11 | #10 | #9 | #8 | #7 | #6 | #5 | #4 | #3 | #2 | #1 Other activities: Bike build Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 25, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 18 minutes ago, aramis said: Great choice I feel like cast iron ones are like old hand tools - they seem to have a soul of their own. Just got a text to say they will be here in 6 mins !!!!x Quote Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 25, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2020 Its here!!!!! Beauty! Also i madly cut my fringe haha its a bit wonky, oh well. Look at me not smiling Loving my jacket though!! xx 1 1 Quote Link to comment
Jupiter Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 18 hours ago, Salinger said: ps. Me and Jackson had a moment last night, he never sleeps on the sofa with me but last night, i was lying there watching the footy and he came and slept right in my hand True love ❤️ Awww, super cute!!! 13 hours ago, Salinger said: hahahh very impulsive, gets me in trouble a lot. but yes, the 50% off had 2 days left so .... Honestly, as impulsive choices go, that's not a bad one to make. And that's a nice kettle bell! Been catching up on your thread, and a lot's been said already, so I just want to say 'you got this'! 1 Quote New Battle Log, Old Battle Log, Current Challenge 2022 Challenges: Challenge 1, Challenge 2, Challenge 3, Challenge 4 2021 Challenges: Challenge 1, Challenge 2, Challenge 3, Challenge 4, Challenge 5, Challenge 6 2020 Challenges: Challenge 1, Challenge 2, Challenge 3, Challenge 4, Challenge 5, Challenge 6, Challenge 7 Link to comment
shaar Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 YESSSS KETTLEBELL, give it a name!! 2 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 2 hours ago, loire said: YESSSS KETTLEBELL, give it a name!! haha yes i should do.... erm..... VINCENT! x Quote Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 Hi all, did somebody say SELF DESTRUCTION????? I picked up the phone and i self destructed... Last night i ended up going out, drinking too much and taking too much cocaine. Now i feel awful, im exhausted and i feel guilty and all sorts. My own fault. Of course. I need to make better choices really. **SIGH** Im about to actually eat something (just a sandwich and crisps) but its 8pm and ive not eaten today. Ive slept most of the day. I need to have a solid week i think. Really try and do better. Maybe ill try to have a week off the booze and stay home and take care of myself. Write down my goals and why im doing 'this'. I am meant to have a date tomorrow...im a bit worried about it because i dont have much money really. I dont know what to do. aaghhhhhhh. Anyway, just being honest with you guys about what happened. ❤️ xx Quote Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 27, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 Hey all. 3.30am eeeeek. Sat up with some orange juice. Im getting a cold prob due to too much drugs and staying up late etc ugh. Feel really bad about myself but like i mentioned earlier on yesterday, im going to try to have a better week, food, exercise etc needs to be good. Im fed up of feeling bad. And poorly. Ive also got no money so i cant go out boozing or anything anyway...x 2 Quote Link to comment
TGP Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 yes, important to get yourself over it and try your best this week. ---- I think, You've had a few spells of the getting a cold feeling, without getting one. I find that curious. is it that you have some kind of allergy or do you figure your physically recovering from the weekend? or maybe I'm just goofy because the last time you talked about getting a cold; you DID get the cold. I can't remember. I do know that sometimes I feel like I'm going to get a cold and I don't. I'm usually not able to figure out whats going on when this happens. 1 Quote https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/116426-im-awake/ the "NEW" normal is good with me! as Life was Never really Normal anyways.... Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 27, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 15 minutes ago, TGP said: yes, important to get yourself over it and try your best this week. ---- I think, You've had a few spells of the getting a cold feeling, without getting one. I find that curious. is it that you have some kind of allergy or do you figure your physically recovering from the weekend? or maybe I'm just goofy because the last time you talked about getting a cold; you DID get the cold. I can't remember. I do know that sometimes I feel like I'm going to get a cold and I don't. I'm usually not able to figure out whats going on when this happens. I dont think its an allergy? I think its probably late nights. Exhaustion and not looking after myself probably!!! xx ___________ Hey all, 2.30pm, ive not done MUCH today, sorted the zine stuff out and looked at emails, also napped. I feel so tired but prob due to OVER sleeping. Ive slept so so much the past two days, and all i can think of is going BACK to bed awful. I have this bloody date tonight, im anxious and trying to think what to do. Get a tram and drink or make myself drive and just have a lemonade...like i have mentioned before, i hate first dates sober. But i did do it the other week with that boy so.... It would save money plus i want to have a week without drinking....hmmmmmm. Anyway, im going to google exhaustion and what it may be xx 2 Quote Link to comment
shaar Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 3 hours ago, Salinger said: make myself drive and just have a lemonade This. :3 Good luck, have fun!!! 1 Quote i am not waiting for a hero. i saved myself long ago. Level 56 Bardic Time-Mage; of the Furious Heart STR.55 DEX.43 STA.48 CON.51 WIS.53 CHA.65 "Well...in the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... ...But that's the way things are. The choice is yours." Link to comment
Maggie-Miau Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 About the dating - no pressure to answer if you don't want to or if this is too pushy, but what's the goal in dating? By that i mean, are you just wanting to meet a potential casual friend to have a good time with? fall in love? just sex if it strikes your fancy? maybe looking for validation from someone? I only ask because there seems to always be an element of dread involved so, is the dating something you actually want to do? If yes then great! If no then that's totally fine as well! But knowing whether and what you're wanting from it might help your nerves regarding pursuing these dates? 1 Quote Matthew 25:34-40 Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 27, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 47 minutes ago, Maggie-Miau said: About the dating - no pressure to answer if you don't want to or if this is too pushy, but what's the goal in dating? By that i mean, are you just wanting to meet a potential casual friend to have a good time with? fall in love? just sex if it strikes your fancy? maybe looking for validation from someone? I only ask because there seems to always be an element of dread involved so, is the dating something you actually want to do? If yes then great! If no then that's totally fine as well! But knowing whether and what you're wanting from it might help your nerves regarding pursuing these dates? Hey mia! I just get really anxious, I think because I feel that once they know me, they will dislike me... and other stuff like fear of abandonment so don’t like getting too close to a potential partner etc. i think I would like a relationship again, eventually...but as mentioned. It’s tough to accept someone liking me ! Which gets in the way a lot hahaha im early for the date (by 30 mins ffs) I drove in and it took quicker than usual to get to town. I have a book though and I’ve got a coke. The bar staff was surprised I didn’t want beer (I go here all the time) and he gave me it free hahhaha so yeah I suppose I just wait for them to arrive?! Aaghhhh hahaha x 1 Quote Link to comment
Maggie-Miau Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 Good luck with your date and i hope you have fun! ❤️ ❤️ 1 Quote Matthew 25:34-40 Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 27, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 12 minutes ago, Maggie-Miau said: Good luck with your date and i hope you have fun! ❤️ ❤️ Did I make sense? Eeek sorry if not. but thank you so much xx Quote Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 Hey all. Im home, cup of tea and a biscuit. Well tonight was....interesting!! We got on well, i think i found her attractive?! We had a good few laughs once we both relaxed. It was strange being sober...especially as we were in a pub (the date with that boy was in a coffee shop so no alcohol was 'normal') We have stuff in common, she's in a punk band, sings, guitar and can play drums. also a lawyer for accounting organisation or something. We chatted a bit about childhood and she casually dropped in that she was trans...i was really surprised. I dont know...never had a date with someone trans or anything. Doesnt really matter to me like. Anyway, now its that time when i start panicking HAHA She said she wanted to see me again. Coming home though its like retreating into myself, you know? Im good at isolating myself ... Oh and i didnt drink, good decision made there will try to do it again tomorrow!! x 2 Quote Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 6 hours ago, loire said: This. :3 Good luck, have fun!!! Thanks lovely xx Quote Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 28, 2020 Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, Salinger said: Oh and i didnt drink, good decision made there Wow, and in a pub too?? I'm so proud of you!! Look at you sticking to your goals and keeping promises to yourself!! ❤️❤️❤️ I wonder if your sniffles are because of how cold it is in your apartment? That can't be easy on your health, I would imagine! 2 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 52 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 5 minutes ago, SkyGirl said: Wow, and in a pub too?? I'm so proud of you!! Look at you sticking to your goals and keeping promises to yourself!! ❤️❤️❤️ I wonder if your sniffles are because of how cold it is in your apartment? That can't be easy on your health, I would imagine! Yes, my number one pub too.... they laughed when i ordered a coke and gave it me free haha thanks so much Sky! Could be, yes...maybe a combination of everything ... it being so cold here, the drugs and the late nights?!! xx 1 Quote Link to comment
SkyGirl Posted January 28, 2020 Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Salinger said: Yes, my number one pub too.... they laughed when i ordered a coke and gave it me free haha thanks so much Sky! Could be, yes...maybe a combination of everything ... it being so cold here, the drugs and the late nights?!! xx I just wonder because I've been a lot more sickly this past year than normal, and my friends keep telling me it's because of my smoking neighbor. So I wondered if it could be the chill in your apartment - and I'm positive all the stress and strain you've been under makes you more run-down too. ❤️ 1 Quote SKY ELVENWORD NOBLEHEART The Silver Archer, Ranger Level 52 Jesus-follower | Writer | Encourager | Resident Myers-Briggs and Enneagram Geek "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people." - Fred Rogers Link to comment
Salinger Posted January 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2020 1 minute ago, SkyGirl said: I just wonder because I've been a lot more sickly this past year than normal, and my friends keep telling me it's because of my smoking neighbor. So I wondered if it could be the chill in your apartment - and I'm positive all the stress and strain you've been under makes you more run-down too. ❤️ Defo yes, lately (as in the past week) ive been working with my duvet round / over me.... which helps! Not when i need a wee or a drink though.....!! haha x Quote Link to comment
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