Jump to content

Whisper tries something else.


Whisper

Recommended Posts

It has been an expensive weekend for clothes. I've got two shirts coming from K-Mart, hoping both will fit. Two more coming from Target, different sizes so hopefully one will fit. Picked up a shirt on clearance at Duluth, and a pair of pants. Ordered two more sale pants from Duluth's website. All told nearly $300, but it will allow me to clear some of the marginal clothes out of my closet, and hopefully I'll be able to dress a bit more nicely.

 

Thank you all for the support and suggestions. It feels weird to talk about this stuff to most people, so it is good to be able to share here.

  • Like 5

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

Had the worst drive into work this morning in years. Couldn't see any lanes in the road, snow drifting everywhere. Only about half the plant made it in and they've decided to send us home at 11 and call off night shift. Bell practice at church got cancelled too.

  • Like 2

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

Monday: Got off work at 11. It took me nearly an hour to drive home, then I spent about two hours shoveling snow. It would have been even longer, but a neighbor with a snowblower came to help me. No bells that night, but was pretty well spent from shoveling so didn't do much else that night.

 

Tuesday: Full day at work. M was a bit late picking me up, and actually arrived with a friend in the friends car as they were spending the day together and it would have taken longer to get back to our car. Sat and talked with M for a while, she's super freaked out about her social security hearing on Thursday. While talking, her damn lawyer finally called her back and they talked for a bit. Plan is to meet the lawyer half an hour before the hearing. I won't be able to go in with them, but will be called in as a witness at some point. M read the letter I had sent to her lawyer for the judge and said that she was sorry that things had been so awful. I really didn't know what to say to that.

 

Wednesday: Another full, busy day at work. M was supposed to pick me up, but right before the end of my shift got a text from her asking if I could get one of my co-workers a ride to her place as she was still trying to get stuff together and was all in a panik. Fortunately, I was able to get a ride, and by the time we got there, she was down in the car. She asked to stay with me tonight as she is worried about not waking up for the hearing tomorrow. Her building is closed, so it isn't like I could have just gone to her place if she didn't answer. We drove back to my place, assured the lady of the house that she didn't need to make dinner just for M and I (she and her husband had a late lunch). I had some leftovers and made some stuff M had brought with while M was downstairs trying to get a bunch of papers organized for the hearing, and freaking out about not knowing how to answer questions like "What do you do in a typical day?"

 

I finally convinced her that she was as ready as she was going to be, and that keeping pushing herself at it was just going to tie her mind in knots. Much upsetness and tears and me not being sure how to help. Finally convinced her that the most productive thing she could do would be to put the stuff aside and play a game. She started playing and I went down for orchestra practice. We're just tonight getting music for Lent and Easter, but it looks like good stuff. Lots of work to do for it.

 

Got back home again. My news pants from Duluth had arrived, and so had my KMart shirts. It was really uncomfortable taking off a Duluth 42x30 and putting on a 50x34, but I reminded myself that it wasn't that I've ballooned massively, I'm just trying things that fit in a different way. I think it'll work out fairly well, and I like that with their flex stuff, it looks good, is sturdy, and still has a really good range of motion. It was harder when I went to try on the shirts. I took off a Basic Edition 3XLT and put on a Basic Edition 3XLT that bulged at the seam! Same freaking brand and size and it is now tiny! Fortunately, they messed up the order and the 2nd shirt was 4XL. It was too short, but around worked. Debating trying to get the two shirts in 4XLT, or just calling it done. Hopefully the Target shirts work out.

 

Anyway, going to bed soon but wanted to catch up here before I got too far behind. If you're of the praying sort, M and I could really use them tomorrow morning. 

  • Like 3

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

Just out of M's hearing. I didn't get called as a witness. They found that she cannot work. Still has processing time, but this is what we needed today.

  • Like 3

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

I brought Intuitive Eating with me to read while waiting for M's hearing to happen. The security guard in the waiting room noticed the title and I ended up speaking with him the entire time. He was strongly promoting weight loss surgery; he had it last year and had gone from 450 lbs down to 200 lbs and was really happy that he finally did it.

 

It was a good conversation, and honestly, it made me start thinking about trying it myself. I know I need to lose the weight and I can't seem to do it on my own. Maybe if this whole IE thing doesn't work, I'll look into having some sort of procedure...

 

But first, I do want to give IE a real chance. I like what I'm reading (albeit slowly) and I'm trying to embrace the first principle of rejecting the diet mentality. Nothing is forbidden, I can eat anything I want, when I want it. I had a chocolate covered marshmallow thing I got from See's while reading the book and part of me felt delightfully transgressive, but I know that there is no trespass there. I wanted it, I enjoyed it, I have another one that I can enjoy when I want later. The lady of the house offered me a lemon cupcake a little bit ago and I thought about it. I could have it, it would be fine if I did, but I'm not really hungry right now, and I'm not a big fan of lemon, so for now at least, I'll pass on it.

 

I haven't seen anything in the book about weighing oneself yet, but I'm thinking I might put my scale away for a while and just try not to worry or think about my weight while I'm learning to listen to when my body is hungry or full and what it really wants to eat.

  • Like 5

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

I hit [Submit Reply] and picked up my book again. I skimmed down the page I was reading, and in bold italics I beheld the words:

The Scale as False Idol

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
  • That's Metal 1

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment
32 minutes ago, Whisper said:

I hit [Submit Reply] and picked up my book again. I skimmed down the page I was reading, and in bold italics I beheld the words:

The Scale as False Idol

Yeah, I kinda figured you'd stumble across that one pretty quick ;) 

  • Like 2

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

Link to comment

Glad you and M got the news you were hoping for in court. 

It sounds like its been a whirlwind and I am sure once its concluded you both will feel some relief. 

 

I struggle with the idea of weight loss surgery personally. I know it has helped so many people.. in fact it has helped my uncle (a decade + ago) and my aunt (more recently). My uncle has gained some back. It is definitely not an easy way out. 

  • Like 1

{Chase the wind and touch the sky; I will fly}

 

Link to comment

Today has been another really rough day in the world of M. She had the follow-up for her kidney stone surgery and they had to insert the scope up her urethra again. I can only imagine how uncomfortable and embarrassing that would be for most people, but with sexual assault history and PTSD problems? Yeah, everything with was dialed up to eleven. Tried to stay calm and not react when things set her off but it was hard and there were times where I snapped back at her. I never seem to manage enough grace.

  • Like 1

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment
24 minutes ago, Whisper said:

Today has been another really rough day in the world of M. She had the follow-up for her kidney stone surgery and they had to insert the scope up her urethra again. I can only imagine how uncomfortable and embarrassing that would be for most people, but with sexual assault history and PTSD problems? Yeah, everything with was dialed up to eleven. Tried to stay calm and not react when things set her off but it was hard and there were times where I snapped back at her. I never seem to manage enough grace.

You've already gone far above and beyond for M. You've displayed a lot of grace. I know you don't want to snap at all, but you do have limits, and from what you've described this is toxic, co-dependent relationship. That sort of thing does not breed infinite patience. I ask you to give yourself some grace.

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1

Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

Link to comment

799839728_IMG_56871.thumb.jpg.6f144839ab2ee20b3d6d94220243c59b.jpg20191022_162251.thumb.jpg.4cfa30e85542cd5facaf5086461a119a.jpg

  • Like 3

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

I'm fairly happy with this challenge. I stuck around better than I often do, even if I did give up on following and filling in my tables. I like having them, so I'll probably give them another go, but not going to give up on everything if I can't keep up with them.

 

New thread here.

  • Like 3

We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

New here? Please check out our Privacy Policy and Community Guidelines