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Bean Sidhe vs Chaos – Trying again, only with routines


Bean Sidhe

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On 1/25/2020 at 1:00 AM, fleaball said:

It sounds like Mentor's whole spiel was less about Bean and more about "hey I have the secret to weight loss!" Plenty of people seem to think that the way they do it is the One and Only Way and they have to educate everyone on it. As hard as it is, try not to take it personally. Just roll your eyes and remember that like you said, you're stronger than he is anyway and he clearly doesn't have all the answers he thinks he does. ❤️

 

And I knew that was it, but it was that moment of "Dude, don't" I get he was being helpful, but that was the first moment with him I really went "you are talking out your arse."  He tried to do it to fun coworker the next day (after I told her what he said) and she shot him down with "Maybe for you, but you have no fat to burn. I do."  But I think I am just getting tired of the last 6 months, year of "Hey, you should feel..." , "You should do...."  and all I want to scream is "Its not that simple. You are not me"

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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19 hours ago, Rookie said:

I get you. I am usually very highly functional even when I feel like I am drowning and super overwhelmed. So to the outside it looks like I am coping just fine but on the inside I am clinging to my last spoon and one spilled milk away from a mental breakdown. I don't agree that it is weakness... maybe a want to avoid confrontation or the whirlwind you would get of "upsetting peoples expectations of you" or whatever. But that is their own baggage coming through. You are strong, but strength has limits .. so sometimes it is easier for the sanity to just go along with it and that is how we keep moving on and staying afloat. 

 

This... I can make things look fine, and 90% of the time, its "hey lets just do it because it needs done" but there are days I just don't know if I can keep going. But I do because I have to.

 

 

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

So funny story this made me think of. When we were little my brother had a loose tooth and he was so excited. He went to show my Grandpa and Grandpa was like "Oh lets see? Which one" and my brother proudly showed him which tooth and my Grandpa grabbed it and pulled it out O_O ..... but it was the wrong tooth. hahaha 

 

LOL, that is funny. Youngest won't let me wiggle her tooth since she is afraid I will pull it. It needs pulled, but whatever at this point.

 

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

THIS... this is how I am feeling lately. Like its cool life... keep piling it on... COME AT ME BRO.. T_T I am fine... everything is fine.

 

Its almost how we have to feel. We have to keep things moving. Its not like we can just give up and let it all fall apart.

 

19 hours ago, Rookie said:

Well he has a point about the lifting weights (but thats for me personally from personal experience)... cardio eh lol take it or leave it.. but protein powder before bed?? And saying what you are doing right now wouldn't make much of an impact?! Hogwash. OF COURSE it has an impact. You are developing a life that works for you and is healthier. You are cultivating habits and you are DOING them even when maybe you don't want to or you need a little push from hubby. Obviously there is no "set" way to get from point A to point B... there are multiple routes and you need to find what works for you. You are doing great. It is so easy to "preach" when you don't actually need to live through it. Everyones shoes are different. 

I also am making life changes, not short fixes. I am doing something, which is better than the nothing I want to be doing. So let me do this my way. Again, it goes back to the "Why can't everyone let me just be me and stop telling me how to live/feel/be?" You guys aren't and I am so glad to have you all. I am just wondering why everyone around me seems to be in this mode lately

Sorry, I am so in my head this AM. I have a migraine, I need to go to work with a sinus infection that is NOT HELPING the migraine. I am over things today. And now Agent White has decided to use my keyboard and hands to lay on. I guess I should get off then.

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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39 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

LOL, that is funny. Youngest won't let me wiggle her tooth since she is afraid I will pull it. It needs pulled, but whatever at this point.

 

 

Image result for in my day gif

You used a string and the door handle :P I wonder if the young'ens have developed a new way to pull out loose teeth.... We should check the youtube :P

 

39 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

I also am making life changes, not short fixes. I am doing something, which is better than the nothing I want to be doing. So let me do this my way. Again, it goes back to the "Why can't everyone let me just be me and stop telling me how to live/feel/be?" You guys aren't and I am so glad to have you all. I am just wondering why everyone around me seems to be in this mode lately

Exactly! It seems everyone has an opinion and knows better of what you should be doing. Why can't they just recognize and celebrate that you are trying and putting forth the effort. Like if you did nothing they would be like "Well... .can't you at least do baby steps?!" ... if you are doing baby steps then you aren't making progress fast enough for THEM. Like what :P I am not doing this for you random angry people of society who have nothing better to do but manage my life. I am pretty lucky that I don't really have people like that in life. I recently joined a low carb and keto recipe group for beginners... theres been no recipes posted that I have seen in the past day or so. And everyone is the keto police there.... someones doctor told them go ahead and do keto but don't fully remove apples or bananas... and everyone is like GASP THAT IS NOT KETO... and im like no its not keto.. but you know what if having an apple once in awhile (like once a week...) helps you stay on your diet and be more consistent then go for it... You don't need to follow everything to a T.. you need to find what works for you personally. And people are like GASP!!! 

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{Chase the wind and touch the sky; I will fly}

 

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2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

MIL spent all this time trying to be all "Aren't you glad that you are almost done, adn what about an open house and what about announcements." 

Could your MIL maybe hold the open house at her place? You've got more than enough to do without adding the stress of getting ready for a million people to come over. Or not at all. That should be perfectly fine too. 

 

2 hours ago, Bean Sidhe said:

Sorry, funk is still here.

I still think you're a rockstar. You have much better coping and adulting skills than I do.

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We are not sinners trespassing in the garden of an angry God.

We are prodigals come home; fully seen and deeply loved.

 

Put together enough small wins over a long enough period of time,

and you’ll find yourself in high level gear fighting dragons before you know it.

Spoiler

 

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11 hours ago, Rookie said:

 

 

Image result for in my day gif

You used a string and the door handle :P I wonder if the young'ens have developed a new way to pull out loose teeth.... We should check the youtube :P

 

Actually, I do the "Hey, let me see, oh look its in my hand."  She just won't evne let me wiggle it. I have to remind her. Why do I see going to the Dentist to have it pulled in our future.

 

 

11 hours ago, Rookie said:

Exactly! It seems everyone has an opinion and knows better of what you should be doing. Why can't they just recognize and celebrate that you are trying and putting forth the effort. Like if you did nothing they would be like "Well... .can't you at least do baby steps?!" ... if you are doing baby steps then you aren't making progress fast enough for THEM. Like what :P I am not doing this for you random angry people of society who have nothing better to do but manage my life. I am pretty lucky that I don't really have people like that in life. I recently joined a low carb and keto recipe group for beginners... theres been no recipes posted that I have seen in the past day or so. And everyone is the keto police there.... someones doctor told them go ahead and do keto but don't fully remove apples or bananas... and everyone is like GASP THAT IS NOT KETO... and im like no its not keto.. but you know what if having an apple once in awhile (like once a week...) helps you stay on your diet and be more consistent then go for it... You don't need to follow everything to a T.. you need to find what works for you personally. And people are like GASP!!! 

 

I don't really have people who do the "Your doing it wrong" generally, mostly because I don't tell anyone. It slipped out and that is WHY i never tell people. I mean, do what works, who cares if it doesn't work for me, I want YOU to do what works for you. I can find my own path. This also would lead into me and my rant on "why does everyone have to be involved in everything in other peoples lives" but that is a WHOLE other rant. Honestly, Do what you want, how you want, just don't force me to do it with you and we are cool, since 90% of the things this encompasses ain't my business in the first place. 

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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10 hours ago, Whisper said:

Could your MIL maybe hold the open house at her place? You've got more than enough to do without adding the stress of getting ready for a million people to come over. Or not at all. That should be perfectly fine too. 

 

I doubt it. MIL is scared of a good chunk of Chosen family and lives an hour away. Plus, it means she would be the only person there that didn't need to travel. And it would end up being all her friends and none of ours so I really don't want a thing where I know no one AND am the center of attention.

 

10 hours ago, Whisper said:

I still think you're a rockstar. You have much better coping and adulting skills than I do.

Thank you. I don't think I am. If anything, I am better at hiding the fact I can't do either of these things. But I am trying

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12 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

 

Actually, I do the "Hey, let me see, oh look its in my hand."  She just won't evne let me wiggle it. I have to remind her. Why do I see going to the Dentist to have it pulled in our future.

 

Oh you're a magician! Lol be like let me wiggle it or have the dentist remove it... Your choice kid lol

 

Quote

 

I don't really have people who do the "Your doing it wrong" generally, mostly because I don't tell anyone. It slipped out and that is WHY i never tell people. I mean, do what works, who cares if it doesn't work for me, I want YOU to do what works for you. I can find my own path. This also would lead into me and my rant on "why does everyone have to be involved in everything in other peoples lives" but that is a WHOLE other rant. Honestly, Do what you want, how you want, just don't force me to do it with you and we are cool, since 90% of the things this encompasses ain't my business in the first place. 

Yes! Though of course I found out my dad just started keto so I called him to ask how it is going and cause I wanted to impart my knowledge on him 🤣. I asked him if he wants any tricks and tips and he's laughed and said "well yah I really do but not right now" and I was like"oh... You're busy? You want tricks and tips but just not right now" And he's like "ohhh I thought you said chips and dip.. sorry I'm in the pool hall"  🤦 definitely just started keto LOL! 

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{Chase the wind and touch the sky; I will fly}

 

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So I totally lost all of weds.

 

Tuesday went well, I got a ton of homework and stuff done here. The last member of our project appeared and got going. Still need a decision since I think no one wants to make the call.  but I also made step goal and felt like I was getting somewhere. Which is kinda amazing considering I had a massive migraine and went to bed by 930.

 

Boxes for Tuesday

Strength 3 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  7 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 9 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 2 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 13 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 48 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

 

Wednesday didn't go as well challenge wise. Work was frustrating, but Mentor says we are done with the project for now since its working, but its not the best way. We can revisit later. My challenge really derailed after work. We invited Mentor over for dinner for a few reasons. It was also Brother S dinner night (deliberately). I didn't think I was nervous, until after Mentor left and my anxiety went haywire. Like I asked Hubby a couple of times if he was okay and didn't worry that I was flirting or something. (anxiety is stupid). Hubby repeatedly said "no it went great, you weren't doing any of that. Your anxious because it went so well"  Brother S said "Yeah, hes okay" which is good. But after everyone left, I just kinda collapsed. The stuff that got done was all done before people came. I really needed to do my streches, but couldnt be bothered last night. So not a great day challenge wise, but went good overall.  

Boxes for Tuesday

Strength 3 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  1 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 8 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 8 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 3 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 1 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 12 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 36 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

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Okay, so Chosen family was in town this weekend for our holiday party and I remember WHY I love them all so much.

 

Anyway, Thurs I did really well until I did my stretches on Thursday night, I was fighting a migraine and then stretched wrong upset my back. As such, Hubby told me I get credit for trying, but I wasn't allowed to stretch anymore. I had 43 pts on Thurs and all the boxes (Since I tried but had to stop). Work was really good, but weird so it was an up and down day that had to get some work done.

Boxes for Thursday

Strength 3 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  4 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 9 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 2 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 11 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 43 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

 

Friday and Saturday I didn't track. I had a ton to do Friday between school and family arriving. But I will say I didn't sleep much this weekend and am paying for it (Bedtime was 2 am, Agents and nieces had us up by 6) . I fully admit I ate all sorts of stuff Sat (more healthy than not) and it was a "cheat" weekend for many of us. However, I also admit that I didn't walk like at all Sat and it shows. The big take away was how they all have their own stuff going on and they still wanted to make a point to come to graduation and offered to deal with my mom. Also Sister S offered to make my grad cake and promised to deal with my mom if she gets out of line at the party.  I was able to be there for them, but mostly, We all just hung out and were able to be there for one another. Most told me to tell my family where they could go, but I walked away from this weekend SOOOOOOOO tired but recharged. They want to come and hang with me after I graduate to see me get all "Hey, I am done" and promised to be proud no matter what.

 

I also spent a good chunk of Friday working on the group project. Looks like I get to be the manager, so yay... not. I will help where I can and hopefully keep us on track.   I am not happy about it, but at least I can start working on the planning and figuring out what all this will mean for day to day life for the next 14 weeks. Because knowing is better than not.

 

I got back on track today, and have already finished all  my boxes. I may still do more boxes, but I have the minimums done so if I fall asleep watching football, no harm no foul.  But I am also feeling very motivated, reminded why I need to do this. Sister S says I should have the DR look at why even with ALL I do, I can't lose weight. I know its not thyroid, or diabetes and all my blood work comes back perfect (Potassium being the one that may not be),  so she thinks its genetic. We will see.  Right now, the goal is to at least feel strong and healthier by Graduation. Time to get back to work.

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So first off, sorry I am not stopping by anyone else's threads. I really want to, but sleep has been winning of late.

That being said, yesterday I did okay considering I had less than 6 hours of sleep over 3 days. It was hard to see chosen family go home, especially when both my nieces cried since they had to leave and wanted to keep me and Youngest Agent.  But everyone is home safe and that is what mattered.

Also yesterday was that my blood sugar was ALL Messed up. We had doughnuts for breakfast and about an hour and a half after we ate, I could barely think. It was a sugar crash and we did lunch at 11. After that I was doing better but I had another small one about dinner time. I snacked constantly on Saturday (more veg than not) but not much protein and I need the protein to stop some of these crashes. Problem is, I don't really want meat lately (like last 2 years), nuts are not an option (thanks allergies) and sometimes sneaking beans or mushrooms into something is hard. ugh.

 

But I did get all the points for walking from running a few errands after family left and I made myself walk laps of the house in the evening (mostly to get my step goal, then to stay awake).  I really do feel more... motivated to do this, and while there maybe something that makes it super hard for me to lose weight, I am going to try including getting back on the treadmill so I can get back to that almost jogging I did a few years ago before my last surgery. I just hope I stay as motivated as I am.

 

Boxes for Sunday

Strength 5 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  6 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 12 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 6 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 4 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 13 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 53 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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On 1/28/2020 at 8:33 PM, Rookie said:

Oh you're a magician! Lol be like let me wiggle it or have the dentist remove it... Your choice kid lol

 

That is about where I am getting to. Its still there. Seriously, wiggle it or something. It can't be comfortable.

 

 

On 1/28/2020 at 8:33 PM, Rookie said:

Yes! Though of course I found out my dad just started keto so I called him to ask how it is going and cause I wanted to impart my knowledge on him 🤣. I asked him if he wants any tricks and tips and he's laughed and said "well yah I really do but not right now" and I was like"oh... You're busy? You want tricks and tips but just not right now" And he's like "ohhh I thought you said chips and dip.. sorry I'm in the pool hall"  🤦 definitely just started keto LOL! 

 

That is silly. I hope it works for you and  your dad. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

 

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48 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

That is about where I am getting to. Its still there. Seriously, wiggle it or something. It can't be comfortable.

Put the young'en in karate :P maybe someone will kick it out. 

 

48 minutes ago, Bean Sidhe said:

That is silly. I hope it works for you and  your dad. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

Well Keto is not for me :P but I thought i could pass on what worked and helped it not be turrible. It sounds like hes doing fairly well though. My mom said something about "Yah theres not much food at home that your sister can just grab because your dad is doing his keto thing."

It must of been so nice to see the chosen family. They seem to be very good for you. And I am glad you feel re-motivated for your journey ❤️ 

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{Chase the wind and touch the sky; I will fly}

 

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21 hours ago, Rookie said:

Put the young'en in karate :P maybe someone will kick it out. 

 

Part of me loves this idea, part of me is going "Man, that would be more expensive"

 

 

21 hours ago, Rookie said:

Well Keto is not for me :P but I thought i could pass on what worked and helped it not be turrible. It sounds like hes doing fairly well though. My mom said something about "Yah theres not much food at home that your sister can just grab because your dad is doing his keto thing."

 

We have that problem sometimes and we aren't even doing Keto. I just try to keep all the "Grab and munch mindlessly" food out of the house.

 

 

21 hours ago, Rookie said:

It must of been so nice to see the chosen family. They seem to be very good for you. And I am glad you feel re-motivated for your journey ❤️ 

Honestly, I knew I missed them terribly, but I didn't realize it was that much. These people I keep around for a reason, I mean, I have know some of them for over 20 years now and they still put up with me and we are so good for each other. I just wish they didn't live so far away.

 

I am still remotivated, and I got some sleep last night. Who knows what I get done.

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Well downside of Monday was the post Chosen Family slump, where I missed them all terribly. Other than that, the day was a bit weird at work, but okay. I even went for a walk for a bit outside with my fun coworker.  The walk and the weather felt pretty good and it was SO SO nice here (60s anyone), but it will be gone today since we are getting rain that will lead to snow from now till Thursday. Winter returned again.

 

In other news, I got quite a bit of homework done, only to find out we had an assignment kinda due for our group work that I had to come up with in about 20 minutes. I am glad I asked the instructor about it now. However, I could not find a turn in link, so I just emailed it to him and asked if I just missed the link.  I should be hearing from him today. Fortunately, he is rather on the ball.

 

More problems paying mom's mortgage, but partially my fault. I tried to do it at like 9 om and they texted my mom a verification. She was not feeling sending me the code. So I will do it after work today. I either need to put me on everything or have her do it.

 

In "Are you kidding me news", I realized that Agent White and Agent Twlight were sitting on my pepper seedlings and killing them, so we had to not make dinner in order to get lexan to put over them to prevent the cats from squishing the plants. As a result, I had to replant my pepper plants and hopefully I can save some. I have the stuff ready so I can plant Tomatoes tonight (I decided to wait till after we finished the catproofing to do it) Although I somehow ended up with 28 varieties of Tomato seeds and my seed starter is only a 72 seedling tray. Looks like I may need to make some decisions on which ones to grow. But again, having my garden starting back up is good for the "we will get through winter" moments.

 

Challenge wise, I did pretty well. I really planned to get on the treadmill, but the dinner breaking and homework hiccup caused a late dinner. That plus the late nights over the weekend and after dinner (about 1030) I was done and crashed. The good news is I slept really well and wasn't dragging as bad getting out of bed. I am getting more exercises done and the walk counted for my walking goal. Now to do better today. Too bad I won't get a good walk outside today. Oh and I started thinking of next challenge already, which is probably good. I want to add more things to it, but really, I should probably not add more to it and just work on upping my points per section and total. I mean even with my not so great weekends, I am still averaging over 47 pts a day. So I may have a jump in what I need to do next Challenge.  We will see. I really want to be like "Do all the things and do more things" but may not be wise. Then again, I was never accused of being wise....

 

 

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Tuesday started off all recharged. Then I got to work and FOUGHT this project I am working on. Again, new thing coming in and I will be the first to really learn it. Its frustrating when the first project we are doing on it is NOT a beginner project.

 

Other than that the day went okay. Not amazing but okay. I finally got the mortgage paid for my mom (Thank you bank for making logging in a 3 day process and then mom for not wanting her to do the one thing I need). But I need to go have a real conversation about that. Not looking forward to it and really, I see it becoming a fit or her shutting down, which put me in a funk. But I am trying. Mostly because I am tired of it being my fault when its not, I am just trying to keep things rolling and she is either indifferent to things like bills or actively fighting. I wish I wasn't getting mad about it, but I am .

 

In things I CAN Control:: I did get my tomatoes started and the new "kitty proof box" finished for the seedlings (Agent White was sitting on the pepper seedlings) which should help. I also got some homework done (hoping to finish today) and our project idea has been approved, so time to get to work.

Challenge wise, I did okay. I made myself walk laps of the  1st floor again for over 15 minutes, which also put me over my 7000 steps goal which was nice. I don't feel I get as worn out like I do with the treadmill, but its better than nothing.  I also feel I ate better, but I wasn't amazing about it. I am not looking forward to Thurs morning when I weigh in since I am 90% sure I gained with Choosen family here and our world being all weird for like 5 days. But, I need to worry about today or maybe tomorrow.

 

 

Link to comic that makes the last part make sense (I can't embed it) : https://twittehttps://twitter.com/theawkwardyeti/status/1222175344054108162?s=20

 

 

Also, 2 days in a row  with 59 pts.

 

Boxes for Tuesday

Strength 7 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  7 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 13 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 8 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 7 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 4 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 13 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 59 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

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So late update because Snow came in and I had to shove the driveway this AM and lost my NF time.

Yesterday was meh.. I am getting frustrated with the project that is mine for work. Mostly because new software  no one knows and it may not be able to do what I need it to. But I got in a funk last night but still managed to do stuff. I would love to say "I did all the things" but I didn't. I am really just in a weird spot where I Know IF I do my stuff and IF I stay on it, and IF I don't lose faith, it will work, but I am feeling very... worn down, since I have been told for years that I will never lose it (thanks family) and that Sister S said its Genetic and I need a Dr to do something, ( not sure I am there yet) and then Mentor and his little speech the other day. I know the trolls love to turn things that in some cases are meant well (Sister S, Mentor) and turn it to "they don't believe in you either), Big thing is, I have to try. I have to believe but that button seems broke again.


But I am sticking too it, mostly because these damn boxes are the one thing I CAN CONTROL in my life right now. I mean, I don't know where I am working after May, I don't know what to do after school is done, I don't know when we can take vacation or something.. I mean My life's ability to plan ends when I graduate. Hell, I don;t even know if I can make this work project into something that resembles what it is suppose to be, and there is really no one but google to ask. Its making my anxiety and control issues crazy. So, I am trying to focus on what I can. Maybe it helps, maybe I am wasting my time. but damn it, I have to do something, even if that something is making sure my desk is clean before bed.

 

Oh and I had 2 Kcups of hot cocoa at work because it was snowy and cold yesterday. Today I only had one, but its stupid sugar (even if it is only 70 cals) and I know better. So by no stupid sugar point. 

 

Okay, that was a ramble, sorry. I am going to bed now.

 

Boxes for Tuesday

Strength 7 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  10 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 13 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 8 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 9 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 4 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 12 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 59 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Sorry I haven’t been keeping up with your thread! 
 

im so glad having your Chosen Family around was such a great time. And that they want to go to graduation and deal with your mom for you. They sound awesome. 
 

As far as losing weight, punch the trolls in the face please. If you can’t have faith right now I’ll have it for you. I totally believe you’ll get there and it’s entirely possible for you. ❤️

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Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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13 hours ago, fleaball said:

Sorry I haven’t been keeping up with your thread! 

No worries, do what you can when you can. remember, I am not one more thing to deal with.

 

 

13 hours ago, fleaball said:

im so glad having your Chosen Family around was such a great time. And that they want to go to graduation and deal with your mom for you. They sound awesome. 
 

 

They are awesome and I am so lucky to have them. However, depending on who I allow to be "on Mom detail" I have to make sure they don't do a dumb and end up making me hear about it for the next 20 years. So yeah, There are a few that I can't put on that detail (Like the one who said she would totally just get security and make her leave entirely).

 

13 hours ago, fleaball said:

As far as losing weight, punch the trolls in the face please. If you can’t have faith right now I’ll have it for you. I totally believe you’ll get there and it’s entirely possible for you. ❤️

I have hope. The weigh in this week wasn't that bad considering all I had been eating badly (Techincally down a lb, but I am pretty sure I was bloated the week before). However, I am trying to focus on the things like 75 crunches in the morning, 75 Knee to elbows a day as opposed to when this challenge started and I had 40 knee to elbows and 10 crunches.  But the weight would really really be nice to finally beat. Especially when I have it in my head everyone else says it is going to fail.

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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So Thursday was okay. Weekly weigh in wasn't as bad as I was afraid, which is good. After the chosen family cheat weekend, I was expecting much much worse. So I am taking the one lb I am down as a win.  I also was able to do 75 crunches in the morning and 75 knee  to elbows in the evening which I am taking as  "Hey look, progress at this." IN fact, I should actually close this challenge out correctly and do a "Recap" which includes things like "Hey, this is the difference in my reps for things"  and  steps average.

 

Anyway, back to Thurs.

 

Before work I did shovel snow for like 30 minutes which helped, and I had over 10,000 steps for the first time in more than a bit.

 

I went to work which was okay. I am still struggling with that software and Mentor said "I should learn it to help you" so I am fighting with it again Monday. We meet with the end user on next Thurs for a "check in" where I am hoping I have something to show them.

 

After work was okay, but I sugar crashed hard when dinner was late. Like tried to sleep on my desk crashed until I was handed a KIND bar. That helped. I really worry it is diabetes when I get tired after X period of time between meals/snacks, but is that a real thing? Or is it the opposite and its Hypoglycemia? Every year my blood-work comes back perfect for sugars, but after my dad died I am bit more cautious since he had a Blood sugar of 500 when the EMTs got there. I am avoiding looking into it myself because well, looking at your own symptoms on WebMD is never a good idea. It really kinda feels like I just ran out of gas. Anyone have experience with this?

 

Other than that, challenge went really well.  I ended up with a total of 64 pts which is good since the goal is 27. Next challenge I really should up that goal. But here is to hoping I can keep this up. I really just want to see progress and I still have so much to do.

 

Boxes for Thursday

Strength 7 pts out of 2 (Max 10)

Flexibility  11 pts out of 4 (Max 12)

Life and Family 13 pts out of 7  (Max 15)

Fight Chaos - Clean 8 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Fight Chaos - Purge 9 pts out of 3 (Max 9)

Walking 4 pt out of 2 (Max 4)

Fuel 12 pts out of 6 (Max 13)

Total 64 pts out of 27 

Number of boxes - 7 out of 7

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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If your blood work always comes back fine then I wouldn’t worry about diabetes right now. Is it possible you’re just not eating enough food and/or not eating often enough? I have a bad habit of going too long between meals and I’ll be miserable and exhausted, then suddenly I feel human again after eating something. With your crazy on-the-go life and dinner seeming to get pushed back a lot, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re just running on empty by the end of the day. 

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Level 69 Battle Kitten

Battle Log | Current Challenge

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Je suis partie pour reconstruire ma vie

C'est dit, c'est ainsi

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15 hours ago, fleaball said:

If your blood work always comes back fine then I wouldn’t worry about diabetes right now. Is it possible you’re just not eating enough food and/or not eating often enough? I have a bad habit of going too long between meals and I’ll be miserable and exhausted, then suddenly I feel human again after eating something. With your crazy on-the-go life and dinner seeming to get pushed back a lot, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re just running on empty by the end of the day. 

 

That is kinda what I am hoping, but Diabetes runs in the family, and honestly, tis what killed my Dad. But for now, I am just going with "Eat something stupid, but make it a good something" and doing what I can. And limiting my stupid sugar intake helps as well

 

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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Okay, so I am actually going to try and do an recap. Overall, I did okay, weekends were not great. Weekends are also when routine goes out a window.

I see improvement in my exercise numbers, Mostly crunches went from 10 a day to 75, Knee to elbow went from 40 to 75, leg lifts and squats went from 10 a day to 25.
 

I felt better when stretching which I knew would happen.

 

I had 3 days where I hit 70 out of 72  points. But to me the biggest thing is that I averaged how I did. At the end of the challenge I averaged 48.973 points a day when I was only shooting for 27.  In fact, I upped my next challenge based on this to 51 pts a day.

 

Here is how I did in each category. I used these numbers to see what I should do next challenge. Here is to hoping it goes well.

 

 

Did I get all pts in:

Needed

Possible

Average

                                                                   

Strength

2

10

4.540540541

 

Flexibility

4

12

6.135135135

 

Life and Family

7

15

11.37837838

 

Fight Chaos - Clean

3

9

6.486486486

 

Fight Chaos - Purge

3

9

6.351351351

 

Walking

2

4

2.540540541

 

Fuel

6

13

11.54054054

 

Total

27

72

48.97297297

 

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You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream - C.S. Lewis

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