Salinger's twenty eighth challenge!

[Salinger]

Hey, my word, ive not slept a wink, (maybe i got an hour im unsure) but ive been 'up' out of bed since around 4am... its just past 6am at the minute, ive been to the shop haha i needed milk, and got some grapes and salmon whilst there too. It is a 24 hour shop, its kind of eery at that time, people are starting work etc, very quiet as you would expect. I kept thinking a zombie was going to run at me, all to the awful soundtrack of Ed bloody Sheeran. What a way to die!!!

 

Because i WOULD die, i cant run away....maybe thats a good motivation to get fit? So i can escape the zombies. I did try zombie 5k, but found it boring and the womans voice did my head in hahahahah

 

Anyway, can you tell im a little tiny bit manic? I get this way when ive not slept. 

 

Im drinking tea and i had some cereal. Ive planned out my diet today, need this week to be good food wise! (i know i keep saying that but the more i say it the more its likely to happen!) 

 

Yesterday wasnt great food wise, but i didnt drink alcohol, so a bit of a winner for the day i suppose. 

 

I should say at the end of the day all ive had to eat, then i may second think the crap choices?! 

 

I need to get rid of this cold really, should have bought oranges oh well. I have orange JUICE. and lemsip.

 

Been thinking a bit about the date, i think my issue is that i find it really very hard to let new people 'in' to my life. Friend wise it isnt too much of a big deal but relationship wise, its like, so much changes. And im unsure i want things to change (as in independence stuff, alone time and everything) i dunno, i should chill out about it all. Ill try not to think of it today.

 

So yeah...its meant to snow/sleet this morning. Only a little bit, its very cold out but it seemed clear to me so i doubt it will. My friend was in Scotland this weekend and almost couldnt get back due to the snow up there!!!!! He had to stop in Glasgow for the night due to the conditions. Said it was the scariest he has ever driven in....

 

im blabbering

 

Ok i will try to make today better than the past week!!!!!! xx

[aramis]

4 hours ago, Salinger said:

Ok i will try to make today better than the past week

 

Just don't overdo. Baby steps, remember. 

Your life is already a rollercoaster ride because of things you have no control over (funding, exhibitions, not to mention bipolar), so lets try to balance it a bit where we can. Making your nutrition stable would be first step. Some sort of exercise routine is a good follow-up, but let's take things slowly - nutrition first.

[Salinger]

56 minutes ago, aramis said:

 

Just don't overdo. Baby steps, remember. 

Your life is already a rollercoaster ride because of things you have no control over (funding, exhibitions, not to mention bipolar), so lets try to balance it a bit where we can. Making your nutrition stable would be first step. Some sort of exercise routine is a good follow-up, but let's take things slowly - nutrition first.

 

Yes.... baby steps, need to remember that!! Diet is plotted out, calories 1940....

 

Ok lets try to sort my afternoon out??x

 

_______

 

Hey all. Midday here. Aghhhh not the best morning, like i said earlier, i hadnt slept at all. Then i DID fall asleep around 9am, to 11am. Feel very tired and on a 'comedown' sorta from the lack of sleep manic mode!!!

 

Need to focus. 

 

I also got a bad email my big grant was rejected and im pretty sad about it, i put a hell of a lot of work into the application, like always. And its just another fucking rejection. Would have sorted me out financially for a year. 😢 sad. 

 

Trying hard not to tumble ... its difficult guys. So much stress right now coming from ALL directions. 

 

Anyway, this afternoon. I want to get these things done...

 

- Tidy kitchen, wash dishes, put things away, clean surfaces. 

- Tidy desk, bin rubbish, stack books.

- Water houseplants.

- Change Jacksons litter.

- Take bins outside, and message landlord about new outdoor bin. 

- Take the bloody Christmas tree outside!

- Put fairy lights up around kitchen doors.

- Make my bed, change bedding.

- Write diary stuff out for the next few days.

- Make pasta bake with veggies and chicken for dinner.

- Have a bath and wash hair.

- Watch the football, relax...

 

Want to be able to settle down later, light some candles, chill out in a clean room, ready for an early night of sleep (i hope) xx

 

 

 

[aramis]

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

its difficult guys. So much stress right now coming from ALL directions.

First of all - gargantuan amount of HUGS to you! I know hugs in person would be better, but... you know... logistics.

Anyway. 

53 minutes ago, Salinger said:

my big grant was rejected

Is there a way to ask for reconsideration?

 

And how badly it influences you? Does your day-to-day budget depended on it, or was it "extra" funding for more art projects? Does this rejection means you need to postpone something you already put in motion, or just you won't be able to run additional exhibitions?

I know answering those questions might be tough, but it will show some perspective about this rejected grant.

 

 

53 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Diet is plotted out, calories 1940

Great, now just stick to it  

And to make things easier to stick to - how about pre-cooking your meals for couple days ahead? I know I'm absolutely fine with eating same things again and again, but I know some people hate this. 

 

And another thing - in many NF articles it is mentioned - words have power. And thus word "diet" being something temporary isn't the best to use in terms of levelling up your eating habits. I know I might sound as some lunatic Amway salesman, but (at least for me) using "nutrition" instead of "diet" gives me this feeling it's something to last.

 

55 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Anyway, this afternoon. I want to get these things done...

That's a solid plan, and in my opinion - quite a workout as well  People often don't realize how much moving is involved in mundane house chores. 

[Salinger]

6 minutes ago, aramis said:

 

Is there a way to ask for reconsideration?

 

And how badly it influences you? Does your day-to-day budget depended on it, or was it "extra" funding for more art projects? Does this rejection means you need to postpone something you already put in motion, or just you won't be able to run additional exhibitions?

I know answering those questions might be tough, but it will show some perspective about this rejected grant.

 

 

 

 

No   its final... frustratingly. My day to day doesnt depend on it, it was extra funding really, mainly to keep my 'afloat' for the next year. *SiGH* 

 

The big exhibition in April, that funding will be decided in 5 weeks and the show DOES rely on the money. Big major anxiety, cos ill have to postpone if thats ALSO rejected!!

 

1 hour ago, aramis said:

 

 

 

Great, now just stick to it  

And to make things easier to stick to - how about pre-cooking your meals for couple days ahead? I know I'm absolutely fine with eating same things again and again, but I know some people hate this. 

 

Yes maybe i could cook a bit this afternoon? I dont have a microwave though so reheating is tough....What kind of things may be good to cook ? What do you do ?

 

1 hour ago, aramis said:

 

 

That's a solid plan, and in my opinion - quite a workout as well  People often don't realize how much moving is involved in mundane house chores. 

 

Moving the bloody tree and bins had me sweating hahahahah xx

[Salinger]

Hey all!!

 

3pm here, just had a 45 min chat with my dad on the phone, was really good to catch up with him. Not seen my parents for almost 2 months i miss them!

 

Here i have done things...

 

 

- Tidy kitchen, wash dishes, put things away, clean surfaces. 

- Tidy desk, bin rubbish, stack books.

- Water houseplants.

- Change Jacksons litter.

- Take bins outside, and message landlord about new outdoor bin. 

- Take the bloody Christmas tree outside!

- Put fairy lights up around kitchen doors.

- Make my bed, change bedding.

- Write diary stuff out for the next few days.

- Make pasta bake with veggies and chicken for dinner.

- Have a bath and wash hair.

- Watch the football, relax...

 

Wooooo tree is now outside, as are bins. I saw a rat in the yard yuk, i NEED an outside bin. Ive messaged my landlord again. 

 

Fairy lights look great i think?!

 

 

Im pleased  its pretty cosy. 

 

Im freezing as i opened the window to air the room out. Stil feel cosy though. Its shut now, as the rain pours down. 

 

I would make my bed but Jackson is sleeping on there and i dont want to disturb him, ill sort it later on. 

 

Now, cooking...ill google what i could make?? Any ideas? 

 

Prob good idea to have stuff in. 

 

Done a bit of work work but im pleased with what ive done tidying wise today xx

[aramis]

55 minutes ago, Salinger said:

My day to day doesnt depend on it, it was extra funding really,

Okay. So it might be bit of a stretch (or rather a huge one), but in this particular case you lost surplus, not some viable funding. Could be worse. 

Spoiler

I know, it could be way, way better too, but I'm trying to see any positive side of this situation

 

 

53 minutes ago, Salinger said:

The big exhibition in April, that funding will be decided in 5 weeks and the show DOES rely on the money. Big major anxiety,

Not really anything to do now except waiting, so we can focus on other things as well. I know easier said than done, but the point stands.

 

58 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Moving the bloody tree and bins had me sweating

YAY strength training!

 

55 minutes ago, Salinger said:

just had a 45 min chat with my dad on the phone, was really good to catch up with him

Great to hear that! Sometimes having a talk like this can be very soothing.

 

 

56 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Now, cooking...ill google what i could make?? Any ideas? 

 

In most cases I prep my lunch food for whole week ahead. I have a microwave at work, but my food can be easily reheated in a pot or on a pan.

I'm a fan of one-pot meals. In most cases I take some sort of meat (depends on what is ona sale at the moment) - chicken breast, boneless tights, pork loin or shoulder, turkey leg (turkey breast is expensive here). Those are most low-fat, but to be honest anything more meaty than pork belly/bacon will do.

I also use frozen veggies - they are in pretty every grocery store, there wide variety of mixes to choose from, and they are relatively cheaper than fresh ones. 

For carbs I use rice (brown, white, basmati or whatever) or groats (mostly millet or buckwheat - because I like those).

 

I usually start with cooking rice/groats. I use boil-in-bag, because it is easier to cook and rinse, and I don't need to be afraid of burning it. 

When it cooks I cut the meat in chunks of approx. half my thumb in size, season it with pretty anything - salt, black pepper, red paprika, curry... anything goes. If I fancy more "Asian" taste, I use dark soy sauce instead of salt. More "Italian" taste? Herbes de Provence or any other herb mix. 

Then I fry the meat to close it, put a lid on and let it stew till it's soft (pork or turkey needs some time, chicken is done pretty instantly... obviously). When ready, I stew it for some time more without lid to boil out excess water.

 

In the meantime I stew my frozen veggies. I just put some fat in a pot (lard, coconut oil or even garlic olive oil) and when it's hot I shove in frozen vegs, adding salt and any seasoning I fancy. I keep it on medium heat under lid to keep the moisture inside and stew it till veggies are ready (mixing occasionally). This is best method for any cut veggie mix. If pieces are big, they would burn or overcook in this method.

 

Then I shove everything together, mix (sometimes stew it together for the rice to suck in excessive water/juice) it and portion in tupperware containers. When cooled down, I close it tight and store in fridge (NOT the freezer) for up to a week. For almost a year of making food this way I only once had doubt about freshness - it was stormy season and I found last batch of millet groats suspicious. But after reheating it on a frying pan (on a bit of water) it came okay. 

 

For bigger bits, like frozen broccoli/cauliflower heads, baby potatoes or similar, I just cook them on a baking sheet in the oven (again - salt, pepper, garlic - powder or granulated).

When having those, I mix only meat with rice/groats, and put baked veggies on the side of a container.

 

If you don't like mixing rice with meat, you can thicen the meat juice with flour and/or cream to create sort of gravy. Then you can have three-part dish - meat stew, carb side and veggies. I don't actually do that, because I don't have bento boxes - I use plain 1 liter rectangular tupperware. 

 

Another option is stewed cabbage with meat of your choice and side of baked potatoes. Or spinach. I LOVE spinach, with lots of garlic (even if it means I'll be gassy for a week), finely chopped chicken breast and white rice. The trick is to first prepare chicken but don't boil off the juice, and then use said juice to stew frozen spinach. 

 

Besides, stewing anything can benefit if you replace water with chicken broth/bouillon cubes. 

 

Or you can make risotto. 

 

Or any sort of goulash/stew soup (great for using all the leftovers).

 

Or casserole (if you can eat pasta - I can't).

 

Or potato babka (sort of potato pie with onion and meat/sausage).

 

And the best part - any of the above can be easily reheated in a pot or on the frying pan. Just add bit of water/oil at the beginning to prevent catching/burning and stir while heating up. 

Casserole and babka are better reheated in the oven, or fried in chunks on a frying pan.

[Salinger]

Hey these are really great ideas @aramis thank you so much !!!!

 

So ive spent a bit of time looking through stuff, and your ideas...this is what im going to do. 

 

- Cook salmon in oven (in lemon juice, fresh thyme, black pepper)

- Cook chicken in oven (in fajita spices) 

- Tin of tuna prepared in 2 mins on the day of eating

 

- Boil baby potatoes then smash slightly and season with butter, lemon juice and black pepper

- Cook rice and portion

- Cook pasta and portion

 

- Roast veggies (tomatoes, red onion, courgettes, aubergine, mushroom, green beans - splash of oil, black pepper and fresh thyme) 

- Frozen veggies can be steamed in 5 mins on the day of eating. (green beans, peas, carrots, sweetcorn)

 

- Salads chopped up and portioned (lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, radish, sweetcorn, hard boiled egg)

 

Generally i can pick one from each, so salmon, potatoes and roast veggies, or chicken, rice and frozen veggies, or chicken, pasta, and salad....etc etc. 

 

I will make the roasted veggies tonight i think...its 7pm now so most i will do tomorrow. Have a nice morning cooking, i hope i feel up to it!!!!! 

 

And ill have some of the veggies with pasta and chicken (which was my plan and its tracked in my days NUTRITION ) 

 

Need to nip to the shop for some mushrooms and courgettes... i would walk but its pouring down so ill drive. But when im back i will do some squats with my kettle bell

 

xx

 

[aramis]

58 minutes ago, Salinger said:

Generally i can pick one from each

Great idea - portion everything separately and mix'n'match as you fancy  

 

And when you find you cooked too much, you can always freeze the surplus (in your new sweet fridge ).

[Salinger]

48 minutes ago, aramis said:

Great idea - portion everything separately and mix'n'match as you fancy  

 

And when you find you cooked too much, you can always freeze the surplus (in your new sweet fridge ).

 

Exactly yeah !!

 

the roasted veggies are ready... the flat smells delightful right now. 

 

Before

 

 

After

 

 

 

Yum....!!!

 

Ill let it cool then portion it up

 

I did some squats with my kettlebell and deadlift type stuff (used a youtube follow along) 

 

Now i will run a bath i think ... xx

[Salinger]

Had a bath, watched the footy, trying to relax cos the brain demons are attacking me the past hour aaghhh xx

[SkyGirl]

Catching up, Sal - good job on your to-do list, despite the rough night and disappointing news!! You are doing so great at the baby steps and I'm so proud of you!

 

Your veggies look AMAZING!! My goodness, I bet your place smelled incredible!!   

 

I hope you get lots more sleep tonight!!  ❤️ 

[Salinger]

8 hours ago, SkyGirl said:

Catching up, Sal - good job on your to-do list, despite the rough night and disappointing news!! You are doing so great at the baby steps and I'm so proud of you!

 

Your veggies look AMAZING!! My goodness, I bet your place smelled incredible!!   

 

I hope you get lots more sleep tonight!!  ❤️ 

 

Thanks Sky

 

Yes smelt so good last night. 

 

I slept well thank you ...!

 

 

____________

 

Morning all. I slept so well last night i could cry. The bath surely helped  and exhaustion.

 

Ive been up since 7am working though. I had to pop the heating on too as was just so so cold. Need to turn it off now, not much credit on there. 

 

I have stuff to do today as always, so ill make the check list.

 

- Create a document with all the work for the upcoming exhibition

- Send document to curators who will be writing essays for catalogue

- Track nutrition for the day

- Stick to days nutrition plan

- Drink three glasses of water 

- Take meds

- COOK! Make a number of pre cooked meals and store in fridge

- Keep kitchen clean

- Make bed/change sheets

- Reply to incoming emails

- Do a workout using kettlebell

- Watch the football this evening, relax

 

ALREADY done three bits on the daily list woooo and its only 9am!

 

Ste is coming round this eve to watch the footy which will be nice to see him. Usually i would defo drink some beers but will try hard to stick to tea/water/juice. 

 

Will hopefully have a good day x

 

 

[aramis]

1 hour ago, Salinger said:

I slept so well last night i could cry. The bath surely helped  and exhaustion.

Woot on good sleep!

 

Don't mistake exhaustion with physical tiredness though (I know, I'm picking on the words again ). Exhaustion from undereating, dehydration and overall "slowness" only makes you sleep worse. I think you slept well because you moved a lot. I always sleep better when I'm physically tired. Being happy with results of anything that made you tired also helps a lot  

[Salinger]

4 hours ago, aramis said:

Woot on good sleep!

 

Don't mistake exhaustion with physical tiredness though (I know, I'm picking on the words again ). Exhaustion from undereating, dehydration and overall "slowness" only makes you sleep worse. I think you slept well because you moved a lot. I always sleep better when I'm physically tired. Being happy with results of anything that made you tired also helps a lot  

 

Im really struggling today Aramis. Tiredness feels on another level. YUK!!!

 

Dont know why after such a good sleep last night!  xx

[aramis]

Out of curiosity - have you tried break through this by actually moving more? Do some squats, jumping jacks or jog in place. Pretty anything just to raise your heart rate. I'm not sure it will help (because I have no idea of the cause), but it might. Living in chill place also drains your energy and probably makes you tired - moving more can warm you up for some time. 

Maybe weather is changing?  Atmospheric pressure fluctuations can also have such an impact on some people, me included. 

[Salinger]

5 minutes ago, aramis said:

Out of curiosity - have you tried break through this by actually moving more? Do some squats, jumping jacks or jog in place. Pretty anything just to raise your heart rate. I'm not sure it will help (because I have no idea of the cause), but it might. Living in chill place also drains your energy and probably makes you tired - moving more can warm you up for some time. 

Maybe weather is changing?  Atmospheric pressure fluctuations can also have such an impact on some people, me included. 

 

No i havent done that. it feels impossible to move much. I will try now. 

 

I defo think i need to call the doctors, im also having some mental health physical stuff. (like hallucinating a bit - walls and floor moving) and headache/brain zaps. Not nice. 

 

Its getting colder out but weather has generally been boring and cloudy for ages 

 

xx

[aramis]

5 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I defo think i need to call the doctors, im also having some mental health physical stuff. (like hallucinating a bit - walls and floor moving) and headache/brain zaps. Not nice. 

Yes, you'd better. Even if everything is okay, better check and be sure than ignore something and let it develop in some serious problem.

Hugs!

[Salinger]

5 minutes ago, aramis said:

Yes, you'd better. Even if everything is okay, better check and be sure than ignore something and let it develop in some serious problem.

Hugs!

 

Just called, was having to wait 4 weeks for an appointment but someone had cancelled just before i called so i can see them at 9.50am on Friday!!!! phew. xx

[Maggie-Miau]

*sends hugs* best wishes for your doctor's appointment! i hope there's nothing wrong, but if there is then hopefully it'll get sorted quickly and you can get to feeling better soon ❤️ do self-care as best you can in the meantime love ❤️

[Salinger]

4 hours ago, Maggie-Miau said:

*sends hugs* best wishes for your doctor's appointment! i hope there's nothing wrong, but if there is then hopefully it'll get sorted quickly and you can get to feeling better soon ❤️ do self-care as best you can in the meantime love ❤️

 

Thank you Mia. x

 

Ste came round, we watched the footy. It was lovely to catch up with him.  xx

[Salinger]

Hey all. just gone midday here. Spend the last hour trying to sort out council tax bills stress. But the guy on the phone was so nice. I have applied for some support and i should have been getting a cheaper rate due to living alone too so he has added that on. Worry worry. 

 

Stuff to do today, as always im exhausted and just want to sleep, its frustrating as im thinking of starting to drink coffee or take pro plus .... which i know wont help. 

 

Docs tmoro though. 

 

I have mapped out my nutrition for the day ( @aramis i take your advice on the words i use!) i'm at 1,709 cals...

 

This afternoons to do list...

 

- Send emails to welder to arrange meeting

- Reply to any other incoming emails

- Work on catalogue pages

- Stick to nutrition plan

- Drink 3 glasses of water

- Do a kettlebell workout (at home) 

- Tidy kitchen, clean dishes

- Read for 30 mins

- Relax in the eve, maybe watch a film? 

 

I guess thats ok! x

[aramis]

3 hours ago, Salinger said:

I guess thats ok!

It's a great list!

 

Which reminds me I should stick to mine instead of wasting time online  

Off to getting stuff one!

Hugs!

[Salinger]

1 hour ago, aramis said:

It's a great list!

 

I barely did a thing Aramis. I WENT TO BED FOR FuCK SAKE

 

I feel a bit refreshed now, at 5.20pm im so annoyed. 

 

I have no clue whats going on .... but the only time im feeling ok is when i lie down and stretch out in bed and fall asleep. 

 

Perhaps the depression has really taken its toll.  ugh i duno. Frustrating. 

 

Also ive eaten a toasted teacake this morning and thats it. So ive failed massively all day. 

 

Sorry to be disappointing x

[Maggie-Miau]

4 minutes ago, Salinger said:

I feel a bit refreshed now, at 5.20pm im so annoyed. 

 

I have no clue whats going on .... but the only time im feeling ok is when i lie down and stretch out in bed and fall asleep. 

 

Perhaps the depression has really taken its toll.  ugh i duno. Frustrating. 

 

Also ive eaten a toasted teacake this morning and thats it. So ive failed massively all day. 

 

Sorry to be disappointing x

 

Sounds like depression to me. Try not to beat yourself up about it, as that will only make you feel worse. Do you have time to do anything from your list, or is there one thing you can do to give yourself a little win for the day?

4 hours ago, Salinger said:

- Drink 3 glasses of water

- Do a kettlebell workout (at home) 

- Tidy kitchen, clean dishes

- Read for 30 mins

- Relax in the eve, maybe watch a film? 

 

^those all sound like things that might still be within the realm of possibility if you just pick one to do? (of course the water would need to be spaced out but, depending on what time you intend to go to bed you could probably get a glass or two in? not too much or too fast though )