iatetheyeti Posted January 13, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2020 Day One Week Two Today was one of those days fuelled mostly by spite. Whether it was spite against myself or spite against work or spite against anything else didn't matter. It fuelled me. I had a very bad night last night, enough so that on waking this morning my thoughts were in a very dark place and I was leaning into them rather than trying to fight against them. And then work turned into a whole entire shitshow and that just pissed me off. I worked far harder than I needed to or indeed should have done, considering the circumstances, all for the sake of a nonverbal 'up yours' to the Overlord, who I have come to realise I actually hate. Now, I dislike a fair number of people, but actual hatred? That's a rarity for me. This guy ticks all the wrong boxes to the extent that I struggle to keep my professional mask up. But the less I focus on him the better. Today I actually got off of my ass and did a proper workout for the first time this year. That too was fuelled by spite, but spite saw me through. Thankfully my spite against myself does have some limits, and I picked the NF beginner bodyweight workout rather than something stupid punishing. Even so, I coughed and spluttered and sweated my way through all three rounds of that and finished up with an extended corpse pose because I was a little jelly-legged. Goals-wise today, that puts me in a somewhat decent place for the first time this challenge. food - I'm reasonably confident I've hit and passed the 2000 calorie mark despite not tracking, and I've definitely hit the 2L mark fitness - I did my fifteen minutes of mobility as a warm-up to my workout. Did plan to do some yoga after, but was not capable. This time. wellbeing - Lagging here a little. No meditation this morning because mediation at 4am will put me back to sleep. No positive affirmations, the opposite happened instead. Have not done anything creative today and probably won't because I'll be heading to bed shortly in preparation for another 4am start tomorrow. And I don't think washing three dishes counts as hitting my household goals. But I guess at least I'm talking? I'm tired. Not just physically, mentally. I hate this constant cycle of being reasonable level, then dipping down into dangerous waters, and then being reasonable level again. I kind of think being so exhausted in the actual physical sense all the time doesn't help this, but there's not much I can do about that that'll work quickly. As for the rest, well, that's basically why I'm self-referring to a professional, because I'm out of ideas. Speaking of which, I do need to remember to pick up new printer ink to actually print out the form tomorrow. 4 Quote "The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring." Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram Link to comment
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